309

Rails
Posted on May 28, 2014 by David M Willis

309 thoughts on “Rails”

  1. Vivvav

    Oh hey a Community reference.

    1. GoogerGeiger

      What, where? Is it a reference from Season 5? I haven’t watched Season 5.

      1. Ninja Ned

        In season 5, the study group/save Greendale committee refers to season 4 as “the gas leak year” as a response to its reception.

  2. Jen Aside

    “You still haven’t explained why there are only like four comics, what’s with that”

    1. Plasma Mongoose

      Well it does explain why newspapers are dying, that’s for sure.

      1. JustCheetoDust

        Does that apply to college newspapers as well?

        1. Doctor_Who

          I imagine so. Can’t think of any group less likely to buy a newspaper than college kids.

          I went through my entire college career without so much a glance at our newspaper.

        2. JustCheetoDust

          I went through my entire college career without so much a glance at our newspaper.

          Shit, I know what that’s like.

        3. wynne

          Aw shit, you missed out. The security reports alone are GOLDEN.

        4. Betty Anne

          This was the highlight of being the managing editor of our paper. 😀 It was also one of the few submissions that didn’t have to bleed to death with red ink while copy editing. :/

        5. Pat

          You had to buy your college newspaper? They just put stacks of ours in all the buildings. I’m still not sure many people read them (I did, and I saw a few others around reading them when a new one came out…).

        6. JustCheetoDust

          You had to buy your college newspaper?

          That was probably just an unintended error. Colleges would rather fuck people financially through tuition costs instead of nickel-and-diming them over how they get their local news.

        7. madock345

          Our newspaper is entirely digital, they send an issue to my email every single day- whether I want it or not. Then I end up reading it even though I don’t really want to because I can’t just leave an email unread.

        8. Regalli

          I learned to just click on them and delete them. But we don’t get newspapers, just random emails warning us about scams that no one ever hears about outside the emails telling us not to buy them because they’re scams.

        9. Clif

          If you can’t leave an email unread, you are going to have a serious problem that keeps getting worse.

        10. Animal

          I went to my college library almost daily and read The Wall Street Journal. Seriously.

        11. Leorale

          I hope it wasn’t too much of a bear market! ba dum chhh

        12. Marisa Mockery

          Yeah, but that’s The Wall Street Journal. If I was into businessy things, I’d do that too….

        13. dethtoll

          And that’s why I don’t have a job.

        14. Quinctia

          Ours were free. Generally, I’d at least pick one up the days I was doing walk-in hours at my tutoring job. If no one came in, we’d all be doing the crossword.

        15. Opus the Poet

          AFAIK “college” newspapers are the ones managing the change from paper to digital better than the more “mainstream” papers. Look at IDS, the Daily Wildcat from AZ. Actually those are the only college “newspaper” websites I read regularly so I can’t say for sure about the other college papers.

      2. Jay Eff

        Jen’s and Plas’s avatars up there are like a set of “Before and After” pictures.

        “Why is Marcie smiling?”

        “See Jen Aside’s avatar above.”

        1. Plasma Mongoose

          +1 ^_^

        2. Ocbrad1

          +2

    2. Wack'd

      “And why does one of them star what appears to be a super-deformed version of my ex-boyfriend?”

      1. Wack'd

        Wait, no, it’d be Amber asking why there’s only four comics, nevermind, I’m an idiot.

        1. timemonkey

          It would still work considering they’ve both been involved with the same guy

        2. begbert2

          Though to Amber he’s not an ex; he’s a current.

        3. John

          Debatable.

          If you consider her two different people, Danny and Amber were never dating to begin with. If you consider her one person with two different names, Danny unwittingly dumped her at the bridge on Saturday. Danny’s making assumptions, like he does, but they need to talk out what their relationship actually is now, and they haven’t.

          Come to think of it, I’m not sure that Amazi-Girl being Danny’s girlfriend and not just a friend with benefits is anything but an assumption on Danny’s part, either. It’s entirely possible to make out with someone, even have sex with someone, and not be dating them. But probably not for Danny. Not sure about Amazi-Girl’s position on the matter.

        4. Lanval

          I think from what I’ve seen Amber is leaning a bit more toward the dating side of things but is a bit worried that her baggage might make things awkward. I get the impression that ‘benefits’ would go off the table at the same time as dating, but that’s purely conjecture.

          Danny meanwhile did get pretty close to a one… afternoon? stand with Billie and only stopped because he’d already started [or was on the way to starting] something with Amazigirl.

          Eitherway, I think the two started talking and relying on eachother a bit during the Amazi-girl/Danny phase and now I think Danny is right in his thinking that he owes an apology [he did try to be decent with her and her alterego though, so it’s not really his fault] but can continue to date Amber now that he knows he’s not cheating on her. Amber on the other hand may have other issues, but I don’t think those can be presumed from Danny’s PoV.

          I could be wrong but we do see that they have a lot of off screen interaction and they look like they are on the same page. It would feel wierd for Amber to suddenly drop “just friends with benefits”, though admittely not impossible, I’d just expect more allusions to it earlier on Amber’s side.

    3. Aizat

      Well, our 5th comic creator is a tad of a recluse. But hey, his work about a kid wise beyond his years and his imaginary lion is pretty impressive.

      1. LuckyStar7

        Wait, Hobbes is a tiger.

        1. Aizat

          I know. AU Calvin and Hobbes.

  3. Doctor_Who

    I still remember when Dexter found Patrick Duffy in his shower. Wondered for years what that was all about.

    1. Yotomoe

      Don’t even get me started with that love interest. I’m glad they retconned her to have a personality of her own and not just be “Dexter’s girlfriend”.

      1. Mr. Random

        I kinda wanted to see more of her. Even after she was fleshed out, she always seemed to get lost in the shuffle.

    2. JustCheetoDust

      Maybe that was the byproduct of fantasizing about shooting some guy named J.R. Ewing. But what do I know? I’m not old enough for that reference.

      1. Jay Eff

        And then they went and retconned Patrick Duffy into Brent Musburger a few years later.

        I still don’t know what that was about…

    3. Rybridge

      I still can’t believe they killed of Monkey Master and had Dexter survive boating into a hurricane.

      1. Aizat

        Heck, they brought Jet Zebra…de-age him a couple of years and turn him into a douche. The guy was and always will be a hero…and they piss on his heroic sacrifice. They didn’t pull that crap when Musashi or Kamina died, now do they?

        1. Farmer_10

          All of that pales in comparisson to what they did to Sensitive Scanner. They completely set back her development to the point she might as well be her season 1 self, shoehorned in a pointless romance sub-plot that nobody cared about. Not to mention she went all psycho in a jealous rage, unleashed the seasons Big Bad and nobody called her out on it.

        2. Jen Aside

          Am I the only one upset that they gave her the ability to create a humanoid persona of herself? I mean, that’s STRAIGHT out of a fanfic I read TEN YEARS PRIOR.

        3. Aizat

          Yeah…and it works wonder the last time they did. *coughTerrorPastacough*

        4. Rybridge

          The creators keep no secrets about dabbling in fan fic for “inspiration”. I bet those writers don’t get a single dime.

  4. Yotomoe

    That’s what a good reporter does. Lull her prey into a false sense of security.

    1. Jen Aside

      She’s also able to speak perfectly with her mouth full… hmm…

      1. LiaHansen

        Man, she’s even smoother than Cool-Joyce!

      2. Wack'd

        “Don’t dub with your mouth full, kid.”

      3. Rabid Rabbit

        I haven’t read ‘Walky [insert linguistic cancer here]’, but I chose to believe it expain how she earned that skill.

    2. AgentKeen

      Next step, become close friends, possibly after helping her defeat her arch-nemesis. Once completely assured that a trust has formed, pump her for all the information she has.

      1. Historyman68

        Linda Tripp her?

  5. Tacdud2

    okay Dorothy and Amber are tied for 3rd fav.

    1. Anarchy 101

      So Damber? Or Aorthy?

      1. Leorale

        Aorthy would be more appropriate if they were both in pre-med to become heart surgeons. Doramber, maybe. Clones In Love.

      2. Jen Aside

        Ambothy?

      3. Opus the Poet

        Dormber, obviously.

        1. anonymous

          I like Opus’ suggestion: DorothyxAmber = Dormber = DormitoryxNeighbor (phonetically)

        2. Jen Aside

          DormitoryxNeighbour sounds like a really weird ship.

  6. Ratso

    *Faux british accent* I say, Dorothy, old girl! Damn decent of you, wot?! Cheers!

    1. Doctor_Who

      Topping good show, old bean. Spiffing!

  7. John

    That’s very meta, Dorothy.

    1. Leorale

      Right? I keep expecting a lampshade to fall on her head.

      You did a good thing, Dorothy.

    2. Yotomoe

      People who fight the status quo are social justice warriors.
      People who fight the tropes of cartoons are Meta Knights.

      1. Wack'd

        Thought for sure they’d be “sequential art warriors”.

      2. Aizat

        Meta Knights? So every one of them wields Galaxia, wears a mask and have an awesome airship?

        1. Flipz

          Why do you think they do it in the first place? 😛

        2. Swerve

          They probably got shotin the face while fooling around with Brainstorm’s experimental “Meta-Gun” and started breaking the Fourth Wall, making pop culture references, and relating to life solely through the medium of narrative tropes. That happened to me once, and I spent a whole battle making Simon Furman-like quips. It was rather traumatic. There I was, threatened by Overlord, who tearing his way through the Lost Light, and all I could do was provide a voice over!

        3. Aizat

          Wait…Overlord? So, you guys fought against Devil Z?

        4. Swerve

          Deva-whozit? No, we fought Overlord, one of Megatron’s Stage-Six, one ‘Bot killing machines. Overlord’s a “.001 Percenter”, and Prowl wanted to develop an Autobot “.001 Percenter”, so he talked Rodimus and Chromedome into bringing Overlord, who’d been in stasis lock ever since Ironfist, Kup, Perceptor and the human Verity Carlo, took him down! I told you, you guys have been out of the loop! 😉

        5. Aizat

          Huh, you must be from another universe. Last I checked, Overlord was created by some self-proclaimed Decepticon God.

      3. JepMZ

        I thought social justice warriors are extremely offtopicers at tumblr

  8. Ragnal

    Yer good people, Dorothy.

  9. Khantalas

    Bonding over childhood cartoons is a time-honored tradition of college-age girls.

    1. Yotomoe

      And College-age boys.
      And highschool age girls
      And highschool age boys
      And Adult women
      And Adult men
      And everything in between.

      1. Drunken Nordmann

        I remember when there were good cartoons on TV.

        I miss those times.

        1. Aizat

          I miss the times when they have good programs in general.

        2. Drunken Nordmann

          Oh yes. At some point, I just turned off the TV and never looked back.

        3. Aizat

          Heck, I rarely watched TV nowadays.

        4. Yotomoe

          As a man who enjoys cartoons, especially the current ones, we’re going to have some friction.

        5. Drunken Nordmann

          Believe me, the cartoon situation in Germany is abysmal. They mostly bombard children with Spongebob these days.

        6. Yotomoe

          Is it at least the first 3 seasons? Cuz we may agree if it’s mostly the new seasons.

        7. Drunken Nordmann

          Last time I checked it were the newer episodes. I always liked Squidward – his German name is Thaddäus, by the way – more than Spongebob and Patrick because I could relate to him. After watching some of the new episodes, I just hated the latter two characters.
          I also started to just plain-out pity Plankton.

          If your villains are more sympathetic than the alleged main character, you’re doing it wrong.

        8. Yotomoe

          It’s become less of a comedy of errors and more of a “Fuck Squidward specifically” kind of show.

        9. Drunken Nordmann

          After checking some information about the last few seasons, I’m glad I stopped watching. That’s just horrible – and they show that to children here.

        10. Kaoy

          Look into Adventure Time and Gravity Falls. They both take about half a season to “grow the beard”, so to speak, but they become increasingly amazing as they go.

          Maybe look in to Total Drama Island. Not everyone’s cup of tea, and the first season or two are really only worth recommending for for one or two characters, but it can be a lot of fun at times.

        11. Kaoy

          Oh, nearly forgot Regular Show. Think of it as “The Spongebob with likable protagonists” Show.

        12. Rybridge

          I honestly like Adventure Time, Regular Show, and MLP: FiM more than most the shows from my childhood. My favorite shows from childhood are Spiderman, Batman Beyond, The Tick, and Rocko’s Modern Life.

        13. Drunken Nordmann

          One of my favorite shows was Bob Morane. It was one of the more serious cartoon series – along with Batman Beyond – and its intro theme was awesome.

      2. ninja_jesus

        …
        *ahem*
        not all men

        1. begbert2

          He does leave some wiggle room for men who are not adults, as long as they are not between adults and high-schoolers. So that leaves childishly immature men free.

        2. Clif

          If they don’t bond of shared childhood cartoons, then they aren’t real men.

        3. Clif

          “bond over shared” Sigh.

  10. Plasma Mongoose

    Does my sonar detect a new ship launching?

    1. Stephen Bierce

      “Love Octagons”

      1. Aizat

        …Somehow, I just imagined an MMA octagon…and people doing in it.

        1. JustCheetoDust

          There’s porn of that. Not talking about 34, I mean a live-action video with the theme of people fucking inside an eight-sided cage. Not sure if the scenes start with a legitimate sport before going off the rails, but…you know what, probably not.

        2. Aizat

          Why am I not surprised that exists?

        3. JustCheetoDust

          I guess it’s just a cash grab for some people. Apparently romance novel writers have gotten into the habit of using fighters in their stories.

    2. MM

      This will all end with Dumbing of Age Performs an Orgy.

      1. Jen Aside

        Everyone bangs everyone.

        Including Mike’s cat.

        1. John

          It’s my Walkyverse headcanon that the kitty Joyce licked in Roomies Redux was the same one that became Mike’s later.

        2. Gigafreak

          I’m…. not sure cats live that long.

        3. nothri

          The cat was abducted and infused with Martian DNA. There was this whole story that happened off camera. It was amazing.

        4. John

          It also explains how the cat got from Bloomington to SF.

        5. Jen Aside

          It’s an animagus, like Scabbers

        6. Jen Aside

          Also, that’s cute that your Gravatar is like Tard’s upset about her impending mortality

        7. Gigafreak

          No. She’s upset that even after she dies, she’ll have to go through this shit eight more times.

    3. nothri

      I think that you do. I dunno if I’ll ever take a cruise on this particular vessel, but I can totally see it happening. Makes things awkward for Walky and especially Danny, though.

    4. Kaoy

      Only if you count “New Used” as new.

  11. MrSirk

    Mind wipe seems like a reasonable solution for this situation.

    1. kodra

      I’m pretty sure there’s an entire long running comic strip about how self-inflicted mind wipes and willful ignorance are never a good idea.

      1. Kaoy

        I can name about half a dozen video game, a couple of anime, at least one movie, and numerous comics/comic arcs that would agree. That said, I can name nearly as many that disagree or leave the moral implications purposefully shaded gray.

  12. Inlaa

    Something about Dorothy’s hand in the last panel makes me think… I don’t know. It looks odd.

    This is a nice, warm little strip though. It’s a good change of pace from the relative “aw shit” sort of air from before. I honestly hope Amber appreciates this and doesn’t try to beat up Sal and company for a while.

    1. Inlaa

      Although, if Amber wants to beat up Danny, that’s okay. She’d better do that before he Dans things up again.

      1. Anarchy 101

        Idk, he might Dan up the beating by liking it, which would make it evolve into a SM session.

        1. Anarchy 101

          I could see amber as a dominatrix

    2. Yotomoe

      Also You broke my hand when you pushed me yesterday.

    3. MrSirk

      I’m sure I’m missing something but when did hating Danny become a thing? I know he’s oblivious but that’s his bit right?

      1. Leorale

        Dan-hate has been a thing for a long time. In the original universe, he was self-righteous, preachy, and uptight. In DoA, his major sin is just his major obliviousness (despite his good intentions).

        I think many folks in this audience relate to him very strongly, and kinda wanna smack themselves at his age, so they wanna smack Danny as an extension. Plus they just like to exaggerate it for the lulz.

        I don’t find him remotely offensive, myself, he’s just a clueless nebbish with his heart in the right place.

        1. StClair

          All of this.

        2. Inlaa

          Pretty much this. In truth, I actually DO like Danny here… but I find it very amusing to talk about him getting beat up. He’s the perfect target for physical abuse, or to be oblivious of things that would make everything easier.

          Also, yes; Danny in Roomies deserves to be slapped a few hundred times. I STILL can’t get over his last words to Ruth.

    4. Charles RB

      “I honestly hope Amber appreciates this and doesn’t try to beat up Sal and company for a while”

      …well. There’s a thought that killed the happy moment: Amber just uses this as an excuse to keep starting fights and Dorothy did the wrong thing here.

      DON’T DO, DAVE 🙁

      1. John

        I’ve observed before: Publishing is irrevocable, but not publishing is something that Dorothy can change later if it turns out to be a mistake. It isn’t “not publishing”, it’s just “not publishing right now“.

        And Dorothy may have agreed to pretend like she doesn’t know, but she still does, and Amber knows that. That may act as a check on Amber’s behaviour without being confrontational enough that she thinks she has to do something about it.

    5. Kaoy

      It is just sort of an odd pose for a hand. The anatomy isn’t off, but it does look a little odd posed there. I think it is supposed to be her offering her hand to shake, but it is seen from an unusual angle with her turned mostly perpendicular to the door way.

  13. newllend

    They REALLY haft to stop comparing their life problems to a cartoon, its starting to get annoying.

    1. Doctor_Who

      I have never encountered a situation where this didn’t help.

      Wanna see my “What would Starscream Do?” bracelet?

      1. Yotomoe

        He’d tell Megatron that he’s innevitably going to betray him.

        1. newllend

          Then take over for like 5 seconds then get his ass wooped.

        2. Yotomoe

          And yet Megatron will still trust him to hold his gun form.

        3. Aizat

          Well, that’s because Starscream is dumb enough not to squash him when he grab a hold of Megatron in gun form.

        4. Doctor_Who

          Never got that. Want to get rid of Megatron? Next time he turns into a gun, toss him to Optimus and say “Here.”

        5. Aizat

          And Megatron just transforms back into robot mode and headshots Prime. Wait…that sounds interesting.

        6. Yotomoe

          The best fastball special.

        7. Swerve

          Wow, you guys have really not been keeping up with the latest news! Starscream is now the duly elected ruler of Cybertron, while Megatron’s abandoned the Decepticons to become an Autobot! (Not to mention captainof the Lost Light!

          Just goes to show what a little perseverance can do; all “Lord” Starscream had to do was find someone other than Megatron to backstab, and then make Bumblebee look indecisive. Or at least that’s what I heard; I was busy fighting Chief Justice Tyrest’s Legislators at the time.

        8. Aizat

          Man..this is getting weird. Megatron is an Autobot, Luthor joins the Justice League. What’s next? Dr. Doom a good guy? Dr. Hell…wait…that was Dr. Heaven…never mind.

        9. Yotomoe

          The problem with that is it would require me to like transformers to keep up with it.

    2. Annie

      I don’t find it annoying, but that may be because I have a brother who, since childhood (he’s 30 now), can only keep a conversation going by saying “Oh! That reminds me of this one time on The Simpsons when…”

      I also worked at Disney World in college, so my ability to or not to relate life to cartoon characters is probably in question as well.

      1. JustCheetoDust

        I wish I did that when I went, instead of just going to the parks drunk after class and sobering up on rides (stipend well spent). The stories that employees had…

      2. John

        To be fair, by now, everything is similar to some time on the Simpsons.

    3. AgentKeen

      I get annoyed by myself ’cause I tend to do it with webcomics and no one I know reads any, and they just give me this look like ‘WTF have you been reading?’

      1. Gadgeteer Smashwidget

        this. So much this.

      2. LuckyStar7

        Story of my life, let me tell you.

  14. Khaner

    They call it, “Reset Button”. I hear Voyager had one the size of Rick Berman’s ego.

    1. Plasma Mongoose

      Sometimes you just have to punch your way through.

    2. Maveric1984

      Yeah, and it came in a skin tight suit and Borg implants.

      1. Plasma Mongoose

        “We are the Borg, we will ass-stimulate you, resistance is virile”.

        1. saltchocolate

          Approved.

    3. Aizat

      Ah, Voyager…where humans somehow evolve into lizards.

      1. MM

        They took that one out of canon!

        1. Aizat

          It still happened. No matter what happens, no matter how many good moments they have, that episode will still be brought up. Like how Hank Pym is a wife beater even when he did it once…and he was out of his rocker at the time. They will never let it go.

        2. Khaner

          Never forgive Threshold. Never.

      2. JustCheetoDust

        That tends to happen if you get into the sunshine acid.

      3. Regalli

        And have weird human-evolved-lizard sex because… reasons.

        1. JustCheetoDust

          http://i.imgur.com/58q4aAG.jpg

  15. kodra

    I’m pretty sure Dorothy is in fact way more of a fan of this show than Walky. Walky gets excited when it’s mentioned, but Dorothy seems more than happy to frame her entire worldview using the show as a metaphor. She does this constantly to relate to Joyce, she does it with Walky, and now with Amber.

    Sorry Walky, Dorothy is clearly the Dexter and Monkey Master Number One fan.

    1. Plasma Mongoose

      When she runs for POTUS in the future, being able to reference cartoons might make the difference between will and losing the election.

      1. kodra

        The only presidential candidate that I know of to quote a cartoon during a campaign speech did so at his farewell speech. Hopefully Dorothy finds more success in her political endeavors.

        1. kodra

          My Relevant link was edited out. If you are curious about the reference google “Hermain Cain Pokemon”

        2. zaratustra

          What, no president ever used “That’s all, folks”?

      2. JustCheetoDust

        So what you’re saying is, rig the Presidential debate so that Walky’s the moderator?

    2. Doctor_Who

      I can’t wait to see her inauguration speech. It’ll be 30 minutes of D&MM quotes.

      1. Rabid Rabbit

        Only for second term, though. She wouldn’t risk re-election that way.

    3. scabbert

      Bah. That doesn’t mean she’s more of a fan, it just means she uses it to explain concepts she thinks others around her are too slow to understand. Walky just never feels the need to do that.

      1. kodra

        I dunno. She sure seems to live and breathe D&MM in a way that is beyond even Walky.

        1. Gigafreak

          She lives and breathes it enough to bring absolutely no Dexter&MonkeyMaster related items with her to college, while Walky brings a toy, a poster, and a set of DVDs.

  16. Kater

    Noooo!!! Dorothy!!! Amber has serious mental trauma she needs to work through with a professional! Serious trauma manifesting itself in violent retribution! Don’t just pretend it didn’t happen! Get this girl some damned help!

    1. wynne

      Theoretically she can do that without breaking the Amazi-Girl’s cover. Amber does not need trust issues/unwanted public attention in the middle of her personal mental breakdown.

    2. nothri

      I don’t think jail time is gonna help her mental state any.

      1. Jerden

        She’ll just come out crazier. Increasing her chances of being arrested again. And when she comes out of prison again… probably not going to help.

    3. Annie

      It could be argued that a good method for seeing that Amber gets that help she needs is to be a reliable, trusted friend to her. Wouldn’t you be more likely to seek help if a friend you trust and that you know cares about you sat down and said in a polite and supportive way that she doesn’t want to hurt you, but really does think that maybe you should seek out help for *insert problem*. Maybe if she told you that if you felt like you needed her to, she would go with you to meet with a therapist/doctor/health services?

      And I think most people would be far more likely to seek help and be successful in their treatment if approached that way than if they were shamed, humiliated, questioned by police, possibly arrested, etc, etc.

      Sure it’s the slow and steady method, but it seems like a healthy one that has the highest chance of long-term success.

      1. OnnaStik

        Yes, everything Annie said. “Get her help” is not the simple thing some people are making it out to be. Amber needs to accept the help, and she’s not going to do that if someone tries to force it on her.

    4. 3oranges

      Probably what Dorothy has seen isn’t enough for her to understand this is about mental trauma. So she can’t be expected to push Amber to get help.

      After all her tracking, though, surely Dorothy deserves at least some kind of interview. Who knows how long Amazi-Girl’s secret identity is going to last anyway.

  17. Aizat

    Goddamnit Dorothy! I want to forget Season 8.

    1. Rybridge

      Lumberjack Monkey Master was a total cop out ending.

      1. caesaria82

        I see what you did there (and I like it), cleverly avoiding the obvious. A+++

        1. Rybridge

          Thank you good sir or madam!

  18. Coil

    The whole conceit? The whole concept?

    1. David M Willis

      http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Central_conceit

  19. Aizat

    Hey, whatever happened to the guy who wanted to catalog the entire Dexter and Monkey Master episodes?

  20. Kernanator

    Something about panel 1 Dorothy makes me think of Fortress Ominous and now I need to dunk my head in a bucket of bleach.

  21. addude

    I would have turned Amber in

    1. newllend

      Cold blooded man

      1. addude

        What if I was Dorothy and did that I would get some major credit with the news paper and probably got into any ivy league college I wanted. Amber would probably ended getting the help she needs. Win-win.

        1. newllend

          I dont think reveling the identity of 18 year old who used to dress up in tight yellow spandex and then went out beating up bike thieves and graffiti artist in the middle of the night is enough to of an accomplishment to get you into an Ivy league school.

          Besides I think Amber just needs to learn to manage her anger she’s not really as crazy people think…OK maybe she’s a little insane but who isn’t.

        2. Jerden

          It might help.

        3. Nightsbridge

          Depends on how you phrase it.

          ‘I uncovered a vigilante’ sounds far more impressive. . .

        4. David

          Instead of earning credit towards becoming president, Dorothy chose to practice being president. That way she has a batter chance of hitting the ground running instead of going splat when she’s elected.

          Wouldn’t that be preferable? I mean, principles and stuff? Seems reasonable, doesn’t it, in a comicbook universe?

        5. begbert2

          This isn’t presidential behavior; not nearly conniving or evil enough.

    2. kodra

      I would’ve tried to get her to agree to an in persona interview. Dorothy gets a story, Amber’s secret remains safe, everybody wins. Except Blaine.

      1. Aizat

        And a situation where Blaine didn’t win is fine by me.

      2. Lanval

        That’s actually a really interesting idea! Though it’s not off the cards yet, it could be in the next update. Besides, I think Dorothy knowing Amber’s secret identity will play a role yet; if only because if/when Amber crosses the line as Amazigirl, Dorothy will either have to reign her in or publish the article for everyone’s safety. Considering the whole Sal plot like, that might be pretty soon too.

        1. Gigafreak

          Sal&Marcie vs. Amazi-Girl&Dorothy.

          MORTAL KOMBAAA– err, MEDIATED DIPLOMACYYYYYYY

        2. LuckyStar7

          Flawless victory!

        3. gwalla

          Friendship! Friendship!

    3. Jen Aside

      I would have turned Amber on

      1. ninja_jesus

        I would have turned Amber out.

        1. begbert2

          I would have turned Amber up.

        2. Clif

          Mike would have turned Amber to the dark side.

        3. John

          I would have tuned Amber in

      2. Jack Finch

        I would have turned Amber Amberer.

  22. Mr. Random

    COMMMUNIITTTTTTTYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY!
    WHYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY!
    And the meteor destroyed everything right as I finished the latest episode.

  23. Bill

    Remember when we were kids and when something got screwed up we just hollered “DO OVER”???
    I see it still works in college.

    1. Yotomoe

      Kids? CTRL + Z, my friend.
      also CTRL + Shift + T, my friend.

      1. David

        Whatever happened to C-/ ?

      2. Spoon

        It’s more like New Game +, they restart with all their stuff and skills and experience intact but can now annihilate anything in their path. Amber will breeze through the counselling level. You can read my full thesis on my blog.

  24. Aizat

    Gasleak year? I called it “Mercury in water supply” year.

    1. Drunken Nordmann

      Now I’m imagining my water pipes singing Queen songs at me.

      1. Aizat

        You win this round, man. That mental image will never leave my mind and you just made me laugh out loud.

        1. nekobawt

          an orchestra of leaky faucets playing “don’t stop me now” at all hours of the night. your water bill will never be the same.

      2. John

        Under Pressure?

        1. Drunken Nordmann

          Imagine you’d want to take a shower in the morning and then that.

  25. Blackbird

    The Society of Danny’s Ex-Girlfriends begins.

    1. Aizat

      How can it be a society if it’s only 2 people? And since when Amber is Danny’s ex?

      1. David

        Since she put him on the do-not-call list.

        1. begbert2

          Was this before or after he spat on Blaine? Because after that I’m pretty sure they’re going steady.

    2. Gigafreak

      If we can get Mike, Ethan, Danny, and Nate into the same room, we’ll have the United Mates of Amberica.

  26. itsAlana

    mmmmmmooooirails?

    But no this is cute A++

  27. krismichelle

    best fourth wall joke ever

    1. EvergreenFir

      So I’m not alone in seeing 4th wall

  28. timemonkey

    Dorothy, you can’t solve the entire casts’ problems with imaginary mindwipes. I know we had Joyce dresses everyone day but we’re not having Dorothy fake mindwipes everyone day.

    1. Aizat

      At least she didn’t forcibly mindwipes Amber. Remember when they tried that crap back in DC?

      1. timemonkey

        I say if you’re gonna fuck with Batman’s mind at least tone done the crazy while you’re in there.

        1. Aizat

          And not add in the love for rock n roll. He hates it.

        2. Batman

          Even though I trained for years to be the best at it.

        3. Swerve

          Sorry Dark Knight, but I think Dazzler’s better than you at rock music. Not to mention disco, flamenco, Shi’ar mating dances, and the Hora. (Kitty Pryde taught her that last one. :p )

        4. begbert2

          I’m pretty sure Dazzler’s in a different multiverse so that’s not an issue.

        5. Swerve

          Four words: DC vs Marvel crossovers!

        6. Aizat

          Here’s news from that crossover: Cyclops kicked Batman’s ass. Here’s the picture: http://static.comicvine.com/uploads/original/0/7666/788195-cyckbat_32788366_925_1.jpg

          And I’m torn in the middle. Two of my childhood heroes duking it out.

        7. Jerden

          But Batman’s a loon in a crazy outfit! Tone down the crazy, and what do you have left? I’ll tell you, A UNFASHIONABLE BILLIONAIRE!

    2. Aizat

      Could’ve been worse. Could’ve been Walky punching the walls of reality and the shock wave retconned some events.

      1. timemonkey

        Head Alien already did that by messing with the Cheese.

    3. anonymous

      You say imaginary, but what if Willis actually mindwiped her at the last second? *conspiracy 4th-wall theory*

      1. timemonkey

        Then it would actually be productive.

  29. wolfie96

    if billy remembers anything this is gonna go south fast…

  30. wynne

    Dorothy’s so smart she broke the fourth wall. Also she’s a sweetie pie.

    1. kodra

      This isn’t really breaking the fourth wall. Dorothy is proving that she is a good person though.

  31. caesaria82

    Awww, this strip gave me the warm fuzzies. I think that’s mainly caused by the reappearance of the rare and elusive Amber!smile. That’s my favorite sight in the world.

  32. yitz

    now kiss

  33. saltchocolate

    What’s the opposite of “Damn you, Willis”???

    That.

    1. Jen Aside

      “Bless thee, David”?

      1. David

        Bless me, Jeph.

        1. anonymous

          There we go.

        2. David

          Thanks.

    2. Aizat

      “Bless you, Willis”?

    3. Batman

      “Silliwuoynmad?”

  34. DanielleM

    Aww Dorothy’s a good egg.

  35. EvergreenFir

    Do I sense a tad of 4th wall here?

    1. Clif

      Where? (I knew I was being watched.)

  36. Rabid Rabbit

    ‘That being said, if you ever flip me off again…’

  37. NF

    Dorothy is so suave in the 4th panel.

  38. Raibean

    Amber ask for her number

  39. Regalli

    Awwwwww, Dorothy!

  40. Idon'tcarenomore

    Nice strip.
    Pat on the back Dorothy.

    (Is Dorothy trying to shake hands with her left hand?)

    1. David M Willis

      well she is left-handed

      1. Yotomoe

        Which raises a question. Would you train yourself to give right handed handshakes if one wants to be president?

        1. David

          Oh, definitely. That leaves your good hand free for backstabbing.

        2. Scolopendra

          Actually, an astounding amount of U.S. presidents have been left-handed.

          Obviously, this is a conspiracy by the sinister witches. THE FEUDALISTS WERE RIGHT!

        3. Jen

          Oddly, there are people who get offended if you try to shake their left hand instead of their right. Which I know in certain cultures makes a certain amount of sense because hand washing is less predominant and you use your left hand to wipe (also why you shouldn’t eat finger food with your left hand in some countries), but I find it odd in our country where the left hand doesn’t have that stigma.

        4. Deathjavu

          Well, left-handedness = evil was a thing for several hundred years, so much like other cultural stains, I’m not surprised it’s still around.

      2. anonymous

        Yeah, but if Amber’s right-handed that handshake’s going to be awkward. Whereas Dorothy is probably used to right-handed handshakes. I don’t know, did her parents encourage her to fight left-handed discrimination by making her insist at every handshake that it be a left-handed handshake?
        Or are you saying that Amber’s left-handed and did I read it the wrong way? Also possible.

        1. John

          They can fist-bump instead.

          I’m more concerned about Dorothy’s wrist apparently being badly broken.

        2. Deathjavu

          If they’re sufficiently awkward, they’ll both flip around between handshake and fistbump right up until the awkward turkey is created.

        3. ninja_jesus

          I’ve shaken someone’s left hand with my right hand. Nothing wrong with dominant hands meeting, whether it’s left or right.

        4. Fritzel

          I tried that once, but I ended up just waltzing with them by accident.

  41. Paul Indrome

    It seems Dorothy is shaping up to be the Peter Parker to Amber’s Spiderman.
    Exclusive rights to action photographs and weird, weasel~y excuses full of holes when asked about them.

  42. Flare

    The 4th wall Dorothy, you broke it

    1. Dave

      Meh…it was probably like that already when she got there.

      No respect for that wall these days, it’s a cryin’ shame, smh.

  43. Kiggy

    Bravo Willis! 😀

  44. Mattyos

    huh…didn’t think you’d pull a Fabian Nicieza AND a Dan Harmon in the same comic….well played willis…well played

    1. Alex

      Mind explaining these references to someone who isn’t familiar with either person’s work?

  45. Darnel

    Thank you.
    I like Dorothy now.
    And anyone who realizes that she emotes the great signs of a good reporter,… will like her too.

  46. Thomas

    I’m not sure I understand Dorothy’s motivation. She may have taken pity on Amber, but there’s still the fact that a man has been hospitalized after being beaten up and – AFAIK – Dorothy knows nothing about the man’s rotten character. Is she willing to let that slide without knowing the circumstances? Or does she understand all this from intuiton? Or – conversely – is this where reporting stops for her? Matters best left to the police, understanding that no good will come of trusting her nose up Amber’s private business?

    1. ninja_jesus

      Or maybe we’ll find out as the story develops, NEXT TIME ON DUMBING OF AGE!

    2. Nightsbridge

      Or maybe she just doesn’t think Amber would beat up her Dad?

  47. Jesse

    I’m glad that ended well.

  48. David

    Dorothy is in open revolt against Willis.

    1. The Weird One

      She has gained self-awareness, and is attempting to break the cycle.

      1. Gigafreak

        I don’t know why, but now I have a mental image of Dorothy bashing Sal’s motorcycle repeatedly with a golf club, screaming “I THINK, THEREFORE I AAAAAMMMM!!”

        1. LuckyStar7

          Could you possibly draw this?

  49. Lancer

    In all honesty though, I think Dorothy’s also sort of looking out for herself. I mean, what is she going to bring up as evidence for her story? “So Amazi-girl threw this robot thing at me and grabbed these shoes and I found both of them in the room of this one shut-in girl.” I’d say she’s bigger on journalistic integrity than that.

    … Ohgod Willis don’t go making the next arc about Dorothy trying to find more evidence…

    1. Nightsbridge

      Keep in mind the last thing we heard Dorothy say. “Do you ever feel you’ve been given too much power over a person?” THat doesn’t say ‘look out for myself’ to me at all.

    2. timemonkey

      She doesn’t need more evidence. They have clear pictures of Amazi-Girl, people have already noticed the resemblance. Anyone who actually looks at her while wondering ‘is that Amazi-Girl’ is going to figure it out fast.

  50. maarvarq

    Aww, Dorothy, I didn’t realise you were that much of a sweety <3

  51. SK

    Wait, what? Is this Willis talking directly to us that the Amazi-Girl reveal to Dorothy was a mistake?

    1. David M Willis

      I wrote this at the same time as the reveal, so probably not.

      Plus, you know, four month buffer. Proooobably could have undid it if I’d wanted to.

      1. Jerden

        Well, you’d say that, wouldn’t you! Don’t think you can’t hide your shoddy riting from ME, “David M Willis”!

        Nah, I actually think this is more about Dorothy deciding that it would be a really bad idea to tell everyone the truth. For it hurts.

        1. Jerden

          It’s rather hypocritical for me to have misspelled writing, while jokingly criticising writing…

          TOTES INTENTIONAL! HONEST!

      2. AHR

        Wrote this as the same time…jesus willis that is a months worth of comics in one day.

        1. timemonkey

          Or he could have just written the two scenes at the same time.

    2. Clif

      So that’s what all the 4rth wall comments were about. I wondered.

    3. Beachfox

      Preeeeetty sure this is a “Yes, I know your secret, but we’re all going to pretend I -don’t- know your secret because I don’t think you should be outed.”

      This is character development, not a retcon. It’s just that it’s Dorothy, so she’s explaining it as if it’s a retcon. That’s part of her character development. Being surprisingly geeky about stuff.

      Now if Dorothy were to get conked on the head and loose her memories of the last 18 hours, -that- would probably count as a “I, the author, have made a terrible mistake!” retcon.

  52. dasbookpimp

    Dorothy is now Lois Lane

  53. nekobawt

    this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship…

    i hope.

    although dorothy befriending amber takes us one step closer to dorothy finding out joyce is knowingly dating a gay man. so that’ll be fun. 🙂

  54. The Weird One

    Dorothy is good people. She has ambition, but she just proved she’s not willing to sacrifice others for the sake of her own advancement.

  55. LAMP

    I’m not sure if I’m seeing this right, but: “The whole conceit”? Shouldn’t it be “the whole concept”? It’s a pretty simple typo, so maybe I’m just seeing it with tired eyes.

    1. Kamino Neko

      No, conceit is the correct word, here. (Willis posted this in response to the first person who asked that question.)

      1. Kamino Neko

        …or he would have if I hadn’t borked the link, somehow. https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Central_conceit anyway.

  56. AHR

    So Dorothy is now friends with Amber, who has a crush on her ex. She is also best friends with Joyce, who is dating Amber’s ex. Dorothy is dating Walky, who is Sal’s brother, who is Amber’s archenemy. This can only end in catastrophic hijinks.

    1. Gadgeteer Smashwidget

      I think Amber and the Daninator are going steady now.

    2. Chris

      Amber had more than a crush, but only because Danny and Amazi-Girl were sort of dating while he didn’t know her secret identity. But that seems to be resolved, more or less, now that he does.

      But don’t forget that from Sal’s point of view, Danny showed some interest in her and even let her borrow his DS. Even worse, he’s got a “study date” with Sal later “today” to help her with her math homework. *clears throat*

      1. Chris

        Grrr, edit: That first bit should be “Amber did seem to have “just a crush”, …

      2. Deathjavu

        Oh man, I just remembered that.

        Well, it’s a good thing Danny doesn’t get pushed around by stronger persona-

        Well it’s a good thing Sal doesn’t have a history of screwing her tuto-

        …shit.

  57. Mr. Morningstar

    I love your art Willis but something about Dorothys hand in the last panel bothers me

    like that doesnt seem like a natural way for your hand to be

  58. OmegaDez

    I’m suddenly feeling sad Dorothy is dating walky.
    He SHOULD DIE FOR MY NEWFOUND SHIP.

    1. timemonkey

      Or they could just break up. They’re both aware this is a temporary thing.

  59. Shadow12000

    I can’t help but feel that panel 3 should be saying “concept” and not “conceit”

    1. David M Willis

      i can’t help but feel you should read up like ten posts

  60. Philip Petrunak

    Kind of like the time travel continuity reset they did in the new X-Men movie, Days of future Past.

  61. Vree

    Haha mindwiping everybody, what sort of cartoonist would serioulsy use such a plot?
    haha

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