169

Dollars
Posted on March 3, 2020 by David M Willis

169 thoughts on “Dollars”

  1. Ana Chronistic

    called it

    (I mean, it’s pretty obvious tho)

  2. King Daniel

    Joyce, no

    1. Kyrik Michalowski

      Robin, no.

      1. abysswatcher1993

        Sarah, no.

        1. clif

          Dorothy, n… well, maybe.

        2. Reltzik

          Becky, know.

        3. Marsh Maryrose

          Dr. Scott, no.

        4. clif

          That’s what Brad said.

        5. Roborat

          Rocky, grunt

        6. Yet One More Idiot

          Dr. No xD

    2. DudeMyDadOwnsaDealership

      Also, you count as an adult, Joyce……Or were Sarah and Dorothy the 2 other ‘Okay’ adults?

      1. Delicious Taffy

        They’re adults the same way glass is a liquid.

        1. clif

          Technically.

        2. DudeMyDadOwnsaDealership

          What about legally?

        3. King Daniel

          Only if you ignore certain physical properties?

        4. Arianod

          That is, not at all?

        5. Roborat

          Well, it is and isn’t, depending on how you tilt your brain.

        6. DudeMyDadOwnsaDealership

          Joyce’s world has been tilting it’s brain to classify Ross as a fully-functioning adult Her and Becky’s whole lives. It wouldn’t be a trip into an obscure Adult Swim animated universe to classify J. , S. and D.’s College ‘Kid’ status as entry-level adulthood, given the practiced standard…

        7. Znayx

          Arianod is right. The answer is “not at all”. The thing about glass seeming to be an extremely slow flowing liquid is a myth that was triggered by the notability of stained glass windows having this resulting shape. However it’s been so long since I watched the video explaining it that I forgot what causes that to happen, though it’s definitely not time’s effect on cooled glass.

        8. Chexwarrior

          IIRC it was that glassmakers put the heavier (thicker) side of the glass down, because the glassmaking porcess often always had one side be thicker, and bottom heavy panels were preferred over top heavy.

    3. Oberon

      Yes.

  3. Suet

    Bad hashtag, alt.

    Three? So, Robin, Leslie annnnd… Hank?

    1. Leorale

      Yep. She’s probably not counting Jocelyne as an adult, because siblings are the same age forever.

      1. Miri

        My baby sister must be 27 in reality but she’s permanently 15 in my head…

      2. Zee

        Wait no it’s younger family members are the same age forever, older siblings are forever a beacon of authority and wisdom
        …maybe that’s just large age gap siblings

  4. Doctor_Who

    Wow, Robin really is in the top three adults in Becky’s life. It goes Leslie -> Hank -> Robin.

    1. Cass

      Does she consider Joc an adult?

      1. Doctor_Who

        I mean, I wasn’t an adult until I was like 26, and frankly I still have my off-days.

        1. clif

          Is that human years or Galifrain years?

        2. Delicious Taffy

          Yes

        3. Kelibath

          <3

        4. Oberon

          But you’re a Doctor…

  5. synnerman

    Dammit Joyce!

    Well there goes that friendship when Becky finds out.

    1. Beef

      I doubt Becky’s gonna dump Joyce over it. It’ll be a hell of a learning experience though.

    2. abysswatcher1993

      Becky doesn’t care. She is basically a nihilist at this point and only doing stuff to survive. She will make a joke about it and ignore Dorothy’s concerns because of a fake rivalry Becky invented in her mind. You can’t reason with fundies nor beckys.

      1. thejeff

        nihilist?

        Are we reading the same comic?

        1. Reltzik

          At this point, Joyce is a lot closer to nihilism than Becky.

        2. clif

          Sorry Becky. Nihilism is my new Dorothy.

      2. Oberon

        Nihilist’s don’t concern themselves with pre-marital hanky-panky

  6. butts

    i mean, robin’s in like. the top 50% of DoA adults at least. y’know, relatively.

    1. Leorale

      A bar so low, we can trip on it

      1. anonymousethatscurriesinthedarkness

        A Bar so low the mice are hunchbacked.

        1. clif

          A bar so low paramecium have to go on a diet.

        2. Casi

          A bar so low, we need to use Planck lengths to measure it’s height

      2. foamy

        No you can’t, it’s underground.

      3. Slartibeast Button, BIA

        A bar so low you need to do stretching exercises before you get your drinks.

  7. Kyrik Michalowski

    Robin you rack is merely ok, I’d rate you higher if not for your personality. It really detracts from your rack.

    More importantly, Joyce listen to the voice of reason here: Sarah Dorothy. Does Robin’s idea really sound that good?

    1. abysswatcher1993

      I have seen better racks.

      Also, knowing Joyce, she will be in denial for three months outside the comic before her next angsty existential moment.

      1. Rose by Any Other Name

        I mean, at least two people in the room with Robin have better racks than she does.

        1. clif

          Well, yes, but they’re younger.

          …

          I forget what my point was.

        2. anonymousethatscurriesinthedarkness

        3. Liquid Len

          And we know Joyce likes them… fuller!

          https://www.dumbingofage.com/2013/comic/book-3/03-answers-in-hennessy/curiosity/

        4. Oberon

          And also: https://www.dumbingofage.com/2013/comic/book-3/03-answers-in-hennessy/gay-panic/

        5. Hoboturtle

          Not gonna lie, I legit thought Robin was talking about Joyce for a second.

        6. thejeff

          It does look like she’s pointing at Joyce’s doesn’t it.

        7. Zee

          Same. Partly because, I mean of the two we all know that statement applies to Joyce way more.

    2. ValdVin

      I’d rate you higher if not for your personality.

      “If you could put a paper bag over his personality” is a favored saying of some of my wife’s friends.

  8. Bagge

    There are at least four more OK adults in this strip alone, counting Lamp, Sarah, Dorothy and Dorothy (she is two moms)

    1. Kyrik Michalowski

      Ah yes, I remember when that lamp was there for Becky when she needed it, like to see.

      1. Bagge

        It was a light in darkness for her.

        1. clif

          It showed her the way forward.

        2. King Daniel

          It provided illuminating knowledge.

  9. abysswatcher1993

    Joyce, again, sharing methods with a known conservative pragmatist is an awful thing! Listen to Dorothy for once in your life! Have you ever listened to Dorothy? No! You haven’t! Every time Dorothy says something useful and practical, you ignore it because of your dumb beliefs and your teen angst! It’s like a storm of bad choices that lead to the deaths of many characters besides Mike!

    1. clif

      Always assuming that Mike is dead.

      1. clif

        And even if he is, he will live forever in our hearts and in the dreams of your mom.

        1. Ron again

          Even my nickels dream of Mike

        2. Delicious Taffy

          Dreams of a Prostitution is my favorite song from theSonic ’06 soundtrack.

        3. clif

          Mom?

      2. Jhennaside

        They had a wake for him over at Something Positive…

        1. clif

          That was an older Mike who had already died twice.

  10. Yenklette

    I am gonna be insufferable if it turns out Roz was right.

    1. abysswatcher1993

      Roz is right. It is just that Roz is as much an asshole as Robin.

      1. StClair

        Yup.

    2. Proxiehunter

      Roz isn’t wrong, she’s just an asshole.

    3. Miri

      About what? Robin being closeted? Problem is she’s so far back behind the coats she doesn’t know what she wants or why or how words she knows might apply to her, so we’re basically just thankful she found some trousers in there eventually.

      1. abysswatcher1993

        Roz is right that Robin is a manipulative scoundrel that will say anything to get votes, but she won’t actually change anything for the better. She is like Mayor Dewey from Steven Universe, but without the self awareness that she sucks as a person.

  11. FLUFFY

    Joyce. No.

    being okay is not a high bar to clear. Don’t look at people that are passable and say “You’re great!” Strive for more!

    1. abysswatcher1993

      This is Joyce. She has no sense of distinction between good and evil on a practical level.

  12. Kyoulkoa

    DoA Book 10: #Alsonicerackifyouain’tnoticedyet

    1. Ron again

      I was wondering why she would say “… if you ain’t not iced yet” and I couldn’t wrap my head around it. Just when I read it all at once in your comment did I realise my mistake…

    2. Keulen

      DoA Book 10: Literally Your Tax Dollars In Action

      1. clif

        Always in motion your tax dollars is.

  13. BBCC

    A) Joyce, no. This is not a good plan.

    B) Robin, no. You have a bad plan.

    C) Sarah, no. Not doing anything is not a good option here.

    D) Becky, no. If you get Robin elected I am gonna scream.

    1. Kyrik Michalowski

      Seems like you covered the whole gambit of bad choices.

      1. clif

        Not so much. The palette of bad choices is near infinite.

        1. Kat

          “The palette of bad choices is near infinite.” -clif

          If Tabletop gaming has taught me anything, it is this.

    2. PiotrW

      Why is it not a good plan? Not sure what the concern here is…

      1. BBCC

        They haven’t told Becky about her dad skulking around. That means she’s still prime to run into the Evil Dads. She doesn’t know Blaine from Adam and she’s noticed the creepy guys following her (Robin’s security, not that Becky knows that since she hasn’t been told). It also robs Becky of the agency to decide how to handle her dad being on bail.

      2. Deadjolras

        Becky was recently kidnapped by her controlling, overbearing dad. She believes she’s safe from him as long as he’s in jail. Now she’s in a situation where she has two strangers following her around. Not knowing her dad is out of jail, she might think the two bodyguards are actually working for him or for her church, or are just two stalkers, which could lead to her trying to avoid them or escape their watch, and thus leaving herself vulnerable for Toedad or Blaine to bump into her.

  14. Dracke

    Has any of the girls in this strip (todays) been any good at making decisions?
    At least Robbin has done something

    1. Miri

      Sarah following Joyce to a party and swinging a bat at not-Ryan.
      Joyce glassing him.
      Joyce getting Becky help when Toedad kidnapped her.
      Joyce punching Toedad.
      Dorothy often so long as we ignore her approach to romantic relationships, her work-life balance, and whether or not it’s creepy to literally record, rare and chart all of her interactions with her peers…

      Hmm, is Dorothy a pacifist? And is it wrong that most of the others’ good choices involve acts of violence?

  15. Tacos

    I- is Robin picking hairs off the lollipop that fell on the ground before putting it back in her mouth?

    1. Agemegos

      Of course she is. Hairs are disgusting.

    2. Proxiehunter

      Would you rather she stick it back in her mouth with the hair still on it?

    3. Miri

      I assumed it was carpet fuzz. Hairs are also possible.

    4. Jhon

      She’s unwrapping a new one. I hope. Maybe.

      1. clif

        Keep that optimism handy. You never know when you might need it.

    5. Zee

      I mean it’s not like she dropped it outside

      1. clif

        Why no. She dropped it on the rug where college kids partied and spent the night.

  16. Samantha

    I don’t think I understand the issue here this doesn’t seem horrible having Becky watched out for discreetly not causing a panic until they know what’s really going on and such

    1. Mr D

      Yeah I don’t get the panic. Then again my perception score sits uncomfortably close to 1 so maybe I’m just not that attentive

    2. frogger44

      In the previous strip, Becky notices the guards. It’s not discreet if their cover is blown. Becky has a right to know that her father has posted bail. Her being in the dark about being “protected” is probably, knowing this comic, not going to end up pretty well.

    3. Bryy

      Robin literally just implied she only gives a shit about Becky as long as her poll numbers are up.

      1. Icalasari

        I think Robin DOES actually care about Becky, but just sucks at playing it off all cool

        1. Sombrero

          Care for Becky or not, Robin is incompetent to deal with the situation or with anything.

    4. Nymphie

      Considering she’s been kidnapped at gunpoint, and she knows at least that Carol sides with her dad, she could very well have paranoia run with her, thinking the guards are hired by her dad or the church to kidnap her to get her to conversion therapy.

      At least thats what would pop into my head if i suddenly were followed by two strangers after such an event

      1. Kat

        I mean, I’ve caught people I thought were following me too hard and gotten concerned that the Time Crimes Division had finally caught up to…

        1. clif

          Don’t you hate it when that happens.

        2. sillygoose

          Happened. Will happen. Had will have happened.

        3. Roborat

          What the hell, you didn’t even say Candym…

    5. Myles Adams

      What is served by keeping Becky in the dark about this?

      It’s tempting to say “she doesn’t need to know,” but, well, she kinda does. Like, if Toedad were promptly put back in jail she might, *might* not need to know how gung-ho her old church is about getting him out, but he’s not.

      1. Agemegos

        The vanity, presumption, and urge to control others of Joyce and Robin is served by keeping Becky in the dark about this.

        1. Miri

          I think it does come from wanting her to stay happy and not worried rather than vanity per se – but that bit where she is an autonomous adult who needs to know what is going on in her own life that affects her…

        2. thejeff

          I agree – at least for Joyce. Robin’s motivations are more opaque.

          It’s a bad decision, but not as malicious as some make out to be.

        3. clif

          There is a very human desire to infantize those we love. It’s not a good urge.

        4. Agemegos

          Vanity comes into it when Joyce and Robin reckon that they can handle the truth but that Becky can’t. Presumption is when they overstep their boundaries and take decisions affecting Becky without her authorisation or delegation. Neither thing is malice — they don’t wish her harm — but malice is not the only thing that is not okay. These two both put themselves in charge of someone else’s well-being without a shadow of right or authority. And adding injury to insult, they are both wildly bad at it and afflicted with delusions of competence.

      2. Samantha

        I think the point is to prevent Becky from panicking as they are unsure where he is we know but they don’t. And also because they don’t want to have high alert on campus as well it isnt huh horrible but after seeing other responses It is not smart

    6. Zee

      Even without the context of Becky’s Whole Shit, “hm yes let’s have this young woman followed by big strange men she doesn’t know without telling her is a good idea that couldn’t possibly turn out poorly or scare the hell out of her.”

  17. PiotrW

    I don’t understand Dorothy’s “red flag” concern? Could you guys explain it to me?

    1. clif

      Agreeing with Robin about anything is a red flag that maybe you need to rethink things very carefully. I mean, maybe Robin is right about something, but is that the way to bet?

      1. Thomas

        Is this the proper way to use the expression? The fact that Robin agrees with you should be the red flag, not the other way round.

        1. clif

          It’s the agreement itself, not the direction of the agreement, that should call for a reality check.

    2. Kyrik Michalowski

      Robin is not a wise individual, and has shown to be less than dependable and more interested in what is good for her. So Joyce agreeing with her methods is a red flag because it shows Joyce is not doing what Becky might want and instead is trusting the wisdom of Robin.

      1. Mr D

        While I agree that Robin is not wise in most manners of speaking, I have to say, hiring professional bodyguards is by far the smartest thing she could have done.
        I mean, a broken clock can be right twice a day.

        1. King Daniel

          Judging from the glimpse of them we got yesterday, I’d question Robin’s definition of “professional”.

        2. SuperZero

          Remaining undetected by the person they’re protecting is probably not a skill they typically practice.

        3. Deadjolras

          Not telling Becky she’s hired bodyguards for her and letting the poor girl believe she’s being stalked by two random strangers isn’t what I’d call “smart”.

        4. DarkoNeko

          If she hired them amongst the goons that attended her latest rally…eh.

        5. abysswatcher1993

          Robin does things half assed. Right or left, she will put a plank over a hole and pretend a street is repaired.

    3. Sombrero

      Agreeing with an adult that takes a lollipop from the carpet and put it back in her mouth should indicate Joyce that something is wrong with what she is agreeing to.

  18. AY

    Always glad for an excuse to pull this outta the vault
    https://cdn.discordapp.com/attachments/521936735244910594/684274827477123158/robin_no_why.jpg

    1. brute

      perfect

    2. AGV

      Wait, there’s a DoA discord??

      1. AY

        This is from Shortpacked! Comment section many years ago, actually!

      2. AY

        *addendum, I just put it on discord so I could snatch an image link

  19. Yotomoe

    Listen DeSanto. It’s a pretty fantastic rack. A rack I would certainly stare at. But is it a politcally competitive rack. Just saying, There are LOTS of nice racks in congress. Do you really think your rack can stand to scrutiny. What if people start questioning your rack in a debate? Can you provide proper counter arguments and defend your rack from detractors?

    1. a snow mouse

      Det-rack-tors

  20. Yotomoe

    “Congresswoman DeSanto, you SAY you have a nice rack but your opponent, senator Hernandez has it beat on both size AND firmness. What can your rack provide that your opponent’s cannot?”
    “I’m glad you brought this up. You see, in the battle of racks it’s not about SIZE. That’s a very common misconception. You have to think longevity. My rack is one that will retain its shape during a long congressional term. Not to fling mud but can Hernandez promise hers will not start to droop with the coming years? And while I’ve got no problems with a droopy rack, I plan to give the voters the rack they voted for. Also while miss Hernandez’s rack is more prominent you might notice that I am doing this debate in a bikini. After all, Rack visibility is an issue I’m very passionate about. And this is what you can expect from me and my rack for the rest of my term. Vote DeSanto! A rack you can trust!”

    1. Sombrero

      “Besides: do you trust senator Hernandez to flash her rack when voter fanservice thus require it? You already know who can trust on that”.

      1. Yotomoe

        Has Hernandez ever let someone fall facefirst into her her titties like an anime? Has Hernandez ever had her bikini “accidentally” fall off for an “embarassing” social faux pas? And where is Herndandez’s videos of her jumping rope while clearly not wearing a bra. Vote DeSanto. Proud of her rack. Proud of her Conuntry
        *robin topless with vote robin pasties on her nipples* I’m Robin DeSanto and I approve this Message.

    2. Deanatay

      Perfect comic (and comment) for primary elections today, in my state

    3. TemperaryObsessor

      Robin DeSanto not just a good rack a great rack.

  21. jeffepp

    Robin, should you be talking about Joyce’s rack like that? At least give her a lollipop, first.

    1. Delicious Taffy

      Joyce’s Outback SUVs are arguably much nicer than Robin’s, and certainly worthy of a hashtag, but I think Robin was talking about her own (admittedly decent) Oklahoman radishes.

    2. Roborat

      Just not that one.

  22. Yotomoe

    (the easiest way to get me interested in anything ever is to even for a second reference boobs in any way. I’m a fickle gentleman)

    1. clif

      So when are you starting your Illustrated League of Fickle Gentlemen web comic?

  23. Yotomoe

    Also it’s literally impossible for me to dislike Robin. Next strip could be her eating babies and I’d say “that’s my Robin!”

  24. Keulen

    I’m still not convinced Robin is even okay as far as adults go.

    1. thejeff

      Joyce’s bar for adults is set pretty low these days.

      Remember that basically every adult she knew as a kid is at least suspected of supporting Toedad and getting him out of jail.
      Except her dad of course.

      1. Mr.Morningstar

        Yeah her dad is one of those 3. The other one is probably leslie.

        1. CJ

          How frustrating for Leslie to be ranked with Robin in anything.

        2. abysswatcher1993

          Joyce just sucks at distinguishing between good and evil people until they show their true colors to her, like trying to murder or sexually assault her. She needs to learn to see red flags.

  25. Rabisch

    There is something really weird in this. But I can’t say what precisely that is.

    1. clif

      Lamp isn’t tagged?

  26. Kaz

    My headcanon is that Robin wants to get elected to have access to the super mega ultra secret Drama Tag location to put it back in.

  27. DarkoNeko

    ….i could imagine Becky using that hashtag

  28. Sombrero

    Robin DeSanto is solid VP material. Now, if we can find a decrepit enough electable candidate for President…

  29. Mr.Morningstar

    Robin your hearts in the right place but no

    1. Reltzik

      She just said she’s protecting Becky because Becky’s helping her poll numbers. Is her heart really in the right place?

    2. Yotomoe

      Actually it’s not. With how clogged all of her arteries are her hat has been displaced more into her abdomen to make more room.

      1. clif

        I’m not sure if I should be more disturbed by the hat in Robin’s abdomen or the fact she has multiple hearts.

  30. Perdellian

    Book 11: Nice Rack If You Ain’t Noticed Yet

  31. Tommakespodcasts

    Good done for bad reasons is still good done.

    1. DarkoNeko

      it’s not like she’s REALLY doing it for the poll numbers.

  32. Deanatay

    Becky: Ummm… I need an adult?

    Robin: I’M AN ADU-

    Becky: No you’re not.

    1. abysswatcher1993

      Even Vegeta is a better parent than Robin.

  33. Wakeangel2001

    when I tried to read that second hashtag it took me 3 tried to not read it as “Sonic-something-something”

  34. Oberon

    #CheckOutBernie’sRackI’mJustSayin’

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