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SPECIAL HOLIDAY SALE EVENT THINGAROONIE
Every* order I get in the online store this week, lasting from last Monday to the end of Sunday three days from now, will get a free character magnet included! Just thrown right in there. You can't choose your magnet -- it'll be random -- but, hey, free character magnet! Buy a book? Free magnet! Buy a buttload of books? Free magnet! Buy magnets? STILL A FREE ADDITIONAL MAGNET.
So, yay!
*does not include buying the links to Joyce and Walky! comics, because i can't throw a magnet into an email
261 thoughts on “Sisters”
Mr. Mendo
Leslie’s got that look like Robin’s gonna have to offer her McDonald’s to stop pouting. 😉
Plasma Mongoose
McDonalds? It needs to be higher class than that, KFC is where it’s at. 😛
Doctor_Who
Taco Bell. With Diablo sauce.
Dana
I’ve been having Carls Jr. lately. Yum.
Foxhack
Carls Jr is great, but my inevitable heart failure prefers Rally’s (aka Checker’s.)
Jiggles The Fett
Best fries evar!
Needfuldoer
Bring her to Legal Seafoods, keep the fish-n-chips coming. More eating = less spouting the terrible stuff that got her elected.
(Seriously what are half those places? We don’t have any of them up here. We only just started seeing Panda Express, Five Guys, and Chick-Fil-A less than 5 years ago…)
Slartibeast Button, BIA
Curse your sudden but inevitable heart failure!
Commodore Jeep-Eep
You know the Carl Jr’s CEP is gonna be Trump’s labour sec?
EvilMidnightLurker
…dammit, I’m gonna have to stop eating there.
Pablo360
I love (hate) how at this point “Trump wants them for Cabinet” automatically tells you they’re bad.
JCfromNC
We have Hardee’s here rather than Carl Jr’s (but the name is pretty much the only thing that’s different), and hearing about all his labor violations makes me question whether I should be eating there. And then of course, there’s the fact that the burgers there, while delicious, have enough fat and calories to substitute for two days’ worth of normal food.
rasmodeus
Brought to you by Carl’s Jr.
Mr. Mendo
Why not both? You’ve seen how Robin eats!
Stephen R. Bierce
Go to the food court at the mall, start at Petro’s and take it all the way to the cookie stall at the end.
Dr. T
Knowing how DoA’s Robin operates, she will offer to take Leslie to Chick-fil-A instead.
fogel
I was told by a colleague that her lesbian sister told her that Cfa has changed its act enough to come off the Devils Food list. Has anyone else heard that?
Plasma Mongoose
Do they still have all you can eat buffets? It is getting harder and harder to find one of those anymore.
Cholma
Old Country Buffet immediately comes to mind. I don’t think regular restaurants offer it anymore.
Plasma Mongoose
Sizzlers and Charlies were both All You Can Eat places you could once go to where I live but neither of them exist anymore.
Dr. T
Other than Golden Corral, the only other all you can eat buffet that I recall being in Bloomington is a Chinese buffet right off of campus.
Deanatay
We have Hometown Buffet here in CA, but I’m not sure how widespread they are.
Roborat
Eat there too often and they will be widespread.
Schmeedle
They’re talking about bringing back the Pizza Hut buffets though.
Freezer
I wasn’t aware Pizza Hut buffets went away.
Ramona
Round Table pizza has all you can eat pizza and salad.
Plasma Mongoose
Where I live all but one Pizza Hut eat-in restaurants have disappeared, they are all purely takeaway/delivery now.
Heartgear One
If that’s true please please let it be true!
GJT0530
Ryan’s, Golden Corral, CiCi’s pizza, a metric ass-ton of asian places, Sweet Tomato, just to name a few i know of near me. And all those except the generic “asian places” are chains, though i don’t know how widespread they are.
Needfuldoer
There are two kinds of Asian places. There are the classy ones that act like real restaruants, and the not-so-classy ones that may as well be a chain due to the consistency of the experience. Does this sound familiar?
The restaruant is in a strip mall between the Family Dollar and the check cashing place. You walk in past the quarter vending machines and strength tester, and a matre’d with a heavy accent seats you at a table with chunks of laminate missing, a paper napkin dispenser, a ketchup bottle (Heinz, but refilled with the cheap stuff), a very hándled (but full) bottle of soy sauce, the beer menu, and seats half made out of tape. Generic, maybe stereotypical “Chinese” music plays quietly in the background, but some of the songs sound like Kenny G covers. There are Yuengling posters and Budweiser neon signs on the wall, possibly covering torn wallpaper. After a few minutes a tiny waitress comes to take your drink order. You ask for Coke or Pepsi, but it’s always Pepsi.
Now it’s time to get some food, so you make your way to the steam table area with its raised ceiling and chandelier. You take a plate from the spring-loaded stack, it’s still warm and slightly damp from the dishwasher. An inkjet printed sign taped next to the plates catches your eye, it says “please donot be wasting any foods”. Before you is a wide selection of allegedly fresh vegetables, lo mein, and what is hopefully chicken prepared a dozen different ways. One steam table has the world’s most generic looking white rice, spaghetti, pizza, and french fries, it must be there to keep the kids happy. The sneeze guards have layers of Brother label tape residue from all the menu changes, and a third of the labels are wrong anyway. You load up on food, taking from the back where little kids can’t reach, and somehow not slip and fall on the slightly oily floor on your way back to your table. The food isn’t amazing, but you can’t help but feel it’s good for the price and selection. You go up a couple more times, each trip the waitress from before appears out of nowhere almost as soon as you stand and whisks away your plate full of chicken bones, used napkins, and the feather that was still on that teriyaki wing.
After your third plate the bill comes. It’s on a little plastic tray under the individually wrapped but slightly stale fortune cookies. There’s one cookie for each person at your table. It comes out to $7 a head, you pay in cash because they’d have to take your credit card up to the bar and run it there. You tip enough to bring your bill to a nice round number and give the tray back to the waitress next time she runs by with someone else’s used plate. The matre’d wishes you a nice day on your way out.
Slartibeast Button, BIA
You left out the third kind, the non-buffet ones that have a few tables, but really exist for their take-out customers.
nobodybasically
Do you write for a living? If not, you should.
nobodybasically
That was directed at Needfuldoer, to be clear.
Shpanda4354
Can verify, KFC franchises with buffets still exist. There are two in my county, even. These are the only locations where you can find gizzards and livers. Also, various Pizza Hut buffets in area.
Psyme
My eyes cannot perceive motion that fast.
Jay Eff
Nah, gotta be even more high class than that.
Take her to one of those “Authentic” Mexican restaurants where they pour red sauce all over everything. :p :p
Zach
There is a spanish place by me with a drive through.
It’s really grose inside, but I don’t care WHAT thay are frying if it tastes that good!
And the best chain is Poppy’s soul food. From their heart straight to yours.
Plasma Mongoose
Oporto is a pretty good Portuguese chicken restaurant franchise(assuming they exist over there in the States that is)
Disloyal Subject
There are chains that don’t even exist from state to state, so I wouldn’t count on it.
Needfuldoer
Seriously. For the longest time we only had the biggest national chains (McD’s, BK, Wendy’s, KFC, Taco Bell, Domino’s, etc.) up here in the northeast.
Screwball
I don’t think Oporto has hit America yet, apparently it started on Bondi Beach Sydney, & got to Perth not long ago…
Bicycle Bill
Culver’s, if you’ve got one near you.
Bagge
Oooh, Long John Silver’s
Reltzik
Nononono.
Hatzel’s. This OBVIOUSLY calls for ice cream, not a real* meal.
*not even a real meal by fast food standards.
Fart Captor
This situation IRREFUTABLY needs pizza. I know just the place…
Abel Undercity (@AbelUndercity)
FOOOOOOOOOLLLLS!
foamy
I see the comment section is discussing the important issues tonight :v
(PS: A&W)
Clif
Yeah, I was expecting comments about the changing facial expressions and instead found an education on fast food and buffets.
Stu
“What’s the opposite of Progress?”
Opus the Poet
That’s the joke!
Reltzik
REGRESS!
…. and people often regress to base instincts when they think about congress.
Bluewind
How is “What’s” the opposite of progress?
Geneseepaws
While your point is literally correct, I think you are trying to “Con” me. I thought it was: Congress; the reality of which is Agress-ive Transgression. Which shows that congress needs more LGBTQ&A representation. Here’s to wishin’ it were so.
Abel Undercity (@AbelUndercity)
“Suppose you were an idiot. Now suppose again that you were a member of Congress. But I repeat myself…” – Mark Twain
Deanatay
Old play on words, Bluewind:
Pro-gress
Con-gress
I always preferred John Adams’ line from 1776: I have come to the conclusion that one useless man is called a disgrace; that two are called a law firm, and that three or more become a Congress!
Mr. Mendo
For God’s sake, John, sit down! 😉
Slartibeast Button, BIA
The surprising part is the “Franklin smote the ground and out leaped George Washington” bit was something Adams actually wrote.
Bluewind
Oh I got the joke. I live in the south hun and I’m the granddaughter of a man who was the living embodiment of an Adult Jokes and Riddles book. It’s just fun to turn it about or give a dim witted response. I approach them like a beta tester: think of what a logical person would do and do the opposite just to see what happens 😉
A few examples of jokes and sayings
1. A rooster is sitting on the peak of a barn. One side is steep and the other is not. Which side will the egg roll off of?
2. If a hen and a half laid an egg and half in a day in a half, how long would it take a rooster to lay a doorknob?
3. Working as hard as a one legged man in a butt kicking contest.
4. Dumb as a stump.
5. Nervous as a long tailed cat in a room full of rocking chairs.
6. Number of friends before your dog died? (Response to getting flipped off) or You’ll never go back to dogs.
7. How many flies does it take to screw in a light bulb? (2 but you can’t figure out how they got in there)
8. You drive like grandma pisses: slow and all over the place.
9. Teacher: Little Johnny, it’s your turn to read your poem.
Little Johnny:
Out by the creek bank playin’ in the grass.
Fell in the water up to my knees.
Teacher: That doesn’t rhyme.
Little Johnny: Water wasn’t deep enough.
10. The Oxymoron Rhyme
One bright day in the middle of the night,
Two dead boys woke up to fight.
They drawed their swords and shot each other.
A deaf policemen heard the noise
And came and shot the two dead boys.
If you don’t believe this lie is true,
Go ask the blind man he saw it too.
11. What’s the difference between a watermelon and an elephant?
(I don’t know. What?)
Remind me never to send you to the store for a watermelon.
And so so many more many of which I wouldn’t put on here.
dunedon
#10 … Always heard this way:
Ladies and Gentleman, Hobos and Tramps.
Cross-Eyed Mosquitoes and Bow-Legged Ants.
Admission is Free, so Pay at the Door.
Pull up a chair and sit on the floor.
I come before you to stand behind you
to tell you a story I know nothing of:
One fine day, in the middle of the night
Two dead boys came out to fight
back to back they faced each other
pulled out their swords and shot each other.
The deaf policeman heard the noise
and came to arrest the two dead boys.
If you don’t believe this story is true
ask the blind man, he saw it too.
John
Okay, Les, time to call her on her crap and teach her things she wasn’t expecting to learn.
butts
woo, yeah, teach her about those LGBT rights, teach her with your tongue
(Should I stop? I think I’m gonna stop.)
Fridge_Logik
Aww Robin remembered her name!
I’m really excited for this exchange even if they are fated not to fall together.
Joe Archer
“I’m in congress, so…” – priceless.
Reltzik
Wait, a congressperson’s not allowed to say that!
…. it’s…. HONEST.
Ann Potter
not these days they aren’t. There used to be a few good ens up on the Hill my dad worked with them. They were there to make things better for everyone not just their buddies or the people who gave them cash, they are mostly retired or dead now sadly.
Ann Potter
what’s Carls’s Jr?
Slartibeast Button, BIA
Fast food chain.
FWKnight
In some areas, it is known as Hardees
Tacos
Robin is right. Sadly.
Plasma Mongoose
A VOTE FOR ME IS A VOTE FOR INSANITY!
Reltzik
Trump set a terrifying precedent.
butts
set a terrifying precedent, will be a terrifying president
N0083rP00F
Except if you actually look at the assortment of Congess-critters you may finally realize that the infestation started long ago and the precedent was already entrenched.
Ann Potter
yep started before President Obama was elected which is why he had to put up with so many ass hats and such rude and immature behavior, the teabag GOP idiots and their ilk set the stage for the total mess that will be the Drumpf administration. It is disgusting and I am and will be furious at every idiot who voted for that orange monster for eternity. Sorry but not sorry he is not qualified to do the job and he’s rude, a bully and immoral.
fogel