Kazam
Posted on July 3, 2016 by David M Willis

431 thoughts on “Kazam”

  1. Ana Chronistic

    dang, if I’d have worn those in church

    …I’d’ve been naked, actually, after the “reveal”

    1. Ana Chronistic

      also our church had those but because the auditorium doubled as a church gym

      1. Ana Chronistic

        (re: alt-text)

      2. Thomas O.

        I know of a church in Dallas that converted their sanctuary INTO a gym, after they lost so many members over the years. The smaller chapel they had then became their main sanctuary. Eventually they sold the whole place and moved to another property.

    2. 3-I

      Well, that’s one way to stop a church social.

      1. Joseph

        Or start one!

        1. GreyDefender

          I like the way you think

  2. sailorcakes

    Good bye dress!!

    1. Wheelpath

      Lesbians have magical stripping powers, awesome

      1. foamy

        Clearly Becky is the Dovahkiin, complete with the ability to swap full sets of armour in seconds. :v

        1. Joe

          Lesbahiin.

      2. nothri

        No! Its not the power of being a lesbian! The power to strip lies in all of us!

      3. miados

        kill the witch! oh wait…… she’s a red head and super sweet. I will forgive the witch magic if you don’t break my fingers for calling you a witch. is that a deal becky?

      4. Harvey Janus

        I thought their magical stripping powers involved a Sailor Moon transformation.

        1. Slartibeast Button, BIA

          Becky rising into the air and changing in a blinding light with implied nudity would cause a lot of comment…

        2. Orion Fury

          [Insert Mildly Offensive Joke Here]

        3. Clif

          [Insert offended diatribe here]

          (and you probably didn’t know that diatribes could get offended.)

      5. Nightsbridge

        Amber has something she needs to admit to herself then.

        1. Clif

          Amber knows.

      6. HoneyThistle

        PFffttt….magical stripping powers…yeeeheeheeeheeeeee….

        Dammit, now there’s coffee down my front.

    2. TheAnonymousGuy

      Zordon always said too much pink energy was dangerous.
      https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gKxTbjNjf_Y

      1. Zamer

        Well Kirby and Majin Buu proved him right.

    3. Needfuldoer

      Carol was just going to burn the thing anyway.

  3. Stairmasternem

    This is basically what I do every day when I get home from work.

    1. SLICEY

      This is what I do every time I go swimming. Except I too am naked…. and i do it because Ari-fucking-zona and once my wet suit is off I’m 99% dry with only wet hair.

      1. Stairmasternem

        Yeah that sounds about right.

      2. Deanatay

        Yeah, you dry fast in the Arid Zona.

        1. David

          Good grief, the Pun Lord is at large again.

        2. ganymedeanoutlaw

          Is it really a pun if that’s literally what the name means?

        3. David

          It enjoys the joke or it gets the link again.

        4. ganymedeanoutlaw

          Well that’ll teach me to notice when comments have links in them.

        5. PumpkinCake

          That’s not actually what the name Arizona means. It’s an O’odham name meaning “small spring’.

        6. ganymedeanoutlaw

          Huh. It must be a common mistake since I’ve heard it a lot.

        7. SLICEY

          its more of a common joke as Arizona is a dry heat because it is severely arid due to its geographic location in the lee of two mountains (i.e. the rockies and the california mountains) so that even when its monsoon, which it is right now now, its like 0% humity. So Arizona is the Arid Zone but its not were the name is from. BTW i tend to swim at 9pm to 10 pm so that instant drying happens when there is no soon.

        8. David Alexander McDonald

          Of course, locals tend to say “It’s a dry heat” mockingly because this happens a lot during Tucson monsoons.

        9. maxyai

          My favorite episode of Wheel of Fortune was when they were in Arizona. the puzzle was mostly solved and the stupid Arizona native said “Bet it’s a dry hoet.” I’m sure they will never live that down.

        10. David

          Are you telling me that “arid zona” is literally a Manitu-damned O’odham pun? Good grief, I am devastated.

  4. AnvilPro

    I don’t think ruining Carol’s clothes will make her see your side any better Becky

    1. Boobloobloo

      #notherjob

      1. AUnicornNoOneAskedFor

        ^ This. It’s not the job of people who don’t fit a societal norm to be perfect little bastions of purity and sweetness. They’re allowed to have their personalities and STILL expect to be treated with the same respect you’d give a (in this case) hetero person because they’re a PERSON. They’re not required to EARN being treated like human beings.

        1. Darkoneko

          Not shredding people’s clothes ? seems like quite below being a lil bastion of purity.

          But hey, that “shaki~~m” was hilarious.

        2. Daisy

          This is the entire point of Carla as a trans ace. She’s unapologetic – for everything.

        3. ESM

          I feel like there’s a spectrum between “bastion of purity” and “destroying someone else’s clothes because you don’t like them”.

          Granted, the dress does not actually appear to be harmed, so maybe Becky removed it via magic, in which case that’s fine.

    2. T Campbell

      That boat seems to have already sailed.

      This would have been a more appropriate observation yesterday, but today’s strip kind of seals it: Joyce’s parents’ marriage is in SERIOUS freakin’ trouble, and I wouldn’t be surprised if the divorce gets announced before the end of the volume.

      1. Stairmasternem

        Ehhh I’ve seen my own parents bounce back from worse. I guess in the name of drama this could be the straw that breaks the camel’s back.

        1. MelanieWaffle

          Is your name based off of Fluttershy?

        2. Stairmasternem

          No but it has a weird conception, involving some guy in Canada, Resideng Evil 3, and my younger self having a terrible sense of humor.

        3. Flame_Warp

          A gist that confusing must be a good story. Elaborate.

        4. Stairmasternem

          I used Nemesis as an online name for a while. Eventually was informed about Resident Evil 3’s Nemesis who would only say STARS. I started using STAIRS as an odd greeting. Friend called me Stairmasternem once, I loved it and kept it. It’s unique enough that no new accounts typically have it. No numbers in it either, which is a plus for me.

      2. TexasDex

        I don’t know if I’d go that far, but I think you’re right about the hints. I wouldn’t read too much into the argument Joyce overheard, married people can have disagreements, but Mr. Brown’s comment that “I’d be happier if I were more corrupt or malleable” and his reaction to Joyce’s “What about Mom” in the following strip do suggest that there’s unhealthy friction in the Brown household.

      3. Adam Black

        T. Cambell, Willis-verse Narrative Expert, endorses my Divorce-Theory!!

        I first called it about 6 months ago when we first saw these preview drawings of Hank.
        And said it again when Joyce was called Home.
        And thought ‘ the Talks’ were going to be the Big D.

        If I’m wrong , at least I’m wrong with you.
        ( You can offer to script it. It would also be cool if Hank was a repressed bisexual, and comes out. )

    3. March

      That dress actually would somehow look more terrible on Carol than it did Becky, so Becky is frankly doing her a favor.

    4. JetstreamGW

      I’ve been kinda assuming that’s Joyce’s dress.

      1. JetstreamGW

        Also it doesn’t look like it was ripped or anything. Maybe Becks is just magic.

        1. Darkoneko

          Yes.

        2. Cerberus

          God answers lesbian prayers… and grants lesbian superpowers.

        3. Orion Fury

          Where have you been? Some distant mining colony?

    5. Bagge

      Dunno, a lot of her sides are more visible now.

      Specifically the RAD sides.

    6. Willoughby Chase

      Neither I or Becky give a toss about Carol.

      She’s been demonstrably rebarbative towards Becky, so I don’t see why Becky should go out of her way to appease Carol.

      1. David

        Because it is not her business to dissolve Joyce’s family. Joyce assured her that she’ll stick with her, so Becky is cementing decisions about Joyce’s life here that are not hers to make. Becky is in her right to care shit-all about Carol. But not in forcing Joyce’s hand. That shows an utter disregard for Joyce and Joyce’s right to make her own decisions regarding her life.

        1. Willoughby Chase

          Nah.

          Appeasing Carol is an exercise in pointlessness; Becky wore the dress, and still Carol tried to force her view of christianity on her. Should Becky have appeased her further?

          Hank is cementing those decisions, and that started from the time Joyce went to college and made *her* decisions including that of siding with Becky in spite of Carol.

          Becky is merely the catalyst that set the ball rolling. Could Becky have done differently? Well, I suppose she could stop being gay. Joyce could have stopped being her friend.

          Joyce has agency. Joyce made her decisions, no “forcing” involved.

        2. ESM

          It’s not “appeasement” to not destroy someone else’s property for no reason.

          Should Becky go burn Carol’s house down while she’s in the neighborhood? Why is one okay and not the other? Is it because houses are more expensive than fancy dreseses? Should Becky slash Carol’s tires then? That’s about the same cost.

          But hey, Carol’s a monster, right? She has no rights at all! That’s totally not crazy rapist logic!

        3. thejeff

          Hyperbole much?

          Becky is the worst ever! She destroyed a dress!

          That she was being forced to wear and that was symbolic of much of the hell she’s had to endure this weekend. But no matter. Just proves how horrible she is.

          If it makes you feel better, you might as well assume it’s magic and the dress is fine, since there’s no way she could actually tear it off like that, with the top and sleeves and belt all intact.
          Or maybe it was just exaggerated for comedic effect? Nah. Willis has never had his characters do anything unrealistic before.

        4. ESM

          I don’t care about Becky or Carol. They’re fictional.

          I care about how the last comic said some people are “monsters” and this comic and its comment section are saying property crimes are laudable because victim’s a “monster”. This is a really dangerous train of thought.

        5. Zeriel

          I think honestly the thing that mitigates what you’re getting at (and I do totally agree with you in the sense that “describing actual humans as monsters” is not a good road to be on) is that the dress in particular is something that Becky didn’t particularly choose that’s part and parcel of how people like Carol in general oppress people like Becky in general.

          It wouldn’t be acceptable at all in that context to burn down Carol’s house or slash her tires, because neither of those things are part of the way Becky is being pushed away from herself. It wouldn’t even be acceptable to destroy a dress that was in Carol’s closet. Only the fact that the dress was forced on Becky in some way renders it acceptable to destroy the dress. (see 15 June 2016’s comic, in which Becky implies (equally unrealistically to the destruction) that Carol literally forced her to wear it via ambush-dressing and outright says she’s uncomfortable.)

        6. Adam Black

          Becky is being nice!
          You put a dress on me , against my will: I promise you,
          there will be a lot more than property crimes.

          The lesson here is : Keep your hands to yourself, and there won’t be any
          unwanted problems.

          But if it helps you ignore your own lack of recognition of personal boundaries,
          The comment section is just filled with devient property criminals.
          We probably litter. And Tag businesses with Social Justice Slogans.
          We know what those Andre signs really meant. We torrent TV shows. We are the worst.
          Feel better?

          In otherwords have healthy boundaries. Do you not understand dressing people in your clothes without permission is creepy and wrong?

  5. Kitschensyngk

    You may want to move that ETD up a bit.

  6. Rosicrucian

    Becky’s got skills.

  7. Maxy

    This is pretty much the reverse of how Joyce-mom got the dress on her in the first place, right?

  8. inqntrol

    Well, that’s one way to change clothes quickly.

  9. Cattleprod

    “How did you know I’d survive that?” “Oh, you’re still alive.” – some show or movie I don’t remember well enough to remember the title of.

    1. Achallenger

      im gonna say anime, but ive been on a new show binge and they kinda blurred. maybe blue exorcist or devil is a part timer/

    2. Silamy

      Wasn’t that the Avengers?

    3. Stairmasternem

      Probably because I’ve been on and endless binge loop of it, it sounds like something Reese would say to Fusco in Person of Interest.

    4. Ana Chronistic

      I was gonna Do the Google, but the only significant result is this page (already!)

    5. Cholma

      Hudson Hawk: You’re supposed to be all cracked up at the bottom of the hill!
      Tommy Five-Tone: Airbags! Can you fucking believe it?
      Anna: You’re supposed to be blown up into fiery chunks of flesh!
      Tommy Five-Tone: Sprinkler system set up in the back! Can you *fucking* believe it?

      1. LynziGraye

        Just when I think Willis’ commenters can’t get any better, they prove me wrong.

        +1 Internet for you for the Hudson Hawk reference. 🙂

        1. SgtWadeyWilson

          Bruce Willis at his best… with Moonlighting and Die Hard in second and third, respectively.

          Add another +1 to that.

        2. JustCheetoDust

          I never would’ve believed Da Vinci to be a Cadillac man until Richard Grant convinced me otherwise.

      2. Paul1963

        Me, in the theater: “No, I cannot fucking believe airbags in the back seat of a 1955 Imperial, you dumbass screenwriter, director and everyone else involved in letting that line make it into the finished film! Or the sprinkler system, which isn’t even a thing!”

        1. DSL

          Alone, I take it.

    6. Palamdrone

      I feel like that’s from a Dragonball Abridged episode.

      1. Seibertronian

        I think you are thinking of when Goku arrived back from space claiming that he thought everyone, or at least Yamcha, would have been Yamcha’d by Cyborg Frieza, after which he turns around nonchalantly and says hi to Yamcha.

    7. David Alexander McDonald

      http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/HowDidYouKnowIDidnt because I want to curse everybody with a weekend wasted in the bowels of TV Tropes (You Can Never Read Just One Entry.)

      1. magicallady

        you monster

      2. Stairmasternem

        The other day I discovered Dumbing of Age! Had a TV Tropes entry. It was not a productive day.

    8. Annamal

      MIB 2 “It grows back????”

    9. EvilMidnightLurker

      Aladdin sequel movie version: “I thought you said genies couldn’t kill anyone!”

      Genie Jafar: “You’d be surprised what you can live through.”

      1. Gecko

        Okay, I never watched the sequel, and probably won’t, but that was genuinely funny.

  10. Hoboturtle

    Is it weird that I feel tempted to find one of my least liked shirts and see if I can tear it off myself?

    1. Achallenger

      protip: grab an icepack first. i dunno how specifically, but ur gona hurt urself. i cut my kneck once, also pulled a chest mujscle, seperate disrobing accidents. truly i live an adventuras life

      1. JetstreamGW

        That is some amazing typo game.

    2. Silamy

      I’d advise against doing this… I’ve had clothing ripped off before, and it was pretty painful, even though the shirt was kinda flimsy. Then again, I was neither the one pulling the shirt off me nor was I prepared, so….

      1. Leorale

        The trick is to be covered in spikes first. Like, if you’re a porcupine, you’re set.

        1. Silamy

          Becky is a hedgehog?

        2. JetstreamGW

          WAY past cool.

        3. Darkoneko

          Gotta go fast

        4. pyrpyr

          She has the hair for it, if she combs it back instead of to the side

      2. Lovely Monsters

        I feel like there’s a story here . . .

    3. March

      This, as always with drawn clothing exaggerated, BUT

      Tee shirts are actually sewn in a pattern that has the stitching in such a strong place that makes this impossible (for obvious practical reasons, seeing as tee shirts were meant to be shirts for people performing physical labor) whereas some dress shirts have a joining in the middle of the back and along the shoulders. This is to help accommodate different shoulder widths with off-the-rack stuff, but it also weakens the actual shirt.

      If you have a proper dress shirt you don’t care about, flex in a pose that stresses your upper body (Hulk out, basically), and you’ll feel the give as the seams stretch across your back.

      1. Moon

        I actually pulled a Fat Man in a little coat scene on stage in high school… somehow I had bulked up between first dress rehearsals and closing night and ended up tearing the back of my jacket during my murder scene… it actually worked out really well but i was sad, because I really liked my jacket and was planning on wearing it to the after party

        1. AgentKeen

          From my high school experience, you should’ve worn it anyhow, as a trophy.

        2. Moon

          I would have… except since the murder scene was rather physical, it wasn’t wearable after the fact lol. God i loved that play though! I really miss my victim/ex girlfriend lol. We actually broke up that day so i think our murder scene was a bit more involved overall.

        3. AGV

          That had to be dramatic

        4. Ana Chronistic

          all these Pennies after Jason, talking about murder-breakups, eerie

    4. Ana Chronistic

      actual tear-away clothing either has Velcro in strategic places or loose stitching/cuts

      so after you break like a LOT of the seams, go for it!

  11. Stephen R. Bierce

    Who wears Short Shorts? (I don’t but don’t mind those who do.)

    1. Uncertainty Moth

      *plays Flying Purple People Eater on the hacked Muzak*

      1. zoelogical

        sure looks strange to me!!

    2. Jason

      Nair users.

    3. Slartibeast Button, BIA

      Carla, I think. And maybe Sal?

      1. Cerberus

        Malaya has also worn short shorts.

  12. D.J.

    And the flowers are still standing!

    1. Dana

      I’m a little fuzzy on this whole good/bad thing.

      1. Sheason

        I love this plan! I’m excited to be a part of it!

        1. Deanatay

          yes, it’s true! This man… has no dick.

        2. Firedaws

          “We should split up.”
          “Yeah, we’ll do more damage that way.”

  13. John

    I appreciate Becky’s magic trick.

    1. Stephen R. Bierce

      Willis is probably friends with Henry Winkler on Facebook.
      Yes, you CAN be friends with Henry Winkler on Facebook. Don’t look at me like that.

      1. John

        I can’t. I’m not on Facebook.

        Though the local police department posted a picture of me on their Facebook a few days ago.

        1. NelC

          How much is the reward? Asking for a friend.

        2. John

          Nah, they just thought I was so cool that they wanted a selfie with me.

  14. CandidCanid

    I’d like to know how her arms magically phased through the sleeves. Why does Carol own clothing of this sort, I cannot fathom.

    1. inqntrol

      Everyone has their own secrets, including Carol.

    2. Mollyscribbles

      Arms and neck; the back of the neck is intact, too.

      1. David

        You don’t know that. However, given the overall look of the parts we can see, Becky has either swapped the dress for a hologram or had pilfered a straight razor from the bathroom previously and found the time and way to get to work on the dress somehow.

        No wait, I got it: superunglue.

    3. caesaria82

      I think that’s the point, they didn’t? She tore it off with brute force? Or am I interpreting this wrong lol.

    4. Jeudi Violist

      It’s ’cause being a redhead gives you superpowers.

    5. zoelogical

      she’s been saving it since the seventies

    6. Wizard

      She didn’t actually rip off the dress, she used her lesbian powers to teleport out of it.
      (Lesbians can teleport, right?)

      1. Darkoneko

        Yes.

      2. Cerberus

        No… *nervous eye glances* *sudden disappearance with a *vorp* sound*

        1. Ed Rhodes

          Teleporters make a “bampf” sound, I thought everyone knew that!

        2. Roborat

          I thought it was “ka-poit”.

    7. Moon

      You see, the soul actually resides in the arms and that is what makes arms tactile to non-living, church-going things. Since red-heads obviously don’t have souls she phased through it.

    8. Lovely Monsters

      Oh, that’s no big deal. If she’d been holding a gun, though, it would have gotten caught in the fabric. She can’t form complex machinery.

    9. Slartibeast Button, BIA

      Becky is a T-1000 made out of liquid metal, so this stuff is easy.

      Part of the ongoing struggle to prevent the birth of Resistance leader Joshua Seigal.

    10. ESM

      Ironically, Carol is a witch.

  15. Kindra

    Of course Becky was wearing comfortable clothes under that dress, and of course she was out of it at the first opportunity. Go Becky!

    1. Stairmasternem

      Hah, Joyce did the same thing with her date with Joe. At least on the pants department.

      1. Silamy

        There are people who DON’T automatically wear pants under dresses?

        1. Stairmasternem

          There’s a poll that’d be awkward to carry out.

        2. Silamy

          I’m sure there are plenty of people using subways who already have.

        3. David

          It’s quite natural to pant under dis dress.

        4. Slartibeast Button, BIA

          Oddly enough, last night two women were talking about how they always wore shorts under skirts in school so they could play on the monkey bars.

        5. trlkly

          Seeing as there was a thing in my high school about not wearing underwear under the concert band uniforms–yes.

    2. Pat

      She was forcibly dressed. It makes sense.

  16. Dana

    It seems Hank is done trying to put off the inevitable confrontation with Carol.

    1. Stairmasternem

      I think they had their confrontation the day before. Win or lose, clearly Habk is going with keeping Joyce in College.

      1. Dana

        That’s not how I read it, but the only facial expressions we saw were Joyce’s while listening in, and she’s out of her depth the moment her parents aren’t a united front.

        1. Stairmasternem

          Yeah, Joyce left so we do not see how the whole thing ended. Hank could’ve convinced Carol to let the kids go back, but then Joyce took the car so she could’ve used that to justify keeping her home instead. Hank covered and prevented this justification.

          It’s moot anyways since Hank’s sending them off it seems.

    2. zoelogical

      not necessarily; he’s talking to some other dude about taking his wife home instead of to his wife about catching a ride.

      1. Silamy

        That could potentially be considered courteous -making sure potential ride knows they’ll be needed for transport instead of (and maybe in addition to -he could’ve been planning to also tell Carol once he got up to her and Becky) telling his wife she was on her own or, worse, just disappearing with Joyce, Becky, and the car and leaving her stranded and unable to find them until it was too late to find a ride…. still, I’m inclined to actually guess with zoelogical here about Hank avoiding conflict, or at least trying to right now. (but maybe because he doesn’t want to spark a sh*tstorm in church during services, not because conflict-avoidance)

        1. zoelogical

          it could go either way, yeah, but we know that carol doesn’t want joyce to go back to college, and leaving in the middle of church is, i feel, sort of implicitly going behind her back. it is a bit of a jump to assume that he’s not going to go talk to her after this but idk i can’t see how that wouldn’t be difficult since they’re pretty definitely not on the same page

      2. Benwhoski

        The impression I have here is that Hank is taking the girls back to school suddenly and quietly in order to spare Joyce the confrontation with Carol, not to avoid it himself.

    3. TheAnonymousGuy

      or just spare Joyce from being caught in the middle

      1. thejeff

        He may also be thinking the confrontation will be less explosive without Joyce present.

  17. Rodimiss

    That’s way more dramatic than getting superglue on it, but hey, might as well go for it. Not much left to lose at this church.

  18. caesaria82

    Becky’s super strength confirmed? I mean, if that was not a tear-away dress, then that must’ve required some major physical force. Or just anger/frustration/secret lesbian superpowers.

    1. Cephalo the Pod

      The dress looks old. It probably is old.

    2. inqntrol

      Next strip: ” BECKY SMASH!”

    3. Dana

      You can be gay if we get to use your gay powers.

      1. Opus the Poet

        Your link is busted.

        1. Dana

          Gay powers. Not sure what went wrong.

        2. Leorale

          Pretty sure it was to here: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GdqdIvgCKzA

          SMBC is funny.

      2. user 18

        Wait, powers is gay now too?

        1. Slartibeast Button, BIA

          Old News: http://pvponline.com/comic/2011/07/13/the-secret-of-him

    4. timemonkey

      Get harassed for a day or two solid, pent up anger can make you hella strong.

    5. Silamy

      I mean… women’s clothing, especially formal-ish clothing, does tend to be made of lighter/flimsier fabrics -I’m a bit confused about why the dress tore down the back, rather than the front where she was pulling, though.

      1. Needfuldoer

        There’s usually a zipper or seam down the middle of the back.

  19. Cephalo the Pod

    Okay so Hank has completely given up on convincing Carol to calm down about Becky and Joyce.

    1. Pat

      Sometimes just leaving quietly is the best solution.

      1. JustCheetoDust

        And then there’s times when such a departure can no longer happen quietly.

      2. Stairmasternem

        Or doing the Ozymandias way of revealing.

        “You’re not bringing those girls back to college?”

        “My dear, I did that twenty minutes ago.”

        1. Lovely Monsters

          I was expecting “Look on my works, ye mighty, and despair.” Took me a minute to catch up.

        2. Brute

          same

        3. David

          You can let your king of kings hang out until he despairs.

      3. Mom

        Leave quietly? Becky will likely give the church a big birdie on departure than leave quietly.

        1. Darkoneko

          Probably not. She would likely find it to be disrespectful to God.

        2. JustCheetoDust

          That’s more of a Morty Smith move.

      4. Silamy

        Becky…. rather intentionally has set “not quietly” as one of her defining personality traits, though.

    2. Stairmasternem

      He probably won the argument the day before.

      1. Undrave

        He’s the husband, according to their rules Carol should just do whatever he says anyway.

        1. David

          Unless he abandons faith in which case she should murder him in cold blood and dance about his grave singing Hallalujah.

        2. Needfuldoer

          Ah, but if you tell that to the youth these days, they’ll never believe you.

        3. Slartibeast Button, BIA

          I was happier then and I had nothing!

        4. David

          You were lucky to have a host. We had to suck on a piece of damp cloth.

  20. Sporky

    You know, when it’s just the shoes I think pink suits her.

  21. Achallenger

    new life goal; to casually she-hulk out of church clothes at church

  22. MorningDuck

    Kazam, indeed, Becky

  23. buddy

    today formally cemented my gayness for becky. thank you very much.

    1. Spaz

      I just realized that I cannot be gay for becky.

      Makes me sad.

      I can only be straight for becky. Stupid genetics.

  24. Cephalo the Pod

    Took me a minute to figure our what looked so different about Becky. Then realized that up until now she’s worn warmer clothing.

  25. 21Kable

    Wow, either that dress is really weak or Becky is freaking strong, rip a whole dress off with one pull, teach me oh wise one
    😛

  26. Shiro

    Thank god, officially ending the awkward and dangerous portion of this weekend.

    One hopes.

    1. Stairmasternem

      Plenty of awkward to still get through at college though.

    2. Leorale

      Hahahah, it is to laugh!

    3. David M Willis

      sure

      1. Tomas

        –Spoken through steepled fingers of evil.

      2. Svata

        Oh. Oh NO.

      3. Xelgaex

        Willis is just “I have not yet begun weekend!”

        1. David

          Arguably, the poisoning of heaven is already in progress here, so the miðgarðsormr’s part has already commenced. Wait, “weekend”. I thought “worldend”. Never mind.

        2. Orion Fury

          Come on now, do you even weekend?

      4. Shiro

        …something about those double thumbs up makes me hesitant to trust your sincerity here :c

        1. Clif

          Most ominous sure ever.

      5. Cerberus

        Oh. OH. Oh dear… 🙁

      6. Slartibeast Button, BIA

        Now I am picturing one of those “desperate journey though hostile territory” movies about the perilous trip back to the legendary paradise of Bl’m’tun.

    4. inqntrol

      In Doa hope is just an illusion.

  27. Bicycle Bill

    “A tear-a-what-now?”

    Kudos, Willis, for not trying to make it into a gag involving Terre Haute.

    1. Jackson

      The dress is Terre Haute couture.

      NO REGRETS NO REGRETS

    2. HeroHog

      Every time I read that frame I chuckle like a little kid! I LOVE IT!

    3. DSL

      I heard locals pronounce it “terhoot.”

  28. Saaaam

    Looking forward to the Slipshine/Yotomoe comic of Powers and Mrs. Brown bangin’

    1. Orion Fury

      Probably just end up being a pic of Carol eating cheese.

      1. Nathan Blood

        that made me laugh more then it should have

    2. Spencer

      I can’t believe Yotomoe didn’t get right on drawing a cute girl ripping her clothes off.

  29. March

    Thank gawd, that dress looked like some kind of penance on her.

    1. Leorale

      It was a terrible dress (at least on Becky). I don’t know why Carol owns a dress in Becky’s size, but she’s doing it a favour by destroying it now.

      1. inqntrol

        Indeed, Carol can use it to clean windows.

        1. David

          Ah that’s how you do it. I was wondering about that stupid Windows 10 install.

        2. GLaDOS

          Now it’s a job that just suits me
          A window cleaner you would be
          If you could see what I can see
          When I’m cleaning windows…

      2. trlkly

        Easy. Go back to the beginning of the comic. Realize how much Becky looked like Carol….

  30. a4lbi

    Just when I thought I couldn’t love Becky more!

  31. timemonkey

    I’d have tossed the remains at Carol myself.

    1. Random832

      I suspect that Carol not immediately being informed that they’re leaving is an important part of Hank’s plan here.

      1. Random832

        Obviously there is going to be a confrontation, but he wants Joyce and Becky to be 170 miles away from it.

        1. Nathan Blood

          i kind of get the feeling that once hank and carol have there inevitable argument thats shes gonna go to the college and try to rip joyce from it

    2. newllend(henryvolt)

      I’m disappointed that she didn’t throw some of the clothes she was wearing back at me though.

  32. Leorale

    I’ma take a moment to enjoy Hank’s speechless stare in the last two panels.

  33. Lordess of Madness

    Too bad my school dresses are made out of tougher stuff…

    1. Spaz

      did…..did you just try this after you read the comic?

      1. Darkoneko

        Yes.

  34. Dara

    YES KAZAM! 😀

  35. StClair

    “Wait, wait, wait! I’ve always wanted to do this. And…”
    *yank*
    “The flowers are still standing!”

  36. Teddae

    hank’s really giving us a huge breath of fresh air, like damn.

    also, holy crap becky you’re friggin amazing *swoon*

    1. Stairmasternem

      For basically being the only re occurring make Christian character, he does a good job at being empathetic.

      Yellow pants doesn’t count since I’m sure this is the last of him for a while. Unless he too gets mirdered to inspire genocide.

      1. Darkoneko

        Danny is, isn’t he ?

        1. Stairmasternem

          Unsure on that. Previous continuity he probably was. This one it really hasn’t come up. My bet is atheist though.

        2. Regalli

          Previous continuity Danny DEFINITELY was – he ended up being a pastor (and grew a beard, it was odd). I’m pretty sure this continuity he’s still defaulting to Christian and possibly even a more fundamentalist church, but not a really active member the way the Brown family is.

        3. Spencer

          Danny is still nominally Christian, per word of Willis, and also considers going to Church something worth doing.

        4. Stairmasternem

          I guess that’s a confirmation then?

        5. Stairmasternem

          In the previous, sure when his personality was to be a wet blanket and his childhood friend was an atheist.

          This continuity he dated an atheist, is mainly conflicted about being bisexual due to ignorance not belief, and had no qualms with premarital hanky lanky, per Joyce’s words.

          If he is a Christian, it’d be in the loose way Billie is one.

        6. Stairmasternem

          …his childhood friend was Mary. Not sure how that came out as atheist.

  37. Ross

    This is so unfair, how can she do that, I can barely make ACTUAL tear-away dresses work correctly.

    1. Ross

      I am an actor not a stripper

      1. Bicycle Bill

        SURRRRRE you are……

      2. Chris Phoenix

        “Not that there’s anything wrong with being a stripper, of course”

      3. magicallady

        is the tear away supposed to be in a whipping motion?

  38. Time Sage

    …I’m surprised Joyce knows what a Tearaway dress is

    1. Xelgaex

      Same tbh. Like I was thinking, “surely there must be other uses for the items than what is immediately springing to mind, but darned if I can readily think of one.” Maybe a sudden reveal that the worldly friend is in fact literally Satan in a church play or something?

    2. David

      All part of whiteboard ding dong research.

    3. newllend(henryvolt)

      Joyce is sheltered, not uneducated.

    4. Slartibeast Button, BIA

      Another reason she stopped googling unfamiliar words and phrases.

  39. Plasma Mongoose

    They have Christ-o-grams now? CRIKEY!

  40. Tenchan

    Becky ripped off that dress…LIKE A BOSS!!!

  41. AeroQC

    Joyce: Tearaway dress
    Becky: Tear-a-what-now?
    Dina: Pterodactyl

    1. motorfirebox

      +10 internets

    2. Deanatay

      Tear-a-what = Terawatt = 10^12 watts = Becky’s power level

      1. Orion Fury

        Really? I was figuring 1.21 gigawatts.

  42. Victor Riley

    Oh… Hank is taking them back without Carol’s knowledge? This will make that argument a little louder later when he gets home.

    1. Silamy

      Or right now. She IS sitting next to Becky -unless Becky was heading out to find Joyce and make sure she’s okay?

    2. Will

      A Very Bad argument without Joyce (and Becky) around to hear is better than a Slightly Less Bad argument with the girls still around.

      1. thejeff

        Which might well turn into an Even Worse argument once Joyce joins in.

  43. Random832

    Any article of clothing is a tearaway if you pull hard enough.

    1. David

      Did did you rip off that chain mail? Shouldn’t the arm be on the other side of it?

      1. John

        I actually have trouble with my mail ripping from the force of my movements, under my sword arm especially.

        1. Lovely Monsters

          I think if you need a sword to open your mail, you’re probably doing it wrong.

        2. Darkoneko

          I have a very small katana as a letter opener.

    2. motorfirebox

      I was about to post the same thing. Great Joes think alike.

      1. magicallady

        tis only a flesh wound!

  44. Rukduk

    Me a couple minutes ago: Whew, finally finished that four day drive from California to Michigan, maybe I should catch up on DoA.
    Me now: Oh, hell yes.

  45. cmd1095

    Hank’s reaction of “wtf how did she just…” is the greatest

    1. Silamy

      Hank’s reaction is most of the comments right now, I think.

    2. Orion Fury

      “I’ve been doing it wrong all along…”

  46. Bunny

    Hank is about to make his stand with Carol. He’s getting Joyce and Becky out of Carols reach to prevent them from being hostages or collateral damage in that conflict. He’s a “no quarter” kind of man. He’s just realized that not only is this community not his kind of people, but they might just turn cannibal when he speaks up. The problem is, Carol might decide he’s not Her kind of people. He realizes this, and it makes him sad. But he wouldn’t be true to himself if he didn’t speak truth. Hank’s got some pain ahead. Rock on, Hank!

    Also, Becky is my spirit animal

    1. ischemgeek

      Hank strikes me as being more like Jocelyne than like Joyce (as much as he sees himself in Joyce) – he picks his battles, but when he’s decided a battle is worth fighting, look out because all fucking hell is about to break loose.

      Joyce, on the other hand, doesn’t really pick her battles – it could be she’s similar to Carol in that she has to speak out against everything that bugs her, or it could be she is what Jocelyne and Hank were before they learned how to preserve mental health through strategic battle-picking.

  47. AgentKeen

    Well.
    Maybe they won’t be talking about the hair now?

  48. zmm

    Firstly.. impressive strength to do that.
    secondly.. she just tore up someone else’s dress.. sure not the most pleasant of people–but someone who is letting you stay at her house and such… and past the unpleasant mother, the dad is fairly nice and thats causing him problems..
    soo.. Zannen desu ne

    1. Rutee

      Going by her (admittedly, likely-exaggerated) telling of it, Becky never consented to this dress in the first place.

      1. David

        Non-consensual dressing sounds like a disagreeable condiment.

        1. JustCheetoDust

          Or the result of Krieger’s actions as the “pita predator” in the Archer pilot.

  49. Mia

    I love everything about Becky. I aspire to be her.

  50. Tacos

    Becky’s been wanting to do that since she was given that dress hasn’t she?

    1. magicallady

      yes!

  51. Speedball

    “It was brisk. I dressed in layers.”

    1. Orion Fury

      I think it’s obvious that Carol wouldn’t approve.

  52. Brasca1

    Now that’s how you exit a church!

    1. inqntrol

      Yep, she brought down the house. Or should I say, church?

    2. Bagge

      And not even a single table flipped.

      1. Orion Fury

        They haven’t left yet, maybe she’ll get one on the way out.

  53. The Pink Bunny

    Becky’s face in panel 4 just screams “I’ve always wanted to try this!”

    I love it

  54. David

    An exorcism is the last thing Hank has time for right now.

    1. bryy

      And that’s exactly what is coming if he does not get the kids out of there.

      1. Trousle Undrhil

        “kids” … more like young adults.

        1. Orion Fury

          It’s all relative.

  55. miz

    Okay, forget the superhero, THIS is the first unrealistic thing I’ve ever seen in this comic. Becky is a dang wizard.

  56. grantimusmax

    Becky McIntyre will be played this evening by Bender Bending Rodriguez.

    1. Orion Fury

      And if you don’t like it you can kiss her shiny freckled ass.

  57. Russ

    Becky is way fucking stronger than we all thought.

    1. Russ

      Also no way is Hank sneaking them out of church without someone giving him shit

      1. fogel

        Like Carol? Why does this feel like the penultimate scene of The Graduate?

        1. Willoughby Chase

          I’m hoping for the cross jammed in the door.

    2. Will

      In more than one way.

  58. Lunias

    The church I used to go to with my family had an auditorium that doubled as a gymnasium. Are you sure this doesn’t take place in Ohio? Maybe it’s just the proximity?

    1. Schpoonman

      Don’t Ohio and Indiana sit on either side of Illinois?

      1. DonDueed

        Nope, Indiana is west of Ohio, Illinois is west of Indiana. Maybe you’re thinking of Iowa, which is west of Illinois.

  59. Reltzik

    ….

    Okay, posting rules. Is this one of these situations where we ARE allowed to shout “take it off!”, or not?

    1. David

      You are insatiable.

    2. 3-I

      woooo~

    3. magicallady

      i wouldnt

    4. Orion Fury

      That’s probably the only acceptable way to post it.

  60. magicallady

    goodbye ugly pink dress

  61. Showler

    That dress is ripped. And so is Becky.

    1. Bagge

      applauds

  62. Liminality

    holy crap… how strong is she? Or how fragile was that dress?

  63. BenRG

    Something tells me that the general response of the congregation to Becky’s stunt is a sort of shocked amazement. “Whoa…! How did she do that…?” “It’s like that stunt with the table cloth…!”

    Meanwhile… What the hell is going on? Why does Hank suddenly want to be out of that place now rather than later? Something is up; something to which Joyce and Becky are invited but Carol is not. I suspect that at least one more strange or unexpected revelation awaits Joyce this weekend.

    1. bryy

      Hank wants to get out of there before Carol can get control/authority of the situation and keep Becky and Joyce there. He knows that it is unhealthy for the kids and that the longer they stay there (especially Becky), the higher the percentage for something like an Intervention rises.

      Carol ALREADY has been shown to be trying to “re-convert” Becky (“If you think there’s something you need forgiveness for”). Carol gives exactly ZERO shits that Becky’s dad tried to kidnap her at gunpoint.

      1. Needfuldoer

        That’s because she agrees with his motivation of “saving her” from the magical man in the ground and bringing ber back to the magical man in the sky. Methodology is irrelevant, only results matter.

    2. magicallady

      maybe two!

    3. Guairdean Beatha

      The reaction could be something like “Behold, she has revealed herself and all of her freckles are in threes like the Holy Trinity! She is the chosen one!” OK, probably not.

    4. Heavensrun

      I also suspect he might be planning to smuggle them back to school before Carol has a chance to reopen the argument that Joyce shouldn’t go back at all. Weekend is almost over after all.

  64. bryy

    So apparently I will not be getting my Carol/Joyce confrontation in this arc.
    Hm.
    Well played, Willis.

    1. Needfuldoer

      That’s probably being saved for when DoA hits Thanksgiving, unless they go back to La Porte for another weekend.

      1. Stairmasternem

        Maybe Dorothy invites Joyce to her house for Thanksgiving? She knows Joyce’s situation so it wouldn’t be far fetched.

        I could see Becky going to Dina’s and being absolutely bored by her quiet parents. Then dinosaurs, thus end of boredom.

    2. Darkoneko

      Maybe she saw it coming and is already waiting in front of the car

    3. Spencer

      Apart from it being something that can be worked in later, I like that it’s Hank deciding to just avoid the drama and get Joyce and Becky out of a bad situation.

      Also Joyce needs a damn break already, I mean jeez.

  65. Neeks

    Becky sure knows how to make an exit. Very sweet of her to leave one heck of a mending job for Carol, too.

    1. Bagge

      At least she didn’t use super glue.

  66. Bagge

    This is where the Becky Theme starts playing full strength. The good church goers swooning, pastors choking on their beards, angels high fiving each other, Jennifer#3 crying bitter tears because she missed it, Dina, far far away getting a strange feeling in her pants.

    YOU GO BECKY!!!!!!!

  67. Bagge

    Panel 3, Becky is a bit disappointed she couldn’t stay to the “Pray away the gay-part”. The undressing could have been even more dramatic.

    1. David

      Well, all the gay is gone from the dress already.

  68. Jesse

    Apparently, Becky just summoned a rapping genie to torment the homophobes by making them listen to him “Green egg and ham it”.

  69. vivid

    i was about to write “becky confirmed for shamwow guy” but then i realized she actually said kazam. damnit willis you ruined my joke before it was even born

    1. Bagge

      Damn you Willis

    2. Needfuldoer

      Becky confirmed for Shaquille O’Neal?

    3. trlkly

      So she’s instead confirmed for a basketball player turned genie.

  70. Chonos

    I thought Becky graduated high school.

    1. David

      She was an ursa major.

      1. Darkoneko

        That pun is unBearable.

  71. David

    And now the whole confla- congregation desperately tries dressing Becky with their eyes.

    1. OnyxIdol

      Dressing or undressing?

    2. Stairmasternem

      They’re too busy mingling to notice. Half of them apparently decided not to even acknowledge her existence anyways?

      1. David

        Well, if they are not acknowledging her existence, shouldn’t they be troubled by Carol’s dress lying ripped on the floor?

        1. Needfuldoer

          Not half as troubled as they were about it floating around on its own among them.

  72. CleverTrousers

    Where Becky live now?

    1. Lulu

      We need Becky & Dina sexy lesbian dinosaur webcam chat going live…

  73. David

    Sooooo. Becky hopped on board to La Porte because Billy needed her bed back. And now when they come back they will need a bed for Hank as well?

    Well-played, Becky. And now we don’t even have the dress for camouflaging Hank any more.

  74. Just Me

    There should be one more panel where Becky replies, “It is now.”

  75. David

    You know what? When Carol was going to hear of Hank driving off Joyce and Becky, she was going to rend her clothes anyway. Becky just saved her the effort.

  76. CianM1301

    All clothes are tear-away clothes if you try hard enough.

  77. Will

    Last strip, when Hank said “lets get you back to Bloomington”, he meant “lets get you two back to Bloomington right now.”

    1. Stairmasternem

      He probably realized that this weekend meant to de stress her daughter has done the complete opposite.

      I hope we get more Hank interactions in the future. Maybe Joyce will call him more instead of Carol.

  78. OnyxIdol

    Wow, Becky really ran out of fucks to give, didn’t she.

    1. Orion Fury

      That implies that she had some to start with here.

  79. Darkoneko

    Hey, destroying lended clothes ain’t cool !

    1. Spencer

      I dunno, there’s no visual indicator that the dress was actually ripped off, like frayed edged or anything.

      I think the joke is that Becky got it off without tearing it.

      1. Darkoneko

        [now after reading all the other comment]
        I’m going with the magically teleported out of them theory, after all.

        1. Trousle Undrhil

          Maybe there *are* alien abductees in this universe …. and Becky is one of them?

  80. theheroesofcrash

    When I was a child, I saw “Fellowship Time” as “Snack Time”. Now that I’m an adult… yeah, I’m still making a beeline for the snacks.

    1. Orion Fury

      And this just pisses me off. Five minutes? Screw that, my church it like a solid hour. And we have two snack tables. All kinds of goodies there, `specially when I’m running them.

    2. Daisetsu

      My church never had this “Fellowship Time” thing… We were just in service for about 2 hours (or less, depending on a multitude of things) and then we just left for home or wherever.

  81. Bagge

    But, but, but what is pastor-mc-beard going to do with his passive aggressive homophobic sermon about the importance of honoring your father and not getting them thrown into jail now?

    1. Trolldrool

      A sermon about honouring your father when he tells you to grab your gay friend and haul ass out of church?

      1. Orion Fury

        He’ll probably just dress it up with something about “Being happy on a journey to discover knowledge about one’s self”.

  82. Aaron

    This may not be the best strip to post this in, Willis, but it occurred to me:
    You might kinda be our generation’s Garrison Keillor.
    http://www.theatlantic.com/entertainment/archive/2016/07/garrison-keillors-bipartisan-appeal/489761/

  83. Willoughby Chase

    Now get the hell out of there.

    1. David

      I already opined that Hank does not have the leisure for an exorcism right now. Getting the hell out of there will have to be a task for another time. But it is becoming increasingly important to get Joyce and Becky out of there.

      1. Willoughby Chase

        An exorcism on Becky, perhaps? Or on Carol?

        1. David

          The congregation. Getting the hell out of this congregation will take a lot of work since the hell has wormed itself pretty deep into it.

  84. AY

    My high school boyfriend ripped his t-shirt off during a pep rally, once… also took place in a gymnasium.

  85. Henry

    Awesome becky is awesome!!!

    Though thinking about it, will this ruin Hank’s attempt to do this quietly? I assume that carol will be quick to figure it out but still.

  86. Ikari Shinji

    ..the physics here are confusing me. Apparently she ripped the back from the front, then pulled it over her head between panels and the poses just seem to match in a misleading way?

    1. Ikari Shinji

      Also the belt that was in the way just vanished? Head hurts.

      1. Orion Fury

        It’s just a comic…

  87. Latona

    I know externals aren’t a measure of relationship with Christ, but I’d like to see Becky talk more about God <:. Just a few words about relying on him or talking about what he said to her or an off hand comment about praying or having read a verse or just a
    "hey Becky, why did you wear a dress you didn't like?"
    "I dunno,it's not a big deal, Christ tolerance/golden rule n' all that"

  88. Paul

    I really don’t get why Becky is choosing to make a scene at this point.

    Earlier, when Carol put the dress on her and Joyce was about to blow a gasket, Joyce held her tongue because Becky was willing to wear the dress to keep the peace. So, Becky is OK with using the dress as “camoflague.” But by tearing it off now, Becky has significantly reduced Hank’s chances of making a clean getaway back to Bloomington with Becky and Joyce. If Hank had managed to hustle the two girls out into the car while Carol’s back was turned, he might have been able to speed home, get Joyce’s stuff, and be on the road again before Carol could catch up with him. All of this would have served Becky and Joyce’s best interests. Becky has shown before that she is capable of stealth and strategic withdrawal when she needs to be. Now, the inevitable marital fight will be happening with Becky and Joyce present.

    1. Latona

      A) I dont think Becky thinks threw all her decisions
      B) I think Joyce’s moderation in asking Becky first subconsciously inspired Becky to be more moderate and to realize that a war against discrimination isn’t a war against dresses* xD

      *yes, I realize that the dress came with larger cultural trappings but choseing battles and all that

    2. David

      Because making a spectacle is Becky’s go-to reaction to criminalization of her sexual identity.

      She is actually heeding the gospel here:

      29 And if thy right eye offend thee, pluck it out, and cast it from thee: for it is profitable for thee that one of thy members should perish, and not that thy whole body should be cast into hell.

      30 And if thy right hand offend thee, cut it off, and cast it from thee: for it is profitable for thee that one of thy members should perish, and not that thy whole body should be cast into hell.

      She is burning bridges that she is better off without. Yes, there will come a time when she may wish she hadn’t. And exactly that is the reason she is doing it: to close a door for good and throw away the key.

      1. Willoughby Chase

        > She is actually heeding the gospel here:

        No she’s not.

        She’s being a bit of a show-off.

    3. Bicycle Bill

      Paul, I still think Hank has a better-than-average chance of a clean getaway.  He’s got both Joyce and Becky and the car.  He can be back to the house, throw the girls’ stuff into paper bags if necessary, and be on the road back to Bloomington in less than 20 minutes.

      Carol is no dummy.  It will take her less time than it’s taking me to post this to figure out that the three of them are headed back to IU.  But she will have to find someone to either a) give her a ride home and then, make arrangements to follow them (another vehicle, perhaps, although there’s been no reference to a second car prior to this) or b) prevail on someone to drive HER to Bloomington in pursuit.

      While option ‘B’ is far more likely — most of the congregation is going to be on her side — it will still take time for them to get underway.

      But the end result will be the same with either scenario — the drama takes place back at Joyce’s dorm with an awful lot of curious and attentive bystanders around.

  89. pyrpyr

    And to think that preview scene Willis showed us in Tumblr was merely Hank asking Powers to give Carol a ride home…
    I was genuinely worried there.

    Wait wait nope new implications still worried

  90. Deanatay

    Hank: That dress belonged to my mother…

    1. David

      Father, actually.

  91. Reltzik

    … okay. Having stared at panels 4 and 5 for a bit, assuming Becky doesn’t release her grip on the dress in between those panels, and assuming the dress isn’t wide open and untied, unclasped, and unbuttoned along its back (including the backs of the sleeves), then what just happened here is physically impossible assuming an even-remotely Euclidean topology.

    ….

    … unless there’s some sort of phasing involved wherein substances become mutually-immaterial.

    1. Schpoonman

      So Becky is Shadowcat, got it.

      1. Slartibeast Button, BIA

        I hope this doesn’t mean she has to fight a demon when she is all alone next Christmas.

  92. George Wiman

    We didn’t go into the vector physics of Sal’s rescue of Amazi-girl (Spoiler: nope) so I give this scene a pass AND a thumbs-up. She’d been itching to yank that dress off since realizing she made a mistake agreeing to wear it in the first place.

    1. Bagge

      Not only itching – PLANNING. This was the ripost to Carol’s attempt to humiliate her with the dress.

      “What was that, Carol? I should be ashamed of my sexuality and hide it between extra-strength heteronormative clothes. Buuuut since I AM a lesbian I suppose I should just TAKE THE DRESS OFF!!!”.

      This is what made Becky smile in the last panel here
      http://www.dumbingofage.com/2016/comic/book-6/04-it-all-returns/dresses/

      1. Cerberus

        Becky might be very very done with her “homecoming tour”.

  93. Bicycle Bill

    Found this on Facebook under “church funnies”.  Since Hank is talking to the youth pastor, I think it’s appropriate here:

    The youth pastor fell asleep during a staff meeting.  So we laid some clothes on the chairs and exited quietly.
    Then we blew a trumpet…..

    1. Raza

      I would pay to see that.

    2. DSL

      Kudos to you for knowing where to end that.

    3. Orion Fury

      I laughed so hard I started coughing.

  94. MapleAmber

    They’re not out yet… Confrontation at the door? In the parking lot? Oh the possibilities!
    But seriously, sneak away fast, Hank, and get the girls back to college.

  95. Bij

    Destroying a cool dress like that is bad. Tear-ably bad.

    1. pyrpyr

      SEW disrespectful

      1. Spencer

        I hear it’s a cheap brand. You know, a real rip off.

  96. Trousle Undrhil

    Becky could have waited to be outside to take the dress off. This way is just disrespectful and rude.

    1. Orion Fury

      I mean really? Show some respect and courtesy for other people. The nerve…

    2. George Wiman

      Exactly. The people at the church totally deserve respect, for the kind and supportive way they’ve treated her since she arrived.

      1. PharmaDan

        Hey just because they be assholes doesn’t mean one should stoop to their level.

        You gotta be better than them… or you got to stoop lower!

    3. Kay

      It’s not like she got _naked_ or anything. She’s just refusing to pretend for people who can’t accept her as she is.

  97. Kay

    DANG IT, BECKY.

    Stop sharing your secret lesbian powers with the straights!

    1. Orion Fury

      Or last least showing them off to people incapable of appreciating them.

      Has someone made a list of lesbian powers demonstrated in DoA?

      1. Slartibeast Button, BIA

        Do lesbians get invisibility powers? Or is that only bisexuals?

        1. Cerberus

          The list goes:

          Lesbians: General witchery and sorcery
          Gay men: Control over the weather
          Bisexuls: Invisibility
          Asexuals: Invisibility
          Trans people: Conversion magics to make people gay or straight as well as the ability to summon cataclysms
          Straight people: Actual legal and societal rights.

        2. FinalOwen

          All bisexuals need to remember that our powers are ineffective around September 23rd, and as such, any bank robberies, poltergeist impersonations and general mischief need to be rearranged.
          Those who also fall under trans or ace umbrellas will probably get enough of a boost for things to work, though.

        3. thecollector222

          I’m both Trans, and a Lesbian, so do I get both power sets?

        4. Cerberus

          Indeed, which is why people hate and fear those of more than one marginalized identity. Because we become unto gods.

        5. Orion Fury

          You know, I think I’m fine with what I got.

  98. Aquatus

    Hank: **Okay, let’s sneak the girls out of here all quiet like**
    Becky: **Beckies**
    Hank: **Allright, Plan B…**

    1. Bagge

      Way to Becky it up, Becky.

  99. Cerberus

    Entire congregation right about now: She’s a witch! Burn her!

    But seriously, I’m so happy Becky and Joyce are getting out of here before the triggering mess that would have been the sermon.

    And especially happy that Becky gets to be done trying to tiptoe around the glass and just absorb blows like she’s been doing. She’s been ready to leave since they arrived as has Joyce and I’m so happy for the two of them that Hank is walking the walk and making sure to get them back to the “magical place where they can be themselves” as Becky refers to it.

    And it’s a nice little touch that Hank refers to it as a family emergency, including Becky in the family part of that emergency. It’s a small step, but at the end of this, he could end up with 3 daughters who love him if he plays his cards right.

    Also? Becky=sorceress. Seriously, that dress doesn’t even look ripped in those last panels, so either she did that quick pull over the head thing I do sometimes or she straight up phased out of her clothes.

    1. Kay

      Second to last panel, bottom of the formerly tight dress. Only sign.

      1. Cerberus

        Yeah, but the same bottom seems to have reformed in the last panel.

        Wait… maybe the dress itself is magical. It was somehow put on her without her being able to react to it, so…!

        HOLY SHIT! It’s Satan’s church dress!

        1. Regalli

          You know suddenly Carol’s fear of devilry makes a bit more sense HELL IS ACTUALLY IN HER CLOSET.

          She should probably see an exorcist about that. Or move.

        2. Slartibeast Button, BIA

          She read an ancient prophecy about the danger that would come out of the closet, but she took it too metaphorically.

        3. thejeff

          It is the dress. More, it’s all the Brown’s clothes. Explains how Joyce was able to wrap her shirt around Sarah’s head before Sarah could see her take it off.

    2. Bagge

      Ooooooh, well spotted with the family emergency. Hank is Hanking it right.

  100. Regalli

    “Let’s get you back to Bloomington” meaning RIGHT NOW back to Bloomington, that is some A-plus dadding there.

    You’re potentially in for a huge storm tonight Hank, but given what Joyce and Becky need is to just be away from these people right now, that is good.

  101. Tenn

    So that’s what a strap-on is! And Joyce may be in luck; if it fits Becky, there’s a good chance it’ll fit her too! 😀

  102. Nate

    When I first saw this posted I was like, “How long ’til the Becky haters start saying she’s awful for possibly ruining Carol’s dress/”causing a scene”?”

    None last night when I checked. But the comments didn’t disappoint today when I came back. I guess if you’re a loud character you’re bound to have a lot of haters! I’m not a huge Becky fan myself but I don’t get the hate. Although I am a loud, boisterous, and annoying person IRL myself, haha.

    1. Orion Fury

      I was just being facetious.

  103. TabofManyColors

    I’m gonna go with “Carol didn’t realize the dress was a tearaway when she bought it,” if only because the image of Carol talking to the clerk about how hard it is to find modest clothing while the clerk is ringing her up for her tearaway dress is kind of hilarious.

  104. Fang shinobi

    I’m here reading about 2-hr services and snack times in churches, meanwhile i attended 1-hour Catholic masses and slept through them (I’m a bad Catholic as you can probably tell), and we only socialize a bit before and after masses. I can’t even last an hour in church… How…

  105. Mancuso

    That look in the last panel… I hate to be the dirty old man but I daresay whatever Hank’s plans are, he’s been momentarily sidelined by the sudden realization that gay freckled boobies are all kinds of awesome.

    1. Jackson

      To me he appears to be staring at the dress. I’m reading his expression as the “stunned disbelief” variety of “oh wow,” not so much the libido-related variety.

      Then again, given what Becky is wearing underneath, in a crowded conservative church, Hank may be among those looking for absolutely any alternative target at which to bounce their eyes.

    2. Darastrix

      As soon as the “I hate to be the dirty old man” crossed your mind, you really should have stopped right there.

      1. Orion Fury

        Though that comment did take a while to pop up, and he was honest about it.

  106. Slapdash

    I still can’t get over how much of a dead ringer the pastor is for the pastor at my family’s church when I was growing up. As well as the congregation…

  107. Kris

    Becky always gave me Kimmy Gibbler vibes, but especially in this strip for some reason

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