Union
Posted on May 6, 2014 by David M Willis

288 thoughts on “Union”

  1. Jen Aside

    Walky has BEST TIMING

    1. ShaggyDonahugh

      Walky would either make a great secret agent, or a terrible one.
      Enemy Secret Agents: “These are the plans for a new warhead.”
      Walky: “Whoa Whoa Whoa, what the heck is this?”

      1. Doctor_Who

        Or an old school British bobby.

        “‘Ere now, wot’s all this then?”

        1. ankhtahr

          I wholeheartedly support this.

        2. Hanii Puppy

          “So, we rob the bank at noon. I and Jim will go round the front and gather hostages, paul and kevin will guard the-”

          “Wel well well, what ‘ave we got ‘ere then?”

        3. Jen Aside

          “Voici l’usine de glue. Voici le flipchart… Qu’est-ce qu c’est? Le fromage… les souris… le job italien! Qui est Charlie Croker?”

        4. Van Jealous

          Just like Arthur Treacher in “Mary Poppins”!

        5. Doctor_Who

          “Hoh, it’s a jawly ‘olidye wif Mary”

          Dick van Dyke’s attempt as a Cockney accent is legendary.

      2. Ahighfunctioningsociopath

        Yeah, he could. Hypothetically of course. Not that that’s ever happened or anything. Ha ha ha.
        (He knows too much)

      3. Tunaro

        The Walkyverse points evidence towards the former, followed by an apotheosis inta Cheezus.

      4. Kernanator

        He’d also be the best reporter.

        *Amber starts changing into Amazi-Girl*
        Walky: Whoa Whoa Whoa, what the heck is this?

        1. ShaggyDonahugh

          Or a great voyeur.

          Billy-Danny makeouts
          Walky: Whoa Whoa Whoa, what the heck is this?

        2. Jen Aside

          Slipshine:

          “Whoa whoa WHOA, what the heck is THIS?? …am I getting royalties???”

        3. Devlerbat

          I am suddenly reminded of Snape from the Very Potter Musicals. “What the devil is going on here?”

        4. Ahighfunctioningsociopath

          Shut up butt-trumpet

  2. GoSpeedRumpist

    It’s just like all the things I treasure from my childhood.

    1. Tunaro

      Teen Titans and Batman Animated/Adventures/Beyond continue to prove themselves tried and true exceptions.

      1. ShaggyDonahugh

        Only the old Teen Titans. This new “version” they have is too…vibrant, for my tastes anywho.

        1. Time Sage

          You mean the one that’s a parody….

        2. Rutee

          Honestly, Teen Titans Go is the best parts of Teen Titans. The fighting was never the most interesting part.

      2. Maveric1984

        And The Real Ghostbusters (thank you J Michael Strazynski)

        And Animaniacs (most Warner Bros cartoons from the 90s were great actually, but Animaniacs especially).

        1. JustCheetoDust

          Freakazoid, too, while on the subject of great WB cartoons other than the obvious Animaniacs and Batman TAS.

        2. Hanii Puppy

          And Samurai Jack, and Outlaw Star.

          Which, despite what wikipedia says, was never censored when it was shown here.

        3. begbert2

          Dunno where “here” is, but Outlaw Star was definitely censored in (at least some of) its broadcasts in the United States of Prudes.

        4. Some1udontknow

          Even though censoring is technically illegal

        5. insomniac

          Not how censorship laws work. Like, at all.

        6. Maveric1984

          Yes it was. Watch the DVDs some time. Milena is supposed to be naked when she’s running the ship, but they painted a top and bottom on hereven though you can’t really see anything. They say “blaster” instead of “gun” all the time. Gene and Jim are playing Go Fish instead of Poker in the first episode. They toned down on Gene’s womanizing, and on the gayness of their benefactor (who’s name escapes me, the guy who sold them weapons). And they didn’t air the second to last episode because it was a gratuitous filler episode at a hot spring resort, featuring skimpy bathing suits on the entire cast (male and female) and full frontal nudity on Aisha Clan Clan’s part.

        7. Marisa Mockery

          You know, for kids!

        8. begbert2

          If I were you I wouldn’t make the assumption that Outlaw Star, or any anime, was designed for a kid audience.

          On the other hand I’ve seen anime that definitively *was* targeted at kids and still included content that would earn it censorship in the states, and I don’t actually know that Outlaw Star was not targeted at a kid/young teen audience, so who knows.

        9. Time Sage

          Sailor Moon is the first one off the top of my head.
          Lesbians, Gender-shifting aliens, and in the manga version, the main character committing suicide at one point… yeah. Totally for kids!

        10. begbert2

          Plus full nudity of adolescent girls and a scene in the second episode where a boy flips up a teacher’s skirt. Standards, they be different in diverse places.

        11. Rutee

          Uh, full nudity of adolescent girls isn’t really a big deal in shit that is (successfully) targeting that for girls, even speaking objectively.

          Shit’s really only a big deal to meriken.

        12. Deathjavu

          Is it ok that I’m still, to this day, sad that Samurai Jack never got an ending? I know there’s always been lingering talk of a movie, but let’s face facts: that’s probably always going to be vaporware. (Ugh, that hurt to say)

          Plus there’s the fact that Makoto (Aku’s voice) is dead, which is…I mean, that just makes the possible movie seem extra dead to me, besides being sad in general. I don’t know that anyone else could do the voice without my ears rejecting it as utterly false.

        13. zathael

          Samurai Jack the Movie was in pre-production until Makoto’s untimely death put a halt in it. If you look hard enough you can find some scripts and early storyboarding but even doesn’t really have an ending. Its a damn shame but that’s the way of things.

        14. insomniac

          There’s a currently ongoing comic book series.

        15. Garth Wallace

          It’s currently being officially continued in comic book form, written by ex-webcomics guy Jim Zub.

      3. Legasher

        And Jackie Chan Adventures. I’ve been rewatching that lately and it is still great.

    2. Wack'd

      Except for [insert commonly-agreed upon classic here, preferably one with adult jokes or a mature tone.] That continues to be awesome.

      1. Chatokun

        Odd, the (old) AMV “Right Now Someone is Reading this Title” by dokidoki productions mentions outlaw star being censored as well.

        1. Chatokun

          Hmm, this replied to the wrong person. This was referencing outlaw star being censored.

    3. Pooga

      Being a child of the 70s, I can sadly agree without exceptions. So far, every Saturday morning cartoon I remember fondly has thoroughly lived up to the stereotype. Thanks, Hanna Barberra.

      1. Pooga

        (and to a lesser extent, Sid & Marty Kroft)

        1. Ocbrad1

          Amen to both!

    4. Sambo

      You’d think I’d feel this way about Schoolhouse rock. But I don’t 😀

    5. Garth Wallace

      I picked up a DVD set of Bionic Six at a con once, but after I got home and came down from my geek high, I put off watching any of it for a looong time because I was sure it would turn out to suck and my memories would be ruined. I eventually watched an episode and…it was actually pretty decent. Cheap animation, sure, but fun.

      Inhumanoids, though, was a total turkey as expected.

      1. David M Willis

        I…. have an unopened DVD of the entirety of “Hey Vern, It’s Ernest.”

        this is for the best

  3. otusasio451

    And the rose-colored glasses have been replaced by humiliation. Such is life.

    1. Doctor_Who

      This is turning Joyce’s rose colored glasses jade colored faster than weeks of living with Sarah ever could.

    2. newllend

      Humiliation and shame, but that’s just her life.

  4. Jen Aside

    …I just noticed Chastity’s costume details =C

    [I was gonna type Chastitty LAWL]

    1. Yotomoe

      She’s got the Chastitties.

    2. Tunaro

      I’ll be 100% honest, I had to do a double take ’cause I thought that was actually the most painful lookin’ piercing I’d ever seen.

      1. JustCheetoDust

        I thought of Robin Hood: Men in Tights. In the case of this strip I doubt what we’re looking at is the greatest treasure in all the land.

        1. Speedball

          History of the World Part I: “Ladies, attach chastity belts!”

        2. Morgauxo

          Clearly you haven’t experienced what happens when the ‘repressed’ finally ‘open up’. Then again… that is supposed to be a mouse.

        3. JustCheetoDust

          1) I guess I should appreciate the assumption made about my upbringing since that means I don’t sound like I was raised Catholic. On the other hand, from high school on I made most of my friends outside of Catholic institutions, so I did miss out on that.

          2a) I didn’t intend the second sentence to be so much an opinion on anything in today’s strip as it was a reference to the movie I brought up. so…

          2b) …WOOSH

        4. begbert2

          What the hell? What kind of a chart is read as going backwards from 1 to 0? (Or should I say from 0 to 0, thanks to the two vertical axes.) Clearly that joke isn’t so much going over the head as it is crashing and burning.

          …wait, I just got whooshed, didn’t I. Damn.

        5. JustCheetoDust

          Yeah, it’s supposed to be a mouse but it looks like the effort there began and ended with the mask. I don’t think they wanted to go the whole nine yards with the costume design (read: two pairs of inguinal nipples).

    3. Mr. Random

      That lock is not going to do anything. At all.

    4. JeffEpp

      First thing I saw. Then I saw the short shorts on both of them. Not creepy at all, nooo.

      No worse than cringing through my nephew watching the Wiggles 10+ years ago.

    5. Yet Another Laura H.

      No, if she were a titmouse, she’d have a beak.

  5. Mr. Random

    It is NOT safe with Walky, however.

  6. Yotomoe

    ABSOLUTE GARBAGE, that’s what!

  7. Khaner

    NSFW
    Not safe for Walky

    1. Plasma Mongoose

      More like Not Safe From Walky.

      1. Yotomoe

        No!!! Stop Farting, Walky!

        1. Jen Aside

          No Secret From Walky

        2. KingMabel

          Nerdy secretaries flaunt Walky

        3. Jay Eff

          Nine Salamanders Fight Walky

        4. Plasma Mongoose

          Now Safe For Wanking.

        5. Jen Aside

          Neutered Sex Fucking Wankers

        6. John

          Next Slipshine From Willis?

        7. DEG1377

          ^^^ Win.

        8. Roborat

          Ninjas shouldn’t flay Walky.

      2. newllend

        I feel as if two things are going to happen here:

        A.) Walky actually started to like this shit.

        Or

        B.) Seeing 5 seconds of this throws him in a ferrous rage that drives him to destroy the computer.

        1. Ben

          Ah… ferrous rage, the best kind. Where viking’s and Knight’s get so pissed they draw their swords and begin slaying indiscriminately….

        2. Swerve

          No, ferrous rage is actually a symptom of cosmic rust. As a Cybertronian metallurgist, I was called upon to treat cosmic rust on more occasions than I’d care to list during the Great War. Ferrous rage is one of the later symptoms, a sign that the rust has penetrated the victim’s brain module and is affecting their core personality. They become irritated, moody, angry and have to be restrained to avoid harming themselves (because their bodies are rusting while this going on, and it’s not a good idea to punch someone when your fist has practically rusted to nothing). Please don’t make jokes about cosmic rust, or ferrous rage. I realize that I’m one big practical joker, but a disease that rusts a ‘Bot from inside and out and ultimately turns their brain to flakes of iron oxide, is no joke.

        3. Kernanator

          I am now imagining Walky watching every episode of Hymmel and making fun of it in a series of reviews on the Internet.

        4. Sit

          He should watch the episodes, memorize lines and then spout them whenever he within earshot of Joyce.

        5. Plasma Mongoose

          And eventually joins TGWTG.

        6. Mkvenner

          Hell Yeah!

        7. Morgauxo

          I like it!
          But… that seems like too much work for Walky

        8. Jack

          I’m imagining him actually becoming a fan for some reason. Not for the intended message, certainly, but maybe it has great potential for parody or the melodies really were good or something.

        9. Jen Aside

          A friend of mine sometimes streams “VHS Roulette” wherein he puts in some old VHS cassettes lying around his house and everyone watches what’s on them. Regardless of the label, it’s usually Beast Wars =p

          BUT

          There are a bunch of Sailor Moon tapes, and before each episode, there’s the tail end of a show starring Pastor Arnold Murray of Shepherd’s Chapel, and everyone likes watching the show ironically (particularly since it came on before SAILOR MOON).

          So, MAYBE!

        10. Whittier

          Well, I’m assuming what’s meant is “feral” (untamed) instead of “ferrous” (related to iron).

        11. begbert2

          I’m pretty much absolutely certain that Walky isn’t going to like this shit. Aside from having some semblance of taste (admittedly, trashy taste), he also has morals and standards which aren’t going to have much

  8. Parismio

    *Snrrk* “Mice Boys”

    1. Yotomoe

      They’re Mice men now. Who wants THAT pinup calender?

      1. JustCheetoDust

        Furries.

      2. Wack'd

        A typical case whom we shall refer to as Mr. A does, though his real name is this:

        ARTHUR JACKSON
        32A MILTON AVENUE,
        HOUNSLOW, MIDDLESEX.

        1. brionl

          https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uK92NYwBMts

  9. SilverArrowArtemis

    Knowing Joyce, she’ll still keep the disc.

  10. someguywithakatana

    Yeah… it’s always a sad day for the fundy kids when they grow up and realize that Psalty’s kind of lame and creepy…

    Now Bibleman! That shit’s a classic!

    1. Yotomoe

      If there wasn’t a Bibleman, who would fight The Fibbler?

      1. someguywithakatana

        Fibbler’s okay, but Shadow of Doubt is clearly the best episode.

    2. Doctor_Who

      Don’t forget Superbook! Or McGee and Me! Or that Hanna Barbera one, I’m not sure what it’s called! I forget it, but you shouldn’t!

      1. Grackle

        Ah yes, “The Greatest Adventure: Stories from the Bible.” I’d almost forgotten that one. Unlike McGee and Me, which still worms its way into my consciousness every once in a while.

        1. Bridgebrain

          I’d totally forgotten about both of those. Damn, there’s my childhood right there >_>

    3. Jen Aside

      The Donut Man!

    4. Miriana

      Bibleman!! I’d forgotten about Bibleman!! I have to go back and rewatch that now!

      Thankfully, my family never got into Psalty lol. I think I saw a cartoon version once. We liked Bibleman and The Greatest Adventure-Stories from the Bible. Those had farr more interesting stories lol.

    5. OldFart

      @someguy….
      I converted as a teen in the ’70’s, and we didn’t have cable TV, so I unfortunately missed all that stellar content. The ‘server’ song reminded me of a certain Christian pop classic, which is now stuck in my head, thanks to YouTube.

    6. Bib

      Wasn’t that some show about someguywithalighsaber.

      Cinema Snob reviewed one of his lamer episodes.

      1. someguywithakatana

        Yeah, back before they embraced the whole “This is a show about some guy fighting the legions of Hell with a lightsaber made from the Bible. Let’s just be goofy.”

        1. Marisa Mockery

          Kinda want to look into that now…..

    7. AdInfinitumSpero

      Holy sitcom batman ! That’s a real thing. I was reading this string of comments thinking they were just riffing, and bibleman is a real thing. I’m almost scared to look up ‘psalty’….

      1. CRtwenty

        At least you weren’t stuck with ‘animated stories from the book of Mormon’.

        Though watching Jesus go all obi won in front of an Aztec pyramid was kinda badass.

  11. newllend

    I think God would be more offended and pissed at the people who made this garbage.

    1. ShaggyDonahugh

      What? Didn’t you know? God’s a capitalist xD

      1. newllend

        (Grabs face) *sigh*

        1. JustCheetoDust

          Do it with two hands.

      2. Mkvenner

        No, that’s Satan. Its very surprising how may members of the clergy don’t mention that anymore.

        1. begbert2

          Whereas God’s preferred ideology is “autocratic dictatorship”. Like a kingdom, except with more Big Brother and less passing of the mantle to your inbred descendents.

      3. John

        Just ask Supply Side Jesus!

        1. Mkvenner

          Did Jack Chick ever sink that low?

  12. D-Void

    Secret shames are never secret long. But somehow they’re always still just as shameful.

    1. Ghostforge

      Joyce: Nuuuuu!! Leave me to my secret shame and sorrow!

  13. Gram91

    Okay, the best thing to do right now is to swear him to secrecy or else he has to watch the show himself.

  14. My1Digit I Q

    That chastity belt…

    1. newllend

      For a second there I thought was a dress with a lock on it, I about to say that’s stupid.

    2. Jen Aside

      It looks much more like a chastity diaper =p

      1. Deanatay

        Have you ever seen a chastity belt? Metal diapers with a lock.

        1. kelticat

          The ones I’ve seen were more like spiked crotchless undies with a lock.

          Thing is, its supposed to go under the dress, not on top.

        2. Beige

          I don’t think that’s a chastity belt 😉

        3. Heavensrun

          You realize chastity belts are fetish sex wear, right?

        4. Jen Aside

          The only for-real one I’ve seen (not counting the Robin Hood: Men In Tights version) was a “chastity” diaper for and worn by a guy.

          Hmm.

    3. Romanticide

      while not completely on the panel once you see it, you can never unsee it O.o

    4. Bernhard

      I briefly thought that it was a tail and she had her pants on backwards. Also, her prosthetics are nowhere near as grotesque as her real life counterpart’s.

  15. Regalli

    Only one word for this.

    D=!

  16. Jay Eff

    …And Willis manages to make the “Live Action” Chastity Churchmouse just a creepy as the original…

    1. Maveric1984

      Yeah, but the live action Psalty with the blue perm/beard combo and gold face is a lot more creepy than Hymmel.

  17. gangler

    Jesus, Walky. Do you not remember the last time you went barging into somebody’s room to start spouting unwanted opinions?

    1. Swerve

      If I ever stopped to consider whether my opinion was wanted, life on the “Lost Light” would not be nearly as interesting as it is! (And that was before we got our new captain!)

      1. gangler

        I feel like not chasing people down into their private spaces to ridicule them isn’t asking much.

        Seriously, the “Hey sis, sure was hilarious how you were dressing around our parents” incident can’t have been more than a few days ago. He doesn’t seem to enjoy this situation he’s got going with Sal now. Not like we’ve seen him scratching his chin going “My my, I just discovered an interesting thing about my sister. Life sure is made interesting my the decisions I make.”

        1. Swerve

          True, he barges in where no one asked him to, but why wasn’t the door locked? And why was he even allowed in that wing of the building in the first place? I thought humans are sexually dimorphous? And it’s not like he’s opened a bar in the middle of a space ship without authorization, and spends all day gossiping, kibbutzing, shooting the breeze, and playing wacky jokes on a homicidal cycloptic psycho, who claims he has “no known weaknesses”? Why does that sound familiar? Oh right, I just described myself.

          Look, Dorothy obviously cares a lot about Walky, and judging by how she handled her relationship with Danny, and how she’s tried to manage her relationship with Walky, Dorothy will try to set him straight. And Walky may be more amenable to her, ahem, guidance now than he would have been before Willis released their sex tape.

          Of course Joyce may challenge Walky to a duel before Dorothy can try to modify Walky’s behavior. Jackpot’s started a pool about whether Joyce hits Walky more times than she did Joe or not. There’s a ten shanix buy-in for anyone looking to join the fun. Right now Blaster, Trailcutter, Tailgate and Cyclonus have all bet that she doesn’t get into a fight, I bet she knocks Walky out with one punch (like Batman did to Guy Gardner), Jackpot’s bet she lands three good punches before he pulls her hair, and Skids, Brainstorm, Getaway and Atomizer have all bet that she and Walky each land one punch before someone breaks up the fight. Any takers?

        2. Morgauxo

          >>And why was he even allowed in that wing of the building in the first place?

          At my college the freshman dorms had separate guy and girl floors. You could walk into the opposite sex’s floor any time you wanted though. I’ve visited other schools where that wasn’t the case. Aside from religious schools I think the difference is the bathrooms. Dorms with community showers tend to be stricter since you have people walking around in towels. Even then, at the ones I visited guys were allowed in the girl areas so long as they were invited and escorted. Our dorms had suites where each suite had it’s own full bathroom so this wasn’t an issue. The non-freshman dorms were even better, alternate guy and girls suites on the same floor.

        3. David M Willis

          In this particular building, in both the strip and in real life, there is nothing to stop you from “getting in.” They’re all the same building, and each wing connects in the middle, openly, via an unremarkable hallway. You just have to walk farther.

        4. Jen Aside

          That seems creepy unsafe for potential predators, particularly the bathroom arrangement.

          If that’s really the way it is IRL, I’m glad I won’t ever attend =p (and wouldn’t let my potential kids stay in such a dorm)

        5. Swerve

          Wow. And I thought the safety protocols on the “Lost Light” were lax back when Rodimus was captain. (They’re much stricter now. If Megatron catches anyone playing catch with a grenade, he’s threatened to, and I quote, “Force feed it down your vocal apparatus.”)

          Wait, what about Ruth? She’s kind of like Megatron (in the ruthless taskmaster sense, not in the launching a genocidal revolution sense). Why isn’t she patrolling the hall, trying to keep Walky out of her wing? Or is Walky not on her radar? You’d think Ruth would want to take her frustration out on Billie’s friends, right?

        6. Roborat

          At my university, the residences were older buildings with three wings per floor, originally designed for single sex occupancy in the 60’s. Most floors were co-ed, which meant each wing was the same sex occupancy. My floor was integrated, which meant mixed sexes in each wing. The issue was the communal bathrooms, one per wing. The males were all supposed to use one washroom, and the females got the other two. That lasted until about Halloween, when we decided the heck with it, and just used the washroom in our wing. Was quite funny when a girl would wander in when a guy was using the urinal. Some guys wouldn’t use the urinals, but most did. Was also a little distracting to hear a girl singing in the shower stall beside you. All in all, it worked out just fine.

        7. Julez

          My school didnt even have separate floors. It was coed with rooms alternating boy/girl and communal bathrooms with gender specific keys. The girl key worked on every girls bathroom in the building.

        8. Jen

          At my college, each floor of the dorm buildings had guys on one half, ladies on the other and often the only thing that separated them was a common room with no doors. The only security was to get into the dorms from the outside, mainly by a staffed front desk that may or may not be very alert.

        9. Garth Wallace

          At my college, the men’s dorm was just a different wing of the building as a women’s dorm, and both were connected to a wing that was coed (rooms weren’t, but halls were).

        10. 3oranges

          This isn’t Joyce’s private space, though. It’s his girlfriend’s room, in which he has historically been welcome while she is watching shows, and might even have been let in by someone. That’s hardly a great violation.

        11. Swerve

          That’s true. A bit lacking in melodrama, but I think Joyce might make up for that. (And my shanix are riding on Joyce not being too reasonable on the moment! C’mon Joyce, I need to repair my bar again! Whirl is moodier than normal!)

        12. gangler

          Didn’t say it was Joyce’s private space. It’s Dorothy’s, and “He’s historically been welcome” doesn’t mean “Just barge in on any given moment and start mocking whoever I’m hanging out with”.

          Traditionally when you’re welcome you still knock, say hi, call up and say you’re coming, or just in some way announce your presence.

          Certainly it wouldn’t be particularly noteworthy if he hadn’t just fucked himself over doing this exact same thing a few days ago. At least resolve the situation with Sal before you go starting new shit with Joyce.

        13. Kyranthewalker

          What about Dorothy’s roommate? The one with no shoes. She has let him in before.

        14. gangler

          I don’t know how big you think the room is, but I’m thinking the door’s still within earshot.

          Again, it’s established behavior for him to just mosey on into a room uninvited and lay in with the mean-spirited tomfoolery. I don’t see that we really need to be racking our brains for every possible thing that could’ve lead up to his walking in on this moment and starting with the jokes without so much as a “how do you do”, given that we know it doesn’t require any particular set of extenuating circumstances for him to do that except perhaps an open door.

        15. Marisa Mockery

          So why are people friends with him again? I’d smack someone for that behavior.

          Literally. I was pretty physical in college. Beware me with a grape…..

        16. Swerve

          @Marisa Mockery: I stand to win a lot of shanix if Joyce KOs Walky with one Punch. I’d say I’m waiting with baited breath, but I’m a robot. 😉

        17. Deathjavu

          I think he did announce his presence by saying “What is this?”, which is admittedly the correct reaction to walking in and seeing that abomination on the TV.

          I don’t think he was waiting there for the perfect moment to jump in with something, I think he just entered at the least opportune time and was shocked.

          And he hasn’t started a fight with Joyce yet. We probably get to yell at him for that next strip, but just because Walky is predictable doesn’t mean we get to lay into him for something he hasn’t done yet.

        18. gangler

          He wasn’t waiting for the perfect moment with Sal either, but that’s gonna happen periodically when this is just something you do.

          I seriously don’t get how anybody’s defending this behavior.

        19. Jen Aside

          Could be they left the door open a la “I won’t bother getting dressed until after 3p” Mary, dorms are kinda stuffy and also there’s a culture of just propping it open for people to do exactly what Walky did

        20. mistrali

          Yeah, that’s what I thought.

  18. Kernanator

    Nostalgia ain’t what it used to be.

    1. Plasma Mongoose

      That is pretty much true for me when it comes to 95%+ of the cartoons I watched during the 60s and 70s.

      1. newllend

        When I saw Invader Zim as a kid I think I didn’t grasp any of the violent stuff that I saw, or It just desensitized me to the point it didn’t faze me.

    2. Wack'd

      Ghoulardi hates nostalgia. Ghoulardi knows…

    3. JeffEpp

      Nostalgia is longing for things to go back to the way they never were.

      One of the blessings/curses of a (near) eidetic memory, is I remember things the way they were, not the way I want them to have been.

      1. begbert2

        It’s what? Really?

        I thought nostalgia was when you’re inordinately fond of things from your youth, whether or not you understand/accept that they were as dumb as you didn’t originally realize they were. For example, I’m quite fond of the G1 transformers and even the show, even though it ranged from mediocre to extremely bad, as 80s cartoons go. (And the movie ranges from horrifying to absurd!) Yes, it’s often corny and/or dumb. Doesn’t stop me from being happy every time time it’s referenced, again.

    4. Roborat

      Yup, nostalgia can be pretty nostalgic sometimes.

  19. Swerve

    By the Matrix! Did that weird mouse-human hybrid actually use a padlock to secure her lower storage space? Because let me tell you, those things can be picked with a class 4 hydrospanner. Not to mention you could cut through it with a simple shard of metal, like soft deutronium alloy being cut with a vibroblade! No, padlocks are never a solution folks. You need self-sealing stem-bolts, like the kind I used to manufacture back on Kimia! Come to think of it, I have a few stem-bolts here on the “Lost Light”, which no one seems to need. For just a few dozen shanix I could make sure that mouse-woman’s lower storage won’t be opened and rifled through without her consent, and no one will be any the wiser!

    Um, scratch that thought. I hear Captain Megs is on the warpath. (But not on Warpath. That’d be just disturbing, what with both of them and their cannon fetishes.) I wonder what Whirl’s done this time.

    1. Wack'd

      I know you’re supposed to be a Transformer but for some reason I read all that in Kevin Murphy’s “stereotypical Minnesotan” voice.

      1. Swerve

        Hey, I may be a four meter tall robot from Cybertron, but why can’t I have a mid-Western accent? Tracks speaks with a Boston “Lockjaw” accent, Jazz and Blaster speak with varying African-American accents (Jazz is more Southern, while Blaster speaks more like a resident of East New York), Optimus Prime has a Southern accent, Brainstorm has a British accent, dropping his “aitches” and “arrs”, and Drift sounds like a twelve-year old Japanese girl. 🙂

        1. Wack'd

          Oh, no, I don’t take issue with you having an accent. I take issue with you sounding exactly like Kevin Murphy when he’s pretending to have a thick accent for the sake of humor.

          I have no idea what you actually sound like, honestly.

        2. Swerve

          It’s okay! I showed up all of twice in Season Three of “The Transformers”. I got stomped on by Trypticon the first time and stuck in a Qunitesson time-loop the second, and I didn’t even get a single line of dialogue either time. That is wrong on so many levels.

        3. begbert2

          Seriously, you needed a better agent.

        4. Swerve

          I know! The truth is I was kind of counting on Cliffjumper to help me out, and then Casey Kasem quit the show!

  20. Plasma Mongoose

    This looks like the sort of show college kids would watch while experimenting with drugs for the first time.

    1. Yotomoe

      This looks like the sort of show college kids would MAKE while experimenting with drugs for the first time.

      1. newllend

        And they give a copy of it to their cinematic arts teacher who later watches it will also being high.

    2. ShaggyDonahugh

      Ah yea, those were the good days. We’d stream this right after watching “Yellow Submarine” blazed out our minds.
      Good times. Terrible nightmares.

      1. JustCheetoDust

        H.R. Pufnstuf. But that only happened because when I first started I was watching Mr. Show with Bob and David and one of the episodes I saw included a parody called “The Altered State of Drugachusetts.”

    3. Swerve

      I remember the first time someone slipped circuit boosters into my cheap distilled engex. Man, that was a nightmare. I spent hours convinced I was as fast as Blurr, then I transformed into robot mode and spent megacycles looking at Luna 2. Remember protoforms, don’t step away from your mug while you sneak off to pull a practical joke on Emirate Xaaron!

    4. Roborat

      Wait, I thought that was Adventure Time?

  21. maxyai

    I love Chastity’s chastity belt. I’m having flashbacks to Robin Hood: Men in Tights.

    1. Doctor_Who

      It’s an Everlast!

  22. Yotomoe

    I still can’t get the image of that Chastity Churchmouse fanart out of my head.

    1. newllend

      Dude I would pay you NOT to draw any of it, if I could

      1. Yotomoe

        Oh no. I didn’t draw it. Someone submitted it to willis’ tumblr like…a year ago.

        1. JustCheetoDust

          Are you referring to this?

        2. Yotomoe

          I am indeed. On that day perverse sexual lust was created.

        3. JustCheetoDust

          I wonder if those people also have perverse sexual lust for toothy blowjobs? Maybe CC can use just the side of her mouth…but that would make it look like someone photoshopped a dick into a Cigar Aficionado photo shoot.

        4. Tenn

          I had not seen that.

          I agree with Willis: magnificent and terrible.

        5. JustCheetoDust

          I like how just by plugging this comic the artist’s blog post basically became a furry advert for DoA.

  23. Opus the Poet

    That is so utterly horrifying on so many levels…

    So was this a series or did they stop at just the one live-action episode?

    1. Ridureyu

      There were many.

  24. Tom Speelman

    Not gonna lie, Walky’s entrance here deserves an old-school laugh track.

    1. Wack'd

      Perhaps a round of applause, too.

      1. Swerve

        And some whooping! There has to be some whooping from a bunch in the live studio audience! Hey, Ed O’Neill and Katey Segal could inspire whooping just be entering a scene on “Married with Children”!

        1. Tom Speelman

          Well, certain parts of Katey Segal anyway.

        2. JustCheetoDust

          There’s nothing like the time random audience members begged Al not to eat a toothpaste sandwich.

  25. K. Ivan Ruppert

    Oh, I remember the heartbreak the first time I watched something I used to love but hadn’t seen since I was, like, 8.

    It’ll be okay, Joyce. Just don’t become one of those people who swear harder that their thing was awesome.

  26. timemonkey

    Hopefully Walky won’t make her cry this time. And yay doe Dorothy being sympathetic in the face of Joyce’s disappointment.

  27. Idon'tcarenomore

    Nostalgia ain’t never what it used to be 🙂
    You can’t go home again they say.

    This is really funny. Walky’s timing is perfect. And I am so glad that Joyce actually looks embarrassed. There is hope there is indeed.

  28. Ben

    Walky’s voice… in my head… It is the voice of Red from Dick Figures (which is a hilarious youtube series everyone should look up.)

  29. The Sound Defense

    “I remembered this being better!” – the Internet, every day, about everything from their childhood.

    1. 3oranges

      Whoa whoa whoa, when did the internet move past denial?

      1. JeffEpp

        “I watched it once, 30 years ago, and it was perfect. There is no reason to watch it again, as I remember it perfectly.”

      2. JustCheetoDust

        Since when did the internet conform to the Kübler-Ross model?

    2. Kelly

      Hm, no. There are many things from my childhood that are just as good now. Two really obvious examples: Calvin and Hobbes and Loony Tunes. And I just recently rediscovered “The Mysterious Cites of Gold” and it is really good.

      1. David M Willis

        Looney Tunes doesn’t really count because they only ever showed the nonterrible ones on television anyway. A lot of stuff from our childhood would remain awesome if they were selectively edited to begin with.

      2. PoweredBySucrose

        Looney Tunes isn’t from your childhood. They’re from your great-grandparents’ adulthood. They were created to be shown in movie theaters before (or between) features, and they were intended for primarily adult audiences. They predate the whole cartoons-are-for-kids era, and that’s why so many of them aren’t appropriate for children (and many of them aren’t even appropriate for polite adults.)

      3. Yotomoe

        Ed, Edd, n Eddy holds up as the world’s best cartoon ever. If you disagree, that’s fine. You’re wrong, but that’s fine.

  30. MM

    Is it just me, or does the little boy in the first panel look like Danny? I assume it’s not him from the tags, but is that supposed to be an official indication how Danned up the show is?

    1. Heavensrun

      Not that kids hair can’t change color as they age, but aside from the fact that they’re both white males, I don’t see it.

      1. newllend

        What if it was, WAIT could you imagine, could you IMAGINE if little kid just showed up in the show? The look on Dorothy and Joyce’s faces.

        1. newllend

          Walky

  31. John Madden

    I’m pretty sure that one of the ‘Mice Boys’ is actually a girl.

    Also, LOL Walky.

    1. John Madden

      Er, wait, I didn’t look at the tags (because I’m a moron).

      I retract my first statement.

  32. Jay Eff

    I’m kinda disappointed Live Action Hymmel doesn’t have a ‘fro.
    Oh well, at least he’s got the beard!

  33. caesaria82

    Dorothy in panel 3, that’s just a friggin cute face. Adorable.

  34. Sit

    Hymmel the Humming Hymnal is a pretty shit capitalist because Unions are absolutely part of the capitalist system.

    1. Rybridge

      I am pretty sure Hymmell is played by a young Glenn Beck.

    2. begbert2

      Republican capitalism = protect the rich from the poor.

  35. caesaria82

    Man and God though. Totally a same-sex union, lbr.

    (yes, it’s the generic ‘man’ but that also includes men does it not and yes, God is more of a ‘being’ than a person, but it’s always He, is it not and now I officially killed my dumb joke with way too much shit in parentheses)

  36. Null Set

    I am convinced that this was made by Leslie’s parents. Hymmel is clearly Leslie’s dad, and maybe Chastity Churchmouse is played by her mom. (I’m still waiting for the story to confirm that Ryan is her sister)

    1. Null Set

      Er, I meant to write brother there, got subject and object confused.

  37. anonymous

    DOROTHY: This is the video that made me turn to atheism; I was testing it out on Joyce.
    WALKY: You sure this isn’t one of Joyce’s-
    JOYCE: NO!

    1. anonymous

      When you can comment half an hour after a comic is pulled up and the page is already basically full…

      …That’s amore.

      1. scabbert

        That’s Willis’ fandom, for you.

        1. Wack'd

          Aw, for me? You shouldn’t have.

  38. scabbert

    Who will be the first brave shipper to write the mouse/bible fic?

    1. Swerve

      That’s not a bible, it’s a hymnal. Hymnals are prayer books, whereas bibles are holy scriptures. It’s kind of like the difference between the Primal Prophecies (a set of religious texts considered holy scripture by the Circle of Light, among many) and the Circle’s morning meditation exercises (a form of prayer). Two totally different things.

      Also, I think she’s a mouse-human hybrid.

      1. Tom

        So you are saying that she is the reslt of said fanfic?

        1. Swerve

          Either that, or she belongs to some rodent-like species I ran into on Hedonia. Considering that those poor critters were seriously scandalized by witnessing our epic shore leave (especially what our Holomatter avatars did to Ultra Magnus while he was drunk), I wouldn’t rule out Chastity Curchmouse being a member of that species.

          (And since there are inevitably members of Willis’ fandom that don’t read “The Transformers: More Than Meets the Eye”, and who probably have rather low-brow imaginations, all we did was have our avatars jump up and down on Maggie’s body to trigger an involuntary transformation!)

  39. XMinusOne

    Humiliation, thy name is Walky.

    Now let’s all sing along “Don’t look for the union label …”

  40. Rybridge

    I love seeing Joyce go through that “it was okay when I was a kid but now it is fucked up” stage.

    1. Drunken Nordmann

      “Nostalga blinded me!”

      1. Drunken Nordmann

        And I forgot an i – great.

  41. Kamino Neko

    … ‘Or it would have been if my boyfriend had even the slightest concept of standard social graces.’

  42. rachel

    is this a brutal cut from the previous comic, or is it THE MOST BRUTAL CUT.

    it is not a question

  43. Mkvenner

    Why do I get the feeling that the Hymnal gets paid way more the mouse. That’s if the mouse even gets paid.

  44. Luzahn

    You know, I was going to say that Walky is the worst, but then I remembered that Amber is about to assault Sal. Mental issues aside, that’s probably worse.

    1. Kelly

      Nah, Walky is the best!

  45. KKoro

    Hate Prosperity Gospel (and Quiverful Movement) SO MUCH.

    It ain’t bad enough that they’re just…fucking evil, but that they claim to be Christian too while directly subverting some of the main messages of the New Testament (give your things to poor people, and chastity is totes cool).

    Gotdammit. Literally.

  46. Ridureyu

    INACCURATE.

    If this were REALLY accurate to Psalty, he would have had his face spray-painted the same color as the Bible.

    1. Arkadi

      Yes. Thank you Willis for toning this down from the original.

  47. DGR

    All I can think of is Bibleman. Oh my gosh… even as a preschooler I knew Bibleman was cheesy.

  48. Rex Hondo

    And that’s how Walky returned to the flock.

  49. Carlos

    Heeeeeeeeeres WALKY!

  50. MO

    SPOILERS: Walky actually decides not to tell anyone, as the show is so bad, just being around it would hurt Dorothy’s reputation as well. Of course, heactually DOES tell everyone by accident because come on look at the title of this friggen comic.

  51. Kelvandil

    I’m a bit disappointed that Willis dropped the “stein” from Wily Weaselstein.

    1. David

      Are you saying that this blasphemous abomination of a fundamentalist dry dream is based on something actually allowed to taint human minds?

      1. Deanatay

        Yep. http://www.psalty.com/

        1. Hegah

          O. M. G.

        2. mistrali

          You and me both. WHY?

  52. Off Colfax

    Oh gods… I remember who this Hymmel the Hymnal reminds me of…

    To my shame, I once sang along with Psalty The Singing Songbook. In public. WITHOUT having a gun held to my head.

    Forgive me. I knew not what I was doing.

  53. Doktor doktor professor

    Serious question. Can an American explain to this confused alien why (some?) Christian churches in the U.S. dislike workers’ unions? Or am I understanding this all wrong?

    1. braak

      Starting in the 1970s, economic conservative interest groups combined with Christian moral conservatives as a survival strategy, and since then have been developing justification for anti-socialist public policy couched in Biblical language.

      There’s not, so far as I’m aware, any serious argument in the bible to support anti-unionism — in fact, in the late 19th and early 20th century a lot of churches, particularly the Catholic Church, were very pro-labor and pro-union.

      1. brionl

        Short Form: Unions = Democrats, Crazy Church Types = Republicans. So, you know, mortal enemies.

      2. Swerve

        /swerve

        @braak: It started a bit earlier than that. Historically, as you mentioned, Catholics voted heavily Democratic, especially Irish and Italian Catholics. At the same time, Southerners also voted Democratic, since they associated the Republicans with the party of Lincoln. Several things changed that: Richard Nixon and his Southern Strategy brought Southerners angry about the Civil Rights Era legislation into the Republican party; legalization of contraception led to the hierarchy of the Catholic Church (Bishops and Cardinals) urging their parishioners to vote against candidates who supported contraception (and later abortion) rights; and Evangelicals, who had previously avoided politics, were courted by Reagan and other Republicans. What ended up happening is that the economic policy of the Republicans (low taxes, anti-union, anti-welfare state) remained unchanged, while the Republicans led a call to arms for a culture war in order to attract socially conservative Catholics and Evangelicals to vote against their economic interests. At the same time, socially moderate Republicans were slowly edged out of the party, and eventually so were economically moderate Republicans.

        /serious conversation

        So, heard the latest about Whirl? We’ve decided to start calling him stumpy now!

    2. Arkadi

      The Catholic Church’s social doctrine used to run along the same lines, as far as the early XXth century.

      1. Mkvenner

        It still does. It also spawn a political ideology called Christian Democracy.

  54. Bionic

    I love the padlock on the mouse’s shorts.

  55. Annika

    I still stand by my claim that veggie tales is the best religious kids show ever.

    1. Roborat

      However, that is very much like being the best hockey player in Nigeria.

      1. Annika

        Ha, I suppose so.

    2. Gadgeteer Smashwidget

      it’s like the one religious show with pretty much nothing wrong with it – it actually tries to teach kids morals rather than politics.

  56. Clif

    Damn-it Walky, did you ever hear of knocking.

    Also Joyce seems to have something here that many researchers and accademians do not — intellecual honesty.

    1. begbert2

      That or the inability to deny crap when she finds herself embarrassing herself with it to her friend.

  57. dropping.keys

    I was about to protest how Psalty is NOT that politically-agendaed, and Charity Churchmouse was selfish, not slutty, and how dare you impugn upon the shows of my childhood…

    And then I realized that I have not, in fact, seen it since I was eight, and that was, in fact, the point. Or a point, at least.

    1. Heavensrun

      Also this is -parody-.

  58. Kitschensyngk

    Many things we have fond memories of watching as a child only to look back upon them as an adult with an overwhelming feeling of disgust and embarrassment.

    Things like “Hymmel the Humming Hymnal” make me grateful my parents let me watch Monty Python when I was nine.

    1. brionl

      I probably would have never known how great a hymn “Jerusalem” is w/o Monty Python.

  59. OmegaDez

    The… padlock.
    So subtle!

    1. Axel

      At least as subtle as being named “Chastity Churchmouse”!

      1. Hegah

        Ok, *whew*. I thought I was the only one seeing the padlock….

  60. CianM1301

    Don’t worry Joyce, we all have that experience. A show we thought was amazing as a child turns out to be a bit meh when we grow up.

  61. stegosaurio

    I’m just glad the comic doesn’t come with audio. I have very unpleasant memories of Charity Churchmouse warbling “Make Me a Servant”. That was from the Kids Praise! tape about how it’s selfish to have goals and aspirations.

    1. stegosaurio

      In case anyone else would like to be traumatized as I have been.

    2. Jen Aside

      That’s such a bizarre message, given the parable of the talents.

      [is perfectly aware of the cognitive dissonance of conservative Christianity and the overarching message of Jesus]

      1. Gadgeteer Smashwidget

        I figured out a long time ago that if Jesus were to be reborn into this world today, he would be called an anti-Christian hippie by many people (in the US) who claim to worship him.

  62. peppy mint

    poor girls going through a john egbert con air moment :’)

    1. Kamino Neko

      Except in John’s case, it was more a case of his getting all teenagery (see his behavior toward Jade and DaveSprite) than simply the fact that Con Air wasn’t a good movie.

  63. Axel

    It’s kind of funny how Hymmal and Chastity’s pro-capitalism message is at odds with the original Psalty and Charity’s anti-money pro-charity message, but then it’s a different show for a different political time.

    (just kidding, it’s really easy to reconcile if you remember that workers shouldn’t be greedy and should be happy for work, while pious job-creators know how to handle the weighty responsibility of having money!)

  64. Roborat

    I almost did a spit-take when I spotted that padlock hanging off her crotch. It would sure make walking and sitting painful.

  65. Mr. Random

    It just occurred to me that Willis probably didn’t make the Hymnal guy covered in colored paint because it would make it too cartoonish for some people.

  66. SilverArrowArtemis

    Don’t you know Joyce’s secret agenda? She’s trying to coax Dorothy over to the Christian side using her favorite things! Whether or not she is complete aware of this is beyond me. /so sarcasm very untrue wow

    Question for Willis:
    What was Joe’s romp count before entering IU?

    1. John

      At least six or seven ladies.

    2. I don't know what to put here.

      Pf.
      You needn’t invoke Willis!
      I can easily speculate a reliable integer…
      …
      …
      It appears…
      It’s around 17.
      …
      THAT HE BANGED 5 GIRLS AT ONCE
      YEYEAH~

    3. Mr. Random

      It’s mot just Dorothy, but Ethan too. And Walky, to a much lesser extent. She seems to be okay with Sarah, but Religion isn’t a huge psrt of that relationship.

  67. maycroft

    you may want to say was…

  68. Ivan

    I was raised in a religiously apathetic household, so I never watched any of these cheesy Christian children’s programs, but I really hope none of them genuinely tried to conflate Christianity with capitalism. That’s just too depressingly stupid.

    1. Ridureyu

      None of them did. In fact, when they “fought” something, it was usually being prideful or giving up, or something else that’s not controversial. Gay marriage can wait for later.

  69. SuddenInconvenience

    is… is Hymnal supposed to look like he’s very closely related to Leslie or…?

    1. KingStarscream

      O_O Is that her dad?

  70. man in black

    It was safe

  71. That One Weirdo

    Oh, Walky. In retrospect, you should REALLY have just walked out the door.

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