(Sudo create a joke using “overdue” for two likely horny people.)
Marsh Maryrose
Can I add you to my holdings?
Marsh Maryrose
As a pickup line, this would probably work better as a statement:
“I’d like to add you to my holdings.”
Tacos
*makes a joke involving the Dewey Decimal System*
Chris Phoenix
Makes a joke about the other person being on hold…
Dean
Dewey Decimal System? Do we ever!
HeySo
Wow, you’re rather eager to do it with them, huh?
Well, I get that they’re both stacked, but you should really shelve those impulses of yours. I mean, tick those two off, and you’d have to book it fast; Otherwise, you’d probably be in quite the bind. Just, y’know, taking the time to cover this to make sure we’re on the same page, that’s all.
If they switched to vaping, they would be better off health-wise but covered in a smokey haze.
BBCC
Most e-cigarettes contain nicotine, so it’s really not that much healthier.
lightsabermario
Nicotine is a highly addictive chemical, but it’s hardly the only harmful substance in cigarettes. The tar that’ll coat your lungs, and a veritable “who’s who” of carcinogens make cigarettes a way worse option than vaping.
BBCC
Nicotine’s hardly the only harmful substance in vaping either. There just haven’t been long term studies about harm from vaping yet.
not someone else
Isn’t vape juice just nicotine, food-grade artificial flavoring, and water?
(As someone allergic to nicotine that’s bad enough, but I was under the impression there weren’t other substances in vape juice.)
BBCC
Depending on what’s in the e-cigarette in question (they’re not standardized), there can be many dangerous chemicals and it doesn’t help those around you with respiratory issues. Speaking as a college student, having an asthma attack because of some jackass smoking in the doorway isn’t really better when the smoke’s grape flavoured as opposed to regular cigarette smoke.
Miri
I was really disappointed when I learnt that vaping wasn’t just about clouds of sweet-flavoured steam with nothing but water and flavour – that I would have considered taking up…
George
If only. People are really getting their lungs screwed up by dodgy vape juice.
Not sure how damaging vaping is when the juice is made properly, but evidence is starting to mount that if it’s done improperly, it can do serious lung damage.
Felix
“but evidence is starting to mount that if it’s done improperly, it can do serious damage.”
Applies to just about anything and everything. This is why safety commissions exist for products and services. Question might then rather be if not, why there is no safety regulations on something like this..?
Lensipensi
It is really much, much less harmful then cigarettes. Nicotine is one of the least harmful substances in cigarettes (body-health-wise). Just take CO and tar as examples.
BBCC
There’s a whole bunch of other shit in e-cigarettes too.
And nicotine causes cancer and plays havoc with your cardiovascular, gastrointestinal, respiratory, immunological, ocular, renal, and reproductive systems. Even if it were just nicotine, nicotine’s dangerous enough.
Alanari
Cigarettes basically are the deadliest thing on this planet. One of ten dies because of cigarette related reasons. If vaping were as dangerous, we’d probably already know.
Not saying that it’s healthy. It probably isn’t. But it probably also can’t compete with killer number one.
BBCC
The ‘we’d already know’ thing seems like a bold claim considering it took years to find out how deadly cigarettes are and the fact there aren’t any major long term studies on vaping. Vaping’s been a thing for less than 20 years – it was invented in 2003.
If they’re both going to cause fatal cancer (and they both contain nicotine so they both can) it seems strange to me to claim one is healthier.
Alanari
After 20 years, the negative effect of cigarettes to, well, basically the whole body are well visible. We effectively did a long term study, with a few million vapers as participants. So we know that vaping does not destroy the human body as fast as cigarettes.
Processed meat causes cancer, too. But it is way healthier than cigarettes. The key is the probability of causing cancer. One in ten smokers will get cancer. If the ratio is 1:50 for vaping, it is healthier. Still damaging, but not as deadly as cigarettes.
One of the main ways cigarettes kill is copd and the lungs of vapers don’t get bad that fast. We even know switching to vaping can make copd get better. I mean, yes, vaping will, most likely, damage the lungs in some way. There’s stuff going into them that’s not supposed to be there and that will have some effect. But it’s apparently not destroying them completely, like cigarettes do.
BBCC
No, no we have not done a long term study because you cannot eyeball health impacts like that. It took decades for the long term affects of cigarettes to become apparent in empirical research and they’d been available a lot longer than that. Especially when most people vaping are young and it’s often in your 40s-50s that health affects become apparent.
BBCC
And ‘processed’ meat doesn’t actually mean anything specific. Salting and canning it makes it processed.
thejeff
And we’re just now starting to see a bunch of lung problems apparently linked to vaping.
Even if it is healthier, that only works as an argument if vaping is used as an alternative for existing smokers, not as a way to hook a new generation on nicotine. Which, given that it apparently bypassed a lot of the rules about marketing to kids, it certainly seems to be.
BBCC
It’s really not replacing smoking either – most people who vape and smoke don’t give up smoking.
It isn’t carcinogen. For the other things you are writing I would have to look into specific studies to say something about it.b It is of course up to you to believe what you want. But scientific speaking, with the kind of evidence we have till now (which is not nearly as much as with cigarettes), vaping is much less harmful, because it doesn’t contain CO and tar. But the tobacco lobby is clearly steering the conversion (at least in Europe. Here not even chewing tobacco is allowed and cheering tobacco is much less harmful and less addicting than cigarettes).
Lensipensi
I am very sorry for the misspellings and autocorrections. I hope everything is still readable, if somebody is reading it.
ktbear
And its not like vaping has ever killed anyone, right? RIGHT?
ischemgeek
Vaping has a different hazard profile compared with cigarettes. On one hand, it does seem less carcinogenic. OTOH, nobody gets popcorn lung from cigarettes, and they do get it from vaping.
BarerMender
I remember a figure from long ago: CO at 640 times industrial save level. Plus 200 other toxins, including PVC.
LeslieBean4shizzle
… I feel like I should put a link in to the Game Theory episode where MatPat proved that four half a pack of cigarettes has enough nicotine to drop someone dead in around 30 minutes if properly concentrated.
Hilzabub
4 packs of tylenol will also kill you. Not as quickly, but it will do it.
Not arguing in favour of nicotine, just saying.
Casi
That was Austin with the SCIENCE! Don’t you be getting Austin to start yelling some more, he really needs to save his voice lol
The first Ellery Queen mystery novel (ask your grandparents) involves nicotine as the means of murder, but it is in liquid form and applied subcutaneously.
Deathjavu
Nicotine not harmful? The fu… atherosclerosis (arterial hardening, they need to be flexible) isn’t harmful? That’s straight up an effect of the nicotine itself…and just the first one I thought of off the top of my head.
I don’t know what you’re smoking that you think nicotine isn’t harmful, but it isn’t nicotine. Or weed. Maybe paint thinner.
Deathjavu
Upon rereading it’s clear that you said it’s the least harmful, which is like…saying a fire is the least hot of a group of fires?
Don’t put your hand in any of the fires, they’ll all burn you.
woobie
Nicotene is a really good insecticide.
Ever seen the hazared label on a nicotene container?
Bathymetheus
Well, yes. That’s why tobacco plants produce it (lots of plants produce weird chemicals – the ones that produce something that kills or inhibits insects tend to be more successful). Some of those chemicals affect the human nervous system. Humans being sensation seekers we tend to try all sorts of crap. As a cranky old guy, I tend to think that this is usually a bad idea.
On a talk show many years ago, I heard a comedian say that a typical cigarette that you don’t drag on takes 11 minutes to burn. The stand-up guys in the Forties and Fifties used the cigarette to time out their acts. Just a datum.
Not really. I know plenty of people who went through withdrawals just switching from whatever they had to plain tobacco. No need to spike your poison with other poisons.
126 thoughts on “Check”
Ana Chronistic
“you should get a library card if you wanna check me out lolololol”
Leorale
You must’ve returned the books late, because, you got FINE written all over you
Doctor_Who
Here, let me show you our overnight slot.
ValdVin
(Sudo create a joke using “overdue” for two likely horny people.)
Marsh Maryrose
Can I add you to my holdings?
Marsh Maryrose
As a pickup line, this would probably work better as a statement:
“I’d like to add you to my holdings.”
Tacos
*makes a joke involving the Dewey Decimal System*
Chris Phoenix
Makes a joke about the other person being on hold…
Dean
Dewey Decimal System? Do we ever!
HeySo
Wow, you’re rather eager to do it with them, huh?
Well, I get that they’re both stacked, but you should really shelve those impulses of yours. I mean, tick those two off, and you’d have to book it fast; Otherwise, you’d probably be in quite the bind. Just, y’know, taking the time to cover this to make sure we’re on the same page, that’s all.
ValdVin
I knew I liked Tai when she blurted out, in perfect iambic pentameter, “Oh joyous day, you passed the test! You’re hired”.
Makkabee
They’re in college now. They use the Library of Sexual Congress system.
AbelUndercity
(Quietly escorts them to 306.7 in nonfiction.)
Clif
Librarian jokes are almost as cool as mathematician jokes.
Doctor_Who
Panels 4 and 5 actually took several complete cigarettes, they only started speaking again because their packs were running low.
Slartibeast Button, BIA
Smoking Duel?
Screwball
Russian Roulette, cancer edition…?
HeySo
Where every chamber is loaded, but with soft lead bullets, and in a low-velocity gun? Guess they’re playing the long game, huh?
Needfuldoer
So would that imply they’ve been there for hours, or did they both chain smoke a pack each?
Felix
Sounds like my teenage years. Up to 4 packs a day.
Shane Wegner
Now bone.
Shane Wegner
It’s like really delayed make up sex.
Cheshrin
“Oh no we’re hot”
Dara
Oh no they’re hot. It’s not fair that I would literally stop breathing around either of them thanks to their goddamn smoking habits.
I guess “yay they’re fictional” applies here? Somehow?
bisexual frustration increases
Plasma Mongoose
If they switched to vaping, they would be better off health-wise but covered in a smokey haze.
BBCC
Most e-cigarettes contain nicotine, so it’s really not that much healthier.
lightsabermario
Nicotine is a highly addictive chemical, but it’s hardly the only harmful substance in cigarettes. The tar that’ll coat your lungs, and a veritable “who’s who” of carcinogens make cigarettes a way worse option than vaping.
BBCC
Nicotine’s hardly the only harmful substance in vaping either. There just haven’t been long term studies about harm from vaping yet.
not someone else
Isn’t vape juice just nicotine, food-grade artificial flavoring, and water?
(As someone allergic to nicotine that’s bad enough, but I was under the impression there weren’t other substances in vape juice.)
BBCC
Depending on what’s in the e-cigarette in question (they’re not standardized), there can be many dangerous chemicals and it doesn’t help those around you with respiratory issues. Speaking as a college student, having an asthma attack because of some jackass smoking in the doorway isn’t really better when the smoke’s grape flavoured as opposed to regular cigarette smoke.
Miri
I was really disappointed when I learnt that vaping wasn’t just about clouds of sweet-flavoured steam with nothing but water and flavour – that I would have considered taking up…
George
If only. People are really getting their lungs screwed up by dodgy vape juice.
Not sure how damaging vaping is when the juice is made properly, but evidence is starting to mount that if it’s done improperly, it can do serious lung damage.
Felix
“but evidence is starting to mount that if it’s done improperly, it can do serious damage.”
Applies to just about anything and everything. This is why safety commissions exist for products and services. Question might then rather be if not, why there is no safety regulations on something like this..?
Lensipensi
It is really much, much less harmful then cigarettes. Nicotine is one of the least harmful substances in cigarettes (body-health-wise). Just take CO and tar as examples.
BBCC
There’s a whole bunch of other shit in e-cigarettes too.
And nicotine causes cancer and plays havoc with your cardiovascular, gastrointestinal, respiratory, immunological, ocular, renal, and reproductive systems. Even if it were just nicotine, nicotine’s dangerous enough.
Alanari
Cigarettes basically are the deadliest thing on this planet. One of ten dies because of cigarette related reasons. If vaping were as dangerous, we’d probably already know.
Not saying that it’s healthy. It probably isn’t. But it probably also can’t compete with killer number one.
BBCC
The ‘we’d already know’ thing seems like a bold claim considering it took years to find out how deadly cigarettes are and the fact there aren’t any major long term studies on vaping. Vaping’s been a thing for less than 20 years – it was invented in 2003.
If they’re both going to cause fatal cancer (and they both contain nicotine so they both can) it seems strange to me to claim one is healthier.
Alanari
After 20 years, the negative effect of cigarettes to, well, basically the whole body are well visible. We effectively did a long term study, with a few million vapers as participants. So we know that vaping does not destroy the human body as fast as cigarettes.
Processed meat causes cancer, too. But it is way healthier than cigarettes. The key is the probability of causing cancer. One in ten smokers will get cancer. If the ratio is 1:50 for vaping, it is healthier. Still damaging, but not as deadly as cigarettes.
One of the main ways cigarettes kill is copd and the lungs of vapers don’t get bad that fast. We even know switching to vaping can make copd get better. I mean, yes, vaping will, most likely, damage the lungs in some way. There’s stuff going into them that’s not supposed to be there and that will have some effect. But it’s apparently not destroying them completely, like cigarettes do.
BBCC
No, no we have not done a long term study because you cannot eyeball health impacts like that. It took decades for the long term affects of cigarettes to become apparent in empirical research and they’d been available a lot longer than that. Especially when most people vaping are young and it’s often in your 40s-50s that health affects become apparent.
BBCC
And ‘processed’ meat doesn’t actually mean anything specific. Salting and canning it makes it processed.
thejeff
And we’re just now starting to see a bunch of lung problems apparently linked to vaping.
Even if it is healthier, that only works as an argument if vaping is used as an alternative for existing smokers, not as a way to hook a new generation on nicotine. Which, given that it apparently bypassed a lot of the rules about marketing to kids, it certainly seems to be.
BBCC
It’s really not replacing smoking either – most people who vape and smoke don’t give up smoking.
Clif
Re – Nicotine causes cancer. Most experts agree not. See https://www.medicalnewstoday.com/articles/323542.php
Lensipensi
It isn’t carcinogen. For the other things you are writing I would have to look into specific studies to say something about it.b It is of course up to you to believe what you want. But scientific speaking, with the kind of evidence we have till now (which is not nearly as much as with cigarettes), vaping is much less harmful, because it doesn’t contain CO and tar. But the tobacco lobby is clearly steering the conversion (at least in Europe. Here not even chewing tobacco is allowed and cheering tobacco is much less harmful and less addicting than cigarettes).
Lensipensi
I am very sorry for the misspellings and autocorrections. I hope everything is still readable, if somebody is reading it.
ktbear
And its not like vaping has ever killed anyone, right? RIGHT?
ischemgeek
Vaping has a different hazard profile compared with cigarettes. On one hand, it does seem less carcinogenic. OTOH, nobody gets popcorn lung from cigarettes, and they do get it from vaping.
BarerMender
I remember a figure from long ago: CO at 640 times industrial save level. Plus 200 other toxins, including PVC.
LeslieBean4shizzle
… I feel like I should put a link in to the Game Theory episode where MatPat proved that four half a pack of cigarettes has enough nicotine to drop someone dead in around 30 minutes if properly concentrated.
Hilzabub
4 packs of tylenol will also kill you. Not as quickly, but it will do it.
Not arguing in favour of nicotine, just saying.
Casi
That was Austin with the SCIENCE! Don’t you be getting Austin to start yelling some more, he really needs to save his voice lol
ValdVin
But in what form?
The first Ellery Queen mystery novel (ask your grandparents) involves nicotine as the means of murder, but it is in liquid form and applied subcutaneously.
Deathjavu
Nicotine not harmful? The fu… atherosclerosis (arterial hardening, they need to be flexible) isn’t harmful? That’s straight up an effect of the nicotine itself…and just the first one I thought of off the top of my head.
I don’t know what you’re smoking that you think nicotine isn’t harmful, but it isn’t nicotine. Or weed. Maybe paint thinner.
Deathjavu
Upon rereading it’s clear that you said it’s the least harmful, which is like…saying a fire is the least hot of a group of fires?
Don’t put your hand in any of the fires, they’ll all burn you.
woobie
Nicotene is a really good insecticide.
Ever seen the hazared label on a nicotene container?
Bathymetheus
Well, yes. That’s why tobacco plants produce it (lots of plants produce weird chemicals – the ones that produce something that kills or inhibits insects tend to be more successful). Some of those chemicals affect the human nervous system. Humans being sensation seekers we tend to try all sorts of crap. As a cranky old guy, I tend to think that this is usually a bad idea.
thejeff
like hot peppers. 🙂
Fox
Vaping involves many potentially dangerous chemicals and really isn’t safer than regular cigarettes.
https://e-cigarettes.surgeongeneral.gov/
Fomalhaut88
He’s an asshole though.
Deanatay
Ugh. Maybe if they weren’t inveterate chain-smokers.
ValdVin
Asher: “I’ve spent hours wondering what Walky would look like with a full head of seaweed.”
Stephen Bierce
On a talk show many years ago, I heard a comedian say that a typical cigarette that you don’t drag on takes 11 minutes to burn. The stand-up guys in the Forties and Fifties used the cigarette to time out their acts. Just a datum.
BBCC
Now I’m kinda wondering if Marcie knows Sal went to meet Asher. I wonder what she’ll think if she does (and, more interestingly, if she doesn’t).
In the mean time – go on, you two.
Mr. Random
Is there a blue line drawing behind the comic?
CMasta
Yeah looks like the pencils layer is still visible.
Badgermole
Now bump cigarettes
jk don’t do it Sal
Rognik
Is that like a fist bump for smokers?
Schpoonman
I know Black Lagoon used it as a proxy kiss once.
Deanatay
Dueling fags?
NO
Rognik
Bumping cigarettes, or swapping cigarettes? Maybe that last one is too hot for TV.
Dean
Asher, you could at least turn around and give her the rear view.
Danielle
what brand does sal smoke?
Delicious Taffy
Who cares, they’re all poison.
Zach
Not really. I know plenty of people who went through withdrawals just switching from whatever they had to plain tobacco. No need to spike your poison with other poisons.