71

Headline
Posted on August 17, 2011 by David M Willis

71 thoughts on “Headline”

  1. Jen Aside

    Stick to “with my penis,” Joe.

    1. Plasma Mongoose

      Of cause he will stick with his penis, using any other body part wouldn’t be half as fun.

      1. Sat

        With his fist.

        1. Plasma Mongoose

          I stand corrected!

        2. XMD

          … with your penis.

        3. Plasma Mongoose

          You mean with his penis right? Cos I never loan mine out. 😛

  2. meanderling

    Sweet! I have no life!

    Oh, Joe. I love your faces.

  3. buttsbutts mcgee

    Stay classy, Joe.

    1. Undrave

      JOE JOE JOE JOE!

    2. David Herbert

      It’ll be hard. He has a full weekend ahead of him.

      1. Jackson

        ♫ Double double your entendre ♫

        1. das-g

          … yeah, yeaaaah, ♫ it’s so intense!

  4. Plasma Mongoose

    Oddly enough I am uncertain of what Joe is implying this time… I must be getting old.

    1. Aizat

      I do and I’m a 19 year old that prefers the old stuff and sometimes act like a bitter old man.

      1. Plasma Mongoose

        So can you explain to me what Joe is saying?

        1. Doctor_Who

          Head = Oral Sex. Women are lining up to provide him with Oral Sex.

          With his penis.

        2. Plasma Mongoose

          I really am getting old, I cannot believe that I wasn’t able to wrap my head around the oral sex angle.

        3. Null Set

          You just need to practice stretching your jaw muscles.

        4. Plasma Mongoose

          That comment is sure to induce anyone’s gag reflex. :O

        5. Milosh

          Wow, I had to read the comments to get that one. And I’m 19 as well, so I can’t blame age here.

        6. Aizat

          Thanks, Dorothy. Thanks to your article, I’m now getting a lot of girls to do with.

  5. Aizat

    Joe, you sex maniac. Don’t explain the joke because if you explain the joke there is no joke.

    1. buttsbutts mcgee

      What if you explain the joke… with your penis?

      1. Plasma Mongoose

        Then you joke will be half-cocked.

        1. Vivvav

          Clever girl.

        2. Plasma Mongoose

          Thank you! I am well versed with issues involving the penis. 😀

        3. CranJKuris

          I see what you did there.

    2. ProfPenguin

      Remember: A joke is like a puppy. If you take it apart, it dies!

      1. Plasma Mongoose

        Dead Puppy Humour

        1. HeartlessHealer

          You’ve linked to tvtropes! You’ve doomed us all!

        2. Plasma Mongoose

          The more I link to TVTropes now, the more resistant people become to archive binging when they check out a link there.

          It’s like a public service in a way.

    3. Zanosuke_Kurosaki

      Joe *is* the joke here.

  6. Alex

    Is it wrong that Joe is a hero of mine?

    1. bramble

      If it’s wrong to have Joe as a personal hero, I don’t want to be right.

  7. Ridureyu

    Joe needs to get beaten up. Severely.

    1. Plasma Mongoose

      You can always hire Mike for the job.

      1. Canvas Hat

        Because Freckles is busy.

        1. eagalian

          I’m curious, how many meme’s has DOA spawned so far?

      2. Kirby

        No no, I’d say Joyce does a fairly good job of that. ^^ Mike gets to beat lots of people up, Joyce gets the pleasure of it so rarely.

        1. Plasma Mongoose

          He might get to beat up people but how often does he get PAID to do so?

        2. Fred

          For a nickel?

    2. Fred

      With his own femurs. On his FAAAAAAAACEEEEEE.

    3. kagato23

      Why? He’s seen as attractive by others, who are consensually giving him their contact info. All because of his upbeat attitude in a situation that would normally impact one negatively.

      Joe needs to be hurrah’d!

  8. Plasma Mongoose

    Joe can show thanks for Daisy writing the headline by encouraging more women to show more cleavage.

    1. Ancestral Hamster

      I second the motion.

      1. Kernanator

        “Ladies, I’d love to see a chest window.”

  9. Kirby

    Did I miss what the title was, or has it not been shown yet?

    1. Aizat

      If you mean the headline that Jo mentioned, it has been shown. Here’s the link:http://www.dumbingofage.com/2011/comic/book-1/06-yesterday-was-thursday/boytoy/

      1. Kirby

        Right, yes, I remember this now.

        I need to stop commenting when I hit that crashy period before I catch my second wind… Which seems to have been granted by re-reading QC for the last hour….

        Thanks Aizat and Tristan. ^^

    2. Tristan J

      DESANTO BOY TOY SPEAKS OUT

      I had to go back and check. It doesn’t seem quite as impressive as Joe is making it out to be, but then he’s the one who’d know, I guess.

      1. Undrave

        He’s on the frontpage! That gets attention ya know.

      2. MO

        I thought he was referring to the second part of the headline:
        “It’s an open relationship, ladies,” says IU freshman

  10. Aizat

    Joe is living his dream.

    1. Undrave

      Dorothy’s nightmare!

  11. Tristan J

    On a completely different note, I love the way Willis draws the ‘Ooh!’ expression.

    1. Aizat

      Reminds me of Doraemon.

  12. Shifty

    I REALLY wanna see what his mother thinks of all this. I mean, yeah, Joe thinks being known for a sex video is the best thing ever, but I’d really laugh my ass off if his mother showed up in the dorm screaming “What the hell were you thinking you man?!”

    Meanwhile… I’m rather curious as to who would actually consider going out on a date with Joe BECAUSE he made a sex tape.

    1. Plasma Mongoose

      Joe is almost like a celebrity now, that and the inference of his sexual prowess can be appealing to a number of girls in that respect.

  13. MrGBH

    And he isn’t using a pen to write that headline.

    He’s using his penis.

    1. ryan

      his pen is writing that headline.

      1. MrGBH

        The pen is his penis.

        1. Plasma Mongoose

          The pen is mightier than the pork sword.

  14. Zem

    Ew, fingering seems to have finally broken Joe’s hand and it’s now stuck in that position.

    Deflated thumb and the index finger with a 45 degree break…

    1. begbert2

      The index finger looks fine to me, taking into account perspective, but I agree that the back of the thumb doesn’t dimple in like that, no matter what angle you have it at.

  15. sarpiedon

    your mom’s in that line. Does he have a nickel?

    1. Zanosuke_Kurosaki

      He would, but Mike stole them just so he gets to do it himself.

  16. Amanda

    …the reporter does so write the headline. 90% of the time I’m stuck on an article, it’s because I’m trying to come up with a catchy-but-not-cliche headline. /journalist

    1. David

      I guess sometimes they do! In my limited experience in journalism, they didn’t. I did some Google searches to make sure I wasn’t crazy, and came up with this: http://washingtonexaminer.com/blogs/beltway-confidential/memo-media-critics-reporters-don039t-write-headlines-editors-do

    2. T Campbell

      My experience lines up with David’s. This was a source of great frustration for me, because I wanted to control all aspects of my articles’ presentation. They did let me have my way on a few pieces, but it was an experiment for them.

    3. Lunchbox

      Not always true. My aunt works at a national newspaper, and I went into work with her one day – her JOB is to write headlines. The reporters just send in the raw text, and there’s an entirely different team who pretty it up and chop it to pieces.

  17. Glooble

    My brother is a copy editor at a major newspaper – he often gets to write headlines, but never stories.

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