209

Illicit
Posted on January 7, 2019 by David M Willis
December's second Patreon bonus strip is up, and it's about FUCKFACE (the iguana)!  All Patrons can go check it out this very second! And, hey, you can also upgrade to seeing tomorrow's strip a day early every day! That comes in handy sometimes.

209 thoughts on “Illicit”

  1. Ana Chronistic

    TO SPITE YOU

    1. Spaz

      oooooh…..I know someone who was selling stuff there.

      She had a lot of Deltarune plush to sell and she had her sewing machine at her table, working during the con.

      I know it’s a long shot, but you didn’t happen to pass by her booth, did you?

      1. Clif

        Apparent link does not work for me. I feel spited.

        1. Inahc

          it’s hovertext, so it’s spiting everyone who usually reads from a phone/tablet! (it’s technically not impossible to read, but iirc you have to slog through the source code)

          and it just says they’re back from MAGfest. 😛

      2. Ana Chronistic

        no doubt I did pass by her booth since I pass by all of them at least twice (I get bored late at night and we didn’t get a room this year so I was waiting for my ride)

        idk Deltarune tho so ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

  2. Sporky

    Sarah’s face in the last panel is great. That’s how I feel about Joyce right now tbh

    1. ValdVin

      Yep. But Sarah’s face in the last panel is about 10 percent more than in the others. Apparently the teenage drama will seek her out and she is designed to it.

      1. DarkoNeko

        Sarah is so tired of this shit

        1. DarkoNeko

          taking the bat out of the closet in 3…2…

      2. Nono

        It’s more the slight pause where the small ray of hope shines through that Walky’s rebuttal would have made Joyce stop her badgering.

        But then nope, she doubled back down.

        1. AntJ

          I think Sarah’s about to go off

    2. Keulen

      I can’t tell if Sarah’s annoyed at Joyce, or just annoyed at having to hear about this “teenage drama” in general. If it’s annoyed at Joyce, I’m definitely feeling the same way right now.

      1. Deanatay

        I think the answer is “yes”. Everyone is being teen angsty right now, and they’re insisting on doing it IN HER SPACE. I think Bat-kun may need to make an appearance, soon.

    3. Needfuldoer

      [Irritation fucktouples in size]

      At the same time, this is such a Joyce and Walky moment. Even if they never get together in this universe, it’s still fun to watch their back-and-forth bickering.

  3. shadowcell

    Dumbing of Age Book 9: It’s Degenerate Sleaze!

    1. woobie

      Not sleazy enough; Walky doesn’t say ‘fuck’.

      1. DarkoNeko

        but he does

  4. Doctor_Who

    I just noticed that Walky is physically hiding behind Sarah. That’s fantastic.

    I think she just realized it too, judging by her expression in the last panel. I get the feeling she doesn’t think that’s fantastic.

    1. ShinyNeen

      Sarah’s tall, so obviously she’s a good human shield right? That’s how that works?

      1. Doctor_Who

        She’s pretty thin though, Walky may have to turn sideways.

        Also this kinda strikes me as hiding behind a grizzly bear to protect yourself from an angry squirrel.

        1. Piotr W

          Well, the squirrel could always go for the jugular, so…

        2. ShinyNeen

          And sometimes the grizzly bear just looks so cuddly! Even though you should know better.

        3. Marsh Maryrose

          When the Rabbit of Caerbannog comes for you…

        4. LookingIn

          thankfully he has the Holy Hand Grenade of Antioch waiting to use…

        5. Fred Garber

          But he’s doing so badly in Math Class, will he know to count to Three?

        6. BSLangley

          Five is right out!

        7. Deanatay

          Behind a grizzly bear is the WORSE place to hide from squirrels. Now, to hide from the BEAR…

    2. LeslieBean4Shizzle

      I didn’t notice that until I saw your comment and looked again.
      THANK YOU!
      That makes this page of the comic like ten times better. And it was already pretty good to start with.

  5. AnvilPro

    Joyce you’re so likable, please stop being the worst ASAP

    1. Andy

      Her culture made her to be The Worst, and she’s still figuring out how to not be that. But yeah, this is one of the time she needs to be taped to a chair while somebody explains things.

      1. Nono

        I don’t think her culture is 100 percent to blame for this, since Joyce didn’t even get access to Disney. Joyce is just a bit of a meddler, and she didn’t have the best influences to dissuade her from that (and yes, I’ll include Becky in this).

        1. Doctor_Who

          She must have had some access to Disney, she explicitly tried to do a Parent Trap with Joe that one time.

        2. tim gueguen

          But probably only Disney before say 1985.

        3. Yumi

          Maybe Disney older than 40 was okay. (Or if her parents had less restricted childhoods, maybe they dubbed media they were familiar with as children in general “okay.”)

        4. BBCC

          Joyce said she couldn’t watch disney because it promoted happiness without god’s love, but IIRC, Willis said Parent Trap was okay because it was about divorced people getting back together. Joyce’s culture doesn’t approve of divorce, so that was probably why. Same reason she was allowed Twilight – it was by a Mormon, yes, but it had important Christian themes her parents wanted her to see. Specifically abstinence.

          Nowadays, she’s not allowed Frozen because it promotes a culture of thinking your parents can be wrong about what they think is best for you.

        5. BBCC

          Just double checked the relevant strip, Willis says she wasn’t allowed the cartoons (but that is why Parent Trap got okay’d).

        6. Yumi

          But not the one with the slut in it.

        7. BBCC

          Well, of course not. Bad influences.

          Joyce probably wasn’t allowed to like Kristen Stewart either.

        8. Dean

          Twilight became retroactively sinful when Kristen Stewart came out.

        9. BBCC

          Oh, it was always bad, because Mormons, but that story still had an ‘important Christian message’ about abstinence.

        10. Needfuldoer

          Not everything her parents grew up with was deemed ‘okay’ though. She wasn’t allowed to watch Scooby-Doo because it “promoted witchcraft”, and that’s been around since the late ’60s. Who knows how many other cartoons made it through the filter.

        11. Spaz

          d;sakfjaf–what the ffffff

          Holy art style change, Catman!

        12. JBento

          Which is the least credible accusation to levy against Scooby-Doo, seeing as the show always ended up with the “monster” being revealed to be someone in disguise.

        13. TemperaryObsessor

          But you see witches are real and pretending they don’t exist is just as bad as having the bad guys really be witches.

    2. Roger

      she is?

    3. Emily

      Joyce just has that veneer of niceness that a lot of conservatives have that doesn’t actually go deep enough to stop them from supporting awful policies and ideologies. Joyce is superficially pleasant but when you get to know her she’s kind of a judgemental, bigoted pain in the ass. Like, for every Dorothy or Becky she is willing to accept there’s a Roz or Walky that she just shits all over with no remorse or second thoughts.

      1. JBento

        On the subject of Becky, I’d like to point out that Joyce didn’t change her views at all: she went through the Bible, realised the passage in question could be interpreted in another way, and went “oh phew, an out, I can like Becky.”, instead of just going “homophobia is wrong” even when said homophobia was fucking over someone she cared about. Becky herself called her out on this.

        1. Emily

          Yeah also, this: Joyce rarely actually reevaluates her shitty views she just does mental gymnastics until she can make exceptions for people she doesn’t want to force out of her life.

        2. 3oranges

          It seems to me Joyce has started reevaluating some of them, probably more than most people do in a month. But I will agree that she has a lot more to do before she is genuinely rather than superficially nice.

        3. thejeff

          She was happy to reinterpret the passage, but she went looking for a reason to make it acceptable. She was going to accept Becky either way, but it was certainly easier to find a way that didn’t require giving up her religion. Remember, she picked Becky first and then went looking.
          Becky did call her on and rightly so, but she was going with Becky anyway.

          And once she had that trigger, she’s not just making an exception for Becky. She has changed her whole outlook on those views and it’s thrown her into conflict with her family and her whole community.

          I don’t even understand what you mean by “didn’t change her views”. Of course she did.

          And frankly, this is how most people changed their views on homosexuality – they had someone they knew and admired come out.

        4. Emily

          Except Joyce is going to have to give up her religion because the religious tradition she comes from is irreconcilable with being a decent human being. There is no way to support the doctrine it espouses and still claim that you give a fuck about people who don’t fall in line with it with any sort of moral consistency.

          And it’s how self-absorbed people with limited empathy change their views because they need to have the injustice and suffering of others literally rubbed in their face by someone close to them before they can be bothered to care. The mistreatment of minorities is not some secret thing that it’s hard to learn about it just requires a modicum of giving a crap about people you don’t know.

        5. FairyGothMama

          She would have to give up her denomination, but not her entire religion. There are dozens of denominations in the US that support LGBTQ rights, and I even found a few that are pro-choice.

        6. Liquid Len

          True. Even in-comic Jacob brought her to his Episcopalian church, which is”cool with gay people”

        7. Emily

          This is what I meant.

        8. thejeff

          Seriously, you can complain all you like about how people really should just change on their own and those who don’t are some kind of monsters without empathy, but it’s a pretty basic fact that for people brought up in bigotry that’s the single biggest factor in getting them to change.
          It’s why opinions about LGBTQ people have changed so much faster than about racial minorities and even women – because people get to know them as “normal” people and then learn they’re some flavor of queer.

        9. Emily

          I didn’t say it wasn’t common I said it was a sign of poor moral character. It’s the route that doesn’t require bigots to actually take the initiative when it comes to examining their prejudices which is WHY it’s common.

        10. TemperaryObsessor

          Actually Joyce was asking for a sign about how what she was taught does not work with the real world and then Becky showed up. I don’t think God would do that just to teach Joyce a lesson, but you can believe it effected the timing if you want to.

        11. JBento

          If she had REALLY picked Becky, she wouldn’t have had to go looking.

        12. thejeff

          Of course not. It’s perfectly clear Joyce didn’t really pick Becky, because she tried to reconcile her beliefs with supporting her.
          Poor brainwashed kid’s willing to turn her back on her family and everything she’s ever believed, but she had a moment of doubt, so it’s not good enough. She didn’t do it without prompting, so she’s a “self-absorbed person with limited empathy” and “poor moral character”.

          Because she’s taking a couple of months to break away from a lifetime of conditioning on basically her first exposure to the real world.

        13. Matticus

          Effing THIS.

        14. Felian

          A couple of months is NOTHING for recovery from dogmatic religion. I’ve been an atheist for 6 years now and still having struggles with letting go of internalized beliefs. I know they are toxic beliefs, and i know what i rationally believe instead, but they don’t just go away.

          So yes, Joyce is still being awful about a lot of things and still has to learn a lot, but she will need time to do so. And she’s starting to be aware of change, that’s a good first step.

      2. Deathjavu

        Joyce apologized to Roz and Sal, has set out to intentionally change views she previously held, and literally just talked with Sal about how much she’s changed. She didn’t just forgive the one token gay person in her life, she also quickly re-evaluates her relationship with Ethan, and makes a choice that hurts herself personally rather than stick to a convenient exception. She’s changed more in a month (?) than most people do in decades.

        I really think you’re underestimating how hard it is for people to change from what they were brought up in. And we’ve seen what Joyce was brought up in.

        In real life I would guess this process Joyce is undergoing takes years.

        1. Matticus

          Yeah, this notion that Joyce us a garbage person for not overcoming a lifetime of indoctrination and becoming a perfect ally that doesn’t make mistakes in the course of an in-universe semester really grinds my gears.

        2. thejeff

          It’s particularly grating since apparently much of this journey is autobiographical and it took Willis years, which we can see in his comics.

        3. Deathjavu

          I guess it’s taken 9 years in real life for Joyce to change too, given the pace of the comic.

          Still faster than most people.

        4. Deathjavu

          Not that Joyce isn’t horrifically wrong in this specific case, and also with Jacob. She’s not perfect (spoilers: none of the cast are)

        5. BBCC

          I agree it’s harsh to expect Joyce to instantly do a 180, but I also think it’s still fair to criticize her for how she did and for bad things she still does. Having been brainwashed doesn’t automatically make, for example, trying to turn Ethan straight okay (which, before anybody says anything, is not an accusation of someone making such an argument).

          I think it would have been interesting to see if Joyce would have changed her mind if she’d learned about LGBT+ issues like housing discrimination and the church’s role in it before Becky came out. It’s definitely got more dramatic resonance with Becky though, just something I wonder about. I mean, you should definitely at least listen when people are saying things are negatively impacting others, even if you don’t know anyone impacted.

        6. thejeff

          Sure. It’s perfectly fair to criticize what she’s done and even more what she’s still doing. It’s the dismissal of the progress she has made because she didn’t do it instantly and spontaneously that gets to me.

          I think she would still have changed her mind, but it would have taken longer. She was already moving before Becky showed up and that would have continued. Of course, it still could be dismissed because she knew Ethan.

          We should listen when told such things, but the vast majority of people don’t – at least not unless they’re already sympathetic. That kind of rational argument doesn’t work to break people out of the kind of conditioning Joyce grew up with. Personal experience does.

        7. BBCC

          I would argue dismissing news of discrimination and oppression because you don’t know anyone affected IS a bad thing and can make someone a bad person. It’s true that in situations of conditioning, it often comes down to being READY to see things, but that’s not necessarily the same thing as needing a personal experience or someone you care about experiencing it. Sometimes it really is just being ready to realize how much something does not match up with what you were told and that what you were told does not make sense. That’s how a lot of people get out of cults. I know Joyce isn’t exactly in a cult, but a lot of the same conditioning techniques apply because lying liars who lie all use the same playbook.

      3. Matticus

        How dare Joyce be angry for thinking Walky was cheating on her best friend. The monster.

        1. the final pam

          a conclusion she came to all on her own without even trying to engage in a proper dialogue with either Amber or Walky before she started tearing him to verbal shreds over the perceived slight

          like however close the truth is to what she thought it was, it’s still really shitty to scream at him like this when she doesn’t even know the whole story, she just made an assumption based on Billie’s facial expressions and her assumption is summarily false

        2. the final pam

          also, a reminder: Joyce is a straight-up hypocrite because a storyline or two ago, she was explicitly trying to break up an existing couple because she had a crush on Jacob

          and somehow does not consider that to be cheating or a moral failing of her own

        3. Matticus

          It’s not like she realized that she was wrong and decided to stop pursuing Jacob or anything.

        4. the final pam

          She said she’d stop because Walky called her out on feeling lust, not because she saw anything wrong with her actions.

        5. Matticus

          Well for one thing, as much as people say that relationships don’t have a set mourning period, the timing does not look good for Walky. He was making out with Amber within 24 hours of the breakup with Dorothy; thinking that they may have been an item on the side is not an unreasonable conclusion.

          And I’m sorry, but if I came upon (mistaken but not unreasonable) evidence that my best friend’s ex was cheating on her you better believe that I’d be angry when I confronted them about it.

          People are not logic-based automatons that always interpret information correctly or take the optimum course of action. So it really irks me when people act like Joyce is being some sort of monster for making a mistake and not striking the proper tone after not knowing everything the readers know.

        6. Zach

          A lot of morality changes when we have perfect knowledge. It’s not that we make dumb emotional decisions, it’s more about ‘do we have the time or energy to think through every decision and assumption we make?’

        7. the final pam

          No, Joyce isn’t a monster, but it’s still obnoxious nonetheless when she’s ignorant to her own hypocrisy. Again, she was pushing Walky together with Amber five minutes before she started screaming about what a degenerate sleaze he was. And only a few days ago was she actively flirting with a man already in a relationship, in front of his partner, with the express wish to have them break up.

          I agree that it does not look good for Walky, and the circumstances aren’t exactly stellar. Joyce can absolutely feel defensive and angry on behalf of Dorothy because of the information she feels is presented in front of her. But, again, she had absolutely 0 confirmation about any of the details of what Walky’s relationship with Amber entailed, but she wrote a narrative in her own mind that clearly Walky is a disgusting womanizer with very middling evidence at best. And this bears repeating: Joyce was alright with it when it was of her own doing. When it’s actually something they initiated, it’s gross.

          And like, yeah people aren’t logic-based machines and they make faulty decisions. Never said they weren’t. But when you scream at someone because of something you assumed, well, you just made an ass out of u and me.

  6. lilyliv

    Sarah is delightful. 🙂

  7. Nono

    ‘Because of your meddling Joyce, you’re the worst. Now go away forever.’

  8. Stephen Bierce

    *plays the Weird Al remake of The Ramones “Beat On The Brat” on the hacked Muzak*

  9. Kravis

    The hypocrisy on this girl is OVER 8000!

    1. King Monster

      WHAT?!? 8000?!?

    2. Keulen

      *crushes scouter*

    3. Arawn

      Hahaha, did they fix that old dub they had where it mistakenly said over 9000 or has everyone figured out that the dub was wrong and decided to use the right number? XD

  10. MatthewTheLucky

    I kinda want Walky to tell her it was because Amber thought he was being too forward, just to see how Joyce breaks.

    1. Doctor_Who

      “Amber said she would only date me if I was willing to try some things. Do you know where I can get a Superman and Batman costume at this hour? Ooh, that’s a pretty shade you’re turning, matches your shirt!”

  11. lovefleetadmiral

    Her innershipper overrides her morals it seems. Excellent!

  12. Piotr W

    Joyce is being really stupid right now…

  13. Mr. Random

    …when she says “affair” is she focusing on the idea that they hid it?

    1. BBCC

      Either that or she thought Walky was two timing Dorothy.

      1. DaveM

        Or that he didn’t wait an “appropriate” length of time before moving on. Bottom line, in some way Joyce is upset that Walky is living his life without following her moral rules exactly.

      2. Matticus

        She thinks that he was cheating on Dorothy.

        1. Mr. Random

          Yeah, but then why would she be sad it wasn’t working out?

        2. Matticus

          Because she also thinks that they would be a cute couple if it weren’t for the appearance of infidelity. She just said that she was supporting them when she believed that it was a budding rebound crush, and her objection is that he appears to have started the relationship while he was still dating Dorothy. Which, as I’ve said before, is a reasonable suspicion given the timing and lack of reader-knowledge.

          She also seems to be taking his denial of an affair at face value. If he wasn’t cheating on Dorothy, she no longer has an objection to the relationship and now she’s sad because she thinks they would be cute together.

  14. DarkoNeko

    When has Joyce not been disappointed with Waky ?

    1. Doctor_Who

      Hymmel the Humming Hymnal 9: Psalmsational Servers.

      He was killing it as Churchmouse #3.

  15. Uly

    Joyce, take a gosh-darned hint already and *drop it*.

  16. Cattleprod

    Joyce and Walky continuing to live conclusively proves Sarah doesn’t have telekinetic powers.

  17. saltchocolate

    Sarah: *twitch*

    That is all (for now).

  18. newllend(henryvolt)

    This woman is a emotional roller coaster. Then again I’m one to talk, this feels like how I pretty much feel about her and Jacob.

    1. thejeff

      But then that’s a very different situation.

  19. kitty

    i still cant tell if she thinks he cheated or not.. maybe tomorrow u_u

    1. timemonkey

      If she thought he cheated her fist would have been in his face by now.

  20. Nono

    I feel like it’s saying something that Joyce is probably the third last person on the dorm I’d want to room with, and the only people that beat her are Roz and Mary.

    Actually Roz might even be a more palatable roommate.

    1. RicardtheDragoon

      The Joe avatar makes the last line rather appropriate.

    2. JBento

      In what world is Roz more unpleasant than Joyce?

      1. thejeff

        Joyce is far more pleasant than Roz.

        I think I’d like Roz better.

  21. chris73

    I quite like Joyce (well mostly) and I don’t normally have much time for Walky but geez Joyce is really showing her unpleasent side here

  22. brionl

    Stand Back! I’ve got a Sarah, and I’m not afraid to use it!

    1. Michael Steamweed

      Sarah can’t decide if she wants to pick up Walky and beat Joyce over the head with him, or if she wants to pick up Joyce and beat Walky over the head with her.

  23. Dean

    Did any other $1 Patreon supporters get this strip emailed to them yesterday?

    1. DonDueed

      Yep.

  24. abysswatcher1993

    Again, NOT EVERYTHING IS ABOUT YOU, JOYCE!!!!

  25. Roger

    well if it helps any Walky, I’m certainly pleased.

    Joyce’s wording here makes me think she’s under the impression Walky was cheating on Dorothy with Amber or hooked up with her during their break, which puts her outrage here, even in the greater shittier context of her nosy needling invasive matchmaking, much more justified. I would certainly be royally pissed if I thought a sort-of-friend i more tolerated than liked already had cheated on my best friend,

    But on the other hand, if that interpretation isn’t correct, what i’m getting at is Joyce is mad because…he did this too quickly while hiding it from everyone? Which in that case I’m with Sarah, this blows and is dumb.

    1. Matticus

      It boggles the mind that more people aren’t picking up on this.

    2. Agemegos

      No. If Walky had been cheating on Dorothy that would be Dorothy‘s business, not Joyce’s. Joyces has absolutely zero authority to enforce the Love Rules or to act on Dorothy’s behalf.

      Dorothy gets to be angry (or not). Joyce does not get to be angry. Cheating on Dorothy, or moving on without permission is not a trespass against Joyce.

      Fuck off Joyce, you vicious scold.

      1. Anon a Mouse

        To be fair, Joyce is allowed to be angry. She’s not allowed to interfere. You can be mad on other peoples behalf, it’s not wrong to be angered by what you consider to be injustice. However, you have to be self-aware enough to know whether you have the right to interfere. Which Joyce is not.

        1. Agemegos

          Fair enough. It is Joyce’s conduct that is impermissible, not her emotional state.

      2. Matticus

        No, I’m sorry, but if someone cheated on my best friend, I’d be well within my rights to be pissed about it. That would be a betrayal of someone who is basically family.

        Joyce doesn’t have a right to interfere, but she absolutely has a right to be angry.

        1. thejeff

          Well, except that he didn’t cheat, which has to cut down on her right to be angry.

        2. Matticus

          She didn’t know that, and she still might not.

        3. thejeff

          But she doesn’t know he did. She’s making up the thing to be angry about.

        4. Matticus

          From her perspective it certainly looked like he did. Coming to an incorrect conclusion based on the evidence given is not the same as making up a thing to be angry about.

        5. Roborat

          I’m sorry, but with your avatars, it looks like you are having a conversation with yourself.

        6. Matticus

          Roborat: Yes, and it amuses me to no end.

    3. thejeff

      Maybe. Though I’d think she’d be more explicit if that’s what she thought. “Affair” could point that way, but it’s also used more casually, without the implications of cheating.

      Her initial realization talking to Billie didn’t seem to include cheating, just moving on too quickly.

      I think this is just Joyce’s screwed up ideas of romance.

  26. avistel

    Bozhe moi, this woman is such an obnoxious control freak she’s causing my soul to drain from behind the fourth wall

    1. MatsuoTanuki

      I know the feeling…

  27. Plasma Mongoose

    Earth is bi-polar, now Joyce is too.

  28. BBCC

    Sounds to me like Joyce thought he was cheating on Dorothy OR she’s upset he didn’t just tell her they were dating already.

    That said….It’s probably for the best she wasn’t paying attention to him and Amber earlier. And I’m hoping this doesn’t end with Walky telling someone else about the stabbing. Sarah seems to have ignored that part (or really doesn’t care), but that’s not really something you should share without permission.

    1. Alanari

      He’s a teen who suddenly got in a complicated situation that overwhelms him and he thinks he’ll lose his girlfriend for the second time within a week. He probably needs someone to talk to, too.

      And I’m not sure if he’s aware of how touchy amber gets when it comes to this incident. Ethan is sharing way worse stuff way more casual and sal having robbed stores has been known basically since day one.

      1. BBCC

        He can talk to his sister. He doesn’t need to be blabbing things without her permission. I’m not talking about Amber not wanting that shared, I’m talking about how he’s sharing things about Sal she may not want shared.

        Ethan being okay talking casually about something he went through is not the same thing as not wanting someone telling sensitive things about him. Sal robbing stores is known (thanks to Walky again blabbing about it) but her being stabbed is not and that’s not Walky’s info to share.

        1. Needfuldoer

          I think he’s been psyching himself up for the Sal Talk since he left Amber’s room. That’s shaky ground for him too; in the last few weeks he’s realized how good he’s had it with their parents in comparison to Sal, and how he’s made her situation worse (inadvertently or otherwise), sometimes for his own gain.

        2. Needfuldoer

          Fake edit: That’s in addition to the late-breaking “my maybe girlfriend is the one who crippled your hand” awkwardness, of course. He has no idea Sal and Amber have at least started to reconcile over that (and wasn’t really listening when Amber told him).

        3. Alanari

          That’s the question. I’m honestly not sure if having been stabbed usually is considered confidential, assuming you weren’t told to not speak about it.
          I mean, they screamed it at the campus. Literally. Everyone will know it in a few days. But generally speaking.

        4. BBCC

          The only people around who would have heard that were Sal, Amber, and Ethan (and later, Ruth and Dorothy). I doubt the people watching inside heard it.

        5. Alanari

          I do expect people getting outside though. At least here, a fight immediately attracts attention and causes people to watch. Also, windows can be opened. In a realistic scenario, this secret isn’t secret anymore.
          This is a story though, so.. We’ll see.

        6. BBCC

          People were watching, yeah, but from inside, and most school windows outside dorm rooms and some classrooms don’t open. They definitely don’t in the cafeteria and front room, which is where most people watching were. Regardless, people weren’t watching until they were swinging at each other, so far as I can tell, and that was after Sal was yelling at her. Frankly though, even if people had heard, Joyce still clearly does not know and it’s not Walky’s place to tell her.

        7. Alanari

          Weren’t they right in front of the dorm?

          Joyce does know that sal was badly hurt at the hand (and she’s bad at keeping secrets, so at least that part will become public soon). She just doesn’t know it was amber.

        8. BBCC

          Yes, but the people we saw who were watching were in the cafeteria and front room.

          Joyce needs to keep her mouth shut too, but I wouldn’t be shocked if she doesn’t.

    2. CJ

      Do you really think Joyce was so occupied with the porn, äh literature, she doesn’t already know? If I didn’t miss out on something, she caught on to them starting something before even though she was reading.

      1. BBCC

        Yes, because Joyce is not subtle enough to hide her breakouts and hearing Amber stabbed Sal would absolutely cause said freakout. She also didn’t put two and two together and realize ‘Oh, yeah, if she was stabbed she would have a scar, that makes sense’. Walky pointed out to Amber Joyce was so preoccupied she wouldn’t be listening to them and right here, Joyce has no idea why Walky and Amber wouldn’t work out. Even if Joyce DID hear them AND somehow didn’t freak AND didn’t put two and two together regarding the scar, she’s AT LEAST smart enough to understand why someone wouldn’t want to date after learning that. She didn’t even notice Walky LEFT until Amber pointed it out and thought she’d gotten them together until Billie accidentally informed her otherwise.

  29. EvilMidnightLurker

    …Sarah is looking at us in panel 4.

    SHE CAN SEE US.

    SHE JUDGES US.

    1. Jamie

      Shit, wouldn’t you? This is an audience full of people who judge Joyce for not living up to their moral standards of not judging people who don’t live up to their moral standards. At least Joyce has the excuse of being 18ish.

      1. Pl0x

        Being 18 is no excuse for these silly antics.

      2. Pl0x

        If she did this to me when I was 18 or at my current age (early 20s), I’d flip her the bird and leave the room.

      3. Emily

        The difference is my moral standards aren’t horribly bigoted.

        1. Sarah Lea

          For what it’s worth, I think the whole idea is that nobody thinks their moral standards are horribly bigoted. That’s kind of how it works, and why it’s hard to change.

          The vast majority of people in fact continue to believe what all that people they contact in their lives believe, until they have an experience/reason to believe otherwise , which is what Joyce’s interactions with people are providing. I realize things may be quite a bit different for children/teens growing up in the modern internet/social media era, but also keep in minds many of these kinds of parents strictly limit/monitor their children’s access to these sources specifically to avoid exposing them to ideas that differ/contradict what they’ve been taught. If “Jordan is too Jordan” involves Jordan holding contradictory opinions, it’s likely that the Browns, more so than Jordan, have been involved in keeping Jordan away from (“corrupting”) his younger siblings.

          It is actually incredibly difficult to revise one’s views in a complete vacuum of alternative theories, especially in ways that may cause you to come into direct conflict with every member of your community. In Joyce’s case, that’s likely dozens or even hundreds of people, all telling her the same “truth.” In mine, it was literally thousands*. Condemning someone for taking longer than you to learn something despite being in significantly different circumstances strikes me as condemning kids in bad schools for not learning as quickly as those in top-notch schools – unfairly comparing apples and oranges situations.

          *From a similar background as Willis, except one that would consider Original Joyce “a liberal Christian,” and Anderson “A liberal college.” Given Willis also apparently didn’t completely 180 all his views within 6 weeks of college, presumably this “If you don’t insta-liberal, you ‘have poor moral character'” could be seen as rather insulting to him as well (but it’s definitely not my place to make judgments on his behalf).

    2. Clif

      And rightfully so. Sarah intensifies her Sarahing.

    3. Oruncrest

      SHE WANTS TO BE ON THIS SIDE OF THE STORY WITH US!

      …

      …Maybe…

  30. Tacos

    Sarah’s expression in the last panel is all of us right now.

    1. Clif

      No, some of us are entertained.

  31. LeslieBean4Shizzle

    You know, I was just sort of nodding along… until the last panel. Joyce saying “Aww, why not?” after her tirade was just so perfect, I completely lost my shit. I have not laughed that hard at a webcomic in a while.
    AND THEN Doctor_Who above pointed out that Walky is physically hiding behind Sarah, and I lost my shit all over again.

    **applauds Willis wordlessly with utmost enthusiasm**

  32. Zellgato

    uhwalky
    why you letting that illicit affair comment go?

    1. MatsuoTanuki

      Because he knows that Joyce is just talking out of her lily white a–

      *struck by bolt of lightning before finishing sentence*

    2. woobie

      He’s wondering where he heard it pronounced ‘illikit’ before.

  33. MatsuoTanuki

    I propose we campaign for the addition of a new saint in the holy ranks: Saint Sarah the Taciturn, for her long suffering silence in the face of her obscenely annoying college classmates.

    1. DaveM

      A saint? Isn’t that like, a roman catholic thing?
      Let me tell you the TRUTH about that evil sect (opens random chick tract and begins bombastic bloviation). 🙂

  34. DT

    Sarah’s status as audience surrogate keeps intensifying.

  35. DarkoNeko

    I know it’s just because of Walkly’s white collar, but he looks like he has a giraffe neck and it’s hilarious

  36. BlackScarabZ

    Just no winning with Joyce, is there?

  37. Lacuna

    What would you call “Maximum Sarah”? As in, Sarah at her most intense?

    Sarah with the bat? Or Sarah getting so grumpy she starts warping reality around her, in a Grumpity Sphere?

    1. BBCC

      To me, it has to be her whooping Ryan’s ass with a bat. She’s showing her protective side with Joyce AND getting to beat the hell out of someone and be a snarky badass. Epitomizing Sarah moment.

      1. Bagge

        Another good candidate is “campus parking regulations are very stringent” where she with one fierce phonecall turned ToeDad to TowDad.

        (Also know as “smart and mean”)

        1. Bagge

          But I’m also fond of “Let’s make things better”
          http://www.dumbingofage.com/2016/comic/book-6/04-it-all-returns/better-4/

    2. ValdVin

      Sarah gritting her teeth after being the unwanted center of attention. Preceded by talking about being alone and wearing her mouthguard.

      https://valdvin.tumblr.com/post/170871230613/a-brick-joke-staged-in-2014

      1. Bagge

        Nice compilation with a nice gif in the end!

  38. BBCC

    Off topic but I like Sarah’s Naruto orange bandana. Suits her.

  39. Keulen

    Dumbing of Age Book 9: Those Are Two Totally Different Situations!

    1. foamy

      I’ve Never Been More Disappointed In You!

      1. BenRG

        Or “Oh my God! I’ve Become My Mother!”

        1. OBBWG

          I thought it was a baby crush, not some hidden illicit affair!

  40. woobie

    said Morris in The Man with One Red Shoe.

  41. Bagge

    But…. loooooooove?

    1. Bagge

      This arc is a great microcosm of how reality constantly fail to follow Joyce’s script, despite how hard she tries to force it.

      1. MatthewTheLucky

        Amber and Walky wouldn’t be breaking up if there was an iguana on Joyce’s head!

        1. BenRG

          I’d pay to see Joyce try to explain that to Malaya (who would be backing off with a nervous smile).

        2. Bagge

          Nah, Malaya would stop listen after five seconds, do the sign for “I don’t care” and saunter off to do something else. Sarah would follow her with a gaze of annoyance mixed with envy

  42. Beef

    I understand her not wanting any part of this but “I’m seeing somebody who physically scarred my sister” doesn’t sound like teen drama when I was that age

    1. Bagge

      Sarah as a bit of a skewed base line at this point.

    2. Needfuldoer

      Sarah’s begrudgingly involved with the plot, at best.

  43. BenRG

    Poor Sarah though! She learned a long time ago that Joyce’s moods flip really easily but to actually watch it in action is still very… trying!

    I’m pretty sure that this is the scene where we find out that Joyce is basically being angry on behalf of Dorothy and, that aside, she doesn’t really care who Walky dates and when so long as it is cute and happy. I wonder if Joyce will also feel obliged to be mad at Amber for Sal’s sake?

    1. Bagge

      Sarah should be happy it’s not directed at her this time. She can slip out at any time, and if she was just a little bit better at self preservation, she would.

      1. BenRG

        I’m not sure Sarah can just ‘slip out’. Walky seems to be using her as a human shield and likely has a death grip on her arm!

        1. Bagge

          You are right.

          I’m not sure that improves her mood

  44. PB

    Panel 5: … I feel attacked.

  45. Kaunisenkeli

    Poor Sarah. D:

  46. Zaxares

    I just have to say that today’s alt-text is the BEST alt-text of all time. OF ALL TIME.

  47. BenRG

    I suspect that Sarah feels that Joyce and Walky are behaving as if they’re about 2/3s their chronological ages. I can’t say that she’s wrong!

  48. Yeppers

    This comic makes a lot more sense (and is more enjoyable) now that I finally learned Joyce is semi-autobiographical for Willis. I wonder if Joyce-as-manic-matchmaker is part of that autobiography.

  49. TemplarKnight

    When you wanna call someone out on their shit, but not, y’know, mess things up.

  50. Ryek Hvek

    FF says ~ “Sign up for Patreon, and get the secret link for my NSFW lizard-shines with my Gila Monster sweetie.”

  51. Cathy Garrett

    I think that’s what you call double think. I’m not the least bit surprised someone as pious as Joyce can manage it well enough to turn on a mental dime like that.

  52. Makkabee

    When Walky is the mature one in the conversation you know you’re in trouble.

  53. Eldritch Gentleman

    Seriously Joyce, pick one emotion and stick to it for at least five minutes. These swings are not good for ANYONE

  54. Eldritch Gentleman

    Also I love how Sarah went from “Done” in 4th panel to “SUPER DONE” in the 5th XD

    1. Reltzik

      She’s done?

      …. when did she ever START?

      1. Eldritch Gentleman

        every once in a while she shows a teeny tiny amount of energy and faith in humanity… which is quickly and viciously murdered.

  55. Roborat

    If Sarah intensifies any more, her eyes are going to disappear.

    1. Reltzik

      Ruth did that. It…. wasn’t good.

    2. Deathjavu

      If Sarah intensifies any more, Walky and Joyce are going to disappear…

    3. Eldritch Gentleman

      “We’re coming to you live from a campus where an enraged female African-American student has apparently committed dual murder slash sodomy with a long phallic object mostly used for more… let’s say leisurely activities.”
      “Well she must have invested a lot of effort into this considering her weapon of choice.”

  56. Bagge

    So…. if I follow this particular brand of Weather On Planet Joyce right, a rebound crush is cute but infidelity is bad but if the crush is not reciprocated it might be indicative of Hardship and Tribulation of the kind that would require Walky to stand outside her window with a boombox or something in order to prove his love – and in that case it could be True Love Meant To Be, which would legitimize even a hidden illicit affair.

    1. TemperaryObsessor

      Nothing proves a couple is meant to be like one of them wanting nothing to do with dating the other; except its that both want nothing to do with dating the other.

  57. rachel

    Sarah’s rageboredom gives me strength

  58. Josh Spicer

    “Illicit affair?”

    Fuck are you TALKING about Joyce?

  59. Katherine

    “Cool the eff down, ok?” Me, to Joyce, most of the time…

  60. Icalasari

    The hell, Joyce?

  61. Micki

    I feel that second panel so much.

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