Can’t say I agree. I think making a big show of your remorse can become performative and counterproductive. If there is a conversation ongoing and you make a slip, anything more than a “Ah, shit, *correct word*” brings their identity front and center in a way that they may not appreciate.
As long as good faith is understood, big apologies all the time are more self-affirming than polite behavior.
If you find yourself doing it often, maybe that’s a good time to confront your assumptions, but people are human. Prone to error, but prone to correcting them as well.
Foot in their mouth in an adorkable way? 100% yes. Foot in their mouth in a “constantly being an asshole by accident” way? …Less yes, but if they’re sincere enough and it’s genuinely accidental, it’s not completely un-cute.
Guy who constantly has really strange opinions about The Legend of Zelda. Not offensive or anything, they’re just odd, like that time he said Hyrule seems like it’s based on Antwerp.
clif
I haven’t seen The Legend of Zelda. Is it any good?
Regret
The games are generally decent with the occasional gem, if the reviews by people I trust on gaming are anything to go by. Is there a movie? IF so, it is probably bad.
Taffy
Be kinda weird for a cartoon from 30 years ago to get a movie nowadays, especially one that ran for such a short amount of time.
S.R.
It has a lot of video games, though, and apparently all you need to get a movie is one video games.
Taffy
There are games???
Taffy
I think it’s a charming show. Zelda has a lot of attitude, and this knight guy (he doesn’t wear armor though?) called Link is constantly trying to get her to kiss him, but his fairy companion Sprite is like, super jealous of Zelda so she gets in the way a lot. There’s this pig wizard called Gannon who’s always trying to steal the royal family’s mystical triangle too, so they stay pretty busy.
clif
Who did the royal family steal the mystical triangle from?
Taffy
Gary Busey.
Aquila
Is your friend from Antwerp, perhaps?
If so, he wouldn’t be the first to assume that everything is based on Antwerp.
…which is not exactly what happened. She came out to Joyce after all. What happened is that Becky actually picks up her phone when she gets a call from Jocelyne. What happened is that Joyce made herself unavailable for family checking in on her.
Maybe. We don’t really know. We don’t know when Jocelyne first came out to Becky or why.
Though she did explicitly say it was because Becky was trustworthy and could keep a secret
I can picture it now. “I’m a little hurt you didn’t come out to me before now.” “I’ve actually been trying to do it since last year but you never answer your phone.”
*”See I figured out I don’t have to cause I’m great at deducing what anyone in the family is calling to tell me.” “Oh really, what did you figure out I was coming to visit for?” “Errr”
Throwatron
i genuinely want this so bad.
i also want the Joyce follow-up of “OH NO I WAS BAD TO MY FAMILY I’M AWFUL” just so Jocelyne can tell her “its not weird to want to disengage from this family, we live in fundie drama hell.”
I mean, in a sense, you could argue that his Sex Animal persona and behavior were a deliberate attempt to shield himself from his own emotional intelligence. He feared that he would hurt people the way he perceives his Dad has; he’s naturally very introspective, and at some point, he came up with a way to push down that introspection, because he was encountering an anxiety within himself, for which he didn’t yet have a rational answer.
If he wasn’t emotionally intelligent, he wouldn’t have needed to go so hard on Only Casual Boning, All The Time; but, he was genuinely afraid of actually introducing emotional or romantic stakes to his or any of his partners’ lives.
Bash
That kind of justification makes sense NOW, but originally he was written as very one-dimensional. It wouldn’t make sense for early Joe to have this kind of conversation in any context.
Throwatron
I mean, I’m not really privy to the broader Williverse, so I don’t have a frame of reference as to whether he was Just A Dumb Jackass in a different entire universe. But I would hazard a guess that what you said applies to the vast majority of the cast, too?
Zippotricks McEdgelord
He pretty much was a jackass in Roomies. The main difference in characterization is that, in DoA, Joe is usually the straight man and Danny the foil. So instead of the pair being “level-headed guy and his sex-obsessed maniac roommate” it’s “anxious guy and his horny-yet-insightful roommate”. The conversation after Danny turns down Billie wouldn’t have gone down that way in the Walkyverse.
Aura
I kind of agree with the very last part of this comment, but I don’t know that I’d say he was originally written as very one-dimensional and the comment above only makes sense with what we know now. It felt like there were signs pretty early on that this was something Joe had made a part of his personality to cover up his insecurities, even if we didn’t know exactly the origin of those (and we’ve known that for a very long time too, as well as seeing the emotional intelligence waaaaaayyy before he and Joyce got together).
Sure, Joyce may be making it a bit about her reactions. But she cares and she has good intentions and tbh that’s all I’d ever want from my sibling. The minutiae don’t need to be sweated.
Basically, she’s hyper-focusing on it because its a big thing that just happened in her life, and while its not all about her, it is at least a little bit involving her, and she’s at least somewhat aware that her sister was taking a risk coming out at all.
Basically, she’s overcorrecting, and realizing that on being gently pushed. She’s doing fine, just, you know, needs a gentle push on occasion.
Plus, like…I can’t possibly think of any underlying reason, why Joyce could have internalized that making absolutely sure you over-perform your emotions, to be properly understood and valued was a normal social behavior that everybody was doing, all the time XD
“This isn’t a healthy expectation for you to have of yourself and it doesn’t actually help your sister the way you want it to” is a bit more than sweating minutae. Yes, she’s got the important bit down, but it wouldn’t hurt for her to have a couple more bits.
Well we know Joyce is into ass play and being crushed, likely also big boobs.
Becky is a huge sub. Give her orders and she melts.
Dina seems like a dom on the surface but I think that is mostly because Becky’s reactions entertain her. I think she likes to study based on the things she said to Joe once.
We know Jennifer and Ruth like rough play. Those girls need to develop a safety word at least for the safety of future partners.
Sal? Surprisingly boring maybe? We more know what she’s not into. Maybe someone with a slipshine subscription can give some insights.
I think Dorothy is secretly the dom based on easily she falls into telling people what to do.
We know Sarah likes tall even if she’s coming around to the idea of short kings. At the right angle everyone can be a giant! Lets put macrophillia in there too!
These are just some I can think of off the top of my head. Anyone else got more?
Eh, enjoying deep pressure is really common for autistic and otherwise neurodivergent folks. It’s great for getting one’s brain to chill out, and tends to produce a feeling of calm. That might not be a kink so much as a plain ol’ “this feels nice”.
Sirksome
What about her wanting him to crush her flat with his ass like a rolling pin? I think she said something close to that once either to him or Dorothy. Oh! I also forgot to put voyeurism down for Joyce kinks. She really wants to watch some people go at it.
Joe, maybe don’t discuss the subject of fetishes in front of Joyce, that’s advanced stuff, she’s still very new to this. And with her level of…enthusiasm, you may start getting some very odd requests you aren’t prepared to deal with.
I feel like a looooot of people need to be told this. (Not exclusively about trans stuff, but *very* much about trans stuff. Seriously, a quick self-correction and moving on is so much better than a minute-long litany of apologies until *you* end up trying to make *them* feel better. T_T)
This exactly. Like, I’m not stupid; I know that overwriting habitual patterns of thought and speech take time. You’re not gonna get it right away, and that’s completely normal and not a sign of any moral failing. Hell, I’m trans and it takes me time to get new names and pronouns into my head! So, trust me, I get it – mistakes happen. What matters to me much more is that you believe my new identity is valid and real, and that you care enough to put in the effort to start changing your habits. And, as it happens, as long as you’re doing those two things you WILL get used to new names and pronouns. They’ll become second nature.
I know this might run counter to public trans pushback against deadnaming and misgendering, but the stuff we push back on is when people do that shit on purpose to hurt us, or refuse to put in the work to change their thoughts and/or correct themselves because they don’t care. What we get angry about is the malice or apathy much more than the misgendering itself.
So like – seriously, to all cis people, please chill out. The self-flagellation is just kind of exhausting. And as long as you correct yourself and get better at it over time, I know I’ll be more than happy with that, and I think most other trans people will be too.
Self flagellation is actually a great way of putting it, it’s the result of following this widespread unspoken rule where being punished for doing wrong is an indispensable step in keeping moral order, it’s assumed we want/need this to happen but that’s really just projection lol
Yeah… I’m a straightwhitecismale, but this reminds me of when a (female-shaped, it’s complicated) friend of mine started telling people about what their ex had done to them this one time. (Don’t feel like writing it, but it’s a four-letter word that starts with R.) Apparently most of the times they told guys about it, they ended up having to console the guy, because he felt so terrible about it, even if he couldn’t have done anything. As they said, that reaction made sense when it was their dad they’d just told. Everyone else, though…
I’ve always been bizarrely proud of not having been one of those guys, and somewhat disgusted at that pride, and even more disturbed that I should be the exception. I mean, sure, it’s great that those guys felt horrible on hearing about the event, but, well, keep that to yourself, will you? Your existential angst is your own, the person telling you this is more important than you at the moment. Go whine about how you couldn’t be a knight in shining armor elsewhere, christ…
Yeah, no, I think you’re being way too harsh on most dudes.
The reality of being most guys is, you don’t get invited into the inner places of your friends’ lives, because most of your friends are guys. Most of your socializing, even with your close friends and family, ends up being done through that masculine lens, and that means when someone is finally letting you in, you aren’t prepared for that emotional situation, because you have basically zero practice; after all, you’re Not a Girl, so people around you don’t talk to you very much about their feelings, or their inner lives.
I still remember the first time someone close to me, shared something like that with me. She was my best friend at the time, ever. So, I can’t express to you, how much more intense the feeling of white-hot rage was, compared to just about everything I’ve ever felt. I probably could have cried, if it wasn’t so goddamned infuriating, and unfair.
I think you’re just being very cruel to those teen boys, for being teen boys. I’d like to think I was at least somewhat supportive, but even just learning about that event in someone else’s life, I’m sure I was not at my most emotionally intelligent, but I sure as shit didn’t “make it about me;” but, where I really disagree, is you characterizing someone’s involuntary emotional response to overwhelming news, as being them “making it about them.”
Yeah, it would be better if they recognized the overarching social situation that they were being included in as a matter of course, and acted perfectly supportive of it, like a character in a movie. But they’re also human beings with normal human responses to traumatic news. After all, at least in my case, my friend was assaulted by some rando who made no attempt to contact her ever again; it’s not like, in comparison to the case of you and your friend’s friend group, that the assailant was somebody that you all knew personally, and possibly still had to interact with. Some of those guys you’re judging, also just learned that a person they thought they could trust, who was still active in their lives, was the most untrustworthy kind of person. There are lots of things about that news, that could emotionally overwhelm someone naturally.
At the end of the day, you’re projecting the maximum amount of malice onto a bunch of dudes that performed a difficult social interaction worse than you think they should have. And they did perform it worse than what was probably expected of them. But I can’t comprehend how you make the leap, to their emotions being about their own relationship with their masculinity, or about their own personal narrative as a man.
If my friend got hit by a fucking car, nobody would say that I’m crying because I’m making it about me. I’m crying because my friend got hit by a car, and that’s scary, and sad. Crying is a normal emotional response to that situation. It’s not because I’m a socially-incompetent ball of toxic masculinity who only feels bad that I wasn’t present to fist-fight the goddamned car. It’s because my friend got fucking hurt, and I have feelings about it.
157 thoughts on “Super proud”
Ana Chronistic
OTOH, freaking out is a great tool for reinforcing what you’ve learned! /s
Nymph
True, nothing breeds new habits like terror and self-recrimination.
NGPZ
and if it’s not working, it can only ever mean you aren’t trying hard enough! /s
RoyanRannedos
Christian fundamentalism in a nutshell.
Abdomino
Can’t say I agree. I think making a big show of your remorse can become performative and counterproductive. If there is a conversation ongoing and you make a slip, anything more than a “Ah, shit, *correct word*” brings their identity front and center in a way that they may not appreciate.
As long as good faith is understood, big apologies all the time are more self-affirming than polite behavior.
If you find yourself doing it often, maybe that’s a good time to confront your assumptions, but people are human. Prone to error, but prone to correcting them as well.
NGPZ
hot tip:
when someone appends a sentence with /s
that indicates they are being sarcastic
Abdomino
I am so incredibly tired I didn’t even see it. My bad!
Taffy
You’re going to prison.
Delavan
Jail for Abdomino! Jail for 10,000 years!
Michael Steamweed
Dang! I thought that meant “sexy voice”.
I mistaked! /s
Disastroid
Well now I’m just reading that in a sexy voice.
Rook
I didn’t even know /s was suppose to be sarcastic.
Wizard
If you want to be a little more obvious [sarc]TEXT[/sarc] is also acceptable.
Reltzik
I know the joke was about literal feet, but I’m sure some find a guy tripping over his own words all the time cute.
aeromechanicalace
Dorothy definitely does.
ian livs
Foot in their mouth in an adorkable way? 100% yes. Foot in their mouth in a “constantly being an asshole by accident” way? …Less yes, but if they’re sincere enough and it’s genuinely accidental, it’s not completely un-cute.
Taffy
Guy who constantly has really strange opinions about The Legend of Zelda. Not offensive or anything, they’re just odd, like that time he said Hyrule seems like it’s based on Antwerp.
clif
I haven’t seen The Legend of Zelda. Is it any good?
Regret
The games are generally decent with the occasional gem, if the reviews by people I trust on gaming are anything to go by. Is there a movie? IF so, it is probably bad.
Taffy
Be kinda weird for a cartoon from 30 years ago to get a movie nowadays, especially one that ran for such a short amount of time.
S.R.
It has a lot of video games, though, and apparently all you need to get a movie is one video games.
Taffy
There are games???
Taffy
I think it’s a charming show. Zelda has a lot of attitude, and this knight guy (he doesn’t wear armor though?) called Link is constantly trying to get her to kiss him, but his fairy companion Sprite is like, super jealous of Zelda so she gets in the way a lot. There’s this pig wizard called Gannon who’s always trying to steal the royal family’s mystical triangle too, so they stay pretty busy.
clif
Who did the royal family steal the mystical triangle from?
Taffy
Gary Busey.
Aquila
Is your friend from Antwerp, perhaps?
If so, he wouldn’t be the first to assume that everything is based on Antwerp.
Taffy
Which friend? I just invented a guy.
TrueVCU
Isn’t this basically how Hugh Grant started his career?
Yet_One_More_Idiot
Feeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeet
As opposed to *inhales*
FAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAACE
Aura
Oohhhhhh wow that’s a deep cut, that went right past me in the alt text
Sirksome
Must sting learning your sister didn’t trust you. Understandable but it hurts.
Thomas
…which is not exactly what happened. She came out to Joyce after all. What happened is that Becky actually picks up her phone when she gets a call from Jocelyne. What happened is that Joyce made herself unavailable for family checking in on her.
MK15
That definitely makes sense. I wonder how many years back now that month-ago call was ?
Needfuldoer
Joyce sent her to voicemail in November 2021 our time.
https://www.dumbingofage.com/scanner/
thejeff
Maybe. We don’t really know. We don’t know when Jocelyne first came out to Becky or why.
Though she did explicitly say it was because Becky was trustworthy and could keep a secret
Amelie Wikström
I can picture it now. “I’m a little hurt you didn’t come out to me before now.” “I’ve actually been trying to do it since last year but you never answer your phone.”
Amelie Wikström
*”See I figured out I don’t have to cause I’m great at deducing what anyone in the family is calling to tell me.” “Oh really, what did you figure out I was coming to visit for?” “Errr”
Throwatron
i genuinely want this so bad.
i also want the Joyce follow-up of “OH NO I WAS BAD TO MY FAMILY I’M AWFUL” just so Jocelyne can tell her “its not weird to want to disengage from this family, we live in fundie drama hell.”
Davus
Joe is understanding things very well. I should give him credit here.
AK
Joe is generally a shockingly emotionally intelligent person for the kind of identity he chose to take up.
Throwatron
I mean, in a sense, you could argue that his Sex Animal persona and behavior were a deliberate attempt to shield himself from his own emotional intelligence. He feared that he would hurt people the way he perceives his Dad has; he’s naturally very introspective, and at some point, he came up with a way to push down that introspection, because he was encountering an anxiety within himself, for which he didn’t yet have a rational answer.
If he wasn’t emotionally intelligent, he wouldn’t have needed to go so hard on Only Casual Boning, All The Time; but, he was genuinely afraid of actually introducing emotional or romantic stakes to his or any of his partners’ lives.
Bash
That kind of justification makes sense NOW, but originally he was written as very one-dimensional. It wouldn’t make sense for early Joe to have this kind of conversation in any context.
Throwatron
I mean, I’m not really privy to the broader Williverse, so I don’t have a frame of reference as to whether he was Just A Dumb Jackass in a different entire universe. But I would hazard a guess that what you said applies to the vast majority of the cast, too?
Zippotricks McEdgelord
He pretty much was a jackass in Roomies. The main difference in characterization is that, in DoA, Joe is usually the straight man and Danny the foil. So instead of the pair being “level-headed guy and his sex-obsessed maniac roommate” it’s “anxious guy and his horny-yet-insightful roommate”. The conversation after Danny turns down Billie wouldn’t have gone down that way in the Walkyverse.
Aura
I kind of agree with the very last part of this comment, but I don’t know that I’d say he was originally written as very one-dimensional and the comment above only makes sense with what we know now. It felt like there were signs pretty early on that this was something Joe had made a part of his personality to cover up his insecurities, even if we didn’t know exactly the origin of those (and we’ve known that for a very long time too, as well as seeing the emotional intelligence waaaaaayyy before he and Joyce got together).
Amara
Sure, Joyce may be making it a bit about her reactions. But she cares and she has good intentions and tbh that’s all I’d ever want from my sibling. The minutiae don’t need to be sweated.
Wraithy2773
Basically, she’s hyper-focusing on it because its a big thing that just happened in her life, and while its not all about her, it is at least a little bit involving her, and she’s at least somewhat aware that her sister was taking a risk coming out at all.
Basically, she’s overcorrecting, and realizing that on being gently pushed. She’s doing fine, just, you know, needs a gentle push on occasion.
Throwatron
Plus, like…I can’t possibly think of any underlying reason, why Joyce could have internalized that making absolutely sure you over-perform your emotions, to be properly understood and valued was a normal social behavior that everybody was doing, all the time XD
Nymph
This. This right here. This is the thing.
S.R.
“This isn’t a healthy expectation for you to have of yourself and it doesn’t actually help your sister the way you want it to” is a bit more than sweating minutae. Yes, she’s got the important bit down, but it wouldn’t hurt for her to have a couple more bits.
Liara
Yeah no, if you made my coming out all about how great you are reacting to it, then the minutiae absolutely should be sweated
Nono
Thanks for making me wonder what fetishes the cast have now, thanks.
Though considering Ethan’s whole deal with Roadblock I have to assume name-calling is one of his.
Michael Steamweed
Butts and feet.
It’s butts and feet all the way down.
Dave
Based on that one strip where he confesses a fantasy of being a drop of sweat evaporating off of Ethan’s body, I diagnose Danny with vore.
Sirksome
Well we know Joyce is into ass play and being crushed, likely also big boobs.
Becky is a huge sub. Give her orders and she melts.
Dina seems like a dom on the surface but I think that is mostly because Becky’s reactions entertain her. I think she likes to study based on the things she said to Joe once.
We know Jennifer and Ruth like rough play. Those girls need to develop a safety word at least for the safety of future partners.
Sal? Surprisingly boring maybe? We more know what she’s not into. Maybe someone with a slipshine subscription can give some insights.
I think Dorothy is secretly the dom based on easily she falls into telling people what to do.
We know Sarah likes tall even if she’s coming around to the idea of short kings. At the right angle everyone can be a giant! Lets put macrophillia in there too!
These are just some I can think of off the top of my head. Anyone else got more?
S.R.
Eh, enjoying deep pressure is really common for autistic and otherwise neurodivergent folks. It’s great for getting one’s brain to chill out, and tends to produce a feeling of calm. That might not be a kink so much as a plain ol’ “this feels nice”.
Sirksome
What about her wanting him to crush her flat with his ass like a rolling pin? I think she said something close to that once either to him or Dorothy. Oh! I also forgot to put voyeurism down for Joyce kinks. She really wants to watch some people go at it.
Deanatay
Joe! Joe gets it.
Deanatay
Panel 2 Joe speaks to the ENTIRE INTERNET.
RassilonTDavros
Presumably, Joe has learned this as a result of meeting basically every girl who’s ever been into Danny.
clif
Joe only recently met Amazigirl.
Michael Steamweed
What do you mean? He’s known Sal since last semester.
clif
There is no “You win the Internets” button so I reported you instead.
Michael Steamweed
😀
Doctor_Who
Joe, maybe don’t discuss the subject of fetishes in front of Joyce, that’s advanced stuff, she’s still very new to this. And with her level of…enthusiasm, you may start getting some very odd requests you aren’t prepared to deal with.
ian livs
I feel like a looooot of people need to be told this. (Not exclusively about trans stuff, but *very* much about trans stuff. Seriously, a quick self-correction and moving on is so much better than a minute-long litany of apologies until *you* end up trying to make *them* feel better. T_T)
V
This exactly. Like, I’m not stupid; I know that overwriting habitual patterns of thought and speech take time. You’re not gonna get it right away, and that’s completely normal and not a sign of any moral failing. Hell, I’m trans and it takes me time to get new names and pronouns into my head! So, trust me, I get it – mistakes happen. What matters to me much more is that you believe my new identity is valid and real, and that you care enough to put in the effort to start changing your habits. And, as it happens, as long as you’re doing those two things you WILL get used to new names and pronouns. They’ll become second nature.
I know this might run counter to public trans pushback against deadnaming and misgendering, but the stuff we push back on is when people do that shit on purpose to hurt us, or refuse to put in the work to change their thoughts and/or correct themselves because they don’t care. What we get angry about is the malice or apathy much more than the misgendering itself.
So like – seriously, to all cis people, please chill out. The self-flagellation is just kind of exhausting. And as long as you correct yourself and get better at it over time, I know I’ll be more than happy with that, and I think most other trans people will be too.
NGPZ
Self flagellation is actually a great way of putting it, it’s the result of following this widespread unspoken rule where being punished for doing wrong is an indispensable step in keeping moral order, it’s assumed we want/need this to happen but that’s really just projection lol
Rabid Rabbit
Yeah… I’m a straightwhitecismale, but this reminds me of when a (female-shaped, it’s complicated) friend of mine started telling people about what their ex had done to them this one time. (Don’t feel like writing it, but it’s a four-letter word that starts with R.) Apparently most of the times they told guys about it, they ended up having to console the guy, because he felt so terrible about it, even if he couldn’t have done anything. As they said, that reaction made sense when it was their dad they’d just told. Everyone else, though…
I’ve always been bizarrely proud of not having been one of those guys, and somewhat disgusted at that pride, and even more disturbed that I should be the exception. I mean, sure, it’s great that those guys felt horrible on hearing about the event, but, well, keep that to yourself, will you? Your existential angst is your own, the person telling you this is more important than you at the moment. Go whine about how you couldn’t be a knight in shining armor elsewhere, christ…
Hm. Sorry, that may have got a bit away from me.
Throwatron
Yeah, no, I think you’re being way too harsh on most dudes.
The reality of being most guys is, you don’t get invited into the inner places of your friends’ lives, because most of your friends are guys. Most of your socializing, even with your close friends and family, ends up being done through that masculine lens, and that means when someone is finally letting you in, you aren’t prepared for that emotional situation, because you have basically zero practice; after all, you’re Not a Girl, so people around you don’t talk to you very much about their feelings, or their inner lives.
I still remember the first time someone close to me, shared something like that with me. She was my best friend at the time, ever. So, I can’t express to you, how much more intense the feeling of white-hot rage was, compared to just about everything I’ve ever felt. I probably could have cried, if it wasn’t so goddamned infuriating, and unfair.
I think you’re just being very cruel to those teen boys, for being teen boys. I’d like to think I was at least somewhat supportive, but even just learning about that event in someone else’s life, I’m sure I was not at my most emotionally intelligent, but I sure as shit didn’t “make it about me;” but, where I really disagree, is you characterizing someone’s involuntary emotional response to overwhelming news, as being them “making it about them.”
Yeah, it would be better if they recognized the overarching social situation that they were being included in as a matter of course, and acted perfectly supportive of it, like a character in a movie. But they’re also human beings with normal human responses to traumatic news. After all, at least in my case, my friend was assaulted by some rando who made no attempt to contact her ever again; it’s not like, in comparison to the case of you and your friend’s friend group, that the assailant was somebody that you all knew personally, and possibly still had to interact with. Some of those guys you’re judging, also just learned that a person they thought they could trust, who was still active in their lives, was the most untrustworthy kind of person. There are lots of things about that news, that could emotionally overwhelm someone naturally.
At the end of the day, you’re projecting the maximum amount of malice onto a bunch of dudes that performed a difficult social interaction worse than you think they should have. And they did perform it worse than what was probably expected of them. But I can’t comprehend how you make the leap, to their emotions being about their own relationship with their masculinity, or about their own personal narrative as a man.
If my friend got hit by a fucking car, nobody would say that I’m crying because I’m making it about me. I’m crying because my friend got hit by a car, and that’s scary, and sad. Crying is a normal emotional response to that situation. It’s not because I’m a socially-incompetent ball of toxic masculinity who only feels bad that I wasn’t present to fist-fight the goddamned car. It’s because my friend got fucking hurt, and I have feelings about it.
Yumi
Holy cheese, the projection in this