I feel like this is a misunderstanding of why people do this. It’s not about proving that one’s life is also as bad as theirs, it’s about explaining that you’ve been through something similar and thus the person is not alone in their pain.
It’s a neurodivergent thing.
Felix
Yeah, but I took it away as representing the point of view from the ‘first party’ in that discussion. That is the one saying ‘oh no’.
That’s it Becks – never think about today what you can successfully put off until tomorrow! Let that be Future Becks’ problem instead, she can cope with it better than you anyway ‘cos she’s older! Alternatively, maybe she deserves that problem more than you do, ‘cos of all the stuff she’s done that you haven’t yet! xD
God, Jennifer is so toxic. Obviously “moving on” to her just means “being in a relationship.” If Ruthless is doing better and feels like she’s moved on, then she gets to say she has.
On the one hand, yes, Jennifer is clearly oversimplifying it to ‘In a new relationship = moved on; not in a new relationship (or at least screwing new people) = not moved on’, which is BS. On the other hand, what we have seen of Ruth every time Jennifer is brought up is pretty indicative of not moved on. But also X-to-doubt that Jennifer is as moved on as she claims.
Do you have to be over someone to have moved on? I’m not really over my ex, and probably won’t be until I find another long term partner, but I respect our separation and I’m looking for new partners. Have I not moved on?
It’s different for everyone. I would argue that moving on is when you aren’t going to go back to your ex. Therefore, being in a new relationship does not guarantee that you have moved on. You have simply found someone to occupy your time.
Then again, as your new relationship grows, you may find yourself moving on. Sometimes the lie becomes the truth. Your rebound may become more.
Diner Kinetic
I’d argue “moving on” from a relationship is like moving on from a tragedy- it might always suck, you might never be able to look on it as something neutral or not emotionally charged, but it isn’t always taking up your energy and you can go weeks or months without being hit by those feels.
As for what Jennifer thinks? We’d have to asher about it.
Needfuldoer
Billiefer doesn’t get to define “moved on” for Ruth, or gatekeep what “moving on” is, either. I doubt her “I’ve moved on, you haven’t” mentality would be the same even if she wasn’t with Asher.
I bet dollars to donuts she just mentally boxed up “relationship with Ruth” along with everything else from first semester so she could pretend none of it ever happened, and called that “moved on”. Introspective, she is not.
Needfuldoer
“Bet”, not “doubt”. Yaaay proofreading.
StClair
“Moving on” is so much easier if you never, ever look back or reflect on past mistakes.
Clif
Personally I think we should go back and obsessively replay our past mistakes over and over so that we can recognize when we’ve made them again.
Needfuldoer
I didn’t know you were a manifestation of my subconscious, Clif.
Can we please skip over the cringe-y kid and teenager stuff that only I remember? That horse has been thoroughly beaten to Jell-O with jumper cables by this point. Thanks.
Chris (the other one)
If your Ex comes to you, in a private conversation, professing to have come to their ‘senses’, realizing the terrible terrible mistake they moved on, and you listen, and consider re-starting that relationship… your new relationship be-damned… you’ve not moved on. This is true whether you are actually in a new relationship, or not.
Chris (the other one)
“terrible terrible mistake they made”
Demoted Oblivious
I guess it depends on what you’re thinking during your consideration. I’ve had an ex do exactly that, and what I considered was that they’re “I’m ready to take you back” was a mirror of how my parents kicked me out of their home when I was 15. The ex was parroting my own parents abusive manipulation and trying to pull the same shit on me. The funny thing was that it didn’t work for my parents when I was 15 (they accused me of dealing when I’ve never even possessed an illegal substance), so it sure as hell wasn’t going to work for my ex. I politely informed the ex that I was quite alright with us being, as they had put it, “through.” Then I got up and walked out of the café and never looked back.
So, I mean, I considered it, but never in the sense of actually getting back together, but in the sense of, “yeah, how horrifically toxic would this be for me.”
Jhon
So, have you been back to that café since then?
( a latte is a latte but a good cigar is a smoke )
Yeah, it seems to me that Ruth was generally fine with Jennifer being there and only got upset when she started making demands of her that she had no right to make. Having said that, Ruth, who famously liked to have a target for anger in the past, quickly let it go in yesterday’s strip and started getting visibly uncomfortable with the whole ordeal. I think she legitimately has moved on, even if she is not in another relationship.
Jennifer, on the other hand, despite being in a relationship with Asher now, seems to thrive on toxicity and therefore isn’t quite prepared to totally move on from whatever drama came between Ruth and her. Honestly, I doubt her relationship with Asher is that healthy either.
Lastly, Becky really isn’t as worldly as she has thought she was because she should taken the damned hint already that these two are not on the verge of getting back together like it’s midway through a romcom.
This really strikes me as Jennifer being very unhappy that Ruth isn’t begging for her back or something along those lines. You don’t get to decide if Ruth is moved on or not, sweetie. And if YOU ARE moved on then you probably shouldn’t care….about her being moved on or about her being in the class.
“I have even emphasised how stable my relationship with my boyfriend is because that is a totally normal thing to do, so it must be the truth,” she says to herself, like a liar.
To be fair, sitting far apart would’ve forced Willis to draw all the desks and students in between them as they shouted this conversation from opposite sides of the room
The middle ground of plot progression vs drawing would be Jennifer stomping off to the back instead of continuing to engage once we established they are in same class and she is not happy about it. If we are using Willis’ need as a barometer of plot set up, then she would have been free to leave… unless there is still a reason for her sitting close. Plenty of characters have split their seating in class.
Needfuldoer
Even if she was on the other end of the room, we know she’d continue dropping passive-aggressive jabs into everything she says. Billiefer needs drama like plants need water and sunlight.
And here I thought you were about to share with us your “Ode to Fuckface”, using its taxonomic nomenclature of Iguana Iguana, Conolophus subcristatus, or whatever type of iguana they are.
Thag Simmons
I have a limited understand of herp keeping, but to my knowledge most Green Iguanas are hateful fuckers, pretty easy to set off. Getting one to be as chill with handling as Fuckface is would be a feat
King Daniel
Now I really want to write an Ode to Fuckface
…I mean, I will certainly share it the next time we see that splendid iguana!
All along this has been a Harry Potter AU where Voldemort really wanted to teach Gender Studies 101 for some reason, and cursed the classroom when Leslie got hired instead.
Zach
Evil professor after evil professor teach over the top toxic gender roles but loose the class to an almost pitiable degree when they push abstinence.
291 thoughts on “Rocky patch”
Ana Chronistic
webcomic name: oh no
Clif
You just now noticed it was Dumbing of Age?
Ana Chronistic
https://webcomicname.com/post/641409382403506176
Felix
Also https://webcomicname.com/post/635040946015354880
Clif
Cultural referent updated. (Thanks).
Taavi De Vos
I feel like this is a misunderstanding of why people do this. It’s not about proving that one’s life is also as bad as theirs, it’s about explaining that you’ve been through something similar and thus the person is not alone in their pain.
It’s a neurodivergent thing.
Felix
Yeah, but I took it away as representing the point of view from the ‘first party’ in that discussion. That is the one saying ‘oh no’.
Azhrei Vep
Curse you all for bringing this into my life. It is now RUINED until I finish its archive.
motorfirebox
Ha, you wish. It’ll be ruined after that too, when you have to wait for updates.
Clif
As they say, virtue is its own reward.
Demoted Oblivious
That’s a wierd way of spelling punishment.
milu
@Azhrei Vep: oh no
(same)
Needfuldoer
The all new Rocky patch! Lets you run up flights of stairs and punch things repeatedly.
Side effects: Dizziness, tremors, slurred speech.
Ask your doctor if the Rocky patch is right for you.
Cattleprod
Putting off problems for your future self is even easier when you live in a sliding time scale.
Doctor_Who
Yeah, these kids are probably never escaping freshman year, let alone getting married and settling down, so no worries!
Thag Simmons
That said the demands of slipshine probably mean Becky won’t wind up waiting for marriage
Boh No
“This sounds like a problem for another 3 decades away at least!”
Yet_One_More_Idiot
That’s it Becks – never think about today what you can successfully put off until tomorrow! Let that be Future Becks’ problem instead, she can cope with it better than you anyway ‘cos she’s older! Alternatively, maybe she deserves that problem more than you do, ‘cos of all the stuff she’s done that you haven’t yet! xD
Sirksome
There are some problems with the her logic here but Becky x Dina is kind of the benchmark right now. Maybe the bar’s just set real low.
Nono
Nah, it’s clearly Sarah x Other Jacob.
Doctor_Who
Yeah, Sarah never has any difficulties turning Other Jacob on…providing the batteries are fresh.
Deanatay
Hey, even the best relationship requires a bit of maintenance.
Thag Simmons
I don’t believe you about the moving on part Jen
Doc Harleen
God, Jennifer is so toxic. Obviously “moving on” to her just means “being in a relationship.” If Ruthless is doing better and feels like she’s moved on, then she gets to say she has.
Tan
On the one hand, yes, Jennifer is clearly oversimplifying it to ‘In a new relationship = moved on; not in a new relationship (or at least screwing new people) = not moved on’, which is BS. On the other hand, what we have seen of Ruth every time Jennifer is brought up is pretty indicative of not moved on. But also X-to-doubt that Jennifer is as moved on as she claims.
Jenn
Do you have to be over someone to have moved on? I’m not really over my ex, and probably won’t be until I find another long term partner, but I respect our separation and I’m looking for new partners. Have I not moved on?
TemplarKnight
It’s different for everyone. I would argue that moving on is when you aren’t going to go back to your ex. Therefore, being in a new relationship does not guarantee that you have moved on. You have simply found someone to occupy your time.
Then again, as your new relationship grows, you may find yourself moving on. Sometimes the lie becomes the truth. Your rebound may become more.
Diner Kinetic
I’d argue “moving on” from a relationship is like moving on from a tragedy- it might always suck, you might never be able to look on it as something neutral or not emotionally charged, but it isn’t always taking up your energy and you can go weeks or months without being hit by those feels.
As for what Jennifer thinks? We’d have to asher about it.
Needfuldoer
Billiefer doesn’t get to define “moved on” for Ruth, or gatekeep what “moving on” is, either. I doubt her “I’ve moved on, you haven’t” mentality would be the same even if she wasn’t with Asher.
I bet dollars to donuts she just mentally boxed up “relationship with Ruth” along with everything else from first semester so she could pretend none of it ever happened, and called that “moved on”. Introspective, she is not.
Needfuldoer
“Bet”, not “doubt”. Yaaay proofreading.
StClair
“Moving on” is so much easier if you never, ever look back or reflect on past mistakes.
Clif
Personally I think we should go back and obsessively replay our past mistakes over and over so that we can recognize when we’ve made them again.
Needfuldoer
I didn’t know you were a manifestation of my subconscious, Clif.
Can we please skip over the cringe-y kid and teenager stuff that only I remember? That horse has been thoroughly beaten to Jell-O with jumper cables by this point. Thanks.
Chris (the other one)
If your Ex comes to you, in a private conversation, professing to have come to their ‘senses’, realizing the terrible terrible mistake they moved on, and you listen, and consider re-starting that relationship… your new relationship be-damned… you’ve not moved on. This is true whether you are actually in a new relationship, or not.
Chris (the other one)
“terrible terrible mistake they made”
Demoted Oblivious
I guess it depends on what you’re thinking during your consideration. I’ve had an ex do exactly that, and what I considered was that they’re “I’m ready to take you back” was a mirror of how my parents kicked me out of their home when I was 15. The ex was parroting my own parents abusive manipulation and trying to pull the same shit on me. The funny thing was that it didn’t work for my parents when I was 15 (they accused me of dealing when I’ve never even possessed an illegal substance), so it sure as hell wasn’t going to work for my ex. I politely informed the ex that I was quite alright with us being, as they had put it, “through.” Then I got up and walked out of the café and never looked back.
So, I mean, I considered it, but never in the sense of actually getting back together, but in the sense of, “yeah, how horrifically toxic would this be for me.”
Jhon
So, have you been back to that café since then?
( a latte is a latte but a good cigar is a smoke )
Kyrik Michalowski
Yes Jennifer, you’ve clearly moved on. Not like getting upset that your ex is in the same class as you shows any signs of not moving on. /s
Also, Becky you need to learn boundaries(and also that sexual attraction isn’t the same as love) and accept that people break up, even lesbians.
Dr. T
Yeah, it seems to me that Ruth was generally fine with Jennifer being there and only got upset when she started making demands of her that she had no right to make. Having said that, Ruth, who famously liked to have a target for anger in the past, quickly let it go in yesterday’s strip and started getting visibly uncomfortable with the whole ordeal. I think she legitimately has moved on, even if she is not in another relationship.
Jennifer, on the other hand, despite being in a relationship with Asher now, seems to thrive on toxicity and therefore isn’t quite prepared to totally move on from whatever drama came between Ruth and her. Honestly, I doubt her relationship with Asher is that healthy either.
Lastly, Becky really isn’t as worldly as she has thought she was because she should taken the damned hint already that these two are not on the verge of getting back together like it’s midway through a romcom.
GreyICE
Sexual attraction is a very important aspect of love for many people.
Lala
This really strikes me as Jennifer being very unhappy that Ruth isn’t begging for her back or something along those lines. You don’t get to decide if Ruth is moved on or not, sweetie. And if YOU ARE moved on then you probably shouldn’t care….about her being moved on or about her being in the class.
Diner Kinetic
I just saw it as Jennifer wanting to feel like a better person than Ruth, to be honest.
Devin
I could see either. Or both even.
cmasta1992
It’s definitely this but the chat is too blinded by shipping glasses.
Clif
It wasn’t the glasses I was shipping.
crow
“I’ve moved on,” said the person who chose to sit next to her ex out of all available seats in the room.
Sam
“I have even emphasised how stable my relationship with my boyfriend is because that is a totally normal thing to do, so it must be the truth,” she says to herself, like a liar.
drs
“‘I am perfectly happy’, says MISAKA, trying to keep from crying so as not to worry her onee-chan.”
Fart Captor
To be fair, sitting far apart would’ve forced Willis to draw all the desks and students in between them as they shouted this conversation from opposite sides of the room
Seregiel
The middle ground of plot progression vs drawing would be Jennifer stomping off to the back instead of continuing to engage once we established they are in same class and she is not happy about it. If we are using Willis’ need as a barometer of plot set up, then she would have been free to leave… unless there is still a reason for her sitting close. Plenty of characters have split their seating in class.
Needfuldoer
Even if she was on the other end of the room, we know she’d continue dropping passive-aggressive jabs into everything she says. Billiefer needs drama like plants need water and sunlight.
Jhon
the needs of the many outweigh the needs of the cartoonist
King Daniel
Coincidentally, “kickin’ that can right down the road” is how Ruth and Jennifer handled so many things in their relationship
Sure that doesn’t bode anything, tho
King Daniel
Fuckface you’re cool and all (since you’re ectothermic if nothing else) but you’re not really my grav material
Cholma
And here I thought you were about to share with us your “Ode to Fuckface”, using its taxonomic nomenclature of Iguana Iguana, Conolophus subcristatus, or whatever type of iguana they are.
Thag Simmons
I have a limited understand of herp keeping, but to my knowledge most Green Iguanas are hateful fuckers, pretty easy to set off. Getting one to be as chill with handling as Fuckface is would be a feat
King Daniel
Now I really want to write an Ode to Fuckface
…I mean, I will certainly share it the next time we see that splendid iguana!
Needfuldoer
Iguana iguana powersurgius?
TrueVCU
Becky’s plan to unite them in mutual disdain of her is working
cmasta1992
Everyone in this room needs to get their asses to therapy.
King Daniel
Why just their asses?
Doctor_Who
Only treatment for Butts Disease.
Stephen Bierce
At my brother’s, sister’s and niece’s college, the student slogan is “We’re all here because we’re not all there.”
Thag Simmons
Eh, tha cat’s prob’ly fine
King Daniel
Mister Scruffy isn’t in the room, though.
Doctor_Who
I like to think Mr. Scruffy is always with us in spirit.
woobie
Mr. Scruffy has Stealth, so he could be with us in body.
Carla's #2 Fan
Is it them, or is it the room? 😮
Doctor_Who
All along this has been a Harry Potter AU where Voldemort really wanted to teach Gender Studies 101 for some reason, and cursed the classroom when Leslie got hired instead.
Zach
Evil professor after evil professor teach over the top toxic gender roles but loose the class to an almost pitiable degree when they push abstinence.