243

Destruction
Posted on December 31, 2023 by David M Willis

243 thoughts on “Destruction”

  1. Ana Chronistic

    “Well, then, Asher… you can start with completely DESTROYING my anus”

    *Asher bursts into flames*

    1. Ana Chronistic

      hahah watching the ball(s) drop tonight?

      1. David DeLaney

        should aaauld ac-quain-tance beee for-got

        1. David DeLaney

          JINXED BY THE HOVERTEXT auuuugggh

          –Dave, damnyouWillis and your perfect six-month foresight. …hope you liked the sacrificial football game Pop Tart!

    2. Bo

      why dont you destroy *this* lil guy’s self’s bootyhole? *asher bursts into double-flames*

    3. Proxiehunter

      I think you’re backwards on who’s anus is getting destroyed in Darth Ethan’s plans.

      1. lyzyrdwyzyrd

        Power bottoms are a thing.

        Also I hope nobody gets their anus DESTROYED. That would be an unsexy hospital visit.

        1. Decidedly Orthogonal

          It is most certainly a euphemism.

    4. clif

      Don’t mind me. I’m just here to see if anyone is going to make an eve of destruction joke.

  2. Doctor_Who

    I know he’s very good looking, but I never would have taken Ethan as someone with Seduction Game.

    1. Dante

      I mean. He did fuck a ton of the dude-loving dudes in his dorm floor. There was already a Something About Ethan established.

      Before he was channeling Mike this hardcore, I mean.

      1. David DeLaney

        he’s certainly channeling hardcore Mike HAIR here

      2. jeffepp

        Wait, did Mike do the “Remember” thing Spock did to McCoy? Because that would explain a lot.

        1. Dante

          The popular theory is that the entire cast is carrying bits and pieces of Mike’s katra.

          Ethan, specifically, has inherited the nihilistic “what are you waiting for? Take your prize” corruption powers of hotness.

        2. saltchocolate

          I didn’t know about this theory, but I completely buy it. Mike-ness has been dispersed among the friend group like dandelion seeds.

          Also, I can’t decide if the hovertext is one night too early or perfect or both.

        3. Decidedly Orthogonal

          “like dandelion seeds”

          How appropriate that Mike jizzed his essence amongst the DoA crew. And their moms. For a nickel. ⚪

        4. Rose by Any Other Name

          Best. Theory. Ever.
          Love me a good original Star Trek reference.

    2. Thag Simmons

      He was apparently getting mad game before everything went to shit, so I guess had to have picked up at least a few tricks

      1. David DeLaney

        or the other way around

      2. Decidedly Orthogonal

        Tricks? I suppose he could be prostituting himself, but that seems a bit over the top. Then again, losing a lover hits people in different ways.

        1. David DeLaney

          in gay subculture a ‘trick’ leans more towards being a one-night stand than a money-changes hands. but okay fair

    3. GholaHalleck

      He’s got the touch. He’s got the poweer….

      1. Doctor_Who

        See, now that’s the sort of seduction technique that would WORK on Ethan.

      2. Opus the Poet

        I wish I could link to the music video here, but it’s NSFW.

    4. Needfuldoer

      It’s amazing what someone’s capable of when they’ve stopped caring about consequences.

  3. Bootshivers

    PHEW

  4. Dante

    ETHAN HOLY SHIT.

    This shouldn’t be so hot.

    1. Insanenoodlyguy

      Honestly, wraped around for me. He so honestly craves this because it’s a bad decision that it’s no longer “it’s hot cause it’s wrong” it’s become just an obviously unattractive bad idea. He’d have talked me out of it.

      1. Dante

        I mean. IRL? Sure, I don’t do this kind of thing (anymore). I still enjoy the hell out of it in fiction |DDD

      2. lyzyrdwyzyrd

        Honestly, were I Asher I’d think that Ethan’s capacity to consent is compromised due to mental health episode and/or drugs. I’d probably try to help him, not do him.

        1. Mark

          +1

        2. DashWallkick

          The brain says this, but the rest of the body isn’t really listening right now when someone tall and hunky and emaciated and fatalistic looks you in the eye and speaks poetry about “building from ashes.”

    2. anon

      gotta love temptation/seduction to the darker side

      1. Dante

        Ethan’s Corruption Arc is at the point he’s now corrupting a dude who’d very dearly wanted to do better, and it’s wicked delicious to watch.

        1. David DeLaney

          always there are two

          –Dave, because with one it’s just jerkin’ off

        2. Dante

          WELP. AFAIK, Ethan is still jerking off (and probs so is Asher.)

          Once the corruption works, then you’ve got two :3c

  5. Thag Simmons

    Make! Bad! Decisions!

    1. Dante

      I’m manifesting this. It’s the only thing I’m manifesting for 2024 skdjghs

      LOOK AT ASHER. HE’S SELF-COMBUSTING.

  6. HueSatLight

    Is Ethan a wizard?

    1. NGPZ

      He’s a gay dark magician.

      1. HueSatLight

        he just did name magic in the middle of summoning a sex phoenix.

      2. Taffy

        That’s a tautology.

    2. Mr D phone posting

      A 30 year old virgin?

      1. Dante

        That was Walkyverse Ethan.

        Dumbiverse Ethan is… Something else. Oh boy.

    3. Proxiehunter

      Sith Lord. He’s about to tell Ethan the tale of Darth Plageus the Wise.

      1. StClair

        “Is the Dark Side stronger?”

        “No, no, no. Quicker, easier, more seductive.”

        1. lyzyrdwyzyrd

          “I’m the Dark side Asher. That’s what I’m getting at.”

    4. Mark

      He didn’t say the password. Foo! he is nothing but a charlatan.

  7. Alongcameaspider

    I know this is bad and will likely lead to a lot of pain for everyone involved and a few people not involved

    But god damn is it hot

    1. Yumi

      To once again quote Nick Miller from New Girl, “I know this isn’t gonna end well, but the whole middle part is going to be awesome.”

      1. ktbear

        Sounds like my whole life right there.

  8. DailyBrad

    “A vampire.”

    Wait, wrong one.

  9. newlland(Henryvolt)

    Fuck it, if we’re going to go this far they might as well have Jennifer sit in a chair in a corner and have her watch as they go at it…especially since Jennifer is daring him to do it.

    1. Doctor_Who

      For some reason I’m picturing Jennifer spending most of the session on her phone, looking at better gay porn, and occasionally glancing up to criticize Asher on his technique.

      Amber on the other hand is outside with with a cup against the door, a nosebleed, and she’s feverishly taking notes for her next fic.

      1. newlland(Henryvolt)

        Loving it, loving it.

      2. Miri

        For added irony, by “better porn” Jennifer is actually referring to Amber’s earlier works, when her grasp on what is and isn’t humanly possible or, necessarily, desirable, was slightly shaky because for reference she was solely using her imagination, and had about as much experience of MM sex as most 12, 13 year old girls…

      3. Needfuldoer

        She’ll mentally replace Ethan with Kit Fisto.

        Then she’ll also mentally replace Asher with Kit Fisto.

    2. Proxiehunter

      She’s probably down for that.

  10. Suet

    It’s hard craving destruction when Asher isn’t the same as Ruth— hey where is she anyway

    “What’s your name today“? “Yours.”

    1. Dante

      … I’m going to steal this line for some dialogue or something. Oh my god. A+++ the only thing better than this would be Willis making it happen oh my godddd

    2. StClair

      Nice.

    3. anon

      idk how serious ruth and jason are together but i wonder if we’ll cut to them at some point and showing some of their issues, b/c while not as heated as asher and jen are being, i don’t expect that to last either.

  11. RassilonTDavros

    Starting to think thd characters in this strip get exponentially hotter the more fucked up they become

    1. newlland(Henryvolt)

      That is twisted…but it’s also a good way to pitch a story on the cast alone.

    2. anon

      ppl with flaws/imperfections are hotter 8D;

      1. PirateTawnee

        It is, sadly, not a linear relationship.

  12. David DeLaney

    *sit on Walky in a chair in

    –Dave, or a chain, thanks fingers

  13. Dday

    Shit i gotta start writing this down

  14. NGPZ

    How about another game, if it ain’t too early?

    1. If you could go by another name, what would it be?

    2. Any plans for New Years?

    3. What music do you like to listen to when you’re depressed?

    1. Dante

      1- Well, technically Dante isn’t my IRL name. But IDK, I might try it for size and see how it feels? ~Just Enby Things~

      2- Sadly no, but I might pull my family into stay-at-home shenanigans. I refuse to be bored.

      3- I have a Very Depression Playlist I don’t play because when I do it means it’s time to get help. For Regular Depression, Radiohead.

      1. Queen Anthai

        …I kinda want to hear the Very Depression Playlist to compare it to my own.

        1. Dante

          I only request not to be judged |’DD I do have a really broad taste in music (I mean it), but this is kind of. IDK, typical I guess? I hope not tho.

          https://open.spotify.com/playlist/6RxeUtQyRYWOtMOXCIcbVz?si=40fec36d74474e61

          It also had “Asleep” by The Smiths but I had to take it out. THAT song put me in a place worse than all the other Very Depression songs, imagine.

        2. Bogeywoman

          Fucking great taste. Also I’m there with you on Sleep. I have playlists number 1-10 so when I have therapy and have to scale how I’m going I use the number of the playlist that fits my mood. Sleep is the only song on rock bottom 1. If I start listening to it on repeat it’s time to go to hospital.

          But your playlist is raaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaAAAAAAAAAAAADDDDDD

        3. Dante

          Huh. Your therapist had a good idea there, quantifying the Depression Playlists 1-10 just to have, jknow. Baseline days, and bad days, and the “hey today is going nicer???” (always nice to get those…)

          But OOOF, I feel you so hard, seriously, Morrissey starts it with a plain
          Sing me to sleep [x2]
          I don’t want to wake up
          On my own anymore
          Sing to me
          Sing to me
          I don’t want to wake up
          On my own anymore

          And then you’ve got all the ~Don’t feel bad for me~
          I want you to know
          Deep in the cell of my heart
          I really want to go

          And the insistence “there’s another, better world so… Bye”? Yeah, nope, my brain went like “I can’t let you play this one to us.” It’s too blatant, seek subtler suicide songs please and thank you,

        4. Dante

          FFFFFFFFFFFFFF. I apologize for that comment!!! It was 3:35 and I didn’t remember making it until I read it now, but that’s for context, not an excuse :(( I had been preparing for bed, meds and all, and I put on the song because… It had been a while, I guess? And I sleep with music on. I don’t know when did I come back here to ramble but it feels like that was out of line :((( Wish I could delete it.

          I’m sorry. Didn’t even thank you for the compliment either…

        5. Dante

          May I see yours? :33

    2. Kyrik Michalowski

      Never too early for a game.

      1)Same first and last name, but my middle name would be “Ryu.”
      2)Eat unhealthy foods, and watch YouTube videos or play an RPG.
      3)I listen to upbeat video game music; like the Chocobo theme, or the Mario Bros 1st level music.

    3. Jamie

      1. This is the internet. I go by lots of names. Some of them deliberately gender-nonspecific. So, “Jamie”.

      2. There’s a two-part Tollywood movie I’ve been meaning to get around to.

      3. These days I focus on chill music because it makes me chiller. Previously, the answer was, “The Wake of Magellan” by Savatage.

    4. Dara

      1. I, like many others from the internet, go by a lot of names. I think more people should do that. Names can be context dependent and that’s okay.

      2. No plans for New Year’s, sadly. One of the things I really dislike most about having to move north from Seattle (because it’s where I could afford to buy) is that I can’t walk to the Space Needle fireworks anymore.

      3. I don’t really have a depression playlist. Once upon a time tho’ it was … I don’t remember any specifics, but it was all the most depressed downbeat I’d have. I think the function was to bounce off of it, like same-charged particles repelling each other. Perhaps surprisingly, I think it used to work.

    5. HueSatLight

      I’m doing it right now, my name isn’t Hue in the real world.
      I’ve gone by other names a lot, even in person. The meatworld ones have never been a gender thing, so I’m sure my experiences aren’t quite the same as that. I went by my last name for a long time, and I forgot I didn’t have a last-name first-name.

      1. HueSatLight

        In high school, during parent teacher conferences, one of my teachers told my parents she didn’t have their kid in her class. Because halfway though the first day of freshman year, I started telling teachers to call me Henry when they did first attendance, asking for preferred nicknames. Two of them called me Henry all four years.

    6. Miri

      1. Not particularly fussed. I went by my middle name until I was in my mid-teens when I decided not using a first name was a bit odd and might cause confusion with coursework and exams. As my friends adjusted and tried to remember, one of them said at one point that she was going to call me Bob instead because it would be easier to remember. I was OK with that… Biggest driver to update name everywhere after getting married was having a kiddy (about 4 years later). Still have at least one bank account, work, my phone contract, eBay, and probably a few other places to update (eldest is 9 now). This caused less problems when buying a house than selling one (had never updated it with the land registry etc…) but still not enough to really make me feel like I did a bad. A name is mainly a label so all parties involved in a conversation know who is referenced, so long as they’re
      being respectful, and I am clearly indicated, eh, basically.

      2. 5:30 AM(approx.) involved being summonsed by very unhappy noises to my youngest who’d woken himself up vomming on himself. I was already awake c/o my middle one who’d had a bad dream and then her duvet was escaping its cover, and was hoping for more sleep… NYE will be fun (It’s just been the once so far, so hopefully he’s OK…)

      3. Probably something from MSP The Holy Bible, or maybe Radiohead’s Creep, but the fun thing about getting chronic migraines and struggling when I have tonnes of different sensory inputs is that it makes it much harder to enjoy music, to the point that my eldest was genuinely surprised the other night when we were chatting and I mentioned that I do actually like the stuff sometimes.

      1. Miri

        He has just sat up to inform me that he wants biscuits and pancakes for his birthday breakfast (in a few months, but one of his sisters just had *hers* so it must be almost his, right?) – so probably isn’t feeling too bad lol!

    7. twig

      1) I sometimes go by Twig irl. Twig and my given name both feel more or less equally like my name at this point. Any other username I have that doesn’t contain “Twig” I would also be fine being called by abbreviations of.

      2) Other than the usual “make some noise with family at midnight” and “attempt to spend more actual quality time with family on New Year’s Day”? Nothing in particular.

      3) Jubyphonic’s english cover of Error by niki. Also her acoustic english cover of Say It by Yorushika. Really kind of a bunch of angstier Jubyphonic covers, Rachie too, those two that I mentioned are kind of the main ones though. A bunch of Bo Burnham’s angstiest stuff. A bunch of Sara Kays. Some Cavetown. A bunch of Taylor Swift mostly from Folklore and Evermore but plenty off other albums too, just as long as it’s sad. The entirety of Mammalian Sighing Reflex. Shower Day and Elsa’s Song by The Amazing Devil. Coming Home and Awakening by Oh Geeez. Sometimes pretty much any other angsty fansong for any media I’m into that has fansongs, DSMP makes up a good chunk of that. Invisible from Beetlejuice. She Used To Be Mine from Waitress. Go Tonight from The Mad Ones. Occasionally just any angsty song from any media I like that contains songs. You Don’t Know by Katelyn Tarver. Christmas Pageant by Amanda Fagan. Youth by Daughter. Fallen Kingdom by Captainsparklez. Feel Better by Penelope Scott. No Children by The Mountain Goats. Streets of Gold by Aviators. Enough by Scratch21. Kills Me Just The Same by Cimorelli. End of a Life by Calliope Mori. I’ve probably been going at this one too long. I can keep going awhile longer.

      1. NGPZ

        Please do, I need to drown myself in this stuff, probably. All i got while i need to stay sober T_T

    8. Bogeywoman

      1. If I chose a new (third) name it’d be Thorne and my signature would be the rune
      2. Sleep. Possibly attend the local community radio stations top 100 countdown on NYD (I vollie for 4zzz and have been going pretty much every year for a decade except for COVID reasons)
      3. I binge listen to Crywank (who makes music that sounds like it’s by someone named Crywank) or one of my depressy playlists

    9. lyzyrdwyzyrd

      1. According to my psychosis — my name is Rex, not Jeremiah. But for real probably something more generic like Frank or something. I hate having to spell my name all the time m
      2. Drinking sparkling grape juice with my partner. Relaxing.
      3. Uh.. I don’t have a specific playlist but I listen to songs about death. Fade to Black, Oh Death, etc. Probably not the healthiest.

    10. PirateTawnee

      1. I’ve been through a few names, online and off, one that I’ve liked in passing but never attempted to use anywhere is Harriet.

      2. None whatsoever, I don’t even know if I’ll be awake at midnight.

      3. Technically, every music I like to listen to is music I like to listen to when I’m depressed, but as I’m not currently doing anything about that, then the go to for when it’s “lie in a dark room for as long as whatever this is takes to pass” time, it is nearly always The Sundays, mostly “24 Hours”, “Goodbye”, and “Life Goes On”.

    11. Mark

      1. OK, I tried, but I can’t imagine myself with another name.
      2. Not really. At my age, staying up until midnight is achievement enough.
      3. Baroque. It’s just the right kind of complexity to take me out of myself and engage again. It’s abstract enough that it doesn’t feed my mood.

      1. Mark

        Ah, I read some more of this thread. If you want feel-bad songs, I thought of “Yellow Cat” by John Denver; “Empty Chairs”, “Vincent” and (I think) “Crossroads” by Don McLean (really most of the stuff on American Pie would serve); and “Alone Again (Naturally)” by Gilbert o’Sullivan (but that’s pretty strong medicine).

        I tend to avoid such material when I’m seriously down but, whatever works for you.

    12. zee

      1. I’d much rather go by zee IRL than my real name, but I get anxious introducing myselr. I’ve always wanted to use my middle name too but it feels too awkward to try it suddenly.

      2. Not much, eat whatever my mom bakes tonight then watch the fireworks from the city amd other houses on the balcony. Used to be lava cake but she hasn’t done that for a few years, miss it a lot.

      3. Depends, if I want something to match my mood then lately it’s system of a down. Used to be twenty one pilots but I’m not in highschool anymore. If I wanna feel something I go for certified serotonin hitters like the hypest Area 21 songs (pogo, spaceships, we did it), yoadobi idol, This specific music sounds better with you x fake id mashup (god i hope that works). If its the understimmulated kinda depression i might throw on some 100 gecks or maybe fake type for maximum brain scratchage

  15. Azu

    Ethan channeling his depression into a lance of horny energy that could pierce (hah) the heavens.

    This will end so, so badly. But I think it’s important that they try.

    1. anon

      i mean ethan seems to be proposing a fling /maybe one night stand as opposed to just being fuckbuddies for an extended period in front of jen, but it leading to jennifer ending things prolly would be for the best

  16. Hoboturtle

    Are you still with her? She literally just admitted that she wouldn’t call you her boyfriend.

  17. Kyrik Michalowski

    On the one hand, Asher is kind of a dirtbag; on the other hand, the slipshine would be fantastic.

    What’s a conscientious non-dirtbag liker to do?

    1. Mym

      I mean, Ethan isn’t exactly speaking like someone free of sin, here. What’s more dirt-baggy than getting someone to cheat?

      1. Vanessa

        She just dumped him twice. What else does he need to hear.

        1. Mym

          “My situation’s still unchanged” would imply that Asher doesn’t see it that way

      2. HueSatLight

        being the person who has made the commitment to be monogamous and then breaking that commitment is so much more dirt-baggy than being the third party who invites them to have sex.

        And Jennifer is sending mixed signals, at best, about if she expects that commitment.

        1. Needfuldoer

          She’s playing some kind of high school mean girl power move game. Being vague keeps her in control, because any given outcome could be him “misinterpreting” her.

        2. Mym

          Yes, absolutely, I only wanted to point out Ethan is /also/ sucking here.

          The cheater always sucks the most, of course. Being a “Tempter/Temptress” is also a dick move. (Which I see is the point because Ethan is also being self destructive)

    2. Null Set

      Allow themselves to enjoy fictional stories of bad decisions.

  18. Nono

    Remember at the start of the strip when Ethan was all ‘woe is me, a nerd like me is gonna die alone’

    1. Yumi

      Now he’s like, “We’re all going to die alone, let’s indulge ourselves in the meantime.”

      1. Jamie

        We might die alone, but it’ll be by the fire we start together.

  19. Bo

    uh oh, sisters, this emo nerd FUCKS :0

    1. Mym

      He’s Toby McGuire in Spiderman 3

      1. Taffy

        No, that character had a personality.

        1. Mym

          Yea, in the first two movies

        2. Taffy

          Whatever?

  20. Armadillo

    I don’t even like dudes and I’m getting thrown off by this. His game is just that strong.

  21. Sirksome

    I wish all gay relationships were this extra.

    1. anon

      in fiction it’s ok but this would be exhaausitng even as a young adult XD: then again i’m not rly into a hookup versus like holding hands and cuddlign even with platonic friends XD

  22. bejouled

    Fourth panel Ethan sounds like nonsense to me but it is nonsense that is apparently really working for Asher

    1. Miri

      Although if the plan is to create a new persona to burn down then I’m not sure if keeping his regular name is really the way to go…

      1. HueSatLight

        Ethan tailored his imagery for Asher’s name.

  23. Wraithy2773

    We’re outside the fucking 1980s Kremlin right now, what with all these red flags…

  24. sakamism

    Emo Ethan is way too powerful, they need to cheer him up before he steals everyone’s boyfriends

    1. newlland(Henryvolt)

      Well it’s not like he’s going to saduce Danny just to ruin his relationship with Sal and Spite him….or is he?

    2. anon

      take him to a transformers event and hookup with other fellow nerds lol

  25. Dara

    “No. Your real name.”

    “…Red-Nose.”

    1. Jamie

      Aw, but “Pyro” would fit weirdly well here.

      1. Needfuldoer

        “Murr hurr mphuphurrur, hurr mph phrr”?

    2. Dante

      kljglkdsj you’re a person of culture, clearly

  26. Moon

    everybody’s lips must be really chapped with how often they’re bitin them [PARODY][JOKE]

  27. Sirksome

    Is it weird that I kind of want their hair to fuck more than them? They’re so close it looks like their hair might merge into one glorious super hair, perfectly quaffed with amazing length and volume.

    1. BarerMender

      Coiffed?

      1. David DeLaney

        dang those homonyms

        –Dave, always invading our SCHOOLWORK and all

      2. Sirksome

        Yeah probably. Weirdly it didn’t get auto corrected so I guess “quaffed” is a real word. Googling it and apparently quaffed means to drink heavily in a gulp.

        1. PirateTawnee

          Quaffed is in my head as a medieval word used by gentry and commoner alike, for mead and ales and suchlike.

          Robert Baratheon from GoT would *never* drink if quaffing was an option.

        2. Leorale

          Quaffing: drinking mead or beer while spilling at least ⅓ of it.

        3. HueSatLight

          quaff is so there’s a keybind for using a potion when d means drop not drink.

  28. AY

    GOSH. gosh.

  29. Bryy

    …. ok so was Asher wearing the same clothes as Walky because he’s dependent on the approval of others?

  30. thumb

    Jesus, Ethan!

  31. Derek

    Now kiss

    1. saltchocolate

      I was ready / not ready for the return of this meme.

  32. Lightweight Baybee

    Oh ethan has been sitting on that one for ages, i bet his ass is so entirely smug that it’s working

    1. David DeLaney

      if he does it right his ass is gonna get _much_ smugger

      –Dave, i mean, if I had to describe the sensation, that’s certainly a word I could use

      1. David DeLaney

        also, noticing how Ethan is grasping the cube side just below Asher’s arm. both are into this, not just Asher

  33. Regalli

    … Holy SHIT, Emo Ethan, that went loaded fast.

    Anyway, this is gonna be a disaster.

    1. Bryy

      Ethan is trying so hard to be Mike. Whether to justify Mike to himself or to…. well, that.

      This is going to be bad. And glorious.

      Like Willy Wonka, I can’t turn away.

      1. StClair

        don’t, stop, come back

  34. MisterJinKC

    Man Ethan is really being a piece of shit lately. He used to be the most innocent character other than maybe Joyce, but now he’s just…shitty. How are so many people on here supporting someone actively trying to seduce a man who’s in a monogamous relationship, and keeps making it clear that he doesn’t want to be a cheater? If someone was doing this to your SO’s, you’d lose your minds.

    1. Miri

      I think they’re supporting him being hot and a sexually charged being, acknowledging the dumpster fire aspects, and basically viewing it through the lens of “these people are fictional, nobody is going to actually get burnt by this terrible behaviour, he has clearly decided the world is going to burn with him… This will make for an entertaining storyline even if, were these boys real, I’d be furious with both of them” with a plausible side of “and Jennifer DID good as dare him to do this… Really she should mainly only blame herself when she finds out about it.”

      Hopefully fewer people would tell a REAL ~19 year old with depression and addiction issues and absentee parents, who has stated that she destroys everything she touches, that they deserve to be cheated on because they were keeping their boyfriend at arms length, emotionally…

    2. k

      Idk, there was a lot of active discussion on the morality of it all when it was Joyce trying to seduce Jacob and break him up with Raidah.

      For me at least, I’m not here to read about characters making morally correct decisions. I’m here to be entertained. And emo-than actively pursuing Asher who so clearly wants to get with him but is struggling with trying to be the better person is entertaining af.

      1. Wraithy2773

        As someone who found Joyce/Jacob horrific-as-fuck and finds Asher/Ethan to be waving all of the red flags?

        I think the main difference is that Jennifer and Asher’s relationship is actively unhealthy. He wants more, she is refusing anything resembling emotional intimacy, it’s a trainwreck of a relationship. That Ethan and Asher are also destined for a trainwreck doesn’t really change that.

        But while everyone hates Raidah, Jacob and Raidah were at least fairly healthy together. There was some argument that Raidah was doing some social-ladder-climbing, but they were committed to each other, they were affectionate with each other, the only time they pushed each other away with it was for sensible “you gotta go study” reasons.

        Its a difference between breaking up a kinda-rocky-but-affectionate relationship versus breaking up a trainwreck-in-the-making relationship.

        Still think Asher should just dumb Jennifer before he hooks up with Ethan, just on moral principles, but I’m hardly going to mourn Jennifer/Asher here.

      2. Bryy

        Asher is a Venn with both Jennifer and Raidah inside. This is going to be difficult for Raidah to navigate.

      3. MisterJinKC

        I agree, but one gigantic difference for me is that Joyce was naive enough to think about the relationship as a long term thing. She also wasn’t being as blatant about it as Ethan is. Joyce was essentially processing a crush fantasy. Ethan is clearly doesn’t care about how his actions would hurt Asher or Billie. He’s being a pure narcissist who doesn’t care who gets hurt as lo g as he gets what he wants.

    3. Proxiehunter

      Not sure why he’s acting like he’s in a monogamous relationship when he’s been told both to fuck however many dudes he wants and that he’s not in a relationship by Jenifer. Or why a segment of the comment section agrees with him despite everything Jenifer’s said and done to show otherwise.

      1. Mym

        One: she said “Kiss a billion dudes” not “go fuck them”
        Two: she said it in response to what she thought was an attempt to make her jealous
        That’s not explicit consent, even a little bit

      2. Vanessa

        Agreed. She broke up with him twice and he’s still following her around like a puppy dog. While she keeps kicking him. I’m not sure what’s going on with Asher and the mob, but he really needs to get away from Jennifer.

        1. Mym

          I agree that he needs to get tf away from her: By breaking up with her properly

    4. TulipKitten

      I mean, totally. If it were real life, I would be like “STOP.”

      But come on, you gotta admit, you’ve been there once in your life where the person you’re with doesn’t even give you the time of day, and then suddenly NEW TEMPTATION ARRIVES and your body wants to but your brain is like NO. The mature thing to do is obviously dump them but that would make for a very boring storyline.

      Also come on it’s reeeeeeeeally tempting. Let the people have their college student romance novel to live vicariously through. LET THE DRAMA BEGIN!!!!!!!!!

    5. Derek

      mostly because Billie is horrible to her partners and everyone agrees that Asher will be better off fucking Ethan instead of her.
      Also recent comics have muddled the “monogamous” issue, since she seems to be actively pushing him away and recently implied he’s not her boyfriend.

    6. Li

      We’re not “supporting” anyone doing anything lol, we’re not characters in the comic and Ethan can’t hear us if we encourage him. Also he’s not real, no one in this comic is real, there are no actual consequences for our encouragement.

      Like. It’s fine. No amount of “yaaaaas Ethan go boy” is expressing approval for real-life cheating.

    7. thejeff

      I’ve got no problem with the “they’re characters in a comic and it looks like it’ll be a hot and entertaining dumpster fire” angle, but it is weird that it’s so dominant in a comment section where we routinely treat characters as monsters for trivial or even invented flaws.

      1. Li

        Yeah but that group was firmly in the camp of Jennifer being an abusive girlfriend the other day, and most of them don’t have strong opinions on Asher or Ethan atm. Characters gotta show up and do things to be monsterfied!

        Besides, it’s also NYE weekend, so we’re probably missing a good chunk of the readership.

    8. Tan

      Allow me to explain the appeal in one image. SFW.

      https://i.pinimg.com/originals/b4/47/fc/b447fc9dcb432653229f132e2c289522.jpg

  35. drs

    If you’re wondering how much Ethan and J ever interacted on screen, the answer is “very little”

    https://www.dumbingofage.com/tag/ethan+jennifer/

    An early strip or two of Billie making eyes at Ethan, Joyce’s boyfriend at the time

    Being in the same room during the party where Dina and Becky met.

    That’s about it.

  36. Esolo

    Ethan, what the fuck.

    1. anon

      well, technically tehy already kiss, at least he’s waiting today as opposed to just grabbing him and making out

  37. Corlanthis

    Holy shit, we are clearly witnessing Ethan’s spiral into full blown Mind-Fuck Supervillain and I AM HERE FOR IT.

  38. JessWitt

    Ethan must have had that “cinders” line in his backpocket since he met Asher.

  39. yak

    Damn Ethan has the “hot sadboi” routine down pat

  40. BBCC

    Well, shit, Ethan certainly has Jennifer’s number, doesn’t he?

    1. Bryy

      Ethan has his own number.

      1. David DeLaney

        and it is currently six hundred three score and … oh, y’all know that already?

  41. trainer

    We had a ton of those chairs in Wright Quad. Guys would rearrange them into forts and mazes.

  42. C.T. Phipps

    Ethan, 10th Generation Toreador at work.

  43. OnyxIdol

    What is this, The Downfall of The House Of Asher??

  44. Juanoku

    That easy huh

  45. Renshear Blade

    Check!

  46. Tan

    Look, is this gonna be ‘a healthy relationship’ for either of them? No, clearly not.

    But Ethan is already in self-destructive mode, and Asher is already in a toxic relationship, so like… It’s not WORSE, and it’s FUCKING HOT, so.

    Ladies and gentlemen, I rest my case.

  47. a/snow/mous/e

    should auld acquaintance be forgot? in this case yes i support this give me my gay dreams :3

  48. Zaxares

    This is gonna be a train-wreck… But I’d be lying if I didn’t admit it’s gonna be a GLORIOUS train-wreck. XD

  49. Thomas

    I do not understand the supposed appeal of Zombie Ethan. Then again, Jennifer is attractive but not very nice. Asher is not such a bad boy when it comes to being assertive in romantic pairings, it seems.

    1. David DeLaney

      is not xom-bee. iz Wamphyre

  50. Wereg

    Depression-era Ethan has some ABSURD, if a bit cliche, game.

  51. Taffy

    Hey fucknips, you don’t have to endorse this behavior IRL to enjoy it in a comic. Don’t be fucking stupid.

    1. DarkoNeko

      Ah, I see you’ve been reading comments too much *pat pat*

    2. Daibhid C

      Do you have to endorse it IRL to say “This is going to be really healthy for both of them somehow, and that’s why I’m in favour of it”? Asking for half of yesterday’s comment section.

      1. Daibhid C

        Personally, I kind of hate watching fictional characters make horrible self-destructive decisions, which I guess raises the question of why I’m even here.

      2. HueSatLight

        happy hogmany

        1. David DeLaney

          and a very happy Waltz Day to all!

          –Dave, only one in y’all’s lifetimes, so enjoy it

      3. Li

        I saw VERY few people saying anything close to that; the ones who were, I think, were mostly of the opinion that Ethan would have to be at least slightly better for Asher right now than Jennifer, and at least Asher would be going into this expecting a night of bad decisions instead of a loving long-term partner.

    3. Li

      Always a little bit amused by how rarely anyone with this mentality is at all consistent about it. We’re allowed to cheer when action heroes punch people out without being interrogated about how we’d like being punched in the face ourselves.

  52. Icalasari

    Somewhere, Amber is in the library watching this and writing down everything for her fanfics

    It doesn’t matter if she is on the opposite side of the campus, this would have teleported her in just to observe it

    1. NickG

      With her non-notetaking hand down her pants.

    2. Mark

      Wait: is that why all the security cameras are somehow pointing at the same spot?

  53. SvenTS

    Ah, shit, he’s gotten too much intro philosophy again. Get the spray bottle.

  54. foducool

    so damn smooth

  55. AlexaSpuds

    Not me watching this from the side rooting Ethan on knowing full well I regretted it after I did this multiple times ???

  56. Allison Branford

    Aah, now I’m scared Ethan threw out all his Transformers in a fit of self hatred. He’s got that vibe right now.

    1. DarkoNeko

      NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOoo

    2. NickG

      As of the second Patreon strip for July he was refusing to give Dina his Dinobots.

  57. Amós Batista

    Well, Ethan gained some flirting skill…

    1. Jeremiah

      He already has gotten them pre time skip, he managed to bang most guy loving guys from this campus IIRC.

  58. Carla's #2 Fan

    Totally off topic, but the wiki wasn’t helpful, what branch of Christianity is Carol Brown? Thanks in advance!

    1. AGV

      Evangelical, no?

    2. Needfuldoer

      Some sort of extremist, evangelical protestant.

    3. Hof1991

      American evangelical. Hard to explain the mix of racism, misogyny and proof texts that underlie it. For example, two Midwest states under evangelical governors just refused money to feed hungry kids during the summer. Can’t be feeding hungry children. Just ain’t right.

      1. Needfuldoer

        Somewhere, a bearded Middle-Eastern man flipped a table after hearing about that.

        1. David DeLaney

          it was in a certain toy store

          –Dave, so far not appearing in this strip. though he might turn up working at Galasso’s

      2. Mark

        “Following the teachings of Christ insofar as they are not inconsistent with a life of sin.” — Bierce

    4. Carla's #2 Fan

      I think I’m thinking of it being non-denominational. Looking back through some of the strips, Joyce said her family changed churches a lot.

    5. thejeff

      Technically Joyce has said “non-denominational”, so they’re not affiliated with any specific branch, but in practice that translates into fundamentalist Evangelical Protestant.

      1. Li

        This, plus Young Earth Creationist; I bet not all fundies believe in that.

  59. DarkoNeko

    Damn Ethan how are you so smooth

  60. Disastroid

    He wants to fuck him? Like an ANIMAL?

    1. David DeLaney

      do him doggy style
      so they can both watch X-Files

  61. Pocky

    Edgy Ethan really is the most gayngsty man on campus.

    It’s what Asher is lookin’ for tho; even if that pick up line would probably make me want to nope outta there like my hair was on fire. lol

  62. AGV

    Ethan came in hit with the heavy artillery.

    Imagine if Asher was like “Wait, give me a minute.”, breaks up with Jennifer right here and there and throws himself at Ethan.

  63. Rabisch

    Ethan… wow! He totally become a vampire. Able to charms and capture his prey… I’m afraid he’s totally right about Jennifer and I agree, they should give her what she wants, what they want. Go Asher! No regrets! He deserves to stay with someone that loves him, at least a bit.

    1. Needfuldoer

      The best way to get a contrarian riled up is to give them exactly what they say they want.

  64. Daibhid C

    Yeah, okay I see it in this one.

  65. Bruno

    I had a relationship like this once. Everything was this dramatic. Extremely toxic. Kind of miss it. One of the few interactions I had with someone back then that was in any way worthwhile.

  66. CianM1301

    Well, looks like 2024’s starting off with a bang.

    1. David DeLaney

      … sir/ma’am/both/neither

  67. Valerie

    Fourth panel is like something a fourteen-year-old MCR fan would have on their wall

  68. Dov

    Please please please pleeeease put this one in Pornographique.

  69. goggleman64

    Oh-ho-ho, what a *speech*!!

  70. RF

    “Billie craves destruction, we can give it to her.” is a line that goes so hard.

    1. StClair

      as hard as *cough*
      (but yes, it does)

  71. shrub

    Ethans learned how to seduce, good for him

  72. sdrainbow

    A man can both arrange the kidnapping of multiple teenagers, the assassination of an actual human being, AND be a sub.

  73. Vinter Nacht

    Whoa… WHOA… As a CISHet Male, even I got pants feelings from “Sometimes when we’re reduced to cinders, we create a new self to destroy. So what’s your name today?”

    1. Li

      FYI it’s cis not CIS; it’s not an acronym. Cis was chosen because it is Latin and means “this side of”, the antonym for trans which means “the other side of”. It absolutely does not stand for “comfortable in skin”, that’s just somewhat widely spread misinfo.

      1. DailyBrad

        Yeah I used to misunderstand that myself, but since learning the actual origin, it makes it even more ridiculous when cisgender people throw fits about it.

      2. StClair

        that’s the first I’ve heard of said misinfo, and it’s dumb.
        (by contrast, I first heard of “cis” years ago, in the context of “cislunar” et al, because I am a huge space nerd)

        1. Agemegos

          I first heard it in Ancient History class, in the name of the Roman province Cisalpine Gaul. Then it cropped up in systematic naming of aromatic compounds.

      3. davidbreslin101

        So it DOESN’T stand for “Commonwealth of Independant Systems”?!

      4. Tan

        It’s actually a recursive acronym for “CISgender Information Systems gender”. This is why they are happy to cissplain.

        (note: this is a joke)

        1. Needfuldoer

          Open source nerds love recursive acronyms.

  74. davidbreslin101

    I’m looking forwards to Billie Craves Destruction’s debut album.

  75. Mark

    Wow, nobody has commented on “we’re changing”? Ethan may not know it, but he’s not just messing with Asher’s relationship with Jennifer; that’s part of a larger personal transformation that is also on shaky ground.

  76. sception

    It’s funny that Ethan thinks he’s the bad boy in this pairing.

  77. Zamperla

    Ethans a terrible idea right now. But he’s a *hot* bad idea, so who’s to say.

    Also oh honey. Sweetie. “We’re changing” Asher I dunno if you picked the right relationship for personal growth. I mean. She is different then she’s been. No denying that. But I feel like. Asher seems to want to be a good person. with healthy relationships.

    Rough.

    1. anon

      I mean, as scummy as cheating is , what better time than to make mistakes /get it ‘out of your system’ than in college? Tho i mean ethan has had success with other brief flings so he could just move on from that too (like jacob being like “you didn’t break up, you got laid” or so when he said he was making out with that other transformers fan)

  78. Daniel M Ball

    Yeah, Ethan’s the Top.

  79. Needfuldoer

    Happy new year, everyone who follows the Gregorian calendar!

  80. Username Taken

    Ethan sounds like he’s spitting Emo Poetry by ChatGPT, but apparently Asher digs it!

  81. buddy

    “billie craves destruction” huh weird what gay twunks does that remind me of

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