280

Desecrated
Posted on November 25, 2018 by David M Willis

280 thoughts on “Desecrated”

  1. Ana Chronistic

    calling in ALL THE FAVOURS

  2. Doctor_Who

    “I owe you my life.”

    “No thanks, I’ve seen it.”

    1. Goki

      XD

    2. Agemegos

      Hah!

    3. Clif

      Good one. Now stolen.

      1. Doctor_Who

        I’m pretty sure I stole it from Bob’s Burgers, so what goes around comes around.

        1. Adam Black

          Rocky Horror

  3. newllend(henryvolt)

    The stairs are for ukulele playing and getting dumped if you want to express violence that’s for the other set of stairs on the other side of the building where people get stabbed.

    1. JessWitt

      Wait, there are TWO separate staircases?!

      1. newllend(henryvolt)

        Just lik how there’s more than one way into the building.

        1. JessWitt

          Makes sense. But I always suspected all these incidents happened on just one of the staircases.

        2. ShinyNeen

          I thought that too, until recently, since there were jokes made about the stair(s) being cursed and all.

          Maybe *gasp* both stairs are cursed!

        3. abysswatcher1993

          Danny: I warned you about the stairs bro! I told you dog!

        4. neeks

          …. you know, I can kind of see Danny being a Homestuck.

        5. Pablo360

          I don’t think he’s weird enough, honestly.

        6. CrowsCrone

          I warned you about the stairs, bro. I told you about the stairs.

        7. Pablo360

          The moment to be the first one to resurrect a dessicated meme has, tragically, passed.

      2. Makkabee

        “Wait, there are TWO separate staircases?!”

        One going up and one going down.

        1. Leorale

          And one case going nowhere, just for show

  4. shadowcell

    Dumbing of Age Book 9: I Dunno, You Were Attacked By Bees or Whatever

    1. MM

      I was thinking “This Place Is for Playing the Ukelele and Getting Dumped.”

      1. Doctor_Who

        Amazingly, the getting dumped isn’t always an immediate result of the ukulele playing.

        1. LookingIn

          It is the unfortunate cause of it though…

      2. Marsh Maryrose

        “I Can’t Believe You Two Desecrated the Sanctity of the Stairs.”

  5. King Daniel

    “A life for a life. My debt is repaid.”

    1. ego

      … then dorothy tears amber a new one over walky?

      1. Yumi

        Based on the quote, then Dorothy and Amber end up together. They’ll get married in the direct-to-video sequel.

  6. AnvilPro

    Ruth already knew Amber was Amazigirl because she goes snooping through everyone on the floor’s closets. At least it’s not drinking

    1. Doctor_Who

      Problem is, sometimes she drinks and snoops at the same time. As a result, Amber once had to fight crime in a Dragons cheerleader uniform.

      1. King Daniel

        Leading some people to speculate that Billie is, in fact, Amazi-Girl.

        The one incident where Amazi-Girl broke up Ruth and Billie’s prospective fight and carried off the latter was just to throw people off the trail.

        1. neeks

          It was actually Billie in an Amazigirl version of those “guy riding a horse or whatever” costumes.

        2. Catman

          I’d buy that

        3. Daisy

          she has a blue and gold costume! go dragons!

  7. Nono

    Dorothy implying that she’s saving Amber’s life by letting people know about Amazi-Girl.

    She’s a smart one.

    1. Agemegos

      Yeah, she has made a play at least one level deeper than I appreciated.

    2. Chris Phoenix

      I didn’t read it that way. What I saw was “I knew Ruth was the only authority figure who might try to cover for you. If she hadn’t gotten involved quickly, Security or Chloe would be out here, and you’d be screwed. I did you a big favor, on purpose, by getting Ruth.”

      Which is pretty much what I thought yesterday. Should’ve written it up and then I could have said “Called it!”

  8. BBCC

    Pffft! Ruth would make a great mother.

    “Both of you go to your rooms!”

    And…yeah, interesting. Wonder how long it’ll be until all the kids in their group are filled in.

    1. Rabid Rabbit

      I’ve always said that Ruth honestly has it in her to be a great RA.

      Just, you know, her brain gets in the way of it sometimes.

      1. BBCC

        And, y’know, if she wanted the job at all.

        1. Rabid Rabbit

          I’m not sure she didn’t at first (as in last year). Responsibility, earning a wage (or is that all in tuition rebates?), a measure of independence, maybe a chance to show Sir she’s reliable, her own room, people to bully… In the abstract it probably wasn’t too bad a proposition.

        2. BBCC

          Yeah, but she no longer wants it, and it is probably not good for her mental health knowing shitface got her her job back.

        3. Rabid Rabbit

          Still doesn’t mean she’s not good at it.

        4. BBCC

          Agreed, she can be a great RA. It just might not be what she wants anymore.

        5. Rabid Rabbit

          Yeah. Which is unfortunate, because it might actually help her depression-wise (something to focus on other than herself, forcing her to interact with people rather than hiding in her room, possibly even occasional endorphine-releasing moments of realizing she’s done well), but the fact Sir’s behind it probably cuts away at that.

        6. BBCC

          Yeah, plus the job also adds a lot of responsibility and pressure. Some people find relief in that as a distraction, but others find it detrimental and Ruth seemed to feel the latter way, especially because douchebag mcgee is behind it.

        7. Catman

          I’ve always thought that people who want to have authority over others tend not to be the ones who should have it.

        8. Meagan

          Ditto to this.

        9. BBCC

          On the other hand, someone who doesn’t want to be in charge is probably not a good idea either. God knows I’m more likely to half ass something I don’t want to do.

        10. Rain

          Yeah, like…… some people are actually good at and enjoy management. That’s obviously not what most people think of when they rattle off adages about how those who want authority or to be politicians are the people who shouldn’t get to do the thing, but it conflates any sort of interest with the wrong sort of interest.

        11. Catman

          Oh, please don’t get me wrong, I’m not saying that the people who should be in charge are the ones who resent the position. I

          If I were to pick the best people it would be the ones who don’t want to, but are willing to do it anyway.

        12. Kinoko

          Pretty much every RA I ever knew had a really strong sense of community and legitimately wanted to help out. I’m sure there were other factors, like free room and board, or it looking good on a resume. But none of them were blind to the fact that they were given Great Responsibility along with that Great Power.

        13. Sam

          It depends strongly on why they want the authority. One of my lecturers said he knew a guy who worked hard to climb the corporate ladder. Why? Because a frequent duty at a lower level was for people to clean up cigarette butts, even if they were not smokers. When he had the authority, he made it so only smokers had to do it. The number that were dropped then magically drastically decreased when smokers had to clean up after themselves.

          He made it better for others because he hated the way it was for him. So not everyone wants power just because, some want it so they can improve things.

    2. Needfuldoer

      The bar is set pretty low in this universe, she’d surpass most of them without even trying.

  9. Durandal_1707

    So many enablers in this strip.

    1. DailyBrad

      Unless you want Amber and Sal gone forever in strip time, you kinda have to.

    2. Kittie

      It’d be nice if our institutions tended to offer options besides “pretend nothing happened” and “make sure that after they’re harshly punished, their transgressions are carefully documented so that no one ever makes the mistake of thinking they belong in society again.” But sometimes “enabling” (mercy) is the least awful choice.

      1. Swissaboo

        You could completely ignore that the fight happened, but admit to ‘hey two of my residents just realised they have a SUPER negative history with each other, we should probably move one of them into a different dorm.’

        1. SeanR

          Sal. She can switch with the super perky girl that Billie is rooming with now.

        2. Blob

          No. Because if Lucy and Joyce meet the world will end.

    3. Fart Captor

      There’s a difference between blindly enabling and giving people a chance to do better. Ruth is doing the later.

      1. Daisy

        Agreed. Ruth presumably saw that Sal stopped the fight on her own and she’s versed the on-file version of both girls’ issues. The situation is exceptional as they’ve only just realised who each other are. The pass is very clearly a one-off and threats are implied for if they repeat the incident.

        Dorothy, thankfully, also seems to be trying to bring attention/help to Amber. Danny reached that point a while back and got cut out for it. Ethan is trying to avoid Danny’s fate and is taking the ‘support you through your mistakes’ angle.

        Walky is the concern for me.

        1. thejeff

          Walky essentially has no clue or any reason to suspect any of the trouble he’s walking into. It’s likely to get ugly soon. Whether that’s Sal talking to him about it or him meeting Amazi-Girl again.

  10. Patrick McCabe

    So Amber is about to feel bad about dating walky for another reason now

    1. newllend(henryvolt)

      Amber probably didn’t notice but if I were to count the number of good friends Dorothy has Amber would maybe come in second behind Joyce.

  11. Yumi

    Danny is so unnecessary and so appreciated here.

    1. meanderling

      Danny is having a weird time at college.

      1. Yumi

        And it’s still not the weirdest time.

        1. Catman

          His time is pretty weird. He’s a decent contender.

        2. Jdorr

          I mean he would probably be the most normal if he wasn’t connected to all the weirdest people in one way or another… and the whole dating a superhero thing

        3. Catman

          Except Amber seems to have been doing this for a while. From her twisted view of the world this might be her normal.

          Danny on the other hand was dumped, fell in love with a super hero, fell in love with another girl, found out that they were the same person, developed a crush on her ex boyfriend, got dumped for hanging out with Sal (on the same steps as his first dumping), found out that his now ex girlfriend was now ‘friends’ with Sal, his roommate had a list rating every girl on campus by… Let’s say attractiveness… Get leaked (forgot to mention his leg was used as a tripod for the Senator’s sister’s sex tape) and now his ex girlfriend and Sal just tried to kill each other.
          Pretty weird.

        4. Catman

          Woops, I think I was trying to reply to Yumi

        5. Yumi

          That’s sort of what I meant by the beginning of my comment– Amber’s time is weird, but that’s of her own doing and might not seem weird to her.

          Most of Danny’s stuff doesn’t qualify as “weird” for me…relationships, breakups, discovering sexuality…seems like standard college stuff. Now, the “dating a superhero” thing is weird, as is getting used as a tripod for a sex tape. I just don’t think it’s the weirdest time. But I guess AG in herself is the weirdest thing, so depending on how you weight his involvement with her, I could see the argument.

        6. Yumi

          Who do you think is having the weirdest time at college of the cast? Amber’s time is pretty weird, but she’s more making a weird time than having a weird time.

          I feel like Becky’s time has been pretty weird (and she doesn’t even go here). Sal’s time has gotten decently weird as well.

        7. Kinoko

          Billie’s been having a pretty weird time also. Secret power-imbalanced alcoholic suicide pact girlfriend? Before it settled down into the actually-pretty-cute state that it is now, she and Ruth were a VERY bad idea.

        8. Yumi

          Yeah, it was bad, but how weird was it? I guess it becomes weird in that all those things together become A LOT, but bad relationships/alcoholism/mental illness in themselves aren’t that “weird” for college experiences. Then there is her new dorm, though, which is weird in a whole different way.

  12. Ivy

    Not the time for your dumb jokes, Danny

    1. Goki

      It’s always time for dumb jokes

    2. Zach

      Seriously, Danny, read the room. Well, the immediate area.

    3. timemonkey

      It’s exactly the time for his dumb jokes. Breaks the tension.

    4. JessWitt

      He’s speaking to us, the comic readers.

    5. Kyrik Michalowski

      I think dumb jokes are a far better option than any of the alternatives given what just happened, so Danny is doing just fine. Keep on Danny boy.

    6. JetstreamGW

      You are incorrect.

      1. Clif

        Correct. He is.

        1. JetstreamGW

          He is… not the time for his dumb jokes?

          you’re not making sense Clif. I’m thinking you misread the thread.

    7. Meagan

      This is his way of coping with a situation that makes no sense to him.

  13. Stephen Bierce

    If I had known you were going to take over the DJ job, Willis, I wouldn’t have stayed up tonight. At least I’m medicated enough that my virus is probably not going to abuse me so much overnight. 😐

    1. Rain

      Feel better! 🙁 I miss your musical comments when they’re not here, fwiw.

  14. DailyBrad

    I figured it’d be Walky breaking it up, but this makes sense. I am really curious what the fallout is going to be there, both in him finding out and Dorothy finding out Amber’s dating Walky.

    1. ShinyNeen

      Yeah, the lack of Walky in this scene surprised me too! I guess his thing right now is kinda to be in the dark about Amber’s troubles.

      Though I guess the storyline isn’t quite over yet, either.

      1. Rabid Rabbit

        Well, last time we saw him, Walky was deliberately going in a different direction from both Amber and Dorothy, so getting him here would have required comic-strip mechanics.

        Wait…

        1. DailyBrad

          Yeah, I had forgotten that, like Marcie, he was going to be gone from the situation, since I knew she and Malaya went to roller derby, but hadn’t realized, oh yeah, Walky had bailed, too.

        2. BBCC

          I mean, all three will almost certainly hear about it later. I mean, I’m pretty sure ‘your roommate choke slammed the girl down the hall on the stairs’ is something Malaya will hear about, and once she knows, it’s only a matter of time until Marcie hears about it.

  15. Cattleprod

    Well, time to go search for ukulele Wonderwall covers.

    1. UniqueSnowflake2

      If you can’t find any, try “Boulevard of Broken Dreams”.

      1. neeks

        Boulevard of wonderwall

        1. Kinoko

          The two mashup pretty well, actually.

    2. Marsh Maryrose

      And now I’m wondering if there are ukelele covers of “Light and Day” (source of the current storyline title).

      I’m pretty sure there must be, and I’m also pretty sure I don’t want to find them.

      Not related, but vaguely relevant: my brother, a retired Marine officer, has started taking ukelele lessons.

  16. Kyrik Michalowski

    Ruth, Dorothy, your residents/friends don’t deserve you sometimes. If nothing else, we can say that you try to do the best thing, which is better than some people lately. But I’m sure there will be more hate for at least one of them, so let’s see who it is today?

    1. Goki

      Well said

      1. Kyrik Michalowski

        I’m surprised you are showing any support for Dorothy, I was of the impression you disliked her.

        1. Goki

          Meh….. I had a 10 hour road trip, heart ain’t in it tonight.

        2. BarerMender

          Dorothy is the best person in sight.

    2. Emily

      I mean Ruth’s resident’s don’t deserve her but that’s more because she was a super bad RA who abused her authority over them and terrorized them and they deserved better. Like, yay she’s getting better but let’s not pretend that whole thing didn’t happen.

      1. Goki

        Meh…..

      2. Rain

        “Sometimes” being the operative word in the comment.

      3. 3-I

        No, you know what, let’s. For once. Because nobody has ever tried it, and it’d be nice.

        1. Emily

          Yeah it’d be real nice to pretend this woman didn’t terrorize an entire floor full of people she had authority over.

  17. MatthewTheLucky

    Goddammit Amber, how do you not get that everyone’s happy about you carving up gashface?

    1. Agemegos

      Or that they are not going to cheer when you carve up Sal.

      1. Rabid Rabbit

        Especially since you already did. You only get one free carve-up.

        1. Sporky

          That’s also true for pumpkins.

    2. Fart Captor

      Her brain sucks and makes it really hard for her to believe things like that

    3. Kris

      Not everyone. Gashface’s parents are sueing the shit out of her.

      1. Drunk Mike

        I wouldn’t count them because they aren’t being objective on the issue. I mean, I don’t expect them to, but still.

    4. Needfuldoer

      Because any praise she gets for that sounds like Blaine to her.

  18. Roger

    okay well, that really does make the most sense for the story and for neither of these two to get removed from the setting permanently.

  19. MatthewTheLucky

    Very promising future, these two.

    1. Deanatay

      Such potential. Wouldn’t want to ruin it by… shining a light.

  20. Xccj

    Dang it, Danny, your whole purpose was to jump between them and get the shit beaten out of you before they realize who they’re punching, then they’d stop and become friends and live happily ever after, but you just stood aside and did nothing. (At least that’s the way I saw it.)

    1. Goki

      To be fair, what would he do? Play the Ukkele until they fell asleep?

      1. Koms

        And draw graffiti on their faces while they slept.

      2. Needfuldoer

        What do you expect a low-level bard to do in a fight?

        1. SeanR

          Generally? Cost the party one diamond worth at least 10,000 gp

  21. Darkoneko

    Holy shit, Wonderbread throwing some shade on his ex

    1. King Daniel

      Which one? 😛

      1. John

        Por que no los dos? They’re both right there.

    2. SeanR

      Generally? Cost the party one diamond worth at least 10,000 gp

      1. SeanR

        Whoops, wrong comment.

  22. John

    LARPing. They were LARPing.

    1. Agemegos

      Don’t freak the mundanes!

  23. Tacos

    Well at least Danny knows about what the stairs are for.

    1. Clif

      From experience.

  24. pjeseb

    Amber in panel one: “Dammit, why can’t you people just LET ME DIE ALREADY?!

    Dorothy in panel six: “Because we don’t want you to die, you dingus.”

    1. pjeseb

      Also, “leeme’lone” sounds like a word Willis learned from one of the twins. Is it?

      1. Chris Phoenix

        Huh. I was trying to make a joke about “Write what you know.”

        Then that made me wonder if his twins were old enough to be seriously fighting yet (like Amber and Sal). (Though I’m assuming he plotted this out many years in advance.)

        Then I thought that before too many more years, the twins will be in college… and at that point, he might have to stop doing the strip, because people may think he’s writing about his kids’ experiences and thus throwing shade on their characters.

        (Actually, I’m quite curious now, how far out Willis plans in how much detail, and whether it varies between story lines. I’ve heard some writers say that their characters take over and do things they didn’t expect – but this arc in particular seems to have been planned and foreshadowed for half a decade at least.)

        1. Kinoko

          I believe this story is only supposed to cover the first semester or the first year? Though we’ve definitely got a few more years to enjoy that, real-time.

        2. thejeff

          It’s taken 8 years to get halfway through October. The twins will be high school before we finish this semester and likely have kids of their own before the first year is over.

        3. thejeff

          We know somethings have grown and changed: He’d commented back when Blaine first appeared that he wasn’t Faz’s actual father. He withdrew that, claiming to have forgotten he’d said it when Faz returned. That plot thread seems to have changed in the interim.
          Likely a lot is known in broad strokes, but the details and how it will all play out change as times go on. Most of the foreshadowing for this arc was in backstory. Once established that Sal had robbed the store that Amber was at and gotten stabbed, that was inevitably going to lead to some kind of revelation and confrontation, but when and how may not have been nailed down until more recently.

        4. BBCC

          This is consistent with Willis’ own comments. He’s said before he tends to plan ahead in broad strokes but fills in the details as they come. Some major events were spontaneous (like Carla revealing Ruth’s suicidal state) while others have been hinted at or foreshadowed years in advance (like Amber/Walky and Sal vs. Amber).

        5. BBCC

          Fun fact: Willis had originally planned up to ‘When Somebody Loved Me’ when he first started, so god only knows what he’s come up with in the 8years since.

        6. Regalli

          He also apparently had a plan for what Of Mike And Men would be about but only decided to start it with the flashback (and thus presumably the other flashbacks and maybe some framework for it) shortly before drawing the storyline. (He tweeted that having time to sleep while the twins and Maggie were out for a few days helped generate more overarching ideas.)

      2. Kamino Neko

        Doesn’t really sound like baby talk. What’s missing aren’t sounds that babies tend to have trouble with, but ones adults tend to slur together.

      3. DSL

        Vocalized, it sounds to me more like the slurring together of words as might be expected from someone who’d just finished participating in a mutual physical ass-whoopin’. Verbal coherence is not a hallmark of one emerging from such an experience.

  25. Badgermole

    So did Dorothy tell Ruth about Amazi-Girl or has Ruth known all along?

    1. John

      I don’t think Dorothy would tell someone else’s secret like that.

      Ruth may have figured it out that time she went to RA at Amber, and Amazi-Girl vaulted the railing and rail-ground down the stairwell to get away.

      1. Rabid Rabbit

        But given the phrasing, in the last panel Amber definitely thinks Dorothy told, even if she hasn’t.

        I admire it doesn’t seem likely that she did, not least because I can’t quite imagine the Ruth/Dorothy conversation. How did it go?

        Dorothy: Ruth, come quick! Sal and Amber are fighting!
        Ruth: Meh, don’t care.
        Dorothy: But one of them’s Amazi-Girl!
        Ruth: Oh, goddammit…

        More likely interpretation of Dorothy’s last lines (to my mind) is “I owe you, so I went and got Ruth, who we know is capable of bending rules, and not someone else.”

        1. John

          Ruth: Oh, goddammit, Billie’s stupid theory about Sal being Amazi-Girl was right. I am never going to hear the end of this.

        2. BBCC

          That joke will never not be funny to me. Oh, Billie.

        3. Rain

          Amber, panel one: You told on us to Ruth?
          Dorothy, final panel: Yes, I told Ruth.

          I have no idea how anyone thinks she told Ruth who Amazi-Girl is. I don’t even think Amber thinks she did. She’s literally just answering Amber’s question and correcting her phrasing (“told on” being incorrect and petulant).

        4. Kinoko

          It’s because of the “extracurriculars” line in there by Ruth. We’ve never had any indication otherwise that Ruth knows Amber is Amazi-Girl, but now we do.

          Of course, it’s highly likely that Ruth figured that out on her own, but sandwiching that information between the “you told?” “I told” makes it a bit ambiguous.

        5. Rain

          I mean,

          1.) she said “I’ve got a feeling”, no variation of “a little bird told me” or “rumor has it”.
          2.) she knows about Amber and Ryan, so even without knowing about Amazi-Girl that’s plenty of reason for Amber not to want follow up
          3.) she knows about Blaine, so again, even without knowing about Amazi-Girl that’s plenty of reason for Amber
          4.) she could suspect Sal of being the “sidekick” who hasn’t been donning a mask or cape without knowing Amber is Amaz-Girl
          5.) Ruth is definitely exactly the sort of character who would figure this out and keep it to herself, both for dramatic effect and because she has used the threat of violence and actual violence herself often enough in pursuit of an orderly dorm to look the other way re: Amazi-Girl’s activities. She might have known for ages and just not thought it was worth bringing up. (Not saying she did, just that she would be a great character to use for that purpose. It suits her temperament and her involvement with Amber, which so far has been relatively low but also sympathetic.)

          idk, I could well be wrong. I’m low on sleep and lower on spoons right now. But I really don’t see how telling Ruth that Amber is a masked vigilante helps, from Dorothy’s point of view.

        6. Regalli

          Wouldn’t be something Dorothy tells most likely, but we’ve seen Amber at her worst assume things of people (‘everyone thinks I’m a monster for stbbing him’ and her thinking she didn’t deserve Danny’s friendship so he shouldn’t want to try for two recent non-Sal examples) to feed into her self-loathing and isolation. (Though I believe it was primarily AG who had the whole ‘Sal’s turned you against me!’ thing, which would be the closest analogue.)

  26. Irredentist

    I feel like Ethan and Danny should have intervened WAY before the fight got to the point it did.

    1. Koms

      Yes, maybe they were in shock or panic? To be fair, Ruth came in when Sal had already released Amber.

      1. Rabid Rabbit

        Also, fights happen fast. This escalated to physical violence very quickly. By the time Danny showed up, they were already fighting, and they’re both good enough fighters that trying to intervene would probably have been dangerous.

        Still think Danny should have started playing the Benny Hill theme, though. The sheer incongruity might have got them to stop.

        1. Kinoko

          That can’t be easy to play on a ukulele, though.
          …You almost made me go looking for Yakety Sax ukulele covers, but I resisted.

        2. Makkabee

          https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BEM1y_orjxA

      2. Wizard

        A bit of shock, plus the whole thing probably only took a few minutes for them, instead of stretching out for days the way it did for us readers. Sport fights (wrestling, boxing, MMA, etc) often last longer precisely because they have rules designed to limit how much the competitors can actually hurt each other. Real-life fights are usually over pretty quickly.

        1. TGS

          Basically a D&D combat. Sure its all supposed to be just 6 seconds of time, but the DM fudges it a bit to let some monologging and/or roleplay happen.

    2. BarerMender

      Ethan could’ve dashed in, picked one of them up by the waist, and turned away. Carried her out of the other’s aggression range.

      1. thejeff

        And when she got grabbed, she would have thrown him or hit him. These two are serious.

        1. Rain

          Somebody folks in these comments keep talking like Amber and Sal are squabbling kittens just because they’re women. Like you could just scruff one and be fine.

          Meanwhile — to continue the cat analogy — I have way more size and strength on my cat than Ethan has on Sal, and I don’t lightly charge in to break up a fight between two cats. There are other issues besides strength and size, like speed and instinct and ferocity. Neither Ethan nor Danny seems to have a mean bone in his body, but both women were ready to do stuff like slam each other into concrete.

        2. Rain

          *so many. Ugh autocorrect.

        3. Goki

          No worries rain, happens to the best of us… and me ^_^u

        4. Rain

          Ahahah thanks.

        5. Rabid Rabbit

          And neither Danny nor Ethan had a water pistol to squirt at them, as you can do with cats. Being unprepared like that is why they don’t get to be the superheroes.

        6. thejeff

          You know, that might actually have worked. If only for the confusion and shock value.

        7. Rain

          Hahaha! Agreed. I can see the “wtf” faces on both women now!

        8. Meagan

          I like this analogy a lot

        9. Rain

          Thanks 🙂 I was pleased by it in my sleep deprived state and I still like it now lol

        10. Regalli

          Yeah, MAYBE Ruth with her strong physical skills could have gotten the jump on them and separated them long enough to let the ‘I am an Authority’ aura set in, but anyone else at the scene would’ve been in serious trouble.

        11. Rain

          Basically, this.

        12. BarerMender

          No she wouldn’t. If he had her lifted off the floor by the waist from behind no throw or hit would be possible. And if she did hit him, she doesn’t have enough mass to hurt him. He’s just too big.

        13. ego

          you’ve never had a small child throw its head back and hit you in the nose, i suspect.

        14. thejeff

          Really? He’s not that big. He’s shown no signs of knowing anything about fighting. She took down Blaine, who’s a good bit bigger. And even big people have vulnerable spots, if she can’t put her full mass behind it.

          That’s just not how any of this has been portrayed in the comic. These girls are dangerous. They’re good at this. That they’re small has never mattered in any of the fights they’ve gotten into.

        15. BBCC

          An elbow to the gut can absolutely knock the wind out of him enough to make him let go, even if she’s tiny. So can a kick to the groin, a headbutt into the nose, or reaching back to jam a finger in his eye.

          There’s LOTS of ways to make someone you don’t want grabbing you to let you go.

        16. BarerMender

          An elbow to the gut isn’t worth a damn in a fight unless you’re highly trained in that technique (such as a muay thai fighter), and unless you have the mass to back it up. Ethan is over six feet tall. Amber is five feet and Sal is five feet two or three. They can’t hurt him.

        17. Rain

          And on this day being a man became a literal superpower, capable of rendering such people completely impervious to harm.

        18. thejeff

          These girls are action movie heroes at the least. Saying they can’t hurt bigger guys might (and I emphasize might) be realistic, but it ain’t how this comic works.

          And “highly trained”? Again, however much formal training they’ve got, they go out and beat up gangs of men on a regular, casual basis. Good thing they never happened to run into someone over 6′, who they just couldn’t have hurt.

        19. BBCC

          BullSHIT. You don’t need specialized training (or even to be ‘highly trained’) to elbow someone in the stomach and make it hurt. Stomachs are squishy things and yeah, it’ll hurt AND knock the wind out of you. It’s like the most basic ‘end this quickly and get away’ move EVER besides (if applicable) ‘knee ’em in the nuts’.

          Also, Amber’s five two-five three-ish and Sal’s five seven. In this weird height based world of fights you inhabit, Amber might not be able to hurt him, but Sal’s not that much shorter.

        20. Inahc

          I’m just gonna add my voice to the chorus of “this is ridiculous”. My sensei taught us plenty of ways to hurt someone big who grabs you from behind, and even before that, back in high school when I was so weak I had trouble opening *doors*, I accidentally hurt a friend who was over 6′ by hitting his stomach.

          If you go for the right spots, you don’t need strength.

          The only obstacle to Amber would be remembering it’s her *best friend* that’s grabbing her and not wanting to use dirty tricks on him. But I dunno if that would occur to her in the heat of the moment – she might just react before she even knows who it is.

        21. BBCC

          Good spots to hit someone taller than you – Groin, stomach, solar plexus, ribs, nose, shins, eyes.

        22. Inahc

          Also throat 🙂

        23. BBCC

          Throat’s significantly more dangerous though. If you’re gonna hit someone there, you better be prepared to take them down for good.

  27. mister gray

    Yes she told Amber because everyone saw you two and you were both being idiots!

  28. JessWitt

    Next dorm group activity should either be a camp-out or a group therapy session.

    1. Rabid Rabbit

      That would require Ruth to accept that group therapy works, and she’s having a hard enough time accepting it does in her own case.

      1. JessWitt

        Camping trip it is, then!

  29. ShinyNeen

    Dorothy is totally keeping up that Team Subterfuge spirit, and she’s even gotten Ruth into it! … Well, okay, that’s already close to how Ruth operates, I guess. Whatever, it’s cool! Hooray, major characters not getting expelled!

    1. BBCC

      Would they seriously have gotten kicked out? It’s a big university, surely they have bigger problems?

      Maybe I just think it’s weird because my high school never expelled anybody for fighting, that I know of. Suspended, sure, but I never heard of anyone being kicked out.

      1. JessWitt

        Given that Amber stabbed a guy earlier, a second altercation could spell suspicion on her even if Ryan instigated the first time.

        As for Sal, her mom is the dean’s ex and this can go way downhill for Sally if Linda hears of this.

        1. BBCC

          Ohhhh, yeah, if parents get called, it’s going to be..unpleasant. I doubt Blaine would be called, because he’s not allowed in the building, so it’d just be Stacey. I guess on that front, Amber’s good.

        2. Steve C

          I suspect that the University would not be willing to bring up Ryan. However, if Ryan’s lawyer got wind of this….

        3. Dan Skelley

          Even if Ryan’s lawyers got wind of this It’d do nothing for his sexual assault charges. It wouldn’t help his lawsuit either as he came after them with a knife.
          Ryan’s part in this story is over.

        4. King Daniel

          I’m not a lawyer, but Ryan’s family might have a case for excessive force or something, which would be bolstered if Amber/Amazi-Girl (Ryan’s lawyers wouldn’t be likely to see any distinction) were shown to have a tendency toward violence.

        5. Regalli

          Yeah, their best case is probably that Amber was capable of subduing him and protecting herself and Dorothy (and Joyce, and any other victim of his who lived in that dorm) without the knife and chose to do so anyway (and if they can tie it into her being a vigilante with a history of assaulting people beyond the point where they can fight back, so much the better. Remember, if she can be tied back into what happened to Blaine, she’s in trouble.)

          It’s a civil case brought by Ryan’s parents against Amber that we usually worry about. Ryan’s still sunk criminally, most likely, but his parents proooobably want someone to pay for his life-altering trip to the hospital.

        6. Steve C

          Sexual assult case? Did someone file charges? Did a DA decide there was enough to go on to prosecute?

        7. thejeff

          Oh yeah. I’m not sure we’ve been told explicitly about charges or a DA’s decision, but we know that 3 other girls have come forward claiming he raped them.
          Of course, they may be waiting to see if he ever recovers enough to stand trial.

      2. Yumi

        Yeah, in my experience, using a weapon on someone will get you expelled, but fighting without a weapon is a suspension– in high school. But it’s different in other settings, and depending on who got involved, there could be legal troubles. I don’t know how likely they’d be expelled, though. I think Dorothy was worried about the Amber being the less worse option, killed.

      3. Marsh Maryrose

        If the campus police got involved, and started questioning Amber and Sal separately, what are the odds that sooner or later one of them would let slip something about their extracurricular activity?

        But short of that, in practice, expulsion is pretty rare.

      4. cbwroses

        In my middle school, a kid died from injuries obtained during a fight.
        After that, fighting, per the rules of the school district, resulted in an automatic suspension of 9 days.
        Which was the same as automatically failing the year because you were only allowed to miss 8 days.
        I know this lasted into my high school years, though I don’t know if it’s still in effect now.
        Of course, college is a different matter.

        1. CJ

          And how many poeople lost a year when the fought back on their bullies?
          This is mayor rule-bending because nothing with so much impact should be doled out without sort of a trial.

        2. thejeff

          Yeah, got to love being punished for being beaten up. Lovely no tolerance rules.

    2. ShinyNeen

      The point of investigation being made makes a lot of sense to me, but I feel the need to point out that before reading those points I totally thought expulsion would be a pretty extreme consequence, and I’m not sure why I went that route >.>

      If nothing else, narratively speaking they would never get expelled. Can’t remove major characters from the primary setting, after all. At least, I don’t think Willis would ever do that…

      1. Yumi

        Also, because of this, I was looking up what the expulsion process would be like, and I couldn’t get far into it because it was SO BORING.
        So, there’s another narrative reason not to go that route.

        1. Marsh Maryrose

          I made a cursory attempt at looking up the rules for expulsion at my alma mater, and the document I found is a classic example of vaguely defined offenses, offering all kinds of opportunity for subjectively applied standards.

          The key phrase: Students “may be expelled, suspended, placed on probation or given a lesser sanction,” followed by a laundry list of offenses, with no distinction of severity.

          Did you plagiarize? You might or might not be expelled, suspended, placed on probation or given a lesser sanction,

          Did you knowingly possess or use explosives? You might or might not be expelled, suspended, placed on probation or given a lesser sanction,

          Did you engage in abusive behavior toward a member of the campus community? You might or might not be expelled, suspended, placed on probation or given a lesser sanction,

          Did you obstruct or disrupt the campus educational process, administrative process, or other campus function? You might or might not be expelled, suspended, placed on probation or given a lesser sanction,

          And the one that it really blows my mind that this is listed as an offense that can result in one being expelled, suspended, placed on probation or given a lesser sanction: violation of any order of a campus president.

          (Also, I’m pretty sure that no competent copy editor came within a mile of this document. But that’s a different sort of offense.)

        2. SeanR

          Oh, a young English major may have had a go at it,…a decade ago or more.
          Odds are, every year the same document is revisited, altered, updated, and any corrections made a decade or more ago have probably become just part of the noise.

          Where I work, we have a document that contains no fewer than three fonts for the body, two for headings, and even the margins are different from section to section. Some sections use letter delineated lists while others use numbers. I think there is even a section that uses small roman numerals. The indenting varies sometimes within a single page.
          The reason? Every year, the administration looks over the last years handbook, subscribes changes, makes those changes in Word, and then gets the board to approve the document.

          Editing the index for that thing is a pain…usually two or three times in the summer.

        3. SeanR

          Whoops. PRESCRIBES changes, no subscribes changes. (Although, since some of those changes are mandated from On High, I suppose subscribes changes does have SOME validity.)

        4. Inahc

          Bonus points if their definition of “plagiarism” includes “using the wrong standard format for references” :p

  30. Bobcat

    “This time only, 12. For Rue.”

    1. BBCC

      How dare you, it is nearly one in the morning I DID NOT ASK FOR EMOTIONS.

      1. Kyrik Michalowski

        I don’t understand the reference, explain?

        1. Yumi

          Hunger Games. Katniss teamed up with a 12 year old girl named Rue in the arena. Later on, Katniss (from District 12) interacted with the other tribute from Rue’s district (Rue had been killed by this point), and he spares/doesn’t try to kill Katniss, saying the referenced line.

        2. 3-I

          Also, importantly, after Rue died, she buried her, and made the salute of her district and the whistle she whistled for the cameras, sparking a minor rebellion. She did something touching, and the other tribute felt for her. It was powerful and I am still crying.

        3. Yumi

          Well, she didn’t bury her– she couldn’t, really, because hovercrafts picked up the bodies. But she sang to her until she died and surrounded her with flowers.

        4. Regalli

          The flowers were equivalent to a burial – it delayed the pickup because they couldn’t take the body while Katniss was there and it gave her some ritual and ceremony in death that the Games routinely denied their victims. It was that affirmation of Rue’s humanity more than the alliance that mattered to the rest of the District (they also give Katniss a sponsor gift of bread that would’ve been very expensive and was meant for their kids – probably Rue before she died – and Katniss sees this and thanks them onscreen.)

          Also, still crying.

        5. Yumi

          This is all a very thorough explanation of the reference.

  31. fire_daws

    No! Not the bees!

    1. Needfuldoer

      What’s this? A wholesome dorm stairs fistfight over long-past events, woefully underpopulated by bees? A large influx of BEES ought to put a stop to that!

      1. 3-I

        Bees. My god.

  32. not someone else

    Is this the semi-realistic subversion of “two superheroes meet, duke it out, then become friends”?

    Probably not, but here’s to hoping it somehow leads to Amber seeing some kind of therapist? Sal definitely seems like she just made a breakthrough…

    1. Wizard

      When Ruth talked about “help[ing] you two get ahead of this”, I interpreted that to mean she intended to do a little more follow-through, not just cover up this one incident and tell them not to do it again.

      I’m in an unusually positive mood for me, so it’s possible, even probable, that I’m being over optimistic here. But, hey, a person can dream, right?

  33. kencineroar

    Ruth’s comment about spotlights reminds me of a similar comment made by Sal’s school about “not wanting to shine a spotlight” on what Leland did to Marcie. It’s interesting to see that word used again in this context when the fight was full of flashbacks to Sal’s backstory, and once again relates to covering up violence. Kind of builds into Ruth’s characterization that she’s protecting these girls.

  34. Marsh Maryrose

    Talk about callbacks, check out the last panel:

    “I have people who fight for me.”

  35. Synnerman

    Secret Identity? What’s that?

  36. Kyrik Michalowski

    There it is.

    And no, we are not all agreed. Especially considering Amber and Sal should be thanking Dorothy.

    1. Fart Captor

      Yeah, Amber is still too mad in the first panel, but by the last one both her and Sal seem to understand Dorothy just saved them from possibly getting kicked out of school

  37. abysswatcher1993

    Now we just need Dorothy dressed as Moriarty and Amber saying the angel speech from Sherlock.

  38. Koms

    Extracurriculars… does Ruth know they are beating up people at night? Because other than this, what extracurriculars does Sal have to hide?

    1. Keulen

      I can’t think of any actual extracurriculars that Sal and Amber do, so I’m assuming Ruth knows about them beating up people at night.

    2. BenRG

      I think that Ruth is just using ‘extracurriculars’ as a generic term to signal her total lack of interest in what Amber and Sal are doing outside of their schoolwork.

    3. Kamino Neko

      They were just beating the shit out of each other over what they both claim is a long-standing beef. Sounds like ‘extracurriculars’ to me.

    4. Steve C

      *shrugs* There’s Sal’s fling with Jason, but (1) I highly doubt Ruth could know about that, and (2) I doubt she would think that was worth threatening Sal with even if she did. It’s not too much of a stretch to think that Dorothy would know about Sal and Amazi-Girl “teaming up” since the three of them worked together to expose Ryan. If Dorothy DID tell Ruth Amber’s secret (which I’m still not convinced of), she may have told Ruth other things as well.

      1. Koms

        Yes.. it seems incongruous that Dorothy would tell Ruth about Amber being Amazigirl. You guys are right. She means whatever beef you have by extracurriculars.

  39. Bagge

    Wow! Point Ruth and Dorothy.

    1. King Daniel

      10 points to Gryffindorothy.

      1. King Daniel

        And 10 points to…Ruthenclaw?

        1. Keulen

          10 points from Salytherin? And also 10 points from Hamberufflepuff?

        2. TGS

          +1 interwebz

  40. kay

    Is this where she admits she’s dating Walky? And starts a whole new problem?

  41. ValdVin

    When Sal gets over the shock, she might be almost happy an RA is backing off. Ruth’s “Lessick-faire” approach is great here.

    1. BBCC

      I’m still laughing at ‘You go to your rooms!’ Seriously, all she’s missing there is the ‘young ladies’ at the end.

  42. Peregrinus

    I got in a donnybrook my first week of college with a rich frat boy who just walked up to me, grabbed me, breathed cheap beer in my face, and called me an unpleasant term relating to historically combustible homosexuals. Didn’t know him from the King of Babylon. I pointed out, reasonably, I thought, that his mother knew I wasn’t gay, and asked him to bring me my change from the night before when he saw her.

    Anyway, he ended up choked out with a broken wrist, and I got expelled. Rightfully. I should have at least tried to de-escalate. Learn from my fail. I eventually went to another school after a stint in the Army, on to grad school and law school, and have had a pretty solid career with, gratefully, a minimum of melee. Moral? Don’t be a nimrod, even when someone is being a nimrod to you. The world has enough nimrods.

    1. Moon

      Story appreciated. I see how it would have been preferable for your long-term future to de-escalate. Still, kind of glad you kicked his ass.

      1. Peregrinus

        Thanks. Well, I don’t suppose it taught him a thing. I met him again 15 years later, an “Executive Vice President” in his daddy’s business, and he was still an obnoxious bullethead. He asked me for legal advice regarding his ugly divorce. But he didn’t lay his hands on me when I told him that being a prosecutor, I couldn’t hand out free law candy, so there’s that.

  43. Ainara

    It’s not too late for someone to get dumped. Quick, someone get together then break up!

    1. Zee

      Ay yo Walky we get over here we got something to tell you

  44. Rabid Rabbit

    I also love the fact that Ruth says she’s going to lie “at Chloe,” not “to Chloe.” It’s understated, but it’s a nice encapsulation of how little respect she has for her.

    1. Kris

      Well from what little I’ve seen of Chloe she might be worse at her job than Ruth is so I can’t blame Ruth for not holding a high opinion of her.

      1. Regalli

        Yeah, there were like five different ‘REALLY?!’ moments in Chloe’s big scene, and Ruth wouldn’t have been able to get as depressed, alcoholic, and violent if Chloe had been doing regular checkins on how Ruth was running that ‘tight ship’ and how she was faring as an RA.

      2. BBCC

        “Hey, Cloe, it was some dumb martial arts thing that got out of hand, everybody’s fine, I grounded them both and sent them to their rooms, so we’re good.”

        “Okay.”

        1. Rabid Rabbit

          “Sir will be glad you’re establishing proper discipline.”

        2. BBCC

          “….I take it back, you two aren’t grounded anymore, carry on killing each other.”

        3. Kris

          The fact that it’s plausible Chloe would believe that says it all.

        4. BBCC

          I mean, it’s half true. Seriously, Ruth just pretty much sent them to their rooms. 😛

  45. BenRG

    Panel 4 suggests to me that Amber and Sal are united in their inability to work out what the heck is going on in their lives right now.

  46. Sporky

    This is a weird thing to point out, but the serifed I in this font always looks like it’s kinda trying to be italic but doesn’t quite get there, and it’s been bugging me for ages.

  47. BarerMender

    “It’s OK, Chloe. They weren’t fighting. They’re martial artists and they were exchanging techniques.”
    “What? Silent little Amber is a martial artist?”
    “Oh, yeah. Moves like oil on ice.”
    Nah. Bad idea. Don’t want Chloe to think of Amazi-Girl.

    1. BarerMender

      This wasn’t supposed to be a reply.

  48. BarerMender

    I have to say, I love these people so much. All of them. Well, not Danny.

    1. Ainara

      But… but he’s such a good egg…

  49. Remmington Steele

    Over-enthusiastic parkour session?

  50. ischemgeek

    I feel bad that this is probably the first time Sal had any authority figure ever give her the benefit of the doubt at all ever.

    1. Moonness

      Yeah exactly. Look how surprised she is.

      1. ValdVin

        You, too, can learn the secrets of when juuust barely caring while in authority pays off for all involved, in the new TED talk, “RA the Ruth Lessick way”.

  51. Guest42

    “You saved my life. I owe you.

    ..you still could have waited till my ex had time to so much as shower before getting in there.

    I know, I know what you’re thinking.

    Which ex?”

    1. Rabid Rabbit

      “No, seriously. You’ve been close to him, you’ve got to know it’s always a good idea to let him shower first. You can take the whole Garbage Roof thing too far, you know. Call yourselves garbage, but don’t cosplay as it. For all our nostrils’ sakes. Please.”

      (Okay, that got a bit weirder than I expected.)

  52. Jago

    Who’s ‘we’ and ‘everybody’, exactly and are they supposed to be the same people?
    Because count me out.

    1. Sam

      Count me out too.

  53. newllend(henryvolt)

    Oh wait Stage Play! They were method acting a dance fight scene for a stage play.

  54. Jake'm

    Why?

  55. Vulcanodon

    Ruth: (looking disgusted, rolling eyes) “I don’t know, it was some dumb role-playing something or other from a kung-fu movie and it got out of hand. I sent ’em back to their rooms and I’ll follow up in the morning to see if there’s any actual problem or if they were just being idiots.”
    Chloe: (affecting her usual avoidance of paperwork) “Ok, fine, just keep me posted.”

  56. wakeangel2001

    Any chance that we can use the gentleman’s duel rules? Well in this case ladies, but still this was a duel for honor! Now their honor is satisfied so they have no reason for further violence…right?

  57. woobie

    Oasis are the poster boys for letting your assholery derail your talent.

  58. FacelessDeviant

    NOT THE BEES!

  59. stoodmuffin

    Well, this entanglement is more entangled than I had. Recently put together.

  60. Bicycle Bill

    Chloe is the Head Resident / Residence Manager / ‘house mother’ / whatever, right?  Shouldn’t she have a listing in the Walkypedia by now?  I’d create one myself if I knew how but I don’t, so one of you other tech wizards out there will have to do it.

  61. Jhon

    Security camera footage… does not exist if it gets in the way of the plot.
    8-(

    1. Yumi

      It also doesn’t exist if no one was actively watching it at the time and there’s no need to review it. They also might have been far enough from the dorm entrance not to be in the shot for at least most of the fight. Way higher density of security camera’s in high schools than in colleges, in my experience.

    2. BBCC

      It’s also possible that, even if they’re on camera, they’ll accept Ruth settled it. It’s a big university, they have bigger problems.

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