While that “I don’t know this lady” part may not have been called for entirely,
I just feel so GLAD and RELIEVED to see that a lot of the Chains of the Sunday School that have caused her to neglect her health in the name of religion have been broken!
The last random person I befriended turned out to be racist, fortunately I’m white-passing enough he didn’t know he was talking about me and I could escape. Or he knew and was trying to goad me into something. Either way, I made it out.
The guy before that talked about how he quit a meth (…I think meth) addiction by locking himself in a friend’s basement with the whole “no matter what I say, do not open this door for two weeks” shtick. So you know, the practice has its upsides. That guy was pretty cool.
Former drug abusers usually have a lot of crazy interesting stories to share, and occasionally turn out to be really good people, not just gray or straight up bad.
They’d be perfectly normal citizens were it not for the probably permanent physical consequences of years of drug use, like fucked up skin, dead looking eyes and erratic behavior.
hey now.
let’s cool it with the toxicophobia folks.
…not just saying that because i’ve lost a very dear friend to drug abuse recently. but it does feel extra hurtful. i’m just gonna stop typing now
Spencer
No, I’m on your side on this. Drug abuse isn’t a personal failing, it’s not something to be conditioned as “occasionally they’re good people” or “they’d be perfectly normal citizens,” because they already are good, normal people who for one reason or another fell into something that then started altering how they think and feel. It’s just another social code of conduct we inflict onto the marginalized so we know that the shit hand we’ve dealt them is their fault.
It stops being a choice when it’s an addiction, let alone the constant torrent of judgment from people who have never had to go through it in the first place. I don’t have a debilitating addiction (unless my stopped caffeine binges count as such, which the fact that I went through two weeks of withdrawal and came out no worse for wear should indicate it very much was not), I’ve got someone in my life who has for decades, and that she can’t stop herself from drinking isn’t her choice at this point. It’d be great if she could make choices to prevent herself from making that choice, but that’s another matter.
I apologize. I should have been clearer that typing out “occasionally” as I did was in condemning that thought process.
oh right, sorry i misinterpreted your tone and saw red. i realize my mistake now. But regardless, yeah, whether, or how often drug users are “good people” is just bizarre and irrelevant (not to even mention the “normal citizen” phrase, like that’s something to aspire to).
thanks for swiftly clearing this up, idc about Gash they’re just an edgy troll who get off on ticking people off.
Spencer
It’s perfectly okay. Let alone that this is such a painful issue for you and you deserve to feel strongly about it, if you think I’m saying something stupid and harmful to people who already have enough stupid, harmful people on their plate, I’d rather you get mad at me because I can either explain myself or realize that I’m contributing to being stupid and harmful.
You deserved to be mad there and you still felt it important to be civil when, for as far as you knew, I really didn’t deserve that civility. It’s nothing to be sorry about, I should have been more thorough and open instead of just being dismissive in a way that made it come off as endorsing that kind of prejudice.
First time commenting, but I’d just like you to know that you’re cool! I admire your stances and the way you articulate your feelings. I wanna be like that one day,,,
Yeaaaahhhhh that’s fair. I love my friends dearly but I don’t know if I’d want them to stay either. If they were okay with it I probably wouldn’t kick them out but they probably wouldn’t want to hang around for that either. XD
A friend who will go with you to the OB/GYN is a real one though. Good job Jennifer <3
I don't know how I want this to work out. My cranky cynical half is saying it'd be more realistic if this doctor wasn't super helpful – lots of folks go upwards of ten years getting any real relief on this crap, and okay, selfish note, it might make me feel a little less crazy about my concerns this'll happen to me when I talk to my own doctor about finding an OB/GYN for this stuff. Buuuuut my 'just want relief' side and my 'Joyce stan' side both want this doctor to be good and kind and pleasant and good at her job. I can dream of a better world can't I? 😛
As someone who has gotten bad cramps since I first started getting them (aka double over in pain, worse than an appendectomy type), and maybe just now in my 30s finally finding meds that may work, I understand. I think that it might be more realistic for them to try 10 different meds or so (at least 3 months per med depending on whether your body decides to reject the meds, which has happened with me where they worked until they didn’t) combined with recommending physical exercise and diet changes to finally work out something that might partially work. It would be nice if it was as simple as one and done. The waiting at least 3 months to see if the meds work is killer though. It can just take that long for your body to adjust to the hormones, for better or for worse.
Yeah, either way I wouldn’t expect all that much improvement THIS cycle. The ship has sailed. The hormones are already flooding her body. Whatever horrifying bullshit lurks within her reproductive system, it is EXTREMELY PROUD of what it has accomplished this time around. This is probably not the ideal time for an internal examination. Here is your heat pack and your NSAID you haven’t tried yet and we hope the next months suck less.
Regalli
Also, my sympathies to both of you. Yaaaay, Menstrual Agony Club, the worst club to belong to. T_T
BBCC
Isn’t it just a fucking PEACH?
My sympathies to both of you lovelies as well.
Realistically, dealing with it quickly is more practical for the comic but on the emotional level I dunno what’d be more satisfying for me to see. So I’m gonna accept now it’ll probably be bittersweet no matter what and just be glad Willis put this in his comic period (pun intended).
BarerMender
I’ve never been completely happy being a man, but now I’m glad I’m not a woman.
Menstruating or not has nothing to do with gender. Plenty of men are in the Menstrual Agony Club – and plenty of women aren’t.
Kimi
Normally if you get a prescription pain med for this, it’s some combination of acetaminophen and ibuprofen with caffeine. Something that you can do on your own without a prescription if need be. I find that something like icy hot can work for a bit too, at least till the meds start working. Also, oddly enough,
tampons sometimes help with the pain too, though I couldn’t tell you why. Won’t speak much about how cramps can mess with your digestive system other than it happens.
(CW: mention of sexual assault)
I’ve been super afraid of pap smears ever since I had to do one just after I was assaulted a few years ago (got irregular periods after and didn’t realise it was because of the trauma, ended up having a panic attack in the chair, not fun!). But last year I finally managed to do another one! I talked to the doctor about my trauma and asked a friend to come with me and hold my hand. Made sure to wear a big dress so I could shield her from having to see, um, everything, and all in all it was a very positive experience. The doctor kept making jokes as well. I get why someone wouldn’t want to bring a friend into that situation but for me I think it was integral in overcoming that particular fear!
I’m so sorry that happened. I’m glad your friend was there for you and I’m sure you’re not the only one who’d feel better with a friend. My thoughts on that are strictly for myself.
Lamppost
Thank you! I’m doing very well now and having good friends around me has been a big part of it. That particular doctor’s appointment with my friend holding my hand lives in my head and my heart as a really, really good memory. Despite the circumstances I truly felt loved and proud of myself in that situation.
Yeah, having a friend or not for support is something that’s very different across people. I’d hate having one there, because my way of dealing with shit is to dissociate, and another human would be something to deal with. But for other people, a friend can be great for exactly what you said.
Tbh, I’d read Joyce as someone who could use a friend there, but what do I know.
Narratively speaking, this has to work, because if it took, say, a week of in-comic time for Joyce’s menstrual cramps to abate, we’d be dealing with it for months of real time.
Yeah, that’s what I’m thinking too. Although her period’s already started this month, so it’d be at least another couple months before we know if whatever she’s taking would help, since it’s not every cycle that’s bad.
There’s got to be some sort of dirty joke I can make about things being inside out outside of a box, and also a common slang term for a cat, but it’s late and I’m tired.
This might be too advanced for Walky – or maybe not given that Dorothy gave him some guidance – but a really fun missionary variant involves the bottom’s legs folding back towards the chest so that instead of legs spread legs are resting upon the top’s shoulders.
Most of my tips are g-spot related cause that’s what works for me, so other mileages may vary, but legs resting on shoulders is great for g-spot stimulation.
Billie: “You know what you’re doing right?”
Walky (smug) “Oh yeah. I’ve done it before.”
Billie: “with Dorothy? SNORT. Allow me.” (proceeds to place herself as Rose suggests) (no shade to Dorothy) (but Billie wouldn’t know how competent Dorothy is, but would straight-up assume she’s better)
Yotomoe
Haha For no reason at all, I’d also assume she’s better.
I forget this is still a common reaction for many people in this scenario. When you have a chronic illness you get so used to being examined that you just…stop thinking about it. At this point I’m just like the Vitruvian Man, like “here is my body, do what you gotta do.”
Same here, I have two messed up hips, one is bad muscles (scars from the repair that have gotten tight over the years) the other is from trying to stick my knee in my ear when I was in my 50’s. Both knees have been bad since my late teens, but lately my kneecaps have gotten so bad as to impede my sex life, they really need to go.
autogatos
Oof I sympathize. I had 2 hip surgeries before 30. Now my hip is acting up yet again and my knee likes to dislocate every time I try to take a single step without wearing a brace.
Ahhh joints.
Relatable for even non-chronic issues too, for me anyway! I had a massive back abscess last year and by the end of the whole three-months ordeal of healing it I got pretty comfortable with being basically topless while people measured, photographed, and poked me. The response to ‘is it okay if I-‘ was like ‘yup, go to town, medical professional.’
Yeah, I’m pretty blasé about being examined. I’m just like, whatever, they’re medical professionals, my body is only interesting to them in the context of whether stuff is working as intended or not. (Helps that I’m extremely ace and have no history of medical or sexual trauma, probably, but I think some of it is just my personality.) I was in my thirties before I was comfortable changing underwear in front of my sister, but when the surgeon who fixed my broken shoulder was politely asking me if he could lift my shirt sleeve to check on the staples, I was like “go to town, man” and I would not have blinked if my boob fell out of the shirt in the process, even though I was not wearing a bra at the time. (Very hard to put on a bra with a broken shoulder.)
autogatos
Yeah weirdly I am actually really tense about being touched in any other scenario. I don’t even like to be hugged by friends (no traumatic reason, I’m just small and people thought that meant it was okay to pick me up with zero warning all the way through my 20s).
But I’m just so used to medical procedures at this point that it’s like a switch flips and my brain goes into “medical appointment mode” and I become an anatomy class practice dummy.
autogatos
Nudity doesn’t really bother me either. I’m more like…I don’t want to make OTHER people uncomfortable, but I’ve sat through so much figure drawing class at this point that naked bodies are like a bowl of fruit still life to me.
Yep. I’m calm, cool, totally fine, do whatever you need, riiiiight up until my brain can no longer dissociate far enough to cover up my awareness of an emotional flashback…
I don’t go to the doctor very often but there’s nothing like a doctor visit to make me realize how many areas on my body I actually feel uncomfortable being touched.
Huggers baffle me. They approach and my brain replays the “no touchy” parts from Emperor’s New Groove. There’s an access control list for getting that close to me, and you ain’t in that user group.
175 thoughts on “Kaur”
The Wellerman
While that “I don’t know this lady” part may not have been called for entirely,
I just feel so GLAD and RELIEVED to see that a lot of the Chains of the Sunday School that have caused her to neglect her health in the name of religion have been broken!
??? ???
*plays “Spirit Bomb Theme” from Dragon Ball Music CD on hacked muzak*
Ana Chronistic
me at every pap smear and/or mammogram
Johan
I hate my yearly abyss gazing…
cbwroses
But does it gaze back into the doctor?
Johan
A nonbinary never tells. ?
Sirksome
There are a lot of people in this world you don’t know. That’s why it’s important to go out, enjoy life, and make a connection with another human!
BarerMender
Naw, fuck all them humans. I’m staying in my room.
cbwroses
Or Yeah, fuck all them humans in my room.
BarerMender
I’ve done that already.
TboneJenkins
It’s appropriate that all the above replies are of Carla.
Agemegos
All? It is too much!
Decidedly Orthogonal
You can’t even fuck just the hot ones, unless your standards are very high indeed.
— Cribbed from Oglaf
Agemegos
Exactly.
thakoru
Sometimes the comment and the avatar line up juuust right.
BarerMender
Carla’s a smart woman.
Reltzik
But the downside to that is that they’re humans. Humans are the WORST.
Just give me an oversized (~50 lbs) lapdog or three and I’m good.
3oranges
That sounds like a good way to lose your purse.
meanderling
I like those connections to be made while I’m not in the “scoot down a little and relax” position.
Bruceski
The last random person I befriended turned out to be racist, fortunately I’m white-passing enough he didn’t know he was talking about me and I could escape. Or he knew and was trying to goad me into something. Either way, I made it out.
The guy before that talked about how he quit a meth (…I think meth) addiction by locking himself in a friend’s basement with the whole “no matter what I say, do not open this door for two weeks” shtick. So you know, the practice has its upsides. That guy was pretty cool.
Gash
Former drug abusers usually have a lot of crazy interesting stories to share, and occasionally turn out to be really good people, not just gray or straight up bad.
They’d be perfectly normal citizens were it not for the probably permanent physical consequences of years of drug use, like fucked up skin, dead looking eyes and erratic behavior.
Spencer
“Occasionally.”
milu
hey now.
let’s cool it with the toxicophobia folks.
…not just saying that because i’ve lost a very dear friend to drug abuse recently. but it does feel extra hurtful. i’m just gonna stop typing now
Spencer
No, I’m on your side on this. Drug abuse isn’t a personal failing, it’s not something to be conditioned as “occasionally they’re good people” or “they’d be perfectly normal citizens,” because they already are good, normal people who for one reason or another fell into something that then started altering how they think and feel. It’s just another social code of conduct we inflict onto the marginalized so we know that the shit hand we’ve dealt them is their fault.
It stops being a choice when it’s an addiction, let alone the constant torrent of judgment from people who have never had to go through it in the first place. I don’t have a debilitating addiction (unless my stopped caffeine binges count as such, which the fact that I went through two weeks of withdrawal and came out no worse for wear should indicate it very much was not), I’ve got someone in my life who has for decades, and that she can’t stop herself from drinking isn’t her choice at this point. It’d be great if she could make choices to prevent herself from making that choice, but that’s another matter.
I apologize. I should have been clearer that typing out “occasionally” as I did was in condemning that thought process.
milu
oh right, sorry i misinterpreted your tone and saw red. i realize my mistake now. But regardless, yeah, whether, or how often drug users are “good people” is just bizarre and irrelevant (not to even mention the “normal citizen” phrase, like that’s something to aspire to).
thanks for swiftly clearing this up, idc about Gash they’re just an edgy troll who get off on ticking people off.
Spencer
It’s perfectly okay. Let alone that this is such a painful issue for you and you deserve to feel strongly about it, if you think I’m saying something stupid and harmful to people who already have enough stupid, harmful people on their plate, I’d rather you get mad at me because I can either explain myself or realize that I’m contributing to being stupid and harmful.
You deserved to be mad there and you still felt it important to be civil when, for as far as you knew, I really didn’t deserve that civility. It’s nothing to be sorry about, I should have been more thorough and open instead of just being dismissive in a way that made it come off as endorsing that kind of prejudice.
milu
thank you Spence. <3
Cuckoo
First time commenting, but I’d just like you to know that you’re cool! I admire your stances and the way you articulate your feelings. I wanna be like that one day,,,
BBCC
Yeaaaahhhhh that’s fair. I love my friends dearly but I don’t know if I’d want them to stay either. If they were okay with it I probably wouldn’t kick them out but they probably wouldn’t want to hang around for that either. XD
A friend who will go with you to the OB/GYN is a real one though. Good job Jennifer <3
I don't know how I want this to work out. My cranky cynical half is saying it'd be more realistic if this doctor wasn't super helpful – lots of folks go upwards of ten years getting any real relief on this crap, and okay, selfish note, it might make me feel a little less crazy about my concerns this'll happen to me when I talk to my own doctor about finding an OB/GYN for this stuff. Buuuuut my 'just want relief' side and my 'Joyce stan' side both want this doctor to be good and kind and pleasant and good at her job. I can dream of a better world can't I? 😛
Kimi
As someone who has gotten bad cramps since I first started getting them (aka double over in pain, worse than an appendectomy type), and maybe just now in my 30s finally finding meds that may work, I understand. I think that it might be more realistic for them to try 10 different meds or so (at least 3 months per med depending on whether your body decides to reject the meds, which has happened with me where they worked until they didn’t) combined with recommending physical exercise and diet changes to finally work out something that might partially work. It would be nice if it was as simple as one and done. The waiting at least 3 months to see if the meds work is killer though. It can just take that long for your body to adjust to the hormones, for better or for worse.
Regalli
Yeah, either way I wouldn’t expect all that much improvement THIS cycle. The ship has sailed. The hormones are already flooding her body. Whatever horrifying bullshit lurks within her reproductive system, it is EXTREMELY PROUD of what it has accomplished this time around. This is probably not the ideal time for an internal examination. Here is your heat pack and your NSAID you haven’t tried yet and we hope the next months suck less.
Regalli
Also, my sympathies to both of you. Yaaaay, Menstrual Agony Club, the worst club to belong to. T_T
BBCC
Isn’t it just a fucking PEACH?
My sympathies to both of you lovelies as well.
Realistically, dealing with it quickly is more practical for the comic but on the emotional level I dunno what’d be more satisfying for me to see. So I’m gonna accept now it’ll probably be bittersweet no matter what and just be glad Willis put this in his comic period (pun intended).
BarerMender
I’ve never been completely happy being a man, but now I’m glad I’m not a woman.
milu
#NotAllMen… have penises =P
Z
Menstruating or not has nothing to do with gender. Plenty of men are in the Menstrual Agony Club – and plenty of women aren’t.
Kimi
Normally if you get a prescription pain med for this, it’s some combination of acetaminophen and ibuprofen with caffeine. Something that you can do on your own without a prescription if need be. I find that something like icy hot can work for a bit too, at least till the meds start working. Also, oddly enough,
tampons sometimes help with the pain too, though I couldn’t tell you why. Won’t speak much about how cramps can mess with your digestive system other than it happens.
Lamppost
(CW: mention of sexual assault)
I’ve been super afraid of pap smears ever since I had to do one just after I was assaulted a few years ago (got irregular periods after and didn’t realise it was because of the trauma, ended up having a panic attack in the chair, not fun!). But last year I finally managed to do another one! I talked to the doctor about my trauma and asked a friend to come with me and hold my hand. Made sure to wear a big dress so I could shield her from having to see, um, everything, and all in all it was a very positive experience. The doctor kept making jokes as well. I get why someone wouldn’t want to bring a friend into that situation but for me I think it was integral in overcoming that particular fear!
BBCC
I’m so sorry that happened. I’m glad your friend was there for you and I’m sure you’re not the only one who’d feel better with a friend. My thoughts on that are strictly for myself.
Lamppost
Thank you! I’m doing very well now and having good friends around me has been a big part of it. That particular doctor’s appointment with my friend holding my hand lives in my head and my heart as a really, really good memory. Despite the circumstances I truly felt loved and proud of myself in that situation.
BBCC
I’m so glad! Friends like that are the real ones.
Jamie
Yeah, having a friend or not for support is something that’s very different across people. I’d hate having one there, because my way of dealing with shit is to dissociate, and another human would be something to deal with. But for other people, a friend can be great for exactly what you said.
Tbh, I’d read Joyce as someone who could use a friend there, but what do I know.
JBento
Narratively speaking, this has to work, because if it took, say, a week of in-comic time for Joyce’s menstrual cramps to abate, we’d be dealing with it for months of real time.
BBCC
Yeah, that’s what I’m thinking too. Although her period’s already started this month, so it’d be at least another couple months before we know if whatever she’s taking would help, since it’s not every cycle that’s bad.
ThunderNight
schrodinger’s friendship
Doctor_Who
There’s got to be some sort of dirty joke I can make about things being inside out outside of a box, and also a common slang term for a cat, but it’s late and I’m tired.
The Wellerman
Hey at least it’s not gonna come after you like a Weeping Angel ?
Yotomoe
https://i.imgur.com/GL3eXSP.png (NSFW)
Switching up the flow a bit. Keeping it loose cuz dynamic poses are hard!
Story so far…
https://imgur.com/a/9Ob1cy3 (NSFW)
cbwroses
And my ship continues to sail on the Fan Fiction Sea.
Decidedly Orthogonal
Sail?! That first panel’s looking more like a motorboat! brp brup brup brap brap brap brap.
cbwroses
Like thakoru said above, sometimes the comment and the avatar just match.
The Wellerman
? Yeah, love that action!
Really reminds me of the one with Billy and Ruth, but this is even better ’cause there’s more smiling! ?
? loving it already!
Rose by Any Other Name
Ah, going missionary are we?
This might be too advanced for Walky – or maybe not given that Dorothy gave him some guidance – but a really fun missionary variant involves the bottom’s legs folding back towards the chest so that instead of legs spread legs are resting upon the top’s shoulders.
Most of my tips are g-spot related cause that’s what works for me, so other mileages may vary, but legs resting on shoulders is great for g-spot stimulation.
milu
suggested:
Billie: “You know what you’re doing right?”
Walky (smug) “Oh yeah. I’ve done it before.”
Billie: “with Dorothy? SNORT. Allow me.” (proceeds to place herself as Rose suggests) (no shade to Dorothy) (but Billie wouldn’t know how competent Dorothy is, but would straight-up assume she’s better)
Yotomoe
Haha For no reason at all, I’d also assume she’s better.
Yotomoe
That sounds pretty fun and hot. I may give it a try!
autogatos
I forget this is still a common reaction for many people in this scenario. When you have a chronic illness you get so used to being examined that you just…stop thinking about it. At this point I’m just like the Vitruvian Man, like “here is my body, do what you gotta do.”
Sirksome
I can relate to this one. I have a heart condition, and once you’ve had a few major surgeries you kind of lose that sense of shame.
3oranges
“These extra limbs are causing a problem, are you sure you need them?”
cbwroses
Better to have a third leg and not need it, than to need one and not have it.
But the fourth one can go.
autogatos
tbh I could use an extra leg at this point. At least one of the ones I currently have refuses to work properly.
Opus the Poet
Same here, I have two messed up hips, one is bad muscles (scars from the repair that have gotten tight over the years) the other is from trying to stick my knee in my ear when I was in my 50’s. Both knees have been bad since my late teens, but lately my kneecaps have gotten so bad as to impede my sex life, they really need to go.
autogatos
Oof I sympathize. I had 2 hip surgeries before 30. Now my hip is acting up yet again and my knee likes to dislocate every time I try to take a single step without wearing a brace.
Ahhh joints.
anonymsly
Relatable for even non-chronic issues too, for me anyway! I had a massive back abscess last year and by the end of the whole three-months ordeal of healing it I got pretty comfortable with being basically topless while people measured, photographed, and poked me. The response to ‘is it okay if I-‘ was like ‘yup, go to town, medical professional.’
Cerusee
Yeah, I’m pretty blasé about being examined. I’m just like, whatever, they’re medical professionals, my body is only interesting to them in the context of whether stuff is working as intended or not. (Helps that I’m extremely ace and have no history of medical or sexual trauma, probably, but I think some of it is just my personality.) I was in my thirties before I was comfortable changing underwear in front of my sister, but when the surgeon who fixed my broken shoulder was politely asking me if he could lift my shirt sleeve to check on the staples, I was like “go to town, man” and I would not have blinked if my boob fell out of the shirt in the process, even though I was not wearing a bra at the time. (Very hard to put on a bra with a broken shoulder.)
autogatos
Yeah weirdly I am actually really tense about being touched in any other scenario. I don’t even like to be hugged by friends (no traumatic reason, I’m just small and people thought that meant it was okay to pick me up with zero warning all the way through my 20s).
But I’m just so used to medical procedures at this point that it’s like a switch flips and my brain goes into “medical appointment mode” and I become an anatomy class practice dummy.
autogatos
Nudity doesn’t really bother me either. I’m more like…I don’t want to make OTHER people uncomfortable, but I’ve sat through so much figure drawing class at this point that naked bodies are like a bowl of fruit still life to me.
not someone else
Yep. I’m calm, cool, totally fine, do whatever you need, riiiiight up until my brain can no longer dissociate far enough to cover up my awareness of an emotional flashback…
Regalli
‘Feel free to manipulate me however. My muscles are just tense like that by default, if you can get em to relax show me how.’
Yotomoe
I don’t go to the doctor very often but there’s nothing like a doctor visit to make me realize how many areas on my body I actually feel uncomfortable being touched.
Needfuldoer
Yeah, even outside doctor visits…
Huggers baffle me. They approach and my brain replays the “no touchy” parts from Emperor’s New Groove. There’s an access control list for getting that close to me, and you ain’t in that user group.
Thag Simmons