127

Grumpypants
Posted on December 1, 2011 by David M Willis

127 thoughts on “Grumpypants”

  1. Jen Aside

    Nono, Billie. At NIGHT.

    1. Plasma Mongoose

      How very 80s.

      1. fellixe

        You will respec’ her a-thor-itay!

    2. Joraiem

      “Psst, Billie… We’re riding the bus… AT NIGHT.”

      1. fellixe

        Her future’s so bright she’s gotta wear shades. B)

        1. NakedDumblydore

          Something tells me Billie is not studying nuclear science.

        2. Michelle J Caboose

          But does she love her classes?

        3. Plasma Mongoose

          Don’t know about classes, but she sure likes her glasses.

        4. NakedDumblydore

          The real question is whether or not her crazy teacher wears dark glasses.

      2. Wandering Meme

        “No $#!+, THERE SHE WAS…RIDING THE MIDNIGHT BUS IN A HALF DRUNKEN STUPOR WHEN SUDDENLY… she…sees…HER!”

        1. Joraiem

          Aha! Someone got it!

    3. John Harmon

      Don’t switch the blade on the guy in shades oh no!

  2. G.S.Mercs

    And yet the only thing that goes through my head is “Wow, Sal would look amazing in those!”

    1. MacFluffers

      Damn straight they would.

    2. darcos0

      with the popped collar, stylin’

  3. John Harmon

    Just as long you don’t make stupid puns while you take them off.

    1. Thores

      YEAHHHHHHHHH

      1. Tucker

        Look at her emotion… It’s DETACHED!

        Look at her seating arrangement… It’s DETACHED!

        YEEEAAAHHHHHHHHH!

        1. Tucker

          Sal’s pantsuit… It’s ATTACHED!

          Looks like… She got her PANTS ON!

          YEEEAAAHHHHHHHHHH!

        2. CWR

          She’ll punch you so hard, your retina…it’s detached!

        3. CWR

          Oh! Umm – YEEEAAAHHHHHHHH!

        4. Plasma Mongoose

          This is one meme I just cannot jump on.

          NAAAAAAAAAAAH!

  4. JackNapier

    Not bad, but you need a cheesy pun to go with the sunglasses.

  5. David Herbert

    More disinterested than thou.

  6. Joraiem

    Sal, if you wanted to be antisocial, why did you come along?

    Stop pretending and go make friends. D=<

    1. Plasma Mongoose

      What’s the point of being all anti-social if no one sees you doing it?

      1. Joraiem

        No, no, this is Sal we’re talking about, not Billie. She doesn’t need to be an attention whore, attention just naturally flocks to her.

        Also, Walky, how many statements about pants have you made in this chapter so far?

        1. Plasma Mongoose

          As many times as he can possibly manage.

        2. ryan

          “I’m going out with her tomorrow, she said she had some errands to run.”

          “That’s a date?”

          “What’s the difference? You know they way I work, I’m like a commercial jingle. First it’s a little irritating, then you hear it a few times, you hum it in the shower, by the third date it’s ‘By Mennen!’.”

  7. Mkvenner

    Not you.

  8. iSaidCandleja-

    Emotionally detached or emotionally disturbed? Your paranoid delusions are showing, Billie.

  9. Plasma Mongoose

    “Anything you can do, I can do better!”

    “I can do anything better than you!”

    1. paul

      “No you can’t!”

      1. Plasma Mongoose

        “Yes I can!”

        1. SlenderTroll

          No you can’t!

        2. Plasma Mongoose

          “YES I CAN, YES I CAN, YES I CAAAAN!”

        3. a99steaksauce

          *tweet*

        4. Mkvenner

          Bull.

        5. Wandering Meme

          Any douche you can douche, I can douche better! I can douche any douche BETTER THAN YOU!!!

    2. Lordphulish

      C-C-COMBO BREAKER?

  10. A. Colunga

    Sorry Billie, you need to either be Tom Cruise or wear a red bow tie in order for mirrored sunglasses to be effective.

    1. Plasma Mongoose

      Billie can be Maverick and Sal can be Iceman.

      1. Gotthammer

        Only so long as they don’t lose the homoerotic subtext!

        1. Plasma Mongoose

          That’s why I cast them that way! 😀

        2. Joraiem

          But… but Top Gun isn’t gay! Yusei told me so!

        3. Plasma Mongoose

          You clearly never saw the gay chemistry between Maverick and Iceman then.

        4. Joraiem

          (Psst that’s the joke – http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Zv5Ox1YaZnk)

        5. Plasma Mongoose

          OH I SEEEEEEE!

          Top Gay err Gun

    2. A. Colunga

      http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=h8WZbDcex5k

      1. Plasma Mongoose

        Groovy Vid!

    3. Lord Synick XXIII

      So Jason can wear sunglasses, right…?

    4. Rachel

      Bowties are cool.

  11. Daeva

    The readers, Billie. While we watch your floundering attempts to be cool. 😀

  12. NCP19

    For some reason I half expected (hoped, let’s be honest) that Sal was just going to skip the whole pants thing this entire arc.

    1. Kintrex

      That is somewhat disappointing.

  13. The Sound Defense

    It’s time to kick ass and chew bubble gum, and Billie’s all out of gum.

    She reminds me of Duke Nukem, is what i’m saying.

    1. Plasma Mongoose

      “DAmn… I’m looking good!” 😀

      1. HiEv

        Speaking of which, who’s your avatar today?

        Red hair, blue eyes, twintails, glasses… damn that cutie is pushing all of my buttons.

        1. Plasma Mongoose

          Would you believe Asuka from Eva?

    2. Michelle J Caboose

      “Hail to the Queen, baby.”

      1. Plasma Mongoose

        “Hell, I’d still hit it.”

  14. Henry

    Billie’s got designer shades that hide her face.

    She thinks she’s cooler than Sal.

  15. SlenderTroll

    Is Walky being sarcastic there? Does he actually think she has intent other than appearing antisocial, or is he just stating the obvious?

    1. LuckyShot

      Because it’s not possible that her character has depth that only Walky, as her brother, would know about, right?
      There’s emphasis on the word definitely, so I’m pretty sure he was being sarcastic.

      1. Valdrax

        But he said it with such a completely straight face, and the emphasis also works if he’s serious too. Given that Walky seems to sass Sal about her character flaws at every opportunity, he could be griping.

        Then again, it’s Billie he’s talking to, and Billie demands sarcasm for her ridiculous high school pecking order obsessions, so I’m not sure either.

    2. Slipgate

      My good Slender (oh noes, a reference!) man,

      Billie is incorrect in thinking that’s why Sal’s doing it, and Walky’s like ‘Uh, yeah, sure, that’s why she’s doing it’ because he recognizes that is wrong but sees little point in arguing with Billie. It’s not that she’s trying to appear cool, she’s trying to be left alone.

      1. LuckyShot

        Okay yeah, that’s much more likely than what I said. However I would still like to see some hidden character depth from her in this chapter…
        It seems like the perfect setting for it too. 🙂

    3. John Harmon

      His sarcasm was directed at Billie’s insinuation that Sal’s antisocial behavior was to get attention and try and look cool, I think.

  16. Kernanator

    You suurrrrrrre showed her, all right.

    1. Plasma Mongoose

      She can always try to freak Sal out by pretending to be a cop. 😛

      1. Tobias

        ….maybe with an axe?

        1. Red

          AXE COP!

  17. Uniqueantique

    Walky knows his sister, don’t think he’s being sarcasic.

  18. Vabolo

    I couldn’t help myself:

    http://img94.imageshack.us/img94/9853/doa1.png

    1. Tucker

      You are a god among men.

      1. Tucker

        Oh perhaps, Vabolo: “Look who’s emotionally — detached — NOW!”

    2. Joraiem

      And I couldn’t help myself:

      http://img259.imageshack.us/img259/9782/terriblepun.png

      In retrospect, I probably should have.

    3. Tucker

      I actually decided to jump in on this one:

      http://img526.imageshack.us/img526/7346/billieyeeeaaahhhhhh.png

      1. Michelle J Caboose

        Oh gods, does this mean it’s going to become a meme?

        [facepalm]

        1. Anonymous

          Quick, somebody get it to 4chan. If it meme-ifies Walky can get more ad traffics. More monies = more swag (mass produced Dina hats, perhaps?)

      2. SlenderTroll

        This is so much better with that gravatar.

  19. Ravux

    Does that mean this will become canon soon?

    1. Tucker

      I think this pretty much established that:

      http://itswalky.tumblr.com/post/13192737310/it-was-revealed-that-the-dumbing-of-agers-are

      1. Ravux

        I was referring to them burying Walky in the sand. Burying him in the sand is fun, right? (shit-ton of sand in your hair and ears not withstanding)

  20. Pingback: Dumbing of Age - Vabolo’s inevitable CSI: Miami parody

  21. a99steaksauce

    Awww thats so cute how Billie’s jelousy can show so easily. <{:]D

  22. John

    Dude, Billie, *Walky* just put a sarcastic shot right over your head. That’s just pathetic.

  23. Bekah

    I bet Billie’s got a good face for mirrored aviators. Not everyone can pull them off.

    1. Michelle J Caboose

      Why? Are they held on with super glue? O_o

      1. madd

        How else would you get them to stay on your face?

        1. Plasma Mongoose

          Arms and ears.

        2. madd

          Well, my ears are not prehensile, so I’m not sure what part they’d play, and walking around with my arms held up to my face all day would be both awkward and tiring.

        3. Michelle J Caboose

          Hmm… This would explain why my glasses keep falling off while I’m at work…

  24. Chase

    Why’s she gotta compete with everyone? :I

  25. Scot

    dat sal

  26. NakedDumblydore

    After how much she drank at the party, I’m surprised it took her this long to put on the sunglasses.

  27. Kaci

    emotionally something…

  28. Pandaawesome

    Pants

  29. quietdevious1

    Are they prescription mirrored sunglasses? Because blindly stumbling off the bus is not cool.

    1. Pat

      Yeah, I was gonna say, that trick doesn’t work if you wear *regular* glasses and you gotta take ’em off first.

  30. Sporkaganza

    Suddenly “Danger Zone” is stuck in my head.

  31. Zababcd

    To those who think Walky was being serious, I remind you of that joke you’ve probably already heard, which I have modified to fit here, in the form established in posts above. Walky is being sarcastic. He’s mocking Billie’s jealousy because he’s (mostly) a good brother and he doesn’t like that Billie is badmouthing Sal to him behind Sal’s back.

    1. Zababcd

      There’s a hyperlink in that post, on the word ‘here’. Apparently you can’t trust web formatting to make these things obvious for you nowadays. Darn young’uns messing up my internet with their “default hyperlink fonts”. I remember the days when a hyperlink was a hyperlink: blue until you clicked, purple once it was clicked. I’m not sure if ‘those days’ were reflective of technology at the time or my browsing habits at the time, but I miss those days.

      1. NakedDumblydore

        I’m not on your lawn, you crazy old goat!

      2. taekwondogirl

        *snrk* That was pretty good.

  32. vermi

    Sal needs to diversify her wardrobe. Motorcycle gear on a bus/at the beach is just not appropriate.

    1. Zababcd

      Speaking of which, it’s not often that most people on the way to the beach are wearing jackets. Normally optimal beachgoing weather and optimal jacket-wearing weather are mutually exclusive.

      1. ble.d_out.colo.r

        Well I would almost bet money (a nickel of course) that she doesnt own any other pants >.>. As evidenced by the fact that she has a habitual problem of answering the door (and walking around campus apparently) in her panties o.O.

  33. Sir Robin

    Did someone at least pay Dina’s bus fare or was she forced to pay her own?

    1. ryan

      bus drivers don’t check under everyone’s shoes for more passengers.

  34. ble.d_out.colo.r

    Ugh. I have a brother in law who reminds me of Sal. Except he thinks he is a Johnny Cash clone and too cool for everyone he meets. He wears the mirrored sunglasses and the fedoras all the time (although fedoras are fucking awesome…when not used for evil and douchebaggery). I really just wanna smack him and be like, GET A FUCKING JOB ALREADY. It would be different if he did sit at home on his ass all the time and expect my sister to do everything short of wipe his ass >.>. /end rant

    also can ah get a spellcheck on the douchebaggery please? I don’t wanna go around misspelling made up words and look like a total idiot now do I? ^.^

    1. Michelle J Caboose

      Well, the “douche part is spelled right, as is “bag.” The rest looks pretty consistent with spelling rules for English. Given that the rules themselves aren’t always consistent, and that probably at least half of the English language isn’t consistent with the spelling rules, I’d say you’re doing better than most.

    2. taekwondogirl

      Only problem is I think your brother in law is interpreting Sal’s actions the same way Billie is. Sal has a reason for the things she does and we’ll presumably find out what it is in 3 years.

  35. ble.d_out.colo.r

    *didn’t sit at home on his ass* argh typos

    1. madd

      And you were worried about the spelling on douchebaggery.

  36. Animal

    Sal isn’t emotionally detached. She’s suffering from a shortage of Animal Magnetism.

  37. thomas0comer

    Is that… a far-off mountain reflected in her glasses?

    1. Zababcd

      They are mirrored sunglasses. She is looking at you. This means that what you see is your reflection.

      This was not intended as a fat joke, but it could certainly be interpreted that way. I would like to point out that I have no idea what physical form any other poster takes, and I’m not even 100% certain of my own. I’m sort of blue-ish with a white squiggle, from what I can see.

    2. begbert2

      Yes, Mt. Specular Highlight.

  38. Doom Shepherd

    Crap. All this time I was cool, and didn’t even know it!

  39. aaron_bourque

    You know what would REALLY put her in her place and make you look emotionally detatched? If you went over there and started making out with her!

    . . .

    What?

  40. Freeholder

    Watch out Guys, we’re dealing with a bad ass over here.

  41. Pat

    She has to ask Walky who looks more emotionally detached, because she’s not sure anymore. She’s not sure because she can’t see what anybody looks like.
    This would be because she removed the glasses she needs to see in order to put the sunglasses on instead.

  42. Kelvin

    Billie…has FOUND her Salvation!

    YEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!!!!!!

    1. Usayasha

      Are you implying that Billie is a Hufflepuff?

      1. Kelvin

        I was making a pun. SAL-vation. Do you get it? XD

  43. waterbuffalo

    Retinally detached, maybe.

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