299

Lived
Posted on September 6, 2017 by David M Willis

299 thoughts on “Lived”

  1. Ana Chronistic

    WHAT A TWEEST

    I guess Sal will see more of Marcie tho?

    1. Arawn

      Maybe Malaya is just hel… helpin… helping someone? No that doesn’t sound quite right. I’m sorry, I wanted to believe in a chance that Malaya could have been helping someone else move in but from what I know of Malaya she doesn’t really do the helpful thing all that often.

      1. Andy

        Malaya saw a room that was being moved out of and a nerdy girl ready to move in so she kicked the nerdy girl, stole her stuff, and is contemplating stealing her room, too.

        1. Clif

          Nah, Malaya has a secret crush on Sal. Look how long she spent practicing her first line.

        2. BagFaceMan

          I’m not sure if you’re being sarcastic or not, but I swear I’ll eat my hat if you’re right.

        3. TheGrammarLegionary

          Not sure about the crush, but that line was DEFINITELY rehearsed. And if I’m not wrong, Malaya and Marcie have been getting pretty close, because that’s a hell of a shot at Sal’s past; difficult to make entirely by accident.

        4. Needfuldoer

          Want to bet half the things in those suitcases (and probably the suitcases themselves) are Lucy’s?

    2. Jamie

      Man, it’s going to be awkward when Marcia breaks up with Malaya.

      1. BigDogLittleCat

        Did Marcie ever get together with Malaya? I thought she was avoiding Sal because she was mad that Sal started the fight. (Whether Sal actually started it is a diffent question.)

        1. segnosaur

          At this point I don’t even think we know if Malaya is gay.

        2. C.T Phipps

          She’s robosexual so, presumably, that’s over all universes.

        3. TemperaryObsessor

          If memory serves she appears to prefer women to men and she appears to like robots. There is also a good chance that she finds other people wanting something sexual from her to be a turn off.

        4. Smiling Cat

          Interpreting data from one universe over, she appears to be predominantly, but not exclusively, heterosexual. Though personality seems to be a more significant trigger than gender.

        5. Smiling Cat

          Expanding on it, one might call her spite-sexual.

        6. Andrew_C

          Well we know she was obsessed by Leslie and in a relationship with Carla/Robo Car, so I think her sexuality is more complicated than that

        7. Socks

          Well, her sexuality pretty explicitly didn’t include wanting to kiss or perform sex acts upon women, so I’m thinking Marcie (whose words on the matter have been “I want to hit that” and “fuck”) is gonna be disappointed either way.

        8. BBCC

          On the other hand, UC was a woman and Malaya VERY MUCH wanted to perform sex on her.

          I’m thinking it’s less a ‘no ladies’ and more a ‘Malaya = demi’.

        9. Fart Captor

          She was in romantic relationships with two different women, and only went on a few dates with men, but you think she was more attracted to men? I’m not sure I understand the math you’re doing there

        10. Smiling Cat

          You might want to look up the difference between sexual attraction and romantic attraction. She explicitly stated her lack of sexual interest in leslie. She also rather quickly hopped into the closet with a male at a movie theater (not a value judgment, simply an indication that she was sexually attracted to him). In the case of Ultra-Car, she was pretty clearly attracted to her personality, not her gender (I called it “spite sexual” earlier).

        11. Fart Captor

          …And then there was Ultra-Car, who she absolutely wanted to bang the ever-living shit out of, making it really weird how you keep insisting that Malaya wasn’t physically attracted to her as a woman. It was more interest than she ever had shown in another person of any gender.

          She seemed to be some variety of demisexual, but also bisexual.

  2. Spring

    TWIST!

    1. Thor

      I know, right? Who would have thought that the best character in the strip would be moving in to take a larger role, more befitting of her awesomeness?

      1. SgtWadeyWilson

        *Raises hand.* Do wishes count?

      2. Joe Covenant

        Of course, we’re talking about SAL here, yeah??

  3. A lone shoggie

    HO SHI-

    1. Eyebrow

      This is just cruel. Sal really does not need this.

      Even Marcie does not need this.

      I don’t think Sal has ever found a way to deal with Malaya, even without the actual love-triangle issue. Sal will have to grow or be defeated.

  4. CandidCanid

    I KNEW IT

    1. Clif

      Certain things are inevitable, even when they are not.

  5. Poskie

    oh christ this is gonna be a real trip

  6. Yumi

    Ayyyyyy

    Cookies for everyone who called it.
    And yeast donuts.

    1. TheOthin

      Man, I saw a comment suggesting that and thought “no way, Sal would know by now and have said something”. Welp.

      1. Jon Rich

        Paperwork is Sal’s Kryptonite.

        1. Jon Rich

          Oh God, I’m *Mary?!* Nooooo…..

        2. Needfuldoer

          psst… Capitalize a letter of your email address…

        3. Positron

          Or just change it on Gravatar, make up a spiffy one of your own

        4. Br44n5m

          It’s fun to make your own gravatar, it could even have a phone!

  7. otusasio451

    Well…I guess Willis was lying when he said nobody would be murdered in this comic…

    1. butting

      It’s not murder when someone dies of natural causes.

    2. James

      It’s not murder, Malaya will just accidentally run into Sal’s knife.
      Ten times.

      1. otusasio451

        SHE HAD IT COMIN’
        SHE HAD IT COMIN’
        SHE HAD IT COMIN’ ALL ALONG

        1. Cholma

          If you had been there
          If you had seen it
          I betcha you would’ve done the same!

        2. Michael Chandra

          No no.

          I didn’t do it
          But if I did it
          How could you tell me that I was wrong

        3. ǝ snow ʍousɐ

          you never see it comiiing

      2. thejeff

        Pretty damn unnatural not to die after that.

        1. Clif

          But it was only a phone,

        2. Br44n5m

          Nokias are just too hard to break, people shouldn’t be falling on them!

  8. Miguel

    Hey there Malaya, what’s it like in New York City…..

  9. BBCC

    Can’t stop laughing!

  10. Bladeglory

    …Somebody really wants a murder to take place in this hall before the end of the semester, huh.

    1. Deathjavu

      *points at Willis* I think it’s that guy. He’s the one that put people that hate each other in the same rooms. Something about “narrative foils” and “mass suffering”.

      Damn that guy.

    2. darkgloomie

      Betcha the author wants to retool this into a murder mystery. After all he’s alreasy done the slice-of-life thing, the sci-fi thing, the setting doesn’t lend itself to the fantasy thing, so what’s left?

      1. Andy

        Every setting lends itself to fantasy. Just add magic.

  11. Stephen Bierce

    Mary gets a playmate!

    1. Needfuldoer

      Isn’t that what Peter’s for?

      1. Clif

        Not after Malaya steals him away.

  12. maxyai

    I am very happy right now.

    1. Clif

      Well yeah, but that’s because you are a bad person. Like me.

  13. Streben

    Poor Sal. The world apparently loves to mess with her.

  14. sun tzu

    HA! SUFFER, SAL! SUFFER! XD

    1. Dellaran

      Appropriate gravatar is appropriate.

  15. TemporalShrew

    That’s some tough talk from someone wearing a cropped hoodie that says “BAD” on it, Malaya.

    1. tim gueguen

      Yeah, Malaya could just as easily be accused of “overhyped performative rebellion.”

    2. Doki

      Not gonna lie, I kinda love your icon paired up with that comment. |D

  16. butts

    well SHIT

    1. Clif

      Perfect avitar is perfect.

  17. Yumi

    Also, “overhyped performative rebellion,” Malaya you’re literally wearing a top that says “BAD.”

    1. Speedball

      Hey, in that case it’s an unironic label that means “Of Poor Quality.”

      1. John Merklinghaus

        When I saw your gratavar, I thought it was a crow at first, with all the talk of murder going on.

      2. Clif

        That’s Malaya; Truth in advertising.

    2. SgtWadeyWilson

      To be fair, Sal’s performative rebellion does have more hype. Why, I bet you couldn’t count her fangirls on two hands! Not to mention the guys.

      Malaya, as far as we’ve seen in this comic, has only the attention of Marcie and maybe Carla.

    3. Thor

      “BAD” in this case is not Malaya fronting, but rather her favorite musical note sequence. Considering that this is the first three notes of Handel’s “Messiah” and Mozart’s “Ode to Joy”, this simple garment shows Malaya’s classical education, her hidden depths, and her navel, all at the same time.

      1. Remmington Steele

        A fan of Big Audio Dynamite, perhaps?

      2. Clif

        Wow! I think you could be right.

      3. Egg

        They’re nonsequential, then :|a

        1. Clif

          That’s what makes it subtle.

      4. Marsh Maryrose

        That was a very interesting musical analysis. Say, are you by any chance a descendant of PDQ Bach?

      5. OBBWG

        I thought you were wrong about “Mozart’s” Ode To Joy. I thought it was composed by Beethoven. But it turns outyou may have been right.

        1. Khno

          But Beethoven was given Mozart’s spirit, by the hands of Haydn…
          Mozart himself has been reorchestrating things written before him..
          and so on and so on….

      6. Roborat

        You threw me there are first. The Ode to Joy I learned doesn’t start BAD, it is EEFG, however that is on guitar.

  18. DailyBrad

    I guess it might be worth it if it means Marcie stops blowing her off.

  19. Passchendaele

    Honestly, I’m pretty sure people have left that room more often by the window than the actual door. :p

    1. Delicious Taffy

      Doors are for the week.

      1. SgtWadeyWilson

        It’s Wednesday, so Doors it is, I guess.
        https://youtu.be/K3CHi_9sxj0

  20. Mark

    I’m just wondering if Sal ever takes those gloves off. That scar must really bother her.

    1. Wind

      Whoa. I never connected Sal’s ever-present gloves to her knife wound. Makes sense!

    2. Drakkin the Alien

      scar tissue of deep wounds tends to be pink, regardless of skin color. Also, the longer you cover the skin, more noticeable the color shade gap is going to be. think bikini tan lines, but in the hands. she would look like a dark cat with white paws (at least in her own eyes… ) 🙂

      1. Leorale

        Her skin isn’t tan from the sun, that’s her real colour. I’m sure the scar does bother her, though, and she wouldn’t like people asking about it.

        1. Gwen

          People of color get tan lines too

  21. AnvilPro

    Cue trombone music and iris out

  22. RacingTurtle

    Yessssssssssssss

    Also, +1 to everyone who made fun of Malaya’s hoodie in light of her judgy line up there.

  23. y3k

    noooooooooooo

  24. RaisonDetriment

    All together now:

    DAMMIT, MALAYA!!

    1. SgtWadeyWilson

      Woohoo! Malaya!

    2. Fire_daws

      No, it’s damnit Willis.

      1. Needfuldoer

        “Damn you, Willis!” and “goddammit, Malaya!”

  25. Optimal Optimus

    Remind me… is there anything that is actually obnoxious about Malaya, or is Sal just mad because she stole her friend?

    1. JetstreamGW

      Malaya’s a tactless jerk.

      Like, aggressively. That’s kinda her primary character trait.

    2. Cephalo the Pod

      I mean, her second strip ever had her loudly whine about not getting enough free alcohol.

    3. Dana

      Malaya is one of my favorite characters. And so, so obnoxious.

    4. Gesc

      She’s a huge shit to the everyone ever. That we know of.

    5. SgtWadeyWilson

      Yep, and she’s awesome.

    6. ValdVin

      Malaya is “the friend that nobody likes”. And in the immediate circle of Sal, Marcie, and Carla she is the most off-putting. We don’t even know why; the others are more important oners for at least some recognizable reason.

    7. Sam

      Malaya is a tactless, mean and rude person to pretty much everyone with or without reason to be and seems proud to be that way. She is this way to everyone she dislikes, regardless of whether they are nice or mean or in between. She makes no effort to even be performatively neutral or less than outright mean to friends of friends and would completely shamelessly steal your friends then insult you over it (this has been her attitude towards Sal in past strips).

      There are plenty of reasons for Sal to hate her based on her personality. Plus, Sal stopped seeing her as a threat to her friendship with Marcie since talking to Marcie about it; her friend hasn’t been stolen from her at all to begin with even if Malaya would like to think she has stolen Sal’s only friend to spite her.

    8. thejeff

      She doesn’t like Lucy.

      And if there’s any surer proof of evil, I don’t know what it could be.

      1. ValdVin

        If she doesn’t like Lucy, Joyce’s all-consuming sunniness will either bring Malaya around, or innocently destroy her*.

        (*I’m thinking of the effortless manner Clouseau had on his boss Dreyfus in the Pink Panther movies.)

  26. Renshear Blade

    Hello Malaya Indeed!

    1. Lingo

      Ironically, I’m betting your avatar character is saying “Good riddance, Malaya.”

  27. (((Mkvenner)))

    I have lost faith in chloe.

    1. StClair

      When did you have any? Why?

      1. Marsh Maryrose

        Seconded. Chloe’s previous actions would have been understandable (though not necessarily forgivable) if she were a front-line manager pushed into a situation above her pay grade. But she’s a professional, in a professional position, with professional training, and she screwed the pooch — and either she doesn’t realize that, or she doesn’t give a shit.

    2. Bagge

      Chloe has done a crappy job of almost everything we have seen her do (ESPECIALLY everything that has to do with Ruth), but in this specific instant I’m not sure what she has done wrong. Why not room Sal with Malaya? She doesn’t know about their history, and as far as she knows they might have shared interests.

      1. Abel Undercity

        I’m not sure “I really want to kick my new roomie’s behind” counts as a shared interest, though.

        1. Bagge

          Sure it does – it’s bonding.

          No, seriously, you are right. It’s a disaster for them to share a room. But for once I don’t think Chloe could be expected to do anything more about it than she has already done.

          NEXT STEP is when Sal and Malaya simultaneously hand in a new transfer request. When THAT happens she should arse herself down to the dorm, talk to them and then ask around if anyone else is willing to switch room. And when she fails to do that (because of course she will) it will be her own fudge-up fair and square.

        2. ValdVin

          Not to get all in-universe geeking, but, how does this work?

          It was mentioned earlier that Billie having to move bumped others down the list. Billie and Ruth’s circumstance was danged unique, with the power imbalance, medical intervention, and psych ward stay.

          But what normally happens? The person at the top of the list gets to choose where they go? Or the Chloe-level fellow just makes assignments? Or a sliding scale between these? What input do the students have here?

          (Disclaimer: I had had some random roomates in my college days. Some worked out, some didn’t. Lucky enough that all were realized as “not gonna work” rather than blame-throwing.)

  28. Cephalo the Pod

    On the plus side, perhaps Billie will soon believe in the integrity of Joyce’s friendliness towards her.

  29. Cmd1095

    Sal you should know better than to say things like that, you brought this upon yourself

  30. All-Purpose Guru

    I knew it.

    First time Sal walks in on her and Marcie getting it on someone is going out the window.

    1. NullSet

      It’ll be Sal. It’s kinda her thing.

    2. SgtWadeyWilson

      Silly Guru, she can’t walk in on them if she only enters via window.

  31. Keulen

    Well, hats off to everyone who predicted Sal’s new roommate would be Malaya. Now it’s just a question of which one murders the other first.

    1. BBCC

      Depends – think Marcie can stop Sal every time?

  32. TheAmazingKMan

    Out of ALL THE PEOPLE who could have roomed with her…

    1. Kammon

      Eh, Malaya will be moving in with Carla eventually. So, who will Sal’s Next-Next room-mate be?

  33. Synnerman

    Oh God.

  34. Carms

    omg srsly? SHIIIT.
    OR, did Marcie get into to IU and Malaya is helping her move?
    Relly those are the two options i ges. malaya isn’t going to be helping anyone else

    1. BBCC

      I dunno, she might help out Lucy if it got her out faster.

      1. thejeff

        That’s the other upside to this: sure, we’ll probably see even more of Malaya, but this should mean Billie’s moving in with Lucy, which means we’ll probably see her again!

  35. Mandy

    Well shit. Maybe you shoulda looked at the paperwork, Sal.

  36. Sporky

    WOMP WOMP

  37. Ryek Hvek

    ….and hijinks ensue….

    1. Dellaran

      You misspelled ‘homicide’.

  38. Whatevsman

    Her hoodie (or at least what we can see of it) kinda says it all here, don’t it?

  39. Jesse

    The authorities never found Malaya’s body.

    1. ValdVin

      I know Faye from QC only made one guest appearance in DofA, but somehow everybody at IU knows all the best quarries to submerge bodies in, just like Faye does.

  40. bleepbloop

    Rest in peace and pieces Malaya :/

    Then again, who knows! At least there’ll finally be a real roommate dymamic for Sal since, like the strip says, Billie and Sal basically never interacted.

  41. Tacos

    Welp!

  42. Rectilinear Propagation

    I think I insisted to someone that it didn’t make sense for anyone with an existing room assignment to show up here and I only JUST NOW realized that they likely forced Malaya to switch with Billie instead of just waiting for a room to open up.

    For some reason the whole (paraphrasing) “until Billie’s moved Chloe will handle any issues related to her” bit made me think they weren’t forcing the issue. I don’t know why, especially given how slow time moves in the comic. If they had to wait until the semester ended it would take forever in real time for Billie to actually move out.

    So apologies to whoever I left that reply to because IIRC they also called that it would be Malaya.

    1. Clif

      See, what you don’t know is that Malaya volentered for the switch because she’s got a secret crush on Sal.

      1. Pablo360

        That is simultaneously good news and very bad news for Marcie.

    2. thejeff

      Malaya had probably put in a request to get away from Lucy. I doubt there was any forcing going on.
      I didn’t think it would be her because 1) too obvious and 2) I expected this to be where a couple of the new characters we’ve seen on Tumblr would show up.

  43. Lingo

    This probably also means Billie is rooming with Lucy, which: sweet!

    1. Keulen

      I hope this means we’ll see more of Lucy in future strips.

      1. Lingo

        Lucy is like a nerdy version of Joyce’s clingy friendliness. She’ll drive Billie batty.

        1. Scar Man!!!

          She’s probably gonna bully poor Lucy actively

    2. Lingo

      Other observations:
      (1) With Mike, Ruth, Carla, and now Malaya, this dorm is sure filling up with jerks.
      (2) There is a character model of Zaph on Willis’s Tumblr. I’m beginning to wonder if Billie’s new dorm will be the “McAwesome’s” to this dorm’s “Shortpacked!”.

      1. Carms

        Mary doesn’t count as a jerk?
        and her new boyf, too…

        1. Lingo

          I try not to remember Mary….

        2. Clif

          Understandable.

        3. Koms

          Mary and Peter are on an entirely different level of jerkiness .

      2. UniqueSnowflake2

        Is Zaph Faz’s good twin?

        1. Lingo

          Yes!

      3. Lingo

        (3) I wonder if Billie will leave, still believing Sal to be Amazi-Girl.

  44. Rukdug

    See Sal. This is why you always read the paperwork. Several times just to be sure. So you aren’t surprised when something like this happens.

  45. BigDogLittleCat

    Noooooooooooooooo!

  46. Dean

    Dat eye twitch.

  47. TrueVCU

    Coming soon A MURDER

    1. Pl0x

      I hope so.

      1. Pl0x

        Of Malaya, specifically.

        1. SgtWadeyWilson

          Pretty sure Mary’s still in line.

        2. TrueVCU

          No cuts

        3. TheGrammarLegionary

          Actually, probably a lot of cuts…

  48. Marsh Maryrose

    Given the sliding timescale, we sometimes speculate on how quickly (or not) specific hardware or specific games will age. This is the first time I’ve wondered whether a specific word — “performative” — will sound in five years.

    Of course, it’s a perfectly valid and useful word in academic contexts. But — and I’m sure I’m behind the curve on this — it’s only in the last couple of months that I’ve heard it used in conversation that took place outside of an academic context.

    1. BBCC

      I’ve also seen it already start to get bastardized so it’s going to be a long wait to see if it sticks.

  49. timemonkey

    Hell. Yes. Thank you Willis!

    1. Clif

      You mispelled “Damn”

      1. timemonkey

        I like Malaya.

  50. brasca1

    I’m a bit disappointed. I was hoping an old character we haven’t seen in this universe would be arriving.

    1. Lingo

      Someone in particular in mind?

    2. Cephalo the Pod

      Really, who’s left?

      1. Nono

        As far as girls go, not many. Guns, I think that’s it.

        1. C.

          And Willis is all NO GUNS AT ALL

    3. timemonkey

      Wen?

      1. Lingo

        Sun 😉

    4. VeryCreativeUsername

      Maybe Billie will have a new character for a roommate.

  51. Dave

    YAAASSSSSSSS!!!!!!!

  52. Dev

    oh no

  53. Harvey Janus

    Oh yay. Welcome back Malaya -through gritted teeth- It’s so nice to see you again.

  54. AgentKeen

    OH DANG

    I think I would’ve preferred seeing Lucy and Sal’s dynamic since we already get Sal and Malaya interactions elsewhere.

  55. Deadjolras

    Does this mean Sal will start using the door from now on or will she continue climbing through windows (snatching your Marcies up)?

    1. merbrat

      She will go back to sleeping at the picnic table.

  56. zoelogical

    -cackling-

  57. Terry

    “Take me with you.” – Sal

    1. Clif

      Actually, Billie will really be living in Ruth’s room, so Sal could move in with Lucy.

  58. Pl0x

    Godammit, I really really hate Malaya.

    1. BenRG

      You and Sal both!

      1. Sam

        And me!

  59. John

    Goddammit Malaya.

  60. Michael Chandra

    WHELP

  61. Ivy

    I love her.

  62. MrSpkr

    Sonit smells like teen spirit?

  63. Bagge

    And thus, Sal went out through the window and was never seen again.

  64. Marsh Maryrose

    Here’s the unfired Checkhov’s Gun in the room that we might never find out about.

    We know why Billie has to move. We know why Sal is getting a new roommate.

    What we don’t know is this: why did Malaya move from her previous room? Was Lucy so awful (Malaya’s word, not mine) that Malaya was willing to roll the dorm dice blindly?

    And if this is a swap, that means that Billie and Lucy are going to be roommates. I can’t imagine that Billie will see this as an improvement, but then I imagine that Billie will still be spending her nights in Ruth’s room.

    Also: are we going to see more Lucy? I would like that, because Lucy is so adorkable she gives me the squees. But she’s not a main cast character, and her function seems to be mostly to provide levity, so I’m guessing no.

    1. BenRG

      My guess is that Malaya and Billie are being swapped and Billie will be living with Lucy from now on. I wonder if she’ll enjoy living with a woman with many of the qualities of a female Walky?

      1. Clif

        She’ll feel right at home.

      2. Emily

        How on Earth is Lucy in any way a female Walky? In her four panels of screentime she’s given zero evidence of being a poorly groomed woman-child.

        1. Clif

          There were previous comics. Which you can read if you choose. But yeah, the analogy is less than perfect.

        2. Socks

          In the ways Billie would care about, they’re both annoying nerds? I doubt Billie sees much distinction between young justice and dexter and monkey master, or between adorable fandom and… whatever it is walky does.

        3. segnosaur

          I feel the same way. If anything, Lucy is like Joyce, or if you had to pick a male counterpart, maybe Danny. (i.e. both eager for friendship/approval from others and willing to help others.)

  65. newllend(henryvolt)

    I can feel disturbance, I think Yotomoe just died somewhere out of joy.

    1. Bagge

      Or possibly Sal just died because of… yeah, not joy.

      1. Clif

        On the upside, Malaya sounds cheerful.

  66. Ellegos

    ah ha. Ha ha. AhHaHaHAHAHA!

  67. Vi

    I’m really sad that Marcie and Sal haven’t been seeing each other still, honestly… I understand the reasons Marcie is mad at her, but they love each other so much and have been friends so long and I really want them to make up.

    1. Clif

      You mispelled ” out “.

      1. Gwen

        … pretty sure Sal is straight. As a queer woman with plenty of straight female friends, I appreciate depictions of friendship that acknowledge that being queer doesn’t disqualify you from having platonic friendships with straight people of your same gender.

  68. Emoroffle

    Looks like someone else will be getting stabbed on campus.

  69. Gesc

    And so it begins Sal’s habit of sleeping anywhere but in her room. Or rather, it continues? I take it she’s likely to just avoid sharing a space with Malaya rather than straight up shank her. I mean, that would solve the issue short term.

  70. Torra

    Yesssssssssssss

    I was hoping this would happen and it did

  71. CJ

    Really, did Malaya apply for a switch or was she only the most badly connected person who could be force-switched on admins whims?

    This will end with Billie sleeping at Ruth’s and Sal sleeping in Billie’s Bed, won’t it?

    1. Gaia

      Unless Billies new roommate is… dun dun duh!

  72. BenRG

    This is could be intensely good for Sal and Malaya: They might be forced by simple necessity to learn to deal with each other like rational adults and not react to each other like jealous and adversarial children. Alternately (and slightly more likely), it is going to be intensely bad for them: Their basically incompatible personalities will drive them to distraction and, possibly, violence.

    Well, if nothing else, having her GF in Sal’s room will probably give Marcie reason to visit and maybe Sal can try to rebuild bridges with her.

    1. Danni

      im betting on the cops being called twice a week to break them up.

    2. Sam

      I am voting for this to go intensely bad.

  73. Beachfox

    *points*
    *Pod Person Screeching Noise*

    1. Beachfox

      Malaya: Thank god, I’ve finally escaped that clingy, uber-cheerful, walking Lisa Frank-style anthropomorphised suger-smile.

      Joyce: *Bursting through wall* NEW FRIEND HAS ARRIVED!

      Sal: *Nelson Laugh*

      1. Danni

        how long before malaya learns to not piss off joyce?

        1. ValdVin

          Pissing off Joyce? As a natural act of Malaya’s personality I see it happening, as a tactic it may well fail.

          Malaya will get extra morning hugs whether she wants them or not. The cure will be worse than the proverbial kill.

  74. Danni

    malayas a complete bongo

  75. OnyxIdol

    “Of all the rooms in all the dorms you had to walk into mine.”

  76. Shiro

    Your snark is betrayed somewhat by your choice of a hoodie reading BAD, Malaya.

    I had a teeny Malaya at work the other day, she was much nicer than the DoA version.

  77. Shariku

    Aw, i wanted a new character…

    1. VeryCreativeUsername

      Me too, pal, me too.

  78. Ruthmost

    Billie will get along great with Malaya’s ex-roommate…

    http://www.dumbingofage.com/2015/comic/book-5/03-the-butterflies-fly-away/lucy/

  79. Archivist

    My brain is too mired in the Walkyverse for it to feel normal that Sal and Malaya are the same age.

  80. CianM1301

    Aaaaayyyy!

  81. Lamppost

    I don’t know what I expected… also this is my first time commenting and I wonder what my Gravatar will be

    1. Lamppost

      Okay I spent a disproportionate amount of time researching who that is and I would like a new one please

  82. Darkoneko

    Oh my gods.

    1. Gaia

      I had NOTHING to do with this!

      1. Clif

        We know what you did.

  83. Ivresse

    *sigh* God dammit, Willis…

    1. Clif

      No, no. You’re supposed to shake your fist at the heavens when you do that.

      1. Ivresse

        *still sighing, eyes closed, but raises a fist in reluctance and shakes it a little* God dammit, Willis…

        1. Clif

          Much better. The foundations of our reality are restored.

  84. Eldritch Gentleman

    This is going to be a bloodbath…

    1. BenRG

      On the other hand, it could give Ruth leverage against Chloe:

      “You DO know those two despise each other to the point of violence, don’t you? What, you were so eager to do my grandfather’s bidding that you didn’t do even the vaguest compatibility checks? Wow! The Dean’s going to love this one! How many violent incidents this semester already?”

      1. Eldritch Gentleman

        Oh this could be quite neat, not sure if Ruth is in the right state of mind to pull a Xanatos like this…

      2. Fart Captor

        Not really. Assigned roommates hating each other is hardly uncommon, even without a personal history between them.

        Keeping residents from murdering each other is kinda the RA’s primary function, so I kinda doubt that would work. Especially if IU is the sort of college that deliberately puts people together to force them to get along

  85. Gaia

    Dose this mean Sal has to stand outside while her rommie and best friend has it going on!? 😀

    1. Clif

      Only if they remember to put a sock in the window.

    2. thejeff

      If it means she’ll see more of Marcie, she’ll put up with it.

      1. Gaia

        Dose she want to see that much of Marcie?

  86. Eternus Somnus

    As Kevin Hart once said:

    Its About To Go Down…..

    1. Eldritch Gentleman

      Place your bets!

  87. Nope

    Well luckily Sal is never in her room anyway.

  88. Zaxares

    Well played, Willis. Well played…

    *steeples fingers* Now, have Malaya invite Marcie over for a makeout session while Sal watches.

    1. Scar Man!!!

      POPCORN, GET YOUR POPCORN! CAN’T WATCH A YOUNG WOMAN LITERALLY EXPLODE WITHOUT SOME DEEELICIOUS POPCOOORN!

  89. Dariu55

    Welp. This is going to go GREAT.

  90. foducool

    you had to jinx it lmfao

    that eye twitch, tho XD

  91. L!ghtn!ng

    OMG, how did I not see this coming when Sarah said Billie’s replacement would be even worse? Tremendous!

    1. Clif

      Appropriate gravater is appropriate.

  92. Clif

    This is really going to be awkward for Marcie.

  93. Emily

    Malaya is terrible but her being completely unimpressed with Sal’s rebel without a cause shtick is the best.

    1. CJ

      She has a cause. Several, in fact.
      And I’d really like,to know the back stories of Marcie’s dumbness. I suspect it’s one of the causes…

  94. Sdrainbow

    I never expected to like Malaya, but wow. Here we are.

  95. sliveredtongue

    And the next person to apply for a room transfer is Sal.

    1. BenRG

      Sal & Joyce as The New Roomies 2k18!

  96. some guy

    This is why we read alllll the agreements

  97. Badeyes

    I can’t believe she actually tossed that challenge out, and got such an immediate response. Oh wait, the higher power here is Willis… should probably have expected it.

  98. Spencer

    Today is a day of great celebration.

    I was finally right about a plot point in DoA.

    1. Scar Man!!!

      Conglaturations!

      1. Clif

        Oh wait. If it means Spencer is right then we have to change reality so that she is actually here to help Marcie move in.

    2. Bagge

      High five! Next up – Becky starts in roller derby.

      1. Spencer

        I’m still banking on Amber and Sal becoming friends and joining roller derby.

        And solving mysteries.

  99. John Madden

    DUN DUN DUN

  100. Scar Man!!!

    *wheezing chuckle* $10 says they’ll try to strangle each other by, at the most, the middle of the next chapter/in-comic day

  101. raul

    I don’t think this bodes well.

    somebody’s either going to jail or the morgue, unlikely to be the same person

  102. Kutharos

    Oh man, just pour me more of that sweet drama tea, with extra salt.

  103. Cerberus

    Comic Reactions:

    Wait! Whoa! So Billie’s getting Lucy as a roommate? Lucky. Though she might be a bit too Joyce-like for her, but I’m already looking forward to Joyce and her meeting for the first time.

    …

    Oh, something else happened this strip? I kind of love Malaya moving in. Like, in this universe, she’s been kinda intriguing and has had some good points amidst the acerbity*.

    *Not to mention some barbed sweetness. The way she struggles and tries to learn sign language for Marcie, the way she was willing to see someone who mostly emotionally abuses her and give it a passing chance but refused to accept the narrative that she should be grateful for Sal’s civility.

    And her being on the floor means we’re going to see a lot more exploration of her including how her sexuality works in practice in this universe (aro ace?, demi?). Plus, Sal wanting to rant about Malaya means more Sal and Carla scenes together which are always delightful.

    Plus, it means Marcie doesn’t fall out of the picture just because she’s fighting with Sal at the moment and probably some chances for the crew to hang out in the main hall, not just in Walmart parking lots.

    It’s just good plot pudding for later and a nice payoff for Malaya’s jokes about wanting to escape her “terrible roommate” in Lucy.

    Also, I’m so sad at that opening interaction between Billie and Sal. These two are practically sisters in a way, but it’s so tense and formal with both avoiding saying what they’re really thinking in the moment, but both knowing this was a failed attempt to reconnect to that sort of created family.

    It’s like a mourning for an opportunity missed.

    1. Nightsbridge

      I agree 100%! But, think of the potential badness with Malaya living on the same floor as Amber.

    2. Clif

      As always, you give me something to think about that I hadn’t considered.

    3. Scar Man!!!

      Wait, robosexuality isn’t real? Darn, there goes my dating chancea

      1. ǝ snow ʍousɐ

        How about robophobia?

      2. Deanatay

        This comment reminds me of the quest in Fallout: New Vegas where you recruit a sexbot named ‘Fisto’ to work for a brothel.

        And, yeah, I had sex with it.

        Don’t judge me! I had to make sure it was working!

    4. Bagge

      “Plot pudding” is my new favorite expression!

    5. Scar Man!!!

      That said, where are you getting the idea that they were close? Last I remember of their interactions was either cooperating on dealing with the party incident or Billy hilariously failing to catch her and get her to sign the roommate agreement.

      Although, she was with Sal when Amazigirl tried to pick a fight, so there’s probably gaps in my memory

      1. Emperor Norton II

        I think what Cerb meant when she said “practically sisters” was referring to the time when Billie would visit their house so often, she often called Sal’s parents “mom and dad”.

        And you have to admit, in that strip, we see Sal starting up a conversation with Billie. And she’s doing it without any sarcasm directed towards Billie*. How often do you see Sal do that to anyone that isn’t Marcie?

        *Whether or not she’s sarcastic about the “blessing” of Billie’s parents visiting is another matter.

    6. Emily

      I’m glad Lucy gets a slightly less actively hostile roommate out of the deal.

  104. Nym

    Yessss.

  105. smooti

    CALLED IT

  106. Wereg

    Oh god, I knew she was going to have a larger part in the comic.

  107. JBento

    Why not both?

  108. Lone Wolf

    Sal: “I wish I could see more of Marcie.”

    *finger curls on the monkey’s paw*

  109. Freezer

    Sal: Figger Ah can get along with anyone.
    Universe: CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!

  110. Roborat

    Looks like something finally managed to break Sal.

    1. BBCC

      Billie beat her to it.

  111. Mom

    Holy shit yes!

  112. Barf Ninjason

    Loud, malodorous and lingering
    Malaya the human fart
    Made Sal wish for her RA-fingering
    cheerleader roommate not to depart

    1. ValdVin

      “Malaya the human fart” has an epic ring to it, like “Tinker to Evers to Chance”.

      There’s a longer poem in there waiting to escape.

  113. Sam

    At least, Sal will get to hang out with Marcie more.

  114. Mr D

    Dammit, stupid computer format, time to reroll my grav roulette

  115. Jhon

    Malaya is free of Lucy at last, at last.
    So yay?

    1. Marsh Maryrose

      If there is one thing I have learned in my many decades on this planet, it is this: any time you say to yourself, “things couldn’t possibly get any worse!” —

      They can. Believe me. They can.

  116. Valdrax

    Willis, you are the worst person in the best way. I am dying laughing at this turn of events.

  117. Kay

    MALAYA.

    1. Scar Man!!!

      A woman who gripes about “overjoyed performative rebellion” while wearing a hoodie that literally just says “BAD”

      1. Scar Man!!!

        Overhyped

  118. fractal

    I think this is actually Malaya trying to be diplomatic, by her standards, which is why the line seems rehearsed — she’s out of her element.

    Sal plays the passive-aggressive sarcasm game with her, and here is the only time I’ve seen her interact that way, instead of just being brutally honest and/or aggressive, her preferred modes of interaction.

    I think this is why she didn’t get along with Lucy — she sees constant overt niceness, and any other stuff she doesn’t understand — as some sort of lies or passive-aggressive shit she doesn’t quite get.

    Notably, she’s relatively calm/accepting when people are brutally honest with her — Sal’s line of “it’s 4 am and it’s getting harder to pretend i like you” in Malaya’s first appearance just got an “OH GAWD FINE”.

    Contrast that with Sal trying to put up with her while insulting her behind her back and being passive-aggressive when Marcie was trying to make them get along — that’s when Malaya got really mad, rather than just blunt/tactless/lowkey aggressive.

  119. Passchendaele

    Gah, how could I miss the upside-down arrow? Also, I want to believe Malaya was standing outside the room the whole time, just waiting for Sal to say something ironic/foreboding.

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