162

Successfully
Posted on February 14, 2025 by David M Willis

162 thoughts on “Successfully”

  1. Charles Phipps

    “Anyway, don’t call me Jennifer because I have left behind all of the toxic people in my life.”

    “Oh, like who?”

    “Walky! I’m dating a mobster’s son now. By the way, did you know a bunch of us were kidnapped and held hostage by a religious terrorist?”

    1. Charles Phipps

      Err, Billie. Dammit.

      1. Thag Simmons

        Eh, give it a few months

        1. Proxiehunter

          Their time or our time?

        2. Thag Simmons

          I was thinking our time, but if that doesn’t pan out it’s good to have a plausible fallback option

    2. GholaHalleck

      “We haven’t talked much since he started dating a sad guy who looks like your brother though… I should make sure he’s still only spreading his wild gay oats and is getting ready to be straight again like I am now.”

      1. Daibhid C

        That would actually demonstrate more awareness of the situation than Jennifer has shown thus far.

    3. anon

      Wsas billie a part of the kidnapping? i know walky was there b/c the ‘i refuse to be traumatized by this ‘k inda line but i def would’ve remember billiefer raging and beating up someone the moment she got free lol

    4. Random832

      Her goal is to have no-one in her life more toxic than herself, and she’s working it from both ends.

  2. NGPZ

    Alice really did a PeaceOut.gif lol

    1. Cholma

      Is it *really* a “peace out” if she didn’t back out of doorway while exclaiming “WATER TRIBE!” ;p

    2. Theluxland

      Honestly, Alice, same.

  3. Doctor_Who

    When it comes to dodging bullets, Alice is realizing that she’s frigging Neo.

    1. Dara

      And is wondering if she should change dorms to keep it that way xD

      1. Reltzik

        I’m sure Roz would swap with her.

      2. Michael Steamweed

        In the RA office:
        “I need to change dorms.”
        “Now, in the middle of the semester? What’s the reason?”
        “Jennifer Billingsworth.”
        “Again? Dammit. Okay, let me get you the change form.”

        1. Gnomedeplume

          “This won’t take long, we have a keyboard shortcut: ctrl-B.”

    2. Thomas

      Naw, Alice shows way too many different expressions to justify a comparison to Keanu Reeves. Especially today.

    3. Tan

      If Alice had any doubts about how she left things with Jennifer last time, those doubts now reside in the core of the earth, with all digging equipment involved also separately buried.

    4. jeffepp

      “Oh, right. That’s why we broke up.”

  4. Doopyboop

    Oh Jennifer. After her dream/flashback this morning, I can only assume this is an anxiety induced case of terminal foot in mouth. I don’t blame Alice for trying to leave as quickly as possible.

    1. Coatl

      Her face is completely expressionless, but internally she says “I really liked you?”

      1. Sajuuk-Khar

        Happy Valentine’s Day, Alice

      2. Shorduie

        I’m pretty sure internally she is saying “Jesus fucking Christ”

        1. clif

          I’m waiting for her to say, “Sure I remember Asher, I’m dating him.” Then both go hunting Asher and find him making out with Ethan.

        2. Rose by Any other Name

          That would be beautiful. I fully support this idea.

      3. anon

        @Coatl: to me i would’ve read that expression as like “Wow i can’t believe i liked you” although i imagine there’d be some lingering emotions/feelings of gratitude for helping out with her unwanted pregnancy but otherwise it’s prolly best teh yboth move on/avoid each other

    2. Archieve

      Can’t tell if it’s foot in mouth or she’s deliberately saying the worst thing possible. She was just about to go to yell at Daisy for not giing her more credit, seems like after a series of self fails she’s just actively sabatoging her new image.

      1. Doopyboop

        I don’t think it is deliberate self-sabotage. Then again Jennifer does live and breathe self-sabotage… mainly, when put together with her dreaming of the car accident with Alice, then bursting out with ‘SUICIDE DEATH CULT HAHA’ reads like a very anxious and guilt-ridden sort of word vomit. She wasn’t prepared to see Alice or learn that they’re neighbors(ish?) so it’s like all the filters have gone out the window and she’s freaking out.

      2. anon

        @archieve: well let’s hope she doesn’t drag her along like “Hey give me proper work for the newspaper and i’ll hook you up with alice” i’m sure she wouldn’t avoid being offered

  5. Sirksome

    I guess I can call her Billie for this brief moment she’s choosing to go with that.

  6. Thag Simmons

    Jennifer, maybe not the best way to reintroduce yourself to someone who cut ties with you for being a drama hurricane.

    1. Charles Phipps

      I mean she cut ties with Asher for being too stable.

    2. Archieve

      She’s got to be in a self destructive mode right now.

      1. Thag Simmons

        Does she have another mode?

        1. Archieve

          sure, there was the pretentious “grown up” mode and then occasionally the genuinely helpful mode. We might not be seeing those for a while.

    3. DashWallkick

      Jennifer has already acknowledged, digested, and cast aside that part of herself long ago. Stop living in the past! This is new Jennifer, who broke up with Asher because he reminded her too much of that part of herself.

      1. Archieve

        I guess if Jennifer considers that part of herself to be the dork loving part since that’s why she broke up with Asher in her own words.

  7. AnonGrouch

    Yeaaaaaaaaah. I guess we are going with ‘none of the above’ and just letting this woman crash and burn herself even further.

  8. Sajuuk-Khar

    LOOK AT HER

    LOOK AT THIS SMOOTH SEDUCTRESS, ALICE

    AMAZING, RIGHT???

    1. CianM1301

      As smooth as a sea urchin on a bed of sandpaper.

  9. Effie

    Dumbing of Age Book 15: I Got Into An Alcohol-Fueled Suicide Pact Death Cult With My R.A.

    1. Aura

      Aww that’s the second comic in a row where someone’s beaten me to the punch 😛

    2. Michael Steamweed

      Dumbing of Age Book 15 (Bonus Features): Which Ended Successfully, By The Way

  10. JA

    Billie, stop while you’re still maybe above ground.

    1. pjeseb

      Billie, stop while you can still see that dim circle of light above you.

      1. jflb96

        Jennifer, stop while you’re still digging down

      2. Michael Steamweed

        Billingfer, you’re almost at the Earth’s core. Stop before you end up in the middle of the Pacific.

    2. Archieve

      While now that you ask her to stop she’s definitely going to go find radiah next.

      1. anonymsly

        Raidah would have zero patience, I think, since the Asher-shaped accessory to Jennifer is still missing in action. She was pretty clear about what we’d be required for Jennifer to remain in her airspace.

  11. SocietyPilled

    My younger self can relate to oversharing all my traumas in the hope that the person I’m talking to will throw me some life-changing dialogue like the start of a side-quest in a fucking video game.

    Ah Billiefer! Ah humanity!

  12. Dean

    Alice: “I have to go, my planet needs me.”

  13. NGPZ

    How punctual of Jennifer to remind us on Valentine’s Day of all days that single is sometimes better (:0)

    1. elebenty

      Ain’t that the truth.
      I always tell my kids “there are worse things than being alone.”

  14. DailyBrad

    Jennifer, I love you, but holy shit.

  15. Shakes

    Jennifer’s brain: Tell her you’re sober, had therapy and have your name on the front page of the newspaper you’re carrying.

    Billie’s mouth: I Got Into An Alcohol-Fueled Suicide Pact Death Cult With My R.A.

    1. Thag Simmons

      We’re gonna see a “D’oh!” next comic.

    2. DashWallkick

      With the same tone of voice as “Oh don’t worry, it’s not my blood,” she informs Alice that, “Oh don’t worry, that relationship is over!”

  16. Hazel

    Alice is thinking she made some damn good decisions these last few months.

  17. Mr. Random

    She really is a drama hurricane.

    1. Needfuldoer

      Category 5.

      1. Michael Steamweed

        NHC and NOAA gonna have to make a new category for her on the Saffir-Simpson 1-5 Hurricane Wind Scale. Maybe the Saffir-Simpson-Billingsworth 1-10 Hurricane Wind Scale.

        Never mind climate change; Billie change is the key driver for weather extremism.

  18. Justnobodyfqwl

    I need her so bad

  19. Coatl

    Yup, Alice’s face says it all, Jennifer better stop.

    1. Archieve

      It’s sad because this is the sort of image Jennifer wanted to leave behind but now it’s like she’s going no actually you were right about me.

      1. DashWallkick

        You could say that Jennifer is saying “This is me” and Billie is who she was yesterday.

        1. Archieve

          except there’s nothing about present Jennifer that’s any different as far as Alice can tell.

      2. anonymsly

        If Jennifer actually follows up in tomorrow’s (or next day’s given that tomorrow seems like it will be Asher debacle follow-up) strip with ‘you were right, but it had to get a LOT worse before I saw it too’ then that’s what will end this interaction on a better note than either of the last ones.

        But it’s Jennifer, when does she ever do the healthy thing?

  20. Charles Phipps

    The only viable strategy is for Jennifer to now break into her room like she planned to with Ruth.

    1. Tan

      I assume you’re referring to the most recent unsuccessful attempt at Halloween, but I would like to note for the record that Jennifer has successfully broken into Ruth’s room at least 4 times just off the top of my head (stealing back the cheerleader uniform, during the fire alarm, after the fight where Jennifer was trying to get Ruth to drink, and after the hospital visit from Ruth mixing alcohol with her antidepressants)

      1. thejeff

        Ruth gave her a key and taught her lockpicking precisely so she could do that.

        Alice hasn’t. It would be a much different story for her to break into Alice’s room.

        1. Charles Phipps

          Yes, that’s the joke.

        2. Taffy

          As the local Continuity Expert, uncontested and uncontroversial, I vaguely recall Billie teaching herself to pick locks.

  21. Sirksome

    This is for the best honestly. Any relationship with Alice, platonic, romantic, or none at all should start with complete, brutal, cringe inducing honesty. It’s easiest to go up when you start at rock bottom.

  22. BBCC

    I’m thinking she’s choosing not to remember how the last time she saw Alice ended.

    1. DashWallkick

      I would bet money Jennifer absolutely remembers but she’s still Jennifer so she’s going “Well I can’t let her see me weak, I need her to regret that she broke things off with me, so I’ll loudly inform her that I’m better now, NOT self destructive, and had a hot boyfriend I split up with so I’m conveniently single!”

      Seems like it’s working so far! Look at the regret on Alice’s face, any second now she’ll come crawling back.

      1. Archieve

        if that’s the plan she’d better hurry up to the good parts because Alice is trying to get away.

      2. BBCC

        That would make sense with how she thinks the world works.

        1. DashWallkick

          It’s what she told Walky to do.

    2. Bryy

      The last time she saw Alice, she chose not to remember how the last time she saw Alice ended.

  23. Dave Van Domelen

    Alice doesn’t want to go among mad people.

    1. StClair

      she can’t help it, they’re all mad here.

      1. Michael Steamweed

        Appropriate gravatar for that observation is appropriate.

    2. Jeff K!

      Dave, get back to the Narbonic Institute!

  24. Nono

    How familiar IS Alice with Asher?

    1. Thag Simmons

      I suspect we’re about to find out.

    2. Sirksome

      Alice seems like a smart cookie. I bet she doesn’t trust him.

  25. IntangibleMatter

    Update on the Toxic-yuri-ometer: The needle is flipping rapidly between levels seen before yesterday’s comic, and “extremely high”

  26. Chrissy

    Alice, excellent work gray rocking this situation. I hope she manages to escape soon.

  27. Schpoonman

    This is a harder narrative faceplant than the time Jennifer claimed she was a great judge of character and the comic immediately contradicted her with several blue flashbacks, including that moment.

  28. Jamie

    There are icebreakers, and then there’s Becky-style orbital bombardments of closets.

    Jennifer went for the latter.

  29. bwooom

    Cackling madly right now. Jennifer PLEASE keep fumbling.

    1. DashWallkick

      Over the course of these 15 years I have fully reversed on characters healing. I want Jennifer to get so so so much worse. Or at least hold in this exact mode until she’s burned every bridge there is.

  30. Charles Phipps

    I ship Alice and Jennifer hard.

    Not the least to kill any lingering Ruthlessness.

    1. Thag Simmons

      I think it’s dead Jim

    2. Archieve

      Jennifers doing what she can to keep that ship sunk.

      1. Michael Steamweed

        She seems hellbent on doing what she can to proactively sink any and all future ships.

    3. Sharizard

      I can’t deny a similar feeling, even though i know it’s so so SO not a good idea.

      I think it’s because the little we’ve seen of Alice makes me want to be happy and there was a time that being with Jennifer would have made her the happiest.

      But no, i think it’s too late now. Unless Jennifer goes through a hell of a lot of emotional development, apologizes like crazy and then spends some time rebuilding a positive friendship with Alice… only then do i think they have a shot.

  31. VolticEXE

    The 2nd-Hand Embarrassment is PALPABLE, it looks like Alice is one panel away from keeping up a façade & scrunching her fight so tight it never recovers.

  32. Tawnee

    Is this that “rizz” thing I hear the kids are using nowadays? Or at least, Jennifer’s version of it?

    p.s. she’s really cute in panel 2, if only I didn’t know how to read…

    1. Sajuuk-Khar

      Billie the Rizzler is back baybee

  33. Francoinblanco

    Easy Jennifer you almost lose your cool here

  34. Rabid Rabbit

    I love how they both have the same gray highlights in their hair, and yet Jennifer’s still manged to look like boozles.

  35. mindbleach

    Alice makes a series of good decisions.

  36. Laura

    Yup. Employer just denied my request for accommodations. Again. AND they terminated my voluntary leave benefits. Nobody else’s. Just mine. I didn’t know they could just single one person out for denial of a union benefit, when all other union members get to keep the same benefits except me.
    Federal funding cuts. Everybody’s gotta step up and earn their jobs, I guess.
    Bleahhh….

    Sorry, so sorry, I know that’s OT.

    …OK, here’s the tie-in. My employer is Alice and I’m Billifer… just way too much drama for them to be bothered with indulging.

    There. Fixed the comment.

    1. Yumi

      Damn, do you have a union rep you could talk to?

    2. anonymsly

      If it’s a union benefit, I don’t think they can just single you out. I agree with Yumi, talk to your union rep!

    3. Laura

      Thank you, Yumi and anonymsly. I did talk with the union rep this morning. She said the agency could just single out one person for selective termination of the benefit. I guess that’s what the union negotiated. (We don’t have any real bargaining power, since we’re prohibited by law from striking, and since the only result of rejecting a proposed contract is that we get to work without a contract.) So… that’s it, I guess.

      Next step, try for FMLA. Or something. We’ll figure it out. Somehow.

      Seriously, though, it’ll be OK.

      Ruth figured out a way to return to a functional state. So did Billifer. Even Joyce did. So can I. Better living through chemistry, for sure. There’s a scrip for everything.

      “Sí, se puede.” “Yes, we can.” “Tous ensemble, ouais!” “Ganbatte!” “La Lotta Continua!” “Drugi svet je moguć.” “Kujichagulia.” “Man ṭalaba alʻulā sahira allalyālī.”

      …And on and on… ;-}

  37. Zamperla

    smart instincts, Alice.

  38. Arianod

    Alice is like “Damn, I DID dodge a bullet, didn’t I”

    1. CianM1301

      She dodged the whole damn firing squad.

    2. Bryy

      She actually didn’t, since she ended up almost dying in the car crash.

      1. Michael Steamweed

        Ahh, but…
        *insert here appropriate ‘but did you die?’ ref

      2. Arianod

        “almost dying” is precisely what happens when you dodge a bullet ^^u

  39. Archieve

    I’m morbidly curious to hear how she will describe her relationship with Asher in this state.

  40. Derek

    it’s not a cult if there was no leader or religious (or quasi-religious) elements or hierarchies or indoctrination
    they did have substance abuse and the physical/mental violence-honeymoon cycle, I’ll give her that

    1. Tan

      They worshipped spite

  41. Acher4

    That second panel though.

    All that infodump.

    Alice’s face is just too real.

  42. Needfuldoer

    There haven’t been this many big red flags since the fall of the Soviet Union.

  43. Rabisch

    “In that moment, Alice understood that the only way to survive was run away as fast as she could!”

    1. anonymsly

      “She had already done so twice before, of course, but perhaps the third time would be the charm.”

  44. darkoneko

    yeah, i gotta go too

  45. Adept

    Smooth Billie. I do appreciate the honesty however.

  46. Buck Ripsnort

    Same ol’ Billie.

  47. Wilde

    I would like to look away now please

  48. TheFlamingonator

    Inner monologue, Jennifer, inner monologue.

    Also: is Alice wearing Blue Coral #2?

  49. Abdomino

    While I am pleased by every moment when Jennifer is brought to reality, I feel no need to see it.

    God, Willis writes a jackass really well.

  50. Charles Phipps

    Listen, Alice said she lives here.

    Amazi-Girl says, “I don’t live hereTM.”

    COINCIDENCE?

    1. Michael Steamweed

      (gasps) Why didn’t I see it before?!?

  51. CJ

    Jennifer, Billie, whoever: TMI for a first meeting after she dropped you out of her life for being a self-destructive disaster: https://www.dumbingofage.com/2014/comic/book-4/04-the-whiteboard-dong-bandit/dramahurricane/

  52. Mark

    In the middle panels, behind Alice’s blank expression, I’m hearing the Enterprise’s computer say “working….”

    1. StClair

      and the clacking of 1960s relays.

  53. AnonGrouch

    Not mentioning that lead her to going sober is the stupidest, most Jennifer era move in awhile. Although I guess chronologically quiet quitting her boyfriend wasn’t that long ago.

  54. Kyulen

    Jennifer’s not really helping her case here. Somehow I get the feeling this new information isn’t gonna change Alice’s views about her since the last time they talked.

  55. Michael Steamweed

    Panel 3: wut
    Panel 5: wut

  56. CianM1301

    Jennifer, for the love of God, throw away the shovel.

    1. Jeremiah

      But this hole is not nearly deep enough!

  57. TerribleTransit

    Honestly, as badly as Jennifer is handling this interaction, she could turn it around pretty easily if she starts with three of the most seductive words in the English language: “You were right”. If she admits that she WAS awful and self-destructive, but realized it and has been actively working to turn her life around? There’s probably a solid chance Alice would forgive her enough to at least be friends again. I mean I don’t think the illusion that Jennifer is doing well would last very long, but hey.

    1. Archieve

      I’d be more hopeful of this outcome if she was mentioning getting therapy and going sober instead of Asher. Sounds like she’s skipping over the good points in the timeline.

    2. thejeff

      Honestly probably best for everyone she bumped into Alice now and not earlier in the semester when she was more successfully pulling off the “settling down and growing up” posture.

      She might have fooled Alice for a bit and pulled her back in.

  58. Holly

    If Alice pulls a Sarah and gets Billifer an official intervention that’d be interesting to see.

  59. Achallenger

    Don’t you know if a cult only contains two people it’s traditionally called a relationship??

  60. anonymsly

    YEAH, Alice, you gotta go. Yikes, with ONE short story Billie/Jennifer has proved she is still the EXACT self-destructive person you fled from for your own safety.

    I wonder how much Alice is now thinking of Ruth as ‘that could have been me, oh god I’m so glad I ghosted’.

  61. Luminous Lead

    Keep running while you can Alice. The Drama Hurricane still blows like it did last decade. https://www.dumbingofage.com/2014/comic/book-4/04-the-whiteboard-dong-bandit/dramahurricane/

  62. Kammon

    Alice needs to be introduced to Daisy to help predict upcoming trends for the paper. Because damnit, Alice was entirely perceptive about predicting the Drama Hurricane here.

  63. thumb

    Alice doing all the math and projections and calculating the only successful escape.

  64. Sibre

    The relationship did end successfully, i.e. without a car crash. That was big for both of them.

  65. Joy

    I’m tired of the comments section treating Jennifer like a worse person than she is

    1. Taffy

      “The comments section” is so broad, though. It has a connotation of consensus. Like, who are you actually tired of seeing do that, specifically?

    2. HueSatLight

      you and me both

    3. Jeremiah

      I think people treat her exactly as much of a bad person as she is currently being.

      1. Sirksome

        I’m interested in how different people read interactions, because to me this isn’t Jennifer doing something “bad” this is just cringe which maybe incites a similar reaction that can put someone off, but not actually bad in an objectionable way.

        That being said if you can’t dunk on someone for being cringe what can you dunk on them for?

        1. Jeremiah

          I wasn’t speaking about this specific strip but her generally behavior lately.

    4. Sirksome

      I’m mostly confused by the reception. I thought the general consensus was that Alice and Billie interacting and potentially rekindling any form of relationship was bad because Jennifer is a drama hurricane. Yet the opinion seems to be that Billie should stop talking. Wouldn’t her alienating Alice so she continues to live her life away from Billie then be a good thing? This has been more polarized than I expected.

      1. Jeremiah

        It is mostly sympathy for Alice for having to listen to this. It is painful from here, imagine being right in front of it.

  66. Poyo

    J E N N I F E R ??????

  67. WAhydrohead

    Are Alice and Asher related?
    There is definitely a resemblance between them.

    1. anon

      not unless they’re distant relatives b/c their last names are diff (tho park is more ‘korean’ and i think alice might be chinese or a diff asian descent?)

      But i assume not bc i feel like unless it’s billiefer putting her foot in her mouth, being like “hey remember your own family member” is a bit weird to say if she’s not aware

  68. peng

    so real

  69. Alan in DC

    At what point during this encounter will Billifer go “HURK” again, like she did last time Alice was in her face?

  70. anon

    awkward but at least her lipstick looks great lol

  71. Steelbright

    Well, this one-woman trainwreck just keeps on wreckin’

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