its ok she got dis!
she can dodge bullets right its one of her super powers….
Ana Chronistic
shit, I forgot it’s BTTF Day, that should be a HOVERBOARD!!
Dean
Some huge dude named Griff just crashed into the front of city hall and got arrested. Sayid got his hoverboard, that’s why he’s letting Amazi-Girl keep his skateboard.
….Sayid looks …..like Sal and Walky fused together with glasses. tan skin, walky’s fluffy dark hair, sal’s tatoo’s. seems about sal’s height…..think he even has walky/sal’s eye design too!!
Yes, exactly. “Named-by-Tumblr” is Arabic for “close to the prophet”. I should know, I have multiple degrees in both Arabicology and Arabiconomy.
John
The idea that Tumblr is a prophet is not far off from some users’ behaviors. So by extension one who is “Named by Tumblr” is necessarily “close to the prophet.”
Clif
Amazing how it all fits.
El Chupacabre
Not sure if I’m correct that “Named-by-tumblr” is meant to express doubt about the accuracy of the original statement, but if you do a little research, Sayyid does mean descendant of the prophet. Although from what I understand that may only apply to last names?
Agemegos
There are two similar names.”Sayyid” is a title for descendants of the Prophet which is also used as a personal name. “Sayid” is a personal name meaning “Happy”, like Arabic for “Felix”. Both of them are spelled a bunch of different ways in Latin characters, with the result that this could be either.
Just realized, the gun or Ross’s possible physical strength may not even be a factor. Amber is on a skateboard and Ross is driving a car. The kind of thing an automobile ncan do to an unprotected pedestrian make guns look tame by comparison.
Yeah, count me in the really flippin worried column here.
Yep, you just latched on to one of the basic facts of my profession. If guns had terminal ballistics anything close to motor vehicles they would be outlawed as WMD. Bullets are 9% fatal, if you can even get one on target. Motor vehicles fly by that mark at 23 MPH, and asymptotically approach 100% fatal around 50. Even at “just” 30 MPH motor vehicles are 40% fatal with pedestrians and cyclists.
I have the chart from the 2009 AAA study memorized.
Julian
Poet?
Ana Chronistic
well, Amazi-Girl DID say she was crazy
Hielario
True.
ShadowCougar
Hrmm, interesting. I don’t doubt you at all, but I would love to see a source for the bullet to vehicle comparison. it sounds fairly accurate, I just like to have sources for when I debate some subjects 🙂
(Keep in mind that compared to firearm ownership, though, car ownership is hugely regulated, so if anyone tries to argue that cars are deadlier than guns as a way of sarcastically suggest a car ban… it’s gonna be embarrassing for them. Imagine gun licenses in every state that have to be regularly renewed, where your vision is checked, and an actual database exists of users that ties you directly to the gun you are licenses for. Imagine being required to but gun insurance to cover you in case of an accident. Imagine being actually required to keep the safety on (as we are required by law to wear seatbelts). Imagine requiring that you pass a firearm safety test before being able to get a gun license, and harder exams for different kinds of guns. (Commercial car licenses, like those required to be a bus driver, for assault weapons…))
You’re right, that is incredibly implausible. At least in this current day and age, when the NRA is anti-gun control. Apparently before the 80s their main function was gun training and registration.
r_r
There are zero regulations on car ownership. A 10 year old can legally buy a car and have it delivered.
Driving it on public roads is where regulation begins and ends there.
@r_r I’m sorry, are you really trying to argue that you don’t need a driver’s license or auto insurance?
Like, sure, you can technically buy that car and then drive it around without a license, but you are breaking the law to do so. Even if the car just sits in your driveway and never goes anywhere, it needs to be insured.
Not true, a car does not legally need to be insured if it’s not being driven on the road. It is completely legal to buy and possess a car, and operate it on private property without any license, insurance, or regulations (for example, Google “farm truck”). It’s only illegal to drive it on public roadways without meeting those requirements. And plenty of people do.
Boxilar
The counterpoint to the cars and guns regulation debate is that if guns were regulated like cars, the lisence to carry a gun would require a written and practical test provided by the state for a nominal fee and people as young as 16 years old could walk around strapped with 15 years olds allowed to carry with the supervision of a licensed adult. There would also not be the huge variance of law from state to state. All state laws would be standardized and each state would have to honor every other state’s gun licences.
Jacknoir
except that there is at least one guy who regularly gets out of traffic tickets while not having a license because apparently they were only ever suppose to apply to commercial use and so not restrict a person’s constitutionally guaranteed right to travel.
I’ve actually looked into it and their is some pretty sketchy legality to the whole thing centered around the difference between the legal definition and the common usage of terms like motor vehicle, transportation, and especially carrier.
a carrier is a person who is paid to carry goods and people from one place to another, transportation is the movement of people or goods by a carrier, and a motor vehicle is a self-propelled contrivance used for transportation…
so if you are not being paid to engage in the act of transportation then your personal conveyance is not technically under the jurisdiction of the Department of motor vehicles it’s just that most people simply assume that it is and/or don’t want to spend the time and effort in court.
I can’t find a proper cite with a quick Google search, but the fun thing about math is that you can do it yourself! F=MA, the mass and acceleration are easy to look up, just plug the numbers into your slide rule or favorite online calculator likeso to see the force. That’s .45 ACP, a common big pistol bullet, and an average small car at 30mph. Rifle bullets are going much faster, more than enough to make up for their lower weight, of course (the smallest size Thumb-Dad’s gun shoots has about twice the energy of the .45, with a teensy bullet moving extremely fast), but there’s multiple orders of magnitude difference between car and bullet.
Agemegos
E = ½mv² would be more useful than F = ma in this case.
Jon Rich
Do you have a source for that? I believe you, but it would be great to have a source to refer to when I’m talking to people.
Pretty sure most soldiers back in the day preferred the bayonet in the melee. it’s a knife … on a stick! (Called a glaive when the stick isn’t also a gun, btw). I’m not worried. Amazi-Girl’s gonna take his gun and beat him with it.
Boxilar
A soldier would have been trained to use both the pointy stabby end and the clubby crushy end of a bayonetted rifle. This started way back when reloading a single shot muzzle loading musket took a good third of a minute and continued on through WWII and Korea when the military still used heavy rifles made of steel and wood. With more modern light weight assault rifles, the emphasis is on the stabby end. As my Drill Sargent admitted in a candid moment, “The striking effectiveness of the M-16 as a club is roughly equal to a wiffle ball bat.”
I’m know I’m focusing on the wrong thing here but what’s the deal with the negative correlation of neck size and stress put on the body (either via body building or labor intensive jobs)?
Boxilar
Work that involves heavy upper body strength, especially the shoulder, tends to build up massive trapesius muscles which are the muscles of the upper back and shoulders that flank 9th neck. A person with heavily developed traps will appear to have a very short or extremely thick neck. This should not be confused with Kippel-Feil syndrome, a congenital defect that causes extremely short necks in people.
Boxilar
Sorry, I realize that did not answer your question. The implication if someone does a physical job for a living, they must not be too bright. Which defies the fact that a large number of physically dangerous and demanding jobs pay pretty well. And of course there’s the whole “muscle head” or “meathead” sneer directed at fitness buffs and body builders. Probably because they can’t seem to talk about anything else.
As to Ross, he may be a dumb meathead, or he may be pretty intelligent and blinded by a lifetime of indoctrination and ideology.
Ana Chronistic
It feels like karmic justice that a lot of menial jobs for “uneducated” people (e.g. plumber) pay a lot more than many white-collar jobs (e.g. pretty much any desk jockey work easily outsourced to other countries). If I had to do it over, I might’ve actually gone for one of those well-paying “menial” jobs, knowing the job market these days.
Poor, poor Joyce. Now she has ANOTHER person to worry about.
This is a bad idea, a bad idea, a bad idea a… HOLY CARP! AMAZIE-GIRL FOLLOWS THE CAR ON A SKATEBOARD TO TAKE ON THE MAN WITH THE GUN AND SAVE BECKY. THIS IS THE AWESOMEST THING SINCE…. OK, since “clever girl” which was just a few minutes ago BUT STILL.
I like Skateboard dude’s attitude. Sure, take the skateboard and follow the shooter. You’re the super hero around here.
426 thoughts on “Cojones”
Ana Chronistic
sure, a gun without bullets is just a blunt knife
same diff
OH HI SAYID NAMED-BY-TUMBLR
Pat
Bullets are sorta like small, fast knives.
L33tmaster
its ok she got dis!
she can dodge bullets right its one of her super powers….
Ana Chronistic
shit, I forgot it’s BTTF Day, that should be a HOVERBOARD!!
Dean
Some huge dude named Griff just crashed into the front of city hall and got arrested. Sayid got his hoverboard, that’s why he’s letting Amazi-Girl keep his skateboard.
Ana Chronistic
you mean the Dean’s office, maybe
Deanatay
Nope, that’s BTTF1.
Baf
Okay, but how is he going to clean the manure off it?
Resident SnipeFish
Sayid actually doesn’t mind manure.
Chas. Owens
Even better, they are small, fast, blunt knives. Who is afraid of small, blunt knives?
Gangler
Little fingers that poke you from across the room.
saltchocolate
…that poke holes into you…
Fixed.
Justin
….Sayid looks …..like Sal and Walky fused together with glasses. tan skin, walky’s fluffy dark hair, sal’s tatoo’s. seems about sal’s height…..think he even has walky/sal’s eye design too!!
Weyland
Long-lost older sibling confirmed. ;P
JessWitt
Interesting last name. Is it Polish?
Graham
Arabic. It means “related to the prophet”.
JessWitt
Oops, I meant “Named-by-Tumblr”.
motorfirebox
Yes, exactly. “Named-by-Tumblr” is Arabic for “close to the prophet”. I should know, I have multiple degrees in both Arabicology and Arabiconomy.
John
The idea that Tumblr is a prophet is not far off from some users’ behaviors. So by extension one who is “Named by Tumblr” is necessarily “close to the prophet.”
Clif
Amazing how it all fits.
El Chupacabre
Not sure if I’m correct that “Named-by-tumblr” is meant to express doubt about the accuracy of the original statement, but if you do a little research, Sayyid does mean descendant of the prophet. Although from what I understand that may only apply to last names?
Agemegos
There are two similar names.”Sayyid” is a title for descendants of the Prophet which is also used as a personal name. “Sayid” is a personal name meaning “Happy”, like Arabic for “Felix”. Both of them are spelled a bunch of different ways in Latin characters, with the result that this could be either.
Boxilar
A Ruger Number One is still a solid chunk of steel and hardwood when empty that weighs between seven and nine pounds, depending on the specific model. It would serve as a decent war club even unloaded. Which is how soldiers used single shot rifles in mêlée before the advent of semi automatic of full auto rifles. And Ross is a physically large and powerfully built man. He has no neck to speak of, which is the sign of either a dedicated body builder or someone who works a physically demanding job.
Gotta admit, kinda worried about Amber here.
Boxilar
Just realized, the gun or Ross’s possible physical strength may not even be a factor. Amber is on a skateboard and Ross is driving a car. The kind of thing an automobile ncan do to an unprotected pedestrian make guns look tame by comparison.
Yeah, count me in the really flippin worried column here.
Opus the Poet
Yep, you just latched on to one of the basic facts of my profession. If guns had terminal ballistics anything close to motor vehicles they would be outlawed as WMD. Bullets are 9% fatal, if you can even get one on target. Motor vehicles fly by that mark at 23 MPH, and asymptotically approach 100% fatal around 50. Even at “just” 30 MPH motor vehicles are 40% fatal with pedestrians and cyclists.
I have the chart from the 2009 AAA study memorized.
Julian
Poet?
Ana Chronistic
well, Amazi-Girl DID say she was crazy
Hielario
True.
ShadowCougar
Hrmm, interesting. I don’t doubt you at all, but I would love to see a source for the bullet to vehicle comparison. it sounds fairly accurate, I just like to have sources for when I debate some subjects 🙂
Li
Google’s right there, so it’d be pretty easy to get a source yourself.
Li
(Keep in mind that compared to firearm ownership, though, car ownership is hugely regulated, so if anyone tries to argue that cars are deadlier than guns as a way of sarcastically suggest a car ban… it’s gonna be embarrassing for them. Imagine gun licenses in every state that have to be regularly renewed, where your vision is checked, and an actual database exists of users that ties you directly to the gun you are licenses for. Imagine being required to but gun insurance to cover you in case of an accident. Imagine being actually required to keep the safety on (as we are required by law to wear seatbelts). Imagine requiring that you pass a firearm safety test before being able to get a gun license, and harder exams for different kinds of guns. (Commercial car licenses, like those required to be a bus driver, for assault weapons…))
Historyman68
You’re right, that is incredibly implausible. At least in this current day and age, when the NRA is anti-gun control. Apparently before the 80s their main function was gun training and registration.
r_r
There are zero regulations on car ownership. A 10 year old can legally buy a car and have it delivered.
Driving it on public roads is where regulation begins and ends there.
de Combys
We had that in Canada until last year.
Li
@r_r I’m sorry, are you really trying to argue that you don’t need a driver’s license or auto insurance?
Like, sure, you can technically buy that car and then drive it around without a license, but you are breaking the law to do so. Even if the car just sits in your driveway and never goes anywhere, it needs to be insured.
This is a poor rebuttal. :|a D+.
qman
Not true, a car does not legally need to be insured if it’s not being driven on the road. It is completely legal to buy and possess a car, and operate it on private property without any license, insurance, or regulations (for example, Google “farm truck”). It’s only illegal to drive it on public roadways without meeting those requirements. And plenty of people do.
Boxilar
The counterpoint to the cars and guns regulation debate is that if guns were regulated like cars, the lisence to carry a gun would require a written and practical test provided by the state for a nominal fee and people as young as 16 years old could walk around strapped with 15 years olds allowed to carry with the supervision of a licensed adult. There would also not be the huge variance of law from state to state. All state laws would be standardized and each state would have to honor every other state’s gun licences.
Jacknoir
except that there is at least one guy who regularly gets out of traffic tickets while not having a license because apparently they were only ever suppose to apply to commercial use and so not restrict a person’s constitutionally guaranteed right to travel.
I’ve actually looked into it and their is some pretty sketchy legality to the whole thing centered around the difference between the legal definition and the common usage of terms like motor vehicle, transportation, and especially carrier.
a carrier is a person who is paid to carry goods and people from one place to another, transportation is the movement of people or goods by a carrier, and a motor vehicle is a self-propelled contrivance used for transportation…
so if you are not being paid to engage in the act of transportation then your personal conveyance is not technically under the jurisdiction of the Department of motor vehicles it’s just that most people simply assume that it is and/or don’t want to spend the time and effort in court.
http://legal-dictionary.thefreedictionary.com/carrier
http://thelawdictionary.org/transportation/
http://definitions.uslegal.com/v/vehicle/
Chillbro Baggins
I can’t find a proper cite with a quick Google search, but the fun thing about math is that you can do it yourself! F=MA, the mass and acceleration are easy to look up, just plug the numbers into your slide rule or favorite online calculator like so to see the force. That’s .45 ACP, a common big pistol bullet, and an average small car at 30mph. Rifle bullets are going much faster, more than enough to make up for their lower weight, of course (the smallest size Thumb-Dad’s gun shoots has about twice the energy of the .45, with a teensy bullet moving extremely fast), but there’s multiple orders of magnitude difference between car and bullet.
Agemegos
E = ½mv² would be more useful than F = ma in this case.
Jon Rich
Do you have a source for that? I believe you, but it would be great to have a source to refer to when I’m talking to people.
Opus the Poet
I just did a search for pedestrian death rates vs motor vehicle speed but using “aaa pedestrian safety” got https://www.aaafoundation.org/sites/default/files/2011PedestrianRiskVsSpeed.pdf as the 4th result. The relationship of death to speed is on page 9 of the report.
Chillbro Baggins
Pretty sure most soldiers back in the day preferred the bayonet in the melee. it’s a knife … on a stick! (Called a glaive when the stick isn’t also a gun, btw). I’m not worried. Amazi-Girl’s gonna take his gun and beat him with it.
Boxilar
A soldier would have been trained to use both the pointy stabby end and the clubby crushy end of a bayonetted rifle. This started way back when reloading a single shot muzzle loading musket took a good third of a minute and continued on through WWII and Korea when the military still used heavy rifles made of steel and wood. With more modern light weight assault rifles, the emphasis is on the stabby end. As my Drill Sargent admitted in a candid moment, “The striking effectiveness of the M-16 as a club is roughly equal to a wiffle ball bat.”
Riku
I’m know I’m focusing on the wrong thing here but what’s the deal with the negative correlation of neck size and stress put on the body (either via body building or labor intensive jobs)?
Boxilar
Work that involves heavy upper body strength, especially the shoulder, tends to build up massive trapesius muscles which are the muscles of the upper back and shoulders that flank 9th neck. A person with heavily developed traps will appear to have a very short or extremely thick neck. This should not be confused with Kippel-Feil syndrome, a congenital defect that causes extremely short necks in people.
Boxilar
Sorry, I realize that did not answer your question. The implication if someone does a physical job for a living, they must not be too bright. Which defies the fact that a large number of physically dangerous and demanding jobs pay pretty well. And of course there’s the whole “muscle head” or “meathead” sneer directed at fitness buffs and body builders. Probably because they can’t seem to talk about anything else.
As to Ross, he may be a dumb meathead, or he may be pretty intelligent and blinded by a lifetime of indoctrination and ideology.
Ana Chronistic
It feels like karmic justice that a lot of menial jobs for “uneducated” people (e.g. plumber) pay a lot more than many white-collar jobs (e.g. pretty much any desk jockey work easily outsourced to other countries). If I had to do it over, I might’ve actually gone for one of those well-paying “menial” jobs, knowing the job market these days.
showler
I thought his name would be “Sayid Macropodus-Ocellatus”?
Sassle
I don’t need friends or bullets, I have knives!
Cody
This is madness!
Explosions
No this is Dumbing of Age……. Oh wait yeah of course it’s madness it’s Dumbing of Age
motorfirebox
No, this iS PARTA the story.
Leorale
I am iS PARTA
Meyers
What you did there? I saw that
Porthos9438
*Stands and salutes* God speed Amazi-girl!!
Blahaha
No, this is Patrick
Bagge
Poor, poor Joyce. Now she has ANOTHER person to worry about.
This is a bad idea, a bad idea, a bad idea a… HOLY CARP! AMAZIE-GIRL FOLLOWS THE CAR ON A SKATEBOARD TO TAKE ON THE MAN WITH THE GUN AND SAVE BECKY. THIS IS THE AWESOMEST THING SINCE…. OK, since “clever girl” which was just a few minutes ago BUT STILL.
I like Skateboard dude’s attitude. Sure, take the skateboard and follow the shooter. You’re the super hero around here.
nothri
I agree with you. This is awesome. And a bad idea.
JustCheetoDust
It could be awesome with the right approach, like through the windshield.
Bibulb
“Hi, Becky! Have a lap full of superheroine!”
Bagge
I’m so happy you said that because I really needed a reminder of Happier Times
Willinwoods
THANK YOU for that! IOU an internet.
de Combys
As long as it’s not superheroin. She might be tempted to use that to numb the pain.
DarkoNeko
“Dude, keep it” ? really ? 😮
(hey, it coincide with a day related to Back to the future… remember that skateboard scene ?)
ninja_jesus
Exactly what I was thinking.
cesium133
He’s got a Pitbull now.
L33tmaster
it will transform into a hoverboard watch
anna
…I am now officially In Awe.
Jimmy
“Those things don’t work on water. Unless you got power!”
SailorCakes
There’s skater guy! 😀
Yotomoe
I said see you later guy!
Stephen R. Bierce
I saw what you Sayid thar.
cynthash