I thought the Doctor meant Danny was a nut, as in a silly person. Was I too tame?
Doctor_Who
Yes, that’s what I meant.
I mean, I’m as corrupted as anyone on the internet, so I did try to come up with a bit where Danny asks Joe if he knows about whether Sal is allergic to nuts, but comes away with the impression that she’s only bothered by a brand called “Dee’s”, and so he tries to figure out if this type of peanut butter contains any and has a very confusing Abbot and Costello bit when he tries to call their helpline for info and gets yelled at, so he makes a turkey sandwich instead.
But yeah, simple is better when it comes to dumb jokes.
Decidedly Orthogonal
I can see the whole bit it in my head, and I’m laughing. Thank you.
You know, I’m honestly a bit sad that I _didn’t_ read it as dirty until I read your comment.
I blame the fact that I don’t think I have ever referred to male ejaculate as “nut” or related verbiage. I’ve heard others do so, but it never stuck with me.
Personally, if I’m going to use slang, I prefer “seed”.
StClair
As a euphemism, it’s after my time. “Nut” to me means the testicles, not their product.
thejeff
I’ve heard “nut” as a euphemism for ejaculating, but not for the product.
BarerMender
I like “jizz” as both the act and the substance. If I’m feeling formal, I go with “gyzym” for he substance. It’s an old word meaning “power.”
I feel like if you want to avoid allergens in food for other people, maybe don’t keep allergens in an adjacent sammich but idk, mine are fish allergies
alt-text: now I’m thinking about how we kept joking about I think it was Yakitate Ja-PAN where somebody was carrying around an unwrapped bread in their pocket and was all, “why don’t you try this bread?” and they did and were all like, “THIS IS GODLY BREAD OMG” and now pocket bread is a joke for us
That sounds nice. I have such a severe allergy that my poor boyfriend can’t eat peanut butter sandwiches if he intends to be anywhere near my mouth.
Zaxares
I actually remember one case where a woman got an allergic reaction from swallowing her boyfriend’s, um… “essence” after he’d eaten the allergen in question.
Decidedly Orthogonal
I think the word you’re looking for is semen.
[nsfw] Also known as cum, come, seed, ball-juice[1], baby-gravy, baby batter, penis pancake batter, cock snot[1], man yoghurt, and in some circles that don’t appreciate it, drek.
[1] These are misnomers. Snot is mucus produced in the sinus cavity and is not normally associated with sexual reproduction. Semen is neither mucus, nor produced in the balls (although one ingredient is). It is composed of sperm and seminal fluid. Sperm are produced in the balls, and then travel along the vass deferens to the prostate. In the prostate, sperm mix in with seminal fluid. Seminal Fluid is produced in the prostate and seminal vesicles. This mixture (semen) is what is expelled during male ejaculation (often due to a male climax).
Yes that’s correct, your balls don’t do anything special or notably different during sex with regards to sperm production. They don’t ‘pump out semen’, they don’t become swollen, and they don’t turn blue if you don’t come. If they hurt see a Doctor. If there’s a bump on them, or they *are* swollen, see a Doctor.
Decidedly Orthogonal
How could I forget jizz and jism? Thank you @BarerMender!
Also, does anyone have a recommendation for a good bread to pair with mozzarella and pepperoni? Yesterday’s sandwich discussion got me thinking about something, and any advice would be welcome.
Dang, so that’s one of em amphibious boats? Or is it like, a land-only boat?
Thag Simmons
Land-only, unfortunately. Used to be you’d have a horse in front, but recent technological developments have made that obsolete, which put a lot of horses out of work
Too short for a semi … more like what is called a ‘straight truck’ or a ‘box truck’, with the cab/engine/axles/cargo box all on a single frame unit … overall length about thirty feet or so as opposed to a semi tractor with a 53-foot trailer behind it.
This is so endearing and sweet and it makes me worry about what sort of absolute disaster is about to happen when we cut back to Joyce, Joe and the Clintons
Danny even prepared for a peanut allergy, good on him. Personally I’d have taken the turkey sandwich but either one works. Now, are they skipping their afternoon classes as well?
That’s kinda what I was driving at yesterday with the ‘offers Sal the less-mangled of the two’ … y’know, being galante and chivalrous and gentlemanly and thinking about others and what-all.
Don’t have any allergies myself, so my mind never went that route, but this works too.
The fact that girl pants don’t have as many options for pockets is downright despicable. Everyone has needs for pockets. I bet the pants designers and the purse makers are working together. It’s a conspiracy I tell you!
Wouldn’t shock me – my boyfriend was both shocked and outraged when he read the strip that mentioned girls don’t get real pockets.
He was also shocked when I told him a lot of girls keep snacks in their purses. LOOK, WE’VE BEEN DENIED POCKETS, WE HAVE TO KEEP OUR GOLDFISH CRACKERS AND GRANOLA BARS *SOMEWHERE*.
143 thoughts on “PBJ”
Doctor_Who
Danny, if she had a nut allergy, what would she be doing with you?
Ana Chronistic
snuggling, obvs
unless you meant the “clean” nut, idk how to read that joke (dirty/no)
Leorale
I thought the Doctor meant Danny was a nut, as in a silly person. Was I too tame?
Doctor_Who
Yes, that’s what I meant.
I mean, I’m as corrupted as anyone on the internet, so I did try to come up with a bit where Danny asks Joe if he knows about whether Sal is allergic to nuts, but comes away with the impression that she’s only bothered by a brand called “Dee’s”, and so he tries to figure out if this type of peanut butter contains any and has a very confusing Abbot and Costello bit when he tries to call their helpline for info and gets yelled at, so he makes a turkey sandwich instead.
But yeah, simple is better when it comes to dumb jokes.
Decidedly Orthogonal
I can see the whole bit it in my head, and I’m laughing. Thank you.
Rose by Any Other Name
You know, I’m honestly a bit sad that I _didn’t_ read it as dirty until I read your comment.
I blame the fact that I don’t think I have ever referred to male ejaculate as “nut” or related verbiage. I’ve heard others do so, but it never stuck with me.
Personally, if I’m going to use slang, I prefer “seed”.
StClair
As a euphemism, it’s after my time. “Nut” to me means the testicles, not their product.
thejeff
I’ve heard “nut” as a euphemism for ejaculating, but not for the product.
BarerMender
I like “jizz” as both the act and the substance. If I’m feeling formal, I go with “gyzym” for he substance. It’s an old word meaning “power.”
eh, whatever
That looks completely made-up.
Stanistani
It’s in the famous Ginsburg work HOWL.
Slartibeast Button, BIA
If she had a nut allergy, she could never have survived long in this school.
(Given all the crazy people.)
Ana Chronistic
I feel like if you want to avoid allergens in food for other people, maybe don’t keep allergens in an adjacent sammich but idk, mine are fish allergies
Ana Chronistic
alt-text: now I’m thinking about how we kept joking about I think it was Yakitate Ja-PAN where somebody was carrying around an unwrapped bread in their pocket and was all, “why don’t you try this bread?” and they did and were all like, “THIS IS GODLY BREAD OMG” and now pocket bread is a joke for us
BBCC
Depends how sensitive the allergy is, but with them wrapped separately, most people would be okay.
Ohmsford
That sounds nice. I have such a severe allergy that my poor boyfriend can’t eat peanut butter sandwiches if he intends to be anywhere near my mouth.
Zaxares
I actually remember one case where a woman got an allergic reaction from swallowing her boyfriend’s, um… “essence” after he’d eaten the allergen in question.
Decidedly Orthogonal
I think the word you’re looking for is semen.
[nsfw] Also known as cum, come, seed, ball-juice[1], baby-gravy, baby batter, penis pancake batter, cock snot[1], man yoghurt, and in some circles that don’t appreciate it, drek.
[1] These are misnomers. Snot is mucus produced in the sinus cavity and is not normally associated with sexual reproduction. Semen is neither mucus, nor produced in the balls (although one ingredient is). It is composed of sperm and seminal fluid. Sperm are produced in the balls, and then travel along the vass deferens to the prostate. In the prostate, sperm mix in with seminal fluid. Seminal Fluid is produced in the prostate and seminal vesicles. This mixture (semen) is what is expelled during male ejaculation (often due to a male climax).
Yes that’s correct, your balls don’t do anything special or notably different during sex with regards to sperm production. They don’t ‘pump out semen’, they don’t become swollen, and they don’t turn blue if you don’t come. If they hurt see a Doctor. If there’s a bump on them, or they *are* swollen, see a Doctor.
Decidedly Orthogonal
How could I forget jizz and jism? Thank you @BarerMender!
Decidedly Orthogonal
P.P.S. nut-bu… you know what? No. I’m going to throw in the towel and hand this off to a higher authority on semen synonyms.
BBCC
Yeah, peanut allergies can be very severe and very dangerous.
Axel
I was thinking the same. Maybe he figured she at least wouldn’t have a severe one if she eats in the caf?
He Who Abides
I suspect that he kept them in separate pockets.
Also, does anyone have a recommendation for a good bread to pair with mozzarella and pepperoni? Yesterday’s sandwich discussion got me thinking about something, and any advice would be welcome.
Bicycle Bill
Ciabatta bread.
Delicious Taffy
Seconded. Get some good sauce in that thing and you’re in for a treat. And possibly heartburn.
ktbear
Thirded.
StClair
+1
HenrEek
Any crusted bread should be fine.
Other day I had mozzarella and prosciutto, with a tomato squeezed on the sides of a baguette, and it was divine.
Alaric
He said “pockets”, plural, so I suspect each sandwich was in a separate pocket.
Suet
Oh look a truck
Glad we’re riverside and not driving down the road
RassilonTDavros
DANNY, SWERVE!
Sirksome
Oh, it’s a truck! I guess that makes more sense than a boat. I though there might be a lake on the other side of the bridge or something.
Thag Simmons
Bloomington’s a ways inland, if I’m not mistaken. I don’t know if it’s got much of a boating culture
Rose by Any Other Name
I’m honestly surprised that Truck-kun isn’t tagged.
Keulen
Act with integrity, no regrets?
Sirksome
What’s happening with that shadow in the backgtound? Is that like a boat passing by or something?
Thag Simmons
It’s sort of like a boat, except instead of floating on water it drives on roads
powerpowerpow
Dang, so that’s one of em amphibious boats? Or is it like, a land-only boat?
Thag Simmons
Land-only, unfortunately. Used to be you’d have a horse in front, but recent technological developments have made that obsolete, which put a lot of horses out of work
JA
What is this sorcery do you speak of?
Kyrik Michalowski
Looks like a semi or garbage truck.
Bicycle Bill
Too short for a semi … more like what is called a ‘straight truck’ or a ‘box truck’, with the cab/engine/axles/cargo box all on a single frame unit … overall length about thirty feet or so as opposed to a semi tractor with a 53-foot trailer behind it.
Ralph Oscar
*WOW* You *seriously* know your shadows!
Opus the Poet
Or his vehicles, in silhouette.
Thag Simmons
This is so endearing and sweet and it makes me worry about what sort of absolute disaster is about to happen when we cut back to Joyce, Joe and the Clintons
King Daniel
What does it have in its pocketses, precious?
Kyrik Michalowski
It has a peanut allergy, or a dislike of turkey.
Delicious Taffy
Now I’m just picturing Biblo waving a stick with a peanut tied to the end at Galoom, instead of his funny elf dagger. It’s a marked improvement.
Slartibeast Button, BIA
Should have been a couple of nice ‘taters.
King Daniel
What’s taters, preciousss?
JA
PO-TAY-TOES. Boil ’em, mash ’em, stick ’em in a stew!
Sunny
I will grate them with carrots, feta cheese, and red onions. Then make a gratin and there is nothing you can do to stop me!
Keulen
They’re taking the hobbits to Isengard!
Decidedly Orthogonal
We will not abandon our friends to suffering and torment!
Kyrik Michalowski
Danny even prepared for a peanut allergy, good on him. Personally I’d have taken the turkey sandwich but either one works. Now, are they skipping their afternoon classes as well?
Bicycle Bill
That’s kinda what I was driving at yesterday with the ‘offers Sal the less-mangled of the two’ … y’know, being galante and chivalrous and gentlemanly and thinking about others and what-all.
Don’t have any allergies myself, so my mind never went that route, but this works too.
Yotomoe
It’s a good thing she doesn’t have a nut allergy for when he-
Ah I’m sure you know where I’m going with that.
Kyrik Michalowski
For when he surprises her with peanut butter and fudge brownies?
Delicious Taffy
Kinky.
I am Nothing
Fudge-tastic!
A Red Balloon
It’s Peanut Butter and Jelly Time™ !!!!!
Doctor_Who
Fun fact, these characters were now born after that meme, and the grave yawns before us all.
bemisawa
I’d call that *two* fun facts, really.
Deanatay
*Sarah appears with a baseball bat*
Citizen Octopus
Not as good as a microwave, better than a crappy dorm room toaster oven.
BBCC
Much like my heart, Sal, minus the pockets because I wear girl pants.
Kyrik Michalowski
The fact that girl pants don’t have as many options for pockets is downright despicable. Everyone has needs for pockets. I bet the pants designers and the purse makers are working together. It’s a conspiracy I tell you!
BBCC
Wouldn’t shock me – my boyfriend was both shocked and outraged when he read the strip that mentioned girls don’t get real pockets.
He was also shocked when I told him a lot of girls keep snacks in their purses. LOOK, WE’VE BEEN DENIED POCKETS, WE HAVE TO KEEP OUR GOLDFISH CRACKERS AND GRANOLA BARS *SOMEWHERE*.
Deanatay
? Girls don’t get pockets ??
Needfuldoer
Worse. They get fake pockets that can almost hold a Tic-Tacs box.