273

Faz
Posted on February 10, 2018 by David M Willis

273 thoughts on “Faz”

  1. Ana Chronistic

    but for newcomers, it was the day they learned a certain phrase was censored in the comments due to being quoted only a billion times per Tuesday

    [test the censor’s rigidity]

    1. shadowcell

      “[test the censor’s rigidity]”

      oh myyyyyy

      1. Some1

        -… ..- – ..-. — .-. — . .. – .– .- … – ..- . … -.. .- -.–

        1. Stephen Bierce

          WESTERN UNION!

        2. Thor

          “bumforoeimwastuesday”?

        3. No Name

          I think the double dahs were converted into into m-dashes.

        4. Kamino Neko

          What’s a bumfor?

        5. Deanatay

          poopin’?

      2. Ana Chronistic

        yeah I lost a word there but w/e

      3. Liliet

        but for me, it was tuesday

        1. Liliet

          hah, now I know

  2. shadowcell

    “Faz is Great and Knows No Restrictions”

    sounds like a book title to me

    1. Arawn

      “The Faz and the Furious” sounds like a movie title to me.

      1. Abel Undercity

        2 Faz 2 Furious

        Oh Grodd, not two of him…

        1. Shade

          Like Twins but both played by Danny DeVito.

    2. Twitcher

      Uh oh. Where there’s Faz, there’s Blaine

      1. saltchocolate

        This.^

  3. jeffepp

    Oh. Great. Faz.

    1. lungora

      More like “Oh, Great Faz!”

      1. nothri

        Faz. Oh, great….

  4. Schpoonman

    I think I need to change my Gravatar to M. Bison.

    1. Stu

      “But for me… it was Tuesday.” – https://youtu.be/sjZ5I8l32CI
      As hokey as the movie overall was, that was an indisputably badass line and delivery.

      1. Dean

        The only reason that Raul Julia took that role was because he knew he was dying, and he wanted to make a movie that his grandchildren would enjoy.

        1. Ed Rhodes

          But nothing can explain; “Overdrawn At The Memory Bank!”

      2. LeslieBean4Shizzle

        Holy crap! That’s Ming-Na Wen playing Chun Li!
        … I may have to rent that movie at some point just because she’s in it.

  5. JetstreamGW

    Step-brother now, ‘eh? Not one of whatshisname’s by-blows, but instead a by-marriage acquisition?

    1. Cholma

      A bastard step-brother is still a step-brother.

      1. Cholma

        Although, I see what you’re saying. I guess, technically, he’s Amber’s half-brother, but I think the terms can be used interchangeably.

        1. Lingo

          A half-brother is blood-related, a stepbrother isn’t.

        2. Inahc

          I thought step-siblings could also be half-siblings?

        3. Kazumi

          A step-sibling is the term for a sibling gained through your parents marriage. A half-sibling is the term for a sibling gained from one of your parents boning someone else, marriage is not required.

        4. Kazumi

          Another way to look at it is half-siblings are blood related and step-siblings are easy waifu bait for manga writers.

        5. Nobody

          Ewww did you have to bring up creepy manga siblings

        6. Conuly

          Though it could be that you don’t know your stepsibling is your halfsibling.

        7. thejeff

          True. If Blaine had been having a secret affair, had Faz, and then after divorcing Stacey, married Faz’s mother, the Faz would actually be Amber’s half-brother, but she’d think he was just her step-brother.

        8. HeySo

          And, in that scenario, even if she found out the truth, Faz would still be her step-brother, as that’s a legal status whereas half-brother is a genetic one.

        9. Terry

          A half-sibling is half-related-by-blood. A step-sibling is not blood related but a step to the right (after you have done a jump to the left, of course) so that they are sibling adjacent but not quite true siblings.

        10. Geneseepaws

          I always thought that it was the Metric equivalent, of an Imperial sib.

        11. thejeff

          Get the fuck off the desk!

        12. Kamino Neko

          It’s theoretically possible to be both, but I’m pretty sure for most people, the half would trump the step when deciding how to refer to said sibling.

        13. Shade

          I guess Blaine remarried. Poor woman.

        14. Needfuldoer

          Faz, Zaph, and Rose were all Amber’s half-siblings via Blaine in Shortpacked.

          In DoA, Amber is Blaine’s only biological child, Faz is her stepbrother through Blaine’s subsequent marriage, and Zaph and Rose are unrelated to the O’Malleys (and presumably each other, but I don’t think we know for certain).

        15. UniqueSnowflake2

          Rose has a crush on Zaph, so let’s hope they’re not related.

        16. creativerealms

          That didn’t stop them in Shortpacked.

        17. Yumi

          The terms really aren’t interchangeable. Sometimes with either the descriptor will be dropped (in my experience, more common with half-siblings), but I would never refer to my half-siblings as step-siblings.

        18. thejeff

          If it was true in this case – half-brother born from an affair from an abusive father who later married the mother and it’s Faz – one might still choose the more distancing term.

    2. tirachokko

      Anything to be even less related to him than she already is

  6. Passchendaele

    Panel 1: The arc summary + audience response. *applauds*

  7. Sunny D

    I’m highly conflicted on how I feel about the return of the one and only Faz the Great

    1. Marsh Maryrose

      Question is, why is he here? During the day, in the middle of a school week?

      There is no reason to assume that Blaine is any less abusive to Faz than he is to Amber. Maybe he’s running away, and he thinks Amber is the only person who he can trust to help him.

      No matter how annoying Faz is, he is a kid with an abusive father.

      1. Inahc

        huh.

        so Willis might have found a way to make Faz more than a joke? I’m not sure whether that’d be interesting or disturbing. … it’s Faz, why not both 😛

        now I’m conflicted too.

        1. Some1

          Well in Shortpacked he managed to go from actual threat to joke to sympathetic and back to joke again to surprisingly badass at the very last moment.

        2. motorfirebox

          Soggies may be caressed by the Faz.

        3. Marsh Maryrose

          Much to my shame, I am not on Patreon, so I have no idea where Willis is going with this. And honestly it was not until tonight’s strip that this idea even crossed my mind. But…

          In the DoA world, it is established that Faz is a minor, and that Blaine is his step-father, and quite possibly still is Faz’s legal guardian, much as Clint is Howard’s legal guardian.

          So wherever the storyline goes from here, and whether or not Blaine is still in the hospital, it is quite likely that Faz, still a minor, is under the thumb of an abusive step-father.

          Unless the storyline really is over quickly. (I’d put in a smiley to indicate irony, but given the subject, that seems inappropriate.)

        4. BBCC

          If it helps, those of us on Patreon have been sworn to secrecy.

      2. Liliet

        Yep. Blaine is a piece of shit, and his abuse probably takes different forms to different kids, but… Azula was no less screwed up than Zuko, if you know what I mean.

        I do want to see a storyline of ‘the favored child escapes the abuse, too’

        1. Kinoko

          Seriously! Sometimes abuse is less obvious, but it’s still abuse. Azula and Zuko are great examples.

  8. King Daniel

    Is that line which panel three refers to still blocked?

    “But for me, it was Tuesday.”

    1. King Daniel

      Eyup, figured it still was. And with today’s comic, it’ll probably remain so for the foreseeable future.

      1. BBCC

        We got more than enough references to it with regards to Amber for the rest of forever.

      2. Some1

        https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=X8u7px_GzWQ

    2. Amazi-Stool

      So does that mean that
      Willis revoke the filter?!?

    3. MatthewTheLucky

      Hold on, I can see it.

  9. AeromechanicalAce

    So, what are Faz quarters worth in british pence?

    1. Psyme

      Given todays exchange rate, 18 pence minus whatever it costs to remove the small picture of Faz glued over Washington’s profile.

    2. DSL

      Given this takes place in Indiana, what’re they worth in Mike Pence?

      1. Kamino Neko

        … Never, ever, use the phrase ‘in Mike Pence’ again, please.

        1. Bathymetheus

          The man’s* a raving homophobe (and misogynist), so it doesn’t seem likely to occur often.

          * I use the term “man” very loosely.

          Double-entendre NOT intended. If you read it that way, that’s on you.

  10. Stephen Bierce

    I wonder what the Campus record is for dwarf tossing.

    1. jeffepp

      What ever it was, it’s about to be broken.

      1. FacelessDeviant

        I’m okay with Faz being broken.

  11. BBCC

    Oh. Great. Blaine remarried.

    *shivers*

    1. Lingo

      I’m trying to figure out the timeline of this relationship because the mind boggles. Assuming Faz is younger than Amber, and Faz is NOT secretly her half-brother (still up in the air), then that means after Blaine and Stacy broke up, he married a Korean woman who already had a teenage son (Faz)? Is he still married to her? Where is she? Why does Faz seem to hang out with Blaine so much? And how is Amber so familiar with him? Has she been forced to spend time with Blaine and Faz after the divorce? This whole story is sad.

      I know I’m making assumptions here but this is just my interpretation.

      1. jeffepp

        You know the thing we all know Blaine was doing to Amber? The thing synonymous with making kids have split personalities? Yeah, Blaine’s doing it to Faz, and Faz is into it.

        1. Mr D

          DO we KNOW that? Other than the split personality, none of the other symptom Amber has shown fit the profile of a sexually abused child.

          Emotional and even possible physical abuse, yes, sexual… I dunno.

        2. DavidMcG

          Faz is into any kind of abuse.

        3. Yet Another Laura H.

          Could we, um, not imply that a teen-aged victim of sexual molestation and abuse enjoys it and that makes them less of a person?

          I had some awful stuff happen to me at some point, as an adult, and I would really prefer it if some person leered, “Well, you probably enjoyed it,” as much as I hate the “well, you’re ugly and old, so you should have been grateful, you terrible bongo.”

          I think a sexual relationship with a person who is too young to fully consent, who enjoys it at the time, can still be horribly violating, even if you don’t personally like the victim. In fact, isn’t one of the ways that abuse trauma can manifest an off-putting personality?

          Sorry to go all SJW Snowflake on you, but… ick, guys. You’re better than that.

        4. Yet Another Laura H.

          Ugh, this off-putting personality made a partial edit in the second paragraph and now if makes no sense. Ditch it while reading, please, or read it as “I would prefer it if no-one leered, ‘Well, you probably enjoyed it, in the same way that I would have preferred that no-one said, ‘Well, you should have been grateful, because someone as old and ugly as you are isn’t going to get much action otherwise.'”

        5. Valerie

          I completely agree. It’s distasteful to say that a victim enjoys their abuse.

        6. Inahc

          the Faz jokes in general are only funny so long as you don’t think of him as a person.

          in a comic like this where the characters are much more realistic and suffer more like real people instead of cartoons, it gets much harder to maintain the necessary cognitive dissonance.

          my brain’s been wobbling on that edge of funny/not-funny the last couple of days, and man is it weird to watch your mind switch interpretations like that.

          given the storyline, I’m expecting it to end up pretty firmly in “not funny” territory soon, and while a small part of me *is* sad to lose that set of jokes, another part of me is glad to lose them, and I’m much more interested to see where this goes and stuff.

    2. Foxhack

      I’m not sure he did.

      1. Foxhack

        To clarify, considering Amber’s age, I think he might’ve cheated on Amber’s mom and conceived the kid while still married.

        1. BBCC

          He definitely cheated on Stacy, but Faz would only be a step brother if Blaine had married his mother at one point. If he’s Blaine’s then he’d be a half brother, not a step brother.

        2. Yet Another Laura H.

          Well, I used to have a step-sister who thought she was my other step-siblings’ half-sister, but found out via an eighth-grade science-class blood-typing experiment that she was actually their full sibling— and she still insisted upon saying “half-sister.” The above sentence may not make any sense (we’ve put a couple of family trees through the wood chipper), but the basic meaning is the 70’s were weird for everyone, and the more things change, possibly, the more they remain the same.

        3. CJ

          Will teachers never learn that having kids do practical reasearch when teaching genetics will put some kid and/ or their parent on the spot?

          Huh, maybe this is why fundies hate evolution and genetics;They can no longer hide their sins.

        4. Pl0x

          Hide yo sins! The science is comin for you!

        5. Clif

          Oh, no!

        6. Vulcanodon

          Happened in our family. One day my adopted son came home and asked me about blood types, because no way could he be my bio son. I adopted him when I married his mother and I agreed to (but not agreed with) her request that we not tell him. Some nonsense about him feeling the same as his brothers, which he never did. One thing blew up another and now he has not spoken to us for a decade. That is every bit as painful as it sounds. The answer, in 20/20 hindsight is of course not to avoid science (because science) but not to hide family facts.

        7. CJ

          Sorry to hear that blew up so badly on you.

          Things can be even more complicated. Because, you know, Grandfathers and things the family never knew about and stuff.
          Teaching science is one thing, doing so by asking kids to do research among their own family is a different kettle of fish. Why not keep to peas, just like Mendel?

        8. thejeff

          Someone linked up above an old Willis post that said Amber was Blaine’s only biological child.

          Do we know that Blaine cheated? I don’t recall that.

        9. BBCC

          Pretty sure when Amber was running from him down the hallway she said Blaine cheated on her mother and hit her.

        10. thejeff

          Ah. Forgotten that. I remembered the hit her part, but not the other.

        11. BBCC

          I’m gonna be honest, I wasn’t 100% sure until 2 seconds ago, when I double checked.

          Memory~

    3. Deanatay

      Faz is in his teens, and my understanding is that Blaine and Stacey(? hope I remember her name right) broke up more recently than that. I think the timeline goes like this:

      -Amber is born
      -Blaine cheats on Stacey with Faz’s mom
      -Faz is born
      -Stacey learns about Faz
      -Stacey divorces Blaine
      -Blaine remarries Faz’s mother

      1. thejeff

        Except that Amber calls him her step-brother and we don’t know that Blaine cheated with Faz’s mom. He did apparently cheat, but that connection hasn’t been made. That could have been someone else and he met and married Faz’s mom after the divorce – and more importantly, well after Faz was born.

  12. tirachokko

    Oh Great Faz, won’t you teach us the meaning of silence by example?

    1. das-g

      Faz is great and knows no restrictions, so he could do that, if we wanted. He simply chooses not to.

      1. tirachokko

        dammit.

  13. tim gueguen

    The Legend of Faz, coming March 22, 2018 on NBC.

  14. DailyBrad

    Oh no, does this mean Wen might go here?

  15. Bagge

    Faz is great and so is the sign saying Faz is great.

    1. Dave M

      a sign which he positions in such a way that it is only visible from the fourth wall, and not by the two persons in the room. That is pretty great.

  16. Keulen

    I was not expecting the M Bison reference from Faz.

    1. Emperor Norton II

      I did not expect it on a Saturday.

      1. Reltzik

        Waaaaait….

        …. if it can appear on the page….

        …. THEN THE FILTER MUST BE GONE!

      2. Reltzik

        Oh, and Saturday? I thought it was Tuesday.

        …. oh, you mean real-life date? Huh, you must be a few time zones east of me. For you it was Saturday, but for me it was Friday.

        1. Reltzik

          ….. nm, filter still works.

  17. DT

    Amber, quick, throw him into Malaya, they’ll merge into some ugly Shoggoth of terrible characterness and won’t pollute the comic anymore! 😀

    1. All-Purpose Guru

      Oh, hell no. Throw him into SARAH. All that will come out is slightly bloody hamburger and a REALLY PISSED OFF Sarah. Y’know, like normal.

  18. butts

    FAZ

  19. tim gueguen

    Quarters won’t work, Faz. Amber’s much stronger than you think.

    1. Deanatay

      At least Amber’s found a healthy outlet for her rage-induced violent streaks…

    2. Sensei Le Roof

      Oh. Duh. I was thinking “what, for the arcade or something?”

  20. laladoria

    How many of the girls are going to be hit on before Faz actually leaves?

    And on the same note, how many times will Faz BE hit?

    1. Reltzik

      …. okay, I wanna see Faz and Sarah interact now.

      1. Reltzik

        Also, Faz and Ruth.

        … and maybe Faz and Rachel.

        1. Kazumi

          Faz and Mary, I want to see if even he has standards.

        2. laladoria

          Faz and Mike?

          They got along soooooo well in Shortpacked!, after all.

        3. MatthewTheLucky

          Compared to Mike’s other relationships they were actually pretty chummy.

    2. Wizard

      I’m guessing the two numbers will be similar, if not the same.

      1. laladoria

        I thought so too, but I’m quite fond of the idea of him being hit MORE than doing the hitting (on).

    3. Needfuldoer

      How many ladies are there in the cast?

      See previous answer.

  21. Zaidyer

    For all Faz’s bluster, I’m betting he’s here by himself because Blaine is still in the hospital and he doesn’t know what else to do. The kid probably hasn’t eaten in days.

    Oh crap. Do you think “Faz is great” means Blaine screwed him up? Did Blaine just tell this kid he’s worthless over and over and over, and now he’s got this insufferable personality as some kind of defense mechanism run amok?

    1. Lingo

      Wow this just gets sadder and sadder. I prefer to continue thinking Faz is just a twerp.

      1. Opus the Poet

        Gotta look on the bright side. Keep it funny side up.

    2. Bladeglory

      I think it might actually be worse than that. Blaine might still focus Amber with his abuse, even though she’s no longer in his life.

      When Faz screws up, he may be treated to a story about how he’s still better than Amber. When Faz gets pep talks, he’s told about how much of a disappointment Amber is. No matter how badly Faz disappoints him, Faz is still not as bad as Amber.

      While this is nice for Faz as he escapes Blaine’s direct ire, it means he’s equally fucked up in the confidence department. He’s subconsciously aware that Blaine could easily become just as verbally abusive to Faz, and so he has to maintain the perception that he’s better than others. Or at the very least, Amber.

      (Note: I’m just completely theorycrafting, both plot and abusive father-wise)

      1. TERRY

        Actually, I interpreted the interaction in a much more simplified way: Blaine is a misogynist and treats women terribly but treats his “son” as though he can do no wrong. I had a neighbor once who did this. He had two kids: a girl who was older and the younger son. The son always sat in the front passenger seat while the mom and the daughter sat in the back. The son (who is younger, remember) got to stay up later than his sister, etc. It was really uncomfortable to witness.

        1. Peter

          I’m not sure this dynamic would apply — given that Willis has confirmed that Faz is not Blaine’s biological son.

        2. Terry

          I think it could still work. Faz is the son that Blaine wanted but never had. It’s the old movie trope of a guy who has a son who just isn’t that manly (likes comics instead of sports, etc.) and starts spending time with a kid of the same age who becomes a surrogate son. In this same way Faz, who is still his son if not by blood, gets preferential treatment for the express reason that he meets Blaine’s expectations by virtue of being male.

    3. Kamino Neko

      Faz was certainly screwed up before Blaine got to him. This is not the result of a well adjusted person being under the influence of an asshole for a couple years.

      1. thejeff

        Yeah, I was just thinking that. We’re not sure how long ago Blaine and Stacey divorced or when Blaine remarried, but it was definitely after the robbery incident. Which puts Blaine’s influence on Faz 4 or 5 years at most. Even with Faz being a few years younger than Amber, someone well-adjusted wouldn’t have become this.
        I’m sure Blaine didn’t help, of course.

        1. Kamino Neko

          Yeah, a good stepdad would have tried to help him become less…fazzy.

          But he got Blaine…so…

      2. Deanatay

        There’s a worse aspect to consider: everyone assumes that Amber’s rage and mental issues are due entirely to her father’s treatment of her. But what if growing up with Faz was also a component?

        1. thejeff

          Well, it’s unlikely she knew Faz before the divorce, even if Faz is Blaine’s kid, so it would probably be a small component.

  22. Reltzik

    No, Becky! No! You spoke to him directly! HE SHALL NOW CRUSH ON AND STALK YOU FOREVER!

    1. NickG

      Back in the Walkyverse Faz said that he wouldn’t pursue Amber if she was a lesbian, perhaps the same would hold true with regard to Becky.

  23. Keulen

    I kinda wondering how old Faz is in the Dumbiverse. Is he a freshman in a different college, or is he still in high school?

    1. Some1

      Pretty sure he is in high school. If he was in college he could just claim he doesn’t have class.

      1. Bathymetheus

        I haven’t read Shortpacked! yet, but based on the comments, a lot of people seem to think he has no class.

        I surmise that he would say he is in a class of his own.

        1. wwwhhattt

          *claps*

    2. Bagge

      I’ve always assumed he is in high school, but now when you mention it I don’t know if it has been stated explicitly.

    3. BBCC

      He’s 17 and since Amber mentions class periods, I’m guessing high school.

      1. Jason

        I had it in my head that he was 15 for some strange reason. It seems odd that he refers to himself as not being fully grown at 17- or it is to me, anyway.

        1. No Name

          I’ve had it in my head that he was 13 for some reason.

        2. tyersome

          Consensus — Faz is an odd number.

        3. Sensei Le Roof

          “Odd” is right.

        4. Bagge

          I’ve also said 15, but now I start to wonder. I’m starting to fear that I have given him the Dina treatment.

          “Oh, that Faz is strange and small. He must be a child.”

        5. Lingo

          “Strange and small” describes half the cast.

  24. pjeseb

    Faz: “Yes, the day Faz chose to grace your campus is the greatest day of your life. But for Faz, it was glurk—“

    DMW: No.

  25. BSUGrad

    IU has terrible security.

    1. Bagge

      Well, normally they rely on just feeding trespasser to Ruth, but now when that’s off the table things are less well ordered.

      1. Opus the Poet

        Ruth picked a terrible time to go low-meat.

    2. Marsh Maryrose

      I’m guessing this fictional version of an IU dorm has pretty normal security. Unless you are willing to drastically reduce accessibility, perfect intrusion prevention is a pipe dream.

    3. thejeff

      I know. Becky managed to break in.

  26. JessWitt

    Oh Faz, who art a moron.
    Horrifying be thy name.

  27. Foxhack

    But for me, it’s FRIDAY, FRIDAY, GOTTA GET SMASHED ON FRIDAY

  28. Tacos

    And then Amber chucks Faz out a window.

  29. Nick Piers

    Sometimes, life comes at you Faz.

  30. foamy

    I question the biomechanics of that lift

    1. Arawn

      We all know Faz is full of hot air and thus is lighter than normal meat-bags.

    2. laladoria

      Well, Amazi-Girl DID lift Billie a while back. I’m sure she’s gotten stronger since then, and Faz is likely lighter than Billie.

      1. foamy

        It’s not a question of strength so much as balance. I’m not sure what’s either keeping Faz from falling in front of her (both of her hands seem to be behind him) or her from falling forward since it looks like she’s got Faz way in front of her. Wish I could see the foot placement…

        1. thejeff

          Nowhere near as bad as Carla carrying Billie off to Ruth’s room, in front of her, at arms length.

        2. Fart Captor

          It’s inertia keeping him from falling. Remember that Amber isn’t standing still. Given that she was inside her room in the previous panel, she’s probably moving rather quickly, and as a result she wouldn’t need to support him from as low of an angle as she would if she were standing still.

        3. foamy

          I thought of that but it only works if she’s either accelerating like crazy or is already going so fast she needs to brace Faz against wind resistance :p

          Honestly the whole stance and hand position stuff looks to me more like she’s in the middle of throwing him than carrying them.

        4. Bathymetheus

          Well, yeah. This pose would definitely be unstable if static. I take that to mean we should interpret it as dynamic, with a bit (or a lot) of comic exaggeration.

  31. CapedLuigisYoshi

    *reads the hovertext*

    Oh, if only.

  32. kitty

    here is kitty’s finnish word of the day!

    brenkku (booze)

    is slang for any alcohol. break stereotypes I don’t drink at all

    have a nice day!

    1. kitty

      i think once here i said implied i did in response to kalsarikännit (underwear drinking) but i was joking. i am the valehtelija (liar)

      1. Kazumi

        Great, now I have to go search for what “underwear drinking” is.

        1. Peter

          It means exactly what it says on the tin.

    2. Liliet

      nice!

  33. Delicious Taffy

    I haven’t read Shortpacked!, so watching the intense reactions to Faz is fantastic.

    1. Some1

      I have read Shortpacked! and watching the intense reactions to Faz is still fantastic. Some people just get really emotional about fictional characters, to the point where it’s probably unhealthy.

      1. Marsh Maryrose

        One can sternly pass judgment on fictional characters in a way that one might feel uncomfortable doing with people in one’s own life.

        1. Peter

          Well, as for myself, I am equally comfortable passing judgment on fictional and real-life persons.

  34. EvilMidnightLurker

    …when he was (legally) an adult, it was hard to classify him. But teenage Faz?

    He’s a goddamn chuuni.

    1. Emperor Norton II

      “Asshole” is a classification.

  35. Shiro

    “Bye, Faz” ah yes, most satisfying panel of the comic so far

    1. Emperor Norton II

      Instead of making the usual “But what about [This panel, with link]?” reply that you’re sure to get a lot of, I’ll just agree and say it was -very- satisfying. If I’d been a smoker, I’d need a cigarette right now.

    2. Fart Captor

      Amber’s expression in that panel is great

      1. ValdVin

        All her grimaces today are spot on. Nice to see she is in a position to take care of one piece of trouble with her Amazi-strength.

  36. Kazumi

    But for me it was a [REDACTED]

  37. Plasma Mongoose

    Remember to place him in the organic waste bin.

    1. Emperor Norton II

      He’s Blaine’s son. You really think he’s organic?

      1. Emperor Norton II

        Just noting that I have now found out that in the DoA universe, he’s not Blaine’s son. So that killed the joke.

        (Waldorf: As far as I can tell, that was a mercy killing!
        Waldorf and Statler laughs together)

    2. Geneseepaws

      Bio-toxins go in the special container.

  38. ValdVin

    And i thought the last exit he made, after Dina tied him, was untoppable.

  39. BenRG

    Faz, for future reference, this would have gone better if you’d given Amber the real reason for your visit rather than wasting time parading your ego.

    I find myself wondering if Becky has decided that Faz is the ‘cute incontinent puppy’ character type and she feels sorry for him. That’s always dangerous when dealing with a personality with such a complete lack of self-awareness like him.

    1. Reltzik

      …. so we’re assuming that Faz’s real purpose for visiting is something other than parading his ego?

      1. BenRG

        Given that the title suggests that he is the viewpoint character for this chapter? Yes, I have to assume that, as unilkely as it may seem to fans of Shortpacked!

        1. Reltzik

          …. Hmmmm. He might be having housing issues if Blaine is in prison for, well, kidnapping.

        2. thejeff

          1) That’s not Blaine.
          2) One assumes he has a mother. Whom Blaine married. Thus step-brother.

        3. Reltzik

          Actually, Blaine DID kidnap Danny.

          …. though I guess that he and Amber didn’t press charges, so okay.

        4. Kamino Neko

          The title only suggests he’s going to be a major point.

          Protagonist, antagonist, non-present source of angst and/or annoyance…all are perfectly valid reasons for him to be in the title.

  40. Bagge

    “Dear step-sister, The reason for my visit is that I have been thrown out from my school due to my sexual identity not conforming to standard norms, and also my father (who is an evil man) threatens me with horrible consequences”

    Like… I HOPE that’s not where this is going, but IF it turns out to be a parallell to Becky it would be heck of a story, especially since Becky is here right now to serve as a visual reminder.

    It would also be a neat parallell to Howard (with Amber as his Ruth).

    …and it wouldn’t be THAT out of character for Blaine to be horrible towards Faz, and Faz to seek refuge with the one person he knows can stand up to him.

    Please don’t let that be the story… I like just fine to dislike Faz…

    1. Liliet

      oh god I want this to happen

    2. Eldritch Gentleman

      “And my sexuality that people cannot accept is that… I am Fazsexual. No person can appreciate Faz like Faz.”

    3. thejeff

      The problem with that storyline is that I can’t see what to do with Faz once you make him sympathetic.

      I’d also much rather it wasn’t quite so close a parallel to Becky. There’s no need for Faz’s sexuality to play into it. Blaine’s abuse would be sufficient.

      1. Sunny

        It’s possible for a character to be unsympathetic AND a victim. Imagine the anguish among the readership, fully aware that they should feel sorry for Faz (who is great) but finding it so bloody difficult to do so on account of how he behaves. The wailing and gnashing of teeth would echo throughout the internet for weeks or month to come. Willis will have more of his readers’ tears than even he can drink.

        Maybe he’s planning to nourish his offspring with them so they will grow strong upon our despair.

  41. Teddae

    @alt text: is it? Is it really?

    1. Peter

      We may devoutly hope so.

  42. NinjaNick

    Bye, Felicia.

  43. Inspector whatevsman

    And not a single tear was shed that day

  44. Adj

    This may be a minority opinion, but I hate Faz.

    Not like others do, in an “oh, you!” sort of way.

    I hate him in a “This is such an unbelievable parody of a human being that is actively taking time away from the characters I’d much rather see, and I don’t get what he adds to the story” sort of way.

    I mean, I hate Mary too, but she adds to the story, and is believable. As this is my first real exposure to any incarnation of the Walkyverse, I have no attachment to a previous version of Faz. To me, he’s just “The Poochie” (look it up on TVTropes) and he can’t get written out soon enough.

    Sorry, I just had to get that off my chest.

    1. Kamino Neko

      *sees claim that Faz is unrealistic*

      *looks at White House*

      Hmm…

      1. Deanatay

        “The Great Faz’s arc in this comic is going to be AMAZING. The best comic arc ever. You’re all going to love it, it will be the best thing. I’m gonna grab ’em all by the p***y!”

        1. Emperor Norton II

          Willis: “Damn, another of my characters are basically just a caricature of Trump now.”

    2. sirconanad

      The Great Faz can never be written out, as he is the very soul of this comic, the heart and coins that make up the gorey undertones of webcomic proportion, the light that removes the darkness from the world.

      The Great Faz is always with us.

      1. Emperor Norton II

        You really think this?

        FOOL! That will be your downfall!

    3. King Daniel

      “First real exposure to any incarnation of the Walkyverse”…technically, nearly every character in this comic originates from the Walkyverse – heck, stuff like Joyce’s fundamentalism or Joe’s quest to fuck every “hot” woman on campus was straight-up lifted from Roomies!.

  45. smarties

    I hope this is the end of the storyline. Faz is just obnoxious and doesn’t really contribute anything fun when he’s around.

    1. Charlie Spencer

      “That was a quick storyline.”

      One can only hope.

  46. Eldritch Gentleman

    Is she going to throw him into the dumpster? Please tell me she is going to throw him into the dumpster.

    1. BenRG

      That’s too nice; she’s going to throw him out of the window of the common room. The only reason she isn’t throwing him out of her dorm window is she doesn’t want the police to trace his corpse back to her.

      1. Eldritch Gentleman

        Who knows, maybe Faz is a Harem Protag-grade person, all but indestructible and with quick healing ability.

  47. Yossarianduck

    WHAT IF FAZ WERE ONE OF US?
    JUST A SLOB LIKE ONE OF US?

    1. Deanatay

      Just a jerkwad on the bus
      Tied up and on his way home

  48. Stoodmuffin

    Yes faz should

  49. Abel Undercity

    Always dispose of your Fazzes quickly, before they have a chance to spread.

  50. Danni

    im happy this storyline ended so fast

    1. Edward Starsmith

      Absence of Faz lifts all spirits. Let’s hope he stays gone.

      1. Eldritch Gentleman

        Maybe we could get a package deal. Tie him and Mary up with bubble wrap and ship them to Abu-Dhabi

  51. Liliet

    welp Faz is kinda cute

    1. Edward Starsmith

      You should raise your standards. You deserve better.

      1. sirconanad

        We all deserve the Great Faz, and the Great Faz is in all our hearts.

      2. Liliet

        I deserve better AND I deserve to enjoy Faz, because he is Great

  52. Eldritch Gentleman

    I wonder if Becky would bay for his blood if she knew that he tried to “seduce” Dina.

    1. BenRG

      She’d be more likely to ask for a few pointers.

      1. Eldritch Gentleman

        *shudders at the thought* Nothing good would come out of that.

  53. Sol Karas

    Y’know, everyone’s hoping that this doesn’t spell the return of Blaine, but I kinda want him to return and run into Mike. Rectify the fact that Mike never got to do anything to him in Shortpacked! (Besides flip him off at his funeral).

  54. Ender

    Street Fighter reference made my day.

  55. DarkoNeko

    Is that a roll of quarters or are you really happy to see me ?

  56. Drakkin the Alien

    Let me be sincere. Faz is the least likeable thing in all of Willis work. When he appeared in SP it seemed to me that it was a racist profiling of an inmigrant stealing “an honest american guy´s job”, etc, and then compounded it by relating him with Blaine. (i know that Willis was mean with each and every character in the rooster)
    ( I had a fanfiction of GREAT FAZ where it was Mike who sold him a faulty “realtime translator” that turned the cultivated korean speech of FAZ in the broken english sexist words we read in the panels. )
    Now he appears in DoA, unable to communicate properly with individuals and failing to integrate himself in society. Maybe he is a borderline autistic himself too, not just a walking talking dick?

    1. Liliet

      “Maybe he is a borderline autistic himself too, not just a walking talking dick?”

      That’s the assumption I was going with
      like yeah he objectively acts like an asshole
      but he is also VERY oblivious to this and like? im 90% sure theres Stuff preventing him from realizing that

  57. Nenja

    That tiny sign tho. He’s prepared to show people how great he is.

    1. adjudicus

      Imagine his thought process when he decided to make the sign.

      “Hmm…Although the Great Faz’s amazing and magnificent greatness is clearly visible to all, Faz will make a sign informing those who are not able to comprehend the Great Faz’s magnificence of Faz’s superiority over them. Faz does this out of the bottom of his heart.”

    2. DarkoNeko

      At least he didn’t bring charts and graphs this time

      1. Bicycle Bill

        He did. Amber just didn’t give him time enough to get to them.

  58. Nameless_Steve

    He’s in and out, like Jazzy Jeff. Fazzy Jeff.

  59. Vulcanodon

    Last time someone showed up unexpected and missing school, she turned out to be homeless, kicked out, pursued by evil father. Just as a thought exercise since Faz appears kind of unpopular, what would a redemption path be for Faz?

  60. Sensei Le Roof

    Oh my god! It was Tuesday!

    …

    Faz is about to become great street pizza.

  61. Deanatay

    Completely off the storyline, this short fanfic came to me this morning:

    C: Um… my name’s Connie. What’s yours?
    T: I.. It’s… Ty.
    C: Ty? That’s a nice name!
    T: It’s… short for ‘Tyrant’.
    C: *eyes go wide* Tyrant?
    T: *pathetically* Yep. Tyrant Yus. See, my mom’s an evil megalomaniac who’s trying to take over the world with a chain of auto parts stores.
    C: REALLY?
    T: Yeah, it’s the dumbest thing ever. I.. it’s OK if you laugh. Everyone laughs.
    C: … My name’s short for ‘Conquest’. My dad’s an evil megalomaniac who’s trying to take over the world with a pizza shop, and he didn’t even GIVE me a last name! *breaks into tears*
    T: Oh, Connie, I’m so sorry! Do you…
    *Connie blinks through tears* I’m sorry, I…
    T: Do you… want to form an alliance to bring down both our parents?
    C: …And rule over their empires side-by-side?
    *Ty nods*
    C: Oh, yes! OH YES!!
    *passionate embrace*

    1. Abel Undercity

      Connie and Ty are my new heroes.

  62. Josh Spicer

    A part of me…actually, all of me, really wishes Amber treated Faz this easily in Shortpacked.

  63. Cerberus

    Comic Reactions: Recovering Head Wound Edition

    It’s impressive how fast Becky’s mask snaps back on when there are others around. Like, she was in some nasty self-doubt and here comes the Douchemaster General to exploit those self-doubts and she just waves at him as he’s carried away and is in full Becky polite mode.

    It also means Amber is someone she feels safe breaking down in front of, which is something she’s only really previously shown with Joyce, Joyce’s dad, and Dina. And that’s kind of beautiful.

    1. Bagge

      Even if it confuses Amber no end, it’s impressive how many people feel safe taking of their mask (ironically…) in front of her. Dina, Becky, Walky…

    2. thejeff

      Nice observation.

    3. Fart Captor

      I wasn’t sure if it was Becky actually feeling comfortable with Amber, or just relaxing her guard in general, but you make a good point. If they end up on any sort of friendly terms that would be amazing.

      Also, I hope your head feels better soon!

    4. Emperor Norton II

      Lemme guess, your brain tried to escape out your ear because of someone (probably the “president” saying something extremely cruel and stupid.

  64. davidbreslin101

    Faz, to really convey your awesomeness, you need to speak about yourslef in the third person and also in Latin. Magna est Faz et praevalebit… sic transit gloria Faz.

    1. wwwhhattt

      Sed quis Faz ipsos Faziet?

      1. wwwhhattt

        *ipsum

    2. foamy

      Ultima ratio ambar.

  65. vlademir1

    Yeah… I guess October is about the time of year when campus visits start happening…

  66. hof1991

    Faz gets an extra large and special font for his name when introduced, just like any superhero. Or Amber is yelling at him.

  67. Jeezy Creezy

    Faz’s willingness to carry quarters shows a lack of dedication to fazcoin, the currency of tommorow.He should be carrying hard drives full of glorious fazcoin

  68. JoeHow

    Introducing a new sport, competitive Faz tossing!

  69. Andrew_C

    I hope Faz’s presence doesn’t indicate that Blaine in near.

  70. smooti

    Ah, step, not half in this universe? Also it kind of weirds me out at Ambers lack of concern about Faz still living with Blaine. Like I get that he’s … Faz, but Blaines a known abuser?

  71. NelC

    A roll of quarters are not going to help you, Faz. Not against Amber’s Amazi-Girl muscles.

    1. Bicycle Bill

      Nickels are much more useful (just ask Mike), and rolls of them will also add the weight you seek.

  72. Inahc

    completely OT: I’m in the middle of watching a short anime called Anohana. OMG so many feels. I can’t watch any of it without crying.
    …although I’m a bit concerned about the way episode 4 ended – I hope this doesn’t head into bad-trope territory.

    1. Frost Magi

      Honey… if your emotions aren’t ready… kinda like mine weren’t when I binged all of Anohana and the movies in one day… don’t finish it. It’s so heart-wrenching that I just can’t

  73. Paul F

    I didn’t like Faz before, but the sign makes a persuasive argument.

  74. Frost Magi

    Thank you so much Amber… remove him

  75. Amazi-Stool

    Oh my Cheese, I called it!

    most important day of your life (yada, yada)

  76. Nope

    I’ll admit I’m surprised Amber is so surprised he isn’t at home, favored child or not I can’t imagine wanting to be at home often when you live with Ambers dad.

    Also if this is going to lead to annoying sibling/annoyed sibling dynamics I think I am in for a lot of fun, that shit is hilarious.

  77. ischemgeek

    If Faz is here, that means Blaine is here.

    Faz is annoying, but he’s annoying in the “group of middle schoolers who have no idea what to do with their junk yet but want to make sure everyone else doesn’t realize it and so engage in ever-more over the top and implausible bragging with each other.” kind of way. Like, “go away, kid, and come back when you know how to carry on a conversation for more than 20 minutes without mentioning sex.”

    What makes me worried when I see Faz is that where Faz goes, Blaine is sure to follow.

    1. thejeff

      No, that’s Howard. Faz is that, but creepy.

  78. Jhon

    Faz is not as great as he’d like us to think, as shown by this chart.

  79. David DeLaney

    I, for one, WELCOME our new Tuesday-derived overlord!

    –Dave, we have these interrogation methods we need to quality test, you see

  80. PB

    STREET FIGHTER

    That is all.

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