353

Tacit
Posted on March 8, 2015 by David M Willis

353 thoughts on “Tacit”

  1. Jen Aside

    half-DRESSED…? Go big or go home, Ethan! =p

    1. Ahighfunctioningsociopath

      Well, since he’s going back to his dorm/home, I guess that means he’s following your advice.

      1. Wire Segal

        Why not go big while at home? 😉

    2. Plasma Mongoose

      Give him several inches and he will give it a mile.

      1. JessWitt

        Whoa, whoa. TMI.

        1. Plasma Mongoose

          *hehehe*

      2. Orbit Junkie

        Love the new Gravatar! Where did you find a version of Billie that horrifying? She looks ready to eat my face.

        1. Plasma Mongoose

          I made it a few years ago back when I still had Photoshop, I just wanted to make a scary-ass Billie at the time.

        2. tyersome

          … well you can cross that one off your bucket list … and if you wanted to scare someone to death at the same time you may well have succeeded already … I’ve twitched every time she’s popped into view …

        3. Twilightomens

          That’s the cutest Billie I’ve ever seen.

        4. tyersome

          … so she’s already eaten your eye-balls then … Bagge was right!

        5. Disloyal Subject

          I share omens’ opinion, and palpation suggests that my eyeballs are still lodged in my skull. Some of us just have a fondness for things that can cause hurt; the world could use more Hagrids.

        6. Rowen Morland

          She looks like she’s halfway to being a Homestuck Troll.

      3. Deanatay

        Don’t you mean, “Give him several inches and he’ll take a male?”

        1. Plasma Mongoose

          That deserves a LIKE or two or even three or more. *_*

      4. John

        Give him an inch and he’ll make it a mile. ^_^

    3. tim gueguen

      He didn’t say which half would be the dressed part.

      1. Twilightomens

        Left half…or right half?

        1. Bagge

          Two face looking at porn would be truly weird.

        2. MiaKitty

          I now desperately want either a fanfiction or an art of this. I am not sure which. Either one has the potential to either be amazing or scare me for life.

          … Then again, it’s fanfiction/art. So it could do both!

        3. Gigafreak

          …So is his cock also perfectly half-and-half like the rest of him

          Does each side get erect separately to different turn-ons

          Do his left arm and right arm have to fight each other to grip said cock or does he somehow reconcile both of his halves long enough to jack it double-handed

          Do his two halves reach climax separately like some kind of demented double-barreled-shotgun penis

        4. Psi Baka Onna

          I’m pretty sure there’d be a lot of coin flipping involved before he could even decide what to look at, never mind if he’s actually aroused or not. I’m sure there’s a pun here somewhere about flipping heads but I’m too tired to think of one.

        5. Twilightomens

          Dude.
          *Wikipedia searches “two face”*
          Okay, yeah, those are some pretty pressing questions.

        6. MiaKitty

          This is a beautiful comment thread and I am ever so pleased to’ve been a part of it.

        7. neeks

          Front half?

      2. Jen Aside

        Great, now I’m thinking of Sonic the Hedgehog porn…

        [also, when people wear shoes and socks but are otherwise butt-naked, that’s my name for that, too]

        1. JustCheetoDust

          Sonic probably considered full on nudity, but the ground is fuckin’ cold, man.

        2. Disloyal Subject

          That, and when you run that fast, the surface touching the ground is gonna get abraded. Shoes are easier to replace than feet.

        3. Just saying

          It’s called “Donald ducking” and the name horrifies me, while the reality is kinda hot.

        4. NotPiffany

          Wouldn’t “Donald Ducking” be a shirt with no pants or shoes?

        5. legobil

          That made me think of Peter Griffins “Donald Duck costume” in Family Guy…..

        6. Deanatay

          And gloves!

          Wait, we were talking about Sal porn, right??

    4. Cheryl

      IKR?! Dicks OR GTFO

      1. Deanatay

        GTFO = Get That Funk On!

    5. DarkoNeko

      in more ways than one, hehe.

    6. Screwball

      Apparently some people prefer some clothing left on, lets their imagination run wild…

      Plus, considering he’s living in the dorm room for most of the year, wouldn’t that make it kinda his home? Plus he’s been repressing for a while now too, right? So I guess that kinda means he could be going home THEN going hard…

    7. timemonkey

      I dunno, if it'[s only the top half that dressed that’s pretty hot.

    8. SonicBlueRanger

      I don’t know personally I enjoy pretty shirtless guys myself. Full frontals fine but some nice abs are pretty fantastic.

      1. Deanatay

        It’s not “full” frontal if you can’t see those taut, toned abs.

        1. timemonkey

          Nobody said the shirt had to be done up.

        2. SonicBlueRanger

          Well I mean sometimes just Abs.

    9. Hinoron

      Working her way up to the point where She and He can spend an evening looking a photos of pretty half-dressed men TOGETHER!

    10. DJFlare84

      Baby steps, man. Baby steps…

    11. Historyman68

      Half-HORSE, more like!

  2. Ahighfunctioningsociopath

    Ethan, there’s no need to use the internet. You room with jacob, remember?

    1. Plasma Mongoose

      What are you suggesting, that he start burping the worm while Jacob’s in the room?

      1. Nono

        Nah, more like choking the chicken.

        1. JustCheetoDust

          Slinging “yogurt.”

        2. Jen Aside

          beating a nice tube steak with a head of white gravy

        3. Plasma Mongoose

          Or maybe polishing the porpoise.

        4. JustCheetoDust

          Indeed.

        5. Plasma Mongoose

          It’s wank season.

        6. JessWitt

          Stretching the taffy? Euphemisms are hard.

        7. Urukak

          Fluffing his Garfield.

        8. tyersome

          So you say, but you appear to have managed to fit in a double entendre at the same time …

        9. JustCheetoDust

          His boner hates Mondays?

        10. Solenoid

          Charming the snake.

        11. Tommy Bologna

          Are you guys talking about dicks?! My left toe started tingling so I hopped on here as quick as I could.

        12. DuckDuckMoose

          Buffing the brass.

        13. Spidergirl

          Well. There’s several new euphemisms for wanking I can use.

        14. Screwball

          Cracking the whip?

        15. StClair

          Touching his penis.

          What?

        16. Bill

          You realize that these euphemisms are pretty much all referring to male masturbation?  The only comparable term for female masturbation that I’ve ever heard is “playing the slots”.

          Your assignment is to come up with some other ‘descriptive’ phrases for female self-pleasure.

        17. Dapperanarchist

          @Bill – you, dear person, need the phrase “flicking the bean” in your life

        18. Shmuel

          @Bill Oh, you poor innocent lamb.

          Here are some such terms.

        19. Deanatay

          The old spit-and-polish?

        20. Marika Oniki

          @Bill: That’s because the euphemisms are in reference to Ethan. It’d be kinda silly to use female innuendo when talking about a guy whacking one out.

        21. Screwball

          I’ve heard “Polishing the pearl” for the ladies, but since it’s Ethan being talked about here, “Polishing the flagpole” is more in line with what he’ll do (or rather wants to do…)

        22. Bill

          Marika — point taken; I was just commenting on all the various phrases guys seem to have developed (and use) to refer to ‘beating the bishop’ or ‘spanking the monkey’.  I truly was not aware that the females had so many to choose from (thanks, Shmuel).

      2. LiaHansen

        That’s what straight college bros do, right?

      3. Carriethedragon

        “Oh, good, Jacob, you’re working again. I got you some soundproof headphones and a sleep mask, just cause. No reason, really. You should try them out right now!”

        1. Plasma Mongoose

          It worked for Joe.

        2. Jen Aside

          “Are… you trying to make me a sub?”

        3. Solenoid

          +1 to Jen Aside for the gag.

        4. JustCheetoDust

          +1 for the pun?

        5. Bagge

          …and pizza.

      4. Kamino Neko

        I think this is probably the worst euphemism for male masturbation I have ever seen. And I’ve seen a bunch.

        1. Plasma Mongoose

          I gotta thank GTA: San Andreas for the worm burping one.

      5. Sailor_Arashi

        “Burping the worm”.

        Wow.

        I’ve never heard that before…

    2. Jerden

      Variety is the spice of life.
      Also, real people can get uncomfortable when you stare at them as they dress. Especially when you’re aroused.

    3. alphabeast

      polishing his helmet?

  3. otusasio451

    Yay, Joyce! Back to the top of the list!

    1. Maveric1984

      We always fantasize about the one we can’t have

      1. newllend(henryvolt)

        ……..*sigh* hits too close to home.

        1. Maveric1984

          Yeah, I honestly fantasize about my ex a lot more than my fiancee. Luckily, my ex isn’t in my life anymore, so it doesn’t cause problems.

  4. TSB

    As someone who friend-ships Joyce with every character, this has been a good week for me.

    1. Bagge

      Word.

      1. Tommy Bologna

        Noun

        1. tyersome

          Gerund

        2. JustCheetoDust

          Calque

        3. DuckDuckMoose

          Participle.

        4. tyersome

          … I guess we’re just going to leave that dangling …

        5. Solenoid

          Expletive!

        6. Usayasha

          *onomatopoeia!*

        7. SonicBlueRanger

          Colloquialism.

        8. DuckDuckMoose

          Okay, you get an internet.

        9. Opus the Poet

          Portmanteau.

      2. Deanatay

        Article (pref of clothing)

  5. Maveric1984

    Wait, so all of the strips have different names? I hadn’t noticed.

    1. Catullus

      It amuses me that Becky’s tagged in this strip even though her only appearance is about twenty pixels in the first panel.

      1. Catullus

        oh this wasn’t meant to be a reply, my bad

      2. Carriethedragon

        Willis is thorough about his tagging. And it has its advantages. http://itswalky.tumblr.com/post/75124843493/secrets-revealed-while-tagging-the-older-strip

    2. No Name

      Usually. Lately, there have been a few repeat titles (hence the title text). You can find them by going back and looking for a “2” in the URL after the strip title. There might even be a few “3”‘s, but I don’t think Willis is that desperate yet.

      1. David M Willis

        Sometimes a 2 happens if I need to move a strip around. Once you create a URL, even if you delete that URL’s comic, that URL can’t be recycled for another comic, so a number is thrown on to disambiguate.

        1. No Name

          Ah, the perils of site hosting.
          Out of curiosity, why would you need to move a strip?

        2. Plasma Mongoose

          Occasionally he has modified a comic if there was a spelling mistake of the speech bubble was pointing to the wrong person, heck in one comic of his, he added an Aryan Jesus cos The Doctor mentioned that particular comic wouldn’t be quite complete without him.

        3. David M Willis

          Those examples don’t involve moving strips, though. I’d just overwrite the original for those.

          But sometimes, say, if a Kickstarter stretch goal unlocks weekend updates, you have to move some strips around to fill in the Saturdays and Sundays.

  6. Nono

    So Ethan likes the pretty boys?

    1. Plasma Mongoose

      Does that include bishies?

      1. Nono

        Does that include bishonen Batman?

        1. Tommy Bologna

          You mean Dick?

        2. Usayasha

          I think it’s well established that Ethan likes Dick.
          After Danny’s conversation with Ethan about looking like Nightwing, I think it’s safe to say that Danny likes Dick, too.

          But really, don’t we all love Dick?

        3. brumagem

          Dick is the best. Wanna go to Dick’s in Seattle and talk about the greatness of Dick?

        4. Rycan

          Hope you’re not a picky eater! Dick’s is also in Spokane, if I recall correctly, but that’s it. No Dick’s outside of Washington State! How the hell do the rest of you guys procreate?

        5. DuckDuckMoose

          Dick’s milkshake brings all the boys to the yard.

      2. Bagge

        GAAAAAH, Plasma, your gravatar eats my eyeballs!!!

        1. Plasma Mongoose

          Eyeball jellies are yummy!

        2. DuckDuckMoose

          So is your own nose, evidently.

        3. NotFred

          Not too popular, though

        4. NotFred

          Well, in the end maybe not so bad

        5. Orbit Junkie

          That is by far the most adorable thing.

      3. Deanatay

        Batboi

    2. Disloyal Subject

      He likes Danny, doesn’t he?

    3. SonicBlueRanger

      Who doesn’t?

  7. LiaHansen

    Huh, is every strip named after a word in the strip? Does that mean every strip needs to have at least one unique and interesting word?

    1. Maveric1984

      I knew that every strip was named for a word in the strip, didn’t notice that they were all unique.

    2. Nono

      Usually yes, sometimes it’s a phrase. When Marcie signs in the strip, the title is usually a transcipt of what she’s signing. On the rare occasion that there’s a strip without dialogue Willis just makes a title.

      1. No Name

        There was also “DUMBING OF AGE: COMICS ONLY FOR THOSE WHO CAN READ SHEET MUSIC” and a few others early on.

        1. MiaKitty

          I admit that I cheated on this one and asked a music major friend to tell me what it was.

          She died laughing.

        2. Rycan

          Well, at least you can tell her parents that she died happy.

          Oh, and that grav makes me really hungry for soft-serve.

    3. Reboot

      They don’t. There are duplicates, whose URLs end in -2

  8. newllend(henryvolt)

    Guess this is the one difference between Joyce and Amber, but probably because she Dumped him and not the other way around.

    1. Kamino Neko

      No, while the situation with Amber certainly didn’t help her reaction, I think it’s mostly the difference between Amber and Joyce.

  9. Urukak

    That was a fun game of Spot the Becky. I never would have guessed she was behind Ethan’s second speech bubble in panel five.

    1. tyersome

      … look for a little patch of orange …

    2. Airyu

      But… She’s in the first panel…

    3. Urukak

      Oh internet, the art of sarcasm is wasted on you.

      (I know she’s in the first panel. Well, her hair is anyway.)

      1. Tommy Bologna

        I got it.

        (Also it’s best not to talk about the hair, shit went down yesterday.)

        1. tyersome

          True, the hair razing got hair raising ….

        2. Tommy Bologna

          Daaaaaaayum!

        3. Screwball

          Badum, tsshh

        4. Rycan

          And stank to high heaven!

      2. Raijin K

        Here I figured it was just a Nachito hanging out of Walky’s mouth.

  10. newllend(henryvolt)

    And there he is still fucking talking to himself guess he wasn’t exaggerating about going insane.

    1. Maveric1984

      Meh, I talk to myself all the time. It’s only when you answer yourself that you have a problem.

      1. Solenoid

        It’s when you pause to let the other voice speak that there’s a problem.

        …

        The other voice that only you can hear, that is.

        1. Lumpy Frogsnuggler

          Is it worrying that I’m talking to myself Ethan? Yes it is Other Ethan, yes it is.

        2. Deanatay

          Sorry, “Other Ethan” is reserved for the “sparkly man-dangle” that Joyce will someday buy for herself.

        3. No Name

          That’s what’s so terrifying. Not only is Ethan talking to Joyce’s vibrator, he’s projecting onto it.

        4. neeks

          I’m so glad to see this point coming from someone else.

    2. Disloyal Subject

      Only the insane have strength enough to prosper; only the prosperous may truly judge what is sane.

      1. Screwball

        I like the way you think…

      2. Gigafreak

        I guess that means Calvinball is a deep metaphor for society.

        …This is frighteningly plausible.

  11. chris73

    And Joyce knocks it out of the park by saying the right thing, this is the Joyce I love

    1. newllend(henryvolt)

      Hopefully this will Speed up her Growth.

      1. chris73

        All signs point to yes

        1. Maveric1984

          She’s already 3 inches taller than Dorothy

        2. Solenoid

          She’ll be Ethan’s height by winter break.

        3. Screwball

          By the end of the year, she’s 6 meters tall & has unlocked the transformation skill…

          …A few months later, she’s 9 meters, helped her friends level up enough so she can use her latest skill, allowing her to join in the Combiner Wars as a team with them…

        4. Sailor_Arashi

          Unfortunately, because of Earth’s polluted atmosphere, Ultra-Joyce can only retain her gigantic form for three minutes. Time is running out!

      2. JustCheetoDust

        So she’s grinding in the RPG of life?

        …I’ll show myself out.

        1. Solenoid

          I think that the point of a lot of these stories is that she is not grinding.

        2. Screwball

          She has been known to sit on washing machines before tho…

        3. Sailor_Arashi

          It’s a pretty great RPG. You should check it out:
          http://www.reddit.com/r/outside

  12. DuckDuckMoose

    Oh, man, Ethan expresses his own preferences and sticks by them, AND he and Joyce say mutually respectful and communicative things to each other? Willis, how the hell did you fit this much awesome into one strip?

    Wow. Wow. I cannot stop loving every panel of this. I have all the feels right now. Dude. My day is made.

    1. Bagge

      I know, right. As breakups go this one went really well.

      1. DuckDuckMoose

        It’s surely the nicest breakup Willis will give us in the foreseeable future. Any other couples break up and there’s going to be rending of garments and pounding of chests, both among the characters and in the audience.

        1. Solenoid

          For instance, AmberAmazi-girl will end Danny in that case.

        2. Solenoid

          HTML fail. I wanted a strike-through.

        3. DuckDuckMoose

          Yeah, not lookin’ forward to that one.

        4. Rycan

          I wonder if IU has fallout shelters left over from the Cold War…

        5. Opus the Poet

          I’m pretty sure they are there somewhere, but they’re called Zombie Shelters now. 😉

        6. Rycan

          I though Zombie Shelters were places in major cities operated by the YZCA.

      2. Tommy Bologna

        Well nice going Bagge ya’ just jinxed it. Now Ethan’s gonna’ head back into his room and find Gorilla Grodd there messing up all his Batman figures.

        1. DuckDuckMoose

          Oh, is that what we’re calling Joe now?

        2. Tommy Bologna

          That’s a bit insulting to Grodd don’t ya’ think?

        3. Bagge

          Gorilla Grodd is a jerk with a stupid haircut.

        4. Tommy Bologna

          H-his whole body is hair!!!
          Right? Or is that fur? God I always mix these things up.

        5. No Name

          Hair is fur and fur is hair. The only real difference is that fur is what animals grow and hair is what humans and cartoon animals grow.

        6. Deanatay

          It’s chemically identical. There are differences in how it grows, and in what patterns, but that’s just as much a ‘skin’ issue as with the hair.

  13. Kathleen

    So Ethan has a tumblr, then

    1. newllend(henryvolt)

      More like a 64 Rule account… Then again is there a difference ?

      1. Disloyal Subject

        …did you mean 34, or is there a service requiring an account that specifically provides images of genderflipped female characters?

        1. No Name

          THAT’s rule 63. 64 would be porn of 63. Or is that what you meant?

        2. Deanatay

          “Don’t copy that floppy?”

        3. Disloyal Subject

          My mistake; I was remembering 64 as the inverse of 63 – male versions of female characters like Samus Aran and Princess Peach, where 63 is female versions of males like Link and Mario.

    2. Screwball

      I know Mr Willis does. I seem to have this looping in the background. Was expecting it to stop at the end, not minding it hasn’t…

  14. Bagge

    …again, I got nothing. They both said what needed to be said, they confirmed to each other that the relationship was, in fact, over, they made sure they separated on good terms and build a foundation for a potential friendship.

    Good communication, kids. (Just make sure to tell the others that you have broken up, Joyce. You don’t want any misunderstandings).

    You don’t have to open up unless you don’t want to, Ethan, but I would be happy if you stop roping other people into living your lie. And pretty men on internet seems like an awesome idea for the night.

    1. Nono

      Yeah, the most important thing now really is for Joyce to tell people the relationship is over. The one thing I could see complicating it is that she might not want to out Ethan (despite having already done so to Dorothy).

      Also bear in mind that she would probably have to re-tell the story to Billie. And Sarah.

      …That’s how Billie is going to find out Ethan is gay, isn’t it? Her fantasies of dude mack might lead to her trying to play matchmaker again.

      1. Bagge

        Yeah, that’s a complication – and it’s one of the reasons it was such a bad idea for Ethan to get into a relationship with Joyce. It made her his secret keeper, and now she has to carry that burden and deal with the extra problems.

      2. DuckDuckMoose

        It’ll be fairly awkward for Joyce, sure, but I’m trying to think of just how many people she’ll actually have to keep his secret from. Not Sarah, of course, and not Dorothy or Walky anymore. With everyone else, even Becky, some variation on “We realized we just don’t have that much in common” might be okay in the short term.

        1. No Name

          Yeah, with her personalty, I’m deathly afraid that Becky’ll take it upon herself to drag Ethan out of the closet then dynamite the thing so he can’t go back inside. As necessary as getting him out of the closet is, he needs to do it at his own pace.

        2. timemonkey

          While this is a concern pretty much everyone who cares whether Ethan is gay or not already knows. Everyone else will just tune Becky out like they did when she outted herself.

        3. No Name

          Ethan cares whether Ethan is gay or not, and that is all that matters right now. Yes, he needs to realize that no one else does (except his parents of course, but they can go screw), but if Becky outs him now, he’ll go catatonic, or worse.

        4. Sailor_Arashi

          >everyone who cares whether Ethan is gay or not already knows

          Does Jacob know?

          Does Danny?

        5. timemonkey

          I see you cut off the ‘pretty much’ to make it seem like I made an all encompassing statement.

  15. Wonder Wig

    Who gave Ethan the link to my facebook?

  16. dailybrad

    Joyce, like Becky said, I’m so glad college has changed you.

    1. Bagge

      Word

      1. Stifyn Baker

        Let’s not start that again…

      2. xKiv

        Excel?

        1. neeks

          PowerPoint

  17. Khaner

    And thus, Ethan watched a shit ton of wrestling.

    1. dailybrad

      Makes me wonder what wrestlers would be his type.

      1. Boomwolf

        MaybeThe Rock? I dunno, that dude is literally the only wrestler I actually know.

      2. Khaner

        Roman Reigns, bud.
        http://www.wwewrestling.in/wp-content/uploads/2014/09/roman-reigns-shirtless-2.jpg

      3. tyersome

        This holds real promise as a metaphor for Ethan grappling with his issues …

        1. Tommy Bologna

          GODDURNIT’ tyresome you are on a furkin’ roll tonight! Why isn’t there a like button for this shit!?

        2. Disloyal Subject

          Because WordPress is easier than the nightmare that is disqus.

        3. tyersome

          I glad my efforts meet with your approval, but I must give you a warning … I may not be able to match this before I tap out …

          Though I will note that it would be nice if Ethan quit stalling and stopped being a ‘Closet champion’ …

      4. Tommy Bologna

        The Hurricane
        Shawn Michaels
        Booker T

        This is now cannon.

        1. JustCheetoDust

          Or a Big Show and Yeti sex sandwich

      5. Stifyn Baker

        All of them. Let’s face it, a bunch of muscle-bound, half-naked, spandex-clad hunks groping each other? That’s got to be the gayest sport there is..!

        1. timemonkey

          It would be such fun if the wrestlers would just shut the fuck up and actually wrestle.

  18. DuckDuckMoose

    So… even though she didn’t mean it this way, Joyce’s line in panel 2 signifies both a request that Ethan gently turns down and, uh, some good advice for his evening.

    1. Charlie Spencer

      I would walk 500 miles for panel 2 Joyce, and I would walk 500 more.

  19. caesaria82

    Ethan/talking to himself in hallways is my new OTP.

    1. Orbit Junkie

      He’s hanging out with Ethan now? That BASTARD! I thought he was exclusive with ME!

      1. Orbit Junkie

        lol. I’m just the concept of talking to oneself. I’m not exclusive with anyone. I’m not even exclusive with one clear definition or psychological meaning. You need to chill out.

        1. Orbit Junkie

          Eh. Fair enough.

        2. Gigafreak

          …Are you and yourself in a hallway right now, though

        3. Orbit Junkie

          Well, no. We don’t keep my computer in a hallway. We do occasionally talk to myself in hallways, though.

    2. Rycan

      Naw, it’s clearly Ethan/Hallway. He will become a janitor at IU so that he never has to leave his beloved hallway for good.

  20. JessWitt

    Good things were said. Are we in the Bizarro Dumbiverse?

    1. Solenoid

      Good things have to happen so that good things can be taken away later.

      1. Orbit Junkie

        I see you’re a veteran of Doctor Who or Game of Thrones.

        Heh, Game of Dumb.
        Dumbing of Thrones.
        Doctor Dumb.

        Now I need to see these parodies.

        1. Bagge

          As long as I get to see Joyce with three newly hatched dragons I’m happy.

        2. Orbit Junkie

          Obviously in a fireproof turtleneck.

        3. Boomwolf

          Who would be Jorah then?

        4. DuckDuckMoose

          Walky is as much of a smartass as ever, but now he also hires prostitutes and goes by “Half-Man.”

        5. Screwball

          As long as I get to see Joyce with three newly hatched dragons I’m happy..

          Wait, haven’t watched any of that show except small clips, but isn’t she naked when that happens-

          …You know what, I don’t have a problem with that…

        6. Wire Segal

          Perverse Sexual Lust!

        7. Solenoid

          Galasso sends his regards.

        8. DuckDuckMoose

          First-ever female Doctor: Dorothy Keener.

        9. DuckDuckMoose

          No, I take it back. It’s Dina who would make the best Doctor.

        10. Screwball

          Daniel the Human’s sister is a Whovian & apparently He’d like to be a redhead & a female. Becky fills that role well…

        11. Usayasha

          As does Ruth. Which… is kind of a great idea, actually? But also terrifying, so I’d rather she didn’t.

        12. Solenoid

          Terrifying Doctors are the best, though! It’s why Eccleston was amazing and why Tennant at the end of his run was so good. And there’s always a hint of sadness stashed in there.

          Ruth would be fantastic.

        13. neeks

          Ok but hear me out. Doctor Carla.

        14. Disloyal Subject

          Nah, Dorothy’s too sane. She’s Companion material; Ruth nails the combined altruism, sadness, and psychotic intimidation. And she’s a redhead.

  21. cmd1095

    I doubt Joyce would ever give agreement to any sort of porn viewing but hey, just believe what ya need too Ethan

    1. Disloyal Subject

      She’s already looked up pictures of dicks; I doubt she’ll get too upset over him doing the same.

  22. Yotomoe

    Half Dressed men?
    Step your game up, Ethan. Look at them fully nude dudes, bro.

    1. tyersome

      Well, I guess a set of chaps might count as half-dressed …

      1. JustCheetoDust

        Sadly, reading this comment made me wonder if people are bothered by the redundancy of saying “assless chaps” the way I hate phrases like “PIN number” or “ATM machine.”

        1. tyersome

          I’m really glad I didn’t show myself to be an ass by doing that while horsing around ….

        2. TheCrimp

          You handled the situation with equine-imity

        3. tyersome

          Thank you! I’m always a worried about withers I should have reined it in a bit …

        4. Gangler

          I wasn’t aware it was a redundancy. I always assumed normal chaps were just some properly functional pants that cover everything up, and then the assless chaps are the ones that leave your butt exposed.

        5. tyersome

          Now you know why they say “Those chaps couldn’t find their own ass with both hands.” 😉

        6. timemonkey

          Don’t think I’ve ever heard anyone say that.

        7. Rycan

          Ba-dum tsh!

        8. tyersome

          … or perhaps, da-Bum tush?

        9. John

          I dunno, “assless chaps”, while technically redundant (if they’re not assless, they’re just pants), seems to me to imply that there isn’t anything else covering the ass, either.

        10. tyersome

          Nope, it describes the lads from the hospital for the grievously butt hurt.

          Their motto, of course, is “We won’t be caught sitting down.”

        11. Stifyn Baker

          Referring to ‘PIN number’ isn’t redundant, it’s specific. As in, “this is the number part of my PIN.” You could also refer to a ‘personal PIN’ (as in, this is MY PIN, not someone else’s, or a joint one), or ‘ PIN identification’ (as in, this is the PIN that refers to me, not you or anyone else). I can’t help you with ATM machine, though, we call ’em “cashpoints” round these parts…

        12. No Name

          It’s called a “personal identification number” for a reason. They are numbers that identify persons. Ergo, “PIN number” and “PIN identification” are redundant. “Personal PIN”, though, isn’t, because the two “personals” have slightly different meanings.

        13. Sailor_Arashi

          Before I can let you in, I’ll need to see your Common Access Card Card.

    2. Twilightomens

      But…does the internet even HAVE those?
      Are you SURE it’s legal?

      1. Yotomoe

        What if I told you that there are entire WEBSITES dedicated to it, Ethan.

        1. winter

          Nooooooo, really?!

          We must check and make sure, for science.

        2. StClair

          for SCIENCE!

    3. SonicBlueRanger

      As a recently Bisexual guy as I said up top I can say Full Nude’s awesome and all but shirtless dudes with great abs rock.

  23. Calvin Coolage

    You think Ethan keeps underwear packaging so he can look at the models?

    1. Maveric1984

      Sears catalog

      1. Screwball

        If you Google Bonds models, there are some men in there. I’m sure if you add male in there, it’ll be more relevant to Ethan’s interests…

      2. StClair

        I’m old enough to remember Catalog Porn. Back in the days before they just piped all the nudes you could want right into your room.

        1. Sailor_Arashi

          Oh, that magic moment when you picked up the Sears Catalog and suddenly realized that there were things in it just as interesting as the toys…

        2. Opus the Poet

          That and National Geographic, where many caught Jungle Fever. Used to be guaranteed two sets of native or aboriginal breasts every issue. Been years since they had Topless Natives though.

  24. John

    Go Joyce!

    Though, uh, you could make it sound a little less like you’re calling your dog.

    (I wonder what Joyce’s dog is named in this universe…)

    1. Bagge

      Walky! It’s named after a cute little mouse boy she used to crush on. “Come, Walky! Time for walky!”

      1. Tommy Bologna

        Damn it that’s probably true. Will Joyce ever stop being cute?

        1. Bagge

          I sincerely hope not. I don’t think I would enjoy the alternative.

        2. Tommy Bologna

          I don’t know, evil Joyce sounds oddly sexy.

          Like I imagine her acting the same, but when someone sneezes she doesn’t say bless you.

          So sexy.

        3. Bagge

          That sounds a lot like rebel Joyce.

          Still sexy though.

        4. Solenoid

          Rebel Joyce has a motorcycle. She races Sal on Saturdays.

        5. John

          Rebel Joyce has a scooter and a sweater-vest with “If you can read this, the b-word fell off,” embroidered on the back in a graceful cursive script. She always wears her helmet. It’s pink and has unicorns on it.

        6. Rycan

          That sweater vest is of course worn over her leather biking jacket. We need fan art!

  25. Em

    Yes Ethan! Lock yourself up in the half bath with pictures of pretty men. And maybe imagine Danny’s head on a couple of them. *coughs loudly*

  26. Shanunu

    Honestly I wonder how Willis hasn’t run out of comic names. Like 3 months from now we won’t have an overlap? That’s amazing.

    1. Jen Aside

      waiting on “a” and “the”

    2. JustCheetoDust

      I was under the impression that some titles have been reused.

      1. Spidergirl

        Actually, they have. Some comics have a “-2” after their title.

    3. Durandal_1707

      Hey, he hasn’t started getting desperate like the Star Trek spinoffs started getting in the 90s, with titles that not only were one word long and incredibly generic but also had nothing to do with the actual plot of the episode.

      “The Assignment” — what would you expect this one to be about? Just about anything? How about a demon possession story?

      “The Passenger” — what do you supposed this one is about? It’s… another demon possession story?

      “Resurrection” — no one is resurrected, instead an alternate mirror universe version of a character from the second season that no one cared about shows up.

      “The Alternate” — okie doke, it’s going to be another alternate universe version of someone showing up, right? *Wrong!* It’s just Odo’s mentor this time.

      “The Ship” — well, okay, this isn’t inaccurate, because there is a ship, but *come on!*

      1. Durandal_1707

        Is there any way to edit these things? s/supposed/suppose

        1. Sailor_Arashi

          Unfortunately not.

  27. winter

    Are they half-naked or half-dressed, Ethan?
    Is this cup half-full or half-empty?

    1. anonymsly

      The cup is the wrong size! I don’t know what that says for the rest of the metaphor though.

      1. Gigafreak

        Jockey cup, that is

        Bow chicka wow wow?

      2. Sailor_Arashi

        It says you’re an engineer.

  28. Bagge

    So, who thinks that the rest of Ethan’s night will be boring and dramafree?

    Me neither.

    Who will he run into? Danny (who will stumble into his arms)? Mike (who will kick him when he’s down)? Amber (who will have to struggle no to say something sarcastic)?

    1. Nono

      I’m going to go with Sarah, who has been suspiciously missing since last night. She wasn’t there when Dorothy woke Joyce up, she wasn’t in their room up to this point. Plus, Sarah has that major crush on Ethan’s roomate. They can bond over how hot he is!

      1. John

        Sarah was around this morning when Joyce was trying to rules-lawyer the Bible. She was probably still sleeping when Dorothy dropped by to invite Joyce jogging at fuck-no-thirty in the morning.

    2. winter

      More Ethan sounds good. This strip made me smile.

      I kind of want the rest of the evening to be boring and dramafree for him. For these reasons, I nominate Danny. They can talk about shitty break-ups and batman and deal with the UST tomorrow.

    3. Spidergirl

      Well, personally, I hope it’s Danny, just for added awkwardness.
      Of course, more Mike is hilarious.

  29. Foxhack

    That’s exactly what I hoped would happen between those two.

    Oh, if only all breakups could go so well. Well, romantic breakups, not just pretend relationship breakups.

  30. Spencer

    It occurs to me that Joyce is risking giving up one of her protectors when she says “If you still want to be around me.” It’s clear how much she’s relied on him for safety, and she’s still willing to give him up because she’s been wronging him so much.

    1. Bagge

      That’s our Joyce. She does the right thing, even when it’s hard.

      1. John

        At least once she figures out what that is.

  31. DarkoNeko

    Sounds like a good plan, Ethan !

  32. heavvymetalqueen

    Joyce and Ethan please stop making me tear up before I have to leave for work

  33. Spidergirl

    Maybe put a sock on the door first, Ethan. Just in case.
    Also, Joyce may make me wanna pull my hair out sometimes, but she’s definitely one of the biggest sweethearts out there.

  34. Victor Riley

    Not that you need permission to do what you want to do (when it doesn’t hurt anyone)… but yes.

  35. Screwball

    *Works out Webcomic updates at 1:01pm local time. Jumps on site at 1:41pm. Discovers there’s already 113 comments posted…*

    Well, that didn’t take long…

    1. Solenoid

      People begin posting the second it goes up.

    2. Maveric1984

      You seriously need to be within the first 10 minutes if you want to be in the first 50 comments.

    3. Sera

      Whoo, same time zone!

      1. Screwball

        I’m guessing Western Australia? May be plenty of animals that’ll happily kill ya, but it’s still a nice place to live…

  36. Someone Else

    To be fair, what DOESN’T sound like permission to look at pretty half-dressed men on the Internet?

    1. Maveric1984

      “DON’T look at half-dressed men on the internet”

      Yeah, no, there’s still some leeway with that one.

      1. Gigafreak

        Well then the obvious course of action is to go look at undressed men on the internet

  37. Nym

    But why is there no “Don’t care until it’s three ladies” option?

    1. Rabid Rabbit

      And why is Joe+Penny hidden under “Some other folks who we know have canonically done it”?

      1. Bagge

        They were not actually banging. She was tutoring him in math but he wants to keep it secret so Danny won’t learn that he only got a 26 on his latest test, so they made up the story about banging as a coverup.

        1. anonymsly

          And she said no layers because the she likes having something nice to look at while math is happening.

        2. HeySo

          Math is like onions..
          It makes you cry.
          Er, and has layers.

        3. Pteropine

          And stinks.

        4. Spencer

          When Joe told Danny he was “studying genders” it was actually because Penny was giving him extra tutoring since Joe is lagging behind in that class.

    2. John

      Well, we’ve already had a couple of two-ladies ones. The dude-on-dude folks haven’t had anyone.

      I got to thinking, though… I think our only real option for three dudes is Ethan, Danny, and Mike.

      I have no prurient interest in dudes banging, but I kind of really want that to happen now just because it would be awesome and terrible and hilarious and wrong.

  38. The Wizard

    Ethan, what a good name for a dog…

  39. Gangler

    I bet Ethan searches for terms that aren’t really porn, but where hopefully porn will just “happen” to pop up. Doesn’t dare to just open a private window and search for porn directly so he spends hours searching through photos of rodeo shows just waiting for a pair of assless chaps to appear because that’ll seem less weird if somebody goes nosing through his browser history.

    1. No Name

      Fun fact: if you type “Remington gun” into Google Image without safe search, in amongst the pictures and schematics of guns, you get male porn.
      That’s when I learned you could just go into the history tab and delete whatever pages you want.

    2. chisci

      I wonder if he’s savvy enough to go thru turkish oil wrestling tumblogs

  40. Nena

    Looks like a big huge growing moment for both of them.

    1. Haintsu

      Giggity

  41. JA

    The feels of this comic…

  42. Bruceski

    I love the smell of character growth in the evening.

  43. Idon'tcarenomore

    Feels indeed! Very nicely done Mr. W.
    Respectful, loving, and nice growing for them both.

    Think Ethan is thinking about coming out? Not like half the campus doesn’t know, but (exaggeration) maybe just maybe he’s ready.

    Now they just need to contend with Becky.

  44. Liz

    AWW Joyce! And Ethan! And friendship! These are happy feels.

  45. Kaunisenkeli

    You do you, Ethan, you do you. Oh, and don’t discount lubrication.

  46. takashid

    yayyyyy! finally the ethan/joyce romantic relationship is offically 100% dead in the water. thank goodness

    1. Opus the Poet

      Not really. They both admit that sexy times are officially out, now real love can emerge.

      1. Spencer

        He means that they aren’t continuing their farcical relationship anymore and are just going to continue as friends, what with how completely fucked up it was.

  47. Tenn

    Okay, apparently my long-ass comment from yesterday is still in spam filter purgatory, so I’ll just give you the tl;dr without links.

    I knew I’d seen Becky’s dad long before he appeared in DoA, and mistakenly believed he had appeared in Shortpacked! once. Turns out I had actually seen him in T Campbell’s Fans!, in one of the stories where David Willis was guest artist. Here he is: …

    WTF, I can’t even type URLs without the http bit?

    Let’s try this, then: faans dot com slash 06302010

    1. Tenn

      I dunno, am I suddenly not allowed to post URLs because the spam filter thought one of my comments was spam?

  48. Arianod

    Half-dressed?

    Oh well, at least they aren’t *completely* dressed. But seriously, Ethan, grow a pair.

  49. saltchocolate

    He already has a pair, which is part of what makes this strip interesting!

    1. saltchocolate

      Oops! This should have been a reply to Arianod . . .

  50. Maharhar

    Awwwww, Ethan.

    Actually, this would be the best time for Mike to pull off one of his “I will have sex with you but deny you the pleasure henceforth” moves on Ethan. Mike would introduce him to the pleasures of the flesh with men, but frustrate Ethan so much that it pretty much forces Ethan to look elsewhere to get that feeling again—effectively pushing him out the closet.

    Damn this strip and the speculative slash-fic it inspires in my head. 😛

    1. Solenoid

      Brilliant. Now I want this to happen.

      1. timemonkey

        But it won’t because then a dude on dude slipshine would have been possible.

        1. Solenoid

          It could always happen a little later.

  51. Deanatay

    Don’t worry, Ethan, I’m sure the nice commenters would be HAPPY to suggest several websites for you to peruse…

    1. Mr. Morningstar

      slipshine has some nice gay stuff

  52. Reaver

    I slightly like Joyce a little bit now.

  53. zmm

    Those last two panels haha awesome…
    and now…
    Danny-Amazigirl is in slight danger! Sorta? I kinda don’t see him causing her great pain twice, even if he’s attracted to danny and danny probably is

    1. Rycan

      No, but how will Amber handle it if Danny straight up tells her that he has a crush on her ex? Or Amber notices?

      1. timemonkey

        By sticking her hand down her pants and picturing them together.

        1. John

          s/picturing/watching/

          Or being the other slice of bread in a Danwich.

          (Very strange kind of sandwich that has the Wonderbread in the middle, but there you are.)

  54. brumagem

    Ethan I’m glad you’re getting more comfortable with yourself but stop asking permission for this sorta thing. You be you and all that jazz.

  55. Ashley

    Next strip Jacob finds Ethan doing just that and tells him “Why look at a bunch of pixels when you could be looking at the real thing?”
    Next slipshine comic happens.

  56. Heavensrun

    I want to give Joyce all the hugs. ALL OF THEM.

  57. BrokenEye, True False Prophet

    … wonder what Danny’s doing

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