353

Gross things
Posted on July 20, 2016 by David M Willis

353 thoughts on “Gross things”

  1. Ana Chronistic

    “WHAT THE FUCKING FUCK?!”

    [/Step Brothers (2008)]

    1. Orion Fury

      How the fuck did you fucking fuckers even fuck? Fuck!

      1. pjeseb

        Well, when two mentally scarred young ladies hate each other very much…

        1. Orion Fury

          Storytime!

        2. Anorak

          Slipshine storytime

        3. Slartibeast Button, BIA

          Monty Python did it first. Content Warning for hippo bunny squashing.

        4. Znayx

          Why can’t I give thumbs up? Whyyyyyyyyy?

      2. JustCheetoDust

        That certainly illustrates the diversity of the word.

        1. Reltzik

          It can be pretty much every word in a sentence: Fuck the fucking fuckers.

        2. thejeff

          All parts of speech.
          Fuck it! The fucking fucker’s fucked.

        3. Deanatay

          Except, apparently, the poor, poor articles. No fucks for them.

        4. Oak

          Ahem….
          “Fuck fucking fuckers.”
          The entire sentence is fucked.

        5. JustCheetoDust

          I guess we could pad that with another “fuck” used as an interjection.

          I actually thought Orion Fury was quoting Boondock Saints, because my original reply was the response from Norman Reedus. Why I remember anything from that movie outside of a meme, I don’t know.

          P.S. I’m pretty sure someone shot a cat in that movie.

        6. Orion Fury

          I know, that poor fucking cat.

        7. Yet_One_More_Idiot

          And this is how many fucks I have to give for the poor articles. *opens empty hands* 😛

        8. David

          I think the original Army version was “Fuck! Fuckin’ fucker’s fuckin’ fucked, fuck!”

        9. Ana Chronistic

          need to go for the “Buffalo buffalo buffalo buffalo buffalo buffalo buffalo” effect

        10. Orion Fury

          This guy gets it.

    2. Paul1963

      “Whiskey Tango Foxing Foxtrot” is the cleaned-up version I sometimes use.

  2. AnvilPro

    This day is a rollercoaster for Sal

    1. miados

      sometimes you just need to sit back and watch the roller coaster instead of ride. then you can ask the people about the ride. or in this case ask about the…… no i think ride still works.

    2. TheAnonymousGuy

      wait, I can still keep everything a secret if I just -ahh, fuck it!

    3. arbyfryer

      Man, roller-coasters are great. Sometimes you just wanna scream your head off and that’s the only place where no-one looks at you weird.

      1. miados

        haunted house things during halloween get lots of screams

  3. (((Mkvenner)))

    Billie sal’s not- Oh forget it.

    1. Dara

      It’s okay. None of us are fucking Amazi-Girl either.

      1. Wheelpath

        Not anymore at least. Stupid broken ship

        1. Anorak

          As dumb as this idea sounds, Joe could go on the rebound.

        2. qlx

          I dunno if Joe is Danny’s type 😛

        3. Spencer

          I sank with the S.S. Danber.

          forreal tho, they’re definitely permanently done as a romance, but I’m pretty sure once Amber starts to make some progress they’ll be friends again. It seems kind of inevitable if Danny’s going to be hooking up with her best friend later on.

        4. Cerberus

          Dina?

        5. Spencer

          Ethan.

        6. Anorak

          Becky, Dina, Amber, Danny, Ethan, Jacob poly relationship

        7. Cerberus

          I think he may have been replaced in the hierarchy of friends at the moment (but also, more seriously, yes, obviously, Danny currently has the most chemistry with Ethan, but he’s also gonna be real hesitant about pursuing that any time soon given all the stuff that went down with Amber. Also, I think you’re right that Danny and Amber have a chance to be friends in the long-term even if their ship is dead in the water).

        8. Spencer

          I think it’s been mitigated since we haven’t seem them together a whole lot, but I think Amber and Ethan are meant to be really, super tight knit, and all the hurt feelings from the summer and their individual drama kind of keep them apart. I’m guessing once the Amazi-Girl drama is done that we start to see them reconnect again.

          And, yeah, since it’s basically all but confirmed that they’re getting together, I am really interested in seeing Danny and Ethan grow closer, and the way things are set up now honestly has me really excited for it. That they’re going to have an arc of them becoming closer as friends without pressuring themselves to be on their best behaviour all the time and realize that they would be good for each other, that they deserve to give themselves a shot, and that doing so isn’t going to break Amber in two (and let’s be real; once she gets her head on straight she’s going to ship those two so hard it’ll make the comments section look restrained). That especially has me really on board for it because that last bit they had together was basically a giant middle finger to all that apprehension I had over them getting together just being the two queer dudes smooshed together at the first opportunity, and instead them getting together is absolutely going to be its own thing that makes sense for them as characters and organically develops their relationship the way all the other romances in the series got.

          And even on the off chance that they are serious about never getting together, that just means we get more queer dudes introduced into the series so it’s a win either way.

        9. Cerberus

          That reminds me, I would not mind seeing Sayid making a return to the comic in a non-Slipshine sense.

        10. Spencer

          yiiiisssss I need more Sayid.

          All things in life can be improved with super hot tattooed skateboarding queer dudes.

        11. Neeks

          If or when Danny and ethan hook up, amber will become the founder of the “Indiana University RPF” category on AO3, Ethan/danny being the main ship. Somehow her compelling writing and fan art will cause the ship to take the internet by storm, a la that south park episode, and the two young men will become local celebrities. Dorothy will interview them for the school paper.

        12. (((Mkvenner)))

          Like the Derbyshire.

      2. Emily

        Thank god for small favours.

  4. Sam

    Sal: First of all, HOW DARE YOU.

    1. Woobie

      I hate being told not to say something when I wasn’t going to.

  5. Mr. Random

    You can try and deny it Sal, but we know that Amber can’t possibly patrol the entire campus on her own.

    1. Bagge

      The old “have a friend dress up as the superhero and be seen together” gambit? Pleeeeese. What’s next, the “superhero” attacking you?

      *nervous laughter*

      1. Spencer

        I mean, obviously Sal is Amazi-Girl. If she wasn’t then why was she trying to rescue Becky, hmm?

        And did you hear about the sweet midair motorcyle rescue she pulled? If that isn’t proof I don’t know what is.

        1. Orion Fury

          You think Joyce would’ve already told that to everyone in earshot by now. Forgot it was Dorothy that worked it out, or rather, that Billie didn’t.

    2. Yossarianduck

      I mean, that kind of strain would mess with Amber’s psychology in any number of ways.

      Not Sal though, she’s cool.

  6. Stephen R. Bierce

    Animal, where are you when we need you?

    1. Orion Fury

      Fucking Rock! Fucking Rock! Fucking Rock!

      1. begbert2

        Animal’s in a relationship with Dwayne Johnson? Huh. Who knew?

        1. Orion Fury

          Yeah, yeah. Was trying to channel some Animal there, figured that reference would get made too.

    2. David

      Drum battle.

  7. Cattleprod

    Has the guys’ RA shown up yet? Could he be Don Knotts?

    1. Stephen R. Bierce

      Could he be Jaleel White?

      1. lia47

        why on earth would he be either of those

        1. Doctor_Who

          I sort of miss Jaleel White…

          And the Don Knotts one was a Threes Company reference, in keeping with the alt-text.

        2. Orion Fury

          I was also figuring a Scooby Doo reference there.

        3. Deanatay

          So, the guys’ RA is… Old Man Stockton?? The Gatekeeper’s Wife??? DON KNOTTS????

        4. Orion Fury

          Johnny Bravo works too.

    2. zaratustra

      According to Ethan he’s more concerned with Star Trek marathons.

    3. LWS

      Ralph Furley (Don Knotts) was the 2nd building superintendent in “Three’s Company,” replacing the Ropers when they got spun off into their own show.

  8. Kernanator

    This is a massive clusterfuck.

    Can’t wait to see it blow up further!

    1. Reltzik

      It’s not a proper clusterfuck until the brass get involved.

      ….. does Ruth count as brass? I think she counts as brass.

  9. Helen Destroy

    Uh, Sal you may wanna rephrase before some people latch onto the idea.

    1. TOD

      I ship it.

      1. Doctor_Who

        Then it’s too late.

        1. Dara

          It was too late long, long ago.

          It has always been too late.

      2. Derek

        I ship it? https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VdtTfQJCO2Y

      3. Reltzik

        Well we know Sal is into hate-fucks. But I don’t think Amazi-girl is.

        1. Deanatay

          … *blush* O-only for justice …

    2. Helen Destroy

      Welp, I somehow completely missed that Billie made a similar point. Don’t know how but I sure feel like a dunderhead now.

  10. Detective Boomwolf

    Good to know everyone is learning new things today.

    1. Doctor_Who

      That’s what college is for! 😀

  11. buddy

    a webcomic with nothing but carla making silly jokes would also be perfect.

    1. Orion Fury

      I think that was Shortpacked. Good Webcomic.

      1. Reltzik

        I thought that also included a few other things. Like Mike being sadistic.

        1. 3-I

          As opposed to being bizarrely fixated on sleeping with Amber’s boyfriends.

  12. Emoroffle

    Sal is going to need a drink after this. The least Ruth and Billie can do is share. The drink, not the sex…

    (3hours later) “and then they grump cuddle in the afterglow.” Ok that’s one fanfiction done.

    1. Reltzik

      “Do I need a drink? I THINK I need a drink, but what I just saw makes me think I’m already drunk.”

    2. Slartibeast Button, BIA

      And then they go out to get rehydrated but are delayed by the EMTs taking a body away.

  13. Rukduk

    Sal, panels 1-3: Wait…what?
    Sal, panels 4: ARE YOU SHITING ME?!?!?

    1. Doctor_Who

      Sal yesterday: o_o
      Sal today: ಠ▃ಠ
      Sal tomorrow, probably: (ノಠ益ಠ)ノ彡┻━┻

      1. Cerberus

        Rage mode activated.

        She shouldna pressed her Amazi-girl button.

        1. Rukduk

          Carla: Uh oh, you just pushed the AmaziGirl button?
          Billie: The what button?
          Sal (accompanyied by a killer right hook): Ya shouldn’t have done that!

        2. Firedaws

          I get that reference!

      2. Koms

        Oh my God.. perfect!

      3. Orion Fury

        Day after that is Historical Jesus saying “That’s my job!”

      4. Reltzik

        Wow. We don’t often see Sal get emojinal.

  14. Proxy

    Carla’s right. The best we can do now is try to keep our stories gay.

    1. Cerberus

      Carla’s too gay for that straight shit.

    2. PapayaPunkPixie

      Aaaayyyyy

    3. Spencer

      Billie attempts to keep her story bi but finds herself repeatedly ignored.

    4. Reltzik

      And now I have “Make it gay” from The Producers stuck in my head.

  15. Teddae

    this is hilariously messy

  16. Dave

    Billie, I know for a FACT that you told Joyce.

    1. Tan

      Do you mean Danny? Because http://www.dumbingofage.com/2013/comic/book-4/01-the-only-dope-for-me-is-you/rank/ she definitely definitely super-not-even-in-vague-terms told Danny.

      1. Leorale

        I guess Billie doesn’t count Danny as anyone.

        1. insomniac

          In fairness…

        2. DarkVeghetta

          It’s funny because no one does.

      2. TheGrammarLegionary

        That was my first thought too, but also this: http://www.dumbingofage.com/2012/comic/book-2/02-choosing-my-religion/white-2/

        1. Tan

          If we’re giving super generous benefit of the doubt, she didn’t “tell” Joyce, she asked Joyce when she wasn’t sure yet. It is a grey enough area that it TECHNICALLY doesn’t make her claim a lie.

          Whereas there is absolutely no wiggle room with her definitively telling Danny.

  17. brionl

    But is it the good first season shenanigans, or the godawful seventh season shenanigans?

    1. Reltzik

      At this point I think we’re in Season 29, given how many other shows copied their shenanigan format.

      Run. Run and hide.

  18. Just Me

    Billie still thinks that? She has been spending too much time with the bottle.

    1. Undrave

      I think Billie just hasn’t been keeping up with what’s happened with Amazi-Girls or seen her in person in a while.

    2. Lurlock

      Wasn’t it fairly public knowledge when Sal saved Amazi-Girl in that car-chase with Toedad? There were a lot of witnesses. I guess Billie just doesn’t watch/read the news…

      1. Mara

        Many witnesses? There was Joyce, of course, but who else? Becky was busy saving her own neck in an overturning car, and neither Sal nor Amber are likely to tell anyone.

        1. Lurlock

          Well, the driver of the car Amber was clinging to, and presumably after a wreck like that, several other drivers behind them, not to mention all the drivers in the oncoming lane, and the police, firefighters, EMTs, and tow-truck drivers who would have shown up shortly after. Also: a man was arrested, a girl was hospitalized, shots were fired on a college campus. This sort of thing would be on the evening news at least locally if not nationally.

  19. AgentKeen

    3rd panel Sal: Oooooo… that explains… not much, really.

  20. Yumi

    Remember that time Billie tried to publish a newspaper article about Sal being Amzi-Girl

    1. Dean

      Newspapers! I remember those!

      1. Orion Fury

        I get that reference.

  21. Foxhack

    I don’t know why but Billie, in the last panel, reminds me so much of Akane from Ranma 1/2.

    1. Undrave

      If akane was into girl Ranma?

    2. Slartibeast Button, BIA

      There’s an idea. What if Amazi-Girl’s secret identity is a guy?

      1. Deanatay

        ETHAN WAS AMAZI-GIRL ALL ALONG

        1. Anorak

          I am like 50% certain it is jacob.

        2. Anorak

          Has anyone seen Amazi-girl and Jacob at the same time? No? Point Proven.

        3. Slartibeast Button, BIA

          Sarah has: http://www.dumbingofage.com/tag/amazi-girl+jacob/

        4. Dean

          Then clearly Amazi-Girl is Other Jacob.

  22. JessWitt

    This whole comic is devolving into crazy shouting / weirdness and I’m loving it. Just wait til Joyce and Becky arrive.

    1. Cerberus

      The hall will be in flames and everyone will have lost their top in the ensuing melee.

      1. Regalli

        Becky: Man, things got INTERESTING while we were gone!

        1. JustCheetoDust

          Said while running towards the topless mayhem.

        2. Reltzik

          “This is what happens when I don’t keep abreast of things.”

        3. Deanatay

          Joyce: Billie, what’s going on here?
          Billie: NOTHING’S GOING ON I’M FINE EVERYONE’S FINE EXCUSE ME
          *grabs torch, runs after Carla screaming*

      2. Orion Fury

        I was going to make a joke but I’m too tired to come up with one that won’t be offensive to anyone.

      3. Needfuldoer

        Joyce will be compelled to run around covering her eyes with one hand and giving out t-shirts from her duffel bag with the other.

        Soon everyone’s wearing a t-shirt emblazoned with an ironically fitting religious phrase on it.

        1. thejeff

          Given the apparently magical properties of Brown family clothing, the shirts basically just be appearing on people’s bodies while in the middle of the mayhem.

      4. Slartibeast Button, BIA

        Any argument where you lose your top is a bad argument.

        1. Deanatay

          Meaning your hat? That’s correct.

  23. Mandy

    After all of this drama, it’s really nice to have a strip that just makes me crack up laughing. Thanks Willis. XD

  24. Bicycle Bill

    This is getting ridiculous.  So who — besides Dina and Dorothy (and through pillow talk with Dorothy, possibly Walky) — has canon knowledge that Amber is actually Amazi-Girl?

    1. JessWitt

      Danny. Ethan. Maybe Mike?

      1. tim gueguen

        I can’t see Mike knowing without having done something with that information yet.

        1. Anorak

          maybe he just learned when walky ran into amber and dina’s room? Although i would hope amber would be a little better about keeping her secret identity

        2. Undrave

          He hasn’t done anything with the information just to annoy you. His assholishness transcends the fourth wall!

        3. vlademir1

          Why are you so sure he hasn’t?
          http://www.dumbingofage.com/2014/comic/book-4/04-the-whiteboard-dong-bandit/interrogation/
          http://www.dumbingofage.com/2014/comic/book-4/04-the-whiteboard-dong-bandit/confession/

      2. Cerberus

        I think that’s the full list. Dina, Dorothy, Danny, and Ethan are all confirmed with Mike and Walky being possibilities but not confirmed in comic. Also, Carla probably has her suspicions given that she patched Amber up for “mysterious injuries” and that daring rescue probably at least made hall news given Becky’s excitement on not being shipped off to hell and Sal’s frustration with Amazi-girl.

        1. Bicycle Bill

          Oops! Overlooked Danny; forgot that the Slipshines are considered to be canon too.

      3. Reltzik

        Also, Amber and Amazi-girl.

        Just, you know. For a complete list. They’re people too. … they’re a person to? They are one or more persons… in the same person…. dammit now I’m confused.

        1. Dana

          So are they.

        2. Spencer

          Amber probably has Dissociative Identity Disorder. Amazi-Girl is what is referred to as an ‘alter.’

          It’s still Amber, it’s just that sometimes Amber isn’t herself.

    2. Anorak

      danny

    3. Anorak

      becky via pillow talk with dina?

    4. sun tzu

      Danny.
      Blaine might suspect, considering what happened, but we haven’t seen him since he got beat up.

  25. Spencer

    Danny, Ethan, Dina and Dorothy know.

    1. Spencer

      That was meant to be a response to Bicycle Bill.

  26. zombieundergrnd

    Wait, Sal isn’t fucking Amber?
    Then who is fucking Amber? Because Danny isn’t. And Ethan isn’t. Pretty sure Mike is just fucking a tube sock.
    Amber needs to hate fuck somebody. Who better than Sal.

    1. Anorak

      Since you specified hate fuck, i was going through a list in my head of people amber hates, and ended up thinking NONE OF THE ABOVE. There are alot of bad options on that list.

      1. Spencer

        I don’t think Danny knows how to hatefuck, but he might be up for trying to passiveaggressivefuck.

        1. Bagge

          That sounds like the worst thing ever.

        2. Spencer

          All the dirty talk is replaced with subtly condescending remarks and repeated insistence that, no, really, it’s fine.

        3. Orion Fury

          So that’s what I’ve been doing wrong.

        4. Reltzik

          “Whine dirty to me.”

    2. Cerberus

      Well, if you’re going with the “fuck over” interpretation of that term, then definitely the Amazi-girl alter by a landslide (minus of course the lingering ghost of Blaine).

    3. Chief_of_Staves

      Mike wouldn’t fuck a tube sock, unless you left a nickel in it.

      1. Reltzik

        I’m sure that Mike is more than capable of filling socks with nickels on his own.

        And using them to club squirrels.

  27. Spencer

    I like how all it takes for shit to hit the fan for Billie and Ruth is for a sensible person to be in the same room as them.

    This is a trainwreck and I am loving every second of it.

    1. Dara

      yes

      all of this

      yes

    2. Cerberus

      Carla is just carving through the gothic fantasy of the relationship to its core issues like a blunt chainsaw. And I agree, it’s somewhat beautiful.

      1. Spencer

        Could you imagine if every fucked up romance story had a Carla in it?

        Twilight would have ended halfway through with Carla beating Edward and Bella with a tire iron.

        1. Cerberus

          It would just be Carla pointing at Edward and screaming “you do realize he’s a creepy stalker, right?” and then building a holy water auto-turret outside Bella’s window and nopeing to… I dunno, her dad maybe to be like, hey, talk to your daughter about her crippling low self-esteem and death wish.

        2. SgtWadeyWilson

          Is it bad that my only question is: if every fucked up romance story had a Carla in it, would Mercutio have survived?

        3. Zatar

          No. It is very good.

        4. Kamino Neko

          No, Mercutio’s death would be the turning point that got her dragged into things. ‘I want no part of your stupid shenanigans’ to ‘Jesus, you guys got somebody killed. What the actual fuck?’

        5. Tyler Durham

          I’m actually helping out in a production of Romeo and Juliet right now, and my interpretation of Mercutio is that he’s looking for a place to die. A Carla couldn’t have saved Mercutio, because his death had less to do with Romeo and Juliet than his own self destructive recklessness.

        6. Cerberus

          I have a terrified feeling that if she was in that play, she’d be the Mercutio.

        7. StClair

          “Fuck both your fucking houses.”

        8. Orion Fury

          Thoughts on how the Fifty Shades stuff would’ve been better?

        9. CJ

          Only if Carla was also able to inspire good writing techniques…

        10. Cerberus

          See Twilight notes, but replace holy water autoturret with a glitter cannon because Christian Grey’s fragile masculinity and neatness obsession could never abide being glittered.*

          *But seriously, that novel could have been improved if it was actually about a kinky couple rather than a creepy obsessive rapist using financial power and his victim’s ignorance of kink to get her to technically “agree” to his assaults. That book is like Coerced Consent Isn’t Consent: The Novelization

  28. MeghanTheDreamCrusher

    That ugly dictator! Who smells!…like a spring time meadow

    1. Spencer

      “She’s always pushing me around with those soft hands of hers!”

      1. Orion Fury

        “Staring down at me with those ‘come-hither’ eyes!”

        1. Deanatay

          “Pinning me to the wall, staring deep into my eyes, her passionate lips trembling…”
          IT’S NOT LIKE I HATE HER OR ANYTHING

  29. David Alexander McDonald

    Your Daddy ain’t your Daddy but your Daddy don’t know….

  30. Sageress

    How did Billie… get in to college?

    Just saying, if somebody thinks that the chunky, pale, short brown hair-having Amazi-Girl could possibly be the thin, athletically built, long frazzy haired and BLACK Sal… they ain’t right in the head.

    1. Anorak

      maybe she has read too many comics and thinks skrulls are real?

    2. Peny

      Maybe bribes.

      1. David

        Also known as tuition. Her family background did not sound like she depended on scholarships or even a student loan agreement.

    3. JessWitt

      It’s the beer goggles. And the withdrawal symptoms.

    4. Anorak

      don’t most american universities have stupid sports-related scholarships? billie was a cheerleader

      1. Cerberus

        That would have likely been rescinded when she crashed her car in a drunk driving incident and was stripped of her cheerleading position.

        1. Anorak

          oh, right. i forgot about that

      2. Reltzik

        Also, if they gave her a cheerleader scholarship, they would have made her a cheerleader.

    5. deadlinedance

      As a retail employee, you’d be amazed at how many people don’t recognize you out of uniform.

      This includes my own coworkers.

      And Billie pays, like, no attention to Amber whatsoever, so…

      1. Sageress

        I never said she should know it’s Amber.

        But her thinking Sal is Amazi-Girl is like me saying that Superman is Wanda Sykes. It just clearly isn’t true.

        1. adam

          So, you are saying Superman isnt Wanda Sykes ?
          interesting.

          But he absorbs sunlight except for red light.
          So He’s not white.

        2. Anorak

          wouldnt that make him red then?

        3. adam

          Or a ruddy brown.
          like an native of the Andes.

          But if you are absorbing yellow light like battery,
          you are not going white.

        4. Kamino Neko

          He actually absorbs red preferentially…that’s why it depowers him. (Yes, this makes absolutely no sense, but it’s superhero comics, you can’t expect proper science.)

        5. adam

          That explains why more crimes happen in late afternoon

        6. Kamino Neko

          Well, Billie actually got the gender right, so… More like thinking Steve Harvey is Superman.

          ‘He’s bald.’ ‘Wig!’ ‘And doughy.’ ‘Girdle!’ ‘And black.’ ‘And Superman isn’t?’

        7. Deanatay

          Superman is like Jesus – every race and nationality sees him as their own.

    6. Greenygal

      On the one hand, Billie has had very few direct encounters with Amazi-Girl. On the other hand, one of them involved looking her in the face in good light while sober, so you would think she might at least have noticed that Amazi-Girl isn’t black.

      1. Orion Fury

        Makeup?

        1. Sageress

          Amazi-Girl’s utilization of white face has been controversial, to some

        2. Orion Fury

          Glad you said it, I’d probably been burned at the stake if I did.

      2. Reltzik

        …. have we confirmed that she was sober?

        I mean, we didn’t see her drinking in the preceding few comics so we might assume she was sober. …. but it’s Billie.

      3. vlademir1

        Sobering up can have at least as many side effects in a case like Billie or Ruth, and those side effects can last for well over a month while being much worse than the direct effects of the alcohol.

    7. Needfuldoer

      Money.

    8. Vex Godglove

      All it takes to get into a public university is to graduate from high school in the state and have money or loans for the tuition. You’re guaranteed admittance at least for the first semester. After that it’s up to you to maintain the grades necessary to continue.

  31. Bagge

    Hey, Carla, stop stealing jokes from the comment section.

    1. Cerberus

      That surreal feeling when the character you love the most and identify with the most makes exactly the type of joke you regularly make*.

      *Get out of my head, Carla! Take your reality-bending powers and begone!

      1. Bagge

        All this time you have been reading Carla, Carla has been reading you.

        1. Orion Fury

          Carla resides in all of us. Didn’t you know that Cerberus is comprised of three of them?

        2. TheHabbadasher

          Thus the true scheme behind Dumbing of Age is revealed. Slowly as we come to know her better and love her more the Carla within all of us is growing. Soon now the day will come when she breaks out of our collective imagination and into reality. It is said that it’ll be a pretty damn rad day.

        3. Bagge

          Man, they are going to be so surprised in the Amazon. “Who ARE all these people, and what’s up with the pie?”

        4. Deanatay

          Carla + Ethan + Ruth = C+E+R+berus.

          SECRET IDENTITY REVEALED

        5. Cerberus

          Triple queer. Nerd Obsession. Depression. Yeah. Checks out.

        6. David

          All that is needed to let her dark side show is a Carlatan. I’ll let myself out, don’t bother.

        7. Reltzik

          And when you stare into the abyss, sometimes the abyss makes snarky comments and cuts through your bullshit.

  32. Key

    poor sal

  33. inqntrol

    Oh right, I forgot that Billie came to the (wrong) conclusion that Sal is AG. April O’Neil and Lois Lane would be disappointed.

    1. SgtWadeyWilson

      Most iterations of Lois Lane can’t tell that Clark Kent is Superman. I’m pretty sure she doesn’t really have much room to judge.

      1. Orion Fury

        I found that joke to be the high point of Superman Returns.

      2. Sageress

        Fun story: Christopher Reeve, while filiming the Superman films, would often go to lunch directly from the set, and thus would go in costume.

        While dressed as Superman, everyone recognized him and he was mobbed by fans.

        While dressed as Clark Kent, nobody even realized he was Christopher Reeve.

        1. StClair

          Anyone who remembers that one scene in Lois’ apartment would believe it.

      3. Kamino Neko

        Clark Kent changes a lot about his appearance between his two identities – glasses, hairstyle, carriage – which is the sort of thing that makes it very difficult (not impossible, but difficult) for people to recognize other people (we take the gestalt, not individual features, unless they’re distinctive). And Lois has never claimed that Jefferson Pierce is Superman, which is equivalent to what Billie is doing here.

        1. Cybersnark

          Upvote for remembering that Jefferson Pierce A) exists and B) is a Metropolis-based character that Lois could conceivably know.

        2. Kamino Neko

          He’s one of my favourite characters.

  34. Chief_of_Staves

    Sal ain’t fuckin’ AmaziGirl, Danny’s on hiatus (at minimum) from fuckin’ AmaziGirl, and Billie ain’t fuckin’ Ruth senseless yet. It’s all fuckin’ messed up fuckin’.

  35. Regalli

    This has been A Day for everyone involved, hasn’t it.

    And it’s not even 2 PM yet.

    1. Spencer

      Heck I don’t even think it’s past noon yet. Joyce never went to the second church service.

  36. nothri

    Man, at this rate all of Billie’s stupid misconceptions and pretenses are not gonna survive the wreckingball that is Carla. All we need now is Billie to get emo and say she’s toxic to everyone she knows and then get Carla to slap some sense into her and everything will be great.

    1. Cerberus

      I suspect the combination of Sal and Carla are gonna be a major ice-cold bath to both Ruth and Billie and will really bring a less… shall we say mutual downward spiral of ill-placed romanticism… to the proceedings, largely because they are much more blunt.

    2. nothri

      That and the alcohol. Cleaning that shit up would also be good.

  37. deadlinedance

    As if Carla wasn’t already the best character.

    Can we have her calling out everyone’s bullshit now? Please?

    1. Cerberus

      Carla for RA!

      Sure, the whole thing will come crashing down in flames within a week, but it will be a truly glorious week.

      1. Orion Fury

        Well that’s, what, at least a year of comics?

      2. Reltzik

        1 week later:

        “BURN THE WITCH!”

        1. Rukduk

          The witch being Mary.

        2. Orion Fury

          Now that I find offensive.

  38. miz

    Actually Billie, you DID tell Danny that Sal was Amazi-Girl, so you’re zero for two on that issue…

    1. miz

      Also, you told Joyce. Though at the time you were still unsure about the theory.

      1. miz

        Wait, didn’t you tell Daisy, too? You did. You totally did.

        1. miz

          And JUST NOW you told CARLA

          WHO HAVEN’T YOU TOLD, BILLIE

        2. Random832

          Well up until today she hadn’t told Sal.

        3. insomniac

          She kinda did, just Sal had no idea WTF Billie was on about.

        4. Reltzik

          She didn’t tell Ruth. Because honesty, not disclosure, was the key to their relationship.

        5. Her.

          yeah and he gave her mario kart and she kicked ass at it

  39. Koms

    This is one of the most hilarious strips ever. So funny on so many levels!

    1. 3-I

      They’re officially the three stooges now.

  40. NinjaNick

    Carla: I triple dog dare you to bang Ruth, Billie.

    😛

    1. Cerberus

      She has no interest in doing “gross things” though.

      1. Reltzik

        Yeah, “triple dog” sounds gross in this context.

        1. Deanatay

          I dare you to triple dog bang Ruth, Billie?

          THINGS JUST GOT WEIRD

        2. Anorak

          Wouldnt that basically be the human centipede?

  41. Bibulb

    Okay, glorious clusterfarg aside (and it IS glorious, make no mistake), let me just say how fucking AWESOME the art is here, especially in those last two panels. To quote Lucy, “Hey, everyone, check out all these sweet characters makin’ all these precious faces.”

    Just, expressive and awesome.

    1. Historyman68

      I was just about to say that! Billie’s gesturing and faces in particular are really fluid and beautifully done.

    2. Orion Fury

      All of it. Musta been a knuckle down day.

    3. Sageress

      Looks… the same as always? Same perspective, etc. etc.

      1. Historyman68

        Yes the perspective is the same, but look at the curve on Billie’s arm in panel one or her face on the last panel: they’re very graceful curves, as well as evoking very specific emotions and body language.

        None of this is saying that DoA doesn’t usually have these things, just that it seems particularly well-done today.

  42. Icalasari

    Sal fans are having a field day with all these faces, I’m sure

    1. Her.

      oh fuck yeah

    2. Leorale

      It’s great!

  43. Spaz

    After reading some of the comments, I have a Slipshine request for Willis:

    AmberxAmazigirl.

    ego x alter-ego epic hatefuck

    1. Reltzik

      How….

      …. how would they even….

      …. wait, nevermind, figured it out.

  44. Cerberus

    Comic Reactions:

    Panel 1: Those bugging eyes when Billie literally shushes Carla. You can already tell that that’s something you do not fucking do to her in that moment and that that is gonna arouse some serious anger in Carla.

    And it’s kinda understandable that she’d be a bit pissed off here. I mean, she’s just dealt with some annoying transphobe lording over her all weekend and then Billie asked for a favor that turned out to be serving as suicide watch without any warning and after Billie has yelled at her already once before and she got a bunch of assholes teasing her for an attraction she doesn’t have.

    Like, yeah, she shouldn’t have outed Billie and Billie is right to jump to her feet and respond negatively, especially since she understands better than Carla how important the secret is to Ruth and her fight to stay alive. But this is 10 gallons of petrol on a burning dumpster fire, right there.

    Panel 2: I love that Carla literally shoves Billie’s finger away and glares at her. It’s clear how done she is with all the secrecy and games now that there’s a suicidal girl she has no idea how to handle dumped on her plate.

    Like, I’m still ugh-ing about her belief that sex solves depression, but I like her overall response and I absolutely love the little confirmation in the “gross things” line that a) she recognized in hindsight Billie’s moans back from when Ruth was “working out aggression on her closet door” and b) she’s sex-repulsed/sex-averse like Ultra Car in the other universe.

    And I especially love the way it’s interplaying with Carla in specific so that Carla is all “yeah queer romance, that’s bad ass” while still being “ew, messy biology stuff”.

    1. Tenzhi

      Nah, clearly Carla wants Billie to perform 144 sex acts with Ruth. It’s the recommended anti-depression dose.

      1. Orion Fury

        I wonder how many guys wish for an overdose then…

        1. Reltzik

          Lemme think. Assuming an overly optimistic 10 minute recovery time, and a… rapid 2 minute time for the sex act itself…. that gives us 120 sex acts in a day. Unless there’s multiple sex acts per orgasm?

          …. 144 sex acts over what time frame? Dosages are normally in terms of so many pills per day or whatever.

          …. I’m putting way too much rational thought into this.

    2. thejeff

      I still Carla isn’t so much thinking “sex solves depression”, but more that this particular depression is caused by them breaking up so shove them back together in the most drastic way. Now assuming that the relationship is just sex or at least that sex is enough to restart it comes with its own set of problems – but isn’t an unsurprising assumption, given that Billie’s involved.

      Dealing with someone else’s depression – that wasn’t apparently directly linked to a breakup, I really doubt she’d consider sex a solution.

    3. a snow ʍousɐ

      ohhhh, it was a “straight” pun

      whoosh

      1. a snow ʍousɐ

        (sorry, that’s supposed to be a reply to your other “comic reactions” post)

  45. Cerberus

    More comic reactions:

    Panel 3: Carla is straight up pointing over Billie’s head at Sal for that accusation of everyone thinking Carla likes Ruth. Cause, that moment probably did hurt a lot for Carla.

    Like, I know I’m just being shipper trash, but I really do believe that Carla has a crush on Sal, so hearing her crush tease her and assume she’s into someone else probably genuinely did hurt her feelings. And especially when everyone started teasing her about it, cause that’s likely a sore spot growing up queer and trans and ace*.

    *Most people’s teasing of queer trans ace folks about attractions tends to be a bit more… menacing than innocent and especially so in high school cause it has an edge of “you’re liking these people in the correct way, aren’t you?” or weird heteronormative enforcement.

    Oh, and Carla, no, don’t out people without permission. Like, I know you’ve got this whole baby tranarchist vibe going that’s so reminiscent of kids I used to mentor, but people frequently remain closeted or secretive about queer relationships for a reason and this is no exception. Ruth could be genuinely harmed if things get out and this is something you know because you know about Mary’s blackmail and why it matters to Ruth.

    Like, I know you’re angry, but still, Billie’s got a very good reason to be going completely off on you in this panel.

    Panel 4: Ha! What a callback. Also, I think we’re 3 for 3 on angry women here, because Sal is in no fucking mood to be called Amazi-girl, especially in a culture where unarmed black youth keep getting gunned down by overzealous “justice” types.

    And you can see it in the immediate shift from “what the what” face to “I will stab you with my femurs” face in an instant.

    Also, I love how unabashedly and unashamedly queer Carla is when she feels she is with queer fam. Like, this cracking jokes about how it’s too late for the queer folks to keep “straight” is exactly the sort of joke me and my friends make with each other all the time and it’s just a perfect illustration of how comfortable she’s been feeling with Sal and how much she feels empowered by Ruth and Billie’s little queer love affair (before it turned dark and murder-cavey on her with suicide watches and being yelled at).

    1. Bagge

      Yup, she’s hiding it under her usual snark, but Carla is extremely freaked out by Ruth’s depression. Outing Billie and Ruth is simply not done, especially not since she KNOWS that Mary guns for them, but she is freaked out enough to blurt it out anyway.

      1. thejeff

        She’s also outing them to Sal, who she probably trusts to both not be bothered by it and to keep it secret. Still not cool, but not like she’s announcing it to the whole dorm or anything.

    2. Orion Fury

      [Insert Freakazoid Reference Joke Here]

    3. adam

      Cerb,

      I have a question to you ( totally out of my own wild ass ignorance ) .
      How are Trans /Ace reltionships policed/ regulated, or do they slip under the radar as invisible and/ or unpoliceable ?

      I’m asking because Doa has sort of opened the issue, or opened the door, and I have no idea how or what, the Official reaction would be.

      For instance, Could Carla actually be Billie’s and Ruth’s Beard, here?
      Not ‘should’ she, but could she?

      Could Ruth get in trouble for having a non-physical relationship with a floormate ? Could being in a relationship with an Ace be a get out of jail card?

      I’m trying to think about what the official response would be, and Im stumped. Even if they judge on intent alone it would seems to be a choice where they have to ignore it ( intent to be nonphysical relationship ) or be totalitarian. I also cant put it past colleges to hamfisted about rules, and apply them unfairly. There seems to be competing standards of Equality here

      1. Cerberus

        No worries, though I’m gonna try to answer this in parts.

        First up, the official response of downstairs learning about a relationship between Ruth and Carla would pretty much be the same as learning about a relationship between Ruth and Billie as relationships with ace people are still relationships and especially as it’s not the sex that’s the main objection, it’s the relationship itself that’s the conflict of interest.

        What would change though is Carla is a sophomore and so could quickly resolve the “conflict” by just moving into her own apartment. Now it’s just two students dating and there’s no rules against that here because Indiana Univeristy isn’t Bob Jones U.

        As to the other question, which is what policing do trans and ace people see in their relationships, I’ll start with ace folks. So, ace folks tend to see when they come out an increase in people trying to pair them with people or “trick” them into admitting a sexual desire and thus proving they are “liars”. So, this often takes the form of family and acquaintances making very pointed remarks about so-and-so being hot, right or pouring over dating history and so on. And this also leads to aggressive monitoring about liking people the right way. When I was a kid, long before I came out, I was still a little ace girl, and so people really cottoned on quick that I wasn’t showing interest in women in the “right way” and so that got extra focused on and attacked. Teasing also tends to take the form of trying to emphasize the sexual as a means of “hinting” the ace person into the “correct attraction”.

        If an ace person is also aromantic, they also tend to get hit additionally by demands that they enter a relationship with anyone and having themselves shipped with whoever they talk to or being extra ridden by family and acquaintance about the importance of marrying and so on.

        For trans people, the policing goes several ways. Before coming out, a lot of trans people get hit hard with folks extra emphasizing attraction to “opposite” gender individuals, because trans egghood mostly looks like an awkwardness around gender norms from the outside and people interpret that as gayness and so are trying to “discourage that sort of behavior” by encouraging the “right type of attractions” and “ways of being” (see also, “butch up” thrown at an effeminate child read as if male).

        After coming out, the encouragement is still for “opposite” gender folks to what you were assigned at birth, because transness is seen as extreme gayness. But if you go, yeah, totally, I’m so lesbian for girls or gay for boys or queer for enbies and so on, then it tends to flip in the other direction and you start getting hit with demands that you show attraction for the “opposite” gender of your real gender like a “real trans person” and then following it up with increasingly hostile misgendering when you fail to follow suit.

        When you combine it, well… I can mostly speak from my own experiences and the experiences of other trans ace people I know that it tends to go really really bad and the world can get super hostile to any romantic decision you so choose and will tease you mercilessly in various directions to make you less of a “freak”. And this is especially strong in middle school and high school where you might not even realize all the pieces yet.

        Hopefully this helps.

        1. adam

          Thanks for that. That was very detailed.

          I may have been conflating Ace with ( Ace +aromantic ) .
          You answered more than I intended to ask, but that doesnt mean I shouldnt learn it.

          I still think there may be a conflict of interest ( RA situation if Ace+ aromantic ) but from an objective 3rd party view, that would mean singling out an ace aromantic relationship with a greater scrutiny,than a cis or non queer friendship; which seems wrong.

          The problem here is that I dont know Carla is aromantic.

  46. TheLurkerAbove

    Oh, this is a glorious set of punchlines. Every time I think Willis has taken an age to set up a punchline, he goes ahead and does yet another.

  47. Mara

    Gooood.

    Soon, there will be the long expected showdown between Darth Amber and Obi-Sal Kenobi. While Jar Jar Billingsworth flees for her life.

    1. marianne

      “Meesa not adding to this storyline, except by farting for comedic effect!”

      1. Reltzik

        That’s Jar-Jar Walky.

        1. marianne

          More than one Jar Jar in a universe? Maybe Willis needs to reboot again. I’m pretty sure “dabbing” occurs if the Jar Jars reach stable, exponential population growth.

    2. Mara

      The cast of “Dumb Wars – The Willis strikes back” also includes:
      – the wide-eyed idealist whose father finally found back to the light side: Joyce Skywalker;
      – the cynic who has seen too much of life, but still is there to help the idealist when it’s necessary: Sarah Solo;
      – the first friend of Amberkin, who might have prevented Amberkin’s turn to the dark side, but they got separated: Ethan-Gon Jinn;
      – a fierce and fearless friend who has escaped slavery: Chew-Becky;
      – and everyone’s evil father who has many faces: Emperor Dadpatine, also known as Toe-Darth Blainious.

      The true identity of the person known as Walky will be revealed in time.

      1. Slartibeast Button, BIA

        – Leslida, the swamp dwelling mystic who dispenses wisdom in cryptic platitudes that don’t make sense. At first.

        1. Mara

          Perfect! That gives us already 10 characters (including the previously established Danny Amidala).

  48. adam

    Attn WILLIS:
    I unblocked Adblock on your site Cuz i want you to be able to feed your babies.

    BUt 2 days in a row Ive gotten Pop-ads OVER the actual comic.
    ( it was for “Costenyx” some acne medicine. )
    I went to screencap it and it disappeared.
    ill Add link below

    1. adam

      Screencap https://goo.gl/photos/YESgmBe37PxGtU7F8

      1. adam

        If that doesnt work https://www.dropbox.com/s/6rdnh3teapqkwbq/Screenshot%202016-07-20%2001.14.08%282%29.png?dl=0

    2. adam

      from this URL https://s0.2mdn.net/3576711/1456761236723/index.html

    3. CJ

      There was a note from Willis yesterday that Hiveworks found which network the stuff came from and asked them to stop. If you still get it today, they’re not very fast in responding…

      1. adam

        thx.
        I missed his note. But it was extra aggressive today.

  49. Emily

    I’m really enjoying all the facial expressions

  50. Eldritch Gentleman

    If Sal wasn’t so caught off-guard she’d probably punch her for comparing her to that crazy Amazi-Girl XD

    1. Reltzik

      Sal’s really not that violent in Dumbingverse. She’d probably just call Billie crazy and leave out the window.

      1. Deanatay

        She’d be a LOT more violent, if not for Marcie. At least two of Sal’s berzerker rages have been halted by her interference.

        1. Slartibeast Button, BIA

          Marcie, the moderator in the Sal-reactor.

  51. BenRG

    I hope that news of this argument doesn’t reach Amber. In her current condition, hearing the meme that her worst enemy is the secret identity of Amazi-Girl could do all sorts of things to her brain!

  52. Orion Fury

    Currently, no one is fucking anyone. And I’m ok with that. I’d say that makes me a bad shipper, but I’m way past done with the Navy.

    1. inqntrol

      Don’t worry about being a bad shipper, there are worse ways to hit the bottom.

  53. Beachfox

    Every panel in this strip is a wonder to behold.

  54. Arianod

    I live for strips like this ^^

  55. Umbrella Paint

    This strip makes me think Carla is just the comment section in human form.

  56. But, Like...

    Sal looks nothing like Amazi-Girl, how is Billie that stupid?

    …oh yeah.

  57. elebenty

    Come and knock on our door….

  58. CJ

    BTW: Did Carla close the door?

    1. Bagge

      Becky: “I TOLD YOU!!!”

    2. inqntrol

      With all that shouting you can probably hear them through the walls.

  59. Willoughby Chase

    The punch line is funny.

    FTR, I’m not fucking Amazigirl either.

  60. Saki

    I… there are no words to express how much I love every single thing in every single panel of this strip. 😀

  61. BenRG

    Occasionally, there are strips that remind us that, despite the adult problems they face, the main characters in DoA are all teenagers. This is one such strip; the facial expressions, the comedy of errors and the general chaos of this mini-arc are all something straight out of a high school drama!

  62. Reltzik

    No, Billie.

    Don’t go suspecting that Sal is Amazi-Girl.

    Willis doesn’t like that.

  63. Darkoneko

    “I ain’t fucking amazi girl”
    oh, all it takes is a fanfic.

    1. BenRG

      I’ve got a feeling that a big chunk of the fandom had one huge freudean slip when they read that speech bubble.

      1. Cerberus

        Nooooooo…yes.

  64. Alex Daily

    Yeah, alright, but who’s on first?

    1. Orion Fury

      Exactly.

  65. Reltzik

    So… I’m Sal again.

    Honestly, Sal’s not idealistic enough for me.

    I don’t mean that as a dig against her. She doesn’t have any principles she objects to, and (barring her criminal record) she hasn’t really done anything I consider worthy of criticism.

    But she’s all about brass tacks. Her philosophy isn’t about making the world a better place or fixing the problems. She’ll address problems right in front of her but she doesn’t do the big picture. Her philosophy is about figuring out how to get by on a daily and sharing life with people she respects. I think she has firmly ingrained that she CAN’T fix the larger problems, that they’re just facts of life to maneuver around. There’s probably a lot of subtle and not-so-subtle issues involving race and being an caught criminal involved in that attitude. (Was she convicted? Does Indiana family court or whoever handles juvies even do convictions?)

    There’s something almost meditatively zen about her attitude. And it’s also why she could never be Amazi-girl. … unless, you know, alternate personality.

    I’m too much of a fixer at heart. A problem-solver. I see something not-right and I really really want to make it right. There’s a certain strength to that… and a certain weakness too. Sal’s far more at peace with life than I am, and there’s a deep wisdom to that, one that I do not possess. It’s the key to her maturity.

    She’s a worthy individual, Grav Roulette, and a worthy role model, but she does not represent me.

    1. Reltzik

      *doesn’t have any principles that I object to

    2. Mav

      I think for a lot of people who’ve been through shitty childhoods/have debilitating mental illness and the like, its not that they don’t care for the world at all, it’s more that they, where they are at the moment. Can’t possibly care for themselves and AND save the world. Not that they will never care. It really just depends on what your aspirations are. Some people have been through so much that all they want to be on any given day is okay. And that’s fine. It seems like that’s where Sal has been going.

      Shes trying to stay out of trouble, has realized in order to do well in school she has to apply herself instead of going the short way. I like that she’s not totally perfect. But things like racism, etc. You can’t eradicate it completely. You do what you can to eliminate the systemic (I.e. legal) parts, but if you are looking to actually change people’s minds your work will never be done – that’s a journey people like that have to complete on their own.

      Personally I think everyone doesn’t need to be a doctor or a lawyer or president to change the world . Part of the problem for me is that the people who aren’t those things rely on everyone else to fix problems. But anyone can recycle, use a little less water, reflect on their prejudices, go out and VOTE!, ask someone how their day was, etc. To me it’s more about the concept of collective responsibility. It’s the same reason I don’t get why people dislike Pres. Barack Obama so much. Like, he can’t wave a magic wand because he is not a dictator. Oh, you don’t like your district leader or your mayor? Then don’t vote them in, that’s literally how democracy works. We all need to participate, no matter how small the effort. So even though Sal isn’t Dorothy for example, she still makes an effort to help others sometimes. When you help someone else for that person it can make a world of difference.

  66. Stairmasternem

    Carla continues to be the blunt force of mostly truths. Sal however continues to wish she could be on her motorcycle right now, far far away.

    I do love how dense Billie is when things aren’t matching her reality. Skin color and body shape are two obvious things she should realize don’t match between Amazi-Girl and Sal.

    Also when was the last time a vigilante hero got mixed up with their respective rival this many times?

    1. Reltzik

      On the bright side, at least she is colorblind?

      …. is that a bright side? I mean total colorblindness blinds us to an aspect of a person’s experience, but at least Billie isn’t paying too much attention to race?

      1. Stairmasternem

        To me it’s the overkill response. Sides in this case it’s bad, she’s actively ignoring evidence that does not fit her reality.

  67. davidbreslin101

    Reminds me of a classic Pratchett joke:
    “—-! He’s a —-ing wizard! I hate —-ing wizards!”
    “Then don’t —- them, then,” he replied, effortlessly pronouncing the row of dashes.

  68. podian

    Poor Sal just can’t catch a break, can she?

  69. exilon1

    Ay that last panel has me in stitches and is such a perfect culmination of everything that’s going on right now

  70. Mancuso

    I don’t always laugh out loud at a DOA strip but when I do, I may pee myself a little. Just Sal’s facial expressions these two last days would make it gold, but everything else is just fucking epic.

    1. Mancuso

      I stand corrected: EVERYBODY’S facial expressions.
      Willis, this is your friggin’ Citizen Kane.

  71. Kater

    I suppose it’s maddness to suggest Billie switch dorms or live off campus….
    I guess some colleges have a rule about freshmen having to live in the dorms but I switched roommates three times in my freashman year.

  72. Deanatay

    It’s interesting to see Sal’s evolution of how she reacts to being called ‘Amazi-Girl’.

    At first, she was just confused, and maybe a little off-put.

    Now, she actually KNOWS Amazi-Girl. Now, it pisses her off.

    1. Slartibeast Button, BIA

      “If only I had a boyfriend to to try and talk me out of being an idiot.”

      1. thejeff

        That’s what Marcie’s for.

  73. Paul1963

    I love the facial expressions in the last couple of strips.

  74. SomeGuy

    I’m kind of surprised only one person in these comments so far has gotten a sense of foreboding from Carla in panel 4. I mean, she’s saying “Too late for that” while looking back… to where the door is. It’s a bit hard to read her expression with her hair in her eyes. Cerberus thought it was flippant, but it could easily be worried.

    1. Slartibeast Button, BIA

      Another case of “forgot to lock the door”?

    2. thejeff

      I think she’s more rolling her eyes than actually looking back.

      And snarking on the “straight” part of the comment.

      1. Emily

        That’s my take too because lord knows I can’t resist using any occurrence of the word “straight” as a springboard to make a joke about being gay.

        1. Cerberus

          Me too! It makes giving me directions… fun.

        2. Slartibeast Button, BIA

          Now I want to point you at Piers Anthony’s Polarians, who are always going on about “circularity”.

          (This is early PA, as opposed to later PA, who I have heard gets rather creepy.)

  75. the bitter experience

    huhuh- she said straight”. damn you willis, I was enjoying my coffee.

  76. acher4

    It’s amazing how each panel in today’s strip is like a laugh out loud goldmine.

  77. Aquatus

    This has been a very strange couple of minutes in Sal’s life.

  78. Alexx

    And I haven’t even found out who’s on first yet!

  79. Triniking1234

    Well, has Billie even encountered Amazi-Girl yet?

    1. Spencer

      Enough times to notice that Amazi-Girl and Sal look nothing like each other.

      Billie’s kind of thick when she wants to be. She probably just figured Sal was Amazi-Girl and then went back to the schnapps.

      1. Madock345

        Billie is pretty thick all the time ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

        1. Spencer

          Walked right into that one, didn’t I?

    2. Slartibeast Button, BIA

      Several times. The first time AG let her be on top.

      http://www.dumbingofage.com/tag/billie+Amazi-girl/

      1. Anorak

        The way you described it, i expected the first one to be a slipshine

        1. Slartibeast Button, BIA

          [marks another notch on monitor]

  80. PomperaFirpa

    I’m just imagining Amber looking up from her computer, completely baffled, like Sarah in the Round Hole conversation from waaaaay back.

  81. Potatamoto

    Love this one! Whole thing’s funny, but capping it off with Sal & Billy’s expression in the last panel cracks me right up!

    Also, yeah, sorry Billie, but gotta side with Carla here…she promised to keep it a secret, never promised to become some weird surrogate for a face to face relationship, which is where this was headed before she put the brakes on.

  82. Zip

    not gonna lie, I think Billie’s face in the last panel is some of your best expression work basically ever.

    1. Doopyboop

      Agreed!

    2. StClair

      +1

  83. Falling Star

    I DON’T UNDERSTAND WHAT’S HAPPENING

  84. Luchucholo

    Ah, kids. xD

  85. BrokenEye, The True False Prophet

    I read that last ____ing panel in Mr. Tulip’s voice, which is ____ing difficult, because Mr. Tulip is a character from a ____ing novel so I don’t actually know what his ____ing voice sounds like.

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