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Atwater Eye Care
Posted on December 31, 2020 by David M Willis
There was another new drop of Transformers: War for Cybertron episodes on Netflix yesterday, which means there's an accompanying drop of my words on Polygon to talk about them at you!  Click through, and I will Explain The Robots!

247 thoughts on “Atwater Eye Care”

  1. Ana Chronistic

    wtf, do they have the same people saying this stuff about optometrists as when they tell pregnant teens that ultrasounds use rusty needles and all that bullshit to discourage abortions

    1. MadameSocio

      God cured the blind, no? Wouldn’t put it past Joyce’s (former) church.

      1. Clif

        Starbucks sticks needles in your eyes. Pass it on.

        1. Blindness

          ah, so that’s what I was tasting in my trente iced coffee: rusty needles and blood!

        2. Rainhat

          Used to be a barista, and “don’t I wish?”.

        3. Bicycle Bill

          Am a customer service rep for a major cellular carrier, and I know exactly where you are coming from!

    2. Delicious Taffy

      Fuckin McWhat.

      Hey kids get in this big machine that does nothing dangerous. By the way, here’s a rusty needle for literally no reason.

      1. Doctor_Who

        “Okay, but why rusty needles specifically? Does the ultrasound not work with regular ones?”

        1. Clif

          We don’t know. We’ve never tried it that way.

        2. Bicycle Bill

          “TRADITION!!”

        3. Jungle Dwayne

          Obviously because rust’s resonating frequency is in the ultrasound range, duh! I thought you went to school.

      2. UnfrozenNeanderthal

        Bah, lazy fearmongers. Can’t be bothered to come up with something at least mildly sensible.

        1. Clif

          We’re going to shine lasers in your eyes to capture your soul and then install it in a cockroach. For Science.

        2. Queezle

          do I get the cockroach soul in exchange?

        3. Deanatay

          Honestly, probably better than my current one. Lay it on me.

        4. FacelessDeviant

          Lasers are cool though.

        5. HeySo

          Actually, I believe that lasers typically have no inherent temperature. :S

    3. Blindness

      Sadly, it’s “educated” people regarding vaccinations as well…for once, Fundies don’t have a monopoly on stupidity

      1. Daniel M Ball

        they never really do, Blindness. Fundies, I mean, don’t have an exclusive claim to belief in ridiculous and inaccurate information, or even contradictory ideas coexisting. It’s merely a matter of WHICH ridiculously stupid ideas are distributed to which group, and in what proportion.

        1. drs

          It’s also a matter of proportion. One can not have a monopoly on stupid ideas while still having a lot more stupid ideas than normal.

          Once you start rejecting evidence and science, it can corrupt your whole worldview.

    4. anon200

      well no needles for an eye exam thou i know of a few medical procedures for eyes that require needles in the eye.

    5. Jhon

      The needles they put in your eyes are perfectly clean.

  2. Doctor_Who

    Eye-Doc kinda looks like Grace. I’m gonna headcanon that she’s Grace’s mom.

    1. UnfrozenNeanderthal

      Totally could be.

      Now I’m trying to think of a clever name for an optometrist. Best I’ve got is Ophelia. Could go with Argus from that many eyed greek monster, but I don’t know a good feminine version of that

      1. LiterallyJustSomeGuy

        Arbies?

      2. BarerMender

        Argela?

      3. misanthropope

        Arges, i should think.

        1. jeffepp

          Argle Bargle?

        2. Fealuinix

          Argle Bargle is my head-cannon nickname for the late, not great, justice Antonin Scalia.

      4. missilentmurmur

        Eileen

        1. JellyTubes

          buh dum tiss! (Applause)

        2. jeffepp

          Oh, come on…

        3. UnfrozenNeanderthal

          Goddamnit. Knew someone would have an obvious in hindsight answer I should’ve thought of

    2. Clif

      That’s not the eye-doc. That’s the assistant who shows you into the eye-doc and tells you that you have nothing to worry about. And this is true. Unless the eye-doc looks exactly like Mike.

  3. Sirksome

    No needles but with all the bright light that’s about to be shined in your face you’ll almost think they were.

    1. Doctor_Who

      No eye needles? Was my optometrist using nonstandard methods?

      Hmmm, next time I see Dr. Fulci I’m gonna give him a piece of my mind.

      1. Sirksome

        I was born legally blind and have had to wear prescription lenses and have annual eye exams since I was 3. Never once have they used a needle. I’m not sure where that idea even came from beyond a joke Willis came up with. That’s like saying a dentist extracts teeth by smashing you in the mouth with a hammer.

        1. Doctor_Who

          I was just joking that my doctor was Lucio Fulci, an Italian horror filmmaker with a propensity for doing gory things to eyeballs. In his movies, not in real life. Probably.

          In another thread I was gonna joke that I’d found a picture of Joyce after her exam, and it was gonna be Sarah’s fate in the 1977 movie Suspiria, another Italian horror film, but I thought the image might be too graphic to be cool to link unsuspecting people to.

          I probably watch too many horror movies.

        2. Rainhat

          “Fulcis! You know, the place that does the fish?”

        3. HeySo

          I have had dentists of that sort, though?
          Well, technically they hacked away madly at perfectly healthy teeth they weren’t supposed to touch, but the end damages to my mouth were certainly equivalent to having been hit by a hammer.. so isn’t it really just a matter of nuance by that point? >.>

          ..also, before you discount dentists using hammers, I just wanna remind you that THIS existed, and certainly has a hammer-like appearance and similarly devastating effect on the teeth and jaw: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Dental_key

        4. Despite Rage

          Also, the military provides “dental work” for active duty members, and if you imagined the VA (which is usually just as bad as you’ve heard) except for teeth you’re giving them too much credit. I had to let them (as in I was legally ordered to) remove my wisdom teeth. It was … an adventure.

          My horror stories are a couple decades old, but I really doubt they got any better.

        5. Chris (the other one)

          My wisdom teeth were extracted while I was in the US Army… I can assure you, with absolute certainty, and truthfulness… that is EXACTLY how he did it. He had a hammer and a chisel. They were a medical-grade hammer, and a very very fine medical-grade chisel and pliers, but he hit the damned thing with the hammer, more than once. Worst… day… ever… 4 of them, all at the same time.
          To make the story even better, I got home (my family was with me and we lived in military housing.. I didn’t pull out the gauze like I was supposed to … every five minutes, or something. I waited, and waited and like an hour later, I couldn’t take it anymore, pulled the gauze out of the upper holes, and the pressure change made me woozy and I went to my knees, hitting my forehead on the way down. Woke up in the hospital with a hysterical child who was sure I was either a) dying, b) dead, or c) and alien with blood spewing out my mouth….
          How’s your dinner doing?

          Every word of that is truth, by the way.

        6. Regalli

          Yeah, my dad had his removed while in the army as well (in the mid-late 80s, I believe) and also got the hammer treatment. And was not offered anesthesia. Not an experience he recommends.

      2. Jamie

        The needle is how they extract your mind.

      3. ktbear

        Give him a piece of your mind?? Are you sure you can afford it? …sorry.

    2. Blindness

      That blue light test? It’s actually poking your eyes to test the pressure in them as part of testing for glaucoma…the Fundies and other idiots probably manipulated it to being “needles in the eye”

      1. Sirksome

        I’ve had that test. Isn’t it usually a puff of air blown really close to your eye? At least that’s what they did for me unless you’re talking about a different test.

        1. Blindness

          I had to look it up, and yes: same test. Other devices that are used for the same test actually do look more medieval than the newer one…if you look at one online, it does look like it’s a needdle-like.

  4. TrueVCU

    Ok Becky please find another schtick

    1. BigDogLittleCat

      Amen.

    2. Rainhat

      Maybe… does she have an unusual background she could tell us about?

      1. Reaver

        Well she IS a lesbian!

        …For serious can Becky be expanded outside of “Her sexuality” and “I really friggen hate Dottie”???

        1. Rainhat

          Well, her parents. That card has a lot of play left on it, though.

        2. Reaver

          Ah yes the three angles. “ I’m gay, I hate you and “ my parents are dead” Today I learned Becky is batman

        3. HeySo

          Nah. Batman is actually not gay (except maybe for Superman) and tends towards self-hate…. y’know what, fuck correcting that, your version of Batman is totally more interesting. Let’s go with that Batman from now on.

        4. HeySo

          Okay, well, I was thinking ‘it’s interesting because he’s antisocial and a minority’ but now I’m thinking it’d work even better exaggerated and tropey. Well, because now I’m imagining this..

          https://i.imgur.com/KywnsQe.png

        5. drs

          Many old Batman covers make a strong case for Batman being gay.

        6. Reaver

          What you mean mean he’s not gay? He’s got a huge thing for both the Joker and Supes

        7. MrSmith

          I’m sure (hoping) the author knows how Becky is being perceived and, again, hopefully we’ll see some sort of an arc for Becky

          Or she wins a full ride scholarship to another college and she goes away for good

        8. ktbear

          So the whole, Beckys father kidnaps everyone and is murdered by Blaine wasn’t enough of a story arc for you? Huh.

        9. MrSmith

          Some sort of arc where Beckys behavior towards Dorothy and possessiveness towards Joyce is addressed

        10. Marisa Mockery

          Becky’s become an overbearing bongo. She needs a reality check.

        11. Lux

          It’s really frustrating because she was one of the best characters for a while. Now she’s just kind of irritating.

        12. MrSmith

          She was always like this, its just at the start people overlooked her personality flaws because of her sexuality and upbringing

        13. Lux

          I don’t think that’s the case. The obsession over being Joyce’s best friend came off as a joke at first, but it’s gone on for way too long and it’s not funny anymore.

  5. MadameSocio

    As we all know, with Starbucks comes having needles shoved in your eye.

    1. Michael Steamweed

      Their dark roast crap sure tastes that way.

      1. Blindness

        I’ve never tasted worse stuff, and lord knows I’ve tried!

        Seriously, coffee and various sodas, juices, and other liquids can’t top Starbucks in terms of horrible tasting coffee

    2. Doctor_Who

      Carol’s fine with the needles, but her cup had better not say “Happy Holidays” on it.

      1. Clif

        We must have standards.

  6. cmasta1992

    Use the big city advanced techniques on Becky

    1. Clif

      Starbucks in the eyes it is.

      1. Sam

        You get an internet point because that made me laugh.

      2. cmasta1992

        Thank you for improving my comment. +1 from me as well

        1. Geneseepaw

          We’re not taking points from you, we’re just awarding bonus points,…??? Oh, I see what you mean. Never mind, I’m wrong.

        2. Clif

          All your points am belong to me.

  7. CrazyJ

    I hate when you have to choose between needle 1 and needle 2 being stuck in your eye and they both feel about the same.

    1. Clif

      But their usually willing to do it over until you can tell.

  8. Johan

    Jesus. I’ll take the eye puffs but only threat of eye needles…

    1. Blindness

      if glaucoma runs in your family, you might not have a choice…

      seriously, it’s one of the tests: they press on your eyes with a device that looks like a needle

      1. Regalli

        Yeah, but while it looks scary, it’s not actively painful the same way, say, getting blood drawn usually is. Once the intimidation factor of the unknown is over, it’s mostly just another mildly unpleasant experience you put up with every six months/year/apparently some people can go more than a year between eye exams, lucky ducks.

        1. Blindness

          it’s like getting blood drawn: it looks scarier than it really is. You’ve poked your eye by accident and hurt more than the device ever could.

        2. Needfuldoer

          Blood draws are goddamned terrifying, what are you talking about? Last time I needed a blood draw, I had to have the inside of my elbow numbed, a couple anti-anxiety meds prescribed (I typically don’t take any), and I still had to hide my head under my jacket. This after the first appointment was a bust because I slid into a full-on panic attack, complete with uncontrollable shaking and sky-high blood pressure.

          Fuck needles.

        3. JBento

          As someone who donates blood about 2-3 times a year, this comment baffles me…. Needlefuldoer.

        4. Sam

          I have a phobia of blood and dislike needles personally so not a fan of blood draws myself.

        5. Blindness

          that makes sense…I hated needles but after getting scratched dozens of times by my family’s cats I gave it up. Never was afraid of blood, hard to be when you’ve seen your own spurt out from a nicked artery!

        6. Needfuldoer

          Well that’s just it. I’ve jabbed, pricked, prodded, sliced, gashed, nicked and cut myself plenty of times from being careless, not wearing gloves, and by plain bad luck. That doesn’t bother me any more than the normal “ow dammit” level.

          Hypodermic needles and diabetes test strips though? I’m running for the hills on the inside. I can’t even watch video of someone else getting jabbed (which has made watching the news in 2020 even more fun, lemme tell you…)

        7. Marisa Mockery

          I haaaaate getting my blood drawn. I can’t imagine donating it. It’s painful and invasivep

        8. Despite Rage

          I would much rather have blood drawn than let anybody do anything to my eyes. I think I have a mild phobia about people messing with my eyes or my neck.

        9. BBCC

          I definitely get that, I know someone who had to get her blood drawn from her hand because she just could NOT stand anyone sticking anything in her arms.

          I used to hate needles too. After I had an allergy test when I was 11 or 12, where I had to get about 40 pricks and 2 actual blood draws, I’m over it. Good thing too because that’s about the time I had to start getting blood drawn to look at my protein/blood sugar/iron levels and check on the old heart condition every so often.

        10. Blindness

          Because I never contracted chicken pox and was feared to be a carrier I needed them pretty much three times a year…then add in liver issues, constant infection issues, and usual screens I got over the fear at 10. The eye tests are scary, but in reality they aren’t that bad.

        11. Regalli

          Eh, I get routine bloodwork every six months and while it’s not terrifying, it never gets painless. (The butterfly needles are pretty easy, though.) That said, the bigger hassle’s usually finding my veins, which are naturally deep and narrow. Even hydrating as much as I possibly can, a phlebotomist rarely finds one on the first attempt.

  9. UnfrozenNeanderthal

    Wondering if we’re going to run into Not-a-prostitute-guy here.

    He was an optometrist in Shortpacked, right?

    1. RacingTurtle

      Manny! I had forgotten until you mentioned it, but yes he was!

  10. Kyrik Michalowski

    Joyce now you’re just conjuring fears out of nothing. Becky, don’t encourage her. It is bad enough that you are acting like a dick to Dorothy all the time, we don’t need you also enabling bad habits of Joyce’s.

    1. crow

      I think Becky is doing a good job making Joyce more comfortable in this situation. Joyce is gonna have her irrational fears regardless, at least this way she’ll feel protected.

    2. Blindness

      …she actually has a point, one of the tests that you might be given is a glaucoma test which involves putting pressure on your eyes with a device that looks like a needle

  11. Stephen Bierce

    *plays the Eric Clapton version of “Eyesight To The Blind” from the Tommy TV special Fox had in the Nineties*

    1. Stephen Bierce

      Oops. Not Clapton. Steve Winwood. Usually I’m better at this. I think.

      1. Stephen Bierce

        There is a Clapton version, though.

        1. Stephen Bierce

          Some would argue that Steve did it better, though.

        2. Geneseepaw

          Thank you for these.
          Primo.

  12. NaYa

    Well, now it makes more sense why she was so against getting her eyes checked.
    Doctors = Needles!
    Though I’m not sure why she thought that since both her brothers wear glasses… maybe Jocelyne told her joke stories and she believed that?

    1. Mikey

      Maybe they got their glasses in her small town.

      1. Clif

        Maybe they got their glasses before there was a Starbucks.

      2. Fiddler115

        I’ve been to multiple optometrists in La Porte, and I can testify that none of them put needles in your eyes. I have no idea about Starbucks.

        1. Needfuldoer

          W… why would Starbucks stick needles in your eyes? Is overpriced mud water worth that?!

          Dunks doesn’t stick needles in your eyes, last time I checked.

        2. drs

          It’s Starbuck’s new Injecti size, where they pump caffeine directly into your bloodstream.

        3. Despite Rage

          I fully believe that Starbucks could include it on the menu and people would order it if it was trending.

          This is really the only explanation I have for pumpkin spice or most of the rest of the menu.

          Goddamn we need a Dunkin Donuts around here instead of the FIFTH Starbucks / end rant

        4. Needfuldoer

          Pumpkin Spice Plasmids.

  13. Kravis

    Oh no!

    Joyce has been possessed by the Lich King in the fourth panel!

    1. Kim

      She, too, is doom.

    2. Jamie

      Eh. Wouldn’t be the first time.

      1. Blindness

        that he’s possessed her or that she’s been possessed overall?

  14. plasticwrap

    bongo gonna need some glasses! Please don’t shove needles in my eye!

  15. Kim

    No tag for Optometrist Prime, over there? Would be a shame if she doesn’t return, I really like her design.

  16. crow

    What Joyce needs to watch out for is them flipping up her eyelid to look under it. They did that to me once and it ruined my entire day, and now every time I make a point to tell them “please don’t flip up my eyelid,” and they say “ok but you might have an infection there that we wouldn’t know about,” and I say “I’ll take that risk.”

    1. Sam

      What. They do what now. Who does that. My optometrist has never done that.

      1. crow

        To be fair it was only once and they said it was because I wore contacts, which give a higher risk of under-the-eyelid infections.

        1. Jamie

          …yeah, that sounds plausible. Sticking a thing under your eyelid seems like a great way to transfer infectious stuff in. Now I have more reasons to never wear contacts.

        2. Wizard

          Just always wash your hands before handling your lenses, and it’s no big deal.

        3. Wizard

          Still sounds weird. And I wore contacts for decades.

      2. Agemegos

        One time I had a concretion under my eyelid. The eyedoc flipped my eyelid inside out and cut the concretion of with the tip of a large-gauge hypodermic.

        Don’t worry, Joyce. It’s okay. Just hold still a moment….

        1. Despite Rage

          Oh HELL no.

          All the hells, all the levels, all the way down. Baator, Hades, Tarterus, Gehenna. All of them, all the way down.

  17. Beau Kirin Maysey

    one of my fav things to learn about in law school has been how there’s a standard for medical malpractice cases because of some of the strange, unique ways rural doctors and specialists would / would have to deal with medical issues

    1. UnfrozenNeanderthal

      Rural medical stories can be a trip. Especially when you get into those really remote places

      1. Rainhat

        Even in the city… back in May, during lockdown, I was trying to find an affordable dentist in NYC that was accepting new patients. One of them was “affordable” because they haven’t kept up on new techniques to the point that another dentist said they didn’t even teach they way they do it in dental school any more. Even as a “how we used to do it” sidebar. Crazy stuff out there.

        1. Axel

          “One of them was “affordable” because they haven’t kept up on new techniques to the point that another dentist said they didn’t even teach they way they do it in dental school any more”

          I saw a gyno who told me that himself, it was weird but at least he admitted it.

          –

          Long version, I needed a hysterectomy, both for trans reasons and unhealthy uterus reasons. I was referred to him because he was trans friendly, and he gave me my diagnosis, but said he only did fully open surgery whereas mine could/should be done laprascopically (through small holes in the stomach, using long tools and cameras). His procedure was only taught as a specialty now, and laprascopy wasn’t being taught yet when he was in school)

          However, unlike the dentists in question, he just did procedures that needed his more invasive and old fashioned version, rather than just performing it anyway. He referred me to another gyno, the local well-known trans-friendly gyno that pretty much everyone else gets referred to as well.

          (I think my referring doctor was unsure if a laprascopic hysto could solve my prolapse, because his office usually refers to the second gyno)

          Also, if you notice your cervix seems to be really really low, and your IUD strings, should you have one, are sometimes poking out of you, see a doctor.

    2. Khyrin

      Reminds me of a Tumblr post about Tracy, California.

      A Tumblrite got their orthodontics in a town that they considered weird for various reasons. Their first visit to a new dentist had the dentist ask, word for word, ‘uh can I ask you a question….what the hell is that?”

      TL;DR her small-town dentist/orthodontist uses a relatively rare ‘style’ of permanent bottom retainer.

      link to the full post in my website link.

      1. Geneseepaw

        I have never thought of Tracy as being parochial. Now Manteca, that I’ll concede, Is parochial, and really small town, but growing.

  18. Mikey

    This is kind of sweet, though. Becky doesn’t tell Joyce she’s being stupid. Instead, she takes Joyce’s fears seriously and gives a stern warning to the optician, to show that she cares.

    Like a parent who pretends to beat up the monsters under a child’s bed, instead of just telling the kid “You’re imagining it.”

    1. Kim

      I love this take! Didn’t think about that

    2. Blindness

      she might actually not realize that it’s bull plop…she’s more reasonable regarding normalcy, but is still naïve.

    3. MrSmith

      Well no, she shouldn’t be taking those fears seriously because all its doing is reinforcing Joyces ideas and Joyce isn’t a child that Becky has to ‘protect’

    4. Reaver

      Infatizing Joyce is not exactly a wise idea and she doesnt need to be protected from an eye doctor…

      1. Clif

        Neither does she need to be protected from Becky.

        1. MrSmith

          Being that Becky tried to stop her getting an eye test and has inserted herself into Joyce’s relationships and is trying to sabotage Joyce’s friendship with Dorothy then maybe she does need to be protected from Becky

        2. Reaver

          That I disagree with since Beckys actively participating in causing Joyce long term harm

  19. Angel

    Fun story. I have a condition called retinal hemorrhaging, where my retinas are slowly leaking blood into my eyes. The treatment for this actually IS having needles full of medicine jabbed into my eyeballs. I didn’t even know that was a thing before I got diagnosed, so there’s a fun bit of knowledge for everyone to enjoy!

    On the bright side, I no longer fear god nor man. Only the failures lurking within my own body.

    1. crow

      Does it hurt

      1. Angel

        The shot itself doesn’t hurt that much, because they inject a numbing agent into the lower eyelid before the big needle comes out. Mostly it’s just the existential terror of knowing that you’re having a big needle jabbed into your eyeball and oh god what if you have to sneeze right now. The real pain comes after the numbing shot wears off, because you just had a needle in your eyeball. They’re really sore and sensitive to light for about 24 hours afterwards.

        Additional fun fact: If you sneeze or cough too hard in the first couple days after it, you can reopen the injection wound and your entire sclera will fill with blood! It doesn’t hurt but boy does it look freaky and scare all your coworkers.

        1. ischemgeek

          I have a needle phobia and with no exaggeration I can say that is quite literally the stuff of my nightmares.

        2. Despite Rage

          I would have to be unconscious or I’d come up swinging before they even got close. I would straight up “Kool-aid man through a wall” before they got a chance.

    2. Regalli

      Reasonable! Few things are more terrifying than the bizarre and fragile nature of our physical forms.

    3. Z

      Hey, me too. Diabetes isn’t all fun kids. I came here specifically to see if anyone else had actually had this not wonderful experience to “brag” about.

      1. Angel

        This is the worst club to be in.

    4. JBento

      I apparently have something called “recurring epithelial detachment”, which is when the outer layer of skin protecting your eye decides to see other people and tries to leave. The treatment appears to be to have the whole thing literally scrubbed out and see if the next one stays put. So far, I’ve had my left eye scrubbed twice and the right one scrubbed once. In mid-February, I’m going to get evaluated to see if that was enough or I need to get it removed with a laser*. The first couple of days after the scrubbing are spent in a dark room with your eyes closed, because any light is too much light. The first day you can’t actually open them and they’ll be leaking water**. Now I have to use therapeutic contact lenses and whenever they get changed my brain spends the next couple of hours screaminga t me “There’s something in your eye get it out get it out get it out getitoutgetitoutgetitouGETITOUT NOOOOOWWWWW.

      I have been dealing with this snce late August, at which point the doctor thought it was “just” a corneal ulcer. Thanks, 2020, and fuck you.

      *”laser eye surgery” is, to my disappointment, NOT a procedure to replace your eyes with bionic ones that shoot lasers 8(

      ** “crying” would imply actual tears. What you get is streams. Seriously, if someone had tatooed a barrel on my cheek, they could have taken a photo of it and used as a postcard of Niagara Falls.

  20. Regalli

    … Okay I have a debilitating anxiety disorder and my biggest fear with any given new specialist is just ‘they’re too busy shaming me over something they admit is unrelated to address my actual symptoms.’ (Sadly, that one comes from experience.) Joyce… hoo boy, you need a good therapist and/or workbook.

    1. Regalli

      That said: the fourth panel on? Spot-on depiction of the fear of the unknown and how it’s frequently far, far out of proportion to the actual outcome of what you’re dreading. The worst case scenario does exist, sure, but probably not likely for, say, a routine appointment when the rest of your family all wear glasses.

      1. Bruceski

        My mother once tried to help with my anxiety by telling me to visualize the worst that could happen. That’s when the screaming started.

        1. Bruceski

          To her credit, she realized her mistake the moment she said it.

        2. Needfuldoer

          I’m not sure if that’s better or worse than having your fears minimized with a dismissive “oh, it’s not THAT bad. Just stop whining and get over it!”

        3. Regalli

          I actually do do some worst case scenario-ing with my therapist, but the crucial point of that is ‘okay, then what happens, and what do you do next?’

          Also it’s never medical-focused since there’s not much to be done with ‘death’ beyond how likely it is to actually happen.

  21. Undrave

    I love that Willis managed to sneak a reference to Paddles in his big exposé on who was who in Earthrise!

  22. LiterallyJustSomeGuy

    Fun fact: When I finally went for glasses, I went after work, and I had trouble with the prescription tests because my eyes were tired. So my vision clarity kept fluctuating for reasons other than what lenses were in front of my face. Good times, good times.

    Joyce gave the excuse of being “just tired” before, so I wonder if she’s in for the same fun times

  23. Moon

    the way you describe La Porte 20,000 sounds like a lot

  24. Reltzik

    … big city?

    …. BIG CITY?

    Bloomington’s less than 100k, less than 4 times La Porte. I mean, yeah, it’s no Lost Springs, Wyoming, sure, but Bloomington’s less than …. okay, it’s higher than 400th in population in the entire country… looks like it’s somewhere around 380th…. IT’S NOT A BIG CITY DAMMIT JOYCE!

    1. drs

      85,000 by last Census estimate. Though I’ve never been sure if that includes the ~35,000 students or not.

      I did meet undergrads who felt it was Big City but they were from much smaller towns, smaller than my high school. 20,000 feels like it’s kind of in the same league, it’s at worst 1/6th the size…

      …though between all the professors and students and international connections, Bloomington probably feels more cosmopolitan than you’d expect for its size. The variety of ethnic restaurants was surprisingly broad, including Ethiopian (closed later) and *two* Tibetan places (the Dalai Lama has some connection.) Bloomington is somewhat more diverse than La Porte, with more blacks and way more Asians, though La Porte has more Hispanics.

    2. drs

      So, it’s not really Big, but it’s a cosmopolitan college town, with a fairly dense core, so probably feels like big city to these two and they’re comparatively not wrong.

    3. Blindness

      …it’s barely under 4x the size, but considering that it’s also a major city in the state and over 200 miles from her hometown- it seems like it’s a big city. And it is, 80,000 people isn’t exactly small!

      1. Needfuldoer

        That’s still half the population of Providence, Rhode Island (which is three square miles smaller).

  25. Sirksome

    I’m still a little confused by the Becky bashing here. Yes she’s being pretty annoying with the forced rivalry gimmick but the thing is neither of the people involved seem very bothered by it. In fact Joyce seems slightly amused which is calming her a bit during this stressful experience for her.

    1. Rainhat

      There’s plenty of examples of people laying out why it bothered them, to look back at, if you’re confused.

    2. Yumi

      Imagine she’s Walky

    3. Reaver

      Who cares if Beckyd constant hostility towards Dorty calms JOYCE down?? I’m fed up with it bc thats all we’ve gotten for weeeeeks.

    4. Schpoonman

      Before the timeskip Becky came across as jealous but still generally good-natured in her needling of Dorothy. There were several instances where they confided in each other seriously, trying to look out for what was best for Joyce.

      Since the time skip it has appeared much less friendly, like Becky has real beef with Dorothy. Not only are Becky’s fears that Dorothy will replace her not grounded in reality, her actions are slowly becoming harmful to Joyce.

      1. MrSmith

        Well no…it was pretty noticeable before the timeskip but there was the whole coming out, kidnapping, fundie upbringing-homeless angle thing going on so posters cut her some slack

        (Probably what Dorothy is doing)

      2. Sirksome

        See this is the part I don’t get. To me it reads like Becky is purposefully being over the top because she’s trying to make it obvious she’s joking. Like that’s the bit. To me if she actually hated Dorothy as much as it seems she wouldn’t be so cartoonishly blatant about it. She’s even been very sincere and honest with Dorothy in revealing she’s not actually interested in politics. That tells me she does see Dorothy as a real friend.

        1. MrSmith

          Or maybe shes over the top so she can insult Dorothy to her face and if shes called out on it she can say something like she wasn’t serious and can’t you take a joke

        2. Sirksome

          If that’s what’s happening that IS really shitty but I’ve never been able to read whether Becky’s being serious or not unlike Walky where it’s a lot easier to tell (at least for this recent storyline) that he’s being immature. Since almost everything she says to Dorothy is steeped in this forced “We’re rivals” context how can anyone tell what’s genuine? It’s kind of maddening like I’m missing the joke by trying to find it. It’s very tiresome so I can at least understand some of the frustration.

    5. drs

      Stupid butt face, we’re not paying attention to you.

      1. Sirksome

        What? Sincerely hope you’re not insulting me here.

        1. drs

          Come on, Sicky, I used what are literally Becky’s last two insults to Dorothy apart from “I’M the best friend”. (And now I’ve used the last three.) No big deal, right? Or does it feel different when you’re receiving rather than watching?

        2. Sirksome

          This is literally why I was asking in the first place. Whatever this joke or blatant insulting to Dorothy thing with Becky is I don’t get it. But also it’s really frustrating thinking this hard on it. Like I’m not getting something obvious to everyone else. So I’m just gonna tap out and go back to my niche of unjustifiably hating Walky. At least he’s simple.

        3. drs

          Becky has been cruel and ungrateful to Dorothy for nearly the entire time they’ve known each other, including insulting Dorothy over a meal that Dorothy was paying for. Dorothy has never shown amusement, just confusion, if not hurt. I believe she’s asked Becky to stop, though I don’t have a link handy. More recently she pretty much explicitly said that she was responding to Becky with grace. The mystery is why Dorothy is being so saintly — I’d guess she thinks she’s letting the “homeless orphan” work out her stress. But as far as I can tell Becky is simply being a jealous bongo and Dorothy would be happier if Becky stopped.

          That’s why people are ‘bashing’ Becky. Because this isn’t a playful game between close friends, it’s Becky bullying someone who’s been turning the other cheek, despite that someone doing her favors.

        4. MrSmith

          Absolutely correct

        5. Jhon

          ‘Responding with grace’. Dorothy is using Becky as an opportunity to practice patience. That’s very Buddhist of her.

        6. King Daniel

          If they were actually insulting you as much as it seems, they wouldn’t be so cartoonishly blatant about it. 😛

        7. Reaver

          Haha! Daniel I hate you and I want you to leave 😀

        8. Clif

          You’re making his point.

        9. Reaver

          That would be the joke, thank you for explaining it Cliff

    6. MrSmith

      Shes literally tried to stop Joyce from getting an eye exam just because Dorothy suggested it, doesn’t that suggest theres something a little unhealthy going on?

      1. thejeff

        What I find amusing about this is that back at the start of this plot there was a whole chorus of how horrible it was that Walky wouldn’t drop the glasses thing when Joyce wanted him to and then how horrible Dorothy was for treating Joyce as a child for making the appointment for her and basically dragging her to it.
        Now we flip around and trash Becky for not being on board with pushing Joyce to do something she doesn’t want to do.

        The commentariat is a fickle god.

        1. Sirksome

          I guess it’s just the nature of the comic at this point. It’s more about what you believe than who is right in any situation anyway. These are fictional characters so no one is really getting hurt.

        2. Jhon

          Being hurtful to fictional characters is good practice for the real thing!

        3. MrSmith

          To be fair I had reservations about Becky over her treatment of Joyce when she turned up the second time but it was the initial interactions with Dorothy that confirmed it for me that Becky is an unlikeable person

          Yes she nukes closets from space and all that but as a person shes obnoxious, rude and would drop Dina without a second thought if Joyce asked her to

        4. drs

          I wouldn’t say that last bit.

        5. MrSmith

          You think Becky wouldn’t dump Dina if Joyce announced she was gay and hot for Becky?

        6. thejeff

          I don’t.

          I do think she’d be all torn and conflicted – which is really to be expected, but it certainly wouldn’t be without a second thought.

    7. Keulen

      For me it’s that the joke rivalry, which I’m no longer convinced is actually a joke and which really wasn’t all that funny to begin with, has been going on in-comic for several months now. And Becky can’t seem to drop it for even a few minutes whenever Dorothy and/or Joyce are near her, even when Dorothy clearly has Joyce’s best interests at heart like in this arc where she wanted Joyce to get her eyes checked, and Becky tried to convince Joyce not to get them checked just to further this stupid rivalry thing. I’m amazed that Dorothy has managed to go so many months with Becky keeping up this annoying “joke” about them being rivals without telling her to cut it out already.

      1. Sirksome

        But apparenty it’s not a joke. Right? I went back and read some of Becky’s strips for this arc and under that context she becomes as big an asshole as Mike was.

        1. Queezle

          To me Becky’s behaviour kind of feels like Schrödinger’s Douchebag.
          I hope that is not what it is. But there are some similarities like being over the top and blatant about it.

        2. Sirksome

          At this point it’s either all a joke or none of it is. And if Becky’s not joking why isn’t anyone calling her out on it? She’s insulted Dorothy in front of Joyce multiple times. Joyce is even smiling in the same panel Becky took another small shot at Dorothy? So I thought Joyce was in on the bit.

          This is just like earlier in the story arc where Becky was making all the religious jokes. Does she know Joyce is leaning atheist now and was cruelly taunting her about it? We never got an answer. Either this is all just how Becky jokes around or she’s actually a pretty terrible person.

        3. thejeff

          Given that Becky teases Joyce all the time and apparently has throughout their entire childhood friendship, I think it’s pretty clear it’s just how Becky jokes around.
          That doesn’t mean it’s cool. It may well be a thing she needs to grow out of, to learn how to tell when the target is okay with it and when she’s not, but that’s different from it being malicious.

        4. MrSmith

          Theres joking around and then there’s putting someone down and trying to cut someone out

          I think that a lot of people can’t handle the idea that a victim (Becky) can also be a mean bully

          Perhaps the apple didn’t fall that far from the tree after all…

        5. Reaver

          I do think we’re forgetting her ideas of Jokes and teasing come from Ross… who’s a big ol asshole..

  26. AY

    My hometown has something like… 1,100 people in it, according to the Google. I’m not great at numbers, but 20,000 feels like a lot lol

    1. Bruceski

      Mine wasn’t that small, we were about 6000 but shared infrastructure with another “town” (together we are officially a Census-Defined Area) of 12000 so it’s about La Porte size with a ten-mile gap between the useful parts. My side of that gap, it was a big deal when we got a traffic light. I hear we’ve got a second one now.

  27. Dracke

    Im sick of beckys gimmick with Dorothy…and the Joyce gimmick….has her character run her course after her storylines ended?
    Nothing so far after the new saga started has made me think otherwise

  28. BBCC

    Look, Joyce, if at any point they break out needles for your EYES, whatever you have has gotta be way worse than that.

    1. BBCC

      Dammit! Every day I forget to do grav roulette in my first comment! Bah.

      1. BBCC

        This is not Sal, but I will accept this worthy gravitar today.

        1. Regalli

          You have been Chosen.

          I love my Amewut grav too much to do roulette, but man do the new ones put forth a tempting argument for at least trying it out on a secondary email or something.

        2. BBCC

          I will accept the grumpy lizard for now but I shall soon begin my quest for Sal anew.

  29. Skater Girl

    I think it’s funny Joyce thinks 20,000 is a small town. The town I grew up in was less than 5,000.

    1. Rainhat

      To be fair, even a big place can be made small if you’re in an insular group. I know tons of “small town” people in NYC, they just cut their small town out of the city.

    2. brionl

      My father’s high school graduation class was 8 people(? I think, single digits anyway). So, pretty darn small town.

    3. Bruceski

      I used to think my town (6000 + a 12000 neighbor that shared a school system) was about as small as it got, then at college I met a farmgirl from the middle of nowhere in Washington where it was pretty much just her family and the livestock.

      Everything’s relative.

    4. ischemgeek

      The one I grew up in was smaller than my high school.

      My high school had a total student body of <300

    5. KJ

      yea, i’ve known a lot of people that will claim even bloomington is a small town….and i just laugh and laugh….try a population of ~400

      1. drs

        Bloomington is 3% the size of where I grew up, or less if you count the whole metro area.

        400 isn’t a small town, it’s a village. 🙂

  30. Keulen

    I’m really wondering where Joyce got the idea that eye doctors stick needles in your eyes when you first get your eyes checked.

    1. Needfuldoer

      The closest they get is probably the old contact gauge they used to measure pressure as a glaucoma check, and they have the no-contact air puff machine to do that now.

      “I don’t want no doctor to stick no needle in me!”
      – Frank Zappa – Me -Joyce Brown

  31. Bobcat

    And now we finally know what Melody from Josie & the Pussycats do in her spare time.

    1. Clif

      She could be an optometrist. She could be a receptionist. She could be an assistant. Giving you Melody, we still don’t know her role yet.

  32. Autogatos

    Eye needle checkups are all the rage in the big cities these days.

    1. Clif

      Outside the big cities there aren’t enough eye needles to make checking up on them worthwhile.

  33. Zaxares

    Don’t worry, Joyce, they don’t use needles. They only bring out the scalpels and cut your eye open when they have to do more major procedures like cataract removals. 😉

  34. Valerie

    Looking forward to when Dorothy starts her clap-back with a simple “That’s not my name, don’t call me that,” and makes “Becks” face her behavior.

    1. JBento

      I have a VAGUE idea that she already did the “that’s not my name” thing. It has, as expected, only encouraged Becky to continue the course.

  35. Showler

    It’s no wonder she needs glasses when her eyes keep doing that.

  36. FacelessDeviant

    Fun story: When I was young I had strabismus, one of my eye was out of alignment. It can be fixed with corrective surgery, which I had when I was 7 years old.

    A few days before the surgery, me and my friends were “discussing” how the surgery worked. We came to agreement that rusty nails were involved and other horrors.

    Then I remembered that I was the one that was gonna have the surgery and became very upset at the thought of having rusty nails in my eye 😛

  37. Rabisch

    I love Joyce’s “pure terror eyes” in panel 3♡.

  38. foducool

    eye needles?
    *gets deadspace flashbacks*

  39. BenRG

    I’m just wondering how serious Becky is in her enabling Joyce’s neuroses. Does she have a similar (likely childhood conditioning-instigated) fear of medical professionals or is she’s just pushing too hard to compete with Dorothy?

    1. MrSmith

      Yeah I’m going to go with competing with Dorothy on this one

  40. Edwin I Callahan

    My wife and I are in the process of throwing on some clothes so we can hit our local Starbucks. IV coffee – a dream come true.

  41. Common sense

    Becky is less and less likeable with every strip. her petty fighting gets sooo old that i find her alot more annoying than any antics that Walky makes.

    1. John

      Same.

    2. MrSmith

      Agreed

    3. drs

      Walky is generally just having fun. Or clinging to his sister figure. Or ragging Joyce, but that’s mutual. Or ragging Joyce about glasses, but that’s actuallysomewhat helpful.

      1. Common sense

        Oh dont get me wrong I like walkys antics.
        its just that some here dont for some reason, so i wanted to give them an example of a worse character.

  42. Keith

    huh, finished high school…in a town of 1200. Class of 30. Had a nice large town nearby (for us near by was 30miles) uh, we no have people that. Special. Mind there were some jehova’s but they were like almost a half county away.

  43. Bagge

    Becky keeping her ladies eyes needlefree!

  44. ziggy78eog

    If I were to hazard a guess, I would say Joyce had her eyes tested just once, either in kindergarten, or first grade. She sat in the Optometrist’s chair, and told the doctor which way the arrows were pointing. Knowing her mother’s world view, she never stepped foot in that place, ever again.

  45. Needfuldoer

    I bet Becky’s going to try and feed Joyce the characters on the eye chart, that way she can “prove” Joyce’s assertion that everything’s fine. Another point for Team Becky in her unrequited rivalry contest!

    At least until the optometrist catches on.

  46. Wakeangel2001

    there are SOME medical procedures that involve poking or cutting directly into the eyeball, but to my knowledge none of them are diagnostic.

  47. KJ

    The fact that the characters are grating right now just makes the comic realistic. I remember what my friends and I were like in college lmao…it uh. Was pretty on par with the cast of DoA. And we went to IU. If anything, I find this a little too real

    1. Regalli

      Yeah, I get finding this particular shitty teen-ness grating/exhausting, but it feels true to life, and I trust there’s going to be payoff.

      1. drs

        Being realistically annoying tends to, well, annoy, people.

        Early Buffy: 20-something actors pretending to be preternaturally witty teens. Yay!

        Late Buffy: actual teen actress pretending to be a realistic teen (Dawn). Nay.

  48. ValdVin

    Why do I get the feeling that Joyce watched A Clockwork Orange at an impressionable age?

  49. Icalasari

    New Joyce Face!

    New joyce face

  50. sammyred8

    … this “small town” has a larger population than the city I live in…
    (we have a Starbucks, three Costas, and a Caffè Nero!)

  51. Rabisch

    I love Joyce’s “pure terror eyes” in panel 4♡.

  52. plasticwrap

    Www Starbucks why TF are there so many?

    1. plasticwrap

      *ewww ckufing goddam autocorrect

  53. DarkoNeko

    20 people is already several times more of mine

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