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Alone
Posted on May 29, 2012 by David M Willis
We're under $5k from our next stretch goal for the Kickstarter, $30k to print Roomies! Book 2! (If you only know of Dumbing of Age and not my other webcomics, Roomies! was a webcomic I drew from 1997-1999. It's like this webcomic, but with more aliens.)

124 thoughts on “Alone”

  1. Platypus

    See, Dorothy, he does have a plan.

    1. Yotomoe

      along with his Mountain Dew plan and wanting to be a kick-ass bachelor with an awesome house, water slide, ball pit, freedom from wearing pants and buying K-mart brand of soap, Walky’s got his whole life planned out

      1. StClair

        Near as I can figure, the plan stops somewhere around 12. The remaining pages are just marked “repeat.”

  2. Jen Aside

    –which will eat him, so then the VELOCIRAPTOR will be alone!

    [and actually be the size of a chicken if we’re being accurate]

    1. Platypus

      A Utah Raptor on the other hand (if I’m not mistaken).

    2. AliaPie

      I think velociraptor was bigger than a chicken, but not as big as depicted in Jurassic Park (they were more like Deinonychus). Compsognathus was around the size of a chicken though.

      1. HiEv

        Yeah, velociraptors were about the size of a large trumpeter swan, if you’re looking for a modern animal to compare them to.

        1. OBrien

          While Utahraptors were oft-overlooked horrifying death-beasts.

        2. thomas0comer

          But notably slower and less maneuverable than a velociraptor. IIRC they also didn’t hunt in packs.

  3. Yotomoe

    you’ll probably die cold and alone inside a clone velociraptor mouth walky…

    1. Tan

      You’re never alone inside a clone velociraptor mouth.

      1. Furie

        Anyone know where I can get Christmas cards with that on?

      2. Blob Marley

        And it’s probably not cold, either.

    2. Aizat

      Or you could eat the clone velociraptor and put the skin on your wall.

    3. Wonder Wig

      and I thought cloned velociraptors smelled bad on the inside

    4. RandomPerson12

      Velociraptors were chicken sized. How would Walky fit?

  4. Michael

    I’ve been waiting for this story to comeback.

  5. Khantalas

    So you should probably be better friends with Dina, Walky.

    1. Doctor_Who

      Agreed. She’d totally be up for this.

      1. CommentSpawn

        Dina/Walky shipping initiated.

        1. Volkai

          Dina/Walky shipping ever stopped?

    2. Yotomoe

      or Queen Dopplepopolis

    3. TacosForever

      I don’t think they’ve even spoken yet. He may never know that she worships his dino doodling skills. And that they could raise a beautiful velociraptor clone together.

    4. artemi71

      If I recall, Dina was the only one that he did NOT hit on at the beach trip.

      1. Khantalas

        Also Sal. And Joyce. The jury’s still out on whether what he did with Billie was hitting on her or friendly teasing.

  6. Twisted Two-face

    A cloned Velociraptor that he can totes sex up and eat McNuggets with.

    but mostly sex up.

    1. Plasma Mongoose

      Unless he plans on turning velociraptors into McNuggets…

      1. SpaceInvader42

        They probably would taste like chicken, and not just because ‘everything tastes like chicken’.

        1. HiEv

          Considering that velociraptors came first, it’s probably more accurate to say that everything tastes like velociraptor.

        2. TheBenenator

          That’s just because the machines didn’t know what to make chicken taste like.

  7. Sensedog

    Very nice. Walky understands that while people need people, they also need space at times.

    And of course the situation with Joyce and Ethan will lead to awkwardness. Probably. Or not. Does anyone else believe that Mike will be there to watch the show?

    1. Jacob

      He won’t be there to watch the show. He’ll be there to DIRECT it.

      1. Vabolo

        You don’t need to direct a trainwreck.

        1. thomas0comer

          But they often can use a little choreography assistance when they get to the chorus line part.

  8. General Tekno

    I think Walky has my priorities.

    Except in my case they’re CYBORG cloned velociraptors.

    1. lord of dance

      id have to clone something bigger so i could ride it

      1. Yotomoe

        your mom had to clone something bigger so she could ride it. It was mike.

        1. Leorale

          hee hee hee

      2. Blob Marley

        But a cyborg velociraptor would have the strength of five gorillas!

    2. Yotomoe

      b-b-but what if they start learning!!?

      1. Jackson

        That’s why cyborg velociraptors. Just insert a line of “learning = FALSE;” into their programming code, and you’re golden!

      2. General Tekno

        Then it’s good. The whole point of creating cyborg velociraptors is to engineer a new master race.

    3. Aizat

      Velociraptors? Are you flipping insane? Narwhals are way better.

  9. Cholma

    Well, Joyce, I for one am proud to be a freak then! 🙂

    1. sun tzu

      Me too.
      Loners unite!
      …Unite far, far away from each other!

  10. Yotomoe

    Ethan, you so macabre. noone mentioned Dyin’

    1. Aizat

      Hey, sometimes we have to think our own mortality.

      1. Yotomoe

        not me. I’m going to find the water fountain of youth and drink from it forever.

        1. Aizat

          You do know that you have to sacrifice someone for it to work, right?

        2. Yotomoe

          I’ll sacrifice myself by drowning myself in it.

        3. Aizat

          It doesn’t work that way. If you want the water, you must sacrifice a life and you can’t sacrifice yourself to extend your life.

        4. Yotomoe

          c-can it be a squirrel? or a bunch of squirrels? what’s the squirrel to human life ratio?

        5. Ancestral Hamster

          Hey! No rodent sacrifice!

        6. iSaidCandleja-

          It has to be a TON of squirrels. We’ve established the proposal is sound in principle, now we’re just haggling over price.

        7. Aizat

          Well, it needs A life so any living thing would do.

        8. g127

          Can I just buy some chicken at grocery store, or do I have to kill the thing myself?

        9. Aizat

          You have to sacrifice the chicken’s life by letting it drink the water because without the tribute, the water could kill you.

        10. begbert2

          Actually if I had a canary drink some water and it died, I would take that as an indication that I *shouldn’t* drink it.

        11. Aizat

          For those who came in late, I was talking about the procedures on how to use the fountain of youth.

  11. Aizat

    I feel Ethan’s pain about dying alone and unloved.

  12. Heavensrun

    NO, Ethan. BAD. That’s a BAD ETHAN.

  13. John Madden

    Joyce’s ignorance shows again.

    1. Eggy

      Yes, because ignorance is the sign of a horrible human being!

      Let us destroy all the ignorant masses!!!

    2. sun tzu

      To be fair, Joyce is displaying .

      1. sun tzu

        Displaying a sadly common belief

        1. Keulan

          This is exactly what I thought when I saw the third panel.

        2. Shade

          Well Aristotle said we might be gods.

          So… does that mean I don’t believe in myself?

  14. Raen

    Well, I have a new ship.

    By the time I’m old, I’ll be a drug dealer.

  15. Kernanator

    By the time I’m old, I’ll be dead.

    My death will be loud, horrific, and preceded by the words, “Of course I know what I’m doing!”

    1. Yotomoe

      My last words will be “I’m sure it’s friendly!”

    2. KresyAntics

      My last words will be “It was great while it lasted”

    3. David

      I’m pretty sure you’re required by Dino Law to say “Clever girl.”

      1. Crumplepunch

        If I ever make a superhero, his real name is going to be Dino Law.

    4. Aizat

      If I wanted to die, I wanted to die fighting or die peacefully with my loved ones while watching something good from my childhood.

      1. Historyman68

        What about fighting with your loved ones?

    5. Plasma Mongoose

      My last words will be “Looks like there won’t be an open casket at my funeral!”

    6. Leorale

      I want to say “Now why did I do that?” like General William Erskine, after he jumped from a window in Lisbon, Portugal in 1813. I won’t be able to do it in 1813 though.

    7. Izzy

      My last words will be “Son. Listen to me. Before I die I have to tell you…”

  16. MR C

    walky has got his future on lock

  17. Plasma Mongoose

    I wonder if Dina heard Walky’s plan.

    1. Aydr

      No, the only doors in the background are sliding ones.

      1. Crumplepunch

        Do you doubt that she can hide behind sliding doors?

        You cannot hope to best Dina in a door-hiding-off.

        She is simply the best there is.

        1. Raiser

          Gravatar + comment = awesome.

        2. Crumplepunch

          For some reason I keep getting that same response.

        3. Jackson

          >DINA: Ride sliding door like a mechanical bull.

          This is incredibly silly!

    2. Valdrax

      To be a loner?
      CAUSE IT WORKED.

      1. Historyman68

        Correct avatar.

  18. TacosForever

    Man, Walky is the best. He really has his priorities straight in life.

  19. BugBerry

    I support Walky in this. not to get too heavy (I’m gonna) but I believe that by being by yourself you are better able to introspect and develop your own identity. Just wanted to say how nice and refreshing it is to have a character that sees that way too. plus, I would get an Oviraptor, it would make eggs for me every morning.

  20. Ryan Balis

    Put those pajama Jeans already!

    1. coobee

      Put them where?

  21. Spammy McSpamster

    This comic was really weird.
    Ethan and Walky….talking.

    Is this a first?

    This feels like fan fiction of two people from different dimensions that should never meet.

    1. Moonshine McGee

      Yeah, Ethan and Walky meeting each other just seems eldritch.

      1. Lieutenant Dan

        “Ph’nglui mglw’nafh Eaton Shortpacked wgah’nagl fhtagn.”

        1. Spammy McSpamster

          You’d have to send me a link to the Eaton stuff.
          I tag searched shortpacked and didn’t see them interact.

    2. Charles RB

      And not just talking, Joyce prefers Ethan atm. It’s like watching a narrative collapse.

      (and soon, a social collapse when Joyce realises Ethan is gay and Jewish and goes for “GASP” again)

      1. Ryan Balis

        that’s when Walky steps in and saves the day because “it’s the world that’s wrong”

  22. g127

    I fear she will only find out about both things, after the wedding…

    1. Klondike

      I think you’re overestimating Joyce’s ability to find out about things…

      1. begbert2

        “You’re Jewish? Gasp! …Well, I can fix that.”

        “You’re gay, too?? …wait a second, I’ll go get my yellow dress.”

  23. Aizat

    Apparently Joyce had never met people who have very, very, very little faith in humanity like myself.

    1. Eggy

      Hey, I have little faith in humanity, too!

      We should hang out.

    2. MarcinMN

      So, you’re saying she hasn’t spent any time on the internet? Because she’d only have to be online for 5 seconds to find more of them than she could ever care to meet. 😉

  24. Eggy

    I think it’s awesome that there’s a comic on the internet that *actually* gives full attention to what *real people* are like!

    Too many comics have a single panel that panders to the obvious fan-base and in no significant way examine the impacts while the readers put a bunch of words in the author’s and characters’ mouths.

  25. AuricTech

    Does Randall Munroe know about Walky’s plan?

  26. Thomas Wrobel

    Will he call it ¨Old Lace¨ ?

    1. Izzy

      you are my new best friend. Deal with it.

      1. Usayasha

        I also understand this reference.

        1. Izzy

          You are also my new best friend. Deal with it

  27. fellixe

    Is that stubble on Ethan’s chin? (He-he)

  28. bintswayd

    Where exactly on campus are they right now?

    1. David

      They’re standing in front of the center desk inside Read Hall.

  29. Dondo

    Y’know what I’d like to see? Hooper on karaoke night, singing “Killing Loneliness.”

  30. Otaku Sandwich

    Whos gonna break it to Joyce that Ethan is gay? Anyone? Hm?

    1. Plasma Mongoose

      Unless Mike beats him to it, Ethan should be the one to tell her… after sleeping with her of cause.

      Gotta love drama!

  31. Ray

    I like being alone. …and I am a freak, yes.

  32. thomas0comer

    RA? Joyce is being racist against introverts again!

    1. Kintrex

      Hey, I’m an introvert and I don’t like being alone. She’s being racist towards loners.

  33. Slagathor

    If Walky will be living with a cloned velociraptor by the time he dies, will all of us be living with a cloned velociraptor as well?

    1. Aydr

      Dying with one, more appropriately.

      1. Thomas Wrobel

        nah, we will keep them at bay with our Lightsabers.
        I hear from a reliable source we will have them in 3-5 years

  34. davidbreslin101

    Walky reveals that he’s the XKCD guy’s nemesis.

  35. Kinetic

    Woh, seeing Ethan and Walky next to each other like that is weird…

  36. JA

    Joyce is sure in for a surprise…

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