134

Nudge
Posted on February 11, 2025 by David M Willis
goddamn hammered dulcimer

134 thoughts on “Nudge”

  1. Ana Chronistic

    my frustration when a certain orange turnip keeps popping into mind every time I kiss my spouse

    1. Stephen Bierce

      Turnip for what?

      1. True Survivor

        That is a deep cut, but appropriate for a song featuring not A rapper, but B. rapa.

        1. Mel

          These are extremely funny but would someone tell me what orange turnip this is about?

        2. Uly

          I’m going to assume you’re sincere here.

          Orange = too much tanner

          Turnip = humorous misspelling of trump

        3. Mel

          I was completely sincere, I thought contextually it might be some Christian kid show character from the USA

        4. Thomas

          Ronald Rutabaga from
          Veggie Tales, obviously. I heard he’s a rude vegetable! D:

        5. Stu

          I thought it was A Minor?

    2. Thomas

      More like orange turn-off, am I right? :p

    3. Queen Anthai

      This raises so many questions

    4. Steamweed

      That’s a helluva bad invasive mind parasite you’ve got there. I recommend blueskying, illicit activitying, and signal-apping.

      1. Ana Chronistic

        Sadly, first thing on Bsky is a joke about him

  2. Doctor_Who

    Hey, you could probably make decent porno music with a hammered dulcimer. See if he takes requests.

    1. Shakes

      You will need: One ouija board.

      1. Dragonfire

        I… guess you could use the planchette as a hammer.

    2. Reltzik

      … wouldn’t porno music by definition be indecent?

      1. Clif

        Only if it’s any good. Something which cannot be assumed.

  3. Nono

    Plot twist: Rich Mullins is Joe’s sex music.

    1. Grimey

      I am so ready for that.

    2. mindbleach

      It’d explain that time with Liz.

    3. Thomas

      “Sometimes the morning CAME TOO SOON.
      Sometimes the day would be SO HARD.”

      Definitely »someone’s« sex music! I’d bet it’ll become this for Joyce.

      1. Thomas

        “Sometimes it seemed to throb SO CLOSE. You could touch it but your heart would break. […] There was so much work left to do. But so much you had already done.”

        Honestly the whole lyrics are full of win.

    4. DJTsurugi

      wasn’t the joke in there somewhere that Becky actually gets turned on by it? ~<3

      1. thejeff

        I remember that joke, but I think it was some other Christian singer.

        1. Owlmirror

          Rebecca St. James
          https://www.dumbingofage.com/goandsinnomore/
          see also: /condemn/

  4. Sirksome

    It’s been awhile, Rich. Kinda forgot why you’re even here honestly.

    1. Schpoonman

      He was a pretty good musician.

      1. Thomas

        One of the few Christian musicians from Willis’ upbringing that’s remotely salvageable due to speaking up for gay people, possibly coming to terms with not being straight himself and sadly having died in a car accident, which prevents him from saying awful things in the present or future. He lived rough, drank, swore and had a scruffy presentation. His songs are about pain and suffering …and that’s only his »best« side, the face that he dared to present to the world. A tormented soul. Or so I gathered.

        Also, he lived on a Navajo reservation and considered converting to Catholicism shortly before the accident.

  5. DailyBrad

    With any luck, his business jabbing at her will distract her from the tunes.

  6. NGPZ

    You got THE TOUCH

    You got THE POWEEER!!!

    YEAAAAH!!!

  7. Pinkie

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0OGPso1rbx0 Just leaving an appropriate earworm here….

  8. ian livs

    Tfw you’re doing sexytimes as a whole adult atheist and then church hymns pop into your head from years ago (I-I mean. can’t relate at alllll…)

    1. Steamweed

      ‘Swhy we wanna indoctrinate our kids. That shit’ll stay with ya for life.

    2. VicMortimer

      I really can’t relate. I’ve always been an atheist, but was occasionally dragged to a church as a child. The music mostly annoyed me, I can’t imagine it getting in my head during sexytimes.

    3. S.R.

      Oh, believe me, it’s not restricted to anything churchly. Sometimes I have to stop writing my, uhh, totally wholesome family friendly stories with 100% no dicks in them, because my brain has decided that today my internal soundtrack is stuff from kid’s TV shows. Not for any reason I can track down, just. whoops. guess that’s the song in our head now.

      1. Taffy

        Life is like a hurricane
        Here in
        Fuckburg

  9. Charles Phipps

    I maintain that Joyce is actually being visited by Rich Mullins the Angel.

    Just like I believe Mike’s actual ghost is visiting Amber.

    1. Kimi

      Or his ghost is just haunting whoever knows his tunes because he can’t forget that time he made a wrong note at an important event. (Or whatever other thing he would have a hard time letting go of that fits him. My Christian childhood music references were more Peder Eide, Amy Grant or Point of Grace. (My childhood music was a weird mix of classic rock, Christian music, classical/symphonic band music and soundtracks, both games and movies. My grandparents used to take us to the Montana Summer Symphony concerts when we visited them.)

    2. S.R.

      He oughta go away for a bit if that’s the case. Not a good time, dude.

  10. Animedingo

    Sucular deez nuts

    1. True Survivor

      I laughed far harder than I should have at that. Thank you for the smile.

  11. Francoinblanco

    touching without consent?!
    Could it be that you are free at last?
    NO!!!!!!!!
    Little boy, you’re goin’ to Hell

    1. Aus

      You said bad words, threw rocks at the birds, now this is your hotel / You ain’t goin back, this ain’t Disneyland, it’s hell

  12. HueSatLight

    Ever see those Family Circus strips with the ghosts of their grandparents watching the kids approvingly?

    1. John Campbell

      For extra creepy: Bil and Thelma are ghosts, too.

    2. Needfuldoer

      Why don’t the ghostparents ever do anything about Ida Know and Not Me?

      1. Steamweed

        Those aren’t ghosts (since they were never alive). They’re imaginary siblings (like imaginary friends, but sibs instead). Entirely different justice system.

        1. elebenty

          True, though I had to tell my son he was responsible for anything his imaginary friend (Struck-by-Wild) did at our house, “just like any other friend.”

          I’m from a railroad family, so it raised the hairs on my neck when I finally searched that ”name’ online a decade later. At the time (2003?) many of the results were railroad injuries where someone was “struck by wild car.”

          Now the search results are more about wild pitches and wild animals.

        2. Steamweed

          Kids can say some really creepy or spooky stuff at times.

  13. Joe Moose

    Why must he ruin the mood!?

    1. NGPZ

      Ruin? It seems Becky begs to differ XD

      https://www.dumbingofage.com/2022/comic/book-12/03-trial-and-sarah/condemn/

      1. Icarus

        That’s Rebecca St. James.

        1. thejeff

          There’s another strip somewhere that talks more explicitly about that.

    2. BorkBorkBork

      I dunno. It kinda looks to me like Rich wants to climb on in, get his thigh in on the action.

      1. Steamweed

        While I think Joyce is open to a threesome, I think it ain’t Rich she’d invite.

        1. Pinkie

          Probably Dorothy. Maybe Jennifer.

        2. Steamweed

          Definitely Dorothy. 😀

  14. Leorale

    Joyce just wants her dulcimer hammered, is that so wrong?

  15. BBCC

    Sorry, Joyce, that stuff is catnip to your ex-fundie brain.

  16. Shakes

    Well it wasn’t the knee to the balls I was expecting.

    Maybe those fruits were just too low hanging.

    1. Steamweed

      Still time for that!

  17. cbwroses

    Never listened to any of his music despite him being repeatedly referenced, until now.
    But damn if this isn’t catchy.
    Even just ignoring the lyrics and focusing on the instrumental.

    1. Taffy

      That’s how they trap ya. Get ya thinkin’ it’s God you’re feelin’, when it’s really just I–IV–V–I in a major key.

  18. IntangibleMatter

    Joyce all you need to do is to somehow associate Rich Mullins’ music with sexy business times and this will stop being an issue.

    1. Yumi

      Eventually, Sarah will hear Rich Mullins’ music from their room and just go, “Dammit, Joyce is fucking again.”

      (Dammit because she needed to get something from the room, and in this imagined scenario, the fucking is bad timing for her.)

      1. Steamweed

        If Joyce is exulting, Sarah is sulking.

    2. Amós Batista

      It will be a hard quest.

  19. Dev

    Didn’t she already give him a handjob before this?

    1. GT

      Yes.

    2. apricot

      Yeah, but there’s something about early relationships and the familiarity of being this open with a partner in bed, and the idea that you can maybe even control the narrative a little. Total thrill at this age, I remember having nearly this same experience (without the fundie music, though)

    3. Queen Anthai

      Yeah but her thigh on his junk is a lot closer to her vagina on it. She’s working her way up to it.

      1. Steamweed

        It’s just basic topology.

    4. Amós Batista

      Yeah, right? Like, if she’s still afraid of sin, she’s already did it, didn’t she?

      1. S.R.

        Different act, and closer to, for lack of a better phrase, “actual” sex.
        (also, having done one thing your upbringing claims is bad doesn’t mean you suddenly stop believing that the thing is bad, or that all further instances of the thing are lumped in with this one time.)

  20. BadRoad

    what else would you do with a dulcimer?

    1. Proxiehunter

      Pluck it.

      1. Proxiehunter

        Even if you barely know it.

        1. Needfuldoer

          Don’t you have to buy it dinner first?

        2. Steamweed

          Breakfast. The BDSM (bass dulcimer saxophone melodica) community does meals afterward. Shows your aftercare skills.

        3. Taffy

          See, people say all instruments are basically the same, but if you paid for a string instrument’s meal after a session, they’d be horribly offended. I tried covering the bill at lunch, and my guitar almost broke up with me. I couldn’t hear anything but G# for the rest of the day.

        4. Steamweed

          Ahh. Those Les Paul acoustics, amirite?

        5. Taffy

          I wouldn’t know, they’re a little hoity-toity for my price range. Kramers are temperamental, but they’re always down for a cheap date on a Tuesday afternoon.

  21. Warmth

    You are on your way to converting me into religion Mr. Willis

  22. Ray

    I think Joyce is seeking something different in the morning….

    1. croi

      I dunno…Joy In The Morning seems pretty plausible to me.

      1. Mark

        Was not expecting a Wodehouse reference here.

      2. Steamweed

        Joyce In The Morning

      3. Ray

        *not to be confused with “Afternoon Delight” by Starland Vocal Band on hacked muzak*

  23. Rabid Rabbit

    Looking at the YouTube preview image there — damn, but that was one terrifying-looking hobbit.

  24. AbacusWizard

    as a hammer dulcimer player I feel I ought to say hashtag not all hammer dulcimer players

    1. Clif

      I wonder how many take it up to learn to play all the Rich Mullins songs.

      1. AbacusWizard

        No idea. I’m just here for the Irish and English folk dance tunes.

  25. StClair

    I’m trying to remember any specific HD music and coming up blank. But I tend to associate the instrument with folksy renfaire-type stuff.

    1. Clif

      Not all hammered dulcimer is the same.

      1. Clif

        For example https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_xBHfoViqw0

      2. Alan in DC

        True – there’s a wonderful YouTube video of a guy who learned to play “Everybody Wants to Rule the World” by Tears for Fears. He got so good at it that two guys from the group came out to his house to perform it with him.

      3. Pinkie

        They used it in the LOTR soundtrack for Gollum.

    2. Nymph

      I also associate hammered dulcimer with ren faires.

  26. The Blueprint System

    The fact that Joyce said “hammered” dulcimer instead of hammer dulcimer just brings in a whole new set of connotations XD

  27. Uly

    Did her glasses fall off the bed? Damnit, I knew she ought to keep them in a case if she’s going to put them on the bed. This is how you first lose, and then break your glasses. It’s impossible to find your glasses when you’ve lost your glasses, so you’ll invariably end up stepping on them or getting them hopelessly tangled up in the sheets and either way they’ll end up bent out of shape.

    1. Opus the Poet

      It’s hard to find your glasses when you need your glasses to find your glasses. I lost my glasses when they got caught in my shirt when I was taking it off 2 years ago, and I haven’t seen them since.

    2. Taffy

      We have no evidence to support Joyce losing her glasses. We have scads of evidence pointing to her eating them.

      1. Nymph

        Joyce has eaten three pairs of glasses thus far and intends to continue until she has gained their power for herself. In this essay, I will…

        1. Bruno

          You’re laughing. The homeschool girl has pica and you’re laughing.

        2. Nymph

          I was writing an essay, not laughing. Pay attention.

  28. Opus the Poet

    It’s hard to completely break fundy programming.

  29. Taffy

    This is impressive and all, but it can’t compare to both thighs at the same time.

    1. Nymph

      Agreed. Try harder, Joyce.

  30. Freezer

    Like an acid flashback, fundamentalist indoctrination can hit you randomly.

  31. Farmer_10

    Day three of this riveting arc of Joyce struggling to knee-nudge a weener.

  32. HueSatLight

    I believe we were oversold on how much someone resembled Bill Murry circa What About Bob?

    1. David M Willis

      He does when he’s older!

  33. Daibhid C

    So, what have we learned from this story arc so far? We’ve learned that Joyce finds the hammered dulcimer captivating. And before that, we learned that Alice used to feel the same about the hammered Jennifer.

  34. Sharizard

    Am- am i the only one who sees Rich Mullins in that thought bubble with boobs while stretching his top out?

    1. Ornathe

      Well, now you’re not the only one.

  35. Alan in DC

    It coulda been worse, Joyce: you might have channeled Spike Jones and his City Slickers.

  36. Rolf of Many Doors

    Listen to some non-religious hammered dulcimer musical earworms

  37. Mr D

    Joe is gonna “jerk” awake any moment now, ain’t he?

  38. Steamweed

    Joyce wants _something_ hammered. Some train _in_ the station.

  39. Hof1991

    Joyce, just take matters into your own hands. You can move on from there.

    1. Steamweed

      She’s already done something along those lines. Now she wants to take matters into…elsewhere.

  40. Wendy

    She’s gotta Weird Al those tunes, imo

  41. Kyulen

    I’m kinda glad I haven’t listened to a lot of the music fundie Christians tend to like.

  42. Segnosaur

    Did Rich Mullins ever do a cover version of Celo Green’s “F.U.” that Joyce and Becky were singing to recently? Because that would be awesome.

    1. David M Willis

      no he died 13 years before that came out

      1. segnosaur

        What you are saying is time travel doesn’t exist?

        So much for my retirement plans.

  43. James Custer

    I love this strip and I always will, but the Joyce’s visualization of a hammered dulcimer makes me wonder if someone involved is having a stroke.

  44. Astariel

    A damsel with a dulcimer
    In a vision once I saw:
    It was an Abyssinian maid
    And on her dulcimer she played,
    Singing of Mount Abora.

  45. Amós Batista

    bottomless is my weakness

  46. Van Jealous

    “It’s his BIZNIS and I’ll THIGH if I want to, THIGH if I want to. You would THIGH, too, if it happened to YOU! (Apologies to L. Gore)

  47. GLaDOS

    Caught with an unseen hook and an invisible line, which is long enough to let her wander to the end of the world and still to bring her back with a mallet on the strings.

  48. Alan in DC

    Would you believe DoA is not mentioned anywhere on Rich Mullins’ wikipedia page? He’s gotten more mentions and a bigger boost here than most anywhere else in the 28 years since his demise.

    1. Amós Batista

      We can go there and edit his page.

      1. Clif

        You could, but that would probably count as original research, which is frowned upon in Wikipedia circles.

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