446

Beef
Posted on August 29, 2016 by David M Willis

446 thoughts on “Beef”

  1. Ana Chronistic

    “So yer laik a reincarnated Riblet dinner or somethin’?”

    1. JustCheetoDust

      Nevermind that riblets are pork

      1. pjeseb

        … Is anyone else hungry now?

        1. butts

          PERPETUALLY

        2. Disloyal Subject

          This.
          I curse my metabolism as I nurse my third tube of cookie dough and scrape watermelon rinds clean.

        3. JustCheetoDust

          I dipped fried pork chops in chicken salad before reading tonight’s comic.

        4. Opus the Poet

          Yep, I be a might peckish.

        5. Schol-R-LEA

          Have a bit of Grandmother with some broccoli?

      2. Disloyal Subject

        Eh, long pig. Close enough.

        1. Orion Fury

          Non-human mammalian flesh to be consumed?

        2. Disloyal Subject

          Non-human. Yes. Ahem, yes, that.

        3. Geneseepaws

          It is immoral to eat “long-pig” unless it was farm raised. Free-range long-pig is Illegal, Immoral, habit forming, sodium levels through the roof, and very fattening, and just all-around DON’T do it. And especially not to eat the liver. The modern 21st Century chefs substitute Smithfield Ham in recipes. Just sayin’.
          Starting sentences are 15 years with time off of good behavior, to 20 to life with no parole.
          Don’t eat long-pig.

        4. Schol-R-LEA

          As Larry Niven showed, it’s much better to assimilate their culture instead.

        5. tyersome

          True, but it still bites if you are chewsie …

      3. Animaniac

        Well, she did say she had no beef.

        1. Willoughby Chase

          And now she’s on the lamb.

        2. Spencer

          She should be careful. There’s a lot at steak here.

        3. Dean

          As long as she doesn’t turn chicken.

        4. Kryss LaBryn

          I dunno. Something seems fishy to me.

        5. tyersome

          Well there is a a lot of carping going on …

        6. Ana Chronistic

          but does AG have the chops to pull this off???

        7. MortartarSaws

          That’s not even the wurst of it; How is AG going to get away from security if she pulled a hamstring?

  2. Bagge

    Oh, well that clears it all up. Good talk.

    1. Orion Fury

      Well I’m glad someone understood all that. The most I got was Marcie signaling for help.

      1. WhoWasI

        I’m still trying to figure out why the button has an accent. Kleek vs Click?

        1. Gand

          I think it’s the noise a radio do when it connects to the channel.

        2. Disloyal Subject

          I’d call that more of a ‘Bli(i)p(p)’

        3. wwwhhattt

          Besides, Marcie wouldn’t have much use for that.

        4. Ethan

          Marcie isn’t deaf, just mute.

        5. Silly Name

          Which means she still can’t use the radio for much besides ringing the alarm.

        6. Foxhack

          “Marcie, hit the button as many times as you need to express how severe the situation is.”

          *Marcie hits that button like she was Takahashi Meijin*

        7. Disloyal Subject

          Higher pitch than ‘click?’ Electronic beeping noise?

        8. Chief_of_Staves

          Well, it’s not scientific progress. That goes “Boink.”

        9. Orion Fury

          But she does mean to create more security around her…

        10. Needfuldoer

          That’s security progress, which apparently goes ‘kleek’.

        11. Orion Fury

          Check.

        12. thejeff

          At least it didn’t go “ping”. That’s a very expensive one.

        13. a snow mous e

          Boink is a fun word to say. Not as fun as smock, but still entertaining.

  3. butts

    FIGHT FIGHT FIGHT

    1. Fart Captor

      HUGS HUGS HUGS

      1. Orion Fury

        FUGS FUGS FUGS

        1. Dean

          FROGS FROGS FROGS

        2. butts

          SOGS SOGS SOGS

        3. LookingIn

          Snog snog snog

        4. Woobie

          SOGGIES SOGGIES SOGGIES

        5. butts

          soggies may rule

        6. JessWitt

          DAB DAB DAB

        7. Emperor Norton II

          Butts: THE HELL THEY WILL!

        8. Orion Fury

          Snozzberries Snozzberries Snozzberries

        9. Metalhawk

          These snozzberries look like snozzberries….

        10. Orion Fury

          Don’t squeeze them too hard, you wouldn’t want them to burst in your face, right?

        11. a snow mous e

          Then what’s a “snozzcumber” (from BFG)?
          I mean, can’t someone use various small fruits as euphemisms for testicles? Is that limited to larger fruits and female breasts?

        12. Willoughby Chase

          Oggy, Oggy, Oggy!

        13. Kryss LaBryn

          Beetlejuice Beetlejuice Beetlejuice!

        14. Orion Fury

          Keaton Keaton Keaton!

        15. fogel

          FIGS? They’re good, too.

        16. JustCheetoDust

          And in season!

        17. Gigafreak

          Figs? Good? Nay. Figs are evil.

          GOD HATES FIGS!

      2. lejwocky

        Why not both?

    2. miados

      well this will end up in at the least the school paper are a front page event.

      1. Idontcarenomore

        This is at a state level political rally? May rate a bit more than a school paper.

        1. Durandal_1707

          This actually seems like a pretty good way for Sal to end up on the national news, as the target of another one of those police shootings. it’s already starting to play out a lot like Trayvon Martin. :-/

        2. Geneseepaws

          Word of Willis, no one dies.

        3. Silly Name

          You’d be surprised what you can live through.

        4. Commodore Jeep-Eep

          Yeah, a non-lethal gunshot wound is one of the highest probability endings here – that might set off major drama on campus, which I can see Robin, the vermin she is, exploiting ruthlessly. It would also create big drama for Walky and Sal’s boytoy.

  4. Doctor_Who

    “And furthermore, darkness engulfs my…wait, this isn’t the cafe. Sorry, I’m late for beat poetry night, gotta dash. Loved your verse about the black hole boobs, by the way, mind if I borrow that for a sonnet I’m working on?”

    1. butts

      Woman! Whoa, man! Whoooooooooa, MAN!

    2. Silly Name

      Black hole boobs/
      Won’t you come/
      And wash away the… Ah, I don’t know, the penis? Look, I had no idea where I was going with this either.

      1. N0083rP00F

        Jersey?

  5. miados

    amazigirl seems especially agressive today. *activate sarcasm* I can’t imagine why she might be feeling a bit off. After all her life is so plain and normal.

    1. Doctor_Who

      The McRib just got discontinued AGAIN. And at the rate time moves in this comic, she might not get another one for decades, so naturally she’s a bit grumpy.

      1. Darkoneko

        There is no more triple-cheeseburgers D:

    2. Amanda

      Amazigirl’s had a great day! Amber, on the other hand, not so much. Golly gee, it sure is a good thing Amazigirl and Amber are two different people! ᕕ( ᐛ )ᕗ

  6. Some1

    Questing of Age

    Riley screams as she drops into the pit

    Roz: RILEY!

    Carol: I now raise Danny Wilcox!

    Joyce: Wait…what!?

    Carol: And the demon Aka Manah!

    Danny rises out of the pit, his eyes are black and sunk into his skull.

    His mouth slowly hinges open and black smoke bellows out.

    Amber: Danny?

    Danny/Aka turns to Carol.

    Carol kneels on one knee, and bows.

    Carol: My master.

    Aka: You have done well Carol.

    Carol rises to her feet.

    Carol: Is this new body a good fit for you?

    Aka: It is acceptable.

    Joyce: But why? We thought you were trying to bring back Blaine!

    Carol: Why would I bring back that idiot, when Danny here makes a much better candidate?

    Aka walks up to Joyce and caresses her cheek.

    Aka: I am the eternal, I am the manipulator, and I am reborn.

    Joyce: Stay away from me.

    Aka: Such a pretty young thing. Carol, you have done well, but I need a bit more power.

    Carol: Well, I have plenty of candidates!

    Aka: You will do.

    Carol starts to gasp as her soul is pulled from her lungs and absorbed into Danny’s body.

    The Choirs souls also are pulled into him, and they

    Aka: With this last bit of power, I will drag down Heaven itself and combine it with Hell!

    Amber was the first to move, throwing the strongest punch she could at Aka. Aka dodged effortlessly and kicked her across the wall.

    Mary: Joyce, we have to attack together.

    Joyce: Right!

    Everyone attacks at once surrounding Aka in a series of punches and kicks. But none of them seem to connect.

    Dina: UNLEASH THE RAPTOR!

    Dina uses her raptor form (where energy in the shape of a dinosaur surrounds her) and runs at Aka. Aka grabs her dino jaws and tears it apart.

    Becky: Dina!

    Sal blows fire at Aka through her cigarette, which leaps out of the way from, before seemingly teleporting next to her and puts a hole through her back.

    Sal: AUGH!

    The rest of Sal’s posse tries their best, but can’t lay a scratch.

    Billie and Ruth grab Sal, dragging her out of the way.

    Walky and Dorothy tag team him.

    Walky: So Danny, how about a rematch!

    Aka grabs both their legs as they try to kick him slamming them together.

    Jocelyne and Ethan try to attack together, but are punched across the room.

    Sarah leaps up and attacks Aka with Other Jacob 2, Aka grabs the weapon and breaks it in half, before kicking Sarah away.

    Becky leaps into the air

    Becky: ULTIMATE CLOSET NUKE!

    Aka doesn’t even bother to dodge the attack, yet it does no damage. He leaps up and slams Becky into the ground.

    In desperation, Faz attacks, jumping onto Aka’s back. Aka grabs him, and throws Faz over his shoulder, slamming him into the stone.

    Amber: Danny! I know you’re in there somewhere! Please!

    Tears run down Ambers face.

    Amber: If you could help me! WHY CAN’T YOU HELP YOURSELF!

    Aka looks at Amber, and for a brief second Danny’s pupils start to overtake the black.

    Aka: NO! This body belongs to me now!

    Joyce steps up and looks at Aka sternly.

    Joyce: Guys, get out of here.

    Aka: Trying to save them, by sacrificing yourself, ultimately a foolish endeavor.

    Danny: (Faintly) It’s not.

    Aka: NO! This body belongs to me now!

    Suddenly a beam of energy strikes Aka in the back.

    Aka looks behind him to see an exhausted half dead Jonathan, with a metal plate over his chest.

    Jonathan: That was for my mother.

    Jonathan passes out.

    Aka: Pointless.

    Joyce steps in front of Aka and begins to power up.

    Aka: Ah, this looks like it could be some fun.

    Mary also steps up.

    Joyce: Mary?

    Mary: You know you have no chance on your own.

    Aka: Even better.

    Joyce: Right, let’s beat that thing out of him!

    1. Moblin Umbrella

      Yo holy fuck did Dina just die

      AGAIN

      1. Some1

        Dina is fine, the power up was just destroyed.

        1. Moblin Umbrella

          Ah, that makes more sense.
          Good good

        2. Disloyal Subject

          “Just?” Losing a spectral projection so violently has got to suck, like having a piece of your soul slapped with a 30lb cheese grater.

        3. EvilMidnightLurker

          Stand crash.

    2. Falling Star

      HOLY CRAP

  7. Stephen R. Bierce

    Panic Button was pushed.

    1. miados

      well not like she can use the walkie talkie function so a panic button is practical.

    2. JessWitt

      Ripping the drama tag is final protocol.

  8. AutobotDen

    Amber, no. Just. No. This is NOT the way to go about things. Especially since security’s gonna be all up on your ass very shortly.

    1. Orion Fury

      If only it was Amber…

      1. Needfuldoer

        Physically it is. Which alter is in charge at any given time doesn’t matter to the police. If she gets arrested she’s getting booked as Amber O’Malley because Amazi-Girl legally does not exist.

        1. No Name

          Even if she does get unmasked, I doubt that Ethan, Danny or Mike, the three people who know her name, are at the rally. She’ll probably be booked under “Jane Doe” until Ethan or Danny (Mike will have been tied to a post – Ethan and Danny aren’t that stupid) show up to explain.

        2. WhoWasI

          Sal knows Amber from her dorm floor. We assume she still doesn’t know AG is Amber.

        3. Orion Fury

          My comment was more ‘If Amber was in control here, she wouldn’t be here.’

  9. Mr. Mendo

    Amazi-Girl gets her powers from Morrissey lyrics, I guess. 😉

  10. Moblin Umbrella

    So you’re just a ball of hormones and spite

  11. Yotomoe

    http://imgur.com/iCx5WHM

    (I missed yesterday’s strip but I’m gonna be honest, I REALLY don’t like Sal’s Simile from panel 3 last strip. It seemed overly boisterous)

    1. butts

      Malaya might be more into asses. After all, she’s a giant one.

      1. Emperor Norton II

        This is one of those occasions where “she’s” can mean both “she is” and “she has” with equal validity.

  12. Too Old To Be Cool

    “Where’s the beef?”

    1. Jay Eff

      According to Amazi-Girl, Sal has it.

    2. butts

      Oh, he plays for the football team.

      1. Orion Fury

        I missed that comic.

        1. Disloyal Subject

          That’s fine, he has a tag!

        2. Orion Fury

          Poor guy shares 75% of his appearances with pre-liked Danny.

    3. Willoughby Chase

      The beef? Jerk he has it!

  13. John

    My Beef is the guy you got switched with in another universe!

  14. Russ

    This is getting way past excessive. Someone needs to get baker acted.

    1. Orion Fury

      ‘Baker acted’?

      1. Woobie

        Like a 5150. Involuntary mental health “hold”.

        1. Orion Fury

          Ah.

        2. Russ

          Thank you. I didn’t know what a 5150 was until you mentioned it, but after looking it up I see it’s the California equivalent.

        3. Needfuldoer

          It’s also a really good Van Halen album.

      2. Russ

        Sorry, it’s a thing exclusive to my state, which I didn’t know until now. basically it’s a law saying that people can be detained for the purpose of examining their mental well-being. If they’re neglecting their health, or a potential threat to themselves or others, they can be brought in for the purpose of evaluating them and getting them the treatment they need, even if they don’t want to.

        1. Russ

          At least the term “baker acted” is a local thing. I’m sure several states have similar laws in place.

        2. Idontcarenomore

          NY used to have same type law as hold for mental evaluation if dangerous to yourself or others, think it was 2 weeks. But that was years ago, so not sure if still in place or no.

        3. Woobie

          A very close friend of mine endured this. She did not receive three days of evaluation, observation, therapy, or such. She was parked in an underfunded facility with a lot of undersupervised patients who had serious issues.

        4. Russ

          I’m very sorry to hear about what your friend went through. Unfortunately it’s really hit or miss when it comes to mental health facilities, since for every caring/effective one there are 2 understaffed/underfunded ones. I hope your friend received actual help for whatever they were going through.

        5. Marie

          It’s more so that they can hold you and have a doctor look at you, in my experience (with the Mental Health Act in Canada, a 72 hour hold). That way if they don’t have a psychiatrist available to see you right when you get there, you can’t say ‘fuck this’ and leave and potentially hurt yourself or others. So more like 72 hours to be observed, and of enough nurses etc present to keep an eye on you, not 72 hours of medical monitoring and therapy.

        6. Woobie

          It didn’t happen that way.

        7. Woobie

          Thank you for the concern.
          There was no help to be gained; her husband and (mostly) his parents were trying for advantage in a custody dispute.
          What she endured in those three days has affected my trust in mental health science. Understanding the problem is fuzzy, how can an effective treatment be targeted? And most treatment doesn’t appear as effective as, say, removing a Stage 1 tumor.

      3. Orion Fury

        I’d only heard the term ‘committed’, I believe. Rather catch-all, slightly abusive. May be why I don’t much care for it.

        1. Russ

          Yeah, I can see why we don’t use the term as much anymore. unfortunately, as described by Woobie above, that doesnt mean we always treat those with mental health problems with the care and respect they deserve

    2. gwalla

      I really liked him as the fourth Doctor but I’m not sure casting him as Amber would be a good idea.

      1. Russ

        He’s got some range, don’t doubt him.

        1. Clif

          He’s always been my favorite.

  15. chris73

    If I’d watched someone take a fall like that and then get back up that quickly I’d probably decide that discretion is the better part of valour and not want to take her on

    1. Disloyal Subject

      You are not Sal.
      I think Sal has crushed folks more durable than Amazi-girl, but possibly not as tenacious and/or unhinged.
      Also, Sal is pretty definitely angry, though still well within “will let Marcie stop her” limits, and might even just talk if she weren’t being physically held back.

      1. chris73

        In real life for someone to get up like that from a height like that especially when she was not expecting it…i’d be thinking bonkers or stoned to the gills

        She really should be going to hospital as a precaution

        1. Disloyal Subject

          Well, AG is pretty clearly bonkers.
          I’m just not convinced Sal hasn’t already faced someone similarly bonkers and won.

        2. thejeff

          Well, one of the first things you get taught in martial arts is how to fall. It didn’t look like a good landing, but … artistic license.

          And if I was capable of not just pulling someone from the stair above, but flipping them over my head one-handed, I wouldn’t be worried when they got up. I’d just assume we both had super-powers. 🙂

        3. chris73

          If someone can get pulled over 6ft onto a concrete/wooden floor when not expecting it and take the full force of it on their upper back and not use their arms or legs to help cushion the fall and get pretty much straight back up then I’d be reassessing my options pretty quickly 🙂

        4. thejeff

          Amazi-Girl got thrown into the windshield of a car and then jumped to the car ahead. We’re not exactly dealing with normal physics here.

          And look at the move in yesterday’s strip. Sal doesn’t just pull her down, she flips her over her head one-handed. Again, not strictly dealing with reality here.

        5. chris73

          That’s a good point also, with this strip the line between reality and whacky hijinks sometimes gets blurred

        6. Disloyal Subject

          Not quite normal biology either; Amazi-girl is far from invulnerable, but given the “thrown into the windshield of a car” part she’s plainly pretty good at shrugging off physical trauma.
          I suspect Blaine is largely to blame for that last bit. She hasn’t really gone into detail about what tortures Blaine inflicted on her, but if they led to a lot of bones breaking and healing over, her bones might actually be abnormally dense.

  16. Butterscotch

    Amber, Frank Miller called and he wants you to stop quoting his comics and just yell “WHORESWHORESWHORESWHORES”

    1. Doctor_Who

      Wonderella just posted a comic with a bunch of different Wonderellas, and you can instantly tell that one of them is Frank Miller style from the art and finding an excuse to say “Whores”.

      Dude draws just like he writes: he doesn’t know when to STOP.

      1. Haven

        Ooh, thanks for the heads-up Wonderella updated. I was checking it all day yesterday and nothing. 😐

        1. Doctor_Who

          Apparently he just switched to doing longer strips and storylines, so now instead of weekly updates, we get “whenever it’s finished” updates.

          Fine by me, I’d love to see some actual Wonderella storylines that go on for several pages.

        2. Woobie

          Every webcomic I like (except here and SMBC) has slowed their posting schedule.

      2. Bagge

        Wonderella has priorities set straight

        1. Emperor Norton II

          Booze, sex, saving the world if it makes her look good?

  17. Yumi

    Since it’s not obvious whose comment that is in the last panel, I’m going to imagine that it’s Marcie suddenly speaking.

    1. Woobie

      Not Sal?

    2. Bagge

      I think a bystander saw the chance to make a butt-joke and took it.

      1. Emperor Norton II

        Because that’s what you’d have done?

  18. tim gueguen

    Next strip Amazi-girl adopts the new name Ms. Cryptic.

    1. butts

      Ms. Anne Thropy.

      1. Orion Fury

        Who’s the sidekick? Tim Onsim?

    2. WhoWasI

      I’ll go with Miss Directed.

      (As in: AG, your problems are with Blaine, not Sal.)

      1. Needfuldoer

        Blaine caused much of the damage bit by bit over time, but Sal dealt a huge blow with the convenience store robbery. Amazi-Girl was born out of that trauma.

        Sal has no idea Amber was even there.

  19. Mandy

    Oh lord.

    1. chris73

      This is good, finally Sal can learn that her actions have consequences for other people. Up to now her viewpoint has always been about whats happened to her, from her viewpoint and not considering anyone else.

      Amazi-girl might also benefit from a verbal smack down once shes unloaded (verbally) on Sal, this could go surprisingly well for everyone involved

      Of course it could also go pear shaped as well

      1. Jed!

        Maybe I’m biased towards Sal, but that sounds a little harsh towards her. It’s not like she acts recklessly without regard for others- I’d actually say she does the opposite since she seems to try to stay out of trouble. The whole cause of the beef between them was years ago and we haven’t heard Sal’s take on it at all. I imagine that she feels terrible about it and, as I think she’s said before, she’s working out all of the issues and anger that led her to do that.

        Essentially, I don’t think it’s fair to say Sal’s recklessness is to blame for Amber’s decision to stalk her, apparently with the intent to harm her and make her feel unsafe in public places and on campus. Her past mistake is the origin of this whole thing, but not some singular cause.

        1. chris73

          No she doesn’t act recklessly but remember her advice to Joyce after the party was that she shouldn’t go to the police based on Sals own experience and her views on therapy

          She has a tendency to believe that she knows best and everyone else doesn’t ref the use of “kid”

          I’m hoping Sal learns why Amber acts the way she does, it doesn’t absolve Amber of course but if Amber can get some closure then maybe she can then look for counselling for herself

          Essentially I’m hoping Sal can grow up and Amber can get some help

        2. Fart Captor

          I don’t see how that’s a lesson she would learn from AG trying to beat her up?

          Like, even if she learns who she is to Amber, I can’t imagine she hasn’t already learned by now that holding a knife to someone’s throat is a shitty thing to do.

        3. Mav

          Yeah, that confuses me..Sal has already learned from her mistakes. Sure, the “cool kid persona” can be annoying to some people, but the way I interpret it is that most people THINK she’s like that, but her true friend Marcie doesn’t even interact with her that way. A common theme I’m seeing with Sal’s character is other characters projecting their own beliefs, based on hearsay and appearance, on to her. Even Amber has beef, but she blames her for everything wrong in her life. Which is BS, quite frankly.

        4. Zach

          That sounds like a grudge you’re holding. Sal wasn’t pushy about it, she didn’t say there was something WRONG with reporting it.

          College campuses have terrible reputations regarding sex crimes, I knew someone who was teased by the cops when he went to report it.
          Many people don’t report it for many reasons.

          When else has she been self centered, besides when she is being insecure?

        5. chris73

          Ok she didn’t but she also knew that at the time Joyce was basically hero worshiping her so of course she was going to listen when Sal started talking

        6. Cerberus

          Which is not necessarily bad advice because cops tend to suck (statistically speaking) with regards to folks reporting sexual assault and a lot of current practices retraumatize folks and put them in the negative spotlight and at best the trial tends to be one last trigger that typically ends in no charge or no jail time and that’s for instances where there is video proof, massive witnesses, and a known named suspect.

          And as Sal noted back then, they didn’t even have the drugs in her system and Sarah had technically committed assault in front of witnesses and so could have been legally culpable as well.

          Like, I’ve done a lot of research on this topic for activism purposes and I can never blame anyone who brings forth the sad reality that exists for rape survivors, because that’s the state of things until we fix our victim blaming rape apologist society.

        7. chris73

          Its also not necessarily good advice either because of the esteem Joyce holds Sal in it was the advice she followed. It might not have led to a court appearance or conviction but it might have led to Joyce to getting help with the after effects of the attack.

          The point is though Sal gave the advice based on what she thought was best for Joyce based on her (Sals) own experiences and Sals experiences with the law would be very different then Joyces

          Its an understandable thing when you’re that age but Sal believes that she has all the answers and is more mature then her friends, her use of “kid” for example

          I’d put her maturity higher then most but below that of Dorothy and Marcie

        8. Fart Captor

          1) Whose experience is Sal supposed to base her advice upon if not her own?

          2) There was no longer any evidence that Joyce had been drugged. Going entirely on witness accounts, you’d have Joyce, who was drugged and doesn’t remember everything clearly, a couple girls who didn’t actually see what happened, a bunch of drunk kids whose stories would be muddled if they could even be found to, and Sarah a black girl who beat a white boy with a baseball bat.

          Even if the police bother to continue investigating the sexual assault after they’ve arrested Sarah (which itself is probably a coin toss, though I don’t honestly know how racist the police are in that part of Indiana), the odds of Ryan being found, charges being filed, and a judge actually convicting him are shamefully low. All the go-to excuses for shitty cops, DA’s and judges to do nothing are there.

          Hopefully, that’s changing. There’s definitely growing awareness of how poorly our legal system handles these issues, but for now Sal’s predictions are sadly quite reasonable.

      2. Fart Captor

        While Sal definitely does have anger issues and can be inconsiderate, she’s done a lot better to deal with those issues than Amber/Amazi-Girl has with her own.

        And Amazi-Girl will probably try her damnedest to make sure that things pear-shaped. She definitely wants a fight, but I’m not sure she actually wants to win it.

        Hopefully Marcie will be able to keep them apart long enough for them to talk some of this shit out.

        1. chris73

          Yeah pretty much this, if Amber can talk and Sal can listen (and vice versa) some good may come of it

        2. Tacos

          The only dialogue Amber/AG is interested in is with her fists.

        3. DonDueed

          You mean in a “Danny’s not here, Mrs. Torrence” sort of way?

        4. zoelogical

          Sal is a registered CoolKid

      3. Idontcarenomore

        Sal is a fairly well adjusted compared to everyone around her. She deals with her problems without dumping on everyone else. Amber is stalking her.

        After Sal rescued Amber AG from the kidnap attempt, Sal told her that she needed to get her self under control. She said that she herself had problems but she was working thru them and Amber needed to do the same.

        Then Sal told Danny while he was bragging about being AGs boyfriend, that if he cared at all he better talk to her before she killed herself and told him what happened.

        I don’t think Sal has an not growing up problem at all.

        1. chris73

          Just last strip she was dumping on Marcie for taking a paying gig, Sal comes from (I’m guessing I don’t know if shes been cut off or not) an affluent background and doesn’t understand that sometimes you have to compromise your principles to pay rent or eat or something

          She also thought sleeping with the TA was a good idea and has a habit of giving people inappropriate nick names, imagine what would happen if Danny started calling Sal Salty Caramel or something which is similar to Sal calling Danny wonderbread and her whole “thing” of wanting to be left alone well its a loud kind of mysterious

          Sal needs a lot of growing up to do but because of who she interacts with she doesn’t come off so bad but its a pretty low bar

        2. Mandy

          Say what you want about Sal, Amber is not in the right here. Period. I’m not very tolerant of the whole Amazi-Girl thing anyway, but it stopped being even remotely acceptable the second she started using the persona as a way to take out her personal vendetta against Sal, rather than using it to beat up shitty people.

          Sal’s got some issues, of course she does. Everyone in this comic does. And sure, maybe if she and Amber had a conversation about what happened years ago, maybe it would help Amber. Maybe. Amber thus far has seemed completely resistant to change for the better. I know that’s not entirely her fault, since her shit father made therapy seem like a bad thing. But letting her issues with Sal fester into this unhealthy obsession and hatred is not a good thing.

          Also, I really don’t know what Amber hopes to accomplish, having this confrontation loudly in a public place. No one is going to let her physically fight Sal here. So she’s basically just being antagonistic, which is immature at best and stupid at worst.

        3. thejeff

          I don’t think anyone is saying Amber’s in the right here. It’s very clear by now that Amber’s issues have gotten out of control.

          I wouldn’t say she’s immature or stupid though. She’s having a pretty serious break with reality – mostly in terms of the moral lens through which she’s seeing the world.

        4. Emily

          Amber’s issues were out of control the instant she started dressing up as a superhero so she could assault random petty criminals to vent her anger.

        5. thejeff

          Fine. More out of control.

        6. trlkly

          That’s not what Amazi-Girl is. She is Amber’s attempt to fix the shitty world she is in. It is not about randomly assaulting people who no one care about. It was always about righting wrongs.

          If she just wanted an excuse to beat on people, would she have went after ToeDad? Would she rescue kittens from trees? Would she go after the Ding-dong bandit? Would she prevent Billie from punching Ruth?

          It’s as if people forget who Amazi-Girl used to be. There’s a reason why punching Blaine was Amber, not Amazi-Girl. She held AG in higher esteem than that.

          Sure, NOW she’s an excuse for her anger. But that happened after the Sal/Danny incident. But we’ve seen in-comic that this was not always the case.

        7. Fart Captor

          Sal is only 18. everyone has a lot of growing up to do at that age. And while Sal certainly has flaws, a lot of the ones you’re bringing up don’t feel especially relevant to the current situation.

        8. zoelogical

          …Danny calling Sal salty caramel is a lot different from Sal calling Danny wonderbread. like, there are privilege differentials at work there. It’s a mocking nickname, but it’s not…brutal. It’s abrasive, but it’s not intrinsically bad. no one’s going to exoticize Danny for being white and male. he has a lot less social pressures and expectations than Sal does. whereas there is a history of black women being compared to food items as if they were something that could be consumed in joint connection with the long history of black women being abused. haha, if Danny had called Sal salty caramel in response to being called wonderbread, that’d be another thing, I think; but then it’d be part of a dialogue, not objectification.

          sleeping with the TA was bad, but like…it’s not like the TA didn’t go along with it??? it was Jason’s job to tell her no, to cut her off. Sal’s not at fault for trying to use the system as she understood it in her favor, especially when she worked her butt off later and beat it on her own terms. like…honestly I think it’s probably indicative of having been sexually abused, or exposed to sexual abuse, since her justification was that she thought that was the way the world worked! she’s the one telling Joyce not to go to the police after her sexual assault because the police won’t do anything. this is someone who’s really aware of how much falls through society’s cracks in regards to sex. telling Joyce that was a protective decision. not perfect, but protective.

          like…you don’t have to like Sal…but neither of these things are indicative of being unaware of consequences. she’s suffered a lot of consequences for holding up a gas station as a kid. she has a bad opinion about her friend’s job, okay; it’s inconsiderate, sure; but if Marcie said she was upset by what Sal said, would she apologize? probably!! that’s how their relationship has worked previously when Sal stepped over the line. but Sal’s still allowed to have opinions, lmao.

          …Sal is a risk-taker, definitely, but she’s very aware of the potential consequences, imo. Right here and right now there’s a risk; but she’s in a public space, next to her friend who is a security officer, and she has public documentation of Amazi-girl’s presence and someone who will probably testify for her. she’s not psychic. she’s not going to know that Amber’s the kid who stabbed her after she held up a gas station unless Amber tells her. but she is forcing a confrontation in a situation near a politician who can’t afford to have the camera off her for a minute.

          …idk, this is a situation that could turn sour easily, because Robin’s audience is mostly white conservatives. But she’s not white (or straight?), and she has her little sister watching her with a lot of expectations, and she has publicity to drum up. so…black kid, vs dangerous vigilante, in the eyes of the press. :/

        9. chris73

          As I understand it (not being from the USA) Wonderbread is a derogatory term for a white person, of course that’s from urban dictionary so whether its true or not…but even I know that being given a nick name based on a white, bland bread product is not positive

          Sure theres different expectations between a white guy and a black women but if you look at the individuals its a different story, Sal is held in higher regard then Danny is (within the loose social structure of the extended group of friends), if Danny had called Sal Salty Caramel then she probably would have verbally taken him down (and rightly so) but Danny meekly accepts the what Sal gives him, whether because of the way hes been put down by his parents or because he accepts it because Sal is “cool” and Sal (I’m guessing) is from a more affluent background so has that economic base as well

          Whether or not the TA went along with it doesn’t change that Sal did it to get better grades (she may have liked it as well but that’s beside the point)and its not “using the system” it was sex for better grades and she didn’t need to because she got good grades through the help of a guy she casually disrespects

          I’m not going to comment on the sexual abuse aspect.

          The problem is Sal sees things through a very narrow prism and her advice is based on that but she sees herself as being wordly and wise and that can lead to trouble “the road to hell is paved with good intentions” and all that

        10. zoelogical

          sure, wonderbread’s not positive, but it’s more of a punching up type of thing than a punching down. its a joke very situated in American racial dynamics. like, if the worst thing anyone’s ever called Danny is wonderbread, that’s fine. of course, Sal doesn’t know that Danny’s been called worse; but I don’t think she can really be held accountable for what she doesn’t know and Danny doesn’t tell her. It’s not bullying. It’s like calling someone with freckles “freckles”, or a redhead “ginger”. I don’t think it’s that disrespectful. Other people would feel differently, probably, but…it’s not that big a deal. There’s no power behind it.

          I…feel like the sexual abuse aspect is very critical, actually, since part of what you seem to…dislike? disagree with? is Sal’s sexual actions re: Jason, her TA. She assumes that the only way for her to get around her bad grades is to sleep with him, and he goes along with her, knowing that that’s what she thinks. Jason doesn’t actually give her better grades; and while that breaks off their relationship, it means she can actually get the help she needs from somebody else. as a TA, it would’ve been more responsible to help her study than to have sex with her when she offered, and he was a full half of the equation.

          given that she didn’t actually get the grades…are you more upset that she had sex with a person in a position of authority? or that she had sex that you think is unethical? because as Sal is someone who can be very vulnerable to abuse of power, as a student and as a black woman, I think that those power dynamics are critical. like: if the grades didn’t come into it, it would’ve been two adults having sex.

          …I guess I can see how Sal tends to interpret things through her experiences? and the world’s a lot bigger than one person’s experiences. but she’s had a lot of experiences, it seems like. and like…sure, she’s made bad decisions, but doesn’t everybody? that’s how you learn.

        11. trlkly

          Sal had sex specifically to try and get her grades up. She took advantage of someone who had no intent on having sex with his students, with the expectation that this would grant her favors. It doesn’t matter that it didn’t work.

          Just because she is the student and a minority does not make her always the victim. The dynamic between her and what’s-his-face was always her being abusive to him, while he tried to help her.

          Sure, he shouldn’t have let himself have sex with her, either, but he did not in any way abuse his privilege or power in doing so. Hell, he was the one to make sure that he DIDN’T treat her any differently.

          As for “Wonderbread,” Danny did specifically ask her not to call him that. Before that, it could have been just an affectionate nickname, due to the “punching up” standard you mention. But not afterwards.

          When she said it after he told Sal leave him alone, it was a biting attack. A refusal to care about his feelings, while maintaining a false attitude of pretending it didn’t hurt her feelings.

          Sal isn’t as bad as chris73 acts like she is, but there’s no need to explain away her bad stuff, either.

        12. chris73

          There’s no power behind it when you’re not the target of the name calling though and while its not that bad (there are worse things to be called to be sure) it still doesn’t mean its a good thing to do, its demeaning someone ever so slightly but for Danny its just what he’s come to expect from people, its no less then he deserves (is probably what he’s thinking).

          Basically I’m not replying to it because the author hasn’t mentioned it so the sexual abuse aspect is conjecture and the subject itself is one I keep away from because I have virtually no experience of it and I don’t want to inadvertently upset someone

          I’m not sure that’s what Jason was thinking, I think he saw an attractive young women suddenly open her top and straddle him

          The problem was she thought that having sex would give her the grades so its illegal and unethical but I’ve got no problems with people having sex with anyone they like as long as its consensual, as an example Joe and Penny is fine as I’m assuming he doesn’t have a class with her

          The problem is she thinks she already knows how everything works (like Roz in that respect) and because of that it makes it harder for her to learn, to have empathy (like at how she treated Malaya) or realize that maybe she doesn’t always know what’s best

          I’m not saying that this absolves Amber of any blame for this but that, hopefully, Sal can learn from this as well, that her world view is shaken and, like Joyce, grows from this

        13. Fart Captor

          As a white American dude, I can’t say that I would find being called “wonderbread” all that offensive, especially not as Sal used it. If anything, I might take slight offense to the implication that I was boring, but that would be it. It completely lacks the kind of nastiness that would make me think of it as a slur.

          If Danny indicated that it bothered him and she’d kept calling him that, that’d be another matter. But if it did, there wasn’t the slightest indication.

        14. Fart Captor

          Correction: replace “all that” from the first sentence with “at all”.

  20. NinjaNick

    Let’s get it on!

    1. butts

      aww yeah new slipshine baby

    2. miados

      well would they really constitute celebritys?

    3. foamy

      I’m sure this is merely the opening of a thoughtful and reasoned exchange of views, leading to a peaceful, private, and amicable resolution mutually satisfactory to both parties.

      Nothing can possibly go wrong.

  21. Lan

    Fuck man Amazi-Girl’s gone off the rocker for revenge. I can’t helpp but wonder how this is playing out.

  22. Foxhack

    Amazi-Girl’s script for today has been guest written by Frank Miller. Give him a hand!

    1. tim gueguen

      Miller probably needs a good therapist more than a hand.

    2. Chief_of_Staves

      *cuts a hand off a Robin’s corpse and offers it. Will this do?

      1. Orion Fury

        You forgot about raising medical costs.

  23. Rosicrucian

    I call shenanigans! Beef is not in this strip!

    1. Orion Fury

      Or Guns!

      Wait…

      1. butts

        I think we had quite enough of that last time around with Toedad.

        1. Orion Fury

          True. I’m still on board for shenanigans though.

    2. Packy

      Just wait…

  24. Kernanator

    Grunt.

    1. Orion Fury

      grunt gruNT

      1. Jay Eff

        …gRunt!

  25. Teddae

    Time to predict what will happen next

    Amazi-girl gets caught by the police

    1. miados

      or at least campus security. but im not so sure about the next comic.

      1. Woobie

        Nah, not with her magic jumping skills.

    2. WhoWasI

      My first thought was: Will AG leave via Amazi-rope, in handcuffs, or in a straight-jacket?

      Second thought: No, AG doesn’t want to escape. She wants this over, one way or the other. This won’t end well for her.

  26. Slartibeast Button, BIA

    Overly tortured metaphor alert!

  27. newllend(henryvolt)

    The hell is this a KFC promotion?

    1. Orion Fury

      Personally, I prefer WWE’s over this one. Where’s the guy in the chicken suit?

      1. JustCheetoDust

        Probably eaten by Kamala.

        1. Orion Fury

          I meant here, not there. There it’s The Miz.

  28. Touchfuzzy

    I wonder if Amber will ever realize she isn’t living a superhero origin. She’s living the supervillain one.

    1. butts

      She’s basically Frank Miller’s Batman. She started off as _The Dark Knight Returns,_ but now she’s running into _The Dark Knight Strikes Again_ territory. It’s only a matter of time before we hit _All Star Batman & Robin_ level.

      1. Woobie

        That’s “All Star Stories Batman And Robin”.
        Don’t skew the acronym!

        1. Michael

          Nah nuh nuh nuh nuh nuh nah nuh nuh nuh nuh nuh ASSBAR!

        2. chalmskin

          Sucks to your assbar!

    2. newllend(henryvolt)

      I wouldn’t say origin since this isn’t the beginning more like the end. Also I wouldn’t go that far, but hey you know what they say “you either die a hero or you live long enough to see yourself become the villain.” But hopefully she’ll probably hang it before it comes to that. I have hope that she’ll do the right thing.

    3. Rukduk

      All it takes is one bad day…

      1. Woobie

        The Joker has been shown to be wrong on that assertion.

        1. Chief_of_Staves

          Worked pretty well on that two-faced attorney general. Really put a Dent in his future plans.

        2. Rukduk

          That day simply just wasn’t bad enough. As some lyrics from Gavin Dunn go:
          “I’m just trying to show you /just how much I know you/ I understand just how you feel
          Through your reason away/cause you had one bad day/ and you mind let go of the wheel”

        3. Rukduk

          Jason Todd would beg to differ.

      2. Orion Fury

        Which the Clock King would assert it takes even less time.

  29. cmd1095

    goddamnit Amber just come out and say what your beef with Sal is directly. I’m not sure how Sal will react but it’ll bring about a resolution to this a hell of a lot faster than dancing around the issue

    1. Comic.phile

      Psh direct?
      Amber/Amazigirl is many things, but DIRECT seems past her scope lol.

    2. timemonkey

      If she says it outloud it might make her realise how little Sal actuallydid.

      1. Spencer

        I mean, the actual crux of Amber’s issues like with Blaine and her mental health, but saying Sal did nothing is overselling it.

        1. timemonkey

          Which is why I didn’t say she did nothing. I said she did little.

        2. Spencer

          Curse you for pointing out obvious flaws in my response!

      2. DSL

        Listening to yourself speak is not a universal skill.

      3. Cerberus

        I think that’s why she’s focusing instead on grandiose statements instead. If you’re feeding a persecution complex about a person, then saying they are responsible for stealing your sanity and your man will do serve that much better than admitting that their real crimes are “they trigger me a bunch” and they were once the criminal in a really scary armed robbery.

    3. Emperor Norton II

      Oh, but heroes gotta monologue, don’tcha know?

      No wait, that’s villains…

      …So, AG is actually a villain, then?

      1. Darkoneko

        Maybe.

  30. Chief_of_Staves

    If all that’s left is bone and nerves… That makes it bloodless carnage, yes?

    Her beef is with the fries. Knowing the Damned One, they won’t be poutine their differences aside that quickly, even after they ketchup. No matter how much aggression they’ve mustard, nor how deeply they relish violence. The beef is in a-bun-dance. There will be no topping this.

    1. Orion Fury

      Perhaps one of them is just a bad seed?

      1. Chief_of_Staves

        Intercondimental pun missiles at the ready. Who says? Sesame.

        1. Orion Fury

          Thank you.

        2. Chief_of_Staves

          Very welcome, much obliged. Mayo enjoy the hollandaise I have planned. If you get saucy, then you will be an ancient marinara, and asked to chili.

        3. Orion Fury

          Sounds spicy.

        4. Chief_of_Staves

          That’s the rub.

        5. Orion Fury

          Think the thread getting a bit dry?

        6. Chief_of_Staves

          Yes. And the time of night has my brain sizzling. You may smell my savory essence yet.

        7. Orion Fury

          I wonder if the thread has aged properly yet.

  31. AgentKeen

    Amazi-Girl? More like Emo-Girl.

    1. Rukduk

      I’d say “Reaper-Gal” myself, but Gabriel Reyes can somehow pull off being an edgelord and still be badass. Maybe it’s the costume? Yeah definitely the costume.

      1. inqntrol

        Or the fact that he reloads his shotguns by throwing them on the ground and pulls out others?

        1. Rukduk

          If I remember correctly a fan-made animated short put forth the theory that he has a gang of demons in a different dimension constantly throwing him more.

  32. Cheshrin

    I think AG’s taking a little too much inspiration from comic book monologues.

    1. Bagge

      If she’s going to be a super hero she might as well do it right.

      1. Rukduk

        Then she’s gonna have to change the costume. Heroes wearing colors that bright can’t be broody without coming off as ridiculous. It’s why Zack Snyder took as much read out of Superman’s costume as possible and took the blue to a near-black shade of darkness.

        1. Fart Captor

          Uh, Wolverine had the exact same color scheme and was broody as fuck

        2. Chief_of_Staves

          After an agonizing medical procedure whose precise details are doomed to infinite retconning, AmaziGirl now shoots mini grappling hooks from her knuckles. She also has replaced most of her conversation skills with incoherent growling. Considering how broody the rest of it is, this may be considered a positive.

        3. timemonkey

          Blue and Yellow are the X-Men’s team colours. It makes for exceptions.

        4. Rukduk

          But he also had a really cool mask. AmaziGirl just has an inferior version of a Robin mask. He also actually managed to still have the least amount of color on the team. And in X-men Evolution his dark orange-brown and black version was sick. Plus he had literal edges coming out of him. He kinda gets a pass on the colors because he still had a ton of intimidation factor.

        5. Disloyal Subject

          Wolverine is… exceptional.
          And kinda ridiculous, but in that intimidatingly ridiculous “Are you gonna call him on it?” way.

        6. Leorale

          Totally. He’s a 5’2″ Canadian with claws and perpetual stubble, and he calls people ‘bub’, it’s kind of the best.

    2. Orion Fury

      No Incredibles references? Or is that worn out from yesterday?

  33. detective boomwolf

    To her credit, coming up with something like that in that amount of time is impressive. Either that, or she was running through multiple scenarios in her head as to what Sal would say when she pulled her out and had a different response for each one, which is just as, if not more impressive… nah, that was totally off the top of her head.

    1. Chief_of_Staves

      Some people just like to watch the world burn. Me? I plan horrifying puns in advance for different ways the fire could start and progress.

      1. Orion Fury

        Isn’t that the Scout’s Motto?

        1. Chief_of_Staves

          A Boy Scout once fought a Klingon. Scout’s honor, though the Klingon didn’t believe him. Quoth the Klingon: “You have no honor.” Replied the Scout: “You were not prepared.”

        2. Orion Fury

          If you’re gonna fight, fight to win. You may not have honor in the end, at least you’ll be alive.

        3. Chief_of_Staves

          The Klingon may not have agreed, after falling victim to some fancy knot-tying skills.

        4. Needfuldoer

          Sounds more like Pyro, but all its one-liners sound like “Murr hurr mphuphurrur, hurr mph phrr.”

    2. Disloyal Subject

      Definitely off the top of her head. She’s got the eloquence down pat, at least in this ego, and is in a sufficiently unhappy place that that kind of melodrama just rolls off the tongue.

  34. Roach

    I can’t help but wonder just how many problems in this comic would be solved if Amber stopped beating around the bush for about five minutes.

    1. Orion Fury

      If everyone just talked and shared info? Most likely most of them. Sometimes it’s like reading a Robert Jordan novel.

      1. DaveM

        The AReminds me of the punchline for this OOTS strip: http://www.giantitp.com/comics/oots0854.html

        1. Amazi-Stool

          Interestingly the comic two ones before this fits well in the discussion about how much Amazi-Girl prepared her line.

      2. Roborat

        You mean the series that went on so long the author died before it was finished?

        1. Orion Fury

          Well when you have Load and Loads of Characters combined with a Kudzu Plot things are bound to get long winded, even when they don’t talk. Considering how snappy the last three books seemed to move, I don’t think RJ was exaggerating when he said TOR would either have to create a new kind of binding or include a book cart with every purchase.

        2. Orion Fury

          And arguably it didn’t go on for that long, 14 books with 600-1000 pages per book, across 23 years? That averages less than two years for a doorstop of a book. What about Earth’s Children, 6 books with 500-800 pages over 31 years?

          There’s probably an even longer series with fewer books.

    2. newllend(henryvolt)

      *caugh*

      http://www.dumbingofage.com/2015/comic/book-6/01-to-those-whod-ground-me/prove/

      1. Orion Fury

        Rereading that makes me think Sal was trying to prove something way back, perhaps even trying to do something right, from her view, at the least.

        Oh, and I’d get that looked at Mr. Volt, sounds nasty.

        1. newllend(henryvolt)

          True, point is the story just wants to tease everyone and honestly I can’t stand it when that happens it’s like the same thing that happened in the last Godzilla movie.

        2. Orion Fury

          I’m assuming not the one where they blew up MSG.

  35. Rukduk

    I think my ears just got cut by the sheer edgyness of that statement. I know the AmaziGirl alter actually does believe what she’s saying, but that’s a line you say on a perilous walkway in an industrial plant or a dark alley; NOT IN THE MIDDLE OF A CROWD!!!! Batman gets away with saying dark edgy things because 1. He’s the goddamn Batman and 2. Because it’s almost always in a one on one dialogue, or with a very small group of people that he trust. Saying something like that to someone else in a crowded area simply convinced everyone else that you’re an over dramatic try hard, and worse distracts from the real personal problems that the speaker is dealing with.

    1. Orion Fury

      You forgot 3. He’s the God-Damned Batman!

      1. Rukduk

        You know what I’ve always wondered? In all honesty? What exactly started that meme?

        1. Orion Fury

          ‘know your meme’ may have the answer.

        2. BeatleJWOL

          It’s actually on knowyourmeme. A quote from a Frank Miller Batman comic series.

          http://knowyourmeme.com/memes/im-the-goddamn-batman

        3. Orion Fury

          There’s that name again…

        4. Rukduk

          Huuuhhh…of course it would be Frank Miller. Has the man ever made anything that wasn’t dark, edgy, or brooding?

        5. Vex Godglove

          Frank Miller has always written like an angsty 15 year old trying to prove how edgy and mature he is and failing just as badly.

        6. thejeff

          Not always. It’s always been dark and edgy, but far from always failing. His original runs in Daredevil were really good. Dark Knight Returns was brilliant. Give Me Liberty was excellent and not even that dark – happy ending at least.

          Somewhere along the line he just lost it.

        7. Spencer

          Oh hell yes, Miller’s Daredevil is incredible.

          I think my favourite issue is the very first thing Miller ever did with the character, which was a Spider-Man comic where he becomes temporarily blind and starts lamenting that he’s the most useless human being in the universe because of it and might as well just die now.

          He does this all in front of Daredevil after losing his vision for about five minutes.

          srslytho, Miller Daredevil shows Kingpin’s fall back into the criminal underworld as an unmitigated tragedy that broke a man trying to atone. It has the Gladiator, a mentally ill villain, constantly skirt death and instead everyone pulls together to help him because he deserves help. It has Matt be an unrelenting misogynist asshole to his girlfriend and the comic makes sure to treat this as a bad thing.

          In comparison to WHORESWHORESWHORES it is overwhelmingly idealistic and all the better for it.

  36. Bagge

    “It was a lucky shot. This changes Nothing. You’re WEAK!”

    http://www.dumbingofage.com/2013/comic/book-3/04-just-hangin-out-with-my-family/gorilla/

    (I had to trawl the Blaine-tag to find that quote and kinda want to punch something right now)

    1. Orion Fury

      I hear Mary’s a popular outlet. Well, her face. Miles may vary.

      1. Bagge

        Nah, I will get straight to the source

        http://www.dumbingofage.com/2014/comic/book-4/01-the-only-dope-for-me-is-you/hostage/

        1. Orion Fury

          Panels of Red, Those I Dread.

        2. Bagge

          Well said.

          (and with that, Orion Fury fled)

        3. Emperor Norton II

          And now this thread

          of comments is dead.

          (Not really, instead

          A lot of people just said

          “What the hell was it I just read?!?”)

        4. Orion Fury

          “Was I hit in the head?”

        5. Emperor Norton II

          “Is that why you just bled?”

        6. Bagge

          “A tear then was shed,”
          “For the hero who laid,”
          “Slain in his bed,”
          “While the bread he was fed”
          “And the book he was read”
          “Laid untouched by his bedspread”
          “And the man who he wed”
          “(who was christened as Ted)”
          “Stood up – hands outspread”
          “Cleared his voice and he said”
          “He should have quite, while he still was ahead”

        7. Emperor Norton II

          OK, I just have to check how many more Imperial Internet Points I have left for my daily quota. Once I find out, Bagge and Orion Fury will get them all.

          Still undecided if I should share them equally, or let the two fight for the points…. IN THUNDERDOME!

        8. Orion Fury

          Well I had four to Bagge’s twelve (Bagge repeated one of mine), so I’d recommend using a ratio of 1:3 on them.

        9. Bagge

          Awwww, but I already had my thunderdome pants prepared and everything….

          (also, I totally used rhymezone!)

        10. Orion Fury

          Yeah, they’re first on my list of bookmarks for when I’m not doing poems off the top of my head. Also, my Thuderdome™ pants are at Jessie Street Dry Cleaners.

    2. Disloyal Subject

      Punching things is always an option.
      Don’t punch the front door though. Just because it looks sturdy doesn’t mean you won’t be picking splinters out of your hand and wrist for a month and scratchbuilding a new door since your frame is apparently the custom creation of some long-dead former homeowner.

      1. Emperor Norton II

        Is this an autobiographic comment?

        1. Disloyal Subject

          In a word, yes.

  37. Marvelman

    The whole Amazi Girl vs. Sal sub-plot has gone on long enough. If this finally brings some resolution to it, I will be a happy reader!

    1. gatesealer

      I don’t see how it couldn’t be resolved here. Amber is basically at/beyond the breaking point and Sal is fed up with her shit.

      1. Cerberus

        I have a feeling it’s gonna get much worse before it gets better.

        1. Spencer

          Amber’s escalated to full-on stalking so if she does anything worse she needs to be arrested, and that probably won’t happen for the same reason Ruth isn’t going to get sent home.

  38. kamenhero25

    This cannot possibly end well. Because both people here are just crazy enough that they don’t want to admit they’re wrong when they’ve both screwed the pooch. Wonderful.

    1. Chief_of_Staves

      To quote Emily Dickenson:

      “Much Madness is divinest Sense –
      To a discerning Eye –
      Much Sense – the starkest Madness –
      ’Tis the Majority
      In this, as all, prevail –
      Assent – and you are sane –
      Demur – you’re straightway dangerous –
      And handled with a Chain -”

      The worst mistakes usually make complete and clear sense when you commit them, I’ve found.

  39. LimeSheep

    beef should be in this strip

    1. Disloyal Subject

      He was already willing to participate in beating on Danny for shits and giggles. If her were also one of Robin’s supporters on top of that I think I’d have to start actively disliking him.

  40. Cerberus

    Comic Reactions:

    Oh, Amber/Amazi-girl…

    Panel 2: Oh, noes. I mean, yeah, this was always getting called in and Marcie is a good one to call it in and signal the others, but this could go so so wrong for Sal in all the worst ways. She’s just been stalked, she’s riled up, and she’s in a place that is deeply uncomfortable for her. She’s very likely to be seen as the real threat and that would go so so wrong for her given her skin color. I’m really scared now for the moment the rest of the security personnel swarm in.

    Panels 3 and 4: Especially after she’s now overheard, possibly from the radio saying “ah oughtta kick yer ass” and “Marcie, let go a’me”.

    Like, she has every right to be pissed and done. She’s been stalked by some white girl who’s randomly obsessed with her and has been following her for hours. A white girl who has attacked her once already unprovoked and has repeatedly come off incredibly racist due to her citing of things like her criminal record, acting like there is nothing she could do right and overall obsessing about her “being a villain” even when she saves her life.

    I mean, those are enough awkward Trayvon Martin parallels to have me very very worried for Sal’s safety here especially as she’s basically yelling fuck off at a white girl in front of a likely majority white crowd of “family values” voters.

    And I suspect those worried eyebrows on Marcie in panel 3 might be her realizing that and trying to hold her back lest she get her ass tased and arrested at best.

    Panel 4: And Sal demands the answer. Why is this one woman so obsessed with her, why does she insist on viewing her as a villain even after she saved her life, why has she been stalking her so frequently over the last few days and possibly the last few weeks?

    And…

    1. Orion Fury

      …I wanted to go to bed.

      1. Cerberus

        You can never sleep. *evil laugh*

    2. Mav

      The racial components are an interesting discussion, thank you for bringing it up. I do fear for Sal’s safety, because despite doing her time, she’s a black woman with a criminal record, which basically means she’s on thin ice for the next 25 years. And here comes AG/Amber, doing eveything she can to screw it up and keep her from living her best life. Not to mention how scary it is for someone to keep coming after you like that, making racialized comments, stalking you, harassing you, that shit is fucked up and damaging.

      It’s interesting that you mention that AG is telling Sal that she’s a worthless criminal, when really that’s exactly how Amber feels about herself.

      I also wonder if anyone here will recognize AG from the toedad incident. Maybe she will end up being at least questioned as a result of that. I don’t like all this drawing attention to herself. Shes putting evryone here, including herself, in a shitty position.

    3. Reltzik

      Don’t worry about the racial component. Marcie will explain everything to the rest of security the moment they show up, and all of them will be perfectly capable of understanding sign language.

      1. Fart Captor

        That does not alleviate my concern for Sal’s safety so much as ramp it up.

        I was more worried about Amber, since whatever Amazi-Girl’s endgame is, I think it’s going to be really bad for her if it actually plays out. But now I have to worry about Sal getting caught in the aftermath 🙁

        1. Spencer

          Every time Amber so much as looks at Sal funny she’s gotten her ass kicked. Sal will be fine.

        2. Fart Captor

          I’m not worried about that. I’m worried about people jumping to the rescue of the campus superhero being ‘attacked’ by an angry black girl.

        3. Spencer

          Huh. Hadn’t thought of that.

          I don’t think that’s what will happen, but I can see your point.

    4. zoelogical

      thank you for continuing to bring up the racial context

  41. Raibean

    I see that “introduction to Shakespeare” class is paying off

  42. Mav

    I wonder when Amber/AG will get to the point where she stops blaming Sal for everything that happens in her life. I understand that she’s been victimized so many times, but she also needs help and beating up Sal is not going to fix that or erase her shitty experiences. Once you really get into that thinking, it’s a horrible cycle of you treating people who have wronged you (real or imagined) like shit, and never taking responsibility, which is a terrible road to go down.

    I totally understand that she may never forgive Sal for the robbery- which is fine. Thats life. But they were both 13, Sal already paid for her crime, and obsessing over it for the rest of her life is not going to make her better. I think it’s easier to heap blame for certain things on someone else, rather than confront your own truths. Even to think about it, beating up Blaine didn’t work, so maybe she feels beating up the second person she has beef with might do the trick.

    I feel like I’m sounding harsh, but I’ve had way too much experience with the “you made me this way” bullshit.

    And, I wonder of they will talk or Sal will probably realize Amber was the one that stabbed her. The thing is, I feel like once she gets the whole story she won’t even be that angry about it (the stabbing, I mean). She knows what she did was terribly wrong at this point. I hope maybe she matured enough to look at things on the flip side and understand Amber’s reaction at that time. I really think Sal cares more that Amber’s stalking her and harassing her, more than the fact that Amber doesn’t like her.

    To me young Amber and young Sal had more in common than their adult selves, I think.

  43. Cerberus

    Panel 5: Oh… oh noes. Amazi-girl has been going down a bad road. This is known. Amazi-girl has been breaching her boundaries and slipping more and more into paranoid delusion to justify her continued hounding of an innocent 18-year-old girl. And Amazi-girl has dipped into the sunk costs fallacy by sacrificing her relationship to this delusion and using it to justify her continued descent.

    And it’s a problem that can happen to a “golden alter” seen as “so much better” than the rest, because no one is perfect and that “perfection” is usually hiding a down side. This confrontation was always going to happen, with Amazi-girl spouting out all her paranoid bullshit all over Sal and to the detriment of her public image and possibly the rest of what she has to lose.

    And I feel so awful for her, because I’ve been there. Giving too much power to a “golden alter”, ignoring the red flags, and then having a big explosion as that alter goes off the rails and put the whole of myself in danger. And unlike her, I was lucky enough to have it occur in private and be inwardly directed only resulting in some suicide attempts and a crapton of self-injuring.

    Amber is set to lose everything. Her public image, her support at the newspaper (Daisy is in the audience and if Amazi-girl looks too much the paranoid racist she’s devolving into, I doubt she’s going to be penning her a positive write-up the next day), her dignity and self-respect. And she’s on a road where she’s set up to keep on blaming Sal for each thing she sacrifices by her own actions because she can’t accept the truth.

    That her golden alter isn’t “better” than Amber. Isn’t the Amber “Amber should have been” to earn her dad’s love and lack of abuse. Isn’t any more moral or devoid of triggers or fears or negative behaviors. Isn’t someone she can dump all her hopes on and just ride out.

    That Amazi-girl and Amber are two sides of her same coin and both have strengths and positive traits that can serve her well if she can recognize that and see the flaws in Amazi-girl as easily as she can see the flaws in Amber.

    In fact, one of those strengths is Amber’s ability to bend, to adjust, to forgive, to change. I’ve noted before that Amazi-girl was fucked the moment she decided that Amber/AG decided Amazi-girl’s strength came in the form of her being “consistent”. Because once she started finding ways to fit her obsessive hatred of Sal into it (because in her head, she needs to hate Sal and blame her for everything otherwise she might have to blame her dad and in her mind, she’s just her dad waiting to happen so there’s a limit to how much she’s willing to blame him for how much she got fucked up).

    Well, at that point, she was always going to become less moral, more judgmental, more dangerous to her campus, because that inflexibility prevents change. Change that needs to happen. And that means recognizing Amber’s strengths and Amazi-girl’s flaws.

    And that’s hard. I know from hard experience. But it’s a necessary step in her becoming stable and no longer a threat to herself and others (i.e. Sal and anyone who is seen as friends with her).

    And for Sal… I feel so bad because she already has enough trouble letting her past go and letting her truly exist in the present she hard fought for. Already has trouble making friends and well, Amazi-girl is not in a good space and has already decided anyone close to Sal must be corrupted by her. What does that say about Marcie or Carla or Malaya or any of her crew? What will Amazi-girl do to them, especially if Marcie steps in to defend her long-time friend from the violent white girl who’s attacked her once already?

    1. Orion Fury

      Hope that she gets sucked into the singularity?

      1. Orion Fury

        I still got nothing. Must be having an off day.

  44. Idontcarenomore

    AG is not ‘randomly’ obsessed with Sal. She is fully obsessed with her because she has remembered that Sal is the one who robbed the convenience store that Amber was in with Ethan; and scared the pants off her.
    Then her abusive father taunted her with what a wimp she was and Amber snapped.
    She grabbed Sal’s knife that she had used to rob the store with, and coming up behind her, stabbed her through the hand with it.

    Sal doesn’t know she was the girl in the store and not sure she would care if she did. That robbery was not about Amber – in Sal’s life it was way more that one scared kid in a store.

    But, Amber has made it about her, and for whatever reason, blames Sal as a source of her problems. Sal should be pissed at Amber for stabbing her, if she knew it.

    1. AriBerri

      My sentiments exactly. Frankly, I’m pretty sick and tired of Amber’s beef with Sal. I understand it’s not her fault, but she is being downright delusional about this entire thing and it’s getting irritating that it’s becoming ALL that there is to her.

      Here’s how I see it: Yes it was scary when Sal was robbing the store. But I highly doubt Sal intended to actually hurt anyone. Amber on the other hand snapped and stabbed her out of rage when Sal wasn’t even aware there was a threat near her. It’s not Sal’s fault that Amber is damaged, it is Amber’s fault that Sal is damaged. And Amber needs to get over herself and her god complex and deal with the real reasons behind her rage.

      1. Spencer

        It’s not Sal’s fault that Amber is damaged, it is Amber’s fault that Sal is damaged.

        wat

        1. LimeSheep

          amber stabbed her in the hand
          pretty sure thats the literal damage they were talking about

        2. Spencer

          She was also recently violently traumatized and her dad egged her on. She’s about as responsible for that as Ruth is for being depressed.

        3. Derek

          er… trauma doesn’t excuse attacking others, especially not stabbing a literally defenseless person

        4. Spencer

          I’m saying that Amber was in a mental state where she wasn’t responsible for her actions. She needs to face consequences for that regardless, and we still don’t know how that played out other than her avoiding criminal charges.

        5. LimeSheep

          good to know theres nothing wrong with stabbing people as long as you have an excuse

        6. Spencer

          That is exactly what I’m saying.

          Thank you for clearly expressing that for the rest of the class.

        7. thejeff

          Can we lose the debate over which 13 year old abuse victim is really the villain here?
          Cause it’s creepy as hell.

        8. Spencer

          Also this.

    2. Mav

      These are very good points. Misery has a tendency to make people really self absorbed. Maybe we’ll get to see the robbery- from Sal point of view.

    3. Cerberus

      One among many reasons why her father deserves most if not all the blame that Amazi-girl is trying to shoehorn in on Sal because she identifies too strongly with her dad to fully blame him for how he hammered home with his abuse right after an utterly terrifying ordeal and then blocked any attempts to get her real professional help afterwards (because he was probably afraid his abuse would be outted).

      1. Emperor Norton II

        “(because he was probably afraid his abuse would be outted).”

        Another, equally horrible explanations exists:

        “There is nothing wrong with my daughter that I cannot fix myself!”

        See, I think Blaine is clearly one of those people that truly believe they are in the right all the time. As such, he might very well not even be considering that someone would take a look at his daughter and think she’s being abused. How could she? She’s being raised by him, Blaine, who is right. All the time. The only problems she has is that she’s weak, and that is because of her mother. So that thought might never even strafe a single one of his neurons. He simply knows better than all doctors and professionals in all the world.

        And the reason I think this might very well be true is because AG most certainly has a similar problem; probably inherited from him. She will not, she cannot consider herself to ever be wrong, because if she is, then all she has accomplished is… Well, being a villain. And she cannot be a villain, because she is AmaziGirl, dammit!

        And I say “all”, because this kind of thinking tends to carry with it the “perfect or Hell” type of thinking. If everything is not perfect, then it must be horrible, period*. So therefore, AG -must- be right all the time, even when rational parts of her knows she is not./

        Amber/AmaziGirl is not Blaine. But she does have some of his traits. And that, I think, is the worst thing he could ever have done to her. She is aware of some (her violent tendencies), but this particular trait, she’s not truly figured out yet, I think.

        *for a real life example of this, just look at anti-vaccers; even thouch vaccines has saved and improved the lives of billions and billions, for these people, -one- bad story (which usually turns out to be false anyway) is enough to claim that vaccines are horrible.

        1. Emperor Norton II

          Oh yeah, forgot to cut the italics there. Sorry.

        2. zoelogical

          part of it, too, is that Blaine wanted to control her, completely; but he also wanted to make her violent. Amazi-girl’s violence, to some degree, is triggered by feelings of anger and helplessness – things that Blaine wanted to instill in her. He wanted to be the one to give, and to take away. He never expected Amber to turn on him – to find an outlet for that rage and helplessness that she could control.

          so far, so good. but she’s still turning to violence as a way to fix a situation in which she is both angry and helpless. she’s still looking for someone to blame. she’s still looking for easy answers for her pain. and what’s worse, she’s dissociated to the point that trying to synthesize her experience/trauma is going to be very, very difficult. inflicting more violence is only going to add to that trauma, and possibly that fragmentation.

          Amber/Amazi-girl hasn’t really begun to process any of it. and that is, well – that’s all on her, now, because she’s an adult, and because she’s hurting people. it’s her responsibility as a person not to do that. it sucks so much that she’s so screwed up, but that’s not Sal’s fault, and she needs to recognize that before she does more things she can’t take back.

          …hmm. I guess…I feel like the construction of identity here works as follows: Blaine spends Amber’s life telling her how weak she is and how right he is. and if he’s going to be always right, he needs someone to be always wrong. Amber spends a huge chunk of her time in fantasy, because it’s preferable to her reality. so when she envisions a version of herself who can be who she wants to be, she envisions somebody who takes on her anger and unstoppableness. she envisions somebody who is better than herself. she pours the things she likes about herself into Amazi-girl and keeps the things that she can’t like in Amber. as if Amber could stop existing, things would be better. and that’s what she acts on.

          targeting Sal is like targeting herself, kind of; it’s targeting someone who brings out all the things Amazi-girl doesn’t like about herself. the questions she hasn’t asked, the things she couldn’t predict, the weaknesses she couldn’t cover. the idea that maybe she lives in a world that’s bigger than punching evil in the face until it learns the error of its ways. and it’s learning that complexity that’s going to make or break her.

        3. Emperor Norton II

          “Amber/Amazi-girl hasn’t really begun to process any of it. and that is, well – that’s all on her, now, because she’s an adult, and because she’s hurting people. it’s her responsibility as a person not to do that. it sucks so much that she’s so screwed up, but that’s not Sal’s fault, and she needs to recognize that before she does more things she can’t take back.”

          In the most technical sense of the world, she is an adult.

          In every functional sense of the word, I submit that she is not. Because we don’t just turn “responsible” when we turn 18 years old. We turn responsible when we have been properly taught to be responsible. But Blaine did not teach her that responsibility. In fact, he taught her pretty much the opposite (as per my previous post). So no, Amber is far, far away from being an adult.

          Mind you, I am agreeing with you on things too. That Amber has only begun to analyze herself, and that she needs to do a lot more, and she’s going to need lots of help doing it.

          I also think it’s interesting that you say “Targeting Sal is like targeting herself”, not the least because in a way, the roles of these two have sort of reversed since that robbery store day. Sal has (mostly, but definitely not fully) spent her years maturing, realising why she did what she did, and how to stop the negative spiral. She was at her absolute rock bottom there, but is now back up to a (relatively speaking) much healthier place. Not fully healthy, but she’s getting there.

          Meanwhile, Amber… OK, she wasn’t exactly starting on a high note, but she -started- a spiral of self-destruction that day. And in a way, I mean that quite literally. On that day, she started the path that Amber the person had to slowly fade, eventually to completely disappear.

          So now, it will be -very- interesting to see how it will play out, with the roles reversed.

        4. zoelogical

          I guess for me, the way I think about it is that the process of becoming an adult is all about owning your shit. like…Amber may not emotionally be an adult…but she’s still the only adult present that can successfully and completely be there for herself? Who knows who she is, what she’s gone through, what she feels, what she needs. IDK, I’m kind of putting this in views of responsibilities: but there’s the responsibility she has to other people, and then the responsibility that she has to herself. Being a responsible adult, I think, is about rising to those challenges. But like that also depends on whether or not you have to be reliable to the people in your life, I guess, and whether that’s a value to you. and…what kind of reliable you have to be?

          idk, I don’t feel comfortable talking about her as a child, because she’s not. She’s not…unaware…of how she can affect other people. Her dad and her mom didn’t teach her how to handle those responsibilities, but those responsibilities are still there, and they still need to be taken care of, whether she’s prepared for it or not. I…I feel like I’m being harsh, maybe. But everyone gets to be held accountable for their actions? Blaine may have started this trend, but Amber’s the one who has to live with it, and she’s the one who decides what she does with it. Here and now, where Blaine isn’t forcing her to do anything.

          …haha, I’m not really sure of how to handle her as a character right now at all. Like…nothing’s stopping her from going out and punching a tree, you know? Or finding a coping mechanism that isn’t writing smut filled with blood and gore. Doing things that aren’t filling her head with more violence, anger and pain. But…Amber doesn’t know how to tell herself no, and she needs someone else to tell her no. Which isn’t…a bad need…but she’s gonna cross a lot of boundaries before she gets there.

          And the thing is that it’s not like Amber ever fully stopped *existing*. She’s just…separated from herself, it seems? she’s not fully able to grapple with who and what she is, or her circumstances. this is a mental illness: she is incapable of dealing with these things in a healthy way, and she needs professional help. she needs to choose getting help. she needs to accept that she’s a current ill-functioning mess.

          …she needs to value herself. but that’s not something she’s capable of.

        5. Emperor Norton II

          “Her dad and her mom didn’t teach her how to handle those responsibilities, but those responsibilities are still there, and they still need to be taken care of, whether she’s prepared for it or not.”

          If she was not taught how to handle these responsibilities, how exactly can you still expect her to handle them? To me, that is not only being harsh, but I think of it as… Well, as somewhat absurd. It feels to me like telling someone they should just have to cook a full meal from scratch as soon as they turn 18, when their parents never did anything but take-out and TV dinners. The parents may have stopped forcing them to eat at Burger King, but that is more than likely exactly where they will end up anyway.

          And even though she tries at times, Amber/AG is still not good at seeing how her actions affect other people. She’s really not. It’s all tied up with Being Right all the time. If you’re Being Right all the time, you never stop to look at how your actions affect other people*.

          And then I think that your last paragraph sort of contradicts the previous ones. I mean, I agree that she has mental illness going on now and in a huge way. I agree that she needs professional help. I agree that she needs to want it for it to have a chance of working. And I definitely agree that Amber needs to value Amber!

          …But all of these things are also exactly why I think she’s not a responsible adult. Those things are why she cannot be expected to take care of her responsibilities. Those reasons are why it’s so hard for me to hold her accountable the same way I would hold accountable someone who truly knows what they are doing, but choose to do it anyway.

          Now, I can understand the reluctance to call Amber a child. It does seem… Well, infantilising, I guess. But at the same time, I have a hard time just accepting the word “adult” because of all the implications that carries with it.

          And she does need to face consequences for her actions. Just so we’re clear on that. I’m not suggesting she should not. But those consequences need to be of a rehabilitating character first and foremost. Plus, in any way, being confronted with herself is going to be pretty damn harsh for her as it is. As bad as she is, she still hasn’t reached bottom, and I think that at this point, hitting that bottom will be needed before she can get better. And that will be punishment enough as it is.

          *Incidentally, Sal is (with the exception of Malaya) quite knowledgeable these days about how her actions affect other people. Which is one more reason I think she would have been the best choice to talk to AG, except AG is not listening to Sal, because Sal is The Enemy.

        6. zoelogical

          ohgod I had such a long post and then I accidentally backspaced and it is GONE. no. nooooooooo

          I. okay. let’s try this again. Neither of Amber’s parents seem to know how to fulfill these responsibilities, either, so how could they teach Amber? even if it was their choice to have a child; even if it was their job to teach her. I mean. Isn’t this how we evolve? one person recognizes a need and tries to fill it and changes their paradigm. and it’s…not fair, at all, for Amber to have to do this, but if she doesn’t do it, who will? if it isn’t an individual’s responsibility in the moment to push back at their circumstances, then whose is it? interrelating forces beyond anyone’s control or ability to predict is an answer I can accept, but not really like.

          I guess I’d look at the food metaphor with Amber not as someone who’s been raised on Burger King, but as someone who’s been starving their entire life. and if you’ve been starving, you’re malnourished; it’s difficult to understand that food is even a real need. you have to work your way up from soups and easily digestible foods to even get near a burger without vomiting. but if she’s attacking people because they have a burger that she can’t even eat, then…she really needs help.

          idk, I’m processing through this as someone who lived through emotional abuse/neglect/codependency for a long, long time, and just really trying to make sense of Amber and her story. Amber and I are very different people; for instance, I don’t beat people up as a hobby. The thing that both screwed me up and saved me was that I always prioritized other people’s needs and hurts over my own, so when I saw I was hurting people I got help. But Amber’s had to really turn off her empathy in order to be Amazi-girl.

          but one of the things that was super comforting to me was the idea of adulthood. like: I was an independent person. the things I was doing to myself were the result of my own actions; things I could change and control. that someday, there’d be a time when I was confident and secure and stable, emotionally financially and physically, a responsible person who could change their own circumstances. it’s a fairytale I told myself, but it kept me going.

          because, I mean, there are plenty of irresponsible adults out there. there’s a level of which adulthood is just a line drawn between protected and unprotected, control and agency. adulthood is what you make of it. and like agency, it’s something nobody is going to give to you, I feel like? it’s something you have to take and give to yourself.

          the thing is – that mental illness is not what makes Amber/Amazi-girl violent. it’s…her traumatization, sure – feelings of helplessness/anger are a trigger for her violence. but her dissociation, in and of itself, that is not what makes her violent. her abuse, acclimating her to violence, training her in it, pushing her towards it: yes. But there’s nothing stopping her from going and beating up some trees instead of stalking Sal; nothing stopping her from finding a coping mechanism that isn’t bloody, gory fanfiction. And if she keeps on going down this path, she might not be able to be rehabilitated; she’s just going to go to jail. And, hey, maybe that’ll be her rockbottom. But she keeps choosing violence, and that’s on her.

        7. thejeff

          What bothers me here is that in one breath you talk about her mental illness and in the next you talk about “nothing stopping her”. That’s the point. Her illness is stopping her. She tried to find a coping mechanism. Amazi-Girl is that coping mechanism. She tried to channel the violence into something useful and positive. We can argue over that was wrong from the start, but it’s definitely all gone wrong now, and she can’t see it.
          She needs support. She needs help finding better coping mechanisms. She’s in bad shape and just saying “she keeps choosing violence, and that’s on her” doesn’t help. It’s not an answer.

          It’s like saying there was nothing stopping Ruth from getting out of bed and getting help. She’s choosing to lie there and wait to die. That’s not how depression works. And it’s not how Amber’s toxic cocktail of disassociation and PTSD works either.

      2. Spencer

        This entire thread has been a fascinating read.

  45. Saucy Jack

    “Also, the numerous crippling psychological problems that all of my friends and professors have been too unobservant and/or apathetic to recommend therapy for. You see those too, I guess.”

    1. Fart Captor

      You mean the ones that she has very effectively hidden from almost everyone?

      Ethan and Danny (mostly Danny) are the only people who have had enough of a glimpse into what’s going on to even worry about her, and when Danny tried to reason with her and tell her this was unhealthy, she dumped him, and shut him out of her life. “Recommending therapy” would have gone about as well.

  46. Plasma Mongoose

    HOLY COW SHE’S UTTERLY MAD!

    1. Saucy Jack

      Udderly mad?

      1. Orion Fury

        Mudderly Add?

  47. Synnerman

    Coco Puffs on full display.

    Although I wonder if Sal is like A-Ko and become Super Sal when the gloves come of… because she never takes them off.

  48. Derek

    so who wants to bet with me that Amazi-girl tries to list Sal’s crimes but the only thing that’s remotely relevant (but hard to prove) is underage drinking?

    1. figureaddict

      If that happens, hopefully she will let slip the incident at the convenience store all those years ago so Sal can finally get clued in onto what’s going on. Then really Crack Amber/Amazing-Girls phsycy with a genuine apology.

      1. Nightsbridge

        “I’m sorry you stabbed straight through my hand when I was restrained and no threat to anybody.”

        1. Spencer

          Well yes, but I don’t think Sal feeling some kind of guilt for her “involvement” in Amber’s psychological torment is impossible.

          Look at it this way. Sal has spent her entire life chafing her under her parents. She probably knows that they aren’t intending to hurt her, but they did anyway. So Sal goes and does something stupid and violent for attention, and because she does not give a fuck she grabs a kid and threatens to stab him in the neck. It is entirely possible that Sal figures that kid stabbed her for revenge, and, well, if someone hurt Marcie the way Sal hurt Ethan, do you think she’d hold herself back?

          No matter how you slice it, if Sal hadn’t committed that robbery and taken Ethan hostage, then the above strip wouldn’t be happening right now*. For someone who’s spent her entire life suffering the consequences of her parents’ ignorance, I could see why “I did a thing that ended up causing you years of catastrophic psychological pain” might cause Sal to view Amber with some empathy.

          *No I’m not blaming Sal for causing Amber’s psychological problems.

        2. figureaddict

          Exactly!

        3. Fart Captor

          Sal already showed empathy towards AG after saving her from the truck. She recognized the same kind of anger that had been tearing her up when she was younger. Its why she told Danny to stop enabling her

        4. Spencer

          Yes, but Sal doesn’t know that Amazi-Girl is the kid who stabbed her.

        5. Emperor Norton II

          This is true, and I think it only reinforces Fart Captor’s point. If Sal can emphasize with AG, whom she doesn’t know at all, and whose only interaction before the rescue was to attack Sal… Then I’m pretty damn confident that Sal can emphasize with the girl she took hostage five years back.

        6. Spencer

          It’s where I think Sal is guaranteed to go with this.

          Sufficed to say I’m very excited to finally see the truth come to light.

        7. Emperor Norton II

          I’m very… nervous. Like you, I think Sal will say as much of the right things as possible, because she will be emphasizing once the truth comes out.

          I’m just not sure if AG will listen.

        8. Spencer

          The scene I am most interested in is when Amber ungloves Sal and sees the results of her actions staring her right in the face. What is it going to mean to Amber when she realizes that Sal is an actual person that she hurt?

        9. Emperor Norton II

          That is an interesting way of making Amber realise what she’s been doing…

          …But I guess the reason I am worries that that and the other “good things happen between Amber and Sal” scenarioes won’t be happening, is that all of them requires practically everything to go perfectly right. And there are soooo many more ways for things to go wrong. Some of them oh-so-horribly too.

        10. Zach

          Not to undercut your point, but I believe the word is “empathize.”

        11. Fart Captor

          That’s a good point. I don’t think Sal would still harbor resentment about the stabbing itself, as much as for the scar that it left.

          We don’t know anything about why Sal is so adamant about keeping it hidden. I strongly doubt the reason is simply that the scar is unsightly. Much like how nothing she does is ever be good enough for her parents treat her as well as her brother, no amount of atonement will get rid of that scar. If she’s come to see it like that, as a kind of physical manifestation of how she’ll always be unfairly marked as “not good enough”, she could have a lot of anger and resentment for the person that gave it to her.

  49. Romanticide

    Amber needs actual terapy… a lot…

    1. Deviant

      I think most characters here do. Therapy for everyone!

      1. Orion Fury

        It’s only been a few minutes, but why not.

        Who gets Shock Therapy?

  50. WhoWasI

    So is there anyone AG/Amber would listen to now to talk her down from the virtual ledge she’s on?

    Danny? Nope, already failed. Dina? Doubtful. AG/Amber’s logic functions are broken. Blaine? HELL NO. Ethan? Maybe. They got long history. Who else?

    1. Spencer

      Ethan is the best bet at this point, but I also figure eventually realizing the full scope of her actions against Sal will make her realize that she needs to stop.

    2. Fart Captor

      The only other people who know Amber well are her mother, which seems unlikely, or else there’s Mike, but he needs to stay the fuck away from this situation.

      I think Ethan would stand the best chance of “defeating” Amazi-Girl so Amber can get the help she needs. Sal might even prove an unlikely ally there.

      1. Rian

        You know I could see Mike stepping in and it working out really well. Not because he says anything constructive, but because he pisses her off to the point where she attacks him and the realization that she beat the pants off someone who didn’t technically do anything snaps her into acknowledging how crazy she’s getting. And since he’s apparently a masochist everyone wins!

        1. Jess

          Mike doesn’t know that Amber is AG.

        2. Orion Fury

          I thought he did.

        3. Fart Captor

          If he does, it hasn’t been shown. I think Ethan, Danny, Dorothy and Dina are then only people who definitely know

    3. WhoWasI

      I keep hoping someone can get Amazi-girl to suddenly realize that Sal is not the problem, Blaine and Amber are the problem. And Amber needs to let go of Blaine’s influence to move beyond Amazi-girl.

      (Yeah. I’ve said it before. Willis is turning me into a crazy optimist)

    4. Emperor Norton II

      Frankly, I believe the best person to get AG down from her ledge is Sal, once Sal gets down from her (rather understandable) “I am sick of being stalked” rage. Get the worst of that adrenaline/anger rush combo down, and she’s probably in a better situation than anyone to tell AG what is what.

      But as we both know, AG is definitely not listening to Sal. At all.

      So AG has to listen to the same person that she will never, ever listen to.

      1. Fart Captor

        I agree. I think Amber would be willing to listen to Sal, since she’s allowed to see things in other than absolutes. I don’t see how’d she could manage to take the reins though, since she can barely pass Sal in the hall without having a panic attack.

        1. WhoWasI

          Could this all be the classic scenario where the two foes have to beat each other into exhaustion, verbally and or physically, in order to actually talk and become best friends?

          (Yeah, I know, wildly optimistic.)

        2. Emperor Norton II

          “I think Amber would be willing to listen to Sal, since she’s allowed to see things in other than absolutes. ”

          I disagree. I think that the problem here is that Amber/AG is having severe problems with seeing things in other than absolutes.

          The reason for this opinion is that A/G thinks of Sal saving her to be the second worst thing she ever did. Sal is the enemy. Sal must be evil. She must be! This is just about an absolutist view as it gets.

          And that ties in with my comment above where I talk about how I think Amber inherited a trait from her father where she thinks that she is always in the right. Which was a long comment, so probably best to not repeat all of it here.

        3. Fart Captor

          I’m not sure you’re actually disagreeing with me so much as missing a key distinction I was making. Amazi-Girl sees things in terms of absolutes. Amber, on the other hands, is allowed to be inconstant, and is much more reasonable. But Amber isn’t at the wheel right now.

          I would hesitate to say Amber inherited those traits though. Her temper perhaps, but I’d say the rest was more of her internalizing her father’s abuse, combined with the mechanisms she used to survive it going haywire.

        4. Emperor Norton II

          OK, fair enough that I misunderstood you. Of course, I’d still argue that the Amber is also one in absolutes (see her reaction to Danny drinking, or for that matter, Amber’s reaction to Danny talking to Sal*) to some extent.

          And even worse, Amber is not allowing herself to be inconsistent so much as a consistent failure. As someone else said, if Amber was allowed to look upon herself as better than she thinks she is, and AG was allowed to reckognise her flaws, things would be better.

          *Of course, at this point, it’s hard to say if that particular conversation was (voice font notwithstanding) at least AG talking without her mask on… Yeah, it’s getting really hard to tell exactly what is going on in that brain, isn’t it?

        5. thejeff

          That was all Amazi-Girl. Danny says “Oh! Hey, Amber.” and she replies “Wrong.”
          No cheek blushes after the first panel where she sees Sal. And most obviously, that first strip is tagged Amber & Amazi-Girl. All the others in that sequence are just tagged Amazi-Girl.

          Amber vanished as soon as she saw Sal.

        6. TabofManyColors

          …holy crap, Willis is good at this writing thing.

        7. TabofManyColors

          (also, in case it’s not obvious, that is meant to be read with an awestruck tone, not an incredulous one)

  51. WhoWasI

    But on the bright side, there’s a very good chance Amber’s room is going to be available for Becky to move in with Dina!

    1. Fart Captor

      Since Amazi-Girl’s identity would have to be exposed at that point, Becky would absolutely hate that. Benefiting from the misfortune of one of the people who rushed in to save her from her dad? The one who most visibly risked her own life, and who Becky has not had a chance to thank properly?

      I think it would be like torture for her

      1. WhoWasI

        I’ll be very surprised if AG’s identity isn’t exposed before this night (in comic time) is over. Then I guess it come down to whether Becky thought Amber was better off for having been exposed. There are similarities here to whether Ruth and Dana are better off exposed. Recurring theme in DoA?

    2. DinaWho

      There’s a shot of (probably Amber) waking up in what looks like her room coming up, so I wouldn’t count on that.

  52. JepMZ

    Dammit! Tell her the truth!!!!!!!!! AHHHHHH!!!

  53. BenRG

    Prediction 1: Marcie’s reinforcements will turn up as Sal and Amazi-Girl are laying into each other (possibly only verbally). The two refuse to behave so will get thrown out of the venue. The arc ends with the two of them, sitting on a wall and feeling persecuted and hard-done-by, comparing hard luck stories.

    Prediction 2: Sal is going to barely remember the convenience store robbery and is going to be horrified beyond words that it was so significant to Amber that it has led to such dire mental health consequences for someone.

    1. Miffed Mab

      I think Sal’s gonna remember getting her hand stabbed

      1. BenRG

        The hand, yes? The people and exactly what happened that night? Possibly not.

    2. Emperor Norton II

      Oh, she remembers the convenience store robbery. Trust me, she remembers.

      Because if nothing else, she will never, ever be allowed to forget it.

      But also because she knows herself very well. She’s obviously spent a lot of time reflecting on who she is and more importantly, why. And the robbery was the start of that introspection. And as such, I’d say that it is as important a moment to her as it was to Amber.

      1. Spencer

        I was thinking about this when this strip went up, isn’t it strange that whenever the robbery is brought up, it’s “holding up a convenience store” and not “you took someone hostage with a knife”? You’d think threatening to murder someone would be the most shameful part of that night.

        I’ve theorized that the Walkertons cut a deal with Blaine and the Siegals, and I think the fact that the robbery is the only thing brought up against Sal might be proof of that. This way Amber avoids criminal charges (and thus, court mandated therapy), and Sal only faces charges for two robberies, which I think falls neatly with the fact that Sal wasn’t sent to juvie by the courts, but was sent to Tennessee by her parents. Robberies aren’t as big a deal as hostage taking at knife point.

      2. figureaddict

        Definitely. She didn’t start that introspection because she got caught, she started it because her actions led to her being stabbed.

        1. thejeff

          I don’t think we’ve got any evidence one way or the other. I suspect it was the whole set of events – including all the consequences and the years away from her family. If everything else was the same, but Amber hadn’t stabbed her, do you think she would’t have bothered with introspection and would have graduated to full-on gang member or something?

  54. zoelogical

    yikes amber

    please…please stop

    1. zoelogical

      either that or burst out into an evanescence concert and reconcile those feelings

      1. zoelogical

        you can have a backscreen playing your greatest hits from your fanfiction

  55. BenRG

    I like to imagine that “Well… ,i>that’s a bit much!” is Sal in a quiet ‘eep’ tone of voice. She wasn’t expecting such a dramatic turn of oratory.

  56. Keulan

    You know Amber, things might be easier for you if you try to talk to Sal for once, instead of attempting to start fights with her and answering her questions with ridiculous metaphors.

  57. Darkoneko

    Don’t ask your friend to let you fight when she’s working security for the event you’re attending, Sal. That kinda go against the job description.

  58. Solenoid

    Kinda hoping Sal takes the mask away.

  59. Willoughby Chase

    Ah, one more for psych eval.

    At this rate, the comic will be set in the medical centre.

    At least we know who pissed on AG’s chips.

  60. Zaxares

    I really shouldn’t escalate this further, but I really do want to see Sal and Amazi-girl in a no-holds barred brawl to see who’d come up on top. So…

    FIGHT! FIGHT! FIGHT! FIGHT! FIGHT! 😀

  61. philip p petrunak

    “Let them fight.”

  62. thumb

    Always sounds better in your head

  63. Darkoneko

    Just occured to me that Maecie likely wouldn’t be able to keep those glasses on the job, unless she medically needed them.

  64. Torra

    Sal: Don’t hold me back!

    Sal, that’s kind of Marcie’s job. Not metaphorically, I mean she’s literally a security guard, she cant let you and Amazi-girl get into a fight hahaha

    Also wow AG, that is on a whole other level of creepy. Amber really needs to get some help

  65. 6Qubed

    I was expecting more Linkin Park references from the comments section

    1. Spencer

      We’re all asleep right now.

  66. George Wiman

    When the cops show up, they’re not going to know who to taze. My guess; both. I mean, Sal, for obvious reasons b/c cops, black-person-in-a-confrontation and all that. But non-compliant person in a superhero costume? That’s a tazing.

    1. George Wiman

      “white person”

      1. zoelogical

        and cosplay, i guess you could argue

        argh there are so many variables here that could go wrong

  67. Regalli

    *Looks both ways*
    *Sees that there is no stopping this trainwreck*
    *Sigh* Well, popcorn anyone? It’s salted with our tears.
    Because you are both so screwed over this one by now.

  68. Brian

    Congratulations, Amber, you’ve now lived long enough to become the villain. And you’ve got the first rule of villainy down pat: answer someone’s straightforward question by pontificating in vague language. If your dialogue continues non-stop for the next several panels, more villainy points.

  69. Sterling

    Wwwwwww,,ait a second…

    In Shortpacked!, Amber’s eventual husband was Mike. Mike, who, up until the point where they did get together, Amber vilified, and reviled, and had an OBSESSION with, for the things he’s done. He only dated her once she proved she was just as demented as he was.

    So, it kind of makes sense, doesn’t it, that… that Amber would have a sort of. Connection to nemeses? And like. More women loving women is always a good thing.

    Does anyone else think that when Sal and Amber do, finally, likely only by literally tying the both of them up in the same room (which… kind of feels like something Mike would end up having a hand in), TALK to one another, and realize what one another’s deal actually is…

    I mean, it’s obvious that they’ll end up being friends, right?

    But. What,,, if.

    Hoo boy. What if they do a smooching?

    1. Orion Fury

      I think Willis as stated thatorientation didn’t change across the universe, and that straight females are in the minority here. But at least talking, yeah. But there’s still gotta be some stories to get out of this one sided, what, rivalry? Then it’ll be All-New Drama™.

      1. zoelogical

        wasn’t Amber like…mostly straight. didn’t pick up on any of Robin’s crushing, but mostly bc it was Robin

        1. Spencer

          Amber from the unpulled drama tag universe where she was a bundle of sexual repression started lesbianing a bit over Rachel.

          She then had a foursome with Mike, Ethan and Dina.

        2. zoelogical

          amazing

  70. Dex

    Amazi-girl: It was twenty years ago. You hadn’t promoted yourself to cool kid yet. You were just a petty thief. Huh! You and your knife gathered your small ounce of courage to raid 7-11 for food… nachos… hmph. Slim Jims! Ethan was my friend. A simple man with a simple code: transformers and snacks. He saved me at the cost of being held hostage by you! A hero…

    Sal: I’m sorry. I don’t remember any of it.

    Amazi-girl: You don’t remember?

    Sal: For you, the day Sal graced your 7-11 was the most important day of your life. But for me, it was Tuesday.

    1. Dex

      …It was tuesday.

      1. Spencer

        That phrase has been blocked from the site.

        Besides, the best line from that movie was “Quick, change the channel!”

        1. Foxhack

          Fue un martes cualquiera?

        2. Dex

          That makes sense. I figured it was something like that when it wouldn’t actually post the phrase. Too much overuse, I’m guessing.

    2. Orion Fury

      Wasn’t it more like 5 years ago?

      Also, same thing happened to me. Apparently it was said so many times when those flashbacks occurred Willis put in a filter for it which just deleted the phrase.

      1. Dex

        Nod, I knew it had to be way less than 20 (most of the characters aren’t even 20 years old) but I figured just go with the original quote since I wasn’t sure exactly how long ago it was. 😉

    3. Emperor Norton II

      As I mention in a comment above (which has links in it, so perhaps read that instead), Sal remembers that day. A lot. Both because she is constantly reminded of it by others, and because she’s spent a lot of time reflecting on it. So it’s not like she was robbing convenience stores left and right for years, meaning that each robbery became the same as the last one. Instead, it’s a turning point in her life as much as it was a turning point for Amber.

      1. Dex

        Oh, I know, Sal is hardly a Bison character.

        I do find an interesting parallel though: Amber has hyper-focused on this one incident to an unhealthy degree. Sal has, well, moved on to an extent. I’d guess she’s never really thought about who the guy she threatened or the girl who stabbed her were, or whatever happened to them (or if that day had any lasting repercussions for them.) So in some ways, I could see something like that conversation playing out, but with Sal maybe being a bit more sympathetic once she realizes exactly who it is she’s talking to.

        1. Emperor Norton II

          Or as I said in another post above (I’ve made a lot of comments for this strip): Sal hit rock bottom with that event and it started her journey on getting back up. While Amber (while not being anywhere near a high note in her life) hit a wall, starting a descending spiral that eventually led to this.

          And yes, while it’s had some positives for Amber to have AG in her life, I’d still say that overall, it’s been a descent, as her last few interactions with Sal is showing. Maybe, just maybe, she’s soon to hit her rock bottom, though; and can finally start getting better.

        2. Orion Fury

          A lot of your comments are not a bad thing.

    4. 3oranges

      Amazi-girl: You don’t remember?
      Sal: For you, the day Sal graced your 7-11 was the most important day of your life. But for me,
      IT
      WAS

      SPARTAAAAAAAAAA

  71. SDGlyph

    “Firstly, there’s no way that was ad-libbed…”

  72. blackaeon

    Now… kiss?

  73. Richard

    So who do you think is more f***ed up: Amazi-Girl, or Rorschach?

    1. Fart Captor

      Rorschach was a homophobic, sexist murderer who just happened to (as far as we saw) usually target people who at least somewhat deserved it.

      Amazi-Girl, while having some kind of break with reality and confronting her ”nemesis”, still only seems to want to beat her up.

      Its not even close

  74. AGV

    “I am the dark, I am the bones and the nerves, but not the beef”

    1. zoelogical

      from the nearby chik-fil-a: “EAT MOAR CHIKIIIN”

  75. Murphy

    Aw come on Sal, if you’re gonna wail on Amazi-Girl at least take it outside. Marcie’s on duty here.

    1. Andy

      Exactly. I suspect Marcie’s walkie is feeding into either all her other security buddies, or to a recording system, or both. If/when police are called, there’s a record of what’s being said, especially if Amazi-Girl throws the first punch. Doing this in front of a crowd of witnesses (and said recording system) is perhaps the only way Sal has of proving herself in the right.

      1. thejeff

        At this point, despite it not being technically a punch, Sal has definitely started the fight. As others have noted, in the real world, a move like that with a landing like that probably would have ended the fight – possibly with Amber being taken away on a stretcher in a neck brace.

        Legally speaking, Sal’s nowhere near in the right here. Even her words to AG here don’t give any indication she had reason to believe AG was about to attack her.

  76. Tenn

    “Goll darnit, Ms Amazie-Gurl, yew use yore tongue purtier than a twenny-dollar whore!”

  77. Kugai

    It has begun

    THE FINAL CONFRONTATION

    It will not be pretty

  78. motorfirebox

    Amazi-Girl needs to stop dumping so many points in Scary-Badass Banter and start putting them in Don’t Wear A Cape.

  79. Jhon

    “Kleek?”
    …
    I will now retire to the Jhon cellar.
    Wake me when the screaming stops.

  80. Nena

    Amber/Amazigirl really needs to do some inner reflection. She needs to realize that in some aspects, she has the same anger, temper and intimidation tactics of her father. Not good. It will eat her alive in the long run.

  81. Sam

    Wow AG, that was a bit…overwrought. I want a rewrite in 2 days. Get on it.

  82. Jade

    “you wronged me!” says the masked stalker.

  83. Falling Star

    Anyone else having traumatizing Ava’s Demon flashbacks?

  84. bunivasal

    Frank Miller to the dialog department, paging Frank Miller to dialog

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