148

Hellooooo
Posted on August 15, 2018 by David M Willis

148 thoughts on “Hellooooo”

  1. Ana Chronistic

    “better go check for STDs I guess”

    1. Platypus King

      Check for ALL of them!!
      Check specifically for a bad case of “Ornery-ah”!
      Mike is a terminal case!

    2. FacelessDeviant

      Check for eeeeeevil!

    3. weirderthanweird

      Or restless leg syndrome

      1. Nathan

        GWS reference! ❤

  2. butts

    Oh my god Ethan is fucking adorable here

    1. Dierna

      Nah. Just Mike. 😛

      1. insomniac

        heyooo

    2. All-Purpose Guru

      It’s called “afterglow”.

      1. Annonymouse

        So how many Rads would that be?

        1. Tacos

          A radical amount. One might even say, “Totally Rad.”
          >.>
          <.<

  3. Jay

    I love Ethan’s expression in that last panel. It’s that perfect mix of bafflement and annoyance.

    1. Snippy Harold

      “I was much happier before I remembered this is Mike.”

    2. Chronos

      I took it as some measure of dread.

      1. Jay

        Definitely some of that in there too.

  4. TheHorseCouncil

    But is there a slipshine date? I’m asking for a friend >_>;

    No it’s me the friend is me..

    1. David M Willis

      I’ll start working on it when I’m next between storylines.

      1. TheHorseCouncil

        Thank you pornlord sir for this blessed response, i shall inquire no longer

        But seriously you’re amazing your work porn otherwise is always something to behold. :>

      2. butts

        WILL I GET MY DAMN ETHAN BUTT AVATAR

        1. Deanatay

          But Joyce butt is so fine

        2. Dark

          Dude. You know you can make your own Ethan butt gravatar, right?

        3. Amazi-Stool

          But that would not be an official butt!
          You could call it a fan-butt…
          It’s what happens when the butt hits the fan!

        4. Agemegos

          Did you hear the one about the lady who accidentally stepped backwards into a fan?

          Dis-arsed ‘er!

    2. Marsh Maryrose

      I can’t help wondering if a slipshine date is like a prom date.

      And now I’m wondering what clever ideas folks have come up with for their slipshine-posals.

      1. Deanatay

        Off by one letter – it’s a pron date.

      2. Roborat

        Probably depends on how the prom date goes.

  5. SailorCakes

    So much yes

  6. Some Random Name

    I think the only scary thing is if Mike is genuine about this; remembering his face from the after sex, I don’t think he is.

    1. Doctor_Who

      I kinda hope he isn’t, for both their sakes. I mean, I don’t think Mike is irredeemable or anything, he’s just a jerk, but he’s definitely not boyfriend material in his current state. And I’d hate to see Ethan make himself miserable trying to fix him, when he’s got so many better options.

    2. Comic.phile

      I think he probably is genuine, but for once has no idea how to deal with that because he wasn’t expecting to be and knows Ethan would never take him seriously.

    3. Reltzik

      He kept his eyes open when they kissed.

  7. Derek

    did Amber react like this when she lost her virginity? We know she tried with Ethan but that didn’t work out, but after she got over that?

    1. AeromechanicalAce

      How do we know she has? We know Amazi-girl has boned Danny, but amber’s so compartmentalized that might not count to her.

      1. Inahc

        iirc, amber did join in on at least one slipshine.

      2. Derek

        did Amber/ AmaziGirl lose her virginity to Danny? is that canon?

        1. King Daniel

          Her only relationship before Danny was Ethan, and they never got so far as actually having sex (in this ‘verse at least…the Walkyverse was a different story), what with Ethan realizing he was gay in the hotel room after prom.

        2. Rabid Rabbit

          Based on the Slipshine, it’s heavily implied that Danny was her first. And while Danny was mostly having sex with Amazi-Girl that first time, Amber did make an appearance.

  8. Stu

    “Ohhhhh sweet mystery of life, at last I’ve found youuuu!”

    1. Stephen Bierce

      *save me from digging out my CD of Ethan Sings Lionel Richie*

      1. Needfuldoer

        He might as well be dancing on the ceiling right now, we know he can’t slow down.

    2. TheHorseCouncil

      Young frankenstein?

      1. Platypus King

        And/or Robin Hood: Men In Tights!

      2. jeffepp

        Loony Tunes.

      3. Stu

        Yep.

  9. Ivy

    I’m calling bullshit on the “people singing and acting noticeably cheerful after they have sex” trope

    1. Bonnabella

      Okay, but what about: “Person has never felt comfortable enough with another person because of their sexuality and they just got laid” high? I know the first time I blew a dude I was super excited and cheerful. I was so hyped.

      1. Stepfan

        I’m with you. Idk if it’s the same for straight people but I was singing off the rooftops for a bit afterwards. It was nice to feel comfortable enough with the whole being gay thing to be okay with sex.

        1. Benwhoski

          I think it’s a fairly common thing for first-timers who for whatever reason had huge concerns about whether it would ever happen for them. I’m a straight cis woman but for a long list of reasons you probably don’t want to hear from a stranger, I didn’t lose my virginity until my 30’s and when it finally happened I wanted to sing it from all of the rooftops forever.

          Sex itself wasn’t life-changing, but confirming that I was _capable_ of intimacy was.

    2. Snippy Harold

      Eh, maybe if you could place this to the tune of I Just Had Sex.

      1. ego

        just got laid today, got me a pocket full of change

        with apologies to zz top

        1. Amazi-Stool

          Just got laid today!
          By your mother.
          For a nickel!
          Lost a pocket full of change…

    3. CJ

      Well, if the sex was good and your not used to them, endorphines can cause weird reactions.

    4. Eduardo

      There might have been an occasion when somebody in this comment section danced through the streets after leaving someone else’s apartment.

      1. Roborat

        I trust they got dressed first.

    5. David Doty

      Unless he’s doing it specifically to brag.

    6. Unusually Angry Hippie

      Usually I just shout WOO!, thank and kiss my partner, and light a cigarette. Then it’s just quiet for about fifteen minutes while I mentally critique my own performance.

  10. TrueVCU

    Come on guys, don’t kill the post- manipulation sex buzz

  11. AeromechanicalAce

    You know, I seriously hope Mike’s being genuine for once (or at least trying to bang Ethan’s internalized homophobia out of him), cause i don’t think we’ve EVER seen him this happy.

    1. butts

      Not in this continuity, anyway.

    2. C.

      Banging out Ethan’s internal homophobia happens to help Mike’s agenda.

  12. TrueVCU

    I thought any attempt to bless Mike would result in the involved priest immediately bursting into flames

    1. Mr. Random

      Only if they forgot the circle.

      1. LookingIn

        but holy water doesn’t work on him, you need someething stronger

        1. Tacos

          That’s where the corduroy pants and jacket come in.

        2. LookingIn

          they are prefect for knocking him off his game allowing you to find something that will work against him

        3. Abel Undercity

          Time for the holy vodka, then!

          It may not work, but after enough blessings, I won’t care any more!

          What do you mean, “use it on him?”

    2. Amazi-Stool

      Seems like this guide needs some addition!

  13. Passchendaele

    “meh, probably not important, now give me the deets. *All* of them.”

    (I kinda wanna know the deets too, so. <••> )

  14. Mollyscribbles

    I have no idea how to interpret Mike’s actions, in the present or in flashbacks. His allignment is Chaotic Neutral; he might be acting as a force for good or evil at any given time. When he states the reason for his actions, we don’t know if he’s telling the truth or if he’s manipulating people further through his words.

    1. thejeff

      Though given that in this scheme he stated the reason to himself, if he was manipulating anyone it would have had to have been us – breaking the fourth wall to lie to the audience directly.

      1. Fart Captor

        On top of that, both of the two people who know him best are convinced he’s got some shitty scheme in the works. They both clearly have learned from experience that Mike is “neutral” only in the sense that he typically doesn’t get all that invested in his attempts to be shitty to people.

        They’ve never mentioned anything good he’s done for either of them. Not even when they were discussing the possibility of Ethan hooking up with him, and Ethan was practically looking for excuses to rationalize doing it. Even if it turns out Young Mike was sometimes benevolent, it’s pretty clear that hasn’t been the case for a long time

        1. Emily

          Like that’s what really gets me: even Ethan and Amber don’t have any excuses to make for him. They both think he’s an asshole they just hate themselves too much to realize they can do better.

        2. thejeff

          Seems like Amber largely has written him off (other than the abs). She tolerates him for Ethan’s sake.

        3. Mollyscribbles

          When he tried to stand up for Amber to the teacher, at least, there didn’t seem to be a motivation to screw her over in the process.

          I’m pretty sure Mike, on some level, actually likes Ethan and Amber. If nothing else, we know he was able to easily socialize with the upper levels of school society, so he hangs out with them because he wants to, even if he could have his pick of people he likes more (or who are more fun to screw with. Either way). Heck, hanging out with people less socially isolated would give him the opportunity to screw with a larger group at once, if just making people miserable is his goal.

        4. thejeff

          OTOH, that was young Mike. It’s quite possible that he’s changed in the interim. A common theory has it that’s it’s the very experiences we’re seeing in those flashbacks that changed him.

          Less socially isolated friends might let him screw with more people, but those less socially isolated people might also find it easier to cut him off completely when he does so.

        5. Fart Captor

          Liking someone and wanting to hang out with them does not prevent people from treating that person like crap. It doesn’t even guarantee they won’t INTENTIONALLY treat them like crap

          Making them miserable doesn’t need to be his goal (tho it would make sense, as anyone with more self esteem would’ve cut him out of their lives years ago). If he simply doesn’t care if he DOES make them miserable, and is inclined to do things which have that effect, then that’s enough.

          And again, even if the things he did AS A KID that seemed nice didn’t ALSO involve making someone else REALLY miserable, even if that last thing he told Blaine was a complete lie, EVERYTHING about how Amber and Ethan regard him indicates having him on their lives has been negative. There has not been one time where either has mentioned something he did that they were grateful for, or something about him that they actually LIKED besides his abs

  15. Kris

    The evil plan is you end up falling in love and marrying him, thus dooming yourself to spending the rest of your life with Mike.

    1. King Daniel

      “They’ll fall in love and here’s the bottom line…our trio’s down to two!”

      1. Fire_daws

        Meh, hakuna matata.

    2. skittylover3

      truth

  16. caesaria82

    OMG happy Ethan is SO!!! CUTE!!!!

  17. tekjr

    You know, it actually makes me feel a little better that they’re at least aware that some evil plan is coming

    1. LookingIn

      perfect gravitar….

      1. King Daniel

        And yours just looks like an ominous zoom-in of the former….

    2. CE

      Same.

    3. Regalli

      Yep.

  18. Bagge

    I like to see Ethan happy. It suits him.

    1. David Doty

      That’s so cruel. You know Ethan can never truly be happy being happy.

  19. Tacos

    Didn’t Mike already explain his Evil Plan? To make Danny into a jealous, sobbing wreck?

    1. King Daniel

      He said it to us, the audience – no one else was in the room where it happened present when he said that.

      1. StClair

        aaaand now it’s in my head again.

    2. BenRG

      If that is the plan then it isn’t working too well, he’s too busy busking on the steps and learning to duet with Sal to be jealous of Ethan being in an intimate relationship with Mike!

      1. King Daniel

        I misread that second thing as “learning to duel with Sal” and my brain immediately dressed Danny in a musketeer outfit and gave him and Sal rapiers. (Sal still had the motorcycle jacket.)

        1. RicardtheDragoon

          Really? I was thinking of Sal as the Dread Pirate Roberts… which would make Danny Inigo Montoya. Huh.

        2. Bagge

          Yeah, I’m not betting on Danny’s hand with a rapier against Sal any time soon.

        3. Emily

          Well, that’s why he’s learning from her.

        4. Bagge

          Narrator: “Will the student beat the teacher?”
          *Camera cuts to Danny laying facedown in the flowerbed with Sal standing to the side, smoking and looking disinterestedly away*
          Narrator: “No.”

        5. Emily

          I am always down to subvert that gross trope where some incompetent man whose never even trained in X ever manages to surpass a woman who has dedicated her entire life to the mastery of X after like a week.

        6. Roborat

          Not even if he does it in a montage?

        7. BBCC

          Especially if it’s in a montage.

        8. Amazi-Stool

          Hello Rey!

          It was nice to see you in “Star Wars 7: The double standard awakens”!

        9. Emily

          Yes, because one instance of a reversal of that trope is as bad as all of the instances of playing it straight though I’d argue it’s not even an instant of that trope because:

          1) Kylo Ren comes off as a poorly trained and ill-disciplined Force-wielder (likely intentionally so on Snoke’s part) who mainly gets by on raw strength
          2) He was pretty badly injured before he fought Rey
          3) Rey has an established extensive background in melee combat and it shows in the way she wields her lightsaber more like a staff than a sword in that fight
          4) Star Wars handwaving shit with “they’re strong in the Force” is in no way new

        10. David M Willis

          she’s a girl who did something sort of well, it must have happened illegitimately

        11. thejeff

          Honestly, I can’t really think of mstraight though I’d argue it’s not even an instant of that trope because:any examples of that trope. Maybe I’m just blind to it (or don’t watch those kinds of movies/shows.)
          Examples?

          Partly because the “woman who has dedicated her entire life to the mastery of X” isn’t that common in itself and when it shows up it’s often something not traditionally “manly”, so the male hero doesn’t even bother.

          I’ve definitely seen the racial version of this, where the white hero effortlessly masters the natives skills to become better than their best.

        12. David M Willis

          lego movie
          ant-man
          neon genesis evangelion

        13. thejeff

          Hmm. Something got pasted into that first paragraph. Should be:

          Honestly, I can’t really think of many examples of that trope. Maybe I’m just blind to it (or don’t watch those kinds of movies/shows.)

        14. thejeff

          As for Rey: I did think she came off as too good at too many things without even enough handwaving for me. Less training and less previous experience alluded to than Luke in the originals, from what I remember.

          OTOH, as you say it’s Star Wars. It’s not to be taken entirely seriously and the Force explains a lot. Besides, I’m pretty sure skills like piloting are genetic in that setting. 🙂

        15. Emily

          Luke started out with literally no melee combat training of any kind and beats one of the most powerful Sith to ever live in a duel after spending like 2 weeks in a swamp with a tiny green man whose training is almost entirely spiritual anyways.

        16. Inahc

          I haven’t been paying attention long enough to notice it, but I do remember a really sad similar thing from an anime: girl who’s really good at swords, knows that once the boys hit puberty their upper-body strength will let them catch up to her. once main-character-guy works hard enough to beat her (at least he had to work hard?), she falls on her own sword and becomes his motivation to be the best :/

          oh wait, I think I remembered something: there was a “hacker” movie my friend told me I probably wouldn’t enjoy because of the gender bullshit, and I think the main character beats a woman at “hacking” there? (I was originally skeptical of it because of the terrible things hollywood does around computers, and hadn’t even considered gender)

        17. Pat

          Rey kicking Kylo Ren’s ass is not unbelievable (remember, she was well-established as being a good melee fighter, even if she’d never actually wielded a lightsaber), but it isn’t even what happened. Kylo Ren lost against Chewie and Finn and Rey working together.

          They didn’t all attack him and once, but they did all attack him. And he’d overpowered Rey, what, twice already before then?

        18. King Daniel

          Yeah, remember that by the time he finally faced Rey, he had just gone through the turmoil resulting from deliberately murdering his father, and had then taken a bowcaster shot (which, mind, had sent stormtroopers flying earlier in the movie) straight to the gut and was still visibly bleeding from it, and had then taken a lightsaber wound to the shoulder from Finn in the forest. It’s honestly kind of a testament to his stubbornness that he lasted long enough to confront Finn, let alone Rey.

          Plus, as mentioned above, Rey had been often-literally fighting for survival since childhood. And she was pissed by the time she and Kylo Ren came to blows.

  20. Keulen

    I think this is the most cheerful I’ve seen Ethan in DoA so far.

  21. Romanticide

    they just know their situation with Mike too well

  22. JessWitt

    Yay, good for Ethan!

    But don’t start falling for Mike now. Move on and ask that Evan fellow with the prosthetic arm.

  23. Alexx

    His evil plan was to GET HIM SOME AAAASSSSS

    1. Doctor Bees

      +1

  24. QueerCat

    Got that post-sexytime upswing going on. I feel that, Ethan.

  25. Not D'kcaw

    But he sings in minor key to remember that he suffered

    (Or, uh, will suffer, but I can’t make that fit the meter)

  26. BenRG

    Yeah, I’m with Amber on this one. Not knowing what Mike is actually doing is something likely to induce worry and second-guessing of… well, pretty much everything.

  27. newllend(henryvolt)

    Welp you’re just going to haft to cross that bridge when you get to it. For now just enjoy the ride.

  28. Justaian

    You know, maybe Mike does not have a agenda with Ethan and was just wanted to have a nice moment with him, just because he can be a jerk does not mean he cant occasionally just do something nice.

    1. Daibhid C

      Mike has specifically said to himself that his agenda is to mess with Ethan to destroy Dan, since Ethan made him promise not to mess with Dan, and he’s decided that means “directly”.

      Now, he could be kidding himself because he can’t be in a relationship without telling himself it’s a way of being terrible to people, but he definitely *has* an evil plan.

  29. Bagge

    I just think Mike finally managed to act on his crush on Ethan, but because of his stupid “too-cool-to-care” persona he had to frame it as some sort of bullshit plot.

    It worked, so high five, I suppose.

    1. BenRG

      That is somewhat different from my own initial idea but, since Mike’s flashbacks, it has become much more likely to be true.

      1. Bagge

        I suggested it a long time ago (when Mike first started to hang out on Ethan’s web forums) but I REALLY didn’t believe it myself.

        I was really surprised these last few weeks when the flashbacks started to suport that reading.

    2. thejeff

      If that’s the case, now what? Try to follow through on the bullshit plot anyway to keep his persona intact?
      Banged Ethan and got it out of his system so he’s done now?
      Keep banging Ethan, but keep up the pretense that there’s nothing more than boredom to it, until the thrill of the sex wears off or the dread of not knowing when the evil plot will explode drives Ethan to push him away?

      1. Emily

        As long as the outcome is “Mike is not rewarded in any way for his awful treatment of others and is in fact punished for it instead” I’m not super concerned about how we get there. If this is a trick and it destroys his relationship with Ethan irrevocably cool. If it’s not and he gets his heart crushed because what sane person would want to be in a relationship with this abusive asshole also cool.

      2. Bagge

        I assume Mike’s mantra will be something in the ballpark of “Whatever, happens I won’t care. This doesn’t mean anything to me. I’m just bored.”

        I don’t know to what extent that is true.

  30. thejeff

    Amber still texting with Walky?

    Or have they both been doing something else with their phones and it’s all a fakeout?

    1. Bagge

      I’m certain they are still texting.

      You can only convey detailed descriptions of Captain America’s dong so fast in a twitter conversation.

      1. Inahc

        oh right, twitter!

        …I just checked, nothing new on their twitter replies since july 14th. darn.

  31. Emily

    Ethan’s borderline ahegao in panel 4 is super unsettling.

  32. Deanatay

    Yeah, I mean, this chapter’s almost over, and still no Mike reveal?

    Dis gun be gud

  33. drakray

    Could it be that Mike was hesitant because he remember the threat from Blaine about “people you care about”, now he think he’s clear, not knowing that Blaine got himself files from Amber’s computer, which might include some MikeXEthan, that can then seriously backfire?

    1. Vulcanodon

      If Blaine does anything to Ethan, he’s gonna have a really severe Amazi-problem.

  34. WikiDreamer

    *pfft* ok, the alt title made me giggle ^-^

    1. Doctor Bees

      I’m on mobile (iOS). Do you have any luck viewing the alt text on that platform?

      1. Matticus

        Press and hold until you get the “Open link/image in a new tab” dropdown menu. The alt-text will be in regular font above the options.

      2. zombie

        also if you click the empty space next to the next/previous/latest/first arrows it’ll bring it up!

  35. SQUEAK

    I love how ever since Walky and Amber started texting, they’ve been continuously on their phones in every appearance since then

    1. Bagge

      It’s super cute! They both REALLY needed a friend.

    2. Reltzik

      …. so, like the entire cast would be doing if it wasn’t hard for Willis to draw conversations like that? (I think he had a comment to that effect a while back.)

      1. Bagge

        Darn kids today, always on their phones, ‘mIright?

  36. Doctor Bees

    Ethan, stop making me give you Flamboyant Voice™ in my head!!!
    …it’s pretty cute to see Ethan like this though

  37. ValdVin

    First Leslie, now Ethan. I’m already gonna guess what’s up the next time someone just starts singing.

    1. JessWitt

      They’re joining the uni acapella group.

  38. abysswatcher1993

    The good news is that Ethan finally got Mike’s butt. The bad news is that Ethan got Mike’s butt! He should be scared.

  39. Johnnyo

    In my head I heard Ethan’s hello in Dan’s infidagger voice from the Game Grumps’ Shovel Knight playthrough

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