Goodbye, my friend
Posted on February 15, 2015 by David M Willis

390 thoughts on “Goodbye, my friend”

  1. Jen Aside

    Next comic:

    Ethan: *mopes in dorm room*
    Jacob: *enters, slams door*
    Both: “You look upset. What happened?”
    Ethan: “Uh, my girlfriend broke up with me.”
    Jacob: “My, uh, not-girlfriend basically did the same.”
    Both: *look into each other’s eyes*

    MAKE-OUT

    ♪Oh… Heaven let your Slipshine down…♫

    1. Pier

      Maybe Ethan will be the first to experience the “real” Jacob.

      1. Crazy Dina

        Considering the discussion yesterday about other Jacob being Sara’s toy Joyce found, Yyyyeeeeaaaahhhh…

        1. Plasma Mongoose

          Jacob knows about Sarah’s Other Jacob??

          CRIKEY!

        2. Rycan

          Wait, what? How’d you come up with that?

        3. John

          He does, actually, but I doubt she’s told him she named it after him.

        4. Plasma Mongoose

          A-HA!

      2. tim gueguen

        Unfortunately the real Jacob is a deathbot from the planet Purnorlus 6. His murder mode is activated by closeted gay men breaking up with their fake girlfriends.

        1. Screwball

          Whaa, another one?!!? Scrap me those things are annoying…

        2. Crazy Dina

          Got a lot of complaints lately?

        3. JacHunter

          Doesn’t everyone? I just had one of those yesterday.

      3. Yet_One_More_Idiot

        I bet that Ethan is gonna go running to cry on Danny’s shoulder now, and then things are gonna get kinda…yaoi. 😛 And very confusing for Danny.

    2. DiDi

      I just wanna give you cool points for putting a song I like back in my head while making this joke. That is all.

    3. Khrene

      “Ethan: *mopes in dorm room*
      Jacob: *enters, slams door*
      Both: “You look upset. What happened?”
      Ethan: “Uh, my girlfriend broke up with me.”
      Jacob: “My, uh, not-girlfriend basically did the same.”
      Both: *look into each other’s eyes*
      MAKE-OUT
      ♪Oh… Heaven let your Slipshine down…♫”

      BUT WOT ABOUT THE JACOBXJAKE LONG SHIP?????

      1. davidbreslin101

        [Enter DANNY]
        Danny: Ethan, is now a good time to oh my sweet lord. [pause] Do you want some help there?

        1. Khrene

          Dem two gon’ double down on doin’ Danny.

    4. Baby Beluga

      Haha admit it, you typed this comment into a text box and copy-pasted it into the comment field as soon as the comic went up, didn’t you?

      Well played.

  2. tahkuya

    joyce is in a hysteria

  3. otusasio451

    Ah, Harry and the Hendersons. Quality nostalgia right there.

    1. Robbzilla

      I don’t know about quality…

      1. Lone Wolf

        Well, it did win an Oscar.

      2. BrokenEye, True False Prophet

        Well sure, the actual movie was kinda so-so, but the nostalgia? They just don’t make nostalgia like that anymore.

    2. Historyman68

      A movie that I am only familiar with from the numerous pop culture references

    3. SteveCharb

      This movie is totally in Joyce’s Christian family-friendly wheelhouse. I remember going over to such friends’ houses and seeing their VHS collections lined with similar trite and inoffensive schlock.

      If she had been more committed to the reference and slapped him, would it have been funny or kind of hate-crime-y?

  4. lordoftheoneyedpurplepeopleeaters

    DAMN IT WILLIS!

  5. Foxhack

    Oh Amber, you can’t shoo the gay away!

    (No pun intended.)

    1. Foxhack

      And why did I say amber.

      Guh. Sick. Feel free to mock me, going to bed.

      1. Rycan

        *channels Nelson*
        “Hah-hah!”

        1. Robin

          I just laughed so hard I think I woke up everyone in the house.

      2. Cephalo the Pod

        *Laughs at you like everyone laughed at Spinelli when she called miss Groetke “Mama”*

      3. Robbzilla

        Woody Woodpecker laugh

  6. Doctor_Who

    30 Rock did an awesome parody of the same scene, with Jack and Frank.

  7. magey

    And thus Joyce releases the homosexual into the wild

    1. Doctor_Who

      Typical conservative christian. Telling gay people to get lost.

      1. Isaac Rader

        …I don’t know. Considering all his insecurities about being gay, he might actually need to be told ‘Go to other gay people!” It’s not healthy what he has here.

      2. Halloween Jack

        Did someone say… “Let’s Get Lost”?

        1. agentsarahjane

          Oh Chet, you were a lost cause….

      3. Ninja Gumby

        This is the best time and manner to tell someone to get lost. Especially when speaking to someone that claims to be able to violate the Pauli Exclusion Principle.

        1. Rycan

          Link not working. But NOBODY can violate the Pauli Exclusion Principle. Unless quantum mechanics is even crazier than I remember.

        2. Crazy Dina

          Check to see if your href is herf. That got me badly multiple times over.

        3. Ninja Gumby

          doh – I think I might have forgotten to close the quotes.
          Second try?

        4. Crazy Dina

          Link successful. But I have flash turned off, so…

    2. newllend(henryvolt)

      Into his natural , The state of Indiana…is that where they are?

      1. newllend(henryvolt)

        Natural habitat

      2. dethtoll

        I can assure you that it is not.

        1. Plasma Mongoose

          She could have at least released him nearer to San Francisco…

        2. Rycan

          Try Seattle. We have more homosexuals here than San Francisco, and our state actually voted in favor of gay marriage.

        3. newllend(henryvolt)

          LA vs Indiana in a burning sexuality burning sexuality battle

        4. Plasma Mongoose

          Is that closer? That will save on the fuel cost on driving him then.

        5. Rycan

          Marginally, I think. Still West Coast US, just farther north.

        6. Tualha

          Minnesota and New York State are a lot closer, and reasonably gay-friendly. Much colder climates than WA and CA, though.

        7. Freemage

          Chicago. Ethan should be released in Chicago, specifically Boystown. Short driving distance, Sal could probably get him here as a daytrip.

        8. newllend(henryvolt)

          Ya that’s a lie its actually the state of California

        9. neeks

          It’s a small sample size, but my two gay cousins who also grew up on Indiana (our families all lived near each other, it was nice actually) got the hell out at first opportunity, so I would venture to guess that no, Indiana is not the natural habitat of the homosexual.

        10. lekoppa

          Generally speaking, Indiana is extremely conservative; not the most welcoming atmosphere for LGBT people. Bloomington, however, stands out. The gay community haa deep roots there, so much so that the town motto is “cone out and play”.

        11. lekoppa

          “Come out and play”

          Sorry! Smartphones, amiright?

        12. Rycan

          Because it is, of course, the Amazon.
          http://www.shortpacked.com/index.php?id=442

      3. Kang the Unbalanced

        Owrful lot in Texas. Undeclared, of course. Whole bloody state’s in deep deep denial.

        Waitaminnit; were we discussing homosexuals or morons?

    3. otusasio451

      Never have I wanted this comic to be narrated by David Attenborough more than this moment.

      1. Rycan

        “After walking away from this emotional encounter, the homosexual returns to his dwelling, and seeks out a plastic toy from his childhood. Despite being unable to return the female human’s love, he is nonetheless emotionally devastated by this turn of events. This relic from his childhood provides him comfort as he goes to sleep.”

        1. Cattus

          I played that in my head with Attenborough’s voice and it was excellent.

    4. BrokenEye, True False Prophet

      Sadly, homosexuals that were raised in captivity rarely survive long in their natural habitat.

  8. koltreg

    So Ethan is going back to the TGS writer’s room?

  9. Dusk Tornado

    Joyce just went nuts already

  10. caesaria82

    Everyone is crying. Everything is awful, everything hurts. Sooo… just another normal day at DoA.

    1. Garrett

      Mike’s doing well.

    2. MacBone

      We’re getting dangerously close to Goblins territory. =)

      1. Kennerly

        Its not quite that bad. Somehow I don’t see Walky getting hacked to bits for a month as the rest of the cast is helplessly forced to watch happening anytime soon.

  11. Kris

    Joyce: Just get out of here Ethan find some one who wants you!
    Danny: Hellooo!

    1. Bagge

      Joyce: Not you. Someone who is… you know… tall!

      1. neeks

        Joyce: thanks but we’re looking for someone ethan can make BEAUTIFUL gay babies with, move along.
        Danny: but he thinks I’m adorable!

        1. MiaKitty

          “But we’re both mal-”
          “WE ARE WORKING ON THE TECHNOLOGY!!!”

        2. Jen Aside

          one day, artificial wombs will destroy the whole abortion debate and that will be awesome

          for other reasons too but basically

        3. Crazy Dina

          Indeed. Of course, artificial wombs will also mean women’s lives don’t have to be destroyed in order to fulfill the pro-life desire.

          Aww shoot. We’re talking about Abortion again. Prepare for another deletion.

        4. Mididoom

          I guess you could say you guys needed to “abort” the conversation 😉

        5. Random832

          In my experience, in these discussions you always get a few people who double down and say people (well, women anyway) should have the right to decide whether children exist with their genetic material, and therefore artificial wombs make no difference at all.

        6. Freemage

          Thing is, transferring a fetus to an artificial womb would still be a medical procedure, requiring the woman’s consent. Anything short of a surgical Star Trek transporter beam (and, just as an aside,
          seriously, the transporters should be able to make virtually any medical procedure a helluva lot simpler) is still pretty much, at best, a great option for women who want the child but not the pregnancy.

        7. neeks

          Heck, transporter beams would save lives just from getting organs to their donors faster. Or emergency patients to medical facilities. Or medical supplies to wherever.

          Man, why isn’t it the future yet?

        8. Random832

          I’m not taking a side, just saying that Jen Aside is wrong in claiming it would “destroy” the abortion debate rather than simply changing what side of it s/he is on.

        9. timemonkey

          And in some places ALL women will be aborted because they`re no longer necessary and males are preffered.

        10. Rycan

          China: The Land of Sexual Frustration

        11. gka

          No, they won’t. They’ll just make it worse, and start an artificial womb debate to top it off.

        12. Hoboturtle

          Wait, you fools! You’re shooting us forward to the Man of Steel future, where we forgotten how vaginas work and we’re too stupid to leave a planet thats about to implode despite having the means to and instead just save our criminals.

        13. John

          A lot of guys have apparently never figured out how they work to begin with.

  12. Rycan

    Joyce, I am glad you see that what Ethan is, is beautiful. But you are his people, too! We are all his people, because he is not separate from us.

    1. Totz the Plaid

      She’ll get there. Until then, just enjoy her well-meaning, but idiotically insensitive sensitivity.

      1. Rycan

        In other words, classic Joyce.

    2. Sam

      It’s because she is quoting a movie, as Ethan said she was – after looking it up, it is likely near the end when the character of ‘George’ is trying to release ‘Harry’ who is a sasquatch, back into the wild, to literally be with his own kind.

      She knows Ethan is a human being after all!

      1. Screwball

        I guess she IS trying to handle it the best way she knows how, even if it IS by imitating a movie scene. Gotta admit, it can get me in trouble every now & again, still learning this “Human” thing. You Humans are a weird lot, but fun to watch…

        1. Crazy Dina

          You obviously aren’t watching it from my perspective. Take me in please! My species is DESTROYING the planet, hurting eachother, and reelecting public officials who all but admit to breaking the law! Politicians are only thinking about small politics, no one is modeling political discussions for the populace, and the media is as corrupt as a download where you loose internet connection at the very last instant!

        2. Kang the Unbalanced

          See, this is why more velociraptors need to run for public office.

        3. Crazy Dina

          … What’s their platform like?

        4. Kang the Unbalanced

          Sort of bloody and shredded, with a banner that reads “CLEVER GIRL”.

        5. Crazy Dina

          … At least it’s honest.

      2. gka

        She’s speaking the a language she knows he understands: nostalgic pop culture reference.

        1. Rycan

          *snerk*

          Should’ve used some sort of Transformers reference.

    3. Undrave

      Well not really, he IS Jewish and THEY are the chosen people :p

  13. Tess

    Joyce, Joyce…you should have stopped talking at panel 2…

    1. Crazy Dina

      Probably, but what’s the chance of successfully shutting up? (I mean in general, but I suppose if you want to give me the odds for this situation too, that would be… acceptable.)

      1. jpic89

        Never tell me the odds.

        1. Crazy Dina

          It aint about you, sister. It about ME. And Me wanna know da odds.

          (Yeah… I didn’t have any kind of references to reply with, so… This is what you got.)

        2. Opus the Poet

          Star Wars Episode IV reference.

        3. Crazy Dina

          No, I know what She was referencing. I just didn’t have a counterrefrence.

  14. Dr.Zeus

    Harry and the Henderson. That movie stretches suspension of disbelief too far. I mean that many cars pulling over for an emergency vehicle siren. Really?

    1. Screwball

      From what Wikipedia tells me, it is an 80s movie. Maybe American drivers were better behaved back then, overall…

      1. Rycan

        Depends heavily on region. In the Pacific Northwest, we’re pretty well behaved, but completely lose our heads when it snows.

        1. oldFart

          Rycan, not a single flake this year, so no “Gah! a millimeter of snow!” freakouts. OTOH, get ready for drought this summer. I have never seen the mountains so snowless, even in summer. The gripping hand is, balmy February is nice.

        2. Rycan

          I know. The lack of snowpack is unsettling, and it’ll only get worse. Welcome to the 21st Century, folks.

    2. AustKyzor

      Maybe it was filmed in Canada

      1. LordHaw

        Was just thinking the same thing

      2. alicemacher

        Have you seen Toronto drivers?

      3. Rycan

        Never understood why we Americans think Canadians are polite. Have you ever watched their favorite sport?

        1. No Name

          Well, yeah, that’s why we think of them as polite. They get out all their aggression on the rink and have none left over for real life.
          (And before you say “but handegg is just as aggressive”, that sport is way too commercialized to be an effective aggression vector)

        2. Crazy Dina

          By that qualifier, our NATION is too commercialized to be an effective aggression vector.

        3. No Name

          True. No wonder we have so many guns and tanks.

  15. John

    This is so wrong, why can’t I stop laughing?

    1. Jen Aside

      because “are you seriously quoting a movie from 1987 at me”

      1. neeks

        Even better, “are you seriously using lines from a movie from 1987 to break up with me”.

  16. nothri

    Wow. I’m sure there was a less dignified way to break up, but I can’t for the life of me think of it right now.

    1. nothri

      I mean, props for doing the right thing and all, but seriously…

      1. Tualha

        Someone dumped a friend of mine via email once …

        1. Jen Aside

          I got an ICQ “make up or break up” ultimatim.

          ***ICQ***

          ffs, at least call me

        2. Random832

          ICQ is unreliable, you could have pretended you didn’t see it.

    2. Rycan

      Well, someone was suggesting going the Ol’ Yeller route yesterday…
      (for the record, I’m certain they had forgotten how Ol’ Yeller ends)

      1. nothri

        Yeah, taking Ethan out back and shooting him seems excessive.

      2. Dr.Zeus

        You mean them releasing Ol’ Yeller into the wild, him infecting the local canines with rabies and the whole bunch terrorizing the town for the last 30 minutes?

        1. nothri

          …So…are you suggesting that Joyce infect Ethan with a zombie plague as a pretext for breaking up?

        2. Lawzlo

          Rabies isn’t the same as zombie-ism, in spite of what ‘I Drink Your Blood’ might have you believe.

        3. nothri

          Don’t be silly. I got all my information from this!

          https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KoBh5S_aWwk

          Besides….is infecting your BF with rabies really any better??

        4. Kang the Unbalanced

          Well that’s how the version I saw ended.

        5. Rycan

          Seriously? I saw that movie as a kid, and the only scene I remember is the dog being killed with a shotgun after contracting rabies.

        6. Kang the Unbalanced

          Well it might have been the sequel, 28 Yellers Later.

    3. neeks

      Kiss-cam at the next big sporting event. On live television. That their respective sets of parents are watching from home.

      1. No Name

        That is oddly specific. Are you speaking from experience?

        1. Rycan

          I don’t think the kiss-cam even shows up on TV broadcasts.

        2. neeks

          Nah, just remembering a cringeworthy video on YouTube of a failed engagement attempt and thought of ways to make it worse.

  17. Wonder Wig

    It’s like Fry and the Bone Vampire from Futurama.

    1. Wonder Wig

      Or SpongeBob and the seahorse Mystery.

  18. Tekkactus

    Came in expecting this update to be extra cringe-worthy, ended up being one of the funnier strips in quite a while. Good job, Willis!

  19. Boomwolf

    I think the emotions have finally driven Joyce over the deep end. And you all know what that means…

    1. Crazy Dina

      Slipshine?

    2. Rycan

      Somebody gets killed?

      1. Rycan

        Oh, right. Nobody gets hit by a truck.

    3. AustKyzor

      Like a billion dicks. IN HER MOUTH

      Or she just seduces Becky

      1. Cynthia

        Right in this parking lot?

  20. newllend

    And with That the annual Valentines day of heartbreak and suck has come to a close.

  21. spriteless

    I wanna hug everybody.

    1. Crazy Dina

      Group hug?

      1. Rycan

        Try that link again

        1. Crazy Dina

          Oops! Group hug?

        2. Crazy Dina

          @%#$@%@%^@^@^!!!!!!

          Okay, one last shot:

          Group hug?

        3. Crazy Dina

          FINALLY!

        4. Crazy Dina

          And I just found out why it wasn’t working. It’s href not herf. X(

    2. IMightNotBeAnyone

      I read that as ‘I wanna Chug, everyone.’ I thought it was appropriate, didn’t even notice until I saw the next comments were about hugs.

      1. IMightNotBeAnyone

        I mean, I feel happy for Joyce and Ethan because I’d been waiting for this to happen for a while. But, I mean, dang.

  22. The Wizard

    Wait, wait… what? I don’t… I can’t… Joyce, just Joyce it up now!

  23. Cattleprod

    I guess Joyce’s parents weren’t aware of the Harry and the Hendersons TV show, specifically the one episode I actually remember, in which Mr. Henderson (huh, in the show he was Senator Kelly from the X-Men movies) stands up to an anti-evolution preacher. It was my first exposure to the idea of religious people being anti-science.

  24. tim gueguen

    Joyce’s connections to pop culture are…interesting to say the least.

    1. newllend(henryvolt)

      Especially since its very limited

      1. tim gueguen

        I wonder if she doesn’t have some relatives that are less conservative than her parents. Perhaps her grandparents, or an older uncle and aunt, who have a collection of relatively old material like Harry and the Hendersons, which she’s watched during visits. Then again since her parents are alumni of a secular university they may not have been as religious when they were younger, so maybe they still have some things hanging around from their youth.

        1. Bagge

          I’m sure Becky was a bad influence when it came to movies.

        2. Rycan

          At least one of her three brothers was rebellious, I think. And there’s Jocelyn, but Joyce still doesn’t know that she has a sister.

        3. Crazy Dina

          I don’t blame them. I have petty decent parents, and I‘m feeling rebellious. I can’t imagine what it would be like with repressive parents.

        4. Rycan

          Petty decent parents don’t sound like much fun.

        5. Crazy Dina

          They’re not soo bad. It just means I have to look further out to find something to rebel against. (And trust me, I found something. Great Father America. DX YOU HAVE NO IDEA!!!)

        6. timemonkey

          I think Rycan was pointing out you said petty instead of pretty.

        7. Crazy Dina

          Oh, oops.

        8. Rycan

          Yeah, I can be petty like that.

  25. AnvilPro

    She sets you free Ebeneezer… or is Joyce the Scrooge in this situation? Maybe this wasn’t the best reference to make

    1. Kang the Unbalanced

      “Marley… you’re free!“

  26. JessWitt

    Bravo to the commenter who predicted “Harry and the Hendersons”.

    And please Ethan, be who you are – college sets you free.

  27. Hoboturtle

    Holy mood whiplash batman.

  28. Head_Alien2

    Damn you Willis! Why can’t I have just one day of cutesy love?! That’s all I’m asking. I don’t even care who it is just me something to “Aww” before I go to bed. Screw I’m going to archive binge the other universe until I’m satisfied.

  29. Kris

    In Joyce’s defense Ethan is tall enough to be confused for a sasquatch.

    1. Bagge

      Dammit, a breakup IS NOT the right time to be adorable

      1. newllend(henryvolt)

        But It would have been a crime to pass this up

    2. neeks

      And pretty hairy, if I remember right from shortpacked and the shower scene (oh sorry Danny, let me get you a towel or something)

  30. ChocolateRat

    Second panel is adorable.

    Also you can really tell Joyce has no idea how to do this, she’s likely never even imagined a situation like this.

    1. Riku

      To be fair have you ever imagined being in a situation like this?

      1. Crazy Dina

        Willis, on the other hand, clearly has.

  31. Yarrun

    I’m surprised Joyce’s family let her watch Harry and the Hendersons. The Sasquatch is basically an evolutionary myth, after all

    1. Bagge

      Since established biology refute the Sasquatch myth, maybe it’s an enemy of my enemy thing? I mean, one of the core tenants of creationism is that science is wrong, and if they are wrong about evolution, why not cryptozology?

      1. MindLink

        I wish you Americans could think up a different word than “creationism”, 95% of all the christians in the world believe in creation AND evolution and ALL OF science, we just believe that God “created” the big bang. Just annoys whenever a fringe group takes a perfectly good word and gives it stupid connotations that have nothing to do with the word itself.

        1. No Name

          We have: “fundamentalism”. It’s the fundamentalists who brushed the term “creationism” with fundamentalist overtones, mostly because they used it a lot when the idea was in its, ah, reanimative phase.

        2. Bagge

          Creationism is the word used by the anti-evolutionary people themselves (at least when they don’t want to dress it in the pseudo-legitimacy of Intelligent Design). It’s their word. I agree that the vast majority of people who believe in creation and science should be outraged by that, but direct the ire to where it belong.

          As a side, creationism is not exclusively Christian. There are muslim creationist groups that are almost identical to the Christian ones in their message. I don’t know about other religions but I wouldn’t be surprised. I hope they have a conference together sometimes, it would be nice to see fundamentalists of different religions focus on their similarities.

        3. alicemacher

          There are also Jewish creationists, specifically among the haredi (stringentlyOrthodox) contingent. There’s a British-born (now Israeli) rabbi, Noson Slifkin, whose books on zoology and other science topics have caused a lot of controversy, including some rabbis banning them and pressuring his original publisher to drop them because they agree with evolutionary biology and admit that the sages of the Talmud weren’t omniscient when it came to scientific matters. More moderate Orthodox rabbis and laypeople support him, though.

        4. Rycan

          Makes perfect sense. Islam, Christianity, and Judaism pretty much share the same creation story, right up to Abraham (that’s where Islam diverges).

        5. Crazy Dina

          My question is, why do new, highly unfounded materials create controversy when put up against materials whose research goes back for years of research and evidence? I mean seriously, if you look at the scientific theory of evolution, you will find hundreds, maybe more, bits of evidence which support the theory, all of which have been analyzed and reanalyzed. If you have creationism… I’m honestly not even all that sure what it’s based off of.

        6. No Name

          Obstinacy. Tribalism. Indoctrination. Basically, all the stuff that makes humanity unbearable.
          Also, the creationist idea is not “new”. It is at least as old as Abraham, probably older, which is why it’s holding up so well against both the Big Bang Theory and the Theory of Evolution, both of which are relatively young.

        7. Crazy Dina

          … You’re talking about biblical dude, right?

        8. No Name

          Yes, that Abraham. I picked him because he’s the earliest significant person in the Bible who has a reasonable chance of actually existing and, well, I had the Bible on the brain. Sorry.

          Anyway, I’m saying that if you’re arguing from youth, you’re pointing in the wrong direction. There’s a reason I said “reanimative phase” rather than “infancy” in my response to MindLink.

          Oh, and I can’t stomach fundamentalism and don’t particularly like the conceit of religion in general. (Although, If I do decide I need a god in my life, I’ll probably go Quaker, ’cause those guys are awesome.)

    2. Rycan

      Pretty sure the Sasquatch myth is older than the theory of evolution. Not that the Browns would let facts get in their way…

      1. Random832

        The modern form of the Sasquatch myth generally takes the form of claiming that the creature is some “missing link” between apes and humans. I’m not convinced that the older form doesn’t actually refer to extant ape species (such as gorillas or orangutans) that had not yet been discovered by Europeans.

  32. Chengrel

    I….was not expecting that.

    1. FlyingFish

      Nobody expects the Sasquatch Inquisition!

  33. Emperor Kiva

    Ethan, shut up and go it’s tough on the poor girl as it is.

    1. newllend(henryvolt)

      Ya just let her have her reference.

  34. MM

    Next panel, Ethan declares the relationship over anyway due to Joyce’s taste in movies.

    1. Bagge

      “You can’t break up with me because I broke up with you first”
      “No, I broke up with YOU first”
      “But you watch terrible movies”
      “But you knew that quote.”

  35. Krzysz

    Well, this is awkward. Joyce just made another gay man fall in love with her.

    1. Crazy Dina

      Krzysz, she is a fictional character. You are not.

      No wait, Joyce is autobiographical. Okay then:

      Joyce is married. You are not his wife.

      1. John

        Huh, now I’m wondering if Willis broke up with his lesbian girlfriend by quoting Harry and the Hendersons at her.

  36. Marc in MN

    What’s really scary is these two weren’t even born when that movie came out. :p

    1. Carriethedragon

      On multiple occasions, people have pointed out to me that the Lion King is now 20+ years old, and doesn’t that make me feel so old??? Like, dude. You know I’m 18. Think for a second.

      1. dethtoll

        I’m 32. My favourite movie (Blade Runner) is very slightly older than I am. I try not to think about it.

        1. la6uɐ mous

          It’s not too hard to conceive.

        2. neeks

          Icwutudidthere

        3. la6ue mous snow angel

          they just humped like bunnies in the back row
          LOVE CONQUERS ALL
          http://www.pbfcomics.com/77/
          Also, holy shit–PBF’s had a lot of comics since the new year. Time to catch up.

      2. Tacos

        It’s over 20 years old? Man, now I feel old >.>

      3. brionl

        20 years old. I’ve got t-shirts older than that. :b

      4. Opus the Poet

        What is really scary is I took my elementary school kids to see “Lion King” and now I have a grandkid.

      5. Kang the Unbalanced

        Heh.
        In the prehistoric year of 1997, the special edition of Star Wars had just come out. I was in a training class made up mostly of us “old farts” in our late twenties and we were talking about how exciting it was to see Star Wars on the big screen again after twenty years, and reminiscing about seeing it when it first came out. Then our lone Junior Achiever, all of eighteen years old, chimes in with, “Yeah, I remember where I was when Star Wars first came out.” The entire class just stared at him incredulous. Then he sheepishly said, “Um… on VHS, I mean.”

    2. Rocketboy1313

      Their parents presumably bought the movie to watch, and then they watched it because they had the movie.

    3. MindLink

      Yeah… play it again, Sam…, ’cause I don’t think we’re in Kansas anymore so frankly I don’t give a damn if we are to be or not. Fortunately it’s not like you are forced to consume only the media produced during your own lifetime.

      1. Rycan

        That’s a movie reference overload right there. I’m afraid you may have crashed your computer.

  37. AgentKeen

    I know it’s not what she means, but it was hard not to take what Joyce says in the 4th panel as a straight/gay segregation thing.

    1. Huttj

      It’s definitely can be one of those “what you thought you were saying is not what came out of your mouth” moments.

  38. Kenny the toliet king!

    Called it last night!

    1. Rycan

      You a plumber, Kenny?

  39. Stephen Bierce

    Before Harry And The Hendersons there was The Six Million Dollar Man and the Sasquatch.
    I don’t know where I’m going with this. It’s Sunday.

    1. Hob

      You must have the Venture Brothers on your mind.

  40. Gareth

    Say what you I totally want to see John Lithgow play Joyce in the live action DOA now.

    1. saltchocolate

      I did not know I wanted that until you said it.

  41. Just Me

    Seems like Ethan went from heartbroken to pissed off in just a few panels. Don’t blame him. Joyce is no diplomat.

    1. Carriethedragon

      I feel like it’s really more of a “are you kidding me” kind of expression than actual anger.

    2. dailybrad

      I don’t think he’s mad, more just incredulous.

      1. Rycan

        That would be eyebrows up. His face looks quite cross to me.

    3. Tacos

      He doesn’t seem mad. More like just incredulous that Joyce quoted an old movie.

  42. KingMabel

    Fuck you, I started to cry

  43. Isaac Rader

    …Much as it’s not hard to see this as insensitive for saying ‘be with your own kind’, seriously, Ethan. Pretending to be straight just ends in depression and suicide. Go find a gay man and have sex. Seriously.

  44. Bagge

    Now I’m kinda curious to exactly where Joyce think Ethan’s “own kind” hang out and what they do. Probably some sort of Pride caricature again.

    Anyway – as breakups go this was about as 18-year-old as can be expected, but it hit all the right notes. She told him the reason, explained what had been wrong with the relationship from the beginning, didn’t make up anything and was suitably melodramatic. Good on you, Joyce. Yet again doing the right thing even if it’s hard.

    And Ethan – boho the girl you duped into living your lie doesn’t want to any longer. Guess it wasn’t only your choice after all.

    1. Regalli

      I imagine she would think of it like the forest grove in that episode of Pokemon where Ash tried to make Pikachu go be with all those other Pikachu. Or she would, if she were allowed to watch Pokemon as a child. I’m pretty certain she wasn’t.

      1. Rycan

        There’s evolution all over the place in Pokemon. That evolution is all complete nonsense, but it bears that damned name.

        1. Regalli

          Exactly. Which is a shame because we know she’d find Pikachu adorable.

        2. Rycan

          If it weren’t for copyright issues, I could see her getting introduced, and going full-on cosplay.

        3. Loki

          Someone needs to draw this!

        4. StClair

          Like Chiyo-chan, in the suit…
          O.O

      2. Bagge

        Now I kinda wish I had. That sounds interesting.

        1. Regalli

          It has an awkward sidebar thing on it, but you can watch it here. (I believe it’s also on Netflix, if you have that)

          The relevant part is right here, featuring Pikachanting and The Song of Sadness.

        2. Regalli

          https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ke81c6sm4Ps
          Oh wait this has a better version of The Song. (Seriously the rest of the episode is generally forgettable BUT EVERYONE REMEMBERS THAT DAMN SONG AND HOW IT MADE US ALL CRY OUR EYES OUT. IT’S NOT EVEN THAT GOOD A SONG. AND YET.)

        3. Kang the Unbalanced

          I prefer
          Batman singing the Jigglypuff song.

  45. dailybrad

    Joyce did the right thing. Both of them were using each other, which isn’t really healthy even while mutual.

  46. Urukak

    Making a first foray into the comments to point this out: Despite her… questionable word choice in panel 4, Joyce managed to get her point across without outing Ethan to everyone within earshot. Props to her for still having the presence of mind to do that considering the emotional state she’s in.

    1. Kateastrophe

      That is a really good point. I wonder if it was intentional. I hope it was – our girl’s come a long way.

  47. Plasma Mongoose

    Wow Joyce, it’s like you’re unintentionally challenging the Almost Politically Correct Redneck meme.

    1. newllend(henryvolt)

      Lady blizzard From One Punch Man, Fucking awesome Manga

      1. Plasma Mongoose

        Yes it is, I only wish it would update more often.

  48. TheTJ

    Harry and the Hendersons were mentioned in the comments yesterday. This is another one of those moments when I wonder whether Willis will occasionally tweak some dialogue last minute based on comments…

    … Or if his audience just shares a similar sense of humor.

    1. Crazy Dina

      Both are plausible.

    2. Rycan

      I think the standard assumption with webcomics is “no”. Only exceptions I’ve seen are when the author deliberately asks for input.

    3. Nightsbridge

      I went on patreon recently and got the early strip, and I can say that no, this comic did not change. Doctor_Who was just that spot on.

      1. John

        Quit using your TARDIS to bring us spoilers from the future, Doc.

        1. Crazy Dina

          Least he ain’t using Pateron.

        2. No Name

          Silly Dina, that’s not how you use a Zamboni.

        3. John

          That’s still almost five years away!

        4. Crazy Dina

          ??? I thought zambonies were primarily used in ice rinks!

      2. Kang the Unbalanced

        Well he does have a TARDIS. And that timey-wimey-webcomicky thing.

    4. Random832

      And of course, the mention yesterday came from someone who thought it was from Old Yeller – i.e. someone who had not seen either movie, but had absorbed the scene anyway somehow (probably from some parody of it – I think Family Guy did one a few years ago). Honestly it’s kind of surprising that Joyce and Ethan both know the movie.

  49. Regalli

    I close my eyes,
    And I can see
    The day we met…
    Just one moment and I knew,
    You’re my best friend
    Do anything-
    For you~

  50. Chronos

    A+ for effort, Joyce.

    B- for execution, though.

  51. Joya

    Who ever mentioned Harry and the Hendersons you were just a post early haha

  52. advancecasette

    at least compliment ethan on his kind of nice shirt first

    1. JessWitt

      Mm, it could be tighter – or just not there at all.

  53. Tribbly

    Obviously when Joyce says “your own kind” she really means “transformers fans”.

    1. Rycan

      Ahh. Should release him into the wild – at the next Botcon

      1. Tacos

        Well there is the 2015 Toy Fair going on right now. Ethan would probably be pretty damn happy just from the Ultra Magnus toy and Devastator combiner they showcased there. I know I am.

        1. Rycan

          I can see a truck pulling up inside the convention center (or wherever the event is), the cage in the back being opened, and Ethan being pelted by bean bag guns after he leaves his cage.

  54. Idon'tcarenomore

    These scripts are written quite far in advance he has said.

    But I love the comment from Chronos is perfect: A+ for effort Joyce. But, I would give the execution a D- myself.

    Joyce is trying so hard, and being so very Joyce here.

    1. Tribbly

      I think her score would be higher, since she’s doing exceptionally well for someone graded on the curve of “Fundamentalists Who Never Met A Semi-Open Gay Person Before Several Weeks Ago”.

      1. Crazy Dina

        How about “Fundamentalists Who Never Met Anyone Outside The Church Template Before Several Weeks Ago”

  55. Questionor

    Who else clicked the Harry and the Hendersons tag link to check if any other strips had that tag?

  56. JMAR89

    All I could think about while reading this was the New Girl where Schmidt breaks up with Cece. http://youtu.be/VLBM8bEcnYc

  57. Ryan

    Joyce is only the second person to overreact to Becky’s coming out.

  58. The Thing

    Willis, do you mind if I just hug you for about ten seconds for referencing Harry and the Hendersons?

    Please?

    It’s important to me.

    1. Rycan

      Getting a hug from The Thing sounds… painful.

      1. The Thing

        I find that to be thing-phobic.

        1. Crazy Dina

          You know, it actually kinda is. It definitely shows fear of certain types of “normal” contact with The Thing. Although to be fair, it is justified – does The Thing know his new strength yet?

        2. insomniac

          Are we talking Ben Grimm or antarctic body horror?

        3. Crazy Dina

          … I know neither of those refs.

        4. The Thing

          Ben Grimm:

          https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=27dZ5mJBnBY

          The Thing:

          https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5ftmr17M-a4

        5. Huttj

          Ben Grimm is The Thing of the Fantastic 4 superheroes. Big, orange, rocky, and strong (I recall one comic with him playing football with a college team, trudging along with the entire opposing team hanging off him). He had some adjustment to do when he gained his powers, and was in the “at least you guys can pass for normal” camp at times.

          The Thing is an older horror movie classic. Involves a group of people in Antarctica who realize there’s a shapshifting alien monster among them, killing them, and none of them knows who or what it is. Wonderfully horriffic monster designs, and has things like jaws opening up in a cadaver’s belly for body horror stuff. You don’t want a hug from it.

        6. Crazy Dina

          No No, I know of The Thing, but .. wait, there’s one outside the fantastic four? Wierd…
          OH! Now I see what she’s talking about. Sorry, I know no names, so that did not register.

        7. Opus the Poet

          James Arness starred in the 1951 original. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=T5xcVxkTZzM

    2. DuckDuckMoose

      Well, the average non-awkward hug lasts about three seconds (an actual stat, though I can’t remember the source), and then there’s your rocky physiology, so… maybe he can bargain you down to five or six?

  59. John

    Hmm. Joyce was a day off making cheesy movie references in both universes simultaneously.

    Also, someone really needs to tell the girl that it’s possible to be friends with a guy that you’re not planning on marrying.

    1. John

      Actually, come to think of it, she’s making a cheesy movie reference in today’s IW! rerun, too. It’s just a different kind of cheese.

      1. The Thing

        Man, Willis has come a long way with his art.

  60. Emoroffle

    I’m sure Ethan could give Harry a run for his money in the body hair department if he tried.

  61. OnyxIdol

    Oh man, that last panel had me lol 😀

  62. FuryOfFirestorm

    *cries*

    Breaking up with your beard is the most devastating breakup ever.

    I mean, Tom Cruise still hasn’t gotten over losing Katie Holmes, and her sacred womb destined to bear the vessel for the reincarnation of L. Ron Hubbard’s spirit.

    1. neeks

      Yes, for many facial-hair-ly tables people, Devastated December follows No Shave November

  63. Keroshino

    Alright, put one on the board for Willis, for the first one to make a “Harry and the Hendersons” reference…

    Reset the clock! It has been zero days since the H&TH reference!

  64. deathjavu

    Who do we give credit to for this kind of courage in simultaneously shaking off decades of religious belief for not just an oldest friend but a new friend, one who doubles as a fantasy crush/bodyguard against Ryan-ists? Dorothy, as the roadmap for accepting a new friend at any cost? Sal, as the subject of awe who’s actually encouraging/friendly? Amazi-Girl, for promising to keep hunting Joyce’s attacker? Sarah, for actually doing it?

    Ultimately the answer is Joyce, for actually believing her beliefs and applying them consistently. Her horrible religious beliefs can’t contain her intelligence or the fact that she cares.

    1. Crazy Dina

      There’s a reason why my history teacher liked the Quakers so much. They said what they believed, believed what they said, and held themselves to that standard. (So I’ve heard. I’m not actually involved, and the lessons on them were short, but that’s the general impression I got)

      1. heroesofcrash

        Yay for us! 😀 (I’m a Quaker)

        1. Rabid Rabbit

          On the other hand, you did eventually produce Richard Nixon. But we forgive you.

        2. Crazy Dina

          Especially since you offered refuge to a group of persecuted (I think they were native Americans, but it’s been a while since the lesson), even though they never did get there. 🙁

        3. Smiling Cat

          Natives, fugitive slaves, and so forth.

        4. heroesofcrash

          Yeah… Nixon’s not our poster boy. But we did get the Cadbury Eggs guy. And Dave Matthews of Dave Matthews band. And Larry, the guy on the Quaker Oats box. No kidding; his name really is Larry. Look it up.

        5. Crazy Dina

          … I find that out AFTER we Americans kick out the Cadbury Eggs?

          … we suck. 🙁

        6. Smiling Cat

          I hate the guy on the quaker oats box. Everybody who hears I’m quaker thinks of him and wonders why I’m allowed to use a computer or a cell phone or what have you. I actually jokingly sent an email to the quaker oat company’s public relations department and asked if they’d give him a cell phone or something.

        7. No Name

          Yeah, from what little I know about the Society of Friends, they’re not Amish, just pacifist.

        8. Smiling Cat

          Technically, the Society of Friends specifically avoided establishing any absolute doctrines. As I learned it, that sort of thing is ultimately between you and God. Certain doctrines took greater hold than others, however, such as the nonviolent thing. This also means that there is a considerable variety of what constitutes a “quaker”. You can find both Fundamentalist and self identified non-religious quakers, even quaker Buddhists.

          Basic respect for others is a big thing, though.

        9. No Name

          Thank you, Smiling Cat. That was informative. You guys are even more awesome than I thought.

        10. heroesofcrash

          Hoo boy… my girlfriend’s brother-in-law keeps jokingly referring to me as Amish. 😛 Yes, Quakers and Amish are both famous for being in Pennsylvania, and have both worn black hats, but we’re different religions, folks!

          I’ve also had a guy act surprised that I was Quaker and said, “I thought they were extinct.”

        11. Rabid Rabbit

          On the other hand, the Quaker side of things does explain why Nixon was such a painfully bad liar.

        12. Smiling Cat

          Woot woot!

    2. deathjavu

      Oh, and dealing with intense emotional situations via movie quotes, we can blame that kind of influence on Walky.

      Today’s strip plus rediscovering pushed Joyce to a surprise third for me, above perennial favorite Sarah, leaving Sal down to a distant 5th.

  65. chris73

    As someone who thought Roz was on the money I have to say well done Joyce for this, its the right thing to do

  66. Skizz

    Now that was literally laugh out loud funny.

  67. Paradoxius

    Why is everyone saying this is sad? It’s so cathartic! It’s like popping a big pustule and letting all of that toxicity that had been irritating you just drain out into a waiting kleenex. It’s ucky now, but the after is going to be so much better than the before!

    1. Rycan

      Thanks for the visual

  68. Khrene

    Gosh darnit Willis you had me on the verge of tears! And then you dun gone an screwed it up with a dose a’ comedy!

  69. Beachfox

    *cackles like a hyena* Oh god, if ever there was a way to break drama tension…

  70. NinjaZaku

    She was doing ok right up until the Harry quote. Even Ethan was buying it.

    The point is she’s trying, despite Roz’s best efforts to toss her into a pit of self loathing.

  71. Björn

    “You are beautiful, Ethan. It’s the WORLD that’s ugly.”

  72. Spencer

    Was this dialogue chosen deliberately for that “own kind” part? I’m glad Joyce has realized how messed up their relationship is, and is expressing it in a typically dorky Joyce fashion, but panel is just… eh.

  73. Spencer

    So amidst her obscure movie references, I think the most important thing to take for this strip is that Joyce has outright declared that she thinks Ethan’s and Becky’s sexuality is beautiful. Not something to be smothered or ignored, not “don’t worry, maybe it’s not a sin after all!” she flat out tells him that he’s wonderful and that what they’ve been doing is deeply unfair to him. Go Joyce.

    1. John

      “We are beautiful. It’s the world that’s ugly.”

      1. TSB

        It’s still “you’re beautiful” for now, not quite to “we” yet. But I think she’s getting there. Go Joyce!

      2. Consensus

        Yes.

        Yessss!

  74. someone

    Get back, get back, where you belong
    Get on, get on, get on the bomb

  75. Tenn

    “His name is Ethan, and he’s going back to the gay village right now!”

    1. Usayasha

      “To live with all of the village people!”

  76. DarkoNeko

    Hey, Joyce, friends can hug too, you know.

  77. T Campbell

    Joyce’s descent into the depths of pop-culture references steals attention away from one of her most beautiful lines of dialogue ever: “You have to leave me.” Not “We’re not right for each other,” not “I can’t give you what you need,” and certainly not “I’m dumping you, loser.”

    In the mouth of a more sophisticated character, those words would sound insincere, even manipulative, but from Joyce they express exactly how she feels, that there is nothing wrong with Ethan, that HE is the one who must move on, however much Joyce would like to use him as a security blanket.

    Shame Leslie can’t see this drama unfolding. She sure can’t take all the credit for Joyce’s development, but four weeks of her class must have played a part even beyond what we saw on-panel, and she could use that reassurance right now.

    1. Rabid Rabbit

      Also, “It’s mine too”, which I suspect Ethan needed to hear. Just as it was his decision not to lie to Amber (in the hotel room after prom), and Amber’s to stay and support him.

    2. Lone Wolf

      Thank you; I saw the, “You have to leave me,” line last night, and wanted to comment on why I liked her phrasing it that way, but couldn’t figure out the proper words for it.

    3. Consensus

      I am plussing this for all I’m worth. Upvoted. Thumbs up, likes given all of that!

  78. Ilia

    Is it horrible that I nearly laughed my ass off at Ethan’s expression in the last panel?

  79. Chris

    Well, hey, even if he’s gay, she could be his exception.
    That’s how Robin and Leslie worked, isn’t it?

    1. Spencer

      Robin was bisexual the whole time. It just took her a while to admit it.

      1. Nono

        Robin’s straight, with an exception.

        1. Spencer

          When Leslie asked her if she ever had any girl crushes, Robin started thinking about Amber. I don’t think “straight with an exception” is an actual thing.

        2. brumagem

          That’s not really for you to decide. If someone says that’s how they identify it’s not your job to say “hey that doesn’t sound right, could you instead tick off one of these boxes I’ve written for you”.

          Personally, I think having a few exceptions is perfectly natural. I identify as gay, but there have been exactly two women who have caught my interest: Sofia Vergara, and this one chick in college who literally had the best ass ever.

        3. Jason

          “Heteroflexible” is my personal sexuality identity. So yeah, a thing. Whether or not it’s how Robin identifies (or would if she knew the term) is a question only she can answer via Willis.

        4. timemonkey

          Robin defined herself as that for a while because she wasn’t comfortable admitting having attractions to other ladies.

      2. TSB

        Robin identifies as “generally kinda undefinably queer”.

    2. Bagge

      More to the point, there is no indication whatsoever that Ethan is sexually attracted to Joyce. The fact that he isn’t was an important part of their relationship (she feeling safe with him)

  80. cj95

    Sooooo….Ethan doesn’t get a choice in this?

    1. Arianod

      If someone wants to break up with you, what’s your choice in it? 🙁 What’s Ethan supposed to do, tie her to the bed so she doesn’t leave him?

    2. Bagge

      Um, no? I takes two* to stay in a relationship and only one to break it. He may or may not agree with her reasons but he has no say whatsoever in her decision to not stay in a relationship with him.

      *) at least

  81. Carlz

    No not was from The Yearling about a boy and his pet deer

    1. Carlz

      No it was*

    2. Jen

      Umm, but if I recall correctly, the boy had to kill the deer at the end of that…O_o

  82. Tomas

    “Are you White Fanging me?”

    1. Carlz

      Of course not he’s not a “woof”

    2. LiveWire

      That was my first thought, too.

  83. DuckDuckMoose

    Heartbreaking as it is, I love everything about this: Joyce’s complete commitment to doing the right thing, Ethan’s utter confusion (this is coming right out of nowhere as far as he knows, after all), and the left turn into adorableness and clumsy pop culture refs. (Clumsy on Joyce’s part, not Willis’s.) The “back to your own kind” bit is wince-worthy, sure, but she wouldn’t be Joyce if she didn’t still have her awkward, oblivious moments. She is, in general, doing a painful thing wonderfully well.

  84. Yotsuyasan

    All I could think while reading this was… Wow, Joyce seems kind of final with her dismissal of Ethan here. Um, Joyce, you know you can still be friends, right?

    1. Bagge

      Unfortunately most of their interaction has been based on their lie of a relationship. I hope they can discover each other again as friends and watch cartoons together, but I think a break and a clean start would be the best way to do that.

  85. Charles Phipps

    I fully believe Joyce never expects to see Ethan again.

    1. Rycan

      Same. I had suspected that the concept of “just friends” would be foreign to her.

  86. Smiling Cat

    “belong with your own kind” is pretty iffy, but good effort regardless.

  87. zmm

    Ethan looks so angry at the Harry and the henderson’s reference..
    That movie wasn’t that bad..

    Though that was not the best reference at all.. “your own kind”
    I don’t think she meant it that way though.

  88. Varius

    Where are Joyce’s books?

    1. No Name

      On Ethan’s toes. Joyce dropped them yesterday.

  89. brumagem

    There was no other direction this could go. Damn you, Willis, for making me laugh in such a tense scene. *slow clap*

  90. GoogerGeiger

    I know this is a reference to a movie I’ve never seen, but saying “your own kind” is still pretty insensitive.

    1. Charles Phipps

      Yes, she’s sending him to be with other gay sasquatch.

    2. Bill

      As I see it, Joyce is telling Ethan that she can accept him as a gay person, but that he needs to stand over there with the rest of the gay people and not mix or have contact with her.  Which to me looks like Joyce, in her own mixed-up way, is pushing Ethan back into a sort of closet.

      1. dreadedseamonster

        Really? it sounded to me like she was saying he should date dudes instead of her.

        1. No Name

          I’m pretty sure that as far as Joyce is concerned, that’s to-may-to, to-mah-to. Not for long, I hope, because it’s wrong with a wrongness that is wrong.

    3. Bill

      At least she’s not making him wear a pink triangle or a yellow star.

    4. Smiling Cat

      I’m pretty certain that was the best her stressed mind could come up with on such short notice.

  91. Bilal Kalyal

    And Dorothy and Walkerton are simply staring, thinking,
    “……..The f*** was that?!”

    1. Rycan

      They’ll probably be on-scene tomorrow.

      1. Bilal Kalyal

        I’ll hold you to that.

        1. Rycan

          Well, they weren’t. What’cha gonna do?

  92. DoggySpew

    No-one posted a clip? Well, then this has to do.
    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1d8oqIXtjdo

    (Joyce is obviously paraphrasing. And she forgot to punch Ethan)

  93. Charles Phipps

    Joyce had to do this, otherwise Mary would have killed Ethan and shown him as a trophy to the other Bigfoot-hunters out there.

    1. neeks

      Thank you for this comment. Have an internet. 😀

  94. Mo

    Do kids who were born in 1996 even know what that movie IS? This is stretching my suspension of disbelief a little too thin.

    1. timemonkey

      You can know any movie from any period. Depends on your interests and what your parents want to watch when you’re growing up.

    2. Spencer

      I’m 22 and my favourite movie of all time, The Good The Bad and the Ugly, was made in 1966. It’s conceivable that the Browns had a DVD of it stashed away.

    3. neeks

      I can imagine her family watching it on Family Movie Night, or maybe it aired during prime time or something

    4. Jen

      She probably had a very limited amount of movies that were on her family’s and/or church community’s approved list.

  95. Trolldrool

    I am not looking forward to Ethan’s next phonecall with his mom.

    1. brumagem

      “Ethan honey, it’s good to hear from you. Did you fuck that girl’s brains out yet?”

      1. Jason

        “No ma, she taught me that I don’t need to hide who I am and that there’s nothing wrong with me. Also, fuck you. I’m going to go and drool over my hunky roommate now.” *Click, dial tone.*

        If you thought THAT might happen I suspect you’d look forward to it.

        1. Trolldrool

          That would be awesome. Unfortunately, I’ve learned not to have high expectations, so it’s likely to be something heartbreakingly abhorrent like “Are you disappointing me on purpose?” or some other thing to make Naomi Blaine’s rival for worst parent in the comic.

        2. Rycan

          Can Ethan literally afford to burn bridges? Who’s paying tuition?

  96. Robert

    Yes. That quote was from Harry and the Hendersons. Because seeing a gay person on a college campus is about as rare as Sasquatch.

  97. Superdud

    So… isn’t Joyce kinda making the same mistake as Roz here? Deciding for gay people how to deal with their sexuality/how their struggle for equality is to be fought? (Well, it’s only the first part that’s the same I guess.)

    If Joyce doesn’t feel comfortable playing Ethan’s faux-girlfriend anymore, that’s totally fair, but it’s up to Ethan if he wants to be public about his true sexuality or if he wants to hide it.

    1. Bagge

      Well… kinda, not really. It depends on exactly how you interpret what she’s saying. What I really hear her saying is that she extracts herself from the situation. “I don’t want to enable your lie anymore.”

      She doesn’t tell Ethan what he SHOULD do – only what he shouldn’t (unless you take that cheezy movie quote as her literary telling him to go where gay people roam). And even if you think that’s out of line she still doesn’t make any decisions for Ethan, she only tells him why she thinks his behaviour is wrong (something she most certainly has earned the right too after having been his beard for a few weeks).

    2. chris73

      I’m cutting Joyce some slack that while the words she used may not sound right the intention is honourable in that she and Ethan arn’t right together and that he should at least try to find someone that will make him happy in all ways

  98. Bir

    Great H&H reference.

  99. Consensus

    “We are beautiful, it’s the world that’s ugly”

    Powerful echo. Powerful echo.

  100. MortartarSaws

    Joyce: “Go on, now… GIT!
    *Half-heartedly throws nearby pine cones and sticks at Ethan in tears*

  101. Onion

    The best quotes are the most fitting at the worst times

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