235

Five-second
Posted on February 7, 2017 by David M Willis
Welcome To The Fuck Zone #15 is up now, and it features Malaya!  Malaya and some unknown penised person, I dunno.  Small cropped preview on the left as always, while the full image (and previous images) are available to Slipshine members! Next week you get Billie and Ruth.

235 thoughts on “Five-second”

  1. Ana Chronistic

    if you love someone, heave ’em out the door

    if they come back, they weren’t ready for the press

    if they don’t, the mob got ’em

    1. Stephen Bierce

      You can’t control and independent heart…
      (Can’t love what you can keep!)
      Can’t set the one you love apart…

      1. Stephen Bierce

        Oops. Typo. Cold hands.

    2. jeffepp

      (Chorus)
      Out, out, kick them out.
      Out, out, kick them out.

      1. Clif

        Warm hands, cold heart.

    3. ATN

      Heave-ho!

  2. Emperor Daniel

    Yes.

  3. AnvilPro

    You can’t hide what’s inside Leslie

    1. Doctor_Who

      What are you talking about? She just threw the thing hidden inside outside.

      1. Janine

        Thereby unhiding it.

        1. CrockedCop

          Nonsense, Leslie is hiding it by putting it in clear view.

    2. BenRG

      Yes. It’s just that, in this case, what’s inside is the end of her patience with Robin.

  4. SailorCakes

    She loved to throw yo ass out the door!

    1. Deanatay

      “You know, Robin. YOU’RE RIGHT. I CAN kick you out. Any time. I WANT to.

      GUESS. WHEN. THAT. IS!”

      *boot*

  5. Architex

    And so the stup flew the coop by flying over the stoop!

  6. Mr.J

    …whatever happend to Jazzy Jeff?

    1. Aeron

      Some say he’s still lying there on their front porch.

    2. Historyman68

      He’s the DJ.

  7. Fart Captor

    Welp. :I

  8. Mr. Mendo

    I can’t help but feel there’s a strip missing between now and yesterday…

    1. Toad

      Yeah, this seemed… abrupt. In two panels, Leslie went from “rueful smile” to “angry shouting and finger-pointing” because Robin said one very Robin-y thing?

      1. nightsbridge

        …The very Robin thing is part of the established bigotry that kills her school kiddos and pushed her into the closet so deep she went into a loveless marriage.

        What’s cute and ‘oh Robin~’ in shortpacked is monstrous in DoA.

        1. Mr. Mendo

          Even so, it’s fairly abrupt.

        2. Tan

          It’s not actually abrupt at all. It is an incredibly overdue straw breaking the camel’s back moment after Robin has piled on and piled on the bullshit.

        3. Travestyhat

          The last panel of yesterday’s strip was Robin saying ‘I’m done pretending not to be a lazy, entitled shit.’ Leslie kicking her out is anything BUT abrupt.

        4. Leorale

          Plus Leslie had been hoping that she’d smooched some sense into her, but found that Robin is immune to sense.

        5. Leorale

          …but yes it is mostly because Leslie tried to make a meaningful, life-changing connection, so that Robin would stop supporting bigoted legislation that kills people… and Robin flaunted that she didn’t pay attention, and treated Leslie like a snack-lackey.

        6. Elitist Oars

          The last panel was Robin saying in a roundabout way that she enjoys being with Leslie and wants to be with her forever.

          For Leslie to get mad that she said that in a roundabout humorous way (I want to live on your couch forever) rather than directly and seriously (I want to live with you) does seem abrupt.

        7. Nightsbridge

          In context? No. It’s really not.

        8. Heavensrun

          You took it that way, other people read the same strip and took it as Robin admitting that she’s just hiding from the stress of her campaign. I took it as Robin being deliberately irresponsible because she isn’t ready to deal with the consequences of the present situation yet.

          She doesn’t know how to put the genie back in the bottle here. She’s intelligent enough to know that this isn’t something she can fix without doing something Leslie would hate, and she’s also, I think, more aware than people are assuming that she doesn’t want Leslie to hate her. I mean Jesus, look at panel 4. That is the HAPPIEST ROBIN.

          But still, she’s being irresponsible, and Leslie is fed up with her irresponsibility. She just finally lost patience with it.

        9. trlkly

          They took it the way it was offered. Yeah, Robin is being irresponsible. She’s been being irresponsible this whole time. It doesn’t make sense that Leslie would suddenly change her mind and see her irresponsibility as a bad thing. Last comic, she was in full “making excuses” mode.

          Again, look at the comments. If this wasn’t abrupt, then at least someone would have predicted this reaction.

        10. Fart Captor

          This seems like a completely natural reaction to Robin utterly blowing off everything Leslie tried to tell her. There were plenty of comments yesterday describing Robin’s reactions as very disrespectful.

          Leslie getting pissed and booting Robin out may not have been explicitly predicted, but it fits with plenty of reactions yesterday.

          There’s always going to be cases like that, where people with different experiences have different takes on something, and get thrown off when that’s not where the story ends up going. That doesn’t make one interpretation wrong or unrealistic, that’s just how life is.

        11. nightsbridge

          @trikly

          Have you actually been reading the comments? People were lobbying for Leslie to take her to task for this for the last few strips and calling Robin’s behavior unacceptable.

        12. trlkly

          The last panel is the joke panel. And Robin cracked a joke.

          Just look at the comments yesterday. Everyone thought that Leslie was going to let Robin stay there, and how bad that was. No one saw Robin’s comment as something that might make Leslie angry. It just seemed like a joke.

          We go from yesterday seeing Leslie making every excuse she can for Robin, to her making a joke, and then Leslie doesn’t make an excuse?

          It’s a completely tonal shift in a continuous situation. Those can work within a particular strip, but, between strips, they feel wrong, like you missed something.The fact that any of us back to make sure we didn’t miss a strip shows a flaw in the pacing.

          I mean, it’s not that big a deal. This is basically the first structural flaw I’ve seen in this entire comic. Many webcomics I read run into them a lot, but I put up with them for the story.

          Willis has a great combination of great structure and a compelling story. His experience really shows in his work.

        13. nightsbridge

          ‘Look at the comments yesterday’ you say . . .

          “Robin is content here and honestly, if Leslie was the type of person willing to put up with casual dismissal of humanity for a good hearty snog on occasion, then Robin would be giddy as a kid in a candy store and would love nothing more than linger in the denial of this liminal space.
          But that’s not what Leslie wants and Robin is ignoring that because it’s inconvenient for what she wants and because she enters in with that base disrespect for Leslie’s boundaries and desires. And it’s why she’s also not going to get what she wants, because Leslie has self-respect enough that she’s not going to agree to be a side piece of ass to someone who does not respect her history and identity and who is unwilling to make progress towards growth and change.”

    2. Hellespont

      Same here. From getting comfy with each other and their space to, well, not the most mature argument in the strip’s history.

      1. Greenygal

        Robin was still comfy. Leslie had dragged herself off the couch, gotten dressed, reminded herself of the things she’d been willfully ignoring, and asked Robin if she cared about anything Leslie cared about. Robin’s response boiled down to “no”, so I’m not particularly surprised that was where Leslie’s patience ran out.

        1. Toad

          I don’t feel like the chain of events was unreasonable; I just feel like one panel of Leslie in between smiling and angry-face-finger-pointing would have made the transition read more smoothly.

  9. Kernanator

    And that’s how Leslie got convicted for the accident murder of Robin, killed when her face impacted with the pavement.

    1. Doctor_Who

      Robin’s head is hard enough that it will crack the concrete.

      1. DarkoNeko

        And there won’t be any lack of witnesses, there

        1. Dana

          I saw it. She totally tripped.

    2. Rowen Morland

      Nah, there’s so much press that she’ll crowdsurf it.

  10. Cattleprod

    Who else heard Jazz scream as Uncle Phil threw him out the door?

    1. Kingmonster

      Well, now that you mention it…

    2. Needfuldoer

      Here you go!

  11. cesium133

    Re the alt text: is Leslie about to find a nasty surprise in her couch?

  12. Haven

    God that fourth panel is cute.

  13. Some1

    Narrator: Joyce and Robin were walking to Ryan’s house with Robin’s aide behind them.

    Kyle: Ma’am, don’t you think we should acquire police assistance or at least some sort of a weapon before marching into a possible murderers house?

    Robin: Unnecessary aide!

    Kyle: I hate you.

    Narrator: Finally they arrive at Ryan’s home, and given that Willis has never mentioned or shown it, I am therefor allowed to describe it how ever I want.

    The house was large with a decrepitude lawn in the front. It was painted white, with dark tinted windows, almost like sunglasses.

    Robin: Well, that’s creepy.

    Narrator: Robin glances over at Joyce, who has began to freak out again.

    Robin: Hey, Joyce…are you okay?

    Narrator: Joyce pukes.

    Robin: Ew.

    Kyle: Robin!

    Robin: Well, it is gross.

    Kyle: still, be more sensitive.

    Narrator: Joyce wipes the vomit from her mouth, and stands back up.

    Joyce: No, I’m okay, let’s do this.

    Narrator: Joyce marches up to the front door, and bangs the lion shaped knocker. To her surprise the door swings open on its on its own, and she, Robin, and aide slowly step inside. Their is a silk red carpet and green painted walls.

    Robin: Okay, this is weird even for me.

    Joyce: I know, be on guard.

    Narrator: They walk around the corner and came to a small room with a fireplace against the left wall, a plush purple carpet and a leather armchair with a small drawer next to it. A chandelier hung from the ceiling. Sitting on the armchair was Ryan, stroking a revolver.

    Ryan: Hello, Joyce.

    Joyce: Why did you do it Ryan?

    Ryan: (innocently) Do what?

    Joyce: Kill those people.

    Narrator: Ryan gets up and paces the room, causally playing with his gun.

    Ryan: Ah, but that’s the thing Joyce, I didn’t kill anyone. Me and the killer have an understanding, he knew that you would suspect me. I wanted to kill you, and he was more than willing to provide me with the opportunity.

    Joyce: You’re a monster.

    Ryan: Of course, but can you really blame me?

    Robin: Yes?

    Ryan: Point taken.

    Narrator: Ryan points the gun, at Joyce and clicks the hammer…only to have a large kitchen knife sticking through his chest.

    Kyle: (Panting) Never forget about the aide, you fucking asshole.

    Narrator: Gasping, Ryan steps back letting the gun drop from his hand.

    Ryan: Joyce…Do me a favor and tell the Amazi-bongo she failed, heh killed by the one member of Robin’s staff that I couldn’t manipulate.

    Narrator: Ryan collapses.

    1. Emperor Daniel

      Guess that Aide wasn’t unnecessary after all.

      1. Some1

        Fun fact: he was originally going to be the bad guy, but the fact that Zootopia exists and the fact that if he was I wouldn’t have been able to use that one liner made him a good guy.

  14. DinaWho

    Given that I think the poster overlooks the living room, I /really/ hope she isn’t watching anyone poop.

    1. CJ

      Eats, shoots and leaves – maybe this is where the comma came from?

  15. Ferdinand Rosenthal

    Well, technically, it was more of a hefty throw than a kick, but semantics.

  16. chris73

    Yes! Finally Leslie you did good.

    Also how about the three second rule instead: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=57Sb14dyaUc

    1. TheAnonymousGuy

      Someone finally animated that page with Carla – http://68.media.tumblr.com/18971395ac7ccfe8f8d1f40f52f5cc73/tumblr_okh6xjTnBb1r39mnbo1_500.gif

      1. Hellespont

        Yes!! Carla ROLLLLLLLS!!

  17. lia47

    BYE

  18. Solenoid

    GOOD RIDDANCE

  19. Bluewind

    Crap. I really hated being right on the level of Robin’s denial. -_-

    1. Emperor Norton II

      And I hate being wrong on the message she was sending in the last panel yesterday.

  20. Derek

    YES GOOD, you should have kicked her ass on the curb hours ago but better late than never!

  21. Fart Captor

    I’m simultaneously happy for Leslie, sad Robin isn’t taking this more seriously, and deeply enjoying the pouty look on Robin’s face in the last panel

    1. DarkoNeko

      Eh, this kinda of evolution doesn’t happen overnight.

      1. Fart Captor

        Oh yes, especially not for someone who’s gotten as good at denial as she has.

        Hopefully, the swift kick in the ass has the desired effect

        1. DarkoNeko

          Yesss

        2. Emily

          Hopefully her base tears her limb from limb and I never have to see her again.

        3. Commodore Jeep-Eep

          Amen.

    2. BenRG

      I really don’t think that Robin has ever been in the position before where she couldn’t charm, joke, redirect or bareface her way out of a problem. This will probably be a shocking new experience for her.

  22. TheAnonymousGuy

    Someone finally animated that page with Carla – http://68.media.tumblr.com/18971395ac7ccfe8f8d1f40f52f5cc73/tumblr_okh6xjTnBb1r39mnbo1_500.gif

    1. Arianod

      Yay!

    2. Emperor Norton II

      Finally?

      Ana Chronistic (who made it) posted a link to that video about 44 minutes after the comic itself had launched.

      1. Clif

        No. No. We’re taking turns announcing it. Do you want to announce it tomorrow or shall I?

  23. Leorale

    Yep, that needed to happen.

  24. Architex

    Tomorrow’s strip will have Dorothy and Walky replacing Leslie and Robin, respectively, in the exact same pose except for the doorway leading to Jason’s office.

    1. Yumi

      It really shows what I think of Jason when my first thought was, “Why would Dorothy want him to have sec with Jason?”

      1. DarkoNeko

        Well, there are others beside Jason.

        1. Clif

          Why would Dorothy want him to have sex with the others beside Jason?

        2. Yumi

          To sell Slipshine accounts?

      2. Yumi

        Just to clarify, I meant sex, not sec.

    2. timemonkey

      But she wants him to learn, not get ignored and insulted.

  25. JetstreamGW

    Insert DJ Jazzy Jeff Scream here.

    1. CianM1301

      UUUUUHHHH!!

  26. Nym

    I love Robin’s panel four and panel six expressions. I love even more that Leslie actually did throw her out.

  27. Plasma Mongoose

    Maybe Daisy will have a shot now.

    1. DarkoNeko

      Naah.

    2. Reltzik

      At which one? Because I think Robin’s enough of a politician to prostitute herself out to the press.

      …. okay, imagine I had a better analogy that didn’t denigrate sex workers by comparing them to politicians.

      1. Opus the Poet

        Yet another reason why this strip needs an upvote button…

        1. Clif

          Truth.

  28. BBCC

    Ya did good, Leslie. *raises glass*

    (Also, if you’re American, you should check out 5calls for the Jeff Sessions and Betsy DeVos stuff. Just needs your ZIP, which you can find on Google maps).

  29. DarkoNeko

    Hahahaha. Well that went way better than expected.

  30. JessWitt

    Watch your step, Robin.

  31. MatsuoTanuki

    *playss “Escape” by Enrique Iglesias, with some slight lyrical adjustments*

    Here’s how it goes…
    You and me…
    Up and down…
    But maybe this time…
    We’ll get it right…
    Worth the fight!
    ‘Cause love isn’t something you can shake…
    When it breaks all it takes is some trying..

    If ya feeeeeeel I’m leavin’…
    I’m not going to beg to stay!
    But soooooon you’ll be finding…
    You can run, you can hide…
    But ya can’t escape our love!

  32. Keulan

    Yeah, Leslie should’ve kicked Robin out long ago.

    1. Dana

      Not that it’s in any way Leslie’s job to facilitate Robin’s character growth, but waiting until she said something way over the top gives Robin something to chew on after the fact that even she might learn something from. I’m guessing Robin, like most of us, has better hindsight than foresight, but I doubt either is 20/20.

  33. Rukduk

    And that’s the way the cookie crumbles.

    1. Arianod

      Not with a kick in the ass, but with a good ol’ shove! ^^

    2. Thulcandran

      That’s the way the bee bumbles.

  34. Ryek Hvek

    ♫ “She floats through the air, with the greatest of ease, that woman from Congress, that Lesbianese” ♫

    1. Keulan

      She floats by her hair… no, not by her hair, that would hurt.

      1. John

        In other hits by the same artist, I recommend “Der Fuehrer’s Face” as seasonally appropriate.

      2. Ryek Hvek

        It’s nice to know that young people still have an appreciation for the classics.

  35. Shiro

    Pushed ‘er just a hair too far, Robin.

    1. inqntrol

      She had it coming for a while.

  36. Romanticide

    Big mistake Robin, big mistake.
    And I cannot blame Leslie for throwing her out, Robin truly needs her sense of reality to be recalibrated but she doesn’t have to be the one that does all that tirying work :S

  37. valis_kr3

    She may have overplayed her hand.

  38. Too Old To Be Cool

    “No one has told you ‘no’ in a very long time, have they?”

    1. Dana

      What is this “no” word of which you speak?

    2. BenRG

      For Robin, ‘no’ is merely shorthand for ‘find some way to persuade me’, even if only by ignoring me and forcing me to accept that you’ll do it anyway.

  39. Arianod

    YES!!! 😀

    1. Reltzik

      For almost correctly predicting today’s last panel, I award you 0.728902… internets.

      ….

      Look, I’m not the Emperor, I don’t have full internet-awarding privileges, okay?

      1. Emperor Norton II

        OK, just to clear things up here.

        We don’t award internets. We also don’t award internet points. People can do whatever they want with those, as far as We are concerned.

        However, We (and We alone) award the Imperial Internet Points, which We think are much more shiny and prestigious than normal internet points.

        1. Emperor Norton II

          And now that this is cleared up…

          Arianod, for predicting quite accurately what the last panel of today’s comic was going to be, We, the Emperor of the Internet, award you 0.728902 Imperial Internet Points.

          It would have been a full one IIP, except Leslie’s foot was not connected to Robin’s posterior. Important detail there.

        2. Clif

          How does a Leslie’s foot compare to an Imperial foot?

        3. Emperor Norton II

          We prefer the metric system.

  40. Cerberus

    Comic Reactions:

    Woot! Go Leslie’s dignity and sense of self-respect!

    Panel 1: Given what I was writing yesterday, I’m so happy this opens up with Leslie’s self-dignity coming back in a big way. Cause, yeah, what Robin did there was immensely fucked up. Not only revealing that she didn’t bother to even pretend to listen to Leslie’s vulnerable life experiences after Robin used those as the excuse to drag her out, but then twisting a really important statement, something Leslie gave as a gift, into just another justification to be selfish, avoid the consequences of her own actions, and push against Leslie’s boundaries, treating her like a pet to fetch her snacks.

    So after being disrespected so openly, I love that Leslie comes back with a vengeance and stands up for herself. Especially since, oh dear, letting it escalate to making out, that’s some bad medicine right there. The heart wants what it wants, but trust me, you will despise yourself the more you get entangled with this woman as she is currently.

    Also, face-palm for Robin’s statement.

    Panel 2: And it’s critical for Leslie to be defending herself, because if she gives in to Robin’s assault on her boundaries, she’s going to reach whole new levels of being treated like an accessory.

    I mean, let’s be frank, Robin has been pursuing her with a ferocity owing to her attraction, setting every escalation in motion right when Leslie had nearly torn herself away, constantly asking for more and more. And yet. We get Robin still in denial finding ways to excuse all her extremely queer actions and erase their impact.

    And that level of denial is no fun to date (my ex got strung along for awhile in a clear relationship that had escalated to makeouts and all-night sleepovers and still the girl denied everything and maintained that she was 100% straight. It ended with the girl accusing her of trying to “seduce” her with “lesbian wiles” and that she had been unilaterally coming on to her rather than being the mutual thing it was). Especially so, when that denial has a price in the lives of queer kids affected by her policies. So long as she can deny it away and make that something “others” have, it makes it easier for her to maintain the distance needed to continue to enact bigoted policies.

    So yeah, good on you, Leslie!

  41. Cerberus

    Panel 3: I fucking love this panel. The intensity on Leslie’s face, her hand gesturing to the door and that line. That line is powerful, because it cuts through all of Robin’s bullshit in a clear way.

    If she wants to engage in this denialism at Leslie’s expense, then she can explain that to the press. Tell them about 5 second rules and totes heterosexual sleepovers and how her escalations to try and get what she wants don’t “really count” as signs of attraction.

    And Leslie stating that, having respect for herself to state that. That is powerful and you see it in Robin immediately abandoning tactic one and shifting to tactic two, attempt a re-engagement of Leslie’s libido to try and get her to back off her dignity and self-respect.

    Panel 4: Though, this face is interesting and makes me think that Robin actually really admires being called out on her bullshit.

    Doesn’t make the pushing against the boundaries okay, but it might not be fully intentional that Robin keeps trying to flirt when Leslie shows her spine, because she might just be really turned on by that spine.

    And now that I think about it, I’m also remembering that her initial boundary push occurred after she got kicked out, so yeah, there may be something there.

  42. OnyxIdol

    This was immensely cathartic.

  43. Cerberus

    Panel 5: You’re not wrong, Robin. She does indeed have attraction to you.

    But the difference between her and you is that she doesn’t deny or hide it. Hell, she even admits to the initial seduction plan and has stated several times to back off entirely because she has a lot of attraction to Robin and didn’t want to act on it.

    And it’s really bad form to point out that fact when that is the fact you’ve been exploiting in every escalation against a stated boundary. Taking advantage of her attraction to try and get a little closer to what you want. And doing so while not respecting her or her wants or even having the decency to acknowledge that that’s what you’ve been doing.

    And it’s especially bad form to do that while once again trying to seduce your way out of dealing with the consequences of your actions or actually letting Leslie set her boundaries once and for all. It might not be fully conscious, but still, there is little you could have done that would have more enraged the self-respect side of her.

    Panel 6: And so I love Leslie cannon-tossing her out the front door to deal with the press. Robin pressed one button too many and Leslie finally ran out of fucks to give. Of course giving that Robin hasn’t yet acknowledged her habit of pressing against boundaries, I doubt we’re going to see the last of her here. But I hope at least Leslie has a moment to breathe and compose herself before the next onslaught.

    1. Reltzik

      Prediction: Robin loses the election and, without anything else to do, enrolls in Leslie’s class next semester.

      Because fuck boundaries.

      1. Heavensrun

        I’m still banking on Robin becoming a poli sci lecturer at the college.

        1. Commodore Jeep-Eep

          I hope that ends in a sexual harassment firing then.

      2. C.T. Phipps

        I believe Robin’s powers of being a sugar powered weasel will save her career. Also, Robin isn’t a bigot but she relies on “dogwhistle” politics and homophobia baiting.

    2. Liliet

      I’m really happy that Robin blatantly pushed too strong here, because it means she really hasn’t been doing the creepy boundary-pushing shit with calculated deliberation, her natural personality just happened to align with Leslie’s weak points.

      And I think that starting to get kicked out and denied what she wants is the only way Robin can learn here, too. Straight up getting kicked out of the door sounds like a good start for this relationship. Now just to hope that Robin’s goldfish memory is going to hold the entire conversation and what exactly went wrong…

      1. StClair

        Agreed to all of the above.

    3. Killjoy

      Yeah, Robin just crossed a line with me, with this bit of emotional manipulation.

      1. C.T. Phipps

        I have this weird and uncomfortable scene in my head where Robin is faced with the press, snaps her fingers like she used to in Shortpacked, and says, “I have an idea!” Then we cut to her plan to get Becky tossed out of the university. Somehow having magically learned of her existence (Leslie talks in her sleep?)

        1. Commodore Jeep-Eep

          Nah… you just need Mary.

  44. Mojo

    Slipshine is way, way too expensive. I’ll wait for Sal to make an appearance, then I might spring for a month before abandoning it again, alas.

    1. Fart Captor

      I’m pretty sure she already has

      1. Danni

        yeah, head of the class

        1. Disloyal Subject

          I assumed Mojo specifically meant the “Welcome to the Fuck Zone” pinups, though I believe Sal has appeared there too.

        2. David M Willis

          She has not yet appeared in WTTFZ.

    2. CrockedCop

      She boingt the TA some time ago mate.

  45. Travestyhat

    Please, please let this be her last appearance.

    1. chris73

      Unfortunately it won’t be

      1. Travestyhat

        I can dream.

  46. Bagge

    Boundaries, Robin. Its totally a thing

    1. Emperor Norton II

      Nonono!

      Bagge, if you want Robin to listen, you have to say “It’s totes a thing!”

      1. Bagge

        Or cover myself in sugar, whichever works.

        1. Reltzik

          That doesn’t.

  47. marianne

    I see from the alt text that White Jesus has returned to play.

  48. Reltzik

    Robin was being so disgusting, she made Leslie hurl.

    1. DarkoNeko

      Booo. Bad pun corner !

    2. Danni

      lmao

    3. Deanatay

      Leslie definitely decided to ‘throw up’ what was irritating her.

      1. Reltzik

        Her home has been purged.

  49. CrockedCop

    It was my understanding that Robin and Leslie allready had sex, or isn’t Slipshine cannon?

  50. Potatamoto

    I freely admit, i’m a huge sucker for Robin when she smiles like that, but THANK you, Leslie! That is taking charge of the situation.

  51. newllend(Henryvolt)

    Why am I thinking of the moments in the fresh prince where Jazz gets thrown out by uncle Phil.

    1. JustCheetoDust

      Whenever I’m reminded of that gag I always think of the time when Jazz was already outside but Phil throws him into the house.

  52. BenRG

    Well, that was pretty much inevitable! I’m not going to hold my breath that Robin will learn anything from this. Nonetheless, I can’t help but wonder if this is the first time her selfishness has led to public humiliation of this sort and whether this will make her at least wonder what she did wrong.

    The news cycle today will be… well… quite frankly it’s going to be career-destroying for Robin. Which, frankly, is a good thing because it’s clear that the Washington Bubble has been toxic for her on many levels.

    1. Clif

      No, no. Robin will be all 5 second rule and her followers will be &#%ing news media. Can’t trust a thing they say.

  53. Mr. Random

    Uncle Phil would be proud.

    1. OnyxIdol

      +1

  54. Catty

    Wouldn’t it be great if she had a poster of Roadblock facing the one of Leia?

  55. Tjemp

    I just missing one more panel. Where lessie telling robin, “she had a wonderful night with here, but now it is time to go. ”
    Or something less friendly.

    That said, it is really sad thatthere are people like Robin walking around.

  56. Liliet

    THANK YOU LESLIE

    like, of course I ship this, I did read shortpacked, but… this is something this relationship desperately needed

    1. BenRG

      Leslie threw Robin out a few times in Shortpacked too. It was the turning point for Robin then because she had to decide that she had to do better if she was going to keep ‘my lesbian’ in her life. It will be interesting to see if this turns out to be a similar epiphany for this version of the character.

      1. timemonkey

        They’ve only spent a few hours together here so probably not.

  57. Danni

    *fresh prince of bel-air theme*

    1. OnyxIdol

      +1

  58. NinjaNick

    Bye, Felicia…I mean, Robin.

  59. TOD

    The alt-text is making me wonder why they would be pooping in the living room.

    1. John

      Don’t kink-shame Robin.

    2. Marsh Maryrose

      Being able to poop with the bathroom door open is one of the little joys of living alone.

      1. Emperor Norton II

        I still close it. It feels exposed, and not in a good way, to leave it open.

  60. OtherAnonymous

    What is love? Don’t hurt me!

    …No, really, don’t hurt me. I bruise easily.

  61. Emily

    Hell yes

  62. ValdVin

    I think the in-couple use of “love” (romantic sense) has been newly said for three pairings in DofA:

    Dorothy and Walky, reciprocated. Becky (of herself, honestly) to Joyce. And here, Robin says Leslie is in love with her, but nothing about Robin’s own feelings.

    Damn telling that Robin has the most immature and least self-examined use of the term. She really doesn’t think more than 30 seconds into the future, does she?

    1. BenRG

      Robin’s thought processes seem to work like this: “I want it, I’ll take it. If anyone calls me out, I try to be cute or act dumb to deflect until they either tire of arguing with a brick wall or decide that I’m so cute they’ve got to let me get away with it.”

      What is worrying is that this strategy seems to have worked quite well up to now!

      1. ValdVin

        I was gonna say “She thinks like an eighth-grader” but that may be generous.

      2. Cerberus

        Honestly, the brick wall technique is somewhat a problem especially with folks with power who do not want things to change. It’s really hard to excise someone who just clamps down their feet and refuses to move until their opponent runs out of energy to keep fighting, other crises arise needing addressing, or you gain the numbers to exploit power once again.

        I’d argue that the popularity and success of this tactic by conservative ideologues has been largely responsible to a few major problems in my country.

  63. ischemgeek

    I’m worried for Leslie here.

    Cuz, great to see her stand up for herself. I’m happy about that.

    Ooonnnn the other hand… Robin is a spoiled, self-centered brat with the emotional maturity of a turnip. There is absolutely no way that Robin isn’t going to make her pay.

    The people who I find hardest to deal with aren’t the fully-fledged bashers who I know hate me and will hurt me at earliest plausibly deniable opportunity. I know what they want, I know their rules, so they can be avoided.

    The Robins are hard to deal with. The ones who “don’t hate the gays” but support homophobia because it fits their ends. Cuz they’re two-faced. And they don’t have a rule set they play by. They do whatever they think, in that moment, will get them the best outcome – but you usually have no way of knowing what that is.

    Robin is going to find some way to pin this all on Leslie and scuttle away Scott-free. How she does that is what I’m worried about.

    1. Commodore Jeep-Eep

      Yeah, we just saw the birth of great cast antagonist number 3.

      As I said before, Leslie would bee well advised to invest in Mace and a firearm.

      1. JBento

        You mean 5? Ryan, Blaine, Ross, Mary were all here first.

        And now we’ve forgotten about Sidney, and that will be our undoing.

        1. Emperor Norton II

          FOOOOOOOOOLS!

          Also Carol and John and Mike.

        2. JBento

          I don’t think John shows up enough for him to count, and Mike’s more of a general-purpose, cartoonishly-over-the-top asshole than an actual antagonist (I STILL can’t take him seriously, but maybe that’s just me, far removed from the crazyness that the US seems to increasingly be).

          Carol can totally count without any opposition on my part, though.

        3. Emperor Norton II

          Gashface only needed a few comics to establish his horribleness. Like, it was established in his first or second appearance that he’s planning to rape Joyce (not putting up links because nobody needs to see his appearances). True, he eventually showed up again in person a few years later, but I’d like to think he’d be on your list simply after that one night and the about ten or so strips he’s in there.

          And John didn’t spend much longer establishing himself as an antagonist than that (although not everyone reckognised the red flags as easily as they could have). And it’s certainly possible for him to return.

          Finally, right now, I envy you for being far removed from that craziness. Stay safe.

        4. JBento

          Thanks, but I’m Portuguese. In Portugal. Even if I WEREN’T white, male, and straight, odds were I’d be the last person in the whole of the DoA commentariat that needed to take special precautions to being safe.

          It’s all of you lot that need to take care, what with all the madness intensifying and spreading.

        5. JBento

          Aaaaaand I totally forgot the initial intent of the reply, go me.

          While Ryan only showed up for a couple of strips up until recently, he still influenced the events. In that respect, he’s much like Carol and Ross – they’ve shown up scarcely, but their influence is shown in many more strips in how they affect other characters’ behaviour. John, so far, has been pretty much a one-shot without any lasting repercussions. I mean, he’s a bad guy, no doubt, but he’d need more ooomph in the comic before I can upgrade him to full-blown antagonist. Right now, he’s more like Carol’s minion.

        6. Emperor Norton

          Will you stop making reasonable arguments that I find myself agreeing with? :p

        7. Commodore Jeep-Eep

          Blaine is still convalescing, and short of bullshit political/jury games, the toecreature is out for the count for the rest of the comic.

        8. JBento

          Ah, you’re counting actives – then the math adds up. 8)

    2. Heavensrun

      Oh, come on.

      Robin is a misguided idiot who has supported shitty legislature without understanding the consequences because she’s been living in the conservative bubble. She’s not evil, she’s not malicious or even particularly manipulative, and she’s not a villain.

      1. JBento

        Robin is not “misguided.” When she supports legislature for “family values,” she’s not thinking “this will totally be good for the people it discriminates against.” She just doesn’t care. She’s not malicious, and I don’t think she’s manipulative (if for no other reason than actual maniulativeness would require her to keep a train of thought going for more than 5 consecutive minutes), but saying she’s not evil is stretching the concept.

      2. Killjoy

        You don’t have to be a villain to do damage. You don’t need to be malicious to do harm. The intent AND the effect of one’s actions both matter.

        As much as I’ve argued against the habit of “making enemies” out of people who aren’t enemies, I’m also going to argue against the notion that Robin is harmless.

        Robin is not harmless.

        1. JBento

          I’ve argued this here before: considering her legislative power, Robin is the LEAST harmless character in the comic, even if her fuckery is more of a “I’m going to get mine” than of an actively “fuck you” bent.

        2. Killjoy

          Even without that, I have to keep smacking the “it’s just wacky hijinks” out of my head, because of the tone established for these two in Shortpacked.

        3. Cerberus

          What you said.

          Plus, there’s the fact that she’s not ignorant of the impact of her laws on real people. She’s been told the impact of her laws on real people. In the last day alone, she was told two separate ways in which her proposed laws affect real people.

          She has chosen to not listen and not care about that. Repeatedly. And that’s a whole nother level than just “I had no idea what I was doing”.

        4. Heavensrun

          I’m not saying she’s harmless, I’m saying she’s not a -villain-, on par with Blaine or Ross, which is what she’s being compared to up there.

        5. Emily

          You’re right, she’s worse than both of them combined. In terms of the overall harm rendered to others by their actions she is orders of magnitude worse than either of them. The fact that she is not directly and personally attacking the people she hurts does no make her any less responsible. She’s the worst villain DoA has had so far and it makes the “wacky hijinks” tone all the more galling because it makes light of how monstrous she is as a person.

      3. Emily

        What is evil if not willfully disregarding the safety of others because you benefit from their suffering? That seems pretty fucking evil to me.

        1. Heavensrun

          You are assuming she willfully disregarded the safety of others, but her reaction to the assertion that she had was that of someone completely flat footed. She’s never been CONFRONTED with the consequences of her policies. Now that she has, she has a choice to make.

          A bad decision made on the basis of bad information does not make a bad person, it just makes for a bad decision.

          Blaine is willfully sadistic. Ross was intractably hateful. Robin is, thus far, just ignorant. If you attack ignorant people for being ignorant, all you do is prod them to double down on their ignorance.

        2. BBCC

          A) Bullshit. This board has had numerous folks state they’ve learned from folks who get mad at them for doing bigoted shit over its time.

          B) Roz has already said she’s tried to tell her what’s wrong.Robin did not listen. She no longer can plead ignorance.

          C) Even if Roz hadn’t, Robin is an adult. At some point, she needs to take responsibility for her own ignorance.

          D) Robin has thus far brushed off both people attempting to explain to her yesterday. It seems she’s made her choice – she does not care and seems pretty content to continue fucking people over for her benefit. Ergo, even if she didn’t before, she’s now meeting Emily’s definition of evil.

        3. Spencer

          I think it might be worth considering that what you view as Robin being a misguided dunce who needs to redeem herself, a lot of people here view her as the same kind of very real world political shill who would gladly knife them in the back, and who have suffered as a direct result of the actions taken by those types.

          I also think that Robin will be redeemed in the end and show herself to be the better person she eventually became in Shortpacked!, but I also think the lot of people here who think of Robin as a rancid scumsucker are right to think of her that way as well.

        4. Fart Captor

          Yeah, as much as I’d like Robin to get back to a loveable goofball, she’s got a long difficult road to redeem herself if it’s going to feel earned, especially if she and Leslie end up together.

    3. Cerberus

      Yeah, I worry a lot about Leslie when Robin does have the microphone with the press, because we’ve already seen some hints of her tendency to throw others under the bus to defend herself and also the lengths she will go to to maintain deniability about her “straightness”.

      I can definitely see her making the type of situation that will put Leslie under more not less scrutiny.

      1. JBento

        Special condolences to you at this moment. I just found out that the deVos creature was confirmed at Secretary of Education, which must be particularly hard for you as a teacher. 8(

        1. Killjoy

          Two Republicans voted against her, and every Democrat. It took Pence to break the tie.

          I’m feeling kinda nauseous — she’s both a nutter, and deeply unqualified.

        2. BBCC

          I’m choosing to take some positivity to it – y’all flipped two senators on this and that is amazing. Next up is Sessions – I’m told there’s a procedural vote for him tomorrow. Calling about him’s important, so I recommend 5calls and itstimetofight.weebly.com for scripts and such if you need it.

        3. BBCC

          Okay, NOT a procedural vote, it’s a confirmation one, so even more important.

  64. Owlmirror

    [trying again — was this just dropped as a fluke, or because it contains something the system doesn’t like for some reason? ]

    Sometimes I’m slow and unobservant….

    Before I remembered that OH YEAH THE POSTER I was wondering if the mention of Leia along with the whole “five-second” rule was a snarky reference to the scene where she kissed her [retconned] brother.

    I just found the clip on yt; that was indeed way less than 5 seconds (wait, unless that was a later edit — can anyone check with the original release?)(pre-1997? you know, where you can see Han shoot first)

  65. Grethelwvier

    Am I the only person who thinks they staged the argument? Because a: they DIDN’T make out as far as we know, b: Leslie’s smart enough to not raise her voice with press just outside, and c: a small scandal (making out) would be a great way to avoid the larger scandal (sex) that everyone outside is assuming happened. Although, I do think Robin’s last comments were genuine, and not part of the argument.

    1. Heavensrun

      I doubt it. For starters, the press is not inside Leslie’s apartment, nor are they likely to be right outside her apartment, because while the doorman on her building has obviously made some questionable decisions this night, I don’t think he’s just going to open the door for anybody with a press badge.

      Secondly, remember that whole “Don’t pretend to be something you’re not” thing?

      Thirdly, just because we didn’t see them make out doesn’t mean they weren’t absolutely about to when we cut away from them before. (that expectation is what made the Steven marathon funny, after all.)

    2. CoMa

      Maybe.

      I personally think it’s not staged in any way (the kiss could’ve happened after their kitchen-scene, not ‘on screen’) – Robin just seems to have the knack of bringing out the worst from Leslie (well not THE worst, but she has the talent to say the wrong things all the time, which makes Leslie very angry).
      Robin did not even stop to consider Leslie’s words, she just ‘attacked’ her back, after being called out on spouting non-adult nonsense on a kissing rule.
      She also totally deserved being thrown out. I’d have thrown her out too, after a morning like Leslie’s if you remember: Robin stayed at hers uninvited, they supposedly at least bonded a bit over watching a series, because they couldn’t simply leave with the press waiting outside of Leslie’s house/apartment, and then Robin says irrational things (after saying she’s tired of pretending), and then exclaims exactly the reason for why Leslie didn’t throw her out as soon as she woke up next to her (well, I don’t know if it’s really full-on love or a more ‘minor’ form of it) – she earned being thrown out like that…

      1. CoMa

        Ah, there’s a mistake in here – the double negation of yesterday got me confused, though I initially understood it right! Just to add to
        “(after saying she’s tired of pretending)” – that she’s tired of pretending to not be lazy

  66. HenrEek

    I don’t know if it’s a language thing (as English is not my primary’s), but I really, sincerely don’t understand what happened on last strip to have Leslie so enraged… And what the five-sec-rule has to do with it…

  67. JBento

    Oh, hey, a strip with Robin that doesn’t make me snarl in anger. Truly, a day of wonders!

  68. Jake

    Prediction: Robin moves center-right by shifting her position to support LGBT, and wins re-election as a result by picking up centrist and near-left progressives.

    Predicted consequences: Well-founded reconciliation between Robin & Leslie. Roz revealed to be a huge jerkface who just wanted her sister humbled, and didn’t care about actual progress.

  69. wakeangel2001

    this was totes a Fresh Prince reference wasn’t it?

  70. JBento

    I’m starting to get confused about Leslie’s living arrangements. With the whole “the landlord let me in” assholery, I thought she lived in an apartment building, but the last panel looks like an actual outside shot, what with the wall boards and all. But if it’s a house, how would Robin even know where to find Leslie’s criminally incompetent landlord?

    1. Killjoy

      Some apartment buildings have individual outside doors. Or, she shoved her all the way out the hall and then out the front door.

      The funny thing is, most apartment buildings in the US don’t have the landlord or any other 24 hour stuff living on site.

      She’d have been MORE likely to find the landlord if Leslie lives in an apartment that’s been “remodeled” into an existing house, with the owner living in another part of the same building. These sorts of things are common in college towns.

      1. BBCC

        It could be a duplex or complex building or townhouse/condo type thing – those are often called apartments. Or she could be renting a house, which would also have a landlord. Leslie may have her address posted somewhere that made it possible to find.

    2. trlkly

      Apartment complexes tend to be separate buildings outside of skyscraper land. They might be a duplex, but they aren’t these long sprawling buildings with grand hallways.

      They’re kinda like mini motels, as opposed to the more hotel-like arrangement.

  71. Lulu

    Out with the trash!
    Hurray!

  72. C.T. Phipps

    It’s also possible Leslie rents a house. My wife and I used to do that.

    1. thejeff

      But then the Robin getting the landlord to let her in would be even weirder.

    2. JBento

      The explanation that strikes me most likely so far is what Killjoy said in the third paragraph two comments above – a single building with separate homes, with the landlord living in one (possibly signaled?).

  73. trlkly

    Yeah, I have to agree that this comic is abrupt. I flat out assumed I must’ve missed a day and went back, only to find nothing.

    I explained a lot in my reply above, but I have a feeling that might get lost in all the replies. So I’ll summarize and extend my argument here.

    Last comic, the mood was that Leslie was making excuses for Robin. She took what Robin said and turned it into what she wanted to hear. Robin ends with a joke that most normally would be interpreted as her saying she wants to be with Leslie. Plus, it’s the last panel, which is the joke panel.

    It thus seems weird that Leslie went from making excuses to a blind rage. Not disappointment of frustration. But flat out yelling in her face. She’s apparently walked up really close to her and bent down unnaturally to yell in her face.

    It is an abrupt tonal shift. Those sometimes work within the same comic, but, between comics, it just feels like something is missing. Even just a reaction panel would help, where we could see Leslie coming to her senses.

    I hate to say it, but Willis seems to have made a structural mistake. I know–he’s never made one before (at least, in this comic). But the fact that anyone could see this comic and feel the need to go back and check if they missed a comic means that he messed up.

    Sure, in a comic that makes little mistakes like this often, it wouldn’t seem like anything. But, due to the quality of Willis’s work, it kinda stands out.

    Heck, if I didn’t see people telling everyone else how wrong they are to think it was abrupt, I probably wouldn’t have said anything.

    1. Fart Captor

      It feels natural enough to me. Leslie looked a bit twitchy in the last strip, so this feels to me like the last straw. With someone with as much patience as Leslie obviously has, it makes sense that it would be very abrupt and a bit explosive when it finally runs out.

  74. Bad Cinema

    eh, they’re gonna get married.

    1. Commodore Jeep-Eep

      Christ, lesbin shippers are weaboo tier creepy.

      1. Commodore Jeep-Eep

        Should read LesBin, before tendentious fucks start in.

        1. Spencer

          Shit, LesBin is an amazing name.

        2. JBento

          Hopefully, we will soon be able to refer to this “relationship” as a ‘has been’ instead.

          To avoid possible misconstruing, I put relationship between inverted commas because the level of interaction between Robin and Leslie is not enough to classify it as one.

        3. Commodore Jeep-Eep

          I hope so. Aside from anything else, angry jilted selfish sex-seeker Robin makes for a fine antagonist.

  75. Exilon1

    That’s all TOUGH LOVE!

    Also, wait, they made out? For five seconds?

  76. Steelbright

    Did i miss something? when did they actually make out….??

    1. BBCC

      Off screen.

  77. Janine

    Hmm. Well. Technically speaking Leslie never asked her off her property verbally and physically threw her off. That means legally she isn’t trespassing. Funny how no one piped in to say how problematic and illegal Leslie’s collecting of blackmail material on Robin was when they woke up together in bed.

  78. athan1214

    And it was at that moment Robin knew…
    She fucked up.

    1. podian

      According to the next strip, she apparently doesn’t know.

  79. Mortartarsaus

    Next comic, she’ll be pounding on the door while yelling “WILLLLMAAAAAA!”

  80. BBCC

    Panel One: Yep, looks like Robin shitting on her point and Leslie’s experiences and basically saying she never intends to leave is the last straw. Leslie’s finally fed up. I don’t think this is that out of nowhere – she may not have started off mad yesterday, but she’s been on and off annoyed with Robin all day and yesterday ended off with Robin shitting on her AGAIN. I’d probably lose my temper now too.

    Actually, no, I’d have bodily thrown her to the press by now as soon as I learned she’d entered without my permission, but I digress.

    And oh, Leslie, nooooo. Don’t make out with the lady who has no intentions of stopping making your life and LGBT+ kids lives hell. Bad Leslie. And she knows that too. She must know their are friends and students in the community who will have dropped her trustworthiness immensely. I know, I know, might as well get the good since she’s already got the bad, but that’s not good for her self respect to admit she made out with a bigot. Especially since said bigot has not listened and has no intention of changing.

    Also – jesus, Robin, she’s not a ham sandwich.

    Panel Two: Leslie is absolutely right here. Robin can’t pretend she didn’t kiss Leslie, since it apparently happened. But that is exactly what she’s going to do, because she can’t be gay and gay is her only non-straight option apparently. And yeah, making cracks about how she hadn’t brushed her teeth, nice.

    Panel Three: And Leslie’s sick of standing up for herself and needing to fight between her libido and her self respect. So she’s saying if Robin has no intentions of listening, she can get out. And that’s been so long coming, I can’t even begin to describe it. Robin absolutely needs to get tossed so Leslie can rebuild her self worth, even if she does like Robin.

    Panel Four: And yeah, fair question. Robin’s just happily, condescendingly smiling at Leslie like she’s a four year old being adorable instead of someone with a real point – that, if you’re gonna disrespect her, get the fuck out of her house. She is continuing not to take Leslie seriously and it is painful to watch.

    Panel Five: Seriously. Fucking SERIOUSLY? Robin is using Leslie’s words twisted around to justify her stamping down on boundaries all the goddamn time? ARE YOU FUCKING WITH ME OR IS THAT A THING I HAVE READ WITH MY OWN EYEBALLS?

    SCREW. YOU. ROBIN.

    Okay, yeah, you’re right that Leslie has a crush on you. Leslie never said she didn’t. She said you’ve been an asshole and you can stop or you can stop avoiding the press in her fucking house, you rotten turnip.

    Leslie deserves so much better than to have this jackass talk down to her about her emotions and saying if she was really mad, she’d kick her out, and since she’s in love with her she won’t do that. Robin’s infuriating here. Leslie being pissed is utterly justified.

    Panel Six: HAH. Good on you for standing up for yourself, Leslie! You deserve to be able to feel good in your own home. And Robin deserves to be flung out after acting like a completely disrespectful nugget of shit. The look on her face shows how much she did not anticipate this. She is taken by surprise at actual consequences and I love it. Good for Leslie and very cathartic for me.

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