BESIDES the scammers targeting brown people on visas (don’t ask me how I know*), there’s also that one time someone called me asking why I called them and I didn’t bc I hate phones and CERTAINLY wouldn’t call a rando and I asked what number called them and it was definitely my number but absolutely NOBODY calls from my phone
*[ok fine it’s job stuff bc immigration and our brown people from overseas have a proper healthy fear of police]
also Hank should start playing PoGo like that retired couple taking over EVERY GYM here so that way no one has his phone w/o his knowledge bc GOTTA CATCH ‘EM ALL
Simple enough, though, for Hank to check the call log on the phone. Even unanswered outgoing calls will show up … unless Carol has the presence of mind to clear the call log to cover her tracks.
Laladoria
Even if he knows, he could just be not saying anything in front of the offending party. Avoiding a fight.
Mags
He looks legit confused in the fourth panel imo. And Joyce-mama side-eyed him then pointedly turned away, which… having watched my parents on the phone before, that’s like EXACTLY the opposite of the usual reaction to calling your daughter’s phone and getting her roommate instead, saying weird things.
Mama’s been calling a bunch on dad’s phone, hoping dad is more likely to get answered than she is, is my guess. My mom’s pulled that on me before.
RowenMorland
Plot twist! It was a butt dial during Carol’s secret twerking practice. That’s why it kept ringing again and again.
SaveaName
Wife looking at him while trying not to appear to be looking at him.
He looks at her with a raised eyebrow.
She looks away.
His eyebrows go to furrowed / frowning.
He definitely knows it was her, and is just trying to be polite. It is his wife after all.
Proto
Yeah, panel 3 is pretty clearly him realizing what’s happened and panel 4 is him making up an excuse to avoid an impending fight with Carol.
Needfuldoer
I thought maybe he doesn’t want Carol to know he’s been reaching out to Joyce so frantically.
Why would Carol repeatedly call Joyce using Hank’s phone? To gush about the “wonderful news” that the church group bailed Ross out with the help of a generous contractor? I presume the Browns still have a landline, so she could have used that.
Proto
Well she has to know that Hank’s the favorite parent at the moment so Joyce is more likely to answer him.
Also I doubt the landline thing. Even older, stodgier folks aren’t rocking those these days. My octogenarian grandpa doesn’t have one.
BBCC
My family does. So do most families I know.
Uly
If he doesn’t want Carol to know, he’ll keep his mouth shut – she can’t hear what’s on the other end of the line.
Carol was probably using his phone to call Joyce because she, correctly, worked out that Joyce wouldn’t pick up if it was her and hoped Dad might have a better chance. If Joyce had picked up, she would’ve gotten a lecture or an emotional rant.
I had a lot of fun with the one calling me about there being a federal warrant out for my arrest. I kept asking for information to give my local AUSA when I turned myself in at the office. Where my spouse works. They hung up on me.
I like to string them along (without giving them an affirmative answer) until they hang up. Car insurance? Oh, I drive a ’74 Pinto. Chinese visa scam? You get the Winnie the Pooh theme song. I give the life insurance scammers Tim Allen grunts. Oh, you can lower my mortgage rates? I live in a van down by the river! My business is getting delisted from Google?Do you mean Joe’s U-Kill-’em, We-Grill-’em Crematorium, or Madame Joe’s House of Pain, home of the customer-comes-first guarantee? Replying to every one of their questions with “hello?” with different inflection is a good fallback if you can’t think of a good one.
My favorite was the time they tried to help me with by 72 million dollars in Diner’s Club card debt, because the scammer was mid-sentence when the call ended. He didn’t realize he was being played, but his supervisor must have.
I’ve noticed they’ve been calling less lately. Maybe that happens when they’re the ones who hang up.
Dorothy is right, it is astonishing that Sarah knows how to smooth-talk with anyone on the phone.
Is this because of the phone keeping him at a distance or because she’s doing it for Joyce?
Joyce is 18, and Hank is 60, and Carol and Hank went to college together (at least in the Walkyverse).
How old is John, again? I know the kids’ ages are spread out, but that’s something else.
Needfuldoer
Probably early- to mid-thirties. John was a teenager in the bonus comic where Carol was pregnant with Joyce and they were coming up with names, and she said he’s been out of the house almost as long as she can remember (so probably a decade or more). I kind of assumed he was born either while or shortly after his parents went to college.
In the same comic, Jocelyne is a toddler speaking short sentences with rhotacism. She’s probably 3-5 years older than Joyce. If she went to IU, she graduated before Joyce started.
We know nothing about Jordan, but my guess is he’s closer in age to Jocelyne than to John.
Seregiel
Jocelyn did indeed go to IU as per meeting up with old friends at the game during family weekend.
Daniel here. I’m thinking the “This is only my second call in as many days” line is to throw Mother Zealot off the fact he’s been trying to urgently contact Joyce for a while. Mother here from memory still doesn’t think Toedad did anything wrong. Hank KNOWS Toedad is a threat to Joyce, Becky and potentially anyone who gets in his zealous way…
I don’t think so—Carol wouldn’t have heard “a dozen times”, so he chose to say that out loud.
I think Carol is the one who’s been calling.
Screwball
I have heard people’s mobile conversations from a few meters away, having their volume up high. Unless she was trying to give Joyce a “great news, Toedad made bail with the help of a man named {Amber’s Dad}” phone call, “forgetting” Joyce punched Toedad good…
It’s a lot more likely that she could hear something on his phone, than it is that she realizes that Joyce is dodging her, but thinks she isn’t also dodging Hank.
So, Carol, you recognize Toedad was enough of a threat to your daughter you wanted to warn her he was out, but you still supported him getting bailed? Well. Isn’t. That. Lovely. (And if it wasn’t that… well.)
I imagine it has more to do with Joyce not picking up when her mom calls, and thinking that maybe she’d pick up if dad was the one calling.
Regalli
Oh, sure. But she continued calling as him even after she realized that wasn’t working, which suggests she had more than a regular checkin to talk with Joyce about.
And hasn’t told Hank ‘I tried calling Joyce today several times and couldn’t get her, I even used your phone just to be sure it wasn’t an issue with mine somehow’ or the like. There are ways to spin that that Hank might buy. Which suggests to me she’s keeping it all secret, and has a particular reason to do so. (We don’t know HANK knew about the bail fundraising, do we?)
I think it was him calling, and he is playing dumb because Carol is there, and he wanted to talk to her about something Carol would not agree with. Namely, warning about Ross.
You clearly don’t know an older man with a cellphone.
I can hear my dad’s phone on the other side of the fucking house.
Screwball
Daniel here. I’m thinking it WAS Hank calling, he’s just covering his ass right now. I’ve been around mobile phone calls where I can clearly hear the other person on the line, despite the call not being on speakerphone. I’m waiting for him to try and warn Joyce through code somehow…
…And for it to go right over Joyce’s head…
Yenklette
But why would he call now while Carol was around, then? Surely he’d be placing the call when Carol was in the other room.
Screwball
People do tend to move around their own homes. Started the call while nobody was around, Carol walks in, call finally connects, time for creative wording and walking & talking…
Liz
That seems like a lot of dots we’re supposed to connect on our own. Like it was him who called and he’s lying about how many times he called and his phone volume is loud enough that Mrs. Brown can hear it and she just now walked into the room vs he’s just telling the truth about not being the one who called. I think if she’d just walked into the room or if she could hear the conversation, Willis would have shown that so we wouldn’t all have to make so many guesses, ya know?
The call is actually an attempt by Mike to communicate beyond the grave. He could have just sent a text message but figures this will be more annoying.
Oh yes. I’ve done tech support and customer service for years (up to and including a stint with the Australian tax office), but put me in front of an actual person and I’ll go silent and awkward in seconds. Other end of the phone people I can handle (I’ve been yelled at by the best and never responded with more than a polite acknowledgement that I understand their frustration with the situation), but in front of me people? Don’t handle that at all well.
I’m actually betting on the former, due to his expression of what looks like actual confusion, and her turning away. Usually if you’re overhearing your spouse call your daughter, ask if they’re OKAY, and express confusion? You don’t turn away, you come closer and try to listen to hear what’s going on.
Also my mom has 100% pulled the “call me from my dad’s phone because I’m more likely to answer for him than her” trick before in the past.
167 thoughts on “Dozen”
Ana Chronistic
legit tho, spoofers
BESIDES the scammers targeting brown people on visas (don’t ask me how I know*), there’s also that one time someone called me asking why I called them and I didn’t bc I hate phones and CERTAINLY wouldn’t call a rando and I asked what number called them and it was definitely my number but absolutely NOBODY calls from my phone
*[ok fine it’s job stuff bc immigration and our brown people from overseas have a proper healthy fear of police]
also Hank should start playing PoGo like that retired couple taking over EVERY GYM here so that way no one has his phone w/o his knowledge bc GOTTA CATCH ‘EM ALL
Myles Adams
I doubt it’s spoofers, and I doubt Hank thinks t’s provider issues.
Well, not complicated spoofers. “Use your husband’s phone to call your daughter” spoofers, however…
Bicycle Bill
Simple enough, though, for Hank to check the call log on the phone. Even unanswered outgoing calls will show up … unless Carol has the presence of mind to clear the call log to cover her tracks.
Laladoria
Even if he knows, he could just be not saying anything in front of the offending party. Avoiding a fight.
Mags
He looks legit confused in the fourth panel imo. And Joyce-mama side-eyed him then pointedly turned away, which… having watched my parents on the phone before, that’s like EXACTLY the opposite of the usual reaction to calling your daughter’s phone and getting her roommate instead, saying weird things.
Mama’s been calling a bunch on dad’s phone, hoping dad is more likely to get answered than she is, is my guess. My mom’s pulled that on me before.
RowenMorland
Plot twist! It was a butt dial during Carol’s secret twerking practice. That’s why it kept ringing again and again.
SaveaName
Wife looking at him while trying not to appear to be looking at him.
He looks at her with a raised eyebrow.
She looks away.
His eyebrows go to furrowed / frowning.
He definitely knows it was her, and is just trying to be polite. It is his wife after all.
Proto
Yeah, panel 3 is pretty clearly him realizing what’s happened and panel 4 is him making up an excuse to avoid an impending fight with Carol.
Needfuldoer
I thought maybe he doesn’t want Carol to know he’s been reaching out to Joyce so frantically.
Why would Carol repeatedly call Joyce using Hank’s phone? To gush about the “wonderful news” that the church group bailed Ross out with the help of a generous contractor? I presume the Browns still have a landline, so she could have used that.
Proto
Well she has to know that Hank’s the favorite parent at the moment so Joyce is more likely to answer him.
Also I doubt the landline thing. Even older, stodgier folks aren’t rocking those these days. My octogenarian grandpa doesn’t have one.
BBCC
My family does. So do most families I know.
Uly
If he doesn’t want Carol to know, he’ll keep his mouth shut – she can’t hear what’s on the other end of the line.
Carol was probably using his phone to call Joyce because she, correctly, worked out that Joyce wouldn’t pick up if it was her and hoped Dad might have a better chance. If Joyce had picked up, she would’ve gotten a lecture or an emotional rant.
Lucy
I had a lot of fun with the one calling me about there being a federal warrant out for my arrest. I kept asking for information to give my local AUSA when I turned myself in at the office. Where my spouse works. They hung up on me.
Needfuldoer
I like to string them along (without giving them an affirmative answer) until they hang up. Car insurance? Oh, I drive a ’74 Pinto. Chinese visa scam? You get the Winnie the Pooh theme song. I give the life insurance scammers Tim Allen grunts. Oh, you can lower my mortgage rates? I live in a van down by the river! My business is getting delisted from Google?Do you mean Joe’s U-Kill-’em, We-Grill-’em Crematorium, or Madame Joe’s House of Pain, home of the customer-comes-first guarantee? Replying to every one of their questions with “hello?” with different inflection is a good fallback if you can’t think of a good one.
My favorite was the time they tried to help me with by 72 million dollars in Diner’s Club card debt, because the scammer was mid-sentence when the call ended. He didn’t realize he was being played, but his supervisor must have.
I’ve noticed they’ve been calling less lately. Maybe that happens when they’re the ones who hang up.
DarkoNeko
but Pokémon is 3v1l
shadowcell
Dumbing of Age Book 10: That’s A People On the Other Side
BarerMender
If He’s Not Your Dad, He’s Just a Sixty-year-old Dentist
CJ
Dorothy is right, it is astonishing that Sarah knows how to smooth-talk with anyone on the phone.
Is this because of the phone keeping him at a distance or because she’s doing it for Joyce?
Needfuldoer
It gets a lot easier with practice.
DarkoNeko
She’s a 2nd year lawyer student, so that probably helps ?
Ana Chronistic
I got better at phone when I stopped caring about the outcome
blither like an idiot? ‘sokay, nobody’s meeting me
Deanatay
Introverts can learn to talk nice to people on the pone. Phones provide an emotional distance that makes it easier to handle than speaking in person.
ValdVin
Joyce is 18, and Hank is 60, and Carol and Hank went to college together (at least in the Walkyverse).
How old is John, again? I know the kids’ ages are spread out, but that’s something else.
Needfuldoer
Probably early- to mid-thirties. John was a teenager in the bonus comic where Carol was pregnant with Joyce and they were coming up with names, and she said he’s been out of the house almost as long as she can remember (so probably a decade or more). I kind of assumed he was born either while or shortly after his parents went to college.
In the same comic, Jocelyne is a toddler speaking short sentences with rhotacism. She’s probably 3-5 years older than Joyce. If she went to IU, she graduated before Joyce started.
We know nothing about Jordan, but my guess is he’s closer in age to Jocelyne than to John.
Seregiel
Jocelyn did indeed go to IU as per meeting up with old friends at the game during family weekend.
Slartibeast Button, BIA
No there isn’t. Ask any of those authors of “Get Off Your Damn Phone/Computer And Talk To Real People” articles/memes/whatever.
Suet
Carol… any ideas?
Doctor_Who
Replaced by herself from an opposite universe. Hank grew suspicious when she turned off Fox News and was caught humming a secular classic rock song.
Hank’s actually calling Joyce for theological advice; he’d rather keep this version, and isn’t sure if that counts as bigamy.
Suet
And we thought Anti-Joyce was odd enough.
Alas, any theological advice would be interfered by thinking about Rich Mullins.
Matthew E Davis
Soggies will rule, after all.
Suet
Trust us, Dorothy, a calm and collected talker is the sound that sore ears, or anybody in particular, want to hear.
Also, ZOOMER
Deanatay
Meh, Zoomer’s really gone downhill in terms of service quality. Hank should get one of those new Ruttech VOIP phones.
Screwball
Daniel here. I’m thinking the “This is only my second call in as many days” line is to throw Mother Zealot off the fact he’s been trying to urgently contact Joyce for a while. Mother here from memory still doesn’t think Toedad did anything wrong. Hank KNOWS Toedad is a threat to Joyce, Becky and potentially anyone who gets in his zealous way…
Screwball
Yep, Mother Carol is on the “he didn’t really do that much/anything wrong” camp, tried to bail Toedad out of jail…
https://www.dumbingofage.com/2019/comic/book-9-comic/03-sometimes-the-sky-was-so-far-away/bond/
Yenklette
I don’t think so—Carol wouldn’t have heard “a dozen times”, so he chose to say that out loud.
I think Carol is the one who’s been calling.
Screwball
I have heard people’s mobile conversations from a few meters away, having their volume up high. Unless she was trying to give Joyce a “great news, Toedad made bail with the help of a man named {Amber’s Dad}” phone call, “forgetting” Joyce punched Toedad good…
Kamino Neko
It’s a lot more likely that she could hear something on his phone, than it is that she realizes that Joyce is dodging her, but thinks she isn’t also dodging Hank.
Cheshrin
The fact that it WASN’T Hank calling in a million panics makes me way more nervous than if he was, NGL.
JetstreamGW
I mean, it’s probably just Carol trying to get around Joyce not wanting to talk to her.
John
Carol is looking kind of guilty in the background there.
Regalli
Agreed.
At my best guess of what it was…
So, Carol, you recognize Toedad was enough of a threat to your daughter you wanted to warn her he was out, but you still supported him getting bailed? Well. Isn’t. That. Lovely. (And if it wasn’t that… well.)
JetstreamGW
I imagine it has more to do with Joyce not picking up when her mom calls, and thinking that maybe she’d pick up if dad was the one calling.
Regalli
Oh, sure. But she continued calling as him even after she realized that wasn’t working, which suggests she had more than a regular checkin to talk with Joyce about.
And hasn’t told Hank ‘I tried calling Joyce today several times and couldn’t get her, I even used your phone just to be sure it wasn’t an issue with mine somehow’ or the like. There are ways to spin that that Hank might buy. Which suggests to me she’s keeping it all secret, and has a particular reason to do so. (We don’t know HANK knew about the bail fundraising, do we?)
DailyBrad
I think it was him calling, and he is playing dumb because Carol is there, and he wanted to talk to her about something Carol would not agree with. Namely, warning about Ross.
Kamino Neko
Yes, this.
Harvey Janus
That would work if he’s on speaker phone, but it doesn’t seem that way. His expression seems more suspicious of his wife.
Kamino Neko
You clearly don’t know an older man with a cellphone.
I can hear my dad’s phone on the other side of the fucking house.
Screwball
Daniel here. I’m thinking it WAS Hank calling, he’s just covering his ass right now. I’ve been around mobile phone calls where I can clearly hear the other person on the line, despite the call not being on speakerphone. I’m waiting for him to try and warn Joyce through code somehow…
…And for it to go right over Joyce’s head…
Yenklette
But why would he call now while Carol was around, then? Surely he’d be placing the call when Carol was in the other room.
Screwball
People do tend to move around their own homes. Started the call while nobody was around, Carol walks in, call finally connects, time for creative wording and walking & talking…
Liz
That seems like a lot of dots we’re supposed to connect on our own. Like it was him who called and he’s lying about how many times he called and his phone volume is loud enough that Mrs. Brown can hear it and she just now walked into the room vs he’s just telling the truth about not being the one who called. I think if she’d just walked into the room or if she could hear the conversation, Willis would have shown that so we wouldn’t all have to make so many guesses, ya know?
Nah
I mean then he would just not repeat the dozen times part, she can’t hear sarahs side of the conversation.
clif
The call is actually an attempt by Mike to communicate beyond the grave. He could have just sent a text message but figures this will be more annoying.
Kernanator
Hmm
Hmmmmmm
Iiiiinnnnteresting.
Wizard
Some people find talking over the phone impersonal, but for others, the very lack of face-to-face contact makes it easier.
JetstreamGW
I mean, Sarah is also studying to be a lawyer. It’s not that she can’t talk to people, it’s that she doesn’t want to.
DaveM
Oh yes. I’ve done tech support and customer service for years (up to and including a stint with the Australian tax office), but put me in front of an actual person and I’ll go silent and awkward in seconds. Other end of the phone people I can handle (I’ve been yelled at by the best and never responded with more than a polite acknowledgement that I understand their frustration with the situation), but in front of me people? Don’t handle that at all well.
General Tekno
Well the look Joyce’s mom had sure wasn’t suspicious at all; noooope
clif
Neither was the movement of Hanks eyes.
Stephen Bierce
*”Can’t Do A Thing To Stop Me” continues*
Geneseepaws
Can I request, “Break My Stride”, next please?
Tacos
So is Carol the one trying to secretly call Joyce? Probably to guilt trip into something like the shitty parent she is.
Schpoonman
“Ross is out and he’s coming for Becky. If you really care about her you will not stop Ross from saving her immortal soul.”
Geneseepaws
I’m gonna suggest it was to [i]casually[/i] ask if she knew where Becky was, so she could tell Toe-Dad.
Catman
Carman
Marsh Maryrose
But does this Carman whistle?
Whirlwitch
Props for Carman shirt and ref.
BBCC
Okay, so either Carol’s the one calling or Hank’s lying through his TEETH because she’s in the room.
Kamino Neko
99.999% chance of the latter.
Mags
I’m actually betting on the former, due to his expression of what looks like actual confusion, and her turning away. Usually if you’re overhearing your spouse call your daughter, ask if they’re OKAY, and express confusion? You don’t turn away, you come closer and try to listen to hear what’s going on.
Also my mom has 100% pulled the “call me from my dad’s phone because I’m more likely to answer for him than her” trick before in the past.
Regalli