With additional recipes for slippery spam porpoise, big ‘ol balogna pony, spicey beef splattering ram, and, for the vegens out there, turgid tofu truncheon.
SillyGoose: Boobs. It’s pretty blatant. “Thou art a mighty tree, thy breasts like melons. And I thought, I shall climb this tree and grasp its melons” (paraphrasing from memory because I’m lazy).
Piotr W
See, the funny thing is, we didn’t get into these details 🙂 We’re simply taught the general notion that the book is a metaphor 🙂
Smiling Cat
It’s so much easier to use the bible to justify what a person wants if nobody actually reads it. 🙂
Nah, red solar radiation-infused lube. Quells Clark’s super-powers just long enough for lovin’, with no lethality or weird side-effects like making Supes become a yeti or something. (Red Kryptonite was the strangest Kryptonite.)
According to several versions of the superman canon, Supes’s invulnerability actually extends out slightly PAST his skin and can actually infuse objects he is in contact with for a certain amount of time, temporarily making them also invulnerable. This is the in-universe explanation for why his clothes aren’t constantly getting burned or blasted off, or for when a writer wants to have Superman do something like shield someone with his cape: the cape has been touching Superman long enough that the cape temporarily also has superpowers.
So basically, a regular condom would work.
Also, someone in close contact with supes for a while would also probably gain his super resilience for a bit, so if he goes slow and there’s lots of cuddling (which is probably a given, Clark seems like a cuddler) then there’s no problem.
… Yes I have thought too damn much about weird superhero physics as applied to intimacy.
Clif
Actually, Martha wove the cape out of the unraveled thread from the Kryptonian blanket Superman was wrapped in as a baby, thereby accounting for the cape’s special abilities. At least according to an issue I read in my youth.
Geez, not more “Man of Steel, Woman of Kleenex” crap. Given that Supes is a fictional character he can simply written as being safe for humans to have sex with.
There’s a school of thought which claims that the British accent of today is an affectation acquired over the years as the Engish unconsciously cultivated a manner of speaking that sounded more ‘posh’. On the other hand, Americans, isolated as we were from the ‘mother tongue’, never made that change with the end result that today’s American accent is actually truer to the British accent of Shakespeare’s day rather than what most people think of as the ‘classic’ British manner of speaking.
BBCC
Depends on the place. I heard that about either Virginia or New England accents (I don’t recall offhand which).
FireAtWilliam
This schol of thought is at best, a heavy exaggeration (when it’s not used explicitly as a means of increasing tourism to the Appalachians). Realistically, some areas are closer to 18th century British pronunciation, bu language and acccents are constantly changing and evolving
Dragonfire
This school of thought also makes the assumption that linguistic drift only happened on one side of the ocean, which is highly unlikely. American regional accents have more likely changed and grown in their own ways since the 17th century – just not in the exact same ways that British regional accents have changed and grown.
thejeff
The basic concept seems sound, though obviously blurred by the fact that there are multiple accents in both countries. The main theory is that the British started dropping their Rs at least in the main urban dialects, while most US dialects kept them.
317 thoughts on “Sirloin”
Ana Chronistic
I mean how can it be porn, clearly it’s about rump roast… and beef cake… and tube steak
QWANTZ!
Laladoria
Just a bunch of recipes, passed down for generations…
Arawn
Through the generations. Alternatively, passed down orally. There are some great oral traditions to be found if you’re only willing to receive.
MatsuoTanuki
Wow…
Batman
Clark likes his tube steak rare.
Batman
However what him and Mr. Wayne get up to is NONE of MY business.
Malisteen
With additional recipes for slippery spam porpoise, big ‘ol balogna pony, spicey beef splattering ram, and, for the vegens out there, turgid tofu truncheon.
AnvilPro
Joyce is book
Doctor_Who
Joyce right now.
butts
(f)art
Commodore Counterintuitive
class literature():shadowcell
putting the ass in class
and lots of things into the ass
Zach
“Have you read James Joyce’s love letters? The phrases “my little fuckbird” and “arse full of farts” appear.…”
https://xkcd.com/1414/
Dana
private class Literature implements Pornography {
…
}
Cheesy1
Juicy Literature.
saltchocolate
But not rare literature.
Dean
This literature is well done.
Yet Another Laura H.
A-1
Koms
Joycy literature
bobvankay
How could it be possibly be juicy if it’s served well done?
Christ, the sirloin will be all stiff and rubbery.
Michael
IfYouKnowWhatIMean.jpg
Ed Rhodes
Wink, wink, nudge, nudge, say no more!
Clif
It’s a metaphor.
Harvey Janus
This logic explains my grandmother’s collection of bodice-rippers…
LeslieBean4Shizzle
Joyce isn’t necessarily wrong. There is plenty of porn in the literary canon. I mean, have you read Chauser?
Jamie
And then there’s the Song of Solomon. In the Bible.
Like, come on.
Yumi
Ezekiel 23:19-21
Smiling Cat
Hey now, the song of solomon is just a metaphor for Jesus’ love for you. Specifically, he wants to climb you and grab your melons. 🙂
Chris Phoenix
There are Christians who actually believe the Song of Solomon is “a chaste and holy allegory of Christ’s love for his Church.”
Piotr W
That’s what I’ve been told during my religious education, yes.
SillyGoose
So what do ‘melons’ translate to in this context? I need to know what the Chruche’s melons are.
MatthewTheLucky
They’re what Jesus holds on to while he loves the Church.
Commodore Counterintuitive
Screw that, I want to know what the farts are.
Clif
It’s a metaphor.
Smiling Cat
SillyGoose: Boobs. It’s pretty blatant. “Thou art a mighty tree, thy breasts like melons. And I thought, I shall climb this tree and grasp its melons” (paraphrasing from memory because I’m lazy).
Piotr W
See, the funny thing is, we didn’t get into these details 🙂 We’re simply taught the general notion that the book is a metaphor 🙂
Smiling Cat
It’s so much easier to use the bible to justify what a person wants if nobody actually reads it. 🙂
Tualha
Hmm no I must admit I am not familiar with any authors named Chauser.
Clif
I understand he wrote the congaerberry Tails.
TheFlamingonator
canterbury tales. lets just say i had a hard time keeping a straight face when i had to read them for literature…
Clif
No, no. You’re confusing Chaucer with Chaucer. One wrote the Canterbury Tales and the other wrote the Congaberry Tails.
Clif
Chaucer with Chauser.. Damn spell corrector ruined my joke after the filter cleaned it up.
foamy
I prefer a simpler definition, which encompasses a variety of mediums:
Pornography is that which, upon orgasm, ceases to be interesting.
Dave the Inverted
That is a *marvelous* definition.
Mada
let’s be real though; the second Clark’s sphincter clenches reflexively, Bruce’s sausage will be snipped.
toby
kryptonite condoms, maybe?
Freemage
Nah, red solar radiation-infused lube. Quells Clark’s super-powers just long enough for lovin’, with no lethality or weird side-effects like making Supes become a yeti or something. (Red Kryptonite was the strangest Kryptonite.)
Kryss LaBryn
Stranger than Pink Kryptonite?
Nelly Dreadful
According to several versions of the superman canon, Supes’s invulnerability actually extends out slightly PAST his skin and can actually infuse objects he is in contact with for a certain amount of time, temporarily making them also invulnerable. This is the in-universe explanation for why his clothes aren’t constantly getting burned or blasted off, or for when a writer wants to have Superman do something like shield someone with his cape: the cape has been touching Superman long enough that the cape temporarily also has superpowers.
So basically, a regular condom would work.
Also, someone in close contact with supes for a while would also probably gain his super resilience for a bit, so if he goes slow and there’s lots of cuddling (which is probably a given, Clark seems like a cuddler) then there’s no problem.
… Yes I have thought too damn much about weird superhero physics as applied to intimacy.
Clif
Actually, Martha wove the cape out of the unraveled thread from the Kryptonian blanket Superman was wrapped in as a baby, thereby accounting for the cape’s special abilities. At least according to an issue I read in my youth.
tim gueguen
Geez, not more “Man of Steel, Woman of Kleenex” crap. Given that Supes is a fictional character he can simply written as being safe for humans to have sex with.
Dean
Superman is an alien, he’s probably all HR Giger down there anyway.
Khyrin
In the words of Leif and Thorn IN SPACE!Thorn… “Yes please I would like some of all of that.
Matt
It has pincers
Shaith86
I was going to find that so I guess I’ll settle for linking https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=p1dzglJEqac
Roborat
That is too funny, what is it from?
Matt
Matt
Let me try that again,
It’s just a one-off strip by Stjepan Sejic
Roborat
Darn, I was hoping it was a webcomic I could add to my collection.
Zach
MarySueman was originally barely bullet proof, and Clarks’ a good sub, he wouldn’t let himself slip like that.
(Dude must be desperate for someone out there to tell him what to do, listen to that Tissue Paper monolog again!)
Wraithy2773
“DO YOU BLEED? YOU WILL.”
Stephen Bierce
*ironic snippet of Prince’s “Batdance” plays from Amber’s computer speaker*
saltchocolate
So much yes.
kitty
i fucking called it
saltchocolate
Hilarious fonts are hilarious!
Tacos
I choose to believe that Joyce is saying it in the British-est accent possible.
Bicycle Bill
There’s a school of thought which claims that the British accent of today is an affectation acquired over the years as the Engish unconsciously cultivated a manner of speaking that sounded more ‘posh’. On the other hand, Americans, isolated as we were from the ‘mother tongue’, never made that change with the end result that today’s American accent is actually truer to the British accent of Shakespeare’s day rather than what most people think of as the ‘classic’ British manner of speaking.
BBCC
Depends on the place. I heard that about either Virginia or New England accents (I don’t recall offhand which).
FireAtWilliam
This schol of thought is at best, a heavy exaggeration (when it’s not used explicitly as a means of increasing tourism to the Appalachians). Realistically, some areas are closer to 18th century British pronunciation, bu language and acccents are constantly changing and evolving
Dragonfire
This school of thought also makes the assumption that linguistic drift only happened on one side of the ocean, which is highly unlikely. American regional accents have more likely changed and grown in their own ways since the 17th century – just not in the exact same ways that British regional accents have changed and grown.
thejeff
The basic concept seems sound, though obviously blurred by the fact that there are multiple accents in both countries. The main theory is that the British started dropping their Rs at least in the main urban dialects, while most US dialects kept them.