324

Kindness
Posted on March 12, 2016 by David M Willis

324 thoughts on “Kindness”

  1. Ana Chronistic

    woo, hot night sitting by a warm, vibrating machine…

    1. Dark

      …Amazing.

    2. SmilingNid

      Is Sarah’s book a 50 shades of grey reference?

      1. Amazi-Stool

        See her lip.
        It definitely is!

    3. trlkly

      Wait a sec. That’s by Willis, and not our tomato guy? Heck, it’s even making a big deal out of showing their feet.

  2. gkheyf

    i smell a crack shiiiiip!

    …this universe is weird

    1. No Name

      The last verse already had DannyxSal. It’s not a crack ship. Also, I would be surprised if Sal/Amber, the only other non-canon option available, hasn’t already been christened.

      1. gkheyf

        those first 2 sentences of yours are absolutely the entirety of my joke. me thinks i need to get a patreon and plan these comments out a bit. rough drafts are important.

        1. Disloyal Subject

          In retrospect, ‘this universe is weird’ should have tipped us off.

        2. a snow ʍousɐ

          Don’t worry, gkheyf, it tipped me off to the joke! Consider your humor well-conveyed!

      2. davidbreslin101

        I’m convinced a lot of the hate Danny gets was actually earned by his uptight other-universe self. Poor guy doesn’t know /what/ he’s done to offend us. Happily, the community is begining to extend tolerance even towards Dannies.

        1. Spencer

          I dunno, I feel like a lot of this Danny’s hatred was earned just by him being Danny. He starts the comic by trying to dismiss Dorothy’s dreams, had that one moment where he acted like a white knight over Billie, got super passive aggressive at Dorothy for having a new boyfriend, and just generally was kind of boring.

          Like, how many people here even read Roomies? Everyone in that comic was awful basically all the time.

        2. trlkly

          If you’re someone who thinks white knighting is a problem, what are you doing reading this comic?

        3. Spencer

          I think you got your terms crossed there.

          White knighting means treating women like they’re idealized maidens, like how Danny’s initial argument for not casual banging Billie was that “he didn’t want to take advantage of her” despite, for all he knew (and indeed, he was lying, since his real reason was that he wasn’t ready), she was all for it.

        4. Mr Ak

          Yeah, but these days it’s also commonly used by MRAs to dismiss men who raise legitimate problems with sexist behaviour.

  3. Kyran

    Is Amber gonna do what I think she’s gonna do?

    1. tim gueguen

      I suspect her target will be someone else besides Sal.

      1. Mr K

        Hopefully Mary.

        1. Rukduk

          Yeeesssss. This is most pleasing and just. Although now it is also probably jinxed.

        2. Clif

          As nice as the thought of Amber targeting Mary is, in reality odds are very high she’s heading for a deserted stairwell.

    2. LadyThrimbletrimmer

      TMNT cosplay?

      1. Kamino Neko

        … Dammit, I was gonna make that joke.

        1. Screwball

          Yeah, as if she’s dress up like a Ninja Turtle…

    3. Chubsius

      Take out her feelings on Carla and probably make some thoughtlessly cruel error in judgment? ‘Cause that’s my bet.

    4. JustCheetoDust

      Get her alter ego laid?

    5. Reltzik

      I suspect she’s going to find a dark stairwell, put on her mask, and hyperventilate for about 10 minutes.

      1. David

        Given that I think I recognize a yellow piece of spandex in that laundry, your guess is probably right.

        Now it will be interesting if Sal indeed joins the laundry party. Given our luck, it’s more likely Mary comes by.

        1. Sunny

          That’s a t-shirt, it fell out 2 strips ago and Sal helped put it back in.

    6. Charlie Spencer

      AMBER probably isn’t going to do anything. Amazi-Girl, on the other hand…

  4. Dara

    oh dear, someone is going to do something very unwise

    i guess that’s “welcome to dumbing of age”-bait XD

    1. heyman

      Besides leaving her laundry in the middle of the hall?

      1. Dara

        She took the most important piece.

        1. Disloyal Subject

          I dunno if that was in the laundry; I’m getting the impression she keeps it on her person at all times just in case.

  5. David Herbert

    Maybe knowing she doesn’t have to worry about laundry will ease this latest anxiety attack.

    1. Reltzik

      Really? Because it seems like she could benefit from some brain-bleaching.

  6. Doctor_Who

    Hey, ladies like a guy who will do chores without being asked.

    1. Reltzik

      …. many of them, yes. Provided the guy is at least marginally competent.

      “You did the LAUNDRY? Whites-warm colors-cold is a triple-diamond course for you, and you did the LAUNDRY?”

      1. TSED

        “Nope, just hucked everything together on cold water + long cycle. Enjoy picking my socks out of your panties!”

        1. Doctor_Who

          Okay, so the good news is a lot of your stuff was pink to begin with. The bad news is, remember your red sweater?

        2. trlkly

          Doesn’t tend to happen if you keep it on cold. I never would have been able to handle college otherwise, as I didn’t have enough clothing for a full load of whites and a full load of colors.

      2. Emperor Norton

        In my world, laundry temperature is based on the fabric rather than the colour. If colour can’t stand the usual fabric temperature, it’s a crappy cheap dye that should not have been applied in the first place.

        1. NotPiffany

          You’re not wrong, but manufacturers don’t care.

        2. Emperor Norton

          Ain’t that the truth.

    2. Hinoron

      In my experience, ladies are less appreciative of dudes who attempt to handle their dirty underwear without permission.

      I say this as a guy raised in a house with two women (want to prevent your son from becoming an underwear fetishist when he grows up? Make him wash his own mom’s and sister’s period panties a few times) Who later ended up living in a rooming house with 6 other people and one set of laundry machines. People don’t always remember to go pick up the load they started, and sometimes other people who need to do laundry will move your load over just to keep things moving. That’s pragmatic, and not terribly rude compared to leaving your clothes in the machine for 10 hours in a crowded house.

      However, if you’re moving that unknown laundry and start pulling out thongs, bras and period panties… just put them back in the washing machine and go try to find the lady so she can move it herself, or give you permission to do it if she’s genuinely busy. Saves HUGE drama.

  7. Lone Wolf

    The only way this could possibly get more awkward is if Ethan showed up.

    … I expect his presence at some point within the next 5 strips of this subplot.

    1. timemonkey

      Maybe he’s doing laundry too? In his underwear?

      1. Tunaro

        I see your half-naked Ethan and raise you Jacob sitting atop a vibrating dryer.

      2. Doctor_Who

        “Oh, Hey Danny. Spilled some detergent on my jeans while I was loading the machine, so I figured I’d just toss them in. You don’t mind, do you? Anyway, since I’m stuck here until my pants are done, I’d figure I’d exercise a little. Stretch, jumping jacks, you know. Want to be my spotter?”

        1. Rukduk

          Danny: (Don’t say “yes” Danny. Don’t say “yes”.) “Yes”. (Dammit.)

        2. Scar Man!!!

          He’s like the male version of a cheesy ecchi girl

    2. Ctrl+C D@

      Hang on, when was the last time we saw Ethan?

      looks it up

      HOLY SHIT. He hasn’t shown up since December.

      1. tim gueguen

        Neither has Mike. Maybe they’re off together doing something.

        1. Ctrl+C D@

          I think Ethan may be dead.

        2. tim gueguen

          Maybe he choked on some Chik-Fil-A nuggets.

        3. Disloyal Subject

          Is that a euphemism?
          Chik-Fil-A probably isn’t interested in screening their employees for homosexuals, after all.

        4. Tan

          http://www.dumbingofage.com/2015/comic/book-6/02-that-perfect-girl/trickledown/

        5. tim gueguen

          This and the following strip is what I was thinking of.
          http://www.dumbingofage.com/2011/comic/book-2/01-pajama-jeans/swallow/

        6. a snow ʍousɐ

          Let’s go gay for Chick-Fil-A
          idk

        7. Amazi-Stool

          Let’s go gay for Chick-Fil-A.
          WWJCD!

        8. NotPiffany

          There’s an obvious “your mom for a nickel” joke in here somewhere, but it just doesn’t feel right with Ethan involved.

  8. syd

    Thou’st shall Daneth up thy present situation hither

    1. David

      Early Modern English is not that hard to get right. After all, there is a lot of enjoyable Shakespeare around. Congratulations for using “thou” and “thy” correctly. The rest is so barfed up that I cannot even figure out what you wanted to be saying.

      1. Mr Ak

        Dude. Seriously.

      2. NotPiffany

        S/he means that Danny will be Danny. If Sal hangs out during laundry duty, Amber (or Amazigirl) will eventually make her own way to the laundry, see Danny there with Sal, and assume he’s been taken hostage by an evil figure from her past again. Hilarity will ensue, especially if Danny lets slip that he originally mistook Sal for Amazi-Girl.

      3. Leorale

        They probably meant, “Thou shalt ‘Danny up’ thy present situation forthwith.” /renfaire

      4. syd

        Whew, thank goodness, for a moment there I thought I nailed it

      5. DinaWho

        Thou is only being used correctly if you ignore the random ‘st stuck on the end of it. Correct conjugation would be ‘Thou shalt’ (if it sounds biblical that’s because ‘biblical’ is generally held to be KJV, which was translated in that same time period).

        I was super into Shakespeare in high school, and am rather competent with English second person singular as a result.

  9. timemonkey

    She’s totally gonna sit with him.

  10. Cheshrin

    Smooth like a polished floor, this one.

    Now watch as it turns out the rest of the Amazi-Girl outfit is at the bottom of that laundry pile and Danny has to engage in SHENANIGANS to keep Sal from seeing it.

    1. heyman

      I spy yellow and blue in that basket….

      1. Cheshrin

        Normally I wouldn’t take that as indicative of anything, as she does have a few other yellow+blue ensembles and it’s high enough in the basket where Sal would’ve noticed it and been like “what,” but Amber did have access to that mask remarkably quickly.

        Seriously, though, the walls between Amber and Amazi-Girl are rapidly crumbling, and this is not going to end well for her if she doesn’t find a healthier outlet for her issues soon.

        Dumbing of Age: come for the college AU and the poop jokes, stay for the emotional trauma inflicted on the younger versions of characters you love! *jazz hands*

        1. No Name

          Actually, it would seem Amber carries that mask around with her at all times. So, worry not, Cheshrin, it’s all good. Also, would Amazi-girl leave her basket behind if contained her costume?

      2. John

        Yellow and blue are Amber’s basic color scheme, both in and out of costume, just bright primary shades in costume and usually paler and desaturated in civilian attire.

        1. Leorale

          They’re her favourite colours, plus it’s because she’s Amazi-Girl even under the costume.

  11. Stephen R. Bierce

    *looks around for the parody of Rick Astley titled “She Wears The Pants With Me”*

    1. Jacket

      *Borrows Hacked Muzak for Breach 2015*

      https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UZGkzXomsms

      Sorry Steve, Amazi-Girl’s coming.

  12. No Name

    I do not need my future seeing laser eyes to see what’s coming.

    It was inevitable.

    1. Reltzik

      ….. wait.

      …. how do lasers benefit future-sight?

      1. No Name

        They don’t.

        1. EvilMidnightLurker

          Well, at least future sight should help you aim the lasers.

        2. CJ

          Didn’t I see this dialogue just some days ago?

        3. No Name

          Sort of. Ka-link!

        4. Deanatay

          Second best sound effect evar.

          First best: KA-PANTS!

  13. Ctrl+C D@

    Well fuck you too Amber, Danny and Sal are gonna’ go play Mario Kart withou ya’!

    Who knows, they might even dick around on Rainbow Road!

    1. Doctor_Who

      “Dicking around on Rainbow Road” sounds more like what Danny would like to do with Ethan.

      1. Disloyal Subject

        I hate to say it (not to this, just in general) but… +1

  14. Queen Anthai

    Danny isn’t Dannying up a situation with a poor choice? Who wrote this weird fanfic?

    1. Just Me

      He is Dannying it up. Amber needs help. As usual, no one seems to realize that.

      1. Mandy

        Yeah, I know he’s trying to be kind, but their relationship has been nothing recently but her absolutely losing it and him stepping gingerly around that. Frankly, Amber has been treating him horribly. It’s not good for either of them. He needs to confront her about her complete and total psychological break. I just don’t think he knows how.

        1. LimeSheep

          i dont even know how he could do that, and im a reader with no investment and unclouded judgement

        2. m-m

          I don’t think it’s occurred to anybody to talk to a counselor to get advice for how to deal with the situation. Danny doesn’t strike me as someone who knows how to engage with adults who could offer him guidance/support.

        3. EvolutionistX

          Talking to a counselor could just get Amber arrested (she has done a number of potentially illegal, vigilante-ish things), committed to a mental institution (the incentives for shrinks to commit people against their will are unfortunately really bad, because if you don’t commit someone and they commit suicide, you could get the pants sued off you, but committing non-suicidal people “just to make sure” is fine,) and universities, in the experience of people I’ve known, tend to kick out students once they’ve been committed, because mentally ill students are liabilities and the U could get sued if they commit suicide or stab a fellow hall-mate or something like that.

          Danny needs to break up with Amber, walk away, and never look back.

        4. MatthewTheLucky

          That’s way worse than having her committed. She actually has stabbed a student there. She’s a danger to herself and others, and abandoning her is reckless.

        5. Just Me

          In this day and age, it is unlikely she would get committed. As far as a counselor goes, Danny doesn’t have to mention anything about Amazi-Girl, it would be enough to say that he’s worried about his girlfriend and doesn’t know how to deal with it.

          I like Amazi-Girl, but not when it involves Amber on the verge of a Nervous Breakdown.

          One thing that surprises me is that Danny didn’t ask Sal if something happened with Amber. It was obvious that Sal was in the area when Amber suddenly turned-tail and ran.

          Also, Danny really should get more background on Amber from Ethan. Then he might make the connection between Amber and Sal.

          If I was in Danny’s shoes, I’d have picked up Amber’s laundry then went after her. Hurt feelings be damned, if someone you care about is in trouble, you do something.

          So many ways Danny could at least try to help Amber, instead of just dropping the ball and leaving her alone.

        6. Commodore Jeep-Eep

          Talking to a counselor and ending up getting her committed is better than not talking to a counselor and it ending with a collision with the law, because then being committed is the best thing Amber could hope for.

        7. m-m

          “My girlfriend has been acting really weird, I found out her dad treated her and her mom like shit when she was growing up, sometimes it feels like she’s two different people – and one of those people can (maybe possibly perhaps justifiably) be violent. I want to protect her, take care of her, but I don’t know how. I’m really worried. I’m pretty sure she won’t come looking for help.” <– this let's the therapist focus on Danny. He needs to know how to offer her support while protecting himself. Heck, it also becomes an opening for him to talk about his own pain and stresses. Danny talking to a shrink doesn't necessarily translate to someone getting committed or expelled.

        8. Leorale

          It’s usually very hard to get somebody committed against their will. His best hope would be to convince her to get help willingly (because she is dangerous and feels friggin’ awful), some other moment when she’s calm. But that’s a varsity-level mental health conversation that Danny has never even heard of before. He’s just some guy, and from the looks of things, feelings were not a big topic in his house.
          In the meantime, it’s nice of him to do her laundry.

        9. Leorale

          I’ve never known of somebody getting expelled for mental issues. I have known two or three people who were required to take a leave of absence for a semester or two while they got their health together. (One of them is me, from gradschool. I was not happy about it, but it isn’t the same as getting expelled.)

        10. thejeff

          We got somebody removed for mental issues. I’m not sure if he was actually expelled, but he didn’t come back. This was 25+ years ago now and I was only peripherally involved with the actual process. What we actually did was get him committed. Danger to himself and others. Self harm and threats to his girlfriend if she broke up with him, along with an obsession with martial arts and a nice weapons collection. Ok, so my memories focus on the threat level, not the actual diagnosis. 🙂
          I believe that’s also what convinced them to take him away.
          He was much less scary later on medication.

      2. Cephalo the Pod

        Danny totally realizes that. He just doesn’t know how to approach Amber about it.

      3. Vex Godglove

        He’s respecting her boundaries. She says no, leave her alone, and he’s respecting that.

      4. Queen Anthai

        He does realize it, I think. But she told him to go away, and while he isn’t familiar with panic disorder enough yet to realize that might not be the best thing, he IS at least demonstrating a small kindness and not actively making things worse, so that’s a step up for Danny.

        I have bad panic attacks too, although they’re not PTSD-related and I don’t unhealthily compartmentalize into a masked vigilante. Sometimes I really can’t stand to be touched or even near people when they happen, but I’m also not Amber and don’t know what a proper coping mechanism for her disorder might be. It’d be a hell of a twist if Sal were to be the one to insist Amber go to the ER for psychiatric help. It might do them both a lot of good to confront that moment together and work past it.

        1. Uncertainty Moth

          Given Sal’s opinion of therapists, that is sadly unlikely.

      5. Marie

        What Vex said, plus it’s not his responsibility (even as a good friend) to force her into therapy or something, and tailing her would accomplish all of nothing (unless he wanted to call campus security, which would change from a wellness check to ‘follow the girl in the costume’).

        At the same time, recognizing Amber is obviously having trouble, he’s helping with one of her mundane responsibilities.

        (re: the friending up her trigger stuff, how would he know that Sal’s what triggered her just now, and even if it’s very bad timing, he’s allowed friends his other friends don’t approve of)

    2. No Name

      What comic are you reading? The one I’m reading has Danny obliviously asking his girlfriend’s trigger if she wants to join him while his girlfriend goes into superhero mode to “deal” with said trigger. Looks like classic Danny to me.

      1. JessWitt

        There is no honest way Danny would ever know this unless Amber straight up told him.

      2. Pantheon the Mantheon

        You can’t exactly blame him for the coincidence of just so happening to meet and become sort of friends with the very same person who traumatized Amber years ago. There’s literally no way he could possible know.

        1. tim gueguen

          Do we even know how much Danny knows about that night? He knows Amber had an emotionally abusive dad who physically abused her mother, but I’m not sure Amber has given him all the details about the Sal situation.

        2. Tenn

          I don’t think Amber has told him anything about that night.

        3. Spencer

          Ethan told him about the robbery, that he was taken hostage, and that it had an effect on Amber.

        4. DinaWho

          Amazigirl did tell Ethan at one point that the person who took him hostage (Sal, but she didn’t refer to her by name – even though they live on the same hall I’m not sure she knows Sal by name), but I don’t think that was something Ethan told Danny. While Ethan thinks Sal is vaguely familiar, he doesn’t know from where, so he wouldn’t know Sal was a trigger either.

        5. Spencer

          She doesn’t know Sal’s name, and in a deleted strip from their first encounter, Amazi-Girl had a little speech about how she didn’t want to know Sal’s name because she didn’t care who she was, what mattered was that she was a concept she needed to defeat.

          She also doesn’t know that Walky is Sal’s brother, but he “sets the corners of her brain on fire.” And you’re correct that Danny doesn’t know that the girl who held Ethan hostage is at the school.

        6. Reltzik

          “You can’t exactly blame him…”

          SURE we can! And to prove it, we are! Haven’t you been reading the comments section any time in the past 5 years?

          =P

        7. DaveM

          Small point. Blaine traumatized Amber. Sal just provided a focal point. Amber would be just as messed up (though probably in a different way) if she and Sal had never crossed paths all those years ago.

      3. Doom Shepherd

        The comic where he has no idea she’s her trigger and thusly can’t be blamed for talking to her?

        1. No Name

          And I’m not blaming Danny. He’s not an idiot. He just doesn’t know what he should know, nor does he know that he should, so he can’t ask the right questions.

        2. trlkly

          Instead of backpedalling, you could actually admit you made a mistake. We can see exactly what you said, and you did indeed blame Danny.

      4. No Name

        Like I said, “obliviously”. The “obliviously” is a very important part of “Danning something up”. Otherwise, it’s just Miking it up.

        1. LimeSheep

          its always seemed mean-spirited to me to blame danny for not knowing things

        2. Marisa Mockery

          Yeah he didn’t Dan anything. Sal Sal’d up this situationpretty well.

        3. Disloyal Subject

          I think that’s kind of the point.

        4. trlkly

          Then it’s wrong to do. And, if you do it here, you likely blame people in real life.

          I told people that I will point it out if you start hating on Danny for real. And it sure seems like what you are doing. You admit he didn’t do anything wrong, but then keep shitting on him.

        5. Norah

          How should he know about the robbery if Amber didn’t tell him? I don’t think Amber has even intimated to him that Sal is a trigger for her. It’s ok to joke about him Danning things up, but I don’t think anyone could seriously say that he’s doing that here.

      5. Just Me

        It almost seems like Danny is flirting with Sal.

    3. Vex Godglove

      He’ll Dan it up when someone spots the AG costume while he’s doing her laundry.

  15. Just Me

    Amber is having a panic attack. She doesn’t have meds for it, so she is doing the only thing she can to stop it. Hide behind the mask.

  16. Xerxes93

    I can’t believe I ever hated Danny.

    1. Ctrl+C D@

      I can’t believe ANYONE hated Danny. But then again his whole character is supposed to be the person who gets shit on, so in a meta sorta’ way that makes sense.

      1. Doctor_Who

        I think it’s more residual hate from Roomies, where he was more sanctimonious and less self-aware.

        1. Ctrl+C D@

          Well, from recent strips with him and Amber it’s painfully obvious he’s self-aware, and very aware of how most people treat him.

          Hell I hope Willis never has Joe “dump” him as a friend because I’m pretty sure that would kill his heart.

        2. Someone

          Danny goes full super villain

        3. Disloyal Subject

          …YES PLEASE.

        4. Reltzik

          Following the Riddler arch-type. He Dans it up for all the villains he teams up with.

        5. Doctor_Who

          I could totally see that. Instead of leaving riddles at crime scenes, he’d leave an apology note, sign his name, and include an address where victims can forward the bill for any damages.

        6. inqntrol

          Damn, that makes him worse than the original Riddler.

  17. Pogo

    I’m so tired of watching Amber do the same thing repeatedly. Hopefully this confrontation will be different from last time?

    1. Mandy

      Same here. I’m really just not able to understand why putting on the mask really helps her process that much better. It’s literally just you with a mask on. Amazi-Girl is not a separate person.

      1. StClair

        Amber is doing her very best (or worst) to make her so, though.

      2. Screwball

        That’s just it, to her it IS basically another person.

        Daniel here. With the mask on, she becomes Amazigirl, superhero who battles crime, takes on people Amber’s scared of & jumps over rooftops only to then slide down a powerline & onto a passing truck. Amber is someone who’s terrified of Sal, stays on her computer all day & kills spiders…

        Here’s another angle – Take say, a high school nerd. He’ll get pushed around, bumped, picked on & generally have plenty happen to him to give him bad self esteem. They treat him like dirt, no even bothering to get to know the real him, so he just shuffles through the day until it starts getting late…

        That same nerd then walks into the locker-room office before a big game, slips into the team mascot costume, complete with oversized head & maybe even balaclava mask underneath. He then runs out onto the field to the roar of the whole school as THEIR AWESOME MASCOT entertains them with dancing, gymnastics, everything he knows the crowd loves. He lives it up big time, loving every minute of the crowds chears, despite the fact few others know he’s the guy the jocks are gonna shove in a locker tomorrow. Right now, he’s got the safety of being completely anonymous, to just let loose & be who he wishes he could truly be…

        Amazigirl is the same thing for Amber. Safe behind Amazigirl’s mask & costume, Amber’s identity is concealed, protected. She is anonymous. Allowing her to become whoever she wants, or NEEDS, to be. To Amber, Amazigirl NEEDS to be a way of venting feelings she’s unable to process as herself, that’s why Amber created her.

        Don’t forget, Amber has Post Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD), basically meaning being in a hold up & having her ONLY friend taken hostage, then having her dickhead Dad basically verbally abuse her for not doing anything messed her head up. Can’t find it now, but instead of counseling, her Dad sent to to martial arts training, so I recon she’s not doing too bad considering she could be dealing with what Joyce is – seeing her attacker (Sal in this case) in every unknown face, becoming too terrified to do anything…

        1. Pogo

          Yeah, I get that. It’s hard for to me to explain why I don’t like Amber, because when I look at her background it’s super fair for her to be the way she is.
          I think what gets me though is Amber’s hypocrisy, and it’s completely justified I know, because no matter how hard she tries to be two people, she’s just not, she’s one person with PTSD. If she truly adhered to Amazi-girls standards then she wouldn’t have confronted Sal the way she has before, or if she had she should seek out every student with record and constantly keep tags on them (Billie for sure), which would be stupid and ridiculous. I think what bothers me most about her is that when Amber puts on her costume she thinks she can do no wrong, and that’s why she refuses to confront any of her issues because she thinks she is helping people.

          Ethan and Danny sought out help eventually from the meetings and seeing each other
          Joyce clearly has people who are worried about her well-being, Sarah, Dorothy, even Billie.
          Amber on the other hand has no one to tell her she needs help, she gets encouragement from her peers because “Amazi-girl is awesome!” and Danny will blame whatever issues she has on himself, and Ethan seems to not exist on this plane any longer even if he has been there for her in the past. She has no one to tell her that she actually needs help, and counseling, so she keeps being Amazi-girl, gathering up rage-induced events, and pretending that once she’s in costume she’s actually helping herself.

          Sorry if all that’s really incoherent, like I said I can’t really explain why she bothers me and it’s like really late here.

        2. Mandy

          I know what you mean and totally agree. Also, it’s bothering me how horribly she’s treating Danny. I know everyone around here loves to shit on Danny for everything he does (never really understood why) but he’s done nothing to deserve the vitriol/cruelty she’s directed at him recently. Issues or not, he’s got to decide that he deserves to be treated better than she’s treating him. But he’s so unconditionally devoted to her that I doubt he’ll walk away, even though I think that’s what he should do.

        3. Spencer

          I’d really argue that point. So far the worst she’s done has been snap at him yesterday, where she caught herself and immediately started beating herself up over it and told Danny, over his own objections, that what she almost said was inexcusable and that his views that he’s fine with being torn down because “he’s used to stuff like that” was never okay, and here, where she’s ignoring him because she’s having a PTSD episode.

        4. trlkly

          If you know it’s wrong, stop doing it. You are in control of who you like and who you don’t. If you know it’s wrong for you to hate her, then stop hating her.

          Because, if you can’t stop hating her, what chance do you have in the real world, where it would actually matter?

          Seriously, it’s not hard. She’s not done anything to you, so you don’t have anger getting in the way. So just do it.

          Or don’t, and be a Mary.

        5. Pogo

          You’re allowed to dislike people because of their personality, without being a Mary.

        6. Liliet

          “You are in control of who you like and who you don’t”
          what a beautiful cozy simple world you live in

      3. Reltzik

        Just think “security blanket” instead of “security mask”.

        If that doesn’t do it for you, it’s also a simulacrum.

    2. Disloyal Subject

      After Sal talked to her last time, she might not be taking the same approach. She might be retreating into her Amazi-Girl persona for the courage to talk to Sal and discuss it like adults.
      …yeah, I know. You’re about 30 times likelier to be right. I just hope that, if she has to use violence as an outlet, she doesn’t go looking for Sal, especially not while Sal and Danny are hanging out.

    3. Spencer

      It’s been two years since this plotline started, so I think we’re going to start seeing it kick into gear.

  18. Cholma

    If you’re trying to get banned, congrats! You’re now a contender!

    From the FAQ: “3) Please please please don’t do “test” posts or “first”s. Also don’t post to say you’re quitting the comic, or that if X doesn’t change you’re going to quit the comic. Just… quit the comic.”

    1. Cholma

      Heh. Too slow. The Almighty Willis already deleted him! LOL

    2. Ctrl+C D@

      Who are you responding to?

      1. Someone

        I actually have photos! I do want to ask the original poster (assuming he wasn’t banned) for permission to post them though, as I don’t want to use some guys dumb mistake as an excuse to harass him. (wow that sounds way darker then it really is)

      2. Cholma

        Some fool posted “first!” to get his name at the top of the comments, which is against the rules here, and should be opposed by all rules of society.

        1. Captain Whoever on the Planet of Things

          And you showed him! We’ll all sleep better knowing you stand guard, my friend.

    3. Someone

      Thats not really enough to get banned. That would be the webcomic version of executing someone for stealing a candy bar.

      1. Doctor_Who

        *BLAM*

        Nobody better lay a finger on my Butterfinger.

        1. Disloyal Subject

          What, they get the candy AND a bullet? Blades don’t need ammunition, and opportunities to use a guillotine are few and far between.

        2. Emperor Norton

          You have any idea how costly it is to maintain a guillotine at all times just for the sake of doing one execution every now and then? Just the monthly oiling and blade-sharpening bills alone far exceeds a pack of bullets.

        3. Rukduk

          Which is why I suggest a garrote. Made of wire and two little wooden bars, which you can get at most hardware stores I know of, and if you wear gloves and just leave it at the scene, incredibly hard to track.

        4. DinaWho

          I vote Janus thorns.

      2. Rukduk

        Allow me to introduce you to many justice systems until about 200 years ago. As a case study, I direct you to Wallachian law in 1400s.

    4. Architex

      Justice was swift! Jen Aside Ana Chronistic rightly takes her seat upon the throne!

  19. Rukduk

    Well, this is kinda comedy gold. Either that or something truly terrible is going to happen. Then again, that could be Cathartic as all hell.

    1. Tunaro

      Considering this series? Prob’ly gonna be all three. Possibly but not certainly at once.

    2. Disloyal Subject

      …And the difference is?
      I’m not the only one who laughs maniacally, out loud, when Joyce and Amber punch dads, right?

  20. Architex

    So what base is doing your partner’s laundry at?

    1. Disloyal Subject

      Right field.

    2. Dumb Idiot Is Who I am

      Keeping the starting batter’s car going in the parking lot so he doesn’t get a ticket. Then letting him drive off with your girlfriend and favorite dildo.

  21. JessWitt

    Danny can really sell doing laundry as a fun thing – to cats, that is.

    1. Needfuldoer

      Cats have no interest in laundry until you take it out of the dryer.

  22. Badpoetry

    So which one would be more painful for amber… Danny having feelings for Sal, or Danny having feelings for Ethan? Heck, this is DoA, let’s do both.

    1. Screwball

      I don’t think Danny has feelings for Sal, he’s just her tutor who’s helping her improve her maths grades & slowly getting to become friends with…

      …Which is still not gonna go down well with Amazigirl when she finds out…

    2. Schpoonman

      I think that DannyxSal has already sailed. If anything would have come up, it probably would have been when he was tutoring her. But she shut that down VERY quickly.

      1. Spencer

        Yeah, they both flat out stated they weren’t interested in each other. Danny thought she was out of his league and Sal doesn’t do “adorable.”

  23. Cass

    …Now I wonder if Amber’s the type of geek who, if she comes back to join Danny doing her laundry and sees a superhero’s innocent lover with their archenemy, will have her mind suddenly go ‘Laundry day, see you there, under things, tumbling…’ in spite of herself.

    1. Slartibeast Button, BIA

      Laundry Day is a very dangerous day.

  24. newllend(henryvolt)

    Wait didn’t Sal just go the other way down the hall?

    1. JessWitt

      I think Danny is catching up with Sal as she exited stage left (or is it right idk).

    2. Pantheon the Mantheon

      Danny walked further down and passed her. Notice: the white board has a different orientation, denoting it as a different door.

      1. Pantheon the Mantheon

        In fact, the doors in question are neighboring rooms as shown in the previous strip

  25. Bicycle Bill

    That’s her ‘Amizi-Girl’ mask Amber is carrying in the first couple of panels, which makes me think she was about to run the Amazi-Girl costume through the wash.  So far so good; Danny knows Amazi-Girl = Amber.

    But Sal doesn’t.  And if she is sitting there in the laundry room when Danny pulls the jumpsuit and cape out of the hamper, then the shit will definitely begin to hit the fan.

    1. Cass

      Well, he could be like me doing laundry and just upend the hamper into the washer in one big clump then dig in the even things out a bit, which’d keep her from really seeing anything unless she sticks around to take it out.

      1. Disloyal Subject

        That’s assuming they have top-load washers; it’s a lot harder to dump it all in at once with front-loaders.
        I think Sal would have noticed the costume when picking up laundry though. And that Amazi-girl would have the presence of mind not to leave it in the hall. And that Amber wouldn’t wash it when there’s any chance of detection… though, if it’s wrapped in a sheet or something at the very bottom…
        I am growing concerned.

  26. Shiro

    Oh no, oh no, there’s the mask and I think I see the costume in the can with the rest…

    1. Pantheon the Mantheon

      There’s no way the costume is in the basket. Terri strips ago, sal pretty much did ask the work in picking everything up and putting it back in. There’s no way she wouldn’t see out if it was in there.

  27. Smiling Cat

    What. A. Doormat.

    Seriously, Doctor Wilson just looked up from his cancer bed and said, “dude, what a wuss.”

  28. Someone

    Coming soon, Amazi-Girl: Civil War

    1. inqntrol

      Now with grappling hooks!

    2. Ctrl+C D@

      Not even Spider-Man could help this travesty.

      1. tim gueguen

        He couldn’t help Civil War either.

    3. Deanatay

      Nothing Civil about that War.

  29. Ctrl+C D@

    So, I don’t think Danny and Amber should be together anymore.

    I feel like we’re one more flashback away from Amber going nuts and beating him up.

    1. inqntrol

      Sheesh, that’s the worst scenario that could happen.

      1. Ctrl+C D@

        No, worst scenario is Toedad and Joyce’s mom had a one night fling many moons ago and produced a spawn.

        That’s part werewolf.

        1. inqntrol

          Poor werewolf, born of bigotry.

        2. No Name

          Hypocritical bigotry at that. The worst kind of bigotry.

        3. tim gueguen

          That Ross gave birth to. “The Lord gave me a miracle, a boy child from my own body! And the Lord gave him a miracle, the powers of the wolf!”

        4. Needfuldoer

          That would mostly explain Mary..

        5. Uncertainty Moth

          The one true love worthy of Faz!

        6. Spencer

          …Mary does kinda look like Joyce with dark hair.

        7. Rukduk

          Do not open that door!!!!…. To late you opened that door.

    2. Spencer

      I mean, she almost swore at him and then burst into tears and ran away into her safe identity, and repeatedly told Danny, over his own objections, that her actions were unacceptable. I can’t imagine she’d ever try to hurt him.

      I just really don’t get this idea that Amber’s suddenly going to become a violent abuser.

      1. Leorale

        I think it’s because Amber is afraid she’ll become a violent abuser. I don’t think she will though, she’s so wary of it.

        1. Spencer

          Yeah, sadly it’s something I’ve struggled with, and it’s why I stringently don’t believe that Amber will ever actually become what she fears. She knows it’s there and it scares her. She’s not going to give into it.

  30. Murdock

    Danny is so damned if he will, damned if he won’t at this point. If he goes after Amber he’s pushing her boundaries and not understanding her, if he doesn’t go after her he’s a ‘doormat’ and is being selfish by not helping her. He’s doomed to danning up.

  31. Archivist

    Only Danny doesn’t so much get pushed around by other people as pushes HIMSELF around.

  32. Marie

    Oh, Amberzigirl. No.

  33. Disloyal Subject

    Danny. Danny, Danny, Danny.
    Rewatch some Fluttershy episodes, my friend, and remember that kindness doesn’t mean you have to be a doormat.

    I mean, I get where Amber’s coming from with not having the processing power to be polite, (though I’m blissfully ignorant of the underlying emotions) but ‘go away’ is a pretty terrible way to start.

    1. tim gueguen

      If anyone in the cast is a Brony it’s probably Joe.

      1. takashid

        http://www.dumbingofage.com/2011/comic/book-1/05-media-rumble/screening/

        danny’s already been established as watching that show

        1. Disloyal Subject

          Well, we can assume he meant G4. I don’t think it’s come up much since that strip; I do have some vague recollection of him and Amber debating “Who is best pony?” but I may be mistaken.

        2. John

          Totally a brony.

    2. Uncertainty Moth

      “Putting Your Hoof Down” makes me angry every time I think of it, much less watch it, and the last thing this scenario needs is another clouded head.

      1. Disloyal Subject

        I thought it did a pretty good job of illustrating ‘Not being a doormat doesn’t necessitate being an asshole instead.’
        I also thought it was hilarious, but that’s just me.

  34. Dave

    I wonder if Amber, Billie, and Ruth could get a 3-for-1 special on a therapist.

    Come to think of it, shouldn’t there be a Counseling and Psychological Services office on campus?

    1. Ctrl+C D@

      It’s booked full till next month.

    2. Localvigiliante

      A. The hours might suck (yes it is true this is less of an issue at residential colleges). There may be no opportunity to walk in. Walkin hours are super helpful. B. College health insurance can be bad. Less now I assume due to Obamacare, but mental health parity is still a real issue. C. There is likely a high student to therapist ratio, so if one counselor is dismissive or a bad fit there might not be a more. D. There may not be any psychiatrists on staff, so med prescribing could be outsourced to the local community. E. This could be the therapist’s secondary job. F. Does the mental health/counseling do well designed outreach in order to be viewed as non threatening? Based on a throwaway comment by Ruth I know the R. As get some training. The university could easily be half assing it.

      On a less depressing note I am glad to see Sal offering to hang with Danny. Both Sal and Danny could benefit from each other’s company. I would love to see Amber learn to see Sal as a person who did something messed up instead of as a villian.

  35. ninja_jesus

    I don’t get why kindness is equated to being a “doormat” in the comments section. What’s wrong with what Danny’s doing?

    1. Someone

      Meanwhile in Hell…Dumbing of Age is the best webcomic ever!

    2. winter

      It’s that he’s doing it right after Amber told him to Go away. Danny is putting up with and even rewarding people treating him with contempt. And if only happens rarely that’s one thing, but I’m not the only one starting to recognise a pattern.

      1. ninja_jesus

        Except that Danny knows what she deals with, to a certain extent, and is actively not trying to make things worse. If anything, he’s reducing the amount of anxiety she’d have after her episode when she realizes all her laundry was left out in the open. That’s not “rewarding” anything.

        Your argument would be sound if Amber knowingly did this and was actively manipulating him, but she isn’t. She just went through a PTSD flashback and needs space. Danny has encountered this behavior before.

        1. winter

          Mental health problems are not an excuse for treating people poorly. Amber does not need to be knowingly cruel or dismissive to be unacceptably cruel or dismissive. And I’m not sure I can call this relationship emotionally abusive yet, but Danny seems a little too willing to let Amber put him down or shove him aside everytime she’s feeling bad.

          Maybe I’m overreacting. Maybe this relationship is salvageable. And I don’t think Danny is nessesarily being unreasonably kind here.

          But I have trouble seeing why you have trouble seeing how people might react badly to how the give and take in this relationship is playing out.

        2. Russ

          I don’t think either of them are in a position to be in a relationship. Much like Ruth and Billie, both of them have severe personal issues that create unnecessary complications in their relationships. I think it would be best if Amber had some time to recover from her abuse and trauma, and Danny was given time to grow as an individual (and recover from his abuse). Amber can’t treat Danny right because she’s unable to to communicate with him, and she can’t even reconcile her feelings with herself, let alone with a partner. Danny spends too much time trying to please others, rather than trying to be introspective or cultivate his own happiness.

        3. ninja_jesus

          I don’t see how “Go away, not right now” equates to abuse.

        4. Spencer

          Neither do I. I hesitate to even call it rude; “not nice” feels like a better description and Amber’s in the middle of a panic attack. Nobody’s going to die if she’s a little bit curt.

        5. winter

          It doesn’t. Abuse is a pattern, not an incident. Amber’s been dismissive of him more than once or twice but, like I said, I don’t think I’d call this relationship emotionally abusive, so much as uncomfortably setting up a pattern that could be abusive if it continues.

        6. Spencer

          I think a key element in Amber’s character is that this is something she’s aware of, and is terrified.

        7. Spencer

          Yeeeaaaah, I have a really hard time saying that there’s any kind of pattern of abuse to Amber’s treatment of Danny. Like, at all. The last time she flipped out and ran away because she nearly swore at him, and this time she’s just telling him to go away, because she’s in the midst of a PTSD episode and she needs to run to her crutch. Danny doing her laundry for her makes him about as victimized as Dorothy when she saw that Walky was upset for reasons he wouldn’t say, so they had sex. She was trying to cheer him up.

          Like, no, it obviously isn’t good, even with the big pile of shit Amber’s been handed, she’s still adding more to it, but she’s not one step away from ripping Danny’s head off. That’s probably why she feels she has to get away from him now.

        8. winter

          I feel like you’re taking this to extremes on purpose. I don’t think Amber’s gonna rip Danny’s head off. (I can see her maybe throwing a punch or a heavy object in a bad moment and immediately regretting it – like she did with Mike in Shortpacked.) But I do think it’s possible that Danny will let Amber unwittingly drag his remaining self-esteem through
          the shredder.
          I’m not trying to vilify Amber. But Danny seems to be repeating behaviour he learned from dealing with his emotionally abusive parents in this relationship and it’s uncomfortable to watch. That’s literally it.

        9. Spencer

          It was hyperbole, and I don’t think she’s going to hit Danny at any point either. Even with that Shortpacked! example you brought up, that still happened after Mike, who is a giant douchebag literally all the time, started ripping on her, and then he immediately asserted control of the situation afterwards.

          As for whether Amber’s going to grind Danny’s self esteem, well, maybe? I could see Danny dragging himself further and further through the mud for her, but like, Amber herself would probably resent that, and she’s usually extremely complementary and trusting of him. If anything, she’d probably try to break up with him for fear that she is hurting him. And while you may be right, that Danny is thinking that he has to submit himself to Amber in order to heal her, I just took this strip as him doing something nice for her when she’s obviously in pain. He did the same thing when he was with Blaine, where he wanted to “take her out for pizza and tell her she’s funny and pretty” and that was at a time where had some really confused feelings towards her.

          Anyway, I just really don’t think we’re ever going to see a point where Amber hits Danny. I mean, yelling at him wracked her with guilt. She’s painfully aware that she picked up some tendencies from Blaine, and those scare the shit out of her. I can’t imagine her actually hurting him, because struggling with 18 years of childhood abuse has been Amber’s entire story during the run of the series.

        10. winter

          I hope you’re right.

          But Amber also flipped a table at Ethan earlier in this comic run :/ And I took it half as a joke at the time, and Ethan didn’t get hurt – but he probably could have. And Amber has a history of other violent behaviour. And, in general, it’s not as if abusers are nessesarily unaware of the fact that their actions are wrong, or aren’t wracked with guilt, or aren’t victims of abuse themselves, or aren’t often complementary or affectionate towards their victims :/

          But hopefully it won’t actually go that far. Because Amber deserves better than that. Because I don’t want to see Amber become someone she’s only going to hate even more. (And even if Amber does cross that line, I would still think she’s a loving person who could dig herself out of it and do better by both herself and everyone else.)

          And Danny is being a total sweetie – and I’m glad he’s not yelling at her, or leaving her laundry in the middle of the hall, or being a confrontational asshat while she’s in the middle of having an episode. But doing her laundry for her after she ignores your heart emoji texts for the n-th time isn’t exactly helping their relationship situation. (Although it is helping the I’m-out-of-clean-clothes situation 😀 )

        11. Spencer

          I guess the gist of things, at least how I see it, is if Amber actually hits Danny, or Sal, or any other character who actually matters, then she crosses a line and she becomes too unsympathetic. At that point it stops being “how can Amber be helped” and becomes “Amber needs to be stopped.” It turns a character we’re meant to sympathize with and want to seek help for her problems into a thug that needs to be taken down.

          As for the table flipping, well, it wasn’t okay, but it’s just a table. Ethan picked it up and the day went on, and if it actually was possibly going to hurt Ethan in any way, we would have seen that. It’s an action that sells that Amber is losing her grip, but if we were meant to focus on it beyond Amber adding it to her Red Panel collection, we would have seen that instead of having Ethan blast her for trying to dictate his life, and later never have it brought up.

          But, yeah, ultimately, I think Amber’s never going to go too far, because struggling with her rage has been one of the core concepts of her character since DoA’s inception, and I really can’t see her failing that and being doomed to becoming an abuser, anymore than, say, Dorothy deciding that going to Yale is for suckers, and she’d rather be a housewife. And while it’s true that some abusers do regret their actions and love their victims, I really don’t think we’re meant to interpret Amber as being abusive. When she told Danny’s parents that he was sweet and kind and wonderful, or freaking out because she almost called him a piece of shit, or seeing Danny try to calm her down or do nice things for her, it’s not meant to be indicative that Amber is grooming Danny into her victim.

        12. winter

          I guess I’m afraid of the flipside of this coin. I don’t want ‘this is (physical) abuse, therefore I cannot sympathise with it ‘ to become ‘I can sympathise with this, therefore it is not abuse’. It is a trap that people fall into in real life.

          This is all very hypothetical at this point though. Wagering a guess, I’m going to say you’re probably right and the story isn’t going in that direction.

        13. Spencer

          Well, I just really don’t believe that Amber is being abusive. She yelled at him before and felt like shit (and I think it’s that incident that’s motivating her to run away from him when she’s “Amber”), and now she’s ignoring him because she’s having a PTSD episode.

          But, yeah, I do feel really confident that Amber never does anything too wrong.

      2. Russ

        Danny is a victim of parental abuse, so his behavior makes sense. In his mind, if he’s nice enough, and does enough things for Amber, she’ll start treating him nicely again. He’s incapable of realizing that her behavior may not be something he caused, and thus blames himself every time she fails to explain why she’s mistreating him. It’s not really his fault, he’s just responding as best he can to the way he’s treated.

        1. Russ

          GRANTED, he’s not really respecting her boundaries by getting involved with her laundry after she told him to go away. It goes both ways KINDA, but still, Amber is more at fault between the two of them. Then again, her behavior is a result of her own trauma, which, while not an excuse for mistreating Danny, is a decent reason as to why.

        2. winter

          Having trouble responding to this because I agree with it so completely.

          If your point is that it’s not really fair to call Danny a ‘doormat’ when this isn’t really his fault then – that’s true.
          But Danny is the one with the power to walk away and prevent himself from being treated like this, so I can see why people would be frustrated with him. And since he’s a fictional character, I don’t think people have a responsibility to be fair to him, either. But, hey – to all the real Dannies out there: when jerks call you a ‘doormat’, they’re probably trying to say, ‘I think you deserve to be treated better, and I wish you could see that.’

        3. Russ

          I agree with what you’re saying, up until the last bit, since people who use the term doormat are either trying to convey the “you deserve better” idea like you said, being generally malicious, or a mixture of both. But I totally hear what you’re saying: people are less likely to sympathize with Danny’s conceivably frustrating behavior because he’s a fictional character. Hell, real people like him are treated poorly for being “frustrating” so this makes sense.

          I notice that of the main characters in the comic, the three that are debated the most for their frustrating/poor behavior are Danny, Becky, and Sarah (I’m excluding antagonists since everyone is unanimous about their abuse/racism/sexism ect., since the villains of the comic are more flat than our heroes).

          However, when Becky gets talked about, people defend her, and it’s a discussion. When Sarah gets called an uncaring asshole, or Danny gets called a dope who refuses to defend himself, no one really defends them, at least not from what I’ve seen. It confuses me that these two just get sort of dumped on in the comments, especially danny, since his textbook abuse victim behavior has been turned into some sort of running gag down here. Do you have any reason as to why that is?

          Does anyone?

        4. winter

          Well, I said people using the term were jerks. I agree it’s definitely at least a little malicious.
          But… I don’t know. I have a tendency to interpret people’s words in the worst possible way, take things as personal attacks, read things into people’s tone, etc. So I find it helpful to conscientiously give people the benefit of the doubt. It doesn’t matter what people say – it matters what I hear. So, for example, if you can hear ‘you deserve better’ instead of ‘doormat’, it’s a kinder and more helpful message for both yourself and the speaker.
          It might not be the most accurate, but on a practical level it works for me *shrugs*

          The Danny-hate is kind of a joke at this point, and it’s hard to tell who’s serious. But I do have some ideas about why he gets dumped on.

          – There’s something very familiar about Danny. He’s bland and easy to identify with and is probably the one I would peg as author/reader avatar in a more typical story. And almost everyone has had moments in their life when they’ve failed to stand up for themselves, or have made dumb mistakes because they didn’t know any better/didn’t have all the info. Frustration with self translates easily onto frustration with Danny.

          – But most people also don’t really understand emotional abuse – even if they’ve been through it themselves. It’s hard to identify in the wild. And it’s really difficult to understand these problems as something not incidental, but the product of a mental view so warped that Danny probably can’t even conceive what respectfully asserting himself would look like. (Danny’s been rather passive-aggressive in his attempts to push back, against Dorothy, for instance.) The lack of understanding as to why Danny keeps Danning things up lessens audience sympathy

          – Also Danny’s a dude. Gender roles, blah blah. Dudes are supposed to be less wimpy than this, or something?

          These are the reasons I see. If anyone has different ideas please contribute.

        5. Russ

          Ah, I see what you’re saying. You gave a pretty great breakdown as to why this might be. I know I don’t have any answers better than the ones you gave, so in my book you’re pretty much dead-on.

        6. ischemgeek

          Yeaaah.

          Learning how to be direct in confrontation when you’ve been brought up in an emotionally-abusive household is hard. IME, you either react like Sal (or Billie or Becky or Ruth or Amber’s Amazi-Girl persona etc) and get super blunt and/or aggressive about confrontation and develop a “je ne give a shit pas” facade about how others are going to react to you, orrr you react like Danny (Joyce or Ethan or Amber’s Amber persona) and wind up going super passive and avoiding confrontation as much as possible (with or without passive aggression when you get too pissed off).

          Both of them are because you are afraid of what will happen if you “initiate” a confrontation by standing up for yourself. Initiate in scare quotes because if you’re in a position where you need to stand up for yourself, confrontation has already been initiated, buuuut emotionally-abusive upbringings have a way of making you feel like everything is your fault.

          And I think it depends on how much of a pleaser you are by personality. Danny, Joyce, and Ethan all care very much about what those around them think of them. So they bend themselves into a pretzel to try to please others. Sal, Billie, Ruth and Amazi-Girl still care what others think of them, and when around their abusers, they still revert to avoid-confrontation-mode, but it seems (to me anyway) that they have a take-no-shit facade in their day-to-day just to reclaim some power and their sense of agency.

          And some people (hi this was me for a long time) kind of flip-flop between both, acting the pleaser until we hit a point where something’s a deal-breaker, and then shocking the hell out of everyone by going all rabid-terrier on the issue seemingly out of the blue. Mainly because we never learned how to Do Assertive Communication so on stuff that isn’t important to us, we let others do what they want but when something is important, look out.

          But I think in a lot of cases, it’s about getting something that will make you feel good about yourself – in pleaser’s cases, it’s approval of others. In blunt/aggressive types, it’s having the power to assert their will. The problem is, in both cases you’re running into danger: Being a pleaser by nature screams “victim” to predators out there, and it irritates the hell out of people who don’t want to abuse others (because they can never be sure what you want and don’t want to walk over boundaries you refuse to acknowledge exist). Being blunt/aggressive alienates and pisses people off, and you can very easily fall into an abusive pattern with someone if they happen to be a pleaser type.

          But the take-away is that it’s really freaking tough to learn how to do confrontation and stand up for yourself in an assertive way while still being willing to compromise if you never saw that modeled properly growing up. You tend to either fall back on old habits or seriously over-compensate.

        7. trlkly

          Yes, and you did so with Amber, which is why I am upset with you. You took the mentally ill person, and interpreted the way she talks in a way that it would be abuse.

          You’ve spent multiple paragraphs pulling it back, so I won’t harp on it. But as someone with an actual fear-based mental illness, it was quite offensive.

          Telling someone to go away, while explaining you need to be alone is not abuse by any standard of any kind.

        8. winter

          Re: trlkly

          Yeah and, if you pay attention, you can see me doing it again here right now. Because I know I was too harsh on Amber in my original post – but instead of just saying that – you picked out the one post where I decided to share parts of my personal experience and you used it as ammo for your argument. Help me interpret this less antagonistically, will you?

          I shouldn’t have to say anything about my own mental health status, but I personally find it a lot more offensive to imply that Amber could absolutely not become abusive, like she lacks agency in her own actions – something I’ve also seen leveled horribly at the mentally ill. Amber has a history of violence, Amber and Danny both have a history of abuse, and Amber has repeatedly been too busy with her own problems to realise she’s repeatedly pushed Danny away and refused to speak with/listen to him when he comes into the table with his own problems. It might not be an abusive relationship, but those of us who are noticing too many parallels to just accept things are okay are NOT MAKING THINGS UP.

        9. Spencer

          @winter

          Has she? Even when she was having her breakdown yesterday, she still tried to tell him that it’s not okay for him to be used to verbal abuse. Otherwise I’m hardpressed to think of a time Danny came to her with any of his problems. It seems more like he’s too scared to talk about any of his big ones, like his confusion over his sexuality, because he’s worried it’ll shake things up with her.

          And while I believe Amber could potentially be an abuser, in the same way literally every cast member could, I don’t think she’s any more likely to because of her history with mental illness. Ending up like her father is something she actively struggles against.

        10. winter

          Re: Spencer

          It’s less do do with her history of mental illness and more about how she’s had violent outbursts at people who she cares about, how she won’t communicate with Danny (won’t entertain how he wants to date ‘Amber’ instead, wouldn’t talk to him after things went bad with her father and with Sal), and how I’m not sure Danny’s own sense of self-worth is detached enough to take it without self-destructing.

          It’s obvious to me we’re not going to agree.

          But my original point was not that this will become abusive, but that there were enough comparisons that people are not being unreasonably critical of Danny and/or Amber. Unfairly critical – sure. But I think fiction is where people can react unfairly and preemptive and emotionally, where they shouldn’t irl.

          Alright. I’m done with responding for today, and tomorrow too, probably. This is kind of making me ill at this point. And it’s almost time for the new strip anyhow!

          Cheers, Spence!

        11. LooksLikeDaniel

          Can someone please direct me to the strip(s) wherein Danny gets abused by his parents? I looked at all the strips where his parents are tagged and cannot find anything to indicate that. Sure, they made a couple of slightly below-the-belt comments, but hardly anything I would consider abuse.

        12. Russ

          It’s been inferred by what he says and by how he acts. people really came to this conclusion when he mentioned to Amber that he was used to being treated poorly from his experiences at home (i don’t know which strip it is, but I know it was recent). As of now I don’t think we’ve seen it, and that might be because Danny’s arc has been focused around his relationship and coming to terms with his bisexuality. I hope it gets addressed more soon, i myself would like to see how poorly they treat him in a private space.

        13. Viktoria

          Emotional, not physical. Basically, imagine those comments, every day, for his entire life. Is it any wonder the kid has low self-esteem and is incapable of asserting himself?
          Or as Willis put it, “Danny’s parents treat him the same way as the comments section does.”

        14. Russ

          I’ve never seen that quote. That’s actually really sad

        15. Pogo

          I think they mean more like verbal, or neglectful abuse. When Danny said all those nice things about Amber, the alt-text said something like “Danny’s parents can’t bring themselves to say something nice about him so they changes the subject instead”. When Danny was venting his frustrations about Amber to Ethan, and Ethan said “That’s a valid way to feel” Danny said he’s never heard someone say that to him, which implies that usually his feelings don’t matter, or people don’t care (Joe, presumably his parent’s) Lastly when Danny said they broke up with Dorothy he clearly didn’t want to tell his parents, and his parents responded by blaming him for the break-up, and implying that he’s pretty much useless, and they probably knew he only picked this school because Dorothy is there. This is kind of equivalent to a girl being defined by her boyfriend, and parents encouraging her to be with her boyfriend and put their needs before hers.

          All in all, it’s clear Danny isn’t too favored by his parents

        16. Gordon

          The comments his parents make indicate this is how they always talk to him. They told him that pretty the only thing he has going for him was his ambitious girlfriend, and then were actually angry that he and Dorothy weren’t together anymore. And then they blamed him for the breakup without even giving him the chance to explain.

          During the last Amazigirl blow up(January 16th comic “Engaging”), he confirms that he’s used to being called names and being put down. Dorothy didn’t do that, and Joe doesn’t, for the most part.

          His parents have been doing what Amber did to him all of his life. It’s no wonder he doesn’t get upset by it. He accepts verbal abuse because he’s been taught that he deserves it.

        17. LooksLikeDaniel

          Gotcha. I knew we were talking about verbal abuse as opposed to physical abuse, but I guess I didn’t pick up on all the subtler hints

  36. Bagge

    Danny shows the ladies a good time!

    (Actually, Danny is following Sal’s advice to Joyce way back. He owns the FUDGE out of his own, meek style rather than trying to be some sort of Joe)

    1. Cacturne

      If I’m gonna Dan things up, I’ll Dan it the Goddan best I can!

  37. Ridureyu

    AHA! WIl this finally be the long-awaited showdown between the heroic Amazi-Girl, and her arch nemesis, Evil-Person? TUNE IN NEXT WEEK

  38. DarkoNeko

    It’s kinda cute how they can talk casually like that now~

  39. StClair

    At this point, I feel that the best I can hope for is that whoever Amber finds and chooses to unhealthily act out on has actually done something halfway deserving of the beating.

    1. inqntrol

      Presuming it’s daytime, it’ll be hard to find. Most of the scum come out during nighttime.

    2. Reltzik

      I vote for her finally catching up with Ryan.

      1. NotPiffany

        While I would absolutely go for that, I think Amazi-Girl wouldn’t recognize Ryan at this point. The original description for him was basically “white boy with blood on his face.” It’s probably not an accurate description at this point.

        1. Reltzik

          But it WOULD be shortly after she caught him!

  40. Heather

    Danny needs out of this damned relationship. And fast. Honestly for some reason it bugs me even more than Billie/Ruth and that almost makes no sense to me. I mean Ruth has been worse to Billie in retrospect than Amber is to Danny (more malicious too). And Amber/Danny has had more moments where I can go ‘aww’ too in the past.

    Still both should end regardless of which is ‘worse’. A bad relationship is a bad relationship regardless of degree.

    Maybe it’s because Billie can bite back and isn’t a doormat means it covers up some the bitterness in my mouth I have for that specific relationship? Maybe that’s it for me. Still not the best reason though.

    But if Billie/Ruth is ending, can Danny/Amber please end too? Hopefully without Amber imploding and going as AmaziGirl full time? Danny deserves better.

    1. Viktoria

      I think the difference is that Billie/Ruth together aren’t significantly more harmful to themselves and each other than Billie and Ruth apart. Meanwhile, Amber is reinforcing Danny’s emotional issues and he’s constantly unknowingly reminding her of people who hurt her in the past. Ruth and Billie breaking up just means they free-fall to rock bottom separately rather than together. Amber and Danny breaking up might let at least 1 of them start working through their issues.

    2. zalf

      I could honestly see Sal and Danny hanging out right now breaking Amber. And imo, this one is worse than Ruth/Billie because it is more one sided. Where as Billie/Ruth is (more) mutually destructive and they are both kinda aware it is bad. Still not sure Danny is even yet capable of grasping what could be happening to him/Amber.

      Still, Sal is very aware of things and is one of the characters I feel is great at pushing forward the narrative (actually why I love Mike as a character, even if he is a total jerk). So maybe her being witness the Amber/Danny might help set up him getting a better grasp on what is really going on.

    3. trlkly

      No, he doesn’t. I really wish people would stop saying this stuff. Amber needs Danny, and Danny is perfectly fine right now.

      Now, Billie and Ruth were a bigger deal, since Ruth sometimes hurt Billie. But Amber/Danny? Danny has never shown to be out of his gourd.

      You’re basically saying someone with a mental disorder should not have a relationship with a person who can take it and help them. As someone with a mental disorder myself, I find that grossly offensive.

      If Danny were near a breaking point, I’d get it. But he’s not at all. He does not need to break up with her.

      1. Spencer

        I think Danny and Amber breaking up would be a perfectly valid decision for the both of them, it’s a sad reality but sometimes people just can’t work their problems out, but I do agree that it’s not a necessity from either side at the moment, and I do think that it’s something they can work through should the story call for it.

      2. thejeff

        The problem is I’m not sure Danny can take it. Or more accurately, that he’d be able to know when to stop taking it. In a lot of ways, he’s one of the worst possibilities to be in that position. He’s the perfect co-dependent victim. He’s got low-self esteem, he’s very devoted, he’s used to low grade emotional abuse. If Amber really was the “abuse, then be affectionate, then abuse again” kind of manipulator, he’d fall for it every time. He’d just keep taking it and trying to help her, even as he fell apart.

        The only reason I’m okay with it is that I don’t think she really is that kind of person, even with all her crazy.

        1. Spencer

          I mean, I think you could apply that to any relationship Danny could enter, that his partner could be someone who takes advantage of Danny’s meekness and passivity. Dorothy never did and in a hypothetical future Ethan wouldn’t, and I don’t believe that, for all her faults, Amber would take advantage of Danny, because that’s a dynamic she’s really scared of entering.

          Remember, she was the one who told Danny that being used to constant put downs was never okay. She’s fighting back against his self deprecation even amid her own problems.

      3. Heather

        Dude, the fact of the matter is this whole thing makes me uncomfortable because Danny just sits there and takes it as if its fine even while it hurts him and that is NOT okay. Maybe this will change, maybe it won’t but the fact is this is not a good dynamic. At all.

  41. Liz

    I now ship Amber only with psychiatric help.

  42. LooksLikeDaniel

    Am I the only one who suspects that Sal has probably already figured out that Amazi-Girl is Amber? Or that she at least has a hunch?

    1. takashid

      i dont see it. what makes you think that?

  43. BenRG

    Okay, now I’m scared that Amber has been so badly rattled that she’s going to do the one thing that she’s always tried to avoid and hurt someone at random just to stop her ongoing panic attack. The phrase about heroes fearing living long enough to become villains comes to mind.

  44. Owlmirror

      • Doormat!Dan goes away when told to.
      • Trying-to-be-a-good-friend!Dan takes care of Amber’s laundry.
      • Trying-to-be-more-assertive!Dan asks hot girl to hang out with him while taking care of laundry.

    And on the other side . . .

      • Too-cool-for-school!Sal wants to ride her bike, but . . .
      • Wants-to-hack-this-school-thing!Sal will probably hang out with Dan and talk Calculus.

  45. Owlmirror

    One way this might end well:

    Amber puts on the mask, and the rest of the costume, and then tracks down Carla…

    … and challengers her to an EXTREME *series of moves goes here* STUNT *more moves go here, ending with a big grin and double bird to Carla* SHOWDOWN!!!

    Carla: CHALLENGE *series of moves, ending with a big grin and double bird to Amazi-Girl* ACCEPTED!!!

    Result: Many panels of flips, twists, back-flips, cartwheels, &c on (and off of) various parts of the campus &c, until either campus security chases them off or it gets dark.

    Carla works off her sugar rush.

    Amazi-Girl turns her adrenaline shock into a dopamine rush. (Bonus: Hey, clean laundry!)

    Amazi-Girl (or maybe Amber) apologizes to (and thanks) Danny.

    Good times are had by all.

    Drama successfully avoided . . . !!

    1. Danlin

      We can only hope… *Does series of hopeful moves*

    2. Heavensrun

      “Drama successfully avoided . . .”

      Where’s the fun in that?

      1. Reltzik

        For every drama bomb Willis drops, he teases us with two more.

  46. Amias

    I feel really bad for Danny, honestly. He deserves better than he’s getting. Not to say Amber isn’t doing her best for him – she is putting effort into the relationship, but she can’t support him the way he needs because she’s leaning on him too much. It’s not her fault, but she’s too dependent. It’s not a healthy dynamic for either of them.

    1. ninja_jesus

      I agree to this.

  47. Dariu55

    Danny’s got ALL the pickup lines.

  48. Osopescado

    Shiiiiiiiiiiit Amber. And also, Damn danny :/

  49. Spencer

    First impression was definitely “wtf amber” given how badly she reacted to treating him poorly last time, but I wonder if that’s what she’s aiming at. Given her current state of mind she’s worried that she needs to stay away from him for fear of hurting him.

  50. skdk

    why is she running to her room to change to amazi girl outfit if she grabbed the mask out of the laundry basket and the suit is in there too? i think her amazi girl suit is in her room, and she keeps the mask with her at all times for comfort

    1. DinaWho

      I think she wore the mask by itself once before, on Parents’ Weekend after she punched her dad. She may have then gone on to get the rest of the costume though, so idk. What I remember most is her in the stairwell in her mask and street clothes.

      1. Spencer

        That’s right. I think she keeps the mask on her at all times.

    2. DinaWho

      Also, looking at her direction of travel when we first saw her, she isn’t going to her room. She’s traveling in the same direction as when we first saw her, which if her laundry hasn’t been done already, would be away from her room. She’s likely heading to a stairwell, like she did on Parents’ Weekend.

      Less clear why Danny is taking the laundry in the opposite direction Amber was, but there’s probably multiple sets of stairs/elevators on the floor and he may be consciously choosing to go in the opposite direction to give Amber the space she was requesting.

  51. Paul1963

    Oh, shit, Amber, what are you going to do?
    WHAT ARE YOU GOING TO DO?

  52. Paul1963

    I promise everyone here that I didn’t choose that Gravatar. Completely coincidental, honest!

    1. tim gueguen

      The regulars know. Just ask the people with Mary avatars.

      1. Emperor Norton

        At least one of them decided to own it in a positive manner. Whenever they post, they imagine that Mary’s scowl is directed at their comment. And anything Mary scowls at must be good.

        1. Tenn

          I, on the other hand, am just above it all.

      2. trlkly

        I could have sworn Mary was out of the rotation. I haven’t seen her in a while.

    2. Spongegirl Circleskirt

      That’s okay. I was overcoming a drinking problem when I first posted and look what I got. I laughed hysterically! Thank you Ruthless! I guess there are no accidents! Sober almost three years now! Go me!

      1. Spencer

        Congrats on the sobriety!

  53. Aislashu

    Meanwhile, in the laundry room, Ethan is standing there in just his boxers because he forgot his pants and shirt were also dirty and he decided to put them in too, and Danny walks in….

    1. Wublub

      …and then Danny loses all interest in Ethan, because he could never be with somebody who procrastinates on their laundry that long.

  54. hof1991

    Amber is doing all she can, but she just isn’t capable of much now. Im living with a military PTSD and there is a lot he just isn’t capable of doing. Getting help is one of those things that is very difficult to do. Going back to the military for help when they are why he has issues? Even facing that he has problems that need outside help? He’s about as capable of doing that as playing in the NBA. Its not about effort or smarts or someone pointing out he has issues.

    Amber is more likely to fly than walk into student counseling. Danny, Dina and Ethan have little impact on that.

    1. Emperor Norton

      In other words, it is a situation that makes Catch-22 seem like a slightly annoying bureaucratic problem to overcome.

  55. Sigurther

    Sal’S sarcasm never fails to make me giggle.

    1. Wublub

      What makes you think she’s being sarcastic? Laundry is way funner than doing motorcycle tricks!

  56. thumb

    I’m glad this is all going to end well.
    Damn you, Willis.

    1. Spencer

      Well, maybe not anytime soon, but I think eventually Amber will start healing, and stop being Amazi-Girl.

      Just, you know, there’s going to be a lot of pain on the way.

  57. Mr.Morningstar

    Amber i really hope you’re not planning anything that may or may not involve fighting the biker chick

    1. Commodore Jeep-Eep

      Honestly, I suspect we’re going to see a throwdown between them at some point. Amber’s in a death spiral right now.

  58. nothri

    Its been a long time since Danny was given a chance to Dan up anything. Getting back to the root of the character, huh?

    1. Spencer

      I want to argue this, but the level of coincidence in befriending your girlfriend’s PTSD trigger is something only Danny could achieve.

      1. BenRG

        Neither Amber or Sal would independently work towards any kind of reconciliation or healing (Amber is afraid to and Sal has no reason to know that there is even a problem there). Danny may yet serve a good purpose as a catalyst that forces the two women together in a way that they cannot easily avoid communication.

        1. Spencer

          I think so too, actually. He’s a bridge between the two of them.

          Though, I think it’s more likely that Amber freaks out and assumes that Sal’s going to hurt him like she did Ethan before any kind of positive development can occur.

        2. DarkoNeko

          “so, a threesome ?”

      2. DinaWho

        Well, Danny or a character in a Dickens novel. 😛

      3. nothri

        And for the record, I would love to be wrong on this score. I like Danny. He’s a good guy (I refuse to say egg). But he is a magnet for trouble sometimes. So here’s my prediction. Sigh.

  59. Willoughby Chase

    Motor-cycles, washing machines.

    CHOSE THE WASHING MACHINE and a MATHS BOOK!!!

  60. Owlmirror

    There are quite a few comments up there saying that at some point, Amber/Amazi-Girl is going to attack Sal, and I just can’t see that happening.

    Amber is strongly triggered by Sal, and freezes up. Amber’s problem might well be that she is more afraid of what Sal brought out in her all those years ago — the roaring violent stabbing red rage — than of Sal herself physically attacking her.

    Amazi-Girl doesn’t freeze up; she can cope with being near Sal without being triggered. But if there’s one thing that’s been made absolutely clear about her modus operandi, it’s that she won’t attack someone who isn’t attacking her. And it’s also been made clear that Sal has no interest in attacking Amazi-Girl; Sal has walked away from Amazi-Girl trying to instigate a fight, and later even helped Amazi-Girl when she was badly injured.

    And I really can’t see Amazi-Girl, or Amber, as having the psychological character to impute malice when there is obviously none.

    Of course, now that I’ve been thinking it over for a few minutes, the following occurs to me:

    1) The original red-panel incident was a kidnapping/hostage taking.

    2) Amber/Amazi-Girl cut loose on Blaine when he did his own kidnapping/hostage taking.

    3) Amber/Amazi-Girl went to extreme measures to help rescue Becky from her being kidnapped/taken hostage.

    So the only way I can see a violent confrontation happening between Amber/Amazi-Girl and Sal is if some bizarre sequence of events and/or communication failures makes it look like Sal has kidnapped someone or taken them hostage.

    1. trlkly

      There is one way it could happen. It’s the one PTSD thing that hasn’t been shown. If she actually gets caught up in the flashback that she loses track of reality. It really does happen–PTSD sufferers relive the flashback.

      She’d have to already be hightly stressed, and this would be pushing her over the top. I’d guess it would involve Sal finding out who she is and forcing her to confront both parts of herself.

    2. thejeff

      A bizarre sequence like maybe finding Sal with Danny trapped in the laundry room?

    3. Cerberus

      That’s possible. And there’s another wrinkle as well, which is that Amazi-girl needs to see Sal as the epitome of crime and villainy. She won’t attack first, but Sal and other PTSD triggers is where she throws her intelligence and control out the window and goes hog wild. Even when Sal has saved her, she still seeks to focus on the ways in which Sal is “wrong” and antagonize her.

      So if there’s anyone she would break her personal rules for, it’d probably be Sal. So yeah, Danny riding off with Sal somewhere, Amber interpreting that as a kidnapping, there could be a bad moment waiting there.

      1. Spencer

        Oh jeez, that’s almost definitely going to be the case. If Amber sees Sal next to Danny she’s going to flip.

    4. Havtorn

      I think you might put too much faith in Amber’s ability to compartmentalize. Amazi-Girl is just Amber’s coping mechanism and a way to get an outlet in a manner she has deemed safe and morally acceptable, and we’ve already seen cracks in it when confronting Blaine. She might very well snap if she was put under enough pressure (It wouldn’t even have to be directly related to Sal), and then Amazi-Girl’s code could fly out the window.

    5. takashid

      “But if there’s one thing that’s been made absolutely clear about her modus operandi, it’s that she won’t attack someone who isn’t attacking her.”

      Except for that time she used the flimsiest of pretext to pick a fight with Sal and her friends? Because that little incident gives me pause. It seriously makes it seem like all it would take is something that even looks like half a justification for Amber to go off on Sal.

      1. Spencer

        That’s definitely not a good sign, but at the same time, she did repeatedly ask them to throw the first punch, and only ever laid hands on Malaya after she charged at her and kneed her in the gut.

        Like, she absolutely still went into there to pick a fight, but she still held herself back.

      2. Havtorn

        There’s also that time where she introduced herself by kneeing a guy in the face: http://www.dumbingofage.com/2014/comic/book-5/02-threes-a-crowd/problem-2/

        Granted, guy was being a major, major creep, but I’m beginning to wonder if we’re not just thinking that Amazi-Girl never attacks first just because she hasn’t done so against the named cast.

  61. whispl

    Amber is annoying >_>
    If I were Danny, I wold have run away from this relationship by now

    1. trlkly

      What a rather shallow post. I get people saying they couldn’t handle Amber and her PTSD. That’s fine. Danny seems to be able to handle it, but that doesn’t mean everyone can.

      But to call her annoying because she had a panic attack? And using said panic attack as a reason to leave her? Fuck that noise.

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

*

*

*

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.