200

Rubbish
Posted on May 1, 2013 by David M Willis

200 thoughts on “Rubbish”

  1. Jen Aside

    As my insane acquaintance would say, “Those legs go all the way to the floor!”

    1. Yotomoe

      I would certainly hope so! Or else standing’d be difficult.

      1. Yotsuya

        Not true. Fenchurch’s legs didn’t go all the way to the ground, and she could stand just fine.

        1. Bluebird

          WIN!

    2. Resne

      Dem legs.

    3. Kernanator

      They go up and down and up and down. Like an elevator!

      1. John

        More like a rollercoaster.

      2. halcyon1234

        And sometimes they get stuck and you have to push a button for help.

        I think.

        1. Jenny Creed

          She actually just had her legs lengthened. Now they go all the way around.

    4. Emoroffle

      Curvy and leggy. yummy

    5. JaneDoe

      Anyone else read this and immediately think of The Phantom Tollbooth? …Just me, huh?

      1. riteilu

        Nope, definitely me, too.

    6. Notebooked

      “She had legs up to her armpits and arms that went all the way down to her legs. [pause] She was the most grotesque woman I’d ever seen.”

    7. ProjectXa3

      So… uh… how would they NOT go all the way to the floor?

      1. Starkiem

        She had both legs shorter than the other.

  2. Regalli

    Nice high kick, Billie. Also, nice fanservice.

    1. Aras Pabedinskas

      I was wondering if that was the reason Billy wasn’t wearing pants, but then I was like “It’s Willis, adamant supporter of women’s representation” But then I was like “Well the rest of the female cast are well-developed characters, and Billy’s dress isn’t her constant state. So fanservice like this are okay once in a while. As long as we get some dudes like this, too. which we do.” Yes. I thought all that.

      1. Brian Lynch

        Yeah, I mean that one shot of Jacob on its own got us at least a week of Pantsless Billie.

      2. MichaelHaneline

        Eh, all the guys in the guys dorm were in shirts and underpants too. I think he’s just being realistic here.

        1. All-purpose guru

          Not at my school, dammit.

        2. Reepicheep-chan

          This is true, it seems like have the time we see Joe he is in his underpants. I do not remember quite so many underpants from my college days but whatever I guess.

        3. The E-man

          My freshman year roommate always took his shirt off when hanging around the room. Sometimes it wouldn’t be on purpose, he’d just do it absentmindedly sitting at a computer. He just found it more comfortable. I usually slept in boxers (over underwear) and it was not an uncommon sight to see me walking down the halls in just my boxers (though with my shirt on). We balanced each other rather well…

        4. Boom

          Shirtless is the way, and the way is comfortable.

  3. Lucca

    Kickin’ junk and takin’ names.

    1. Aizat

      I’m here to kick junk and taking names. And I’m all out of names.

      1. Icalasari

        I’m here to take junk and kick names. And I’m all outta junk

  4. Wonder Wig

    Nonsense Agatha, or Bizarro world-Mike as we call her.

    1. Nifar

      Earth-11 Mike. Bizzaro Mike would be grey and blocky. And possibly have three-dimensional hair.

  5. Z3tto

    She’s got legs! And she knows how to use them!

    1. Aizat

      We did the same joke at the same time. Who are you?

      1. Yotomoe

        He’s you. From the future.

        1. Neospector

          Did someone make time go wibbly-wobbly again?

        2. CrazyOne

          No, Z3tto use the chronos discombulator a mere millasecond prior to Aizat

        3. Neospector

          Curses, that means we need to generate another 1.21 gigawatts to get home, don’t we?

  6. Robbie C

    Damn, I retract my comment requesting an SO like Billie. She’d snap me in half.

    1. AgentKeen

      I think I’d be ok with that o.o

    2. fhqwhgads

      That comment is esp. enjoyable with your avatar. 😀

      1. tb

        Yeah, the way they match up is pretty weird sometimes.

    3. Yotomoe

      But with flexibility like that, would it really matter?

      1. Aizat

        Don’t forget her reach as well.

    4. Kernanator

      I can live with that. But then, I’m weird like that.

  7. Hoboturtle

    Minute there I through Agatha was blonde short haired Robin.

    1. Kirby

      … Isn’t that what she is though?

  8. Aizat

    She got legs! She knows how to use’em.

  9. Count Dracula

    Came for Billie, stayed for Agatha.

    1. Lieutenant Dan

      *snicker*

  10. ASmellyOgre

    *Darth Sidious voice*
    Yes, Billie. Let the hate flow through you.

  11. cookie1995

    no one might need Ruth Billie but judging by the fact seems no one seen Ruth since she kissed you Ruth might need someone

    1. Yotomoe

      Billie is the girlfriend Ruth wants, but not the one she deserves.

      1. Mimo

        Took it from me.

        1. Mimo

          (Gravatar is RELEVANT. ♥ )

    2. gangler

      That’s the thing about when nobody needs you. Nobody cares what you need when you’re unneeded.

  12. AngryBamboo

    the world will cry out for me to unclog its trash chute, and i will whisper…NO. this summer…who cheers the cheerleaders?

    1. Aizat

      And all the leaders will look up and shout “SAVE US!” and Billie will whisper “No”.

      1. Rex Hondo

        And all the students and TA’s will shout “SAVE US!” and Billie will look up from her pillow and whisper, “Shut up. I am SO fucking hung over right now.”

        1. Groove

          Like Kate Beaton’s Wonder Woman (this fully capitalised sentence offends me).

    2. Heavensrun

      “Who cheers the cheeleaders?” Apparently this comment section.

      1. Kaci

        Avarar makes that wonderful

  13. Wonder Wig

    I read the word “Rubbish” on the sign as a British answer to Billie’s question.

    1. Aizat

      Yeah, that’s kinda odd. I thought you Americans used trash or garbage.

      1. Wonder Wig

        It must be one of the key differences in this universe.

        1. David

          I thought it was an odd thing to have above the trash chutes myself. It was odd enough that I remembered it all these years.

        2. Ragnal

          So you’re saying this is really in the dorms.

        3. David

          Yup.

        4. Groove

          First the world, then only your rubbish chutes, then soon the world again!

  14. NerdHerder

    HELLLLLOOOOOOOOOO, BILLIE.

    1. Arkadi

      I SAY

  15. Cholma

    Fan Service: The Willis knows what you like.

    Billie might have found a new career! It’s like her own superpower; maybe she and Amazi-Girl will join forces to… [takes off sunglasses] take out the trash.

    YEAHHHHHHHHH!

    1. Rheinman

      +1. I read that in a David Caruso voice.

  16. Doctor_Who

    “Goddamned Cheerleader” should totally be Amazi-Girl’s sidekick.

    1. Aizat

      Are you dense? Are you retarded? Who the hell do you think I am? I’M THE GODDAMNED CHEERLEADER!

      1. Kaci

        Watch out villains! She’s got razzle-dazzle!

    2. Yotomoe

      After “The Dina-saur”

    3. Kernanator

      Nonono, she should be her rival.

    4. Aizat

      With that kick, I couldn’t stop imagining Billie in a Kamen Rider-esque costume.

    5. Notebooked

      I have an idea.

      There’s Ethan, the Goddamned Bat-Fan!
      There’s Billie, the Beerleader!
      There’s Amazi-Girl!
      There’s Ruthless the Snapper of Femurs!
      There’s Jacob, or Hunkydory!
      There’s Joyce, The Fun-Damentalist, who’s sort of like Harley Quinn but does nothing intentionally rude or insulting or lewd or mischievous. (But she does sometimes put on a silly voice!)
      There’s Roz, the Condom Crusader!
      There’s Dorothy, the Spectacle!
      There’s Sarah, or Bat-Woman!
      There’s Joe, Supernovaca–Supercasano–Sunocasa–Sexy-Man!
      There’s Danny, the Great Blando! (His superpowers include becoming invisible. Well, not really, people just don’t notice him.)
      There’s Dina, the Dina-Saur!
      There’s Walky, or Walky-Talky! (His superpower is walking and talking at the same time, with two Nachitos up his nose.)
      There’s Leslie, or the Les-Pain! (“Doesn’t that mean you give…less pain?” “SHUT UP I’LL PUNCH YOU”)

      Together, they are…the DORM DEFENDERS!

      (There’s also Mike, whose superhero name is Mike and who goes around revealing everyone’s secret identities right before the final showdown, which derails the situation and sends everyone to Galasso’s.)

  17. Kernanator

    Billie. Stop.

    Stop trying to usurp Dina as my favorite character. It’s okay to be second.

    1. Yotomoe

      I’m in no danger. Sierra is by far the best for me.

    2. Aras Pabedinskas

      Why do you have to keep favourites. I treat characters like a parent should treat their children. They are all my favourites! Except for when they dissapoint me…DANNY.

      1. The E-man

        *earlier that day* I don’t care for Char.

  18. TaZZerath

    Hungover Billie with Trash-Clearing Karate Action!

    1. Yotomoe

      With Empty Bottle excessory* Also if you act now you can get her Cheerleading outfit! *N and S not included*

      1. Petre Pan

        High five. So high five.

  19. Globen

    That ‘however’ seems unecessary for the dialogue flow, but that’s just me.

  20. Spammy McSpamster

    looks a bit like Sal, there

    1. Aizat

      I think Sal is a subtle influence.

  21. Valdrax

    I’m not entirely sure what her leg is doing in panel 4.
    It seems to be bending at the femur.

    1. Yotomoe

      Ruth helped her femurs to be more bendy.

    2. begbert2

      I’m still trying to figure out how she kicked the trash bag without smashing her shin into the edge of the chute hatch. I mean, she’s clearly raising her leg straight up, after which it would of course come straight back down, like a hammer. And presumably break her leg and/or tear the hatch clean off.

      Unless of course her upraised leg turned into a bendy tentacle that then stretched and wiggled horizontally over to nudge the bag in. Which appears to be what Willis was going for. Cheerleaders can do that, right?

  22. vsophi

    billie is so cute without her glasses and her hair down
    <3

    1. Totz the Plaid

      She’s cuter with her glasses, though.

      1. Yotomoe

        She’s just cute.

        1. Aizat

          She’s cute and hot at same time. It’s a package deal! 😀

    2. All-purpose guru

      Not to mention with her pants off.

  23. Aizat

    I’m just spitballing here but I think Billie is taking the position of Ms. Fanservice.

    1. Rheinman

      I don’t know…Sal at the beach taking off the leather jacket still ranks as Queen of the fan service to me. But we have found her understudy.

  24. RaijinK

    “Are you dense? Are you fucking retarded?”

    Billie is the hero that dorm needs.

    No I don’t care if I’m mixing Batman references now. Billie’s being awesome and that’s all I can think how to express my appreciation at the moment.

    1. Yotomoe

      But not the one it deserves.

  25. Philippe G.

    “What are you, dense? Are you retard or something? Who the hell do you think I am?
    I’M A GODDAMN CHEERLEADER!”

  26. |Agent

    I’m calling it: Agatha makes out with Billie as a thank you.

    1. Yotomoe

      Well I guess I might as well draw it out. I’m kinda getting known for it at this point!

      1. Yotomoe

        Well here y’all go again

        1. begbert2

          …She has two right hands…

        2. Yotomoe

          Don’t look at it as her having 2 right hands. Look at it as her having no thumbs. Which is much worse a mistake to make.

        3. Kernanator

          This makes me laugh.

      2. Kernanator

        Hey, when you’ve carved out a niche for yourself, might as well take up as much space there as possible.

        …I’m not sure where my metaphor was going.

  27. AngryBamboo

    and then billie went “shit there was fucking glass in that bag! my fucking foot is torn to shreds” and much laughter and merriment was had by all

    1. Kernanator

      End episode.

      1. Yotomoe

        Seinfield Segway music*

        1. N0083rP00F

          More like Yakety Sax …… or …. the Benny Hill Boogie ….

  28. Sporky

    billie in sexy clothes and that leg shot, PLUS her showing a badass display of power, PLUS her basically challenging ruth in a sort of righteous revenge sort of way?

    man, the first thing wouldve been enough, but willis understands holistic fanservice. hotness not only through phsyical attractiveness but also through confidence and strength of personality.

    1. Aizat

      I told you, Billie is gunning for the Ms. Fanservice position.

    2. Yotomoe

      Billie knows what the fans want. She’s just pretending she doesn’t know about the 4th wall.

      1. Aizat

        So, she’s Deadpool?

        1. AgentKeen

          No, Deadpool takes a sledgehammer to the fourth wall for redecorating. Billie just does a high kick.

        2. Aras Pabedinskas

          I’ve seen pictures of Deadpool gunning for |Ms. fanservice, it’s not pretty.

    3. Regalli

      I KNOW, RIGHT? She’s not just looking good, she’s looking good while being badass in a way that makes sense.

    4. Makkabee

      Dayenu.

  29. Aizat

    Not shown: Billie holding her foot in pain.

    1. Ragnal

      Maybe her entire leg, even. How the heck does it curve like that?

      I’ll admit though, I’m impressed she can still get her leg that high with all the junk in the trunk.

      1. Kernanator

        *golf clap*

        1. Ragnal

          Did that sound bad? >_> I wasn’t trying to sound bad, I’m just being honest there. I am impressed.

        2. Kernanator

          No no, I actually enjoyed that joke.

        3. Ragnal

          What jo-…OOOOOOOOOOH.

          I didn’t even think about that. XD How the hell am I funnier when I’m NOT attempting humor?!

      2. Aydr

        That’s not a trunk, it’s a trash chute.

        …I don’t think I fixed it.

  30. alicemacher

    Dear Hanukkah Harry,

    I know it’s early to be writing, but next Hanukkah please bring me one (1) Billie. Please refer to the attached illustration for her attire.

    Sincerely,

    Alice

  31. ridtom

    “She’s the Cheer-Leader we need, but not the Cheer-Leader we deserve.”- Amazi-Girl

    1. Aizat

      Wait, I thought Amazi-Girl was the Batman expy.

      1. Gargamel

        Ya know, given that Frank Millers bit on Batman was a parody of the whole Robin thing, I could entirely see it as something the Joker (pretending to be Batman) might say.

  32. Barrage7667

    Isnt anyone else concerned that she plans to drop a bunch of glass bottles down a 2-3 story trash chute…

    A) She should recycle em
    B) Shes gonna kill whoever tries to pick up that bag. (Unless, of course its in one of those dumpsters that the dump truck picks up. but still its broken glass.)

    1. Heavensrun

      I dunno. Some glass bottles are virtually indestructable. I once took a Sobe bottle and flung it AS HARD AS I COULD into an empty dumpster just to see if I -could- break it.

      Spoilers: I couldn’t.

  33. Uniqueantique

    Said it days and days ago. Ruth is in the trash chute. Bet on it.

    1. Aizat

      What’s she doing in the trash chute?

      1. Pinja

        Looking for the discarded panties she so craves

    2. Heavensrun

      If ruth was in the trash chute, somebody would’ve noticed the smell by this point. Dead animal/person smells WAY worse than a couple days worth of trash. Not to mention how would she have gotten there? Murder victims end up dead in trash chutes, not suicides, and the only reason anybody has even floated the hypothesis that she’s dead is because she was last seen in sad tiems and people are paranoid about the suicidal tendencies of fictional lesbians.

      1. Gargamel

        Or she’s alive down there and sleeping of a hangover, well done Bellie there goes your breathing privileges.

      2. Notebooked

        For some reason I had this theory that she was holed up in the trash room and feeding off garbage that people threw away, but then the garbage would move, so it wouldn’t be clogged. And, y’know, they’d probably have someone to throw away the garbage who would discover her. So I think this is a red herring.

    3. LiveWire

      I thought it in the first comic that said the chute was clogged…
      And Heavens, should you ever read this again, the first BOOK was week #1 at college. What makes you think it’s been more than a day or two?
      Besides, she could have climbed inside and slit her wrists, or something.
      (Please don’t be right, please don’t be right…)

  34. Aizat

    So, how much beer bottle on the floor left?

  35. Gilder

    Missing final panel is her walking away from an explosion without looking back at it.

  36. someguywithakatana

    Oh no. Please don’t do something terrible to Ruth, Willis. I don’t think my heart can take it again.

  37. Keroshino

    Oh boy…I sure do hope that Ruth is all right! 🙁

    1. Aizat

      Last time we see her, she found Walky’s shoe on the floor.

      1. David

        Pretty sure we saw her after that.

        1. Yotomoe

          She was all sad and shit.

    2. Yonah

      If Ruth!suicide is where this plot arc ends up going, I’m going to be extremely upset.

      1. Kernanator

        Ruthicide.

        Actually that sounds like it could make for a good death metal band.

        1. Yarrr

          I thought that’s what people died of if they were too loud after midnight.

        2. Heavensrun

          DAMN YOU I WANTED TO MAKE THAT JOKE

    3. ender1200

      And here i thought i was the only one who was worried by that line.

  38. Ryune

    Ewwwww, Billy you just put your foot on someone else’s trash. Your shoeless foot. Super gross.

    (Then again, shoes in this situation aren’t necessarily good either. I once lost a shoe to the trash chute because I tried stomping it down like that and the trash took my shoe with it. That was fun to explain to the building manager)

    1. Peruhain

      Actually, there’s a sock on her foot.

      1. Gargamel

        Wouldn’t be surprised if she left a bloody footprint walking out of this area with all the broken glass in that trash bag.

  39. BranTheQuixotic

    I am inexplicably amused that we have seen our Mormon character again, and the comic that she appears in is about Billie hiding her alcohol consumption.

    Mormons can’t drink alcohol, and as a former Mormon who spent a long time as a secret atheist living a double life something about Mormons and furtive alcohol consumption appearing in the same comic is amusing specifically to me.

    If Ruth shows up and discovers the bottle and the fact that Mormons don’t drink becomes a plot point that is relevant, I’ll shit bricks.

    1. Aydr

      Mormons also can’t be gay. It’s amazing how many things I’ve seen mormons do that they can’t.

      1. Andrusi

        Yep. Can’t drink alcohol, can’t drink coffee, can’t drink tea, can’t be gay, can’t smoke, can’t have premarital sex, can’t look at porn, can’t pass through solid objects, can’t travel faster than light, can’t buy me loooooove, everybody tells me so, can’t buy me loooooove, no no no, noooooo, say you don’t need no diamond rings and I’ll be satisfied, tell me that you want the kind of things that money just can’t buy, I don’t care too much for money, money can’t buy me love, can’t buy me loooooove, loooooove, buy me loooooove, oh!

      2. Kaci

        Actually… We can. I am one. And so is my brother, and he’s gay. We’te actually very accepting, and the no drinking/smoking is about respect for your body and not doing things that hurt it. The coffee is personal choice ::sip:: but it actually makes me sleepy so I stay away from it.

        1. BranTheQuixotic

          Okay, so I guess you CAN, just don’t tell your bishop or they’ll excommunicate you!

          Although I hear the mormon church has reformed a bit on the gay issue and is stepping down on excommunicating people for being gay. Pretty sure you can be excommunicated for being in a gay sexual relationship still, though.

          It ALL depends on the individual Bishop, too. Some of them might be more interested in going against the official policy.

          I guess you won’t be excommunicated for coffee, either, but you definitely won’t be allowed in the temple. (Part of the yearly interview process for going to the temple involves the question “do you keep the Word of Wisdom” which covers, among ‘harder’ substances, coffee and tea.

          It’s harder to be a heretical member of the mormon church (by which I mean one who goes against official doctrines) than it is to be a heretical catholic or part of some other religion. But I suppose it is possible! And “mormon” churches other than the mainstream LDS do exist and a few of them are fairly liberal.

    2. Sailor_Arashi

      Sure they can!

      They’re just not allowed to!

  40. JA

    Crotchshot 🙂

  41. Kiggy

    I approve of today’s strip

  42. Ancestral Hamster

    At last Billie is useful. :p

  43. Dean

    I’ve probably seen too many episodes of CSI, but when I hear ‘no-one’s seen Person X in a while’ together with ‘clogged garbage chute’, my mind goes to a Place.

    Am I alone here?

  44. AsimovSideburns

    I want that shirt. I want that shirt so bad.

    I would teach Joyce 12 years of actual science for that shirt.

  45. John

    I think I have to assume that Billie got a powerup from drinking all that booze.

    Also, I don’t care what the poll said: Billie is the hottest.

    1. Kernanator

      Indeed.

      Though I still like Dina better overall.

      1. John

        Dina is the most adorkable.

        1. Kernanator

          I like Dina. She reminds me of myself.

          Wait. If Dina reminds me of myself, and I think Dina is the best character, does that make me narcissistic?

        2. Armchair Warrior

          Not if you equate ‘best character’ with ‘both most amusing and most believable as a human person’.

        3. Kernanator

          Oh, okay then. I was worried for a moment.

  46. Felix Featherstone

    wow…. I guess she does look good. She must try too hard or something to put you off normally…

  47. Charles RB

    Nah, you definitely need Ruth unless you’re going to kick the binbags EVERY DAY.

  48. acher4

    Wow…she is cool!

  49. Off Colfax

    Waidaminnit. 119 comments, and nobody has made the obvious Heroes reference yet?!? I am disappoint.

    Save the cheerleader, save the world!

  50. NinjaNick

    Great kick.

  51. Zaxares

    Zaxares Approves: +20

  52. ADHadh

    Nice.
    Somehow I wonder how come panels from the comic end up hotter than dedicated pin-ups ;P

    1. Heavensrun

      Context is everything.

  53. SpiritKamikaze

    Holy Moley! Billy… turned into Sal!

  54. Notebooked

    The first thing I thought of was Kim Possible.

    (Does that mean Walky’s her Ron Stoppable?)

  55. Gordon Blvd

    Wow………………did somepony just grow the fuck UP a little and start taking the first TRUE step to adulthood in that last panel? 🙂

    1. Heavensrun

      Probably not.

    2. Notebooked

      I don’t see how this is growing up — the speech is rooted in the same dislike for Ruth that she’s shown before and the actions are rooted in the need to throw away some booze. It’s just that she has the competence to fix this situation (and is making a srs face).

      (I guess “No one needs Ruth” could be taken as “No one needs someone who is a jerk with competence about certain matters”, but that’s reaching a bit. Especially since Billie could be counted as a jerk with competence about certain matters.)

      1. begbert2

        Her speech is also rooted in the belief that she’s still a cheerleader, so yeah.

  56. Animal

    I’m so damned turned on by panel 3.

  57. Deimir

    Yay, more fanservice! Keep it up, Willis.

  58. jsmith24855

    I’m worried about Ruth here. Sad that I am worried about a comic character.

  59. ArkhamTexan

    I completely agree with Billie. I need goddamn cheerleaders just after dinner myself. And after breakfast.

    Ah, the ideal days…

  60. Ducttape2021

    …There are no trash chutes in Read, just bins.

    1. David

      Then they must have removed them at some point. Oops.

  61. Tachroma

    Its like if Buffy killed all vampires ever and got bored so started drinking..

  62. Raoullefere

    Yes, I never knew until now how much I needed a cheerleader.

    Because doing that sort of thing myself does not work out well for me, unless you call breaking what you’re trying to make function ‘working out well.’

  63. Mo

    While you are building new shirts, I’m still waiting on a dark Butt-Taco.

  64. Portmaneau

    When in doubt

  65. Petre Pan

    Just gonna pop in to say I was thinking about Joyce and Mike and I still really want Joyce and Mike to get together because Joyce and Ethan is doomed by Willis (and 95% of the readership) but Joyce and Mike is comedy/suffering/character change GOLD.

    Saying that! On a comic that has nothing to do with those things!

    Yup.

    1. Notebooked

      That relationship could only end in disaster.
      So yeah, Mike would try it.
      (I mean, Joyce felt comfortable enough around Mike to invent him to chaperone a date — and due to Joyce’s slightly warped perception of life, she may read that as him being enthusiastic to ‘guard a lady’s honor’.)

      1. BranTheQuixotic

        I think Mike only enjoys other people suffering. Being in a relationship with someone as naive as Joyce would not be one-directional suffering; this much is certain.
        Joyce’s persistent obliviousness to his attempts at sarcasm and/or assholery would drive him up the wall, I think.

  66. Bookreading

    I totally didn’t notice that there was fanservice here. #reasonsimightbegay

  67. JustcallmeSoul

    the last pane makes me feel like there needs to be one more pane with her putting on sunglasses saying YEAHHHH!

  68. ProjectXa3

    CHEER-FU!

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

*

*

*

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.