146

Name
Posted on May 5, 2011 by David M Willis

146 thoughts on “Name”

  1. Chrisby

    HE’S KIDNAPPING JOE SOMEBODY STOP HIM.

    1. Henry

      With their penis. For a nickel.

      1. Jillian

        With the help of their FAAAAAAACE.

        1. Trae Dorn

          I have perverse sexual lust for this conversation

        2. Bekah

          I find it difficult to masturbate to.

        3. Henry

          Sort of like the hotel room after prom.

        4. Plasma Mongoose

          Break his FEMURS so he cannpt escape.

        5. Henry

          But he needs his femurs to live.

        6. Tristan J

          ALL YOUR BASE

        7. nothri

          Disgruntled aside.

        8. Valkeer1

          I do belive an epic hatefuck is about to begin.

        9. Jabberwocky

          I am intrigued, aroused, an’ disturbed.

        10. Anon

          Who exactly is gonna be involved in this “epic hatefuck”?

        11. Plasma Mongoose

          And who will be filming this while it happens?

        12. Chrisby

          Galasso.

          Sorry, this was the best I could do.

        13. Plasma Mongoose

          At least he would be better than Faz.

        14. Henry

          HA or The Cheese would be better than Faz.

        15. TPmanW

          Comment section degradation is occurring at an unprecedented rate. One more meme and we’re done for!!

        16. Lesharo

          (and subs)

        17. thomas0comer

          NEVER GONNA GIVE YOU UP…

        18. yeap.

          … done for a nickel

  2. Jen Aside

    Watch this be Senator Faz DeSanto D=

    1. arjay2813

      NOOOO! D’+

      1. Joebo

        Willis was rather non-specific as to the gender of said “congress person.”

        1. Bekah

          You’re being evil on purpose and I don’t like it.

        2. George

          Says the person with the Mike avatar

        3. Bekah

          lolirony, I know.

        4. Haituri

          You could claim it’s an Ethan avatar, with Mike being evil in it.
          otoh, iirc, Ethan liked it.

    2. The E-man

      NO.
      STOP IT. STOP IT RIGHT NOW.

      (Even as I type this I know there’s no point…Willis will do what Willis has always done…tease us and then f*ck with our minds…)

      1. Seerow

        For a nickel.

    3. Plasma Mongoose

      Faz in a sex scandel? With another person? NOW THAT WOULD BE NEWSWORTHY!

      1. Bekah

        It would be a leaked sex tape of him and a “mysterious ninja” in a public washroom.

        1. Plasma Mongoose

          But Rick has standards… I think.

        2. Tristan J

          Shortpacked!Rick has slept with Faz at least twice. It’s safe to say he doesn’t. Or if he does, they are confusing and beyond the understanding of mere mortals.

        3. Plasma Mongoose

          When did Rick do this? I missed seeing those comics.

        4. Kirby

          I think they’re referring to the time where Robin’s plan screwed up and Faz ended up on top of Rick… or the other way around, can’t remember exactly.

        5. Jon

          http://www.shortpacked.com/2005/comic/book-2-pulls-the-drama-tag/05-faztivus/blood/

        6. Plasma Mongoose

          Thank you my dear chap/chapette.

    4. Zem

      Maybe this is going to be one of those stories where you have to replace the evil brother tyrant with the benevolent one.

  3. addude

    Wait I just got yesterdays stripe!

    1. Joebo

      He who laughs last…

      1. Plasma Mongoose

        …gets looked at funny?

      2. TheCerpent

        …Thinks slowest?

      3. Chrisby

        …is just a hand in the bush.

      4. Strephon

        …butters no parsnips.

    2. The E-man

      What color was yesterday’s stripe?

      1. The E-man

        Sorry…I was in a mean mood when I typed that…

      2. addude

        Brown?

        1. XMD

          That’s why you change underwear daily.

        2. addude

          Ok put an extra e i just saw that

      3. Chrisby

        Yellow stripes are so 2004.

  4. arjay2813

    looks like danny hugging joe just a little to tightly there..

  5. Rognik

    Aparently sex tape scandals run in the family.

    1. Joebo

      No, Roz is just a Cam Whore.

      1. Henry

        Almost literally.

      2. Plasma Mongoose

        She’s only a whore if she gets paid.

        1. gangler

          Does she?

        2. Henry

          That’s why it’s only almost literally.

          Although maybe with add space on whatever site she puts up sex tapes on… she might get revenue, which might count.

    2. Shift

      Seems more they run in the multiverse.

  6. Ridureyu

    Danny is quickly outclassing both Joyce and Walky in the “Doofy Faces” department.

    1. Jillian

      They should start a club. He can be the Doofy Faced President. Wait…didn’t we already have one of those back in 2008?

      Hmm…

      1. Ridureyu

        GWB was only trying to imitate Jimmy Carter’s doofy face.

  7. shoeboxjeddy

    Danny looks like he has to take a shit ha ha.

    1. Plasma Mongoose

      Looks more like he just did one or should I say two.

  8. zuche

    Okay, this goes way beyond the sort of reaction I’d expect. There’s a nasty reveal coming.

  9. Hello, Mr. Anderson

    Oh, my. This won’t end well.

    1. Joebo

      The drama tag for this strip came pre-pulled, therefore, nothing ends well. Only hilariously.

  10. Limes

    Oh damn, escalation!

  11. Horerczy

    Danny looks like he’s trying to murder joe before the mob can.

  12. NF

    Joe is going to fix this. With his penis.

    That would have been hilarious if that was not what got him into this mess.

    Also, in panel 3 it looks like Danny’s face is imploding.

    1. Bekah

      I think you mean panel 4, and yes, yes it does.

  13. Bekah

    Is it naive of me to hope that the only fucking with my mind that’s going on here is that in the next strip or two Willis is going to pull the “Surprise! It’s exactly who you were expecting!”???

    1. Undrave

      Except that in THIS universe Robin is an ex profesionnal wrestler and is MASSIVE :p

      1. Plasma Mongoose

        MASSIVE as in she ate way too many Creme Eggs?

  14. lord of dance

    so while this may be setup to intro robin in the strip i guess the obvious question would be why would robin care who slept with her sister. assuming that personalities are mostly the same they don’t really get along much

    1. Henry

      Robin might not care. Other people might.

      1. Tristan J

        Meh, fuck other people.

        No, wait, that’s how we got into this mess.

    2. Haituri

      I think that’s one of the reasons they don’t get along much.

      And her sister’s behaviour is being tied to her name, a scandal won’t really be good for her. Which might be exactly why Roz did it.

      1. ryan

        it’s going to ruin all the world peace that’s going on!

        oh man, i get it now. DoA is just a pocket universe that occurs during the short era of world peace that SP! robin created.

  15. Romanticide

    Uh Oh

    1. Ridureyu

      Spaghettios!

      1. ryan

        dammit, now i want some spaghetti-o’s. but i won’t have a chance to eat any until after work TOMORROW. this sucks so hard…

  16. Tristan J

    I love that there are no straight men in this comic.

    Just like everything else Willis does! Oh, puns.

    1. Bekah

      Joe and Danny haven’t had same-sex relations yet have they?

      1. Tristan J

        In my original sentence, ‘straight men’ was used in the sense of ‘comic foil’ or ‘person who reacts to the funny antics of the wacky person’, e.g. Ethan is often the straight man to the many raging fanboys in Shortpacked!

        1. Bekah

          So does this make you the straightman to my bumbling buffoon?

        2. Tristan J

          Depends how sardonic I’m being right now.

    2. Plasma Mongoose

      Straight in the comical sense or as in not gay?

      1. Tristan J

        Yes.

        That’s not one of my usual useless non-answers, both are correct.

  17. Ridureyu

    One thing I don’t get about this whole “Reboot” timeline:

    Was it caused when this one guy’s home blew up and so he tattooed himself and stole a planet-destroying mining ship and went back in time, or was it caused when Raiden looked at the future and said “Noooo! He must win!” ?

    1. Tristan J

      Yes.

    2. Bekah

      It was caused when Willis wanted to make a webcomic that didn’t have aliens in it.

      1. Ridureyu

        So it’s the second one, then.

        SHAO KAHN MUST BE STOPPED!

        1. sarahlost36

          and so my theory is given yet another chunk of proof, newbies like me don’t need to read the other comics, you will all slowly tell us everything we need to know, for a nickel.

        2. Ridureyu

          Spoilers for Star Trek (2009) and Mortal Kombat (2011) aren’t going to help give you insights on the comics.

  18. Shift

    So Joe made his first sex tape without knowing? Wow, and it’s what? They’re second week of classes maybe?

    1. ryan

      he knew about it. he just didn’t care.

      http://www.dumbingofage.com/2011/comic/book-1/04-the-bechdel-test/cam/

      1. daughterofthestars

        Somehow I missed that strip. And I got quite a laugh out of it because the BEST place to attach that camera for the best view was Danny’s foot.

        Yes. Just yes.

  19. Plasma Mongoose

    Why is Danny freaking out over this? It’s Joes problem not his… SHEEESH!

    1. Tristan J

      Empathy has some weird side effects 🙂

      1. Plasma Mongoose

        Including not letting Joe suffer the consequences of ‘Joeing’ random girls with his penis.

        1. Tristan J

          I’m sure Joe would be offended and disgusted at the thought of Joeing random girls.

          He has a system and he sticks to it.

        2. Plasma Mongoose

          The only system I am aware of is his 1 to 10 ratings.

        3. Tristan J

          Even if we hadn’t seen evidence of him using multiple factors in deciding a partner (see: his deciding Dany should date Sarah while he dates Joyce), a 1 to 10 system is still a system.

        4. Plasma Mongoose

          A universal system; even I use it.

    2. skies

      Maybe Danny’s in the video instead of/in addition to Joe. IMPLIED DORM ORGIES. Can the look on Danny’s face REALLY be explained just by having to see his friend naked again?

      1. daughterofthestars

        I doubt that it’s JUST the nakedness that’s bothering him.

        Seeing Joe hang around in underwear is one thing. Actually WATCHING him bang a chick seems like another thing entirely. As well as considering all the possible repercussions of Joe’s one-night-stand becoming a political incident.

  20. linkman0596

    assuming that the congressperson is in fact robin, what i’m wondering is how she got elected, i mean semme isn’t in this universe and i thought that was a significant part of her getting elected the first time, at least it was part of her platform or something like that

    1. Mitchmo

      Nah man. Cadbury Creme Egg Cereal blackout. Viable in any universe.

    2. NomadPrime

      No, it was Star Wars, which I’m pretty sure still exists. Unless you’re referring to her abductee powers interacting with enough sugar to put most people into a diabetic coma.

    3. Derik

      She got elected when Nancy Pelosi died, duh.

  21. Mr. Shine

    You know, as someone who goes to Indiana University and works at the paper there (the IDS), it’s rather odd to see it in a fictional setting. Do people who live in popular cities like New York and Chicago get that feeling when they see places they know?

    1. Marisa

      When the big tornado came through the St. Louis airport and tore it up, I looked at the pictures and it was weird to see all that destruction in such a familiar place.

      Not quite the same thing, though… and St. Louis isn’t as big as Chicago and NYC.

    2. Eri

      I felt the same way while I watched Rio. Very, very odd.

      1. daughterofthestars

        Unfortunately, I’ve never seen any sort of comic, tv show, or movie set in any of the places I’ve lived, so I have yet to experience this phenomena.

        Sounds cool, though. Closest I’ve ever gotten is Miami, but that’s just cause I grew up an hour north of the place.

  22. goatman95111

    Why am I starting to get the feeling this was the result of all the annoyance with the Royal Wedding coverage?

    1. Bekah

      This was drawn weeks before the royal wedding.

      1. ryan

        but the royal wedding PRE-GAME show began months ago.

        1. Hello, Mr. Anderson

          Try years. I worked with magazines and the William/Kate coverage was pretty much nonstop over the course of the entire relationship.

        2. ryan

          i guess. i don’t follow the news, particularly this kind of news. all i know is that i couldn’t escape it sometime at the end of last year.

    2. David

      This story has nothing to do with anything about the royal wedding. (Though a huge reason why I dropped my own journalism major back in 1997 is that Princess Di died my first week of college and she became Journalism 101’s entire curriculum. OH MY LORD.)

      1. SHAZAM

        Why? She has nothing to do with your country. Or really mine politically by that point. Of course that didn’t stop UK newspapers from publishing conspiracy theories long into the 2000s about it.

  23. GuitarDudeSD

    Danny may not be big, but he can really haul ass when he needs to.

    1. Jackson

      Joe is big, and Danny is hauling Joe’s ass the heck out of there. That’s saying something.

  24. XLR

    Upon reading this a sudden thought popped into my head.

    How do you pronounce Robin’s and Roz’s surname?

    Deh-san-toe? Deh-Shan-toe? Dee-san-toe?

    WHY did this come to my head? I knew their surname already. Why NOW am I plagued with this dilemma?

    1. Coppermouth

      I’ve always said it as Deh-san-toe.

      1. KZero

        Same here.

        1. airfox

          I’d say: Deh-san-toh.

          -airfox

    2. Locke

      I’ve pronounced it De-sawn-toe.

    3. Ridureyu

      I say “Maize.”

      1. Anon

        As do I.

  25. Wackd

    I love that Danny’s first reaction is trying to snap Joe’s neck.

    “It’s a pity-kill! There’s no way you’d survive the incoming humiliation!”

  26. creativerealms

    God I love this comics expressions. Man they are just so strange.

  27. Kelsey

    Good friends hijack friends who sleep with congressperson’s younger siblings.

  28. Noel Schornhorst

    Danny is forcing Joe to come with him to the casbah! He’s determined to get Roz’s sloppy seconds!

  29. Locke

    Woo-hoo, internet stardom! GOOOO JOE!

  30. Hello, Mr. Anderson

    At least we now know where Robin is in the Dumbiverse.

  31. yoyoyoiliketoeatapples

    what’s the faaaace thing?

    1. Jackson

      This.

    2. Skye

      As happens in Willis comics, many of the vet readers will make mini-memes that just keep going on.

      http://www.dumbingofage.com/2010/comic/book-1/01-move-in-day/face/ – FAAACE!

  32. KZero

    …? My Gravatar seems to have changed somehow. By sorcery or science I’ll never know.

  33. Roborat

    I must be failing to see something here. Why would this be a scandal, I would think this would make Joe a famous guy on campus, with a corresponding increase in the sexings.

    1. Kep

      As the reaction IS pretty extreme, I’m assuming it’ll be explained either in the next comic or the one immediately following it.

  34. saturnwonder

    :O He’s in deep crap!!

  35. Angelicfiend

    i sense robin making an appearance soon

  36. ArchSchnitz

    HHHHHHHHHHHHHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!

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