203

Loosen
Posted on September 20, 2015 by David M Willis

203 thoughts on “Loosen”

  1. Ana Chronistic

    “You still… punched the closet when I couldn’t get out?”

    1. Ana Chronistic

      “also, can I borrow that fucking robot?”

      …

      “is that an adjective or verb usage btw”

      1. Dedlok

        Yes.

      2. Inkblot

        Amber is jelly

      3. LordMelvin

        Gerund.

        1. ə snow ʍouse

          Yeah, they should have said “gerund or intensifier?”
          But of course it’s a gerund. It’s some sort of sex-toy Transformer.

        2. Ana Chronistic

          Some time ago, a book making fun of grammar errors made me recant being a “Grammar Nazi”, so I may be forgetting things on purpose at this point.

          (also most of my grammar mindfulness is through context and preference anyway vs. MLA standards or that)

          ((also somebody’s post about “Grammar Nazi” being super-offensive))

        3. Ana Chronistic

          (this wasn’t like Engrish.com or even a funny book, but a malicious sort of “NEENER NEENER YOU MADE A MISTAKE” book and I’m super surprised it was both printed and somewhat highly reviewed, because it read like a teacher making fun of third-graders’ homework mistakes)

        4. Badeyes

          Have to leave this here…
          http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8Gv0H-vPoDc

        5. Li

          …Weird Al “Blurred Lines” parody just makes me kind of mad to hear that tune, tbh.

          Anyway I’m with Ana on this. Used to be a pedant, realized that that was not only mean but inherently racist and classist. Especially if it’s lording “proper” English over like AAVE, which is literally a more difficult and complicated form of English and not in any way inferior.

      4. Ghola

        If it’s skylynx… anything’s a dildo if you’re brave enough..

    2. AgentKeen

      “You banged loudly on the door and left little indents. You owe me for a new closet door, by the way.”

      1. Disloyal Subject

        Banging loudly on the door?
        Now I want Amber to pin Danny to a door and have her way with him while Ethan is, unbeknownst to her, stuck in the next room with no exit save for the door she’s obstructing.

        1. Screwball

          That would be an interesting scenario. Would Ethan be interested in the fact a bi guy is doing sexy-stuff just on the other side, weirded out by the fact the girl HE almost did sexy-stuff with is doing it on the other side, or turned off by the fact he’s stuck in the next room with no other way out…

      2. DarkoNeko

        Carla had a similar complain a while back.

    3. Ryan

      You oiled the hinges.

      1. gkheyf

        in the hotel room after prom

  2. Mada

    Plot twist: It’s not fucking Sky Lynx.

    1. airyu

      Or it’s literally fucking sky lynx. It’s a brand of collab toys between hasbro and whatever the dummiverse’s version of slipshine is.

      1. Resident SnipeFish

        Judging by the fact that Hasbro made Equestria Girls based on what they saw in brony fan art, I wouldn’t be surprised if it came to that eventually.

        1. begbert

          Is that an actual fact, or just something you made up to help pretend Equestria Girls is worse than it is? Because I’m pretty sure they didn’t mention brony fan art (porn) as inspiration in the movies’ commentaries.

        2. Hijean

          I believe that equestria girls isn’t a direct result of porn, but basically “well people seem to want human ponies, let’s make humans ponies so that money”

        3. Insanenoodlyguy

          “And then they can draw even MORE porn!” (they did)

        4. Plasma Mongoose

          Just the way nature intended.

        5. MrZombieScordo

          not all brony fan art is porn, not even a majority.

      2. m2iCodeJockey

        “The Sky Lynx Ultra-Vibe with reciprocating head. Your hoo-ha will forget those Hello-Kitty brand toys ever existed. New from Acme Johnsons…”

  3. liahansen

    of COURSE ethan gets none! it’s his fault he was still in the closet in the first place after all!

    1. Plasma Mongoose

      Closets are for storing clothes and dimensional gateways not people.

      1. Time Sage

        And skeletons, can’t forget skeletons

        1. Plasma Mongoose

          The skeletons are the remains of gay people who locked themselves in too long.

        2. Disloyal Subject

          Well, that’s depressing. I figured they were folks who talked back to Ruth one time too many.

          Also, I momentarily mistook fem!Cap for Wolfgang Mittermeyer.

        3. Plasma Mongoose

          GIS shows me why you might have made that assumption.
          ^_^

        4. leoatrox

          Ruth doesn’t have entire skeletons in her closet, just piles of bloody demure.

        5. leoatrox

          *Femurs

        6. Hijean

          Nah. She had to move them to fit in more bottles between midnight runs to the bin

        7. brionl

          https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=L9TihfWOcaw

      2. Dragon_Nataku

        … is that a Chrono Trigger reference? Like how they went through a portal and ended up in someone’s closet…

        (my site is down otherwise I’d link a screenie)

        1. Spencer

          “Did you just come out of the closet?!” – The best line ever, sadly excised from the DS port.

        2. Regalli

          … My esteem for the DS port has just gone down a bit for losing that one. DAMN YOU DS PORT FOR REMOVING INNUENDOS!

        3. Spencer

          They also took out Frog’s tendency to speaketh in a ye olden knightly fashion.

        4. Screwball

          I hear it could also be a “The Lion, The witch & The Wardrobe” reference…

        5. Plasma Mongoose

          That’s the reference I was thinking of.

    2. Randomguy

      Ethan totally doesn’t get credit. Amber spent a whole summer crowbaring his ass out of the closet, only for him to dive back in as soon as she turned her back for five minutes.

      Geez, it really says something about this comic that Ethan isn’t the character most intent on making himself miserable.

      1. hikaru

        it is not okay to force someone out of the closet if they dont want to be

        im interpreting their backstory being less that and more her just *helping* him come out, but beyond that, it isnt actually her business at all.

        1. Lord Stoneheart

          I was under the impression that Ethan came out of the closet on his own back in high school. And he got loads of shit from pretty much everyone for doing so. And Amber stood up for him. (And may have been the only person to stand up for him seeing how wonderful his parents are). I don’t think she actually outed him to people.

        2. L!ghtn!ng

          That’s how I had envisioned it as well, but the last few days’ comics have me wondering how it did go down. Ethan came out to Amber first, on Prom Night, right? That was his choice, but I’m starting to wonder if he came out to his family and the rest of school by choice or by Amber’s firm suggestion. I don’t think Amber would have outed him behind his back, but I could envision her saying “You need to tell your parents. Let’s go to your house together, right now, and tell them. I will go with you and support you.” She probably thought she was being supportive, but if Ethan wasn’t ready to be out this his family and/or to the whole school, then she should have given him space and time to make that decision for himself.

          Again, this is all speculation and it could easily be as Amber described it, with Ethan making the choice to come out and Amber being his only supporter. But, the more I see is Amazi-Girl and Amber’s black-and-white mentality (see: her reaction to Danny’s drinking at Joyce’s party), the more I wonder if Ethan’s memory of that summer differs from Amber’s telling of it.

        3. MrZombieScordo

          I’m thinking that if amber forced the issue, it was less her black and white mentality, and more her being hurt. He’s gay enough that he can’t truly love her, but he’s not gay enough to tell other people? It’s been shown that that him turning her down really hurt her.

        4. Lamia

          Hear, hear! I was getting a little worried by all these people who thought that Ethan being more or less manipulated into coming out had “done the right thing”. It might work out good for him in the end, but we’ve seen the result, in comic, of coming out when the time isn’t right – Becky. I just hope Ethan has the support that’s needed (which he seems to) to be safe, and that outing him won’t go horribly wrong.

          And yes, this should be his victory, not Amber’s. Much as I love her, she’s wrong in this regard.

        5. barefootbiker

          I don’t know that any time would be more “right” for Becky to come out. Dickish toe-creatures are not known for changing their habits.

        6. MrZombieScordo

          I think she knows that. I don’t believe she wants to try and take credit for it, but it hurts being replaced/un-needed. She was his best friend/love interest, and for somebody else to be able to help him when she couldn’t sucks.

  4. JessWitt

    You wouldn’t have wanted to be at THAT meetup anyway, Amber.

  5. HorchataShake

    Amber, you can’t be fucking territorial of someone’s sexuality.

    Oh wait, you’re a huge nutcase so I guess you can be. >:(

    1. Io

      And that’s going to make the aftermath of Danny and Ethan boning SUPER hilarious 😀

    2. AgentKeen

      I mean, she did basically lose her best friend for a bit there because he was so set on going back into the closet (facilitated by Joyce). Yeah, she shouldn’t care about who gets credit, but I’m not gonna fault her for feeling hurt.

      1. timemonkey

        She lost her best fried because she literally told him she couldn’t be around him for a while and left him literally all alone for weeks.

        1. Chubsius

          It a lot more compressed than that, really. We’re only 4 weeks into the school year. Amber told Ethan she needed space exactly one week in, and the very next day Ethan decides he should have never should have come out to her and just faked it. He then asks Joyce if he can come to church with her that same day.

          I…spent some time on the wiki and archives…

        2. Paint

          This strikes me as being really kind of insane. NO one’s life is THIS eventful, I don’t understand why it needs to be so effing compressed. Willis will be wrapping up his retirement when the gang leaves for Christmas vacation.

        3. Spencer

          Comic book time.

          It’s like how the last fifty years of Marvel history has taken place over about ten years or something.

        4. timemonkey

          Marvel time averages out to be about one year fo every four real life years.

        5. Spencer

          It’s always fun to look back at these world shaking crossovers in the gradually sinking frame allotted by a sliding timescale. By now Civil War took place over the course of a particularly eventful weekend.

        6. Hijean

          Well, he has said that they will always be in their first year, because that’s the point of the comic.

        7. fogel

          Alone with Mike to start: as Mike described Ethans situation to him at the time, when Mike was the only one who both knew Ethan is gay and who was available foe Ethan to talk with, “with some asshole as your only friend”

    3. Tiami

      Yeah, Amber’s not being fair here, but I can understand her feeling hurt that the ex-girlfriend who was trying to “straighten” Ethan was the one he trusted over her. Still, Amber is definitely emotionally unstable, which has impacted her relationships negatively.

      1. Gigafreak

        Amber took another “not trusted” hit moments ago in yesterday’s page, too: Ethan’s hesitation to share information about the ToeDad situation.

        1. HorchataShake

          Dude. The girl will literally beat someone up if they don’t fuckin’ follow the law. How fucky is that? Like, of COURSE her friends won’t friggin talk to her about anything. Danny has no self esteem, which is why he’s stayed with amazi-nuts, and like.. ugh. I really just lost sympathy for Amber a long while back. I’m really afraid Amazi-girl finding out about becky will be Amazi-girls “kick the dog” moment and turn into the comic’s antagonist. >:(

      2. Lamia

        I’m not ure it’s that he trusted Joyce over her – it was that Joyce made the offer, first. Yes, Joyce is overcompensating a little because of her guilt, but Amber was still in a mood with Ethan, which can’t have made approaching her easy. There was probably some worry she’d get at him again for his brief beard relationship with Joyce.

  6. Plasma Mongoose

    Did Amazi-Girl just spoke in the last panel?

    1. AgentKeen

      Wrong color, I think.

      1. Plasma Mongoose

        You’re right, I checked and AG uses white text on dark blue not white on black.

        1. AgentKeen

          It’s less Christian Bale Batman, more hellspawn.

        2. inqntrol

          Great,now i read that in Spawn’s voice.

      2. Disloyal Subject

        It seems it’s possessed-o’-clock again.

    2. Deanatay

      Actually, that voice-box kinda worries me. It’s not Amazi-Girl, she’s white-on-blue, and Amber’s your standard black-on-white.

      Is this… ANOTHER personality? One that only comes out when she feels isolated and neglected? This could be… very bad.

      1. John

        The speech balloon color does not represent a personality, just a tone of voice. The white-on-blue doesn’t mean Amazi-Girl necessarily, just that Amber is doing her Batman impression. Amazi-Girl didn’t adopt that habit until after she became worried about people recognizing her regular voice when she was in costume. Unlike the cheek blushes or the “amazi-girl” tag, the voice’s presence or absence isn’t a reliable indication of Amazi-Girl.

        And Amber is not the only one who’s done a white-on-black voice. (Pretty sure there are other examples, too, but that’s the only one I remembered well enough to quickly track down.)

        1. Amazistool

          White-on-black voice?
          I must brush it!

          Mmmh. Is Joyce hairsexual?

        2. DaveM

          (Cautiously un-lurks)
          Joyce makes a habit of the White on black voice actually.
          http://www.dumbingofage.com/2015/comic/book-6/01-to-those-whod-ground-me/goodmorning-2/
          (Quickly re-lurks)

        3. DaveM

          Gaaa! Wrong link, wrong link! I meant HERE.
          http://www.dumbingofage.com/2014/comic/book-5/01-when-somebody-loved-me/bestpossiblething/

    3. MichaelHaneline

      What would Amazi-Girl be doing in Amber’s room?

      1. Beachfox

        Looking for evidence that her boyfriend’s not messing around with that Amber chick on the side?

        1. MichaelHaneline

          Hmm, good point.

  7. inqntrol

    Oh man,Amber is jealous.Let’s hope this won’t influence her alter ego.

    1. airyu

      I don’t think amazigirl would try for “revenge” on Joyce/Becky but you never know.

    2. MeghanTheDreamCrusher

      It’ll probably just make Danny find her use of the grappling hook a bit more intense.

  8. Regalli

    It turns out, denial only works so long and when even the evangelical beard you have is telling you to get out of the closet, there’s kind of limits.

    1. Jones

      It’s great how “evangelical beard” is a phrase that actually makes sense in context. I think it is my favorite phrase now.

  9. Io

    Poor Amber, that robot is only a bandaid to her feelings.

    1. Screwball

      I guess we’re good for that kinda thing. Looks like we can chance how you’re feeling at the time… :p

  10. Plasma Mongoose

    I thought it was Becky as closets blow up in her presence.

    1. Disloyal Subject

      With her penchant for tactical nuking, I’m surprised I haven’t seen any fanart of her as a Ghost from StarCraft yet.

  11. Stephen R. Bierce

    Muzak selection is “Lock You Up” by Point Blank Australia.

    1. Stephen R. Bierce

      https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uPUfdkTuaZw
      Enjoy!

  12. Kris

    Joyce really is both Amazi-girl and Amber’s greatest adversary!

    1. airyu

      Joyce’s alter-ego’s been uncovered though xD

      1. gkheyf

        But Joyce’s arch-foe is Clever-girl: challenging pre-conceived notions and stealin’ yur bffs!

  13. Edupoet81

    Whoa, Amber *really* doesn’t like it that Ethan is working through this without her help — perhaps she fears that Joyce is replacing her?

    At least Amber is happy about having one less thing to keep from Danny. If she asked when and how Danny found out, I wonder how Ethan would respond?

    Amber may feel like she needs to reaffirm her place in Ethan’s life by accompanying him to the next “gay meetup” they hold on campus. I can’t imagine any complications arising from something like that…. nope. None at all. What could happen? It’s not like they’re likely to run into anyone they know, or anything like that.

  14. Jayax

    HA HA! Stole your gay friend!

    1. gkheyf

      Your avatar… it mocks with its triangle smile

  15. winter

    I feel bad for Amber, but can you really blame Ethan? Joyce has been more compassionate with him and more willing to let him dictate the terms of his sexuality from the start – and that’s including all her fundie baggage.

    1. Cephalo the Pod

      I don’t think Joyce was really “letting” him do anything.

      If anything, she was doing the exact same thing as Amber (pressuring him to accept a certain sexuality).

      The difference being that Amber was pressuring him to accept his actual orientation.

      1. winter

        Joyce never denied that he was gay or told him he shouldn’t be, only encouraged him to let them use each other to avoid their respective sexual desires. Which is awful …but I do think she let Ethan make his own choices in their relationship far more willingly than Amber.

        But just for comparison’s sake, here is Amber and Joyce basically saying the same thing – that they’re sorry for how they handled things and are willing to give Ethan the space to figure it out himself, but they’d be happy if he hurried up and embraced his sexuality. Only Amber does it grudgingly with her arms crossed, while Joyce guilelessly accepts what Ethan has to say.

        http://www.dumbingofage.com/2014/comic/book-5/01-when-somebody-loved-me/blessing/

        http://www.dumbingofage.com/2015/comic/book-5/03-the-butterflies-fly-away/nuke/

  16. newllend(henryvolt)

    Ethan: your not special anymore Amber I’m sorry.

    1. timemonkey

      You’re

      1. read all over

        There their they’re. Its just one tini typo. Yes thats on purpose.

        1. MichaelHaneline

          It’s.
          Learn you’re proper grammer and spelling, sheesh.

  17. Em

    God damnit Amber. He’s in a better place now, celebrate that instead of making this all about you and how you weren’t the one to get him to do this stuff. You were there for his first coming out, and defended him and stuff so there, have your cookie.

    This isn’t about you Amber. Get over it.

    1. Disloyal Subject

      She’s trying to get over it.<a href=" 'Hurt' is a valid feeling, though."

      1. Disloyal Subject

        Humbug. Let’s try that again.
        ‘Hurt’ is a valid way to feel.

      2. Lamia

        Except, she’s not. Yes, she is allowed to be hurt, but she shouldn’t respond by storming off every time Ethan does something she isn’t happy about.

    2. saki

      I half agree with you. It’s true Amber shouldn’t be making Ethan’s difficulties about her. On the other hand, she kinda sorta lost her best friend in this whole situation, and I think the fact that Ethan 1) came out to some people and 2) went to an LGBT+ meet-up without her knowing about it is salt in that wound for her. Feeling hurt is normal in this situation.

      1. Nightsbridge

        Indeed, and rather than take it out on him she has resolved to go somewhere where she can be alone to distract herself from illogical hurtness with plastic toys.

      2. timemonkey

        While sympathetic to her I have to say, if she hadn’t abandoned him when they got to college most of the things that are bothering her wouldn’t have happened.

    3. Suzi

      I think you’re over simplifying. I think she is genuinely happy about him coming to terms with his sexuality, but I think she’s upset he’s not involving her, when she has been his friend for longer. He also is hiding things from her, assuming she would react negatively (hiding that he’s trying to keep Becky safe).

  18. Zuzi

    Im getting increasingly worried about Amber…

  19. Hermit Hoover

    Amber and Ethan really have a lot of unresolved baggage, don’t they…
    I say as the rest of the cast saunters around with indomitably heavy luggage of their own.

    Of course, these two DO have the benefit of knowing each other before college. And, of course, the particulars of why Amber is so concerned about Ethan’s sexuality do extend beyond their friendship and into the event that led to their mutual realization of Ethan’s sexuality.

    My point is, yes, baggage they do have, but they also can leverage their extensive prior knowledge of each other to resolve it. Probably have a pretty good shot at getting through this together.

    Now, if they had NO problems, that wouldn’t work for the comic, either, and…the Willis giveth and the Willis taketh away, so my hopes are moderately reasonable, I think.

  20. Skizz

    I guess it follows that a superhero has White Knight Syndrome

  21. DarkoNeko

    “I was your sole support for years, and I complained about how drained it made me, but now you have found other people to help you too, and it’s awesome, yet I still feel jealous.”
    Mammals are complicated.

    1. Pasqui23

      “I wan to feel being awesome from helping you,without being tired from helping you”.
      Sure it isn’t the most complicated I have seen.

      1. DarkoNeko

        …errr… no ? No.

    2. Screwball

      I know, right?! Still, I find these meatbags funny, so I’m gonna hang around for a while…

  22. Marie

    Amber unlocked the door, Joyce un-jammed it, or something.

  23. J. Cisneros

    I’m afraid for Amber. I mean, just in this one I see this hurt face she makes and I feel so sad for her, and I can only imagine what’ll happen when she finds out about Danny thinking about (or actually) boning Ethan.

    1. timemonkey

      She’ll have a really good night with her favorite vibrator.

      Ethan and Danny won’t be doing anything until after Amber and Danny are old news, that’s just the kind of people they are.

      1. fogel

        You mean the Amazibrator ™?

        1. DarkoNeko

          three words : vibrating Sky Linx.

  24. Guy

    Ambers whole thing is suppose to be a lack of self awareness right? Im not even talking the whole “don’t commit crime” while commiting violent crimes thing, that one is obvious. But the whole “be who you are, as long as it’s my way” thing isn’t just in my head, Amber is really selfish and controling, right? You can’t just tell people how to work through things and who to do so with, that’s not cool. When the fundie makes being out less of a stresser then the old childhood pal, something is rotten in the state university.

    1. DarkoNeko

      > Amber is really selfish and controling, right?
      So, like her father ?

      1. Marisa Mockery

        Mike has pointed this out already.

        1. fogel

          And almost got killed for it? Was Amber serious when she suggested that?

      2. StClair

        and the anger issues, yes.
        apple, tree.

      3. Spencer

        Turns out when you grow up under the thumb of an abusive, controlling monster you pick up a few bad habits. Amber doesn’t even realize she’s being controlling; she doesn’t know how not to be.

    2. timemonkey

      I’d say it’s more she’s letting her frustration blind her. Ethan came out the first time, she went through a lot of shit protecting him but then it became about how she needed a break from the stress and how could he go back in the closet after all she went through for him, and how can he be doing these things with Joyce and not her? Granted, all those things are valid things to feel but she’s missing that it’s Ethan’s life, his choice.

      1. Steve C.

        I’d say this string sums things up nicely. Timemonkey gives Amber’s side while the others list things Amber is unaware of/in denial about. For the later category, I’ll mention Amber’s jealousy that Ethan was willing for fake being straight for Joyce and not for her (and that Ethan would still be faking it if Joyce had not ended the relationship.) What Amber’s not realizing is that (1) Joyce and Ethan weren’t fooling anyone, and (2) the relationship only worked because, unlike Amber, Joyce was never interested in anything beyond maybe getting to first base. (Joyce’s version of a sex dream with Ethan notwithstanding.)

        1. licoricepencil

          +1 internets to you

    3. Cizak

      Yup, Amber is pretty much a shit.

      1. J. Cisneros

        Surprisingly fitting image, dude.

  25. Freezer

    Ethan/Danny: Their love sucks at reading people.

  26. Mr. Mendo

    Methinks Amber *might* be making this about her…

    1. Just Me

      I think she’s trying hard not to, and is trying hard to be supportive.

      1. Mr. Mendo

        Well, the road to Hell is paved with good intentions, as they say. 🙁

    2. timemonkey

      Methinks that may be part of why Joyce gets Ethan to do these things with her and not Amber.

  27. Derek

    I really feel for Amber here.
    Putting forth an innocuous example, imagine telling your friend over and over that they should watch X movie with you, because it’s great. Then later you find out that not only did they watch the movie without you, they did with someone else at THEIR recommendation.
    You should be happy they watched the movie, since that was the original goal, but boy does it hurt they listened to someone else over you.

    The fact that it’s not a movie but rather a step in Ethan’s coming out experience makes this 1000% more complicated and emotionally loaded.

    1. Sophia

      THANK YOU! Fucking finally.

    2. Cephalo the Pod

      And you’re super close with the person to whom your making the recommendation, but they just met this other person.

      1. J. Cisneros

        You guys know what’s up.

  28. Just Me

    My interpretation: As it is, Amber feels awkward around people and has very few close friends. Ethan was her longest lasting friend and now she feels like she is losing him. Rejection is hard enough, but being rejected by someone you have cared about for a very long time hurts even more.

    I really think she’s trying, but it’s not easy.

    1. Gangler

      She and Sal should hang out and commiserate. Gripe about their friends hanging out with new people.

      1. saki

        In a parallel reality where Sal wasn’t the one who held up that store, sure.

        1. DarkoNeko

          ha.

        2. Larkle

          This would be the catch…

        3. DarkoNeko

          I’d say Sal and Amber have a lot more in common than we give them credit for.

  29. Dean

    At least the Transformer needs help with coming out.

    1. JessWitt

      Zing! +1 to you.

  30. Grantimusmax

    Did…did we just see the birth of a third personality?

    1. Disloyal Subject

      More like a reemergence.

      1. Screwball

        Naa, just kill-everything rage. My Megatron got it fairly often, 1 of the reason I went AWOL… 😛

  31. Wafflebob

    I’ll put it this way. I do not provide whatevr for ethan and stilll say whateeerr. m Ok with that

  32. hikaru

    i understand that ethans important to her but god damn she needs to take the “this is about me and not you” lesson to heart a little more
    even joyce seemed to get that and she literally like, JUST started caring about this stuff.

    1. Paint

      Do you not understand why that would make it even worse? In Amber’s mind, it’s probably “What the fuck, two WEEKS ago this fundie chick was totally willing to let you stifle who you were so she could have a boyfriend, and now she’s the one that gets to retrace this self-discovery path with you, AFTER I did a lot of legwork on your behalf?! Screw you. I’m gonna play with my robot now, leave me alone to stew or I’ll say something I regret.”

      I don’t think we get to judge her actions in the moment, as she’s finding out. At least she’s not actually lashing out at him, yet. We’ll see tomorrow I guess.

      1. hikaru

        ok but thats 100% the point, this is not about her or joyce or “how much ambers done for him” and im absolutely going to judge her for reacting like it is

  33. Sophia

    I’m kind of surprised by the lack of compassion here for Amber, and I don’t even find her particularly likable as a character. Even a lot of really healthy, mentally-stable people are not pros at hiding their reactions and feelings, and Amber isn’t either of those things. She said absolutely nothing cruel, or even remotely rude to him. Not in this panel or the last. The only thing she’s “guilty” of is not sounding 100% enthusiastic in her genuine happiness for him. What a birch, amiright?

    She’s an unstable human being, and she also can’t control her feelings. That doesn’t make her a shitty person. Yeah, she’s jealous because someone she really cares about is seemingly becoming closer to a girl who isn’t her. That someone being her ex-boyfriend that she loved and, honestly, owed absolutely nothing to after the relationship ended but who she genuinely tried to help (with his family/with feeling comfortable about himself) regardless of how painful it was for her and she did this with absolutely no ulterior motive, but just because she cared. And even though that’s been resolved, it’s still a sore subject and I’m sure the whole “was going to try with Joyce but not with me” thing still really hurts, even if it’s not ultra-reasonable.

    She’s not making it about her. She’s happy for Ethan regardless. She’s voiced that multiple times. But a lot of people need to realize that while coming out is one of the hardest things a person can do, it doesn’t make you and your feelings the center of the universe either. That means your friends can feel hurt without your gracious permission.

    I found 9 Amber/Ethan panels that showcase part of their relationship in chronological order. How do you read these and not empathize with her? She has issues too.
    Both are hurt, both for valid reasons.
    She’s heartbroken and angry about Joyce.
    He contributes to one of her many issues, whether he means to or not.
    She thinks her best friend is being manipulated.
    “So you’ll fake it with her, but you wouldn’t fake it with me?” Ouch. She feels completely rejected.
    She’s not listening at this point because she’s having a fucking mental break.
    Both are trying.
    They make up.
    She gives her blessing.

    1. Sophia

      Sorry, meant to write “She gives her blessing, kind of.”

    2. Spencer

      Excellent write-up.

      I think Amber is feeling guilty over abandoning Ethan, and is thinking she’s starting to be replaced, and while Amber’s pain isn’t comparable to what Ethan’s gone through, that doesn’t suddenly make it null. Amber’s still allowed to be hurt too.

      1. Sophia

        But like, why is her pain not comparable to what Ethan’s gone through? Regardless of why we (we the readers) keep trying to make it a competition, what makes his pain automatically worse than hers? His parents, while unsupportive, love him. And as far as we know, the problems with them only started the moment he came out. He had to deal with a life of confusion and internal self-hate because he’s gay, but he’s otherwise a mentally healthy person. Amber had to grow up in an abusive household until her mother was finally able to leave her father, and she had a fair amount of anxiety as a child which caused the robbery to mentally hurt her even more. Having the person you love break your heart, even if he didn’t mean to, and dealing with his parents all summer (who I’m sure accused her of all sorts of things that made their son “turn” gay) wasn’t exactly a joyride either. They both have a lot of shit and I don’t see how his shit is harder.

        Obviously, my opinions are informed by my life and my experiences. I’m not mentally healthy, I’ve been in the closet, I’ve come out of the closet, and I’ve had trouble with family and friends because of all of those things. And after reading all these comments (not yours, the ones accusing Amber of being selfish), I had to stand up for the girl.

        1. Spencer

          Sorry, I should have been clear that I was just referring to Amber’s problems in relation to Ethan’s coming out and how she’s been dealing with it. I think people are a little too willing to blame her for needing a break from Ethan, because it casts her as needing to be unfailingly supporting through all the pain his family and friends hoisted onto him because of his sexuality, or else she failed him.

          But, yeah, people are being way too harsh on Amber for having the gall to feel left out from the life of someone she deeply loves, and you’ve lain out a really great analysis on why she’s feeling the way she is right now. She’s not some kind of raging hypocrite because she made a mistake with Ethan, because she wasn’t able to unceasingly support him at every turn from the abuse of his family and community. She’s allowed to be hurt.

          And more power to you. Take care.

    3. Brute

      thank you for this comment. i was surprised to see how unforgiving everyone is to her :/ poor amber.

      1. Brute

        and ethan, and pretty much everyone because oh god so much pain

      2. Anna

        People are unforgiving to Amber because Amber reminds them of themselves.

        1. winter

          What Anna said. I don’t know about everyone else who’s down on Amber, but I know a big part of the reason I’m so unforgiving with her (in this continuity) is because she keeps making the same dumb mistakes I’ve made before (and will probably make again).

          So, yeah, I empathise completely, but she’s letting her own issues prevent her from taking care of herself (and her friends) and I don’t like it. I don’t like her. I try very hard not to be her. And I actually do like her, because I know she cares and I know she can be better. I just want her to hurry up and get there already.

    4. Bagge

      Well described. Ethan and Amber both have issues, and their friendship has been bruised by them. I think both of them handle the situation in a not-terrible way, and I especially applaud that neither of them let their hurt push them away from each other.

      Amber open a transformers without Ethan is perhaps the worst any of them has done intentionally to the other. That is actually pretty acceptable.

  34. Architex

    0 to spiteful Amber, real quick.

  35. BenRG

    What, so Amber is jealous of Joyce now? Never could I imagine such a thing! Something tells me that ‘possessive’ is a serious part of Amber’s personality; Danny should be careful!

    1. Bagge

      Yes, he should

      1. DarkoNeko

        He really, really should.

        1. ə snow ʍouse

          Ethan should also be careful.

        2. ə snow ʍouse

          He’s already got one strike, after all.

    2. Reaver

      She’s not Jealous, she’s HURT, she just got told all of HER efforts were a loosening, and Joyce was the push to get the door open, She’s not possessive, but very very hurt.

  36. Bagge

    Poor Amber, that is pure, undiluted hurt. “I was there for you, and you turned to someone else.”

  37. Mr. Mendo

    This must be, like, the “my friend’s coming out” version of being friendzoned…

  38. Tobias

    Got my DoA book 4 in the mail yesterday. I had forgotten all about the “You’ll pretend for her, but you wouldn’t for me?” lunchroom scene early in that book. This whole scene seems to be continuing to play off that.

  39. Cizak

    That’s right, Amber, just keep cementing yourself as the worst character. It’s gonna make your breakup with Danny all the more sweeter.

    1. electromagneticDestroyosaur

      Goddamnit Mike, stop saying the obviously true things we don’t want to confront.

  40. timemonkey

    And then she’s going to get herself some soft serve!

  41. motorfirebox

    “Actually… Joyce already opened the robot.”

    1. ə snow ʍouse

      xD

    2. gkheyf

      “…………i see. then i shall simply have to make my own entertainment.

      …out of femurs”

  42. hof1991

    Plot device implanted. At some point Amber is going to wonder how and why Danny was told / found out that Ethan was gay. If she asks Danny, his stumbling response should set her amazi-senses tingling.

    Amber and Ethan were bantering like old times, then he let her know that he is moving on without her. They go way back with complicated feels. Friendship, romance , near sex in the hotel. Did the fight last summer with his family help create or cement her alter ego? Just as Ethan is getting support, Amber is awefully alone. Even her roomie is busy. Danny is compartmentalized as belonging to AG, not Amber.

  43. Lamia

    Saw someone use this strip in the comments to illustrate another point, and just thought, “hey, this makes my thoughts on Amber’s behaviour much more clear”.

    http://www.dumbingofage.com/2014/comic/book-4/04-the-whiteboard-dong-bandit/valid/

    I know “coming out as Amazigirl” is NOT the same thing as “coming out as gay” but in terms of a literary foil, it’s basically the same sort of gist. Amber came out to someone else about her alter ego and talked things out with someone other than her best friend, and Ethan – rather than being jealous of Dorothy – expresses his regret that she didn’t come to him but is still pleased that she spoke to SOMEONE. THIS is how to do it, not guilt-tripping and passive aggression.

    1. Spencer

      Amber’s hurting now for the same reason Danny was hurt when she gave an interview to Dorothy before talking to him; she wants to be important to someone she cares about.

      It’s petty. It was petty when Danny wanted her to talk to him instead of Dorothy, but that’s just being human. Plus, she actually has done wrong by Ethan, so she might be concerned that this is just the first step to cutting her off entirely.

    2. Sophia

      This isn’t the same thing at all. Amber was incredibly hurt that Ethan was willing “to fake it with her [Joyce], but you wouldn’t fake it with me [Amber]?” I kind of doubt it fully eased the pain when he told her he broke up with her because SHE wouldn’t be happy. He wasn’t just her best friend, she was also in love with him. She may be with Danny now, but given that she needs time away from Ethan, I’m guessing the feelings aren’t totally gone. A person can’t help their feelings and it’s not even the least bit surprising that she feels hurt, especially since she’s not the reader and doesn’t see everything. Ethan didn’t listen to Amber when she said to try and accept himself, but he listened to Joyce. He didn’t let Amber take him to one of those meetings (when she clearly tried, given the “finally”), but he went with Joyce who herself was unsure about the whole thing. Is he allowed to deal with his sexuality at his own pace? Of course! But he doesn’t live in a vacuum. People keep saying she’s making everything about her, but not everything is about just because he came out. She has feelings and she keeps seeing a pattern where Ethan chooses Joyce over her, the girl that was in love with him.

      Ethan didn’t feel like he was being replaced by Dorothy because 1. he wasn’t ever in love with Amber and more importantly 2. it was obvious that Amber didn’t consider Dorothy a closer friend than Ethan, she was giving an interview that people all over campus would read, essentially getting her name out there.

      Ethan was happy for Amber and Amber expressed multiple times that she was happy for Ethan. “It was my idea first!” isn’t passive aggressive or guilt-tripping. “Oh. Okay. I…I guess it’s still important that it happened.” The only thing this girl is guilty of is not being better at hiding her hurt. And as Reaver mentioned, Ethan coming in with his “Look the door was JAMMED but you helped ‘Loosen’ it” comment didn’t help either. As they said, “All the pain and stuff she went through, to be supportive, being crapped on by everyone was just ‘Loosening’ the door, but Joyce was the magic that got it open, and that really stung. Like ‘Eh you helped a little…’ to a person who already feels they don’t mount up to much is sort of a low blow.”

      1. Spencer

        “He wasn’t just her best friend, she was also in love with him.”

        This part right here is super important and it needs to be brought up every time Amber gets vilified for spending time away from Ethan. He wasn’t just a close friend who she eventually became “tired” of supporting; she thought she was going to marry him. She genuinely, deeply loved him and still might even in the exact same way, and knowing he’d never love her like she wanted, she still chose to stand by his side. Now Ethan is growing without her direct input and she’s scared of losing him, and she’ll absolutely blame herself for it all the while.

        (The only reason I’m focusing specifically on this is because your entire post is super rad and everyone needs to read it)

  44. Kenjia

    Someone may have said this already, but Joyce didn’t pressure Ethan… AT ALL. She kind of said in a nutshell said “Look, it wasn’t right we were in a relationship. It might be helpful for you to go to this thing. I don’t know much about it but…”

  45. Spencer

    Oh wait, now I get it.

    Amber (who has been previously established as having massive amounts of self loathing and thinks herself incapable of anything good without putting on the mask) was supportive to Ethan during his coming out, but now she’s feeling that accomplishment is being challenged by Joyce helping Ethan out in a way she never did. It’s just another example of how “Amber” is useless and only Amazi-Girl can do good.

  46. lightsabermario

    Huh. Apparently she needs to transform into Amazi-Girl to open her Transformer.

    1. Lord Stoneheart

      Nah, it’s not even Amazi Girl there. It just needs to be possessed o’clock. http://www.dumbingofage.com/2011/comic/book-2/01-pajama-jeans/time/

    2. m2iCodeJockey

      I thought it was “I’m going to take out my rage on this packaging…”

  47. Reaver

    I think it’s also due to how he phrased the last comment “Look the door was JAMMED but you helped “Loosen” it”

    All the pain and stuff she went through, to be supportive, being crapped on by everyone was just “Loosening” the door, but Joyce was the magic that got it open, and that really stung.

    Like “Eh you helped a little…” to a person who already feels they don’t mount up to much is sort of a low blow.

    1. Sophia

      Agreed.

  48. Boop

    Why do I get the feeling that this is foreshadowing for a much, much bigger crisis? Everyone but her is helping Becky stay safe from her abusive father – INCLUDING SAL, who traumatuzed Amber. What if Sal, not Amber, is the one to resolve the situation? Sal is thought of to be Amazi-girl, Sal and Amber have already fought, Sal is friends with everyone who doesn’t know what she’s done and Sal is more emotionally stable.

    What if everyone cites HER as this great big hero, and Amber is left, again, to feel as if someone less “morally right” was both nore trusted and more sucessful in helping her friends through a hard time?

  49. Lan Mikoto

    Amber is the W-40 we don’t deserve but have anyways. She’s our goddamn Bat-greaser.

  50. Smiling Cat

    Quick Ethan, use the Faye maneuver! “I could have never even gotten to this point if you hadn’t been there for me.”

    1. Reaver

      HAH! I get this reference! “Be totally okay with me sort of screwing you over!”

  51. Palamdrone

    Fucking robots are the best robots.

  52. man jean

    i want to be a better gay ally!! no me!!! no

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