313

Scoop
Posted on November 25, 2013 by David M Willis

313 thoughts on “Scoop”

  1. Rani

    Boy was always a disappointment.

    1. Keroshino

      There’s somthing wrong with that boy.

      1. Auror

        I tell ya what

        1. JA

          Yyyyup.

        2. lejwocky

          The wrong kid died.

        3. xain

          wow, really?! i know its in jest but really no one diserves that.

        4. Parnifia the Bastard

          I DESERVED THAT.

        5. iggy_rock

        6. iggy_rock

          Hey I’m Ruth now! All right! Also correction to above.

          Walk Hard: The Dewey Cox Story

        7. Squiggles

          I’m so glad someone else likes or at least knows this movie

        8. Arkantos

          Is you avatar that one loner geek girl from El Goonish Shive?

        9. Pope William T Wodium

          Questionable Content.

        10. King G

          Also, not a girl.

        11. Aeron

          Dangit, Danny!

    2. Undrave

      You just know he’s going to dan this up SO badly!

      1. Daibhid C

        This is already completely danned up before he even gets there!

        He can make it worse.

        1. Rani

          What is Danned can never die.

          It can only get dumber.

        2. Lel

          And come strange eons, even death may Dan?

        3. xKiv

          We believe you, Danny!
          You are the only one who can!
          You can make this worse!

      2. Guest Person Dude

        What would be REALLY fun? Is if they hit it off.

      3. Asurasur

        Dan it up? That expression is so babies…

    3. beugie101

      Proposition then – I Dan it up as only Dan can?

      1. xKiv

        How much damn could Dan dan if Dan could dan damn?

  2. Jen Aside

    *popcorn*

    1. Tunaro

      *video camera*

      1. GoldStarz

        *news crew*

        1. Jay Eff

          *studio audience*

        2. Auror

          HI, BILLY MAYS HERE WITH THE NEW COMPLETE MORON, FROM OXY CLEAN

        3. I don't know what to put here.

          That’s what I call…
          An Oxymoron.

        4. so279

          I see what you did there.

        5. MichaelHaneline

          (•_•). ( •_•)>⌐□-□. (⌐□_□)
          YeeeeeeeaAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!

        6. BlueRam

          Have an internet sir, you win!

        7. Parnifia the Bastard

          OH TEH NOES, YOU SAID IT.

        8. Gordon Blvd

          *dialing “9-1” on my phone and just waiting……………..*

        9. James

          trombone wah wah is primed and ready.

        10. saltchocolate

          *first-aid kit*

        11. Tomb

          *Dfibulator Charged*

        12. Yarrr

          Mud pit ready and waiting.

        13. Just for kix

          *Dominatrix dress and a whole of bunch of ropes ready*

        14. N0083rP00F

          Cardboard – Check
          Duct Tape – Check
          Box Cutter – Check
          Tape Measure – Check
          Scrapper, brush, dustpan for all the small flying bits – check
          Decon 90 with wipes to clean up any Dann residue – check

          We are good to go.

        15. CianM1301

          *Laughter track, standing by…*

        16. James

          all we need now is a machine that goes “Ping!”

  3. Tacdud2

    Yup, he was dumb enough.

    1. Spectre

      Was there ever a doubt?

      1. Tacdud2

        Well I was just reading the comments from the last strip and some people were doubting.

        1. GoldStarz

          Never doubt how stupid Danny can be… It’ll only get worse.

        2. Doctor_Who

          Everyone in this ‘verse is dumb enough. This comic is named for how dumb they are.

          At least Danny showed a little skepticism.

        3. Tunaro

          The plot is equal parts hilariously stupid decisions and people hooking up. Also Mike.

        4. Kelly

          The *three* plot elements are hilariously stupid decisions, people hooking up, and Mike.

          And dinosaurs.

          The *four* plot elements are hilariously stupid decisions, people hooking up, Mike, and dinosaurs.
          … I’ll come in again.

        5. Cholma

          Dammit. Where’s the +1 button??

        6. coolhandluke

          Nobody expects the idiocy of a teenage boy!!!

        7. N0083rP00F

          Fluffy pillows!
          Where are the fluffy pillows?

        8. Princesscarlos

          Nah, they were hoping

    2. LiamAldam

      Well it did take some convincing. Roommates are usually super credible. Billie gives some convincing evidence.

  4. Yotomoe

    Only if you tell us how you can be so wrong and cute at the same time, Billie.
    In fact, both you and Danny can answer this one.

    1. saltchocolate

      Missed you yesterday, Yo.

      1. Yotomoe

        Sometimes I don’t get home until 1 am and y’all comment so much that I don’t want to come in late.
        But not to sound conceited…but I was hoping I’d be missed… :3.

        1. Keroshino

          It worked! 😉

        2. saltchocolate

          Don’t play with our feelings, dude!

        3. Arkantos

          Word.

  5. Fermat

    One wonders how superheroes can keep a secret identity by changing their glasses. But on the other hand, at least it means that what danny’s been staring at this whole time has been her eyes, rather than anything else.

  6. Cliff

    YESSSS, Willis didn’t take the cop out. *Gets popcorn ready*

  7. Opus the Poet

    Danny is going to Dan it up again, isn’t he?

    1. Tunaro

      Oh Sweet God Yes. It’s gonna be friggin awesome.

    2. Yotomoe

      Who said he ever stopped?

    3. Reepunzel

      He’s gonna Dan it up to eleven.

    4. Badeyes

      Dan Da Da Dan Da Da Dan Da Da Dan Da Dan DAAAaaN
      Dan Da Da Dan Dan Dan Da Da Dan Dan Da Dan Dan DAN

      Dan’in it up Ponderosa Style

      1. Tom Speelman

        But Dan Blocker was COOL; this Dan isn’t.

  8. Yotomoe

    DANNY, YOU FOOL! YOU ARE WALKING RIGHT INTO A FAUX PAS!!!

    1. lividjellyfish

      NOT A FAUX PAS. THAT’S THE WORST KIND OF PAS

      1. saltchocolate

        He’s walking into a *pas* de deux.

        1. Reepunzel

          With deux pas and no answers on the board, the other family is getting ready to steal and play for fast money…

      2. Kintrex

        The worst kind of pas is a Faz pas.

    2. Badeyes

      Had me fooled I thought he was a walking faux pas.

    3. Ourorboros

      You can save him if you head him off at the pas.

  9. Keroshino

    GOD DAMMIT DANNY….AHHHGGH!!!!

    1. Opus the Poet

      Gawd Dannit, Danny… FTFY

    2. TDangerously

      GOD DAMMIT ROSS!

    3. Arkantos

      GOD DAMMIT ARCHER!

      1. sps48

        Yyyyyyuuuup!

  10. Cthulhu's Intern

    These strips are just going to be one long series of Danning it up, right?
    I’m fine with that.

    1. Plasma Mongoose

      If this keeps up, we may have to rename this webcomic as “Danning of Age”

      1. Kernanator

        It would certainly keep us from feeling false hope.

      2. rachel

        hooray I came to this conclusion as welllll!! stupid danny.

  11. Hippoman

    Dammit Danny. You were this close to not doing the stupid thing. THIS. CLOSE.

    1. Yotomoe

      If you give Danny two options, a reasonable and a stupid one. He’ll always choose the stupid one. Even if he does something right, he will by some stretch of stacked faux pas have managed to pick the stupid one.

  12. John

    Wow. Danny. This is what happens when I try to have faith in you. Well, see if I ever make that mistake again.

  13. Doctor_Who

    Please tell me he’s going to ask her on a “Mario Kart” date.

    1. Yotomoe

      And Sal will agree, but she’ll assume it’s an actual race, and she’ll bring her motor cycle.

  14. Wonder Wig

    Don’t know who’s more clueless, Danny or Detective Mouri from Case Closed.

    1. Doctor_Who

      Danny. At least with Mouri, the ACTUAL explanation sounds just as ridiculous as the lie.

      “Oh, so you are actually a seventeen year old who was given an experimental poison that had a million to one chance of taking a decade off your age. Well, obviously, why didn’t I figure that out right away?.”

      1. Kelly

        Didn’t Mouri actually show some detective skills when really important stuff was on the line? It’s been a long time since I watched any of it…

        1. Aydr

          Mostly only in the movies. He’s occasionally shown to be a competent detective in the show when he actually bothers to pay attention, but only rarely. He’s skeptical of Conan pretty often too.

          That said, it’s pretty hard to give a free pass to a guy who decides “oh I just started passing out and solving crimes while asleep all the time, ok” no matter how absurd the reason for his little naps is.

  15. Khantalas

    DANNING!

    He is Danning all the time, but at least you can’t blame Billy for not trying to help.

  16. Psycho

    They’re both idiots. All I can say.

    1. Elva Rodríguez

      OTP

  17. Bilfred

    Danny passed the not-a-brick test!

    1. Reepunzel

      If only he could pass the not-an-idiot test.

      1. Bilfred

        if only

    2. N0083rP00F

      Does he float?

      1. asmcint

        I dunno, but he turned me into a newt!

        1. xKiv

          He didn’t do a very good job of it, though.

        2. asmcint

          Yeah, I got better.

        3. xKiv

          He was so bad, you got better even before he did it.

  18. Nym

    Billy, she is your roommate! You can totally ask her for fashion tips yourself. I know she is intimidating, but you can take it as an opportunity to bond.

    Also, urgh, Danny, no, you have felt up Amazi-Girl. You know she is curvier than that. Just this once, can’t you have confidence in yourself? You came to the right conclusion the first time!

    This isn’t going to end well. *hides face in hands*

    1. Nym

      . . . How do I always spell Billie’s name wrong?

      1. xKiv

        Auto-co-dan?

    2. Badeyes

      This is the real root of Danny’s problem, not so much truly stupid as such a low self confidence that a right choice is tossed out as obviously the stupid one (because it’s the one his mind said it was what to do) in favor of the truly moronic second choice.

    3. Elva Rodríguez

      Sometimes I forget the basics on “Danny’s way of thinking”, thankfully there’s Roomies to remaind me “Danny believe whatever is easier to believe, even if he atually think is wrong”

  19. Dorsilus

    oh man this is just too good

  20. Pureed Madness

    There’s still hope for Danny! Admittedly not much but he can still realize that Amazi-Girl doesn’t have a Southern accent.

    1. Doctor_Who

      Changing your voice when in costume is Superhero 101. Why do you think Christian Bale’s Batman always sounds like he needs a lozenge?

      1. bibulb

        Heck, even Amazi-Girl’s voice changed.

        “You are not very good at remembering!”

    2. Keroshino

      There is no hope…only despair!

      1. N0083rP00F

        … and where there is despair there is ….. Faz.

  21. Rani

    Progress report:

    Sal: You’re about to be Danned by Billie

    Billie: Stop Danning it up with Danny.

    Danny: Be someone else.

    1. Kelly

      Always be who you are. Unless you can be Batman, always be Batman. Or if you’re Danny, never be Danny.

      1. Rani

        Because, as we all know, you never go full Danny.

  22. Kladeos

    I wonder if that last panel is because of people asking that on Tumblr when he posted the image of Sal.

    Also Danny, you were on the right track. Don’t let Billie’s stupidity lead you further astray.

  23. JoeMerl

    This could go very anti-climatically.

    “Um, hi. …Are you Amazi-Girl?”

    “You been talkin’ to my roommate, ain’t ya?”

    “Yeah?”

    “Then you’re dumb.”

    1. Yotomoe

      That’s only the 3rd time someone would have told him that today.

    2. fatso

      That is a best case scenario right there.

      Well, actually the BEST case would technically if she said that while removing her top.

      1. Yotomoe

        “For some reason I had the urge to have this brief conversation topless.”

        Later that week topless conversations become the latest fad among the college Population.

        People would have hard trouble talkin’ to Jacob.

    3. Nym

      I really hope it goes this way instead of Danny kissing her to sort of fulfill his fantasy of figuring it out once he’s kissed them both. Just, I am cringing in anticipation of awful things happening, and it would be so, so nice to be wrong.

      1. Baker

        Just imagine him and Jason getting in a fight though. Could be worth it!

        1. Dragon_Nataku

          I don’t think that’d be a fight so much as a sissy girl-slap-a-thon

  24. lividjellyfish

    Danny is about to get Dannyed all over the place

    1. Keroshino

      Danny pulls a Chiaotzu!

  25. Tunaro

    I don’t know how, but I really want this to end up with something on fire.

  26. OkamiKing

    By god dont abandon common sense when it actually starts working…

  27. My1Digit I Q

    Wut

  28. Plasma Mongoose

    At least Danny still seems somewhat sceptical so he gains a point in his favour.

    1. Yotomoe

      Danny gained .5 of a point.
      Danny reached leveled up!
      Your Danny is now level 5.
      Danny wants to learn Faux Pas.
      But Danny already knows four moves.
      Forget a move and teach Faux Pas?

      1. Sammie1053

        One, two, and…
        Poof!
        Danny forgot Skepticism!
        Danny learned Faux Pas!

      2. taekwondogirl

        Pretty sure Danny already knows Faux Pas.

  29. Glockenspielberg

    The slight possibility of them banging is making my brain weep

    1. ijp92

      are you kidding. I have internet cookies riding on that.

    2. Rutee

      I adore sal, am liking Sal/Jason, and consider this possibility hilarious.

      Granted, Sal would lose respect, but the DAMN YOU WILLIS would sustain me.

    3. Badeyes

      Ok that would just be awesome after Billy telling him he blew his chance.

  30. Yotomoe

    Y’know what.
    I approve of this.
    I am totally shipping Danny and Sal.
    She’s just the kind of girl to whip him into shape.

    1. Sammie1053

      No, she’s the kind of girl to just plain whip him.

      1. Yotomoe

        EQUALLY AS GOOD IF NOT BETTER.

        1. timemonkey

          Can there be outfits involved? For both of them?

        2. Yotomoe

          Sal will be in her Amazi-girl Outfit. Danny will be dressed as a teddy bear.

        3. N0083rP00F

          Do not besmirch the name of Teddy else you will have to answer to Bearalzebub.
          I was thinking possum would be more Danny.

    2. Bill

      When a problem comes along, you must whip it.

      1. Badeyes

        NOOOO!!! Not DEVO right before bedtime have you no humanity!?!?!?!
        Quick someone! What is the best DEVO anti earworm antidote?

        1. N0083rP00F

          Cool whip, oh oh oh
          That tops it off
          We think you better cool it

        2. xKiv

          see here.

      2. Ourorboros

        Whip it good.

        1. Kyrros

          Thank you, Joseph… -_-

  31. Sammie1053

    Danny appears to possess some mild degree of logical ability but is mostly just extremely gullible. This is probably going to end in facepunches and confusion.

    1. Blue Dragon

      Perhaps after facepunches and confusion, he’ll give up on Amazi-Girl and go crawling to his fallback, Amber. He’ll tell her that Amazi-Girl’s roommate revealed his girlfriend’s secret identity, and perhaps he should break up with Amazi-Girl and get together with Amber. (If she’ll take him back.)

  32. nothri

    See, this is why Billie and Danny would work so well. Billie’s brand of idiocy compliments Danny’s brand of idiocy so well it hurts! They should go and get married and raise a healthy pair of special needs chimp babies together.

    1. Cthulhu's Intern

      No, Danny and Billie would never get married or have babies. Ever. Not in any universe. Not even a universe where their friends get abducted by aliens and then fight said aliens.

    2. John

      Hey, who you calling “special needs chimp babies”? That Deej, she’s a good egg!

  33. Vash

    I don’t I can’t ugh Danny please I love you don’t be a fucking idiot.

  34. March

    Billie, it’s called thigh muscle. You used to have it. Hell, you should still have it, considering how short a time ago it was you were a cheerleader. As long as you wear a pair that fits your weight, with a top that actually sits in a comfortable place between your waist and hips, they should stay up just fine.

    …Willis, dude, seriously. Leggings fit just fine, ripped or not, when you buy good quality ones that fit you, especially when you have great muscle definition in your thighs, like someone who rides a motorcycle and escapes out windows would.

    1. Yotomoe

      Billie has more thigh than you can handle. That’s heracy against Billie!

    2. David Willis

      The chorus of people, women and men, telling me that the outfit is both obviously possible and utterly impossible is truly dizzying.

      1. MichaelHaneline

        Everybody has to get in their 2 cents, man.

        (My 2 cents is usually about other people getting in their 2 cents.)

      2. Badeyes

        Wait, how could you tell it was dizzying? Based on these plotlines I assumed that was your natural state. :^.

      3. taekwondogirl

        My only problem with them is the legging band would be visible at the top of her shorts. From yesterday, they seem like they’d be hanging up from the crotch of her shorts, as they should be visible with how low her shorts are.

        1. David Willis

          that is exactly what billie is asking about today, yes, the ability of the tops of her leggings to stay perfectly behind her pants without peeking above them

        2. taekwondogirl

          Ahha. Maybe Sal uses fashion tape?

        3. xKiv

          They are painted on?

        4. Björn

          Sal’s regards for Danny could only improve if he actually walked up and said “Hi, my name’s Danny. Umm… I’d like to know how you keep those ripped leggings in place.”

    3. AHA

      Sal’s leggings look like they’re ripped all the way up through the waist. That would be difficult to keep up.

  35. Safgaftsa

    Billie seems to actually believe this what she’s saying. I don’t get how heels would be in anyway conducive to riding a motorcycle, though.

    I also have trouble buying into the whole “Danny makes mistakes because he’s supposed to be a more realistic character” business. A realistic character should be able to recognize Amber in that costume easily.

    1. Safgaftsa

      *Billie actually seems to believe what she’s saying.

      Sorry about the typo.

    2. Blue Dragon

      Sal sans boots beside Billie.

      Sal w/ boots beside Billie.

      Sal’s boots.
      Regardless of whether heels are conducive to riding a motorcycle, Billie is right about the fact that Sal’s boots change her height.

      Pity Danny never noticed that Amazi-Girl also wears height increasing boots.

      1. Kladeos

        Actually she is wearing boots in your first example.

        http://www.dumbingofage.com/2013/comic/book-3/04-just-hangin-out-with-my-family/acknowledge/

        1. Blue Dragon

          Oops, you’re right. I guess she’s just getting squished down by speech balloons, or something. *sigh* I’ve been led astray by artistic license, I guess.

        2. David Willis

          I used to think of the Walkerton twins being about an inch taller than Billie, but now I think of them all as roughly the same height.

      2. taekwondogirl

        Amazi-Girl’s boots are only going to give her a bonus of about 1 inch of height, tops.

        1. Cybersnark

          but a bonus of +2 when crossing difficult terrain.

        2. xKiv

          And +3 to stomping.

  36. Kernanator

    Goddammit Danny. You were doing so well at first, and then you Danned it up.

    I can’t believe I believed in you.

    1. rachel

      we’ve all been dumbed astray, by the dannest of the dans!

    2. Rutee

      I would say that, by believing in him, you’ve also danned it up.

    3. I don't know what to put here.

      God dannit.

    4. Kelvandil

      The problem is that Danny doesn’t believe in himself. Poor boy.

  37. DiDi

    Oh God… here it goes.

  38. Baker

    Didn’t he see her take her gloves off? You would think when a girl takes her gloves off and reaches out her hands straight up to your face you see her skin color. Not to mention her mask never seemed to cover 90% of her face anyway, and he kisses her. I mean Danny’s a total idiot, but even he noticed when she started mussing her hair. I don’t really buy this but then again I have been convinced of things I knew weren’t true by pushy enough people before. At least as someone who is very uncertain of himself he should be just as much of a pushover for Sal to tell to back off. I hope Sal stomps all over him and he learns to be a little more certain of what he knows to be true.

    1. Memyself

      Suspension of disbelief.

    2. Cthulhu's Intern

      You’re not thinking like Danny enough. Sorry, it’s not that you’re stupid, it’s that you’re not stupid enough.

    3. Ourorboros

      Love is blind. Which is why Danny doesn’t see the resemblance to Dorothy and Amber (for Amazi Girl, not Sal).

    4. xKiv

      Things *do* look different in nightlight vs. daylight.

  39. ijp92

    50 internet cookies says that this ends with Danny successfully seducing Sal.
    any takers?

    1. Yotomoe

      Wait…do I lose internet cookies if I’m wrong?…is that technically a good thing since it’ll make my browser run faster?

      1. ijp92

        clarification.
        internet CHOCOLATE CHIP cookies.

    2. Gram91

      I’ll see your 50 and raise 25 that he gets punched in the stomach and then a kiss.

      1. ijp92

        done.
        …It better be an awesome kiss. 75 cookies is a lot.

        1. Gram91

          I’d be content with the punch, but I’m a sucker for the old stuff.

        2. ijp92

          if its just a punch its Yotomoe’s win.
          unless somebody else joins the pot.

        3. Gram91

          Please note that I mean that in terms of referencing the other series.

    3. Tofusmith

      My cookies are on Amber walking by, seeing him “flirting” with Sal, and deciding to give up on him for good. This is Danny, after all.

  40. Cliff

    People….where can I read roomies in full??

    1. Cthulhu's Intern

      http://itswalky.com/

    2. Kelly

      Beware though, that site is treacherous and coded in approximately 1999 (shudder). I understand wanting to archive binge, I do, but you might be better reading though gradually on http://www.bringbackroomies.com

      1. Sammie1053

        It’s always been a major point of confusion with me how Willis managed to start making webcomics in an era when the average internet connection would take a full minute or more to load an image. I know a lot of people still had dial-up years later, so it seems like it was high effort for low popularity. Either way I’ve gotta admire his conviction.

        1. John

          It wasn’t that bad. (I first archive-binged Roomies! on a 33.6, back in the dying days of the 20th century.) The original Roomies! strips were lower-resolution than the ones going up on BBR now, and mostly black-and-white line-art. Upshot was much smaller file sizes. Websites weren’t loaded down with all the fancy bells and whistles they have in the post-broadband social-networking world, either, so there was a lot less extraneous junk to load around the actual comic. And, really, we were used to anything we did on the Web happening at a crawl.

  41. jaimehlers

    Ugh, seriously?

    At least Billie’s explanation isn’t totally stupid. Sal does do Amazi-Girl things sometimes (like climb in her window). But that’s why it doesn’t work – a superhero would generally try to avoid doing superhero things when not in costume, so that should be a red flag right there.

  42. Kevin

    NO DANNY! TRUST YOUR INSTINCTS!

    1. garaden

      NEVER GIVE UP!

      …wait, no, sometimes giving up is good! Right now would be a GREAT time to give up!

    2. Ourorboros

      His instincts had him missing all the signals that Dorothy wanted to dump him all summer, Joe warning him all summer, and Amber being interested.

      1. xKiv

        IRTA “Joe wanting him …”
        x_x

  43. Mr K

    Dude, I’m not sure who’s dumber. Billie for not noticing the obvious difference between Sal and Amazi-Girl, or Danny for believing her. Seriously Danny, what’s your problem?

    1. ijp92

      I can understand Danny’s confusion in a way.
      Driving home from my out of state internship, I decided to try my hand at just using the signs on the highway and not the GPS.
      Got off on the correct exit, but panicked when I didn’t recognize anything and misread a sign.
      I turned around and ended up on the opposite side of the county.
      Turns out I was a mile from an intersection I know really well.

      1. ijp92

        *sorry forgot this last line*

        should have trusted my sense of direction. But I was full of doubt.

        Moral: Doubt cuts both ways.

    2. taekwondogirl

      Billie’s said she has seen Amazi-Girl in her own room, implying that she’s actually seen Sal “become” her, not just that she was snooping around in there. She’s also able to say it with a ton of conviction, and Danny doesn’t trust himself at all. Doubt is a hell of a drug.

  44. Ace

    Welp, I’m not reading for the next week. At least. I can’t bear to see this train wreck.

    1. Sammie1053

      the website then crashed for 6 days, meaning tomorrow’s comic was posted upon Ace’s return.

      1. saltchocolate

        I would be on life support by day 4.

    2. NoHeart

      See, that was my first thought, then i realized that brain would explode if i didn’t find out what happens.

    3. Bill

      Not me.  I am working now on perfecting a time machine so I can go back to the future and see what happens.
      It’s either that or hacking the buffer.

    4. Badeyes

      So we have to figure out how to get the train wreck in front of Ace if they don’t post tomorrow…. if we suffer they must!

    5. Kladeos

      Except you for all you know we’ll cut to a different scene tomorrow.

  45. Kernanator

    BODY SHAPE, DANNY. BODY. SHAPE.

    ARRGHGLSDJFSLFSJOIFKSASM

    YOU. DUN. DANNED.

  46. anonreader1

    I am really starting to hate his character. And not in the good way.

    I really just hate the way he’s written, and he doesn’t really make me interested in seeing how he develops the webcomic’s storyline.

    Sorry Willis.

  47. Jumpydoll

    That’s some convincing argument there, maybe Sal IS Amazi-girl.

    Seriously though, what the hell Dan?

  48. saltchocolate

    Can I just mention that Danny sounds disappointed that Sal is Amazi-girl! I love Amber and all that, but how is any person who is at all attracted to women NOT going to look at her and go “Jackpot! I win!”???

    1. Tofusmith

      Maybe he’s turned off by the smoking? I know plenty of guys who are.

      1. saltchocolate

        Actually, I wouldn’t date a smoker myself. : ) But that doesn’t mean I wouldn’t find a smoker attractive, at least…

    2. Jumpydoll

      Rather than being disappointed I thought he was just a little bit doubtful and maybe a bit apprehensive about finally approaching his girlfriend as her real self rather than her super hero self.

    3. Ace

      Different people have different tastes. I wouldn’t find Sal even remotely attractive, both from her appearance and because she smokes, isn’t modest, etc.

      1. Kladeos

        Modest in attitude or modest in dress?

  49. Nena

    I can just imagine Sal’s reaction to this! She’d tell him to go fuck himself.

  50. chris73

    C’mon Danny I believe in you, please don’t screw this up you still have a chance…

  51. Regalli

    *Grabs the popcorn* Please let him introduce himself as her boyfriend. Please oh please oh please let him introduce himself as her boyfriend. My trainwreck syndrome needs it.

    1. Rutee

      Oh my jesus. You’re right. That would be amazing.

  52. Hoboturtle

    Considering roomies this might actually go well for him while causing drama for Amber.

  53. Reepunzel

    Charlie Brown + Hair = Danny.

    1. Rutee

      Charlie Brown didn’t fail this much.

      1. Reepunzel

        Lucy’s football = Danny’s social graces.

        FIXED.

        1. Keroshino

          AAUGH!

          ….THUD!!!!

    2. Bill

      What a mess I’ve made of my life.

  54. newllend

    Well that the start of this weeks comedy sketch, but really I’m hoping this goes some where in the plot (if there is one)

  55. Aakriti

    Oh, well….Amber deserves someone better than Danny anyway.

    1. Mr K

      She’ll end up dating Amazi-Girl. Somehow.

  56. I don't know what to put here.

    Hand, meet face.

    1. All Else Fails

      Head, meet desk.

      1. Mr K

        Brain, meet bullet.

  57. OmegaDez

    I wonder who’s more clueless. Danny or Billie?

    1. Mr K

      They should start a “unable to notice the obvious” club.

      1. omegadez

        In Billie’s defense, she isn’t too familiar with Amber, right?
        So in her case, it’s more like the “Blinded by your own delusions” club.

  58. Tahkuya

    ok so if Danny and Sal hit it off (it is unlikely that will happen) a love hexagon will form Danny, Amber, Amazi-girl, Sal, and Jason…possibly

  59. Gottawonder

    Gotta wonder if Dan will notice Sal has a cigarette sticking out of her face?
    All of Billie’s blathering can not explain away that smell.

    I have never bet on Danny do anything right in this life. But….
    He’s overdue to get something (anything) right.
    He had doubts before Billie did her dumb number on him.

    I also bet that if he IS stupid enough to actually try to kiss her, she will flatten him. If he just introduced himself, she will just walk over him.

    I will never ship these two, not in this universe. Sal has made her share of screw-ups, but she is just not THAT desperate.

  60. TaintedSpud

    …

    BWAHAHAHAHAHAHA!

    Come on Danny… screw this up. SCREW IT UP AS HARD AS HUMANLY POSSIBLE! I want a disaster of Biblical proportions!

  61. All Else Fails

    Damn you, Billie!!!
    Damn you, Danny!!!

    DAMN YOU, WILLIS!!!

  62. Varangian

    Danny

    Danny you are an idiot

    Why, Danny

    Why

  63. Varangian

    I wash my hands of thee, Danny

    I will watch your heart get torn out at the root come March and sigh

  64. NoOneOfConsequence

    Perhaps SalxDanny will work in this universe……

    (NOT!)

  65. Crumplepunch

    I’ve mostly been free of this violent urge to beat Danny that seems to grip many readers.

    But now I understand.

    I am now convinced that I could punch Danny in any circumstances. On a boat, on a train, in the rain, and yes, even as a goat looked on. Should he manifest, like Beelzebub, I would punch him in real life and be damned.

  66. Kiggy

    I dunno. Billie seems to me as clueless as Danny.

    Maybe I should start shipping them….

    Way to billie things up, Billie.

    😛

  67. JeanD

    And just like that, Danny dies…

  68. Sam

    No, Danny. Don’t listen to Billie and her outright stupidity.

  69. Jackson

    I don’t know whether I’m going to wear out my face or my palm first.

  70. Kat

    Well this is going to end badly

  71. Jimmy

    Danny gets a punch to the face in 3…2…1…

  72. beege

    I blame Billy, not Danny. She has the ability to persuade people completely ridiculous things are true because she has the confidence and certainty that only comes with thoroughly self-centred ignorance.

  73. hof1991

    Billie isn’t sure if Sal’s hair is real or a wig? I know they aren’t close as roomies and Sal is gone a lot, but that is something a roommate would notice. She must see Sal getting out of bed, for example. Danny is always ready to be convinced of what ever some on tells him.

    1. What was the question again?

      An early plot point in the comic was Ruth bullying billy over the issue of Billy and Sal’s cosigned room-mate’s agreement… which billy couldn’t get done because Sal was NEVER in their room while billy was conscious to sign the thing and tends to enter and exit the room via the window.

      Which is precisely why Billy thinks sal is amazi-girl – her roommate is a bad-ass weirdo loner, amazi-girl is a bad-ass weirdo loner, ERGO they are both one and the same.

      Note that Billy is the sort of person who, upon working this out, HAS TAKEN NO MEASURES WHATSOEVER to actually dig up more evidence to back her theory up, to the point where it is fairly clear that she hasn’t actually put any more thought into the notion than “I need to find who amazigirl is, maybe my roommate is amazigirl? That’ll do. Oh look, it’s miller time.”

  74. DubstepWraith

    Dan, just abort the mission.

  75. Scott

    Mortal Kombat flashback moment in 3…2…

  76. Pinja

    Humiliation incoming…

  77. Boom

    Danny! Pull out! DANNY!

  78. TJ Baltimore

    Ya know, there is so much Dan-hate on here–he’s vaguely annoying, but he doesn’t exactly deserve death or mutilation–that I suspect Willis will surprise us all. Maybe have Sal like Dan (it’s happened! kinda), which will then put him in an awkward position when he realizes that Sal really isn’t Amazi-Girl. Or have Dan sacrifice himself to save everyone in alternate-universe-Dina style, so that everyone will step back and say, “Wow . . . Dan was irritating, but he was an amazing guy!”

    1. timemonkey

      Willis already said nobody will die.

      And Danny is hated because of that mildly annoying personality. because he never stops with it, every story leaves him just as frustrating as the last, every interaction finds a way for him to make himself act like an idiot. We give him the benefit of the doubt over and over but he always disappoints us in the end.

      1. taekwondogirl

        Right, but it’s Willis’ writing, not actually Dan as a person doing that. I almost think it’s unfair how few times he’s gotten to do anything “right”. Also, no one is giving him any credit for being loyal and telling Amber she needs to stop trying to romance him, because everyone was upset on Amber’s behalf. The ball was entirely in her court. She didn’t even have to tell him that she was Amazi-Girl; just why she made him pretend to be her boyfriend and lie to his parents. If she’s uncomfortable with the reveal, she could at least say that she needed to be in a safe area and isn’t ready to tell him why yet. She didn’t even apologize for making him lie to his parents, yet everyone came away hating Danny for this interaction.

        1. Logician

          In what sense does “Dan as a person” exist apart from in Willis’ writing? If you think the story is unfairly showing Danny in a misleading way, where is your idea of the “real” Danny coming from? What we see him do is all there is!

          I don’t give him credit for loyalty, because I think if he really cared for her, he would have noticed the obvious fact of her identity. I agree with John that he knows subconsciously, but is hiding it from himself, because he doesn’t want to deal with the difficulties of a real relationship. His only true loyalty is to his own dreams, and I just don’t have any respect for that.

        2. taekwondogirl

          I don’t think it’s fair to question his loyalty because he’s unable to figure out Amber is Amazi-Girl. Amber has quite intentionally tried to hide her true identity, and it’s been proven that changing posture and mannerisms can fool people into thinking it’s someone else. Plus the fact that there is some suspension of disbelief for artistic license’s sake.

          And I’m saying everyone else is judging Dan as a person, not Dan as a person written by someone else. I don’t have a real sense of what Danny is, I just think it’s unfortunate that Willis continually chooses to write Dan as an idiot who has no hope of character progression at the moment.

          And finally, I find the idea that he’s only loyal to his dreams is a bit far-fetched. He might be loyal for the wrong reasons often, but that doesn’t mean he’s only doing it for himself.

        3. Logician

          You say “it’s unfortunate that Willis continually chooses to write Dan as an idiot.” I utterly disagree. I think Willis’ writing is excellent, not unfortunate in any way. And Danny, as a product of that writing, IS an idiot.

          You are effectively asking Willis to write a different character: the character you think Danny should be, or could be. If that’s what you want, write your own story!

        4. taekwondogirl

          I’m not asking him to write a different character, I’m just disappointed that the character is stymied.

        5. UseringUserton

          As a logician, can you concede the fact that her identity could possibly be not obvious to a character in the world of the story?

        6. Logician

          Of course, and that is exactly what happens in a lot of superhero comics. But that would mean that this comic isn’t set in the real world: it would be a fantasy world which works by different rules. Everything we have seen so far: the setting, the characters, the story, and Willis’ comments have implied that this comic is realistic. It’s about how his characters would get on without aliens and superpowers. I hope and believe that also means without ludicrous rules that are really only there to cover up plot holes.

        7. taekwondogirl

          If this comic was completely realistic, the cops would kinda be hunting down Amazi-Girl because masked vigilantism is pretty not okay. Also, there would be a LOT more problems and issues with how Mike beat the shit out of Joe in the middle of public on his date with Joyce. As well as the fact that characters manage to drag Dina unintentionally along without noticing they were doing it, that Sal is able to jump out of a 2 story window, Roz and Joe were able to strap a webcam to Dan’s foot without him waking up…. etc.

          There are a TON of things in this comic that aren’t completely realistic, so I don’t see why we have to suddenly act that the comic obeys all laws of realism when it comes to people recognizing Amazi-Girl as Amber.

        8. Rutee

          Dan isn’t a person. He’s a fictional construct. And I genuinely don’t care that he was loyal. I’m not upset at all, much less on amber’s behalf. Girls got issues…but she was saving him from his parents, just like he was.

        9. taekwondogirl

          I *know* he isn’t a person. I’m saying everyone who hates him in the DoA fandom is judging him like he is one, as opposed to acknowledging that all they’re seeing is what Willis chooses to write about him.

          And while she helped Danny out, let’s not act like this was a 50/50 mutually beneficial arrangement Amber put them in. I don’t blame her for what she did, I blame her for not explaining to him as a friend afterwards why she had to take advantage of his trust.

          Also, if you’re not upset at all and don’t care about his positive or negative traits, you were not the intended audience of my post as you’re not the one unfairly judging him.

        10. ninja_jesus

          That’s a very narrow-minded way of looking at fiction. Dan may be a fctional construct, but he very much represents a type of real person.

        11. Shaggy-Donahugh

          Maybe that’s what pisses so many people off when they see him. Ninja-Jesus, you have hit the jackpot. Dan is the low-esteem, not bright but not outright stupid, lovestruck, head-in-the clouds fool that many many many of us were at one point or another in our lives. That’s why (I believe) a lot of people can’t stand him, because it reminds them of the times that they did something incredibly stupid, and he just keeps doing it over and over again.
          Hell, I’ll say it. IRL, I am Danny. I am the kinda bright, nerdy, gullible, low-self-esteem, head in the clouds, lovesick fool that acts on impulses. Only recently have I managed to pull myself together enough to do anything about it.
          But I digress. Danny is a character in a webcomic, and he exists here, in Willis’s head, and we can substitute ourselves in his place for all those times that we did stupid things without really thinking about it. Now as for how he’s written, we have no control over it so there’s no point in complaining about those that say that he needs to fall off a cliff and onto his face. There are those of us that like Danny (me and a few others), there’s a reason he wasn’t at the bottom of the poll for favorite characters. He’s the character to have hope for, and even though he’s going to Dan things up, and continue to Dan things up, and have to deal with the things he’s already Danned up, he’s also growing as a character. It’s just that we can’t really see it yet.
          So have hope, and don’t be so worried about it. Let the naysayers naysay and just smile as you watch him bumble along. He’ll figure it out eventually.

  79. Tenn

    Hilarity has been peeking from behind the curtain since yesterday, with the hugest grin on its face.

    “Issat my cue? Am I on now? I just can’t wait to ensuuuuue!”

  80. DragonStryk72

    Well, actually, he’s never actually stated he believed that really is Amazi-Girl, but even if he does, it would be off of “proof” given by Sal’s own roommate, that includes entirely pluasible points, such as that Sal is wearing heeled boots, could have worn a wig, and has been vanishing at night, when Amazi-Girl is supposed to be out and about.

    I don’t think it’s Danny being an idiot, in so much as Billie seeming to have actual proof, thus causing confusion in Danny.

    1. Jumpydoll

      While all her evidence would probably good enough for anyone else, Danny is supposed to be Amazi-girls boyfriend so he should be able to at /least/ recognise the difference in both body shape and skin colour. Or so I’d like to think, but then again this is Danny.

  81. N0083rP00F

    What would be a real twist would be Sal asking if he knew math and could teach her …. and he did ……. and would still Dan up that relationship somehow.

  82. The E-man

    oh noooooooooooooooooooo

  83. MsSchiff

    My GOD. It’s like watching Silver Age Jimmy Olsen and Lois Lane.
    …Okay not a perfect metaphor. But Billie gets macked on almost as often as Jimmy gets a Stupor Power, and Danny is clearly as dumb as Lois.
    Everyone take a shot of their favorite beverage!

    1. What was the question again?

      90% of louis lane comics from the silver age consisted of Louis Lane finding out that Clark Kent was superman, and then Superman being a jerk and tricking her into thinking otherwise using the most bizzare and nonsensical means neccesary.

      The other 10% was Louis Lane getting super-powers or Superman being turned into a cat or something.

      Louis Lane was not in any way stupid is what I’m getting at.

      1. LiaHansen

        Don’t defend the most quintessentially nonsensically mindbogglingly selectively stupid character in comics just to make Danny look bad. I mean, that’s the very situation that Willis is parodying here.

        1. Kern

          He is handling it a little clumsily though.

          Personality wise the mix up is understandable but anyone with two eyes should be able to see this makes no sense and it feels like Willis is trying to force this because he is using two of his stock characters who happen to look nothing a like.

  84. Twirls

    This is going to be good…

  85. TJ Baltimore

    Quick question: have Sal and Joe met? I think they would work well together. (Of course, couples that work well together aren’t always reliable for entertainment.)

  86. XMinusOne

    If you look up the word ‘naive’ in the dictionary, Danny’s picture is next to it as an example. His picture is also next to the word ‘gullible’, oh, wait, here it is next to ‘guileless’ and ‘clueless’ and …

  87. Timni16

    ha…haha….HAHAHAHAHA!!! O GOD THIS IS GOING TO BE SOOOOO AWKWARD!!!

  88. Roborat

    Last panel is ironic, as I was going to ask the same question yesterday.

  89. Axel

    Uh oh, this is already starting to trigger painful sympathetic embarrassment, just thinking about the next comic. I may have to lay off of the comic a week and come back to power through this conversation quickly.

    1. rachel

      dumbing of age: it never stops hurting

  90. ninja_jesus

    You disappoint me. You should have used your comic book knowledge to your advantage, but alas, you fucking Danned it. You would think “Danning” it would also consist of using comic book knowledge within the context of the real world, but nooooooooo.

  91. Corsair114

    He’s just gonna out-of-the-blue kiss her, isn’t he?

    It’s gonna be fun watchin’ Sal knock his teeth through the back of his skull if does.

  92. Variaman

    Plot twist: she actually is Amazi-girl.

  93. Claire

    Does Danny get half points for initially not thinking she’s Amazi-girl?

    1. xKiv

      Half, yes.
      Half of zero.

    2. Sam

      He gets a tenth of a point. He loses nine tenths for letting Billie somehow warp his brain into believing that Sal could look anything like Amazi-girl and for not picking up the difference in skin colour.

      1. Aydr

        In case you didn’t notice everyone in this webcomic except Joyce seems to be *literally* colorblind when it comes to races. Somehow nobody else has been able to notice that she’s white, the best anyone has managed is “female” no matter what the circumstance.

        1. Claire

          Well as Danny said, he did see her most often in the dark, maybe it is hard to tell pigmentation?

  94. man in black

    Great page

  95. Aydr

    Certainly not gonna read through this many comments, but I find it kind of funny how many people here seem sure that Sal could never have any interest in Danny, considering that not only were they a thing but she straight up pined over him for quite a while there in the walkyverse.

  96. Maycroft

    Time to pick this up where it was left off.

  97. John Madden

    Danny you dimbulb.

  98. desai

    Sal suddenly discovers that Danny’s built like a less snarky Jason. Amazigirl is forgotten by Dan. Amber and Dina realize they’re meant for each other.

  99. Kern

    No, just no. I can’t take this seriously. Skin colour alone would make it quite obvious this a different person. Even in the dark you can tell the difference between skin tone, unless Amber is a lot less pale white and Sal is a lot lighter than this comic has led me to believe.

    As would the difference in voice and tone of the person, sure you could change that for a casual observer but when you hang out with someone over a certain amount of time its very difficult to hide.

    On top of which he even pointed out the height thing. Sure the other things can change but height? yeah, no, the only forms of doing that are easily noticable and look unnatural.

  100. Pebble

    Are we going to get to see these boots? One hopes so.

  101. lightsabermario

    There isn’t enough Wah-Wah sound effects in the world for you, Danny.

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