but it’s a vocally abusive granddad, also if he’s as bad as she said he is, why’s howies first words to her not something like “Sis, run! take your lesbo girlfriend and jump out the window”
Haven
Maybe he treats Howie better? Or maybe Howie’s just clueless.
TheAnonymousGuy
then that make the granddad worse, if Howie’s completely unaware than he has to plan out the abusive actions, and maybe even doing things like subtle actions Howie thought was harmless when ruth new it’s real malevolence.
If he treats Howie better then that makes Howie a terrible person on the bases that he doesn’t stand up to their granddad for her, he’s 16-17 meaning he’s at an age that he ought know that’s wrong. if he treats Ruth like shit and in that same time praises Howie and he’s just so caviler about it he’d be as aweful.
Sazazezer
But surely Howie couldn’t be that naive that he’s totally, blissfully unaware, because if so then Ruth would essentially keep *everything*from him. She wouldn’t sort of maybe admit to him that she’s a lesbian or that she’s having problems (as she did when he visited) because she couldn’t take the risk that that would go straight back to the grandpa.
BBCC
She hasn’t told Howie she’s been having problems because he’s just a kid, and she (rightfully) told Howard she wasn’t a lesbian (She’s bi).
Stu
And in fairness, my brother has something of a… confrontational relationship with our parents, whereas I tend to get along well with them. Sometimes it CAN boil down to conflicting personalities – keep in mind, we’ve only heard Ruth’s side of the story thus far. That’s not to say she might not be right, but unlike Amber’s POS father, we haven’t seen any of Ruth’s family in any continuity.
Greenygal
No, she told him that she might be a lesbian but wasn’t really sure. Which on top of expressing an interest in Billie is more than enough to get her in trouble with a homophobic authority figure, but she doesn’t show any concern that Howard might tell him. So either she doesn’t think her grandfather will care or she trusts Howard not to tell him stuff.
BBCC
@ Stu – I really, really don’t think this is going to end up being a ‘surprise, the abuse is all a misunderstanding in Ruth’s head’ kind of storyline. Mostly because those are never done well and I doubt Willis is interested in writing it. Same reason we’re not going to learn Sal really was making shit up and the Walkertons aren’t really racist or that Amber is actually a weak ball of rage destined to be like her dad.
@ Greenygal – That’s true. If Ruth was telling Howie about it, he probably won’t care or Howie knows when to keep his trap shut.
Guairdean Beatha
Ruth could also be taking the brunt of the abuse to protect Howie. She may feel she’s strong enough to take it, but he isn’t.
Daibhid C
I’ve looked back on Howard’s past appearance, which has confirmed what I suspected: Howard is very close to being a complete idiot. I can well believe that he’s entirely clueless about family drama, not because Grandpa hides it especially well, but because he doesn’t notice anything.
And Ruth has no reason to worry about what he might tell their grandfather, because that would have been a stream of gibberish about secret lesbian babies. If it wasn’t just whining that he had to miss Game of Thrones because of the sportsball.
Sean
idk i’ve known people who took decades to realize *they* were being abused. “This is normal, right? This is how all families act?” Especially with the older kids. “Sure, I get punished more harshly, but I’m a role model for the younger ones.” It’s not unrealistic for Howie to realize he’s being treated better without fully realizing “no, this isn’t normal one-kid-is-the-favorite or babying-the-youngest-child or insisting-the-eldest-be-a-good-role-model, this is straight Golden Child vs Abused Scapegoat”.
On the other extreme there’s golden children who *know* the other kid(s) are being abused but are so genuinely terrified of what will happen to them if they stand up for their siblings as to suck up to the abusive adults instead. Being intentionally complicit in abuse is a very different thing from being too scared to do anything, and now that Ruth is an adult she at least has better chances of being able to run away without the police bringing her back. Howie *might* be able to pull off being a teenage runaway but his odds of success are way lower. Yeah, being a Good Brother would require him to stand up for his sister the moment he realizes she’s being abused, but there’s still a bit of a leap from “reasonably scared teenager” to “terrible person”.
Stella
Depressingly, this is way more common than you might think. Often it’s a bit of both–one sibling ~does~ get picked on / treated worse than others, often in ways that are more subtle, or only feel so hurtful to people with certain personality traits*. And there is often a sort of willful denial on the part of the other siblings, a mixture of genuine oblivious and not wanting to believe that a person who is good to them is not automatically A Good Person.
*for example, I know people who make a distinction between “loud arguing” and “yelling;” to them, “loud arguing” is fine, because both parties blow off steam, and usually there is laughing or no hard feelings afterwards, whereas “yelling” is mean because it involves hurtful things like personal insults and requires an apology at the very, very least. Whereas I and some others do not feel a difference between the two. Raised voices always read as threatening to me, and I’m liable to exit right away or, if I’m stuck, burst into tears as soon as any yelling happens, whether it’s insulting or not.
So, among my friends, those who make such a distinction felt often that we were too sensitive, or were trying to police their tone, whereas we felt often that the “loud arguers” were being mean or aggressive. Ultimately, I have been able to remain friends with a few “loud arguers” because we have come to respect each others’ POV–they make a valid effort to tone it down around me, and I myself try to use my words as soon as I start feeling uncomfortable. But, unfortunately, most of that friend group broke apart for those reasons.
I, personally, would *hate* to grow up in a family of “Loud Arguers,” and would have much lower self-esteem if I did (and was called over-sensitive because of it). This does not mean loud, argumentative people are necessarily abusive, but it is easily the kind of personality clash that I could see building up into abuse over time, especially if the timid person is a child.
davidbreslin101
Maybe, whenever Howie says “Game of Thrones!” it’s the only way he has left to express that the world is a brutal and hideous place controlled by wicked, manipulative torturers? That’s how I read it, anyway.
HeySo
I read it that Howie wants to strip naked and ride around on dragons.
..It’s a legitimate interpretation, that’s all I’m saying.
Damn you, Willis,
You paved the way
For other madmen
To make us pay.
Lots of madmen
Have had their say-
But only for a day.
Listen to the stories.
Hear it in the songs.
Posh ninjas
Don’t write the rules
And trucks don’t right the wrongs.
Hurts a while,
But soon the comic’s
Back where it belongs,
And that’s the way.
Still and all,
Damn you Dave~!
Yep, contrary to popular opinion, he is exceptionally good rollerskater who received nation attention for being the first boy to cross the US-Canada border on rollerskates. The dude with him is a mountie, just because.
The Mountie got his horse into the hall because the hall RA wasn’t very attentive.
Geneseepaws
Err,… Don’t they count as “service animals”? Not like seeing eye dogs and Real service animals. … But they are in service to the RCMP, the Raison d’nom “Mounted Police” is that they are on horseback and not in cars, QED= service animals; that would make them Squaddies? No?
Untrue when she’s a legal adult. And that was days ago – where’s he been, if that’s the case
Sageress
Canada
BBCC
She hasn’t lived in Canada since her parents died. About 4 years ago. If Sir lives there, Ruth’s been on her own for 2 years.
Inspector Hound
Does Sir live in Canada though? Ruth has said to Howie’s face that American sex-ed has messed with his head when he made some outburst about lesbian sex babies. Unless Howie’s at boarding school, Sir is probably in the U.S. too.
BBCC
That’s what I said – Sir doesn’t live in Canada, or Ruth would’ve been in a foreign country alone for 2 years, unnecessarily.
DinaWho
Try telling that to hospital that treated me.
BBCC
I’m so sorry that happened to you. And yeah, just because they don’t legally have to doesn’t mean they won’t.
Unless the student is a minor, most states expressly forbid colleges from telling even parents or guardians ANYTHING about the student without the student’s permission.
When a family member is part of the cause of clinical depression, do not involve said family member without discussing with the patient and the treatment team
Because Ruth opened up to the clinic staff, right?
crys
even so, situations like this are why it’s just not a good idea to bring in a relative unless you know for certain that they’re a safe person
BBCC
She may have – group therapy. And she strongly implied she’s got a family member not allowed in the building.
Optimal Optimus
Wait. Aren’t Ruth’s parents dead?
Sageress
As far as she knows
BBCC
Yes, but Sir is most likely her grandfather.
Safgaftsa
Was this implication in the Blaine arc? I think I vaguely remember it.
JohnnyO
Literally the reason I never went to the counseling center at my college, even when I was hurting myself. They could prescribe any type of treatment they want and make going through with it a condition of being able to stay enrolledl. Including group therapy with my family, which would only have made things much worse.
Random832
It was at best weakly implied (what was implied more strongly was that she had personal experience with the concept of someone’s relatives not being allowed in the building, which could have just meant she’s kicked someone out before) and today’s strip kind of puts the final nail in it doesn’t it?
BBCC
Since I seemed to recall Willis saying that she hadn’t been RA for very long, I was under the impression she was referring to Sir. Evidentially, that is not the case.
Not colleges in the US. We have to follow FERPA, which means that I can’t discuss a student with ANYONE outside the school except the student themselves.
Killjoy
It’s amazing that so many people who’ve been to college don’t know the laws that restrict how colleges can share information with anyone, including the parents of an adult student.
303 thoughts on “Tunnel”
BBCC
FUCK
DAMN YOU WILLIS.
factorsofx
The Willis Giveth, And The Willis Taketh Away
butts
Hey, at least it’s not another Evil Dad
TheAnonymousGuy
but it’s a vocally abusive granddad, also if he’s as bad as she said he is, why’s howies first words to her not something like “Sis, run! take your lesbo girlfriend and jump out the window”
Haven
Maybe he treats Howie better? Or maybe Howie’s just clueless.
TheAnonymousGuy
then that make the granddad worse, if Howie’s completely unaware than he has to plan out the abusive actions, and maybe even doing things like subtle actions Howie thought was harmless when ruth new it’s real malevolence.
If he treats Howie better then that makes Howie a terrible person on the bases that he doesn’t stand up to their granddad for her, he’s 16-17 meaning he’s at an age that he ought know that’s wrong. if he treats Ruth like shit and in that same time praises Howie and he’s just so caviler about it he’d be as aweful.
Sazazezer
But surely Howie couldn’t be that naive that he’s totally, blissfully unaware, because if so then Ruth would essentially keep *everything*from him. She wouldn’t sort of maybe admit to him that she’s a lesbian or that she’s having problems (as she did when he visited) because she couldn’t take the risk that that would go straight back to the grandpa.
BBCC
She hasn’t told Howie she’s been having problems because he’s just a kid, and she (rightfully) told Howard she wasn’t a lesbian (She’s bi).
Stu
And in fairness, my brother has something of a… confrontational relationship with our parents, whereas I tend to get along well with them. Sometimes it CAN boil down to conflicting personalities – keep in mind, we’ve only heard Ruth’s side of the story thus far. That’s not to say she might not be right, but unlike Amber’s POS father, we haven’t seen any of Ruth’s family in any continuity.
Greenygal
No, she told him that she might be a lesbian but wasn’t really sure. Which on top of expressing an interest in Billie is more than enough to get her in trouble with a homophobic authority figure, but she doesn’t show any concern that Howard might tell him. So either she doesn’t think her grandfather will care or she trusts Howard not to tell him stuff.
BBCC
@ Stu – I really, really don’t think this is going to end up being a ‘surprise, the abuse is all a misunderstanding in Ruth’s head’ kind of storyline. Mostly because those are never done well and I doubt Willis is interested in writing it. Same reason we’re not going to learn Sal really was making shit up and the Walkertons aren’t really racist or that Amber is actually a weak ball of rage destined to be like her dad.
@ Greenygal – That’s true. If Ruth was telling Howie about it, he probably won’t care or Howie knows when to keep his trap shut.
Guairdean Beatha
Ruth could also be taking the brunt of the abuse to protect Howie. She may feel she’s strong enough to take it, but he isn’t.
Daibhid C
I’ve looked back on Howard’s past appearance, which has confirmed what I suspected: Howard is very close to being a complete idiot. I can well believe that he’s entirely clueless about family drama, not because Grandpa hides it especially well, but because he doesn’t notice anything.
And Ruth has no reason to worry about what he might tell their grandfather, because that would have been a stream of gibberish about secret lesbian babies. If it wasn’t just whining that he had to miss Game of Thrones because of the sportsball.
Sean
idk i’ve known people who took decades to realize *they* were being abused. “This is normal, right? This is how all families act?” Especially with the older kids. “Sure, I get punished more harshly, but I’m a role model for the younger ones.” It’s not unrealistic for Howie to realize he’s being treated better without fully realizing “no, this isn’t normal one-kid-is-the-favorite or babying-the-youngest-child or insisting-the-eldest-be-a-good-role-model, this is straight Golden Child vs Abused Scapegoat”.
On the other extreme there’s golden children who *know* the other kid(s) are being abused but are so genuinely terrified of what will happen to them if they stand up for their siblings as to suck up to the abusive adults instead. Being intentionally complicit in abuse is a very different thing from being too scared to do anything, and now that Ruth is an adult she at least has better chances of being able to run away without the police bringing her back. Howie *might* be able to pull off being a teenage runaway but his odds of success are way lower. Yeah, being a Good Brother would require him to stand up for his sister the moment he realizes she’s being abused, but there’s still a bit of a leap from “reasonably scared teenager” to “terrible person”.
Stella
Depressingly, this is way more common than you might think. Often it’s a bit of both–one sibling ~does~ get picked on / treated worse than others, often in ways that are more subtle, or only feel so hurtful to people with certain personality traits*. And there is often a sort of willful denial on the part of the other siblings, a mixture of genuine oblivious and not wanting to believe that a person who is good to them is not automatically A Good Person.
*for example, I know people who make a distinction between “loud arguing” and “yelling;” to them, “loud arguing” is fine, because both parties blow off steam, and usually there is laughing or no hard feelings afterwards, whereas “yelling” is mean because it involves hurtful things like personal insults and requires an apology at the very, very least. Whereas I and some others do not feel a difference between the two. Raised voices always read as threatening to me, and I’m liable to exit right away or, if I’m stuck, burst into tears as soon as any yelling happens, whether it’s insulting or not.
So, among my friends, those who make such a distinction felt often that we were too sensitive, or were trying to police their tone, whereas we felt often that the “loud arguers” were being mean or aggressive. Ultimately, I have been able to remain friends with a few “loud arguers” because we have come to respect each others’ POV–they make a valid effort to tone it down around me, and I myself try to use my words as soon as I start feeling uncomfortable. But, unfortunately, most of that friend group broke apart for those reasons.
I, personally, would *hate* to grow up in a family of “Loud Arguers,” and would have much lower self-esteem if I did (and was called over-sensitive because of it). This does not mean loud, argumentative people are necessarily abusive, but it is easily the kind of personality clash that I could see building up into abuse over time, especially if the timid person is a child.
davidbreslin101
Maybe, whenever Howie says “Game of Thrones!” it’s the only way he has left to express that the world is a brutal and hideous place controlled by wicked, manipulative torturers? That’s how I read it, anyway.
HeySo
I read it that Howie wants to strip naked and ride around on dragons.
..It’s a legitimate interpretation, that’s all I’m saying.
Adept Arcanist
Damn you, Willis,
You paved the way
For other madmen
To make us pay.
Lots of madmen
Have had their say-
But only for a day.
Listen to the stories.
Hear it in the songs.
Posh ninjas
Don’t write the rules
And trucks don’t right the wrongs.
Hurts a while,
But soon the comic’s
Back where it belongs,
And that’s the way.
Still and all,
Damn you Dave~!
JayTheBookworm
*snaps with much vigor*
SCAR MAN!!!
AA, is that you? I didn’t know you liked DOA too. That’s so cool
P.S. Just random guy named Master Aquatosic on the Onyx Path Forums
Deadlinedance
I love you forever for this reference.
Doctor_Who
If Darkseid isn’t sitting in her chair, I’ll be vaguely disappointed.
Danni
preferably with a glass of wine
Doctor_Who
Like so.
Although I would also settle for him handing Ruth a Big Mac.
Thevoiceoftreason
OMG I’m saving both images for my screen saver.
Kernanator
He’ll be showing up with a video of her girlfriend in a porno.
Optimal Optimus
🙂
Ana Chronistic
o shit
HOWARD TOOK THE BUS
or a plane, maybe
…
rollerskates?
factorsofx
My bet is we’re about to meet the parents.
factorsofx
Well grandparents but still
Passchendaele
Yep, contrary to popular opinion, he is exceptionally good rollerskater who received nation attention for being the first boy to cross the US-Canada border on rollerskates. The dude with him is a mountie, just because.
Reltzik
The Mountie got his horse into the hall because the hall RA wasn’t very attentive.
Geneseepaws
Err,… Don’t they count as “service animals”? Not like seeing eye dogs and Real service animals. … But they are in service to the RCMP, the Raison d’nom “Mounted Police” is that they are on horseback and not in cars, QED= service animals; that would make them Squaddies? No?
TheAnonymousGuy
Just start playing the imperial march music.
carl320
He flew down on Falkor. Lucky him, having a Luck Dragon.
MatthewTheLucky
You should never have an adventure without a luck dragon.
Mr. Mendo
Oh no. Shades of Sarah’s backstory! PARENTS HAVE BEEN CALLED!
Well, not literal parents, obviously, but still…
crys
wait, who alerted (presumably) sir?
MM
Think they kinda have to notify you when your kid’s been brought in for suicidal urges.
Woobie
Not adults, though.
Ross
I’m pretty sure the school doesn’t? The hospital might have, if he’s her next of kin.
Sageress
Emergency contacts are a thing tho.
BBCC
That doesn’t mean they needed to invite him to this meeting though – she’s not even in the hospital anymore. Would that even apply here?
Sageress
Who said he was invited? He might have just decided to go see her on the day that happens to also have the meeting.
BBCC
In that case, if he’s not been invited to it, he really shouldn’t be in the meeting. That’s a thing between Ruth and her boss, not him.
Sageress
Well then we’ll just wait until we cut back to this scene in a month for an explanation.
Proxiehunter
Yes, but as much as she hates her grandfather would he be hers? I suppose Howie may have been hers and he told their grandfather.
BBCC
Untrue when she’s a legal adult. And that was days ago – where’s he been, if that’s the case
Sageress
Canada
BBCC
She hasn’t lived in Canada since her parents died. About 4 years ago. If Sir lives there, Ruth’s been on her own for 2 years.
Inspector Hound
Does Sir live in Canada though? Ruth has said to Howie’s face that American sex-ed has messed with his head when he made some outburst about lesbian sex babies. Unless Howie’s at boarding school, Sir is probably in the U.S. too.
BBCC
That’s what I said – Sir doesn’t live in Canada, or Ruth would’ve been in a foreign country alone for 2 years, unnecessarily.
DinaWho
Try telling that to hospital that treated me.
BBCC
I’m so sorry that happened to you. And yeah, just because they don’t legally have to doesn’t mean they won’t.
Killjoy
Unless the student is a minor, most states expressly forbid colleges from telling even parents or guardians ANYTHING about the student without the student’s permission.
butting
Shit
Shit shit shit
When a family member is part of the cause of clinical depression, do not involve said family member without discussing with the patient and the treatment team
shit shit shit
shit
Woobie
Because Ruth opened up to the clinic staff, right?
crys
even so, situations like this are why it’s just not a good idea to bring in a relative unless you know for certain that they’re a safe person
BBCC
She may have – group therapy. And she strongly implied she’s got a family member not allowed in the building.
Optimal Optimus
Wait. Aren’t Ruth’s parents dead?
Sageress
As far as she knows
BBCC
Yes, but Sir is most likely her grandfather.
Safgaftsa
Was this implication in the Blaine arc? I think I vaguely remember it.
JohnnyO
Literally the reason I never went to the counseling center at my college, even when I was hurting myself. They could prescribe any type of treatment they want and make going through with it a condition of being able to stay enrolledl. Including group therapy with my family, which would only have made things much worse.
Random832
It was at best weakly implied (what was implied more strongly was that she had personal experience with the concept of someone’s relatives not being allowed in the building, which could have just meant she’s kicked someone out before) and today’s strip kind of puts the final nail in it doesn’t it?
BBCC
Since I seemed to recall Willis saying that she hadn’t been RA for very long, I was under the impression she was referring to Sir. Evidentially, that is not the case.
butting
alsotooplus damn you willis
Cerberus
This!
Geneseepaws
I think the School has a obligation to notify, because they have they legal status of en loco parentis To the students.
Lin
Not colleges in the US. We have to follow FERPA, which means that I can’t discuss a student with ANYONE outside the school except the student themselves.
Killjoy
It’s amazing that so many people who’ve been to college don’t know the laws that restrict how colleges can share information with anyone, including the parents of an adult student.
BBCC
An adult doesn’t need en loco parentis. If Ruth were 17, that’d be one thing, but she’s 20.
Fart Captor
Oh, balls. WTF did you do, Chloe?