147

Thwarting
Posted on April 2, 2019 by David M Willis
FINAL WEEK!  The Dumbing of Age Book 8 Kickstarter is still here, and there's just 7 days left to put in your pledge! This book will collect "Year Eight," spanning the four storylines that start on September 1, 2017, and complete on August 30, 2018. This includes new commentary, behind-the-scenes artwork, 24 previously Patreon-exclusive bonus strips, and new character designs into an 222-page tome with luxurious glossy paper all bound up into a sturdy presentation!

147 thoughts on “Thwarting”

  1. Ana Chronistic

    Gotta collect ’em all!

    Exémon

    1. Falcon

      This post deserves more visibility.

      1. Cryny

        This is an impossibly early Anna comment. It’s more visible than the sun at noon.

        1. Cryny

          *Ana

          Also, the sun at noon on a perfectly clear day.

    2. Claire

      Again I wish we could up vote comments.

      1. elebenty

        If we could, I’d upvote yours.

  2. ValdVin

    Physics-thwarting hair.

    1. King Daniel

      Mike’s hair defying gravity physics is now canon.

      1. Deanatay

        We always knew his hair was a wave. Now we know, it’s also a particle.

        The Mike-on – fundamental particle of hatesex.

    2. Bicycle Bill

      That must be Mike.
      And the brown-haired guy whose “too nice” must be Danny.
      Correct me if I’m wrong.

      1. ValdVin

        You got both counts.

        I half-expected Ethan to say “Danny’s too good an egg”.

        1. Zach

          I wonder when “egg” will start word filtering into people.
          Delicious

        2. Cabooceratops

          You say this and I just wonder if I missed a “Danny is an unrealized trans woman” fan theory somewhere, and if not, I immediately support it. X ]

      2. BBCC

        Got it in one!

      3. Needfuldoer

        Honestly I didn’t make that connection until reading the comments.

        Danny really is just a question mark with a cap floating over it…

    3. Tan

      Turns out physics has both a mother and a nickel.

      1. Jamie

        I laughed far too hard at this.

        1. Clif

          Same.

      2. Roborat

        Took me a few seconds to get this. You win.

  3. Kravis

    Every good collection needs at least one christian beard!

    1. ian livs

      100% of my exes were Christian beards. (To be fair, I have one singular ex.)

  4. Stephen Bierce

    *switching from Bowie to Davy Jones and the Monkees’ “Star Collector” on the hacked Muzak*

    1. Tawdry Quirks

      I interpreted the ‘collection of exes’ in a much creepier sense, à la Steven Wilson’s “Index”.

    2. UniqueSnowflake2

      David Bowie was originally named David Jones.

  5. Tacos

    But will he pose them to recreate his favorite Beast Wars scene?

  6. foamy

    Damnit Ethan.

  7. Johan

    Lol Joyce

  8. Spriteless Girl

    Oh shoot all these characters have met but not all at the same time WHAT WILL THIS COMBINATION BRING?

    1. Schpoonman

      Joyce watched Dexter and Monkey Master in Ethan’s room with Walky and occasionally Jacob back when they were “dating.”

    2. Brainstorm

      When two more Ex-bots are brought forward, they may all combine into the legendary EX-CALIBER

    3. Roborat

      Ethan Pilgrim vs the World?

  9. Foxhack

    … humbly requesting a full fourth panel to make memes with.

    And maybe one of him disliking stuff, too.

  10. J

    An entire rogues gallery of exes

    1. Schpoonman

      That’s it, that’s the plural term for an ex.

  11. DailyBrad

    Ethan the Himbo.

  12. Zach

    I would date a horrible jerk if he had magic hair.
    Running my fingers through his hair would be fascinating, and dangerous.

    1. Zach

      Not that Mike’s actually all that terrible, it’s all an act he puts on for himself.
      He’s easy to manipulate.
      Just ask Dina.

      1. Clif

        With Mike there was always the question of who was manipulation who. And why.

    2. DarkoNeko

      not sure Mike would let you do that to his hair

      1. timemonkey

        Mike would probably cut his hair specifically to make you sad you couldn’t anymore.

  13. TrueVCU

    Gotta Bang ‘Em All!

  14. DarkoNeko

    I can’t believe he can smile saying that

  15. Kyrik Michalowski

    Ethan, I’m not sure that having a collection of exes is the best thing in the world. That being said if you aren’t looking for anything serious and you tell people that when you hook up with them, then there isn’t any harm. So long as you are using protection of course.

    1. Jamie

      I mean. His protection seems to be talking about Transformers in bed. So…

    2. Roborat

      Well, as long as he doesn’t end up having seven evil exes, then meets a new boyfriend named Ramone.

  16. BBCC

    Joyce is an adorable ex! Ethan could do way worse, indeed.

    And oh god yes, thank you, no more dating Mike. Over-gelling his hair can’t make him less of a dick. That has to come from inwards. 😛

    1. Rabid Rabbit

      So… many… inwards+dick jokes to make…

      1. BBCC

        Too many to pick one, eh? 😛

        1. MatthewTheLucky

          It has to come from outwards, then inwards, then repeat for a while, than finish up by coming inwards.

        2. BBCC

          I love this comment section.

  17. Rabid Rabbit

    Ethan, if you’re counting a guy you made out once with for 45 minutes as an ex, some serious collector is going to accuse you of cheating to inflate your numbers.

    And if anyone else were to do so, that collector would be you.

    Just saying.

    1. timemonkey

      Only if they’re not properly sorted.

      1. Chris Phoenix

        Ethan’s goal: collect enough exes that he has to worry about big O notation to properly sort them.

    2. ValdVin

      What is the proper category for that? Snog? Fling?

      Is there a term to rival the wonderful-sounding (but totally inapplicable) assignation or paramour?

      1. Rabid Rabbit

        Short-term makeout? Assignation doesn’t work because they didn’t set anything up, Thad just hit on him and then they banged made out, and paramour implies a longer relationship, the way lover does.

      2. Slartibeast Button, BIA

        Bedpost notch

        1. Delicious Taffy

          If N*tch were a bedpost, he would actually be more useful.

        2. Schpoonman

          There’s something to be said for not bringing up a hated figure every time you’re given even the most oblique entrance. At this point you’re just making people talk about him again. I wasn’t thinking of the Minecraft guy and now I am. What accomplishes the goal of getting rid of him more effectively?

        3. Slartibeast Button, BIA

          Ummm, I haven’t the foggiest idea who I am supposedly bringing up here.

        4. Knayt

          You’re not bringing up anyone. Delicious Taffy is bringing up Notch, the internet mononym of the guy who made Minecraft. The term “bedpost notch” would be the oblique entrance in question.

  18. Dean

    One day a shelving unit will collapse and Ethan will be buried under a mountain of fallen exes. Will anyone hear his cries for help?

  19. sunflowerofice

    My collection is non existant as i have never had an ex due to never having a current

    1. Unusually Angry Hippie

      In that case, you lie. I did until I was 22….and it turned out sex was not nearly as enjoyable as I imagined. Kinda hyped it up too much for myself.

      1. Delicious Taffy

        You just need a Keyblade to unlock the barriers sealing your hype away.

        1. sunflowerofice

          nah i tried physical intimacy once. It wasn’t especially enjoyable.

  20. Bagge

    And thus a box popped up over Jacob’s head saying “It hurt itself in it’s confusion”.

    This is getting dangerous.

    1. ValdVin

      Does Jacob have to duck to get that sign through doorways?

  21. Kit M. Harding

    I love Jacob’s expression in that last panel. He’s just like “Well, this conversation took a *turn*.”

    1. JessWitt

      Even more so if it comes out Joyce knew Ethan was gay.

      1. ShinyNeen

        Going off this comic, he already knows.

        1. JessWitt

          Whoops I forgot. So much happens in this comic, not complaining.

        2. NelC

          It’s been a busy semester.

  22. StClair

    Recall, everyone, that Jacob is a guy who is looking for something serious and lasting.
    I think that this is definitely going to affect his opinion of Ethan.

    1. Rabid Rabbit

      Also, Jacob kinda likes Joyce (even if he’s not entirely aware of the fact), and may not have made the link between “Ethan dated Joyce” and “Ethan’s gay” yet, which has just been brought home to him and may also affect his opinion.

      On the other hand, he’s a fairly laid-back guy in most ways, particularly in “to each his own” terms, so…

      1. Thursday Violist

        “Ethan dated Joyce” + “Ethan’s gay” = Joyce is a man?!?

        1. Dana

          Don’t tell her! She’ll have an even harder time with the showers!

      2. Kinoko

        In what way did he not make that link? He said before he respected the space the two of them carved out for each other (i.e., a sexless romance). And he knows Ethan being gay was the reason for their breakup. He specifically said already that he doesn’t hold it against her. Although, he may not have known that she was trying to convert Ethan at the time.

        1. Kinoko

          Also: re, his opinion of Ethan being affected, pretty sure Jacob has already implied he doesn’t expect all of his friends to want the same things he does. A serious relationship is what he wants, personally, but he’s never told others what to do romantically unless they’re trying to snare *him*. Otherwise, how could he be friends with Joe at all?

        2. Rabid Rabbit

          You’re right. My bad, I forgot that strip. Oops.

  23. Valerie

    Damn it, Willis, either give me EthanXDanny or EthanXMike!!! Or maybe all three in some sort of poly triad would be fine, I DON’T KNOW I JUST KNOW THAT MY HEART NEEDS THIS

    1. Chris Phoenix

      Poly triad? Clinton + Elliot + Brun, please!!!

      1. fire_daws

        Stop shipping out my brother, only I’m allowed to do that and I’ve got exams this week.

        1. Miri

          Pfft, Claire, it’s called outsourcing. Outsourcing sitting your exams is immoral but outsourcing shipping your brother is… hilarious and wrong but not immoral or likely to get you kicked out of college without the qualification you’ve been studying for for years…

      2. Aislashu

        My god yes please those three! lmao

      3. ǝ snow ʍousɐ

        YES please. (Wrong comic, though)

        1. Chris Phoenix

          QC is never the wrong comic. Neither is DoA.

      4. ValdVin

        Add one more vote for this triad.

  24. Josh Spicer

    This is what us humans call a “foreshadow”, or potentially a “forewarning.”

  25. Mr D phone posting

    Ring ring calling Willis support!
    Ever since I reset my browser history a few weeks ago, whenever I try to post a comment on my main PC Browser (Firefox) the comments get flagged for moderation and never reviewed.

    Wanted to know if this was a random woops or working as Intended?

  26. Keulen

    I think Ethan should call his collection of exes the Ex-Men.

    1. BBCC

      Joyce and Amber might not appreciate that.

      1. Miri

        With the gloves and jacket Joyce can be Rogue! And Amber as Dark Phoenix would… Destroy galaxies really…

  27. Sporky

    It took me a few tries to untangle that last sentence.

  28. BenRG

    I guess the thing that really occurs to me here is that Ethan thinks Danny is ‘too good’ for him. I guess that’s worrying in a way.

    1. ShinyNeen

      Ethan Self Confidence: Improving, but not quite optimal yet.

    2. Terry

      Not so worrying. Ethan barely knows Danny. All he knows is that Danny is a nice guy with the patience to deal with Amber’s mental health issues without running away. He might have lowered self-esteem, but he also has Danny up on a pedestal. Also, he thinks Danny is straight. We know that Danny is bi-questioning, but Ethan doesn’t have that insight. So for now, he has relegated Danny to guilty crush.

      1. BBCC

        Not quite. Ethan and Danny are friends too, and Danny’s already told Ethan he has a crush – they’ve just also agreed they’re not going to do anything about it because of Amber (who he’d just broken up with at the time).

      2. thejeff

        Ethan knows Danny pretty well – better than he knows Thad or most of the other guys on the floor. And he does know Danny’s bi – they’ve talked about their mutual attraction.

    3. joyfulldreams

      TBH What I interpret ‘too good’ to mean in this context is like. He would be great to date, perhaps in fact too great to date, because that greatness would almost be a slap to the face for Amber.

      (Personally I think that’s stupid and just because she has insecurities about ‘turning her exes gay’ doesn’t mean that fear should be legitimized in literally any way because it’s a stupid thing to think and they should just date anyway. BUT W/E…THATS MY TAKE…)

  29. Bibulb

    I feel exceptionally called out by that “dust them once a decade”.
    PRIMUS STOP LOOKING AT ME LIKE THAT SAME WITH YOU UNICRON DAMNIT

  30. JessWitt

    You’re good enough for Danny, Ethan. He’s the good egg and you’re the, uh, granola.

  31. kilgaen

    Ethan is the goodest of them all. Maybe a bit too self-aware.

  32. BenRG

    Really, I think that Ethan has gone too far to the other end of the scale. I suspect that he’ll mess up badly, realise that he’s hurting both himself and others and try to work out a healthier mindset. However, as always, that will take time.

    Meanwhile, I’m looking forward to seeing what Jacob has to say about rebel!Joyce.

    1. Zaxares

      Agreed. I HAVE known people who are best described as “serial monogamists”, and are happy with their lifestyle, but from everything I’ve seen of Ethan, he’s not one of them. I really hope he doesn’t wind up internalising that sense of poor worth, because that will REALLY mess up his emotional stability down the line. :/

    2. joyfulldreams

      Personally I feel like this current stage is almost a similar thing to how Ruth is currently feeling. He’s spent so long denying this part of himself, now that’s it’s free he wants to try and make up for lost time somehow.

      That, or he is still anxious about what it means for his personal identity to be gay and to date guys, so he is avoiding attaching any kind of deep emotions or commitment to anything.

      Or, he’s just experimenting with the feeling of just being able to date guys freely?

      Or maybe all of the above???

  33. Delicious Taffy

    Joyce should dress like Squall Leonhart. I think that would be an endearing character trait.

  34. thejeff

    First time we’ve seen Jacob and Joyce since she kind of decided not to go after him. Let’s see how that decision holds up.

    1. BenRG

      It takes two to tango and I’m not sure of how strong Joyce’s resolve will be if Jacob decides to pursue a relationship with her.

      1. Bagge

        And I’m not ready to bet that much on HIS resolve when she shows up in a leather jacket.

        1. thejeff

          Jacob’s not going to overtly pursue a relationship – but he’ll likely start up with the flirting again.

        2. Bagge

          It’s not like he ever stopped.

      2. GoblinScribe

        If he decides to pursue it, there’s literally no reason for Joyce to feel bad about it (Jacob is an adult who can make his own choices), so I kinda doubt that’ll happen.

        1. thejeff

          Well, if he pursues it and hides it from Raidah, Joyce should still stay the hell away, but I can’t see Jacob doing that. If he decided to act on it, he’d break up with Raidah first.

  35. Bagge

    Please, alt-text.

    Ethan dusts his collection every weekend.

    1. Bagge

      (I didn’t actually mean that as innuendo, but here we are)

      1. Clif

        uh-huh.

    2. BenRG

      He also has long, intimate conversations with Classic G1 Bluestreak, who is the only being in this universe who understands him.

  36. Deanatay

    Ethan in panel 4… sounds a bit like… Joe.

    1. thejeff

      A bit.
      Just missing all the creepy parts.

      1. thejeff

        I mean, I guess the “collection” is a bit creepy, but it’s missing any real hint of the predatory aspect, the ratings or the focus on sex in every conversation.

  37. C.T Phipps

    I wonder if Ethan…just isn’t interested in a relationship right now.

    Or sex.

    ITS POSSIBLE.

    1. Dana

      :O

  38. ShinyNeen

    Ethan’s right- Joyce is pretty great.

  39. Miri

    Ethan’s plan appears to be to make connections with people who are awesome, snog the cute guys in that demographic, and remain friends with them all… There will be so much LITERATURE inspired…

  40. abysswatcher1993

    That is a horrible way of seeing relationships, Ethan! Like a gay Joe, or gay Charlie Sheen/Charlie Harper! There’s only loneliness and STDs from that path. I mean, I approve of monogamy and polygamy and having casual sex once in a while, but describing relationships as a collections seems so wrong!

    1. JessWitt

      Oh god, I hope Ethan uses condoms.

    2. Inahc

      ITYM polyamory. Polygamy is… Not quite the same thing.

  41. Annonymouse

    No need to dust when they are kept in a cabinet with a little fan and filter keeping the whole thing at a very moderate positive pressure relative to the local environment.

  42. RacingTurtle

    Oh, Ethan.

  43. ziggy78eog

    No, Ethan, do not do this, do not take the “Ramona Flowers” path. It will just end with 7 people who really do not like you anymore, and hooking up with an asshole. If you want to hook up with an asshole, just go back to Mike.

    1. BBCC

      Well, let’s look at Ethan’s current exes

      1) Amber – He and Amber are best friends and Amber loves him very much.

      2) Joyce – He and Joyce are still friends

      3) Danny (ex-crush, not ex as in dated) – Still friends

      4) Mike – Still friends as much as Mike is friends with anyone.

      5) Thad – Still friends.

      I think he’s doing okay.

      1. ǝ snow ʍousɐ

        There’s no shame in not looking for somehing serious, if you’re up front with that and treat the other person with respect rather than just thinking of them as a one-night stand. You can date casually or even have casual hookups without being Joe.

        1. ǝ snow ʍousɐ

          (I dunno about Ramona; I guess she just has weird taste in guys.)

        2. BBCC

          Heck, you can be respectful and have one night stand, as long as you don’t treat people like a piece of meat.

        3. ǝ snow ʍousɐ

          Right, yeah, that’s kinda what I meant. They’re more than just a one-night stand.

        4. ǝ snow ʍousɐ

          Mentally move that “just” in my first sentence from before “thinking of them” to after “as a”.

        5. ǝ snow ʍousɐ

          (Or “as”, rather. *sighs* Why no edit button? DYW!)

        6. BBCC

          If you want an edit button, you have to shell out for patreon. 😛

        7. ShinyNeen

          The current comments system is pretty janky, yeah, but if it would take a lot of effort to implement a new system then I can understand it not being something Willis wants to do. Plus I have this nagging suspicion that a new system would mean losing old comments.

        8. BBCC

          Willis tried to add an edit button to the forums but it didn’t work. So now it’s only patreon.

  44. Nenja

    Why is Danny too good? Sure, he’s a good egg, but why TOO good?

    1. BBCC

      Because Ethan has the self esteem of a walnut.

      1. ǝ snow ʍousɐ

        And hopefully Jacob says as much in the next comic. (More tactfully, of course: “Whoa, Ethan, what do you mean “too good”? You’re a great guy; don’t put yourself down like that!”

        1. ǝ snow ʍousɐ

          )

  45. Emperor Norton II

    Leave it to Jacob to turn relationships into something nerdy.

  46. Robert

    Panel #4 “Ethan is but the herald of The Great and Mighty Faz!!”

  47. Cipher

    Ethan Siegal
    My name is Ethan Siegal
    And there’s a million guys I haven’t done
    But just you wait, just you wait

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