365

Authority
Posted on June 13, 2017 by David M Willis

365 thoughts on “Authority”

  1. butts

    gotta go fast

    1. Cholma

      Carla should hook up with Sal, Marcie, and Malaya then go turbo on a Roller Derby track!

      1. butts

        “carla should hook up with sal, marcie, and malaya”

        i mean i think sal might have some objections but i’m all in favor

      2. TheAnonymousGuy

        isn’t she already part of their group, she was with them in that one story where amazi girl first confronted sal

        1. Cholma

          Damn, I think you might be right. Carla spends so much time cruising the dorm hallway that it seems like she never leaves the building. I was thinking she hadn’t met M & M.

        2. butts

          I mean they got beers that one time. Dunno how often they hang out, but they appear to tolerate each others’ presence

        3. TheAnonymousGuy

          it was actually her first appearance – here: http://www.dumbingofage.com/comics/2014-05-13-walmart.png

        4. Kamino Neko

          … Sal’s eye in that last panel kinda freaks me out.

        5. Needfuldoer

          It’s like a Ninja Turtles popsicle fresh off the ice cream truck in the middle of a heat wave!

        6. Kamino Neko

          Hah! Yes, that is a perfect analogy.

        7. Kamino Neko

          Actually, about 1/2 of the strips that include both Carla and Sal also involve Malaya and Marcie…the ones that don’t mostly have M&M in the background or just about to arrive/just leaving, except for the sequence about Ruth’s depression getting worse, and one where the two of them don’t interact with each other, but encounter Amber separately.

      3. Cerberus

        Sal actually mentioned that, but Carla bowed out to ensure she didn’t get any transphobic shit competing*.

        *Society has dim views on trans folks competing and especially trans women competing in women’s sports and can get very violent about that.

    2. Kris

      Don’t blink, don’t think!
      Just, go go gogo g-g-g-g-go GO!

  2. Ana Chronistic

    stupid phones!

    1. Reltzik

      See, Carla just needs to skate faster. Outpace a text message.

    2. Passchendaele

      how dare they be so effective! everyone should have brick phones to even out the playing field.

    3. Joy

      i know this probably isn’t relevant to anything, but all the girls here are so pretty i started crying gay tears. Thank you, willis.

      1. Delicious Taffy

        So, you’re saying Willis has induced gay tears of Joy?

        1. SgtWadeyWilson

          In more surprising news: Willis induced Joy. /sarcasm

  3. Andy

    Ruth has such tired eyes.

    1. Fart Captor

      She’s tired of these muffin-effin’ skaters in this muffin-effin’ hallway!

      1. inqntrol

        One skating incident is enough for her.

        1. Reltzik

          Carla’s on thin ice.

      2. butts

        she’ll fudge you up so dang hard everyone’ll call you “poopieface” ‘cuz your head’ll be stuffed up your own a-hole

    2. TheAnonymousGuy

      is it just me or is she paler too?

    3. zoelogical

      and her hair cut is that much sadder

      1. Remmington Steele

        I don’t think anyone comes back happier than they were before, and she’s the overhang of “sir.”

        I hope she’s plotting a way out.

    4. Joe

      She’s probably been in nonstop meetings over the past couple days dealing with the fallout of what happened with Amber, just outside of this building.

      1. TheAnonymousGuy

        I completely forgot about that til now. Willis show us what happened with amber.

  4. Dafydd

    Ruth has an impressive response time.

    1. lia47

      The fucked up thing is that she was actually behind them when Billie texted her

      1. Reltzik

        Back when I was a TA, I ran a math lab. My job was to divide the lab up into teams, make myself available to answer questions, and patrol the room to make sure everyone was staying on task instead of talking about football or other stuff.

        For someone who’s 70 pounds overweight and has bright red hair, I’m surprisingly stealthy. Patrolling the room was FUN. I lost track of how many students I made jump.

        1. Dellaran

          “Back when I was a TA, I ran a math lab…”

          I read that wrong the first time.

        2. Reltzik

          You have me mixed up with a chemist, or someone else in an applied field.

        3. Kamino Neko

          So, what you’re saying is that you are NOT Reltzik Heisenberg?

        4. Reltzik

          You can measure how fast I’m going by how quickly I get comments up, and you can simultaneously see my positions on several subjects.

          So no. Heisenberg does not apply to me.

        5. Mordecai

          But can you be certain of that?

        6. Reltzik

          If Heisenberg wants to apply to me, then Heisenberg can submit an application.

        7. DarkoNeko

          Math, not even once.

        8. Roborat

          You are not the only one.

  5. Doopyboop

    Her bob is SO cute.

    1. butts

      almost makes you stop looking at her dead, unfeeling eyes

      1. Reltzik

        Ruth’s dead, unfeeling eyes are black dots. These eyes are just “unamused, and doing a Kubrick Stare from under her bangs at a tall woman she wants to intimidate”.

    2. LeslieBean4Shizzle

      It really is! Love it!

    3. Doki

      I came here to say exactly that! I LOVE IT

    4. Jess

      saaaaame

    5. JessWitt

      Looks so good.

    6. Needfuldoer

      Why yes it is!

    7. Showler

      Carla is going to be so shocked to find out that Ruth is now the Avatar.

  6. Koms

    What’s in Ruth’s hand

    1. Foxhack

      A flask in the shape of a phone.

      Or a phone.

      1. Dorje Sylas

        It’s the amazing revolutionary iFlask. You won’t believe how much liquid it will store for how thin it is.

      2. Emperor Daniel

        It’s a knife.

    2. Koms

      Why is Carlas butt talking

      1. Fart Captor

        You’re not the boss of her! She’ll talk out of whichever end she wants!

      2. Doctor_Who

        College diet. Weeks of ramen and pizza has an effect on your anatomy.

        1. Passchendaele

          yes, some weirdly talkative farts

      3. Foxhack

        If she had her robot body in this universe I imagine she’d just call it the surround fart system.

      4. DarkoNeko

        ventriloquism

    3. Kris

      It’s a knife!

      1. Absorbingman

        [Australian accent]That’s not a knife [/Australian accent]

    4. pl0x

      It’s a knife, obviously. Definitely not a phone.

      (I’m making fun of Delicious Taffy’s insistent comments during the last storyline that Ryan’s knife was actually a phone.)

      (Hi Delicious Taffy!)

      1. Dandi_Andi

        Aww. Taffy was such a good sport about it, though. We should let them live it down.

        Eventually.

        1. Reltzik

          Eh, Taffy’s owning it and seems to be having fun doing so. Forget living it down, it’s time to live it up.

      2. Delicious Taffy

        G’day, pl0x.

        (BTW I run on Betelgeuse -1 rules.)

    5. Delicious Taffy

      Damn it, you all beat me to it. I really was going to say it’s clearly a knife, but now I’ll have to think of something else.

      1. Reltzik

        *aussie accent* I see you’ve played phony-knifey before.

        1. Delicious Taffy

          Some games just never lose their charm. Feel free to quote me on this, the day a strip comes out that completely demolishes this.

      2. Kamino Neko

        … I’ve just noticed how you edited this ava.

        Then I laughed.

        Good on you for having good humour about that whole deal.

        1. Delicious Taffy

          I only regret not being able to make it even more visible.

    6. StClair

      Back at me. I have it! It’s a phone with two tickets to roller derby. Anything is possible when your RA is Ruthless.
      I’m on skates.

      1. Rukduk

        Look at your skater friend now back to me. Now back to your skater friend, now back to me. Unfortunately for you, your skater friend isn’t me. But if she had Ruthless as an RA she could be half as great as me.-Carla, sometime during the 21st century before everything went cyberpunk following AI becoming self-aware

    7. Joe Covenant

      IT’S A KNIFE!

      1. Delicious Taffy

        Now, we can’t know that for sure. Let’s just wait until tomorrow’s strip, before we come to any rash conclusions.

  7. r2d2go

    So it says this was up at 12:01 but it looks like it was only accessible at 12:04?What’s up with that?

    1. Random832

      The clock on the server drifts a bit. I think I remember a couple years ago people complaining it was like half an hour out.

      1. Reltzik

        I blame malware. Someone uploaded a malicious clip that caused the server to press the R button just before hitting the clock’s d-pad.

    2. DarkoNeko

      It publishes one second later anytimes someone hammers F5 past 12:00

  8. AnvilPro

    No matter how tall you are Carla, you’re not above the law.

  9. LeslieBean4Shizzle

    I like Ruth’s new haircut!

  10. Stephen Bierce

    *plays Jimi Hendrix’ “Crosstown Traffic” on the hacked Muzak*

  11. Derek

    At least Ruth’s green eyes are back 🙁

  12. Passchendaele

    “look out your door”
    “why”
    “carla”
    “okay”

    No Rules Day is an awesome year-long holiday, if only Carla wasn’t the only practitioner. 😛

  13. MM

    Billie’s going to wind up an RA at some point, isn’t she?

    1. Dana

      Maybe, maybe not, but I think she’s going to do a lot of informal lightening of the load for Ruth.

    2. Bagge

      That’s what I thought. Unfortunately, I assumed Chloe had a passing amount of competence in her job.

  14. Some1

    Are they on the bottom floor, cause I feel like stairs may be a problem…

    1. Hera

      pff! Stairs can’t stop Spider-Carla!

    2. Bagge

      She can take the elevator. All she has to do is to stand still for 20 seconds.

      … this might be a problem.

      1. Hera

        She can skate in circles in the elevator. 😉

        1. ValdVin

          All I can envision is Carla somehow being able to skate around the walls inside the elevator car, a la that circus act with motorcycles zooming around inside a wire sphere.

        2. DarkoNeko

          Going all Air Gear on us ?

        3. ValdVin

          Nah, I can imagine Carla being able to do the “circus ball of death”. On her skates.

          http://l7.alamy.com/zooms/108b4e1b82bf4110b1ad203ef77c0b75/circus-ball-of-death-motorcycle-stunt-team-c34ky0.jpg

          (I had to search Air Gear. Maybe I’ll give it a look.)

        4. Knayt

          Skate circles that involve two walls and a ceiling.

    3. Liliet

      it’s rollerblades, not a bicycle. you CAN just use them as regular shoes, like it’s hard to keep your balance yeah and you’re very likely to fall but it’s physically possible to just go up the stairs the way the stairs builders intended

      1. Needfuldoer

        Carla probably invented a regenerative braking system that can lock the wheels on-demand for those occasions.

      2. Kamino Neko

        Roller skates, not rollerblades, which are inline skates. (Technically a specific brand of inline skates, but the ship on that genericization has probably sailed.) Carla wears quads.

      3. Reltzik

        Or five other ways that the builders DIDN’T intend.

    4. Marsh Maryrose

      As a former The Guy Who Lives On Skates, I speak with authority on this subject.

      When you angle your foot so that the heel is up and the toe is down, the toe stop and the two front wheels form a perfectly stable triangle on any flat surface. You can clomp up and down staircases all day on skates, assuming your calves hold out.

      Of course, this only works with real skates, with wheels on the sides and toe stops. I gave up trying to figure out inline skates because my instinctive response for sudden stops — turn around and dig down the toe stop — doesn’t work very well when you don’t have a toe stop.

      1. Roborat

        Actually, that is a trained response. An instinctive response would be: “Why the hell do I have wheels on my feet?”.

  15. Sionyx

    “No, I’m not a tattler, I just knew Ruth was there and wanted a picture of your expression when she found you.”

    1. Reltzik

      Win.

  16. Larkle

    New haircut looks nice on Ruth.

  17. fillerusername

    Okay is this hair cut a good thing as in a fresh start? But she looks so tired and I’m just getting flashbacks to that season episode of Buffy where she cut her hair while going through a major depressive episode because she was just tired of looking like herself.

    1. Fart Captor

      It coulda been either of those, or maybe an attempt at a much-needed pick-me-up, or some combination of the three.

    2. Cerberus

      That’s likely a part of it. Plus, a reclamation thing ala Becky. Like, a “sir” grampus can take every other part of my life, but this one piece is real and queer and a small piece of the control that has been taken from me.

      1. fillerusername

        Oh man I just realized it’s “the bisexual haircut.”

  18. Cheshrin

    I wonder how much of Carla’s bluster in this strip is just her being happy that Ruth’s alive TO text. Like, “yeah, you go text your girlfriend who’s still alive and kicking and not laying in bed in the dark waiting to die!” It wouldn’t surprise me; she obviously cared a lot about Ruth’s emotional state, but she obviously say it out loud; she’s got an “unflappable trickster goddess above you useless peons” persona to maintain.

    1. ValdVin

      Seems plausible to me. Also guessing the no-nonsense Carla probably enjoys saying “dumb girlfriend” not to be mean, secure that that’s one less secret issue someone needs the Band-Aid ripped off of.

    2. Cerberus

      I think so, plus, it’s an out loud stating of queer relationship which is something she likely really likes seeing normalized given her earlier behavior.

  19. Reltzik

    Ruth no!

    I see the haircut, and no, Ruth, no.

    I mean, I get it. Big life change/milestone. A lot of people like to change their hair after that. I get it. That’s fine. It’s a mark of turning over a new leaf.

    But no. I’m not buying it.

    I see your shirt! THAT’S NOT A NEW LEAF AT ALL!

    No, Ruth! No!

    1. Delicious Taffy

      Go, Leafs.

      1. butting

        I won’t believe it’s a Leafs shirt until I see the mandatory black armband.

  20. BBCC

    Carla was just trying to study.

    Speaking of, I get to spend tonight going through studies showing why upping the minimum wage is a good thing because I have gotten way too deep in an argument about it. If anybody’s got any, feel free to let me know. Until then, I’m going through the ones I’ve found and am gonna bang my head against a wall.

    1. Hera

      Increasing the minimum wage only helps the people who won’t get fired, so all it really dose is increase unemployment and make it harder for small businesses to start.

      I shall be the wall to your head bagging. 😛

      1. BBCC

        Untrue, as the employment rate doesn’t tend to get higher, and small businesses tend to get higher sales because people have more money to spend.

        I like that you tried though.

        1. Hera

          But businesses that don’t fire people will increase prices to recoup their loses thereby making the minimum wage increase pointless.

          Also I don’t think it’s the governments job to tell people how much they have to get payed to be allowed to work.

          For instance if the minimum wage is 8 dollars an hour, but I’m willing to work for 7 dollars an hour, why shouldn’t I be allowed to do so?

        2. BBCC

          First of all, that’s also untrue – the price increase rate tends to be smaller than minimum wage increase rates.

          Second, even if it were true, the answer would be to keep the minimum wage indexed with the cost of living so that it’s always higher, not to take it out on minimum wage workers.

          Third, to prevent exploitation and keep wages at a rate people can live on. People agreeing to it doesn’t make it a good idea.

        3. Hera

          If the whole idea is to give people what they need to live, why not just pay everyone a living wage?
          Say 35 000 dollars a month, then tie it to inflation/deflation.

          It’s not a good idea to eat at burger king either, but I’ll rather not have the government dictate what I can or cannot do with my life.

        4. BBCC

          First of all, good luck getting that passed. Second, you’re assuming you can only have one and not the other. You can pay people fair wages and give people enough to survive above the poverty line.

          Eating at Burger King doesn’t hurt anybody but you (and probably not even you, if you’re not eating there every meal of every day). Paying less than a living wage hurts everybody getting paid that rate.

        5. Hera

          I don’t think we’ll ever agree, me being a hard-line libertarian and all.
          I pretty much agree with everything PragerU on YouTube says.
          https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4j01L69eXdI

          But I see your point, even though I disagree with it, shall we call it a draw?

        6. BBCC

          Fine by me.

        7. Eldritch Gentleman

          Well pretty big problem here is soon there might NOT be work if the government does not step in, in some way.

          Industry got moved to China or Mexico and automation advances on new fields. Hardware and software is being improved every day and soon even professional services, accounting, translations etc. might become replaced by computers. Just a couple decades ago you needed a bunch of people to process accounting data. Now you need just a couple to look over the computer doing that.

          Automatic cars and buses are being developed. How long before we won’t need professional drivers?

        8. Shiro

          The thing you have just described is a universal basic income, and I’m in favor of that as well. We as a society are more productive than literally ever before in history, and there’s no reason everyone shouldn’t have the basics to survive.

        9. BBCC

          Right? I’ve never understood why people felt you could only have one or the other. Both is good. Especially if you’re still going to have private property and private employment/business. Sure, you could hypothetically take the bare minimum needed to survive, or you could go make more money.

          My country actually used to have an experimental universal income program. It found that psychiatric hospitalization decreased, teenagers were less pressured to work to support their families and so drop outs went down, people with newborn babies and another income (such as a spouse) could stay home with their children more, and people relied less on social assistance, with drops in labour mostly coming from people who had damn good reason to be at home (school, new baby, etc.) and it was actually still rather small. Apparently my province wants to try a similar experiment and I’m very excited for it.

        10. Kamino Neko

          BBCC – I’m also in Ontario and having the same reaction.

          (Watch Ontario not be the only area that fits the description, and BBCC is from elsewhere. >_>)

        11. BBCC

          Nice!

          (And no, you got me)

        12. Kryss LaBryn

          Back in the Fifties, when the future of the faraway Year Two Thousand meant flying cars and total weather control, automation in industries and robot servants (for which automatic dish washers and washing machines are a poor substitute, albeit far better than doing the job by hand) was going to universally free us all for a life of leisure.

          What that magical future did not foresee was the factory owners replacing workers with robots–and then pocketing all the extra profits from not having to pay workers, and not spending that extra money.

          And that’s without going into “convenience fees” for using the unpaid robot instead of a human worker (when you often don’t even have a choice in it); see “Automated Teller Machine”, which you may know better as an ATM. 🙁

          Combined with tax laws and loopholes (and offshore holdings) that allow large corporations, and very rich individuals, to pay next to nothing in taxes, we don’t have an effective means of moving that extra income that used to go to the workers back into the economy. Bill Gates proposes an ongoing tax on each robot or other automation that replaces a human worker, that is then put into a universal income, because as we have more and more people competing over fewer and fewer jobs in an economy where the rich factory (and other businesses that have been able to automate and reduce workers) have reduced their costs by no longer paying workers without redistributing that saved income in other means via either spending it directly or paying it into taxes, things are going to get worse and worse, until they either end with some version of a universal guaranteed minimum income, or revolution, which is the historical, traditional way of forcibly redistributing wealth when the rich are making astronomical amounts of money and living in unimaginable luxury (gold toilets? Really?) while everyone else barely scrapes by if they’re lucky and starves if they aren’t.

        13. Reltzik

          It’s a basic prisoner’s-dilemma-slash-tragedy-of-the-commons game theory thingie.

          When society’s average wages go up, (almost) every business benefits, because consumers have more money to spend. Revenues increase.

          When a particular business cuts wages, it can reap large benefits. The overall average wages of society drops by a little bit. More than what that one business benefited by. But the savings in wages more than offsets (for that particular business) the (very slight) drop in sales. Most of that is externalized to other shops anyway and it’s pretty hard to track back the dollar lost from one non-existent purchase to this-or-that manager’s decision to pay less. So it’s a good call for that one business to pay a lower wage, or offshore, or cut benefits, or all of the above.

          But that makes it a good call for almost every business. So they’ll all do it. And when they all do it, consumers hardly have any money to spend, sales slump, workers get laid off, managers lose benefits, individuals and businesses can’t pay back their debts, credit dries up, business that WERE getting buy don’t have a line of credit for day-to-day conveniences that they COULD have paid back, those businesses falter too, and the Wayback Machine lands us in 2008.

          And if any one business decides NOT to cut wages? They go under faster because they’ve got a slimmer profit margin.

          So what’s a government to do? Laissez fiare and let the whole thing collapse? Hoover tried that and proved that you lose elections with that shit. Or do you actually try to create a system of rules that benefit society as a whole?

          This is not about individual rights, anymore than having firefighters and public schools is about individual rights. It’s not about individual rights just like not letting people drive on the wrong side of the street isn’t about individual rights. This is about having a society that isn’t in a state of greed-fueled radioactive core meltdown.

          And when you do get that $15 hourly minimum wage, and still insist that you have a right to work for $7 an hour? That’s fine! Go ahead and donate the remaining $8 to a worthy cause.

        14. BBCC

          Also this – collective good.

        15. Hera

          The individual is more important.

        16. BBCC

          In this scenario? Bullshit.

        17. Reltzik

          Individuals suffer too.

        18. Shiro

          Bullshit. If society collapses the individual is screwed too. Occasionally we just have to accept that it’s good to help others because we’re trying to have a civilization here.

        19. Kryss LaBryn

          “The needs of the many outweigh the needs of the few. Or the one.”

          Study history. 😉

        20. Gizen

          The individual is NEVER more important. If it was then the ideal form of government would be anarchy.

        21. thejeff

          It’s not really a matter of “more important”, it’s that somewhat paradoxically, the only way to preserve individual rights is to impose some limits on them. We all accept that, even the libertarians (right to use force on others). The entire debate is about how to strike the right balance.

        22. Gesc

          That’s such an eastern way to see things.

        23. Hera

          I say let it collapse, let people learn so they can make better decisions in the future.
          Don’t get me started on donations….

        24. BBCC

          Because that ended so well last time.

        25. Reltzik

          Except everyone is making the best decision that they have available. That’s how the prisoner’s dilemma works.

          What we’re advocating is for the government — or hell, some independent group like labor unions or consumer boycotts, or maybe a mix of all of them — to apply some extra weight to those decisions, shift which ones are beneficial and by how much — so that everyone making the best decision available to them ISN’T a path that leads to meltdown.

        26. Liliet

          Except people making the shit decisions aren’t actually the same people who starve because of this.

          The problem with non-UBI capitalism is the amount of power one group of people ends up having over all the others. Capitalism is good where it gives you power to make decisions about your own life, but the moment it gives you power to make decisions about the lives of many many many people (ex: wages of Walmart employees) it’s time for the government to fucking pull on the reins.

        27. BBCC

          What does UBI stand for?

        28. Reltzik

          Universal Basic Income. What those crazy Canucks call the minimum wage.

          …. wait, that term only refers to French Canadians?

          …..

          *tiptoes backwards out of this minefield he’s wandered into*

        29. Kryss LaBryn

          Naw, we’re all Canucks up here. It’s not a derogatory term. 😉

          Incidentally, minimum wage and UBI are not the same thing. Minimum wage is the minimum hourly wage it is legal to pay your workers. It used to be enough to make a half-decent living on; this entire argument about making it $15 has been had before, back in the Eighties when it was first brought in, when the dollar was worth more. However, it wasn’t scaled properly to inflation the way it should have been, so each time it gets raised it causes a huge fuss in certain quarters (usually populated by those making significantly more than minimum wage) instead of just being an annual, quiet adjustment, along the lines of interest rates.

          UBI, though, would mean each person getting a minimum income, a regular cheque in the mail (or these days, deposited into their bank account), whether they were working or not, provided they made below a certain amount the previous year. You know your tax refund, how it’s sort of like free money once a year (when/if you get one)? Sort of like that, except it looks at what you made the previous year, and if you made less than a certain amount (let’s call it $35,000 for argument’s sake; it’s a number I’ve heard floated), or nothing at all, then it tops you up to that $35,000, spread out over twelve months, and readjusted annually as needed.

          If one is making more than $35,000, then one doesn’t get anything additional. But each and every adult will be making at least that $35,000 annually, regardless of whether they’re manning a cash register, or a stay-at-home parent, or taking a year off to “find themself”.

          I am all in favour of it; I hope it spreads to the other provinces really, really quickly! 😀

        30. CJ

          Well, you said you were no progressive.
          We might get a better society after a meltdown – unlikely because good decision making is a learned thing and you do not learn making good decisions if people around you make bad decisions, are in a panic or fighting for their lives – but that just throws currently living people under the bus because it will take a long time.

        31. Emily

          Your amoral disregard for the well being of anyone other than yourself is noted. Although, I shouldn’t be surprised it’s like a mandatory trait in order to be a libertarian.

        32. Fart Captor

          Yes, because the ONLY reason anyone has financial trouble now is bad decision making.

          It really just sounds like you want a system that works according to your set of rules. Not because they’re better rules, but because you think those rules would favor you.

        33. Carms

          nicely done

      2. Shiro

        If you can’t afford to pay people a living wage you can’t afford to start a business. And no matter what, businesses need people to work, so mass firings simply won’t happen.

        CEOs making millions upon millions can stand to see a tiny bit more of their record-high-percentage profits go to their workers.

        1. BBCC

          Pretty much. The majority of minimum wage jobs are at large corporate chains that will make billions even with a living wage being the minimum wage.

          As for small businesses, again, their problem tends to be low sales, so the solution for that is A) Shop there, B) Support government subsidies and grants for small businesses and C) Raise the minimum wage, because when people have more money to spend they tend to shop more and small business sales go up.

        2. Knayt

          There’s also the matter of how there are ways to reduce business costs per employee other than low wages. Universal healthcare not provided by a business makes it much easier to set up a small business, to pick the really obvious case.

        3. BBCC

          Also, it lowers turnover and ups productivity, which tends to lower operating costs.

      3. Carms

        If you’re a business that can’t afford to pay a living wage, you can’t afford to be a business.

      4. Li

        I’m so tired of people acting like anyone has a right to start a small business, or like an ideal economy wouldn’t have fewer of them than we currently do.

        The reason why the American dream is to start a small business is literally just because working for other people sucks so fucking much that we are all desperate to be the CEO instead of one of the hundreds of poor schmoes who have to work for that CEO, and it is an incredibly unsustainable plan. (We can’t all be business owners if no ones willing to be an employee.)

        If minimum wage were actually enough to support a family on — as it was DESIGNED to be — then you wouldn’t have to worry about all those people who “won’t be able to start a small business”, because 90% of them won’t WANT to anymore. (Starting a small business is hugely risky and exhausting while you can only really afford to hire yourself.)

        Personally I’m all for Universal Basic Income. The advancements we would all be enjoying if huge swaths of this country weren’t struggling to eat each day would blow all of our minds. This country is filled with people who would invent amazing shit, or produce amazing art, or both, who are currently stuck working 80 hours a week for sub-minimum wage just to not starve.

        1. Cerberus

          It’s also complete bollocks.

          Unless your “small business” is selling luxury yachts on the back of heavily exploited minimum wage labor, most businesses thrive under higher minimum wage, because the employees can afford the goods and more potential customers have the disposable income to spend on your shit, which is part of why places like Denmark that have really high Universal Basic Incomes tend to have higher entrepreneurship and why tech companies aren’t exactly fleeing Silicon Valley.

          Like UBI is the dream. If people could survive and take care of mental and physical health while staying alive and switch to jobs they like rather than jobs they stick around with, a lot of stuff would be fixed. Like, hell, the whole abusive corporate culture would be tanked, because abusive bosses would find all of their employees leaving and forming rival companies, which is why bosses in Denmark were way more open and supportive than in the States.

          Honestly, the system we have now of nickel and diming our lower and middle classes to death is horrendously unsustainable and has been on its last legs for awhile. Especially as so much of the US’s economy is wrapped up in Service jobs which depend on those groups holding those jobs having lots of disposable income to spend on stuff.

          *And if we’re being super real, it’s worth noting that profit is always stolen wealth and capital from labor, so the fact that labor is consistently screwed on reaping any benefits from that and that their screwing is part of what is driving the cult of continual profits for the few is kinda a human rights crisis we’ve all been snoozing on for far too long in this country.

        2. Halpful

          Yup. Too little competition -> maybe people get lazy/cocky/bored, maybe reliability and quality go down. Too much competition -> people *are* getting desperate/hopeless, resorting to suicide and/or violence. Or in Japan’s case, hikikomori.

        3. Delicious Taffy

          Hikikomori is a serious problem. Hell, we have some of them here in the U.S., myself being a borderline case.

    2. zoelogical

      niiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiice

      http://www.rawstory.com/2017/01/i-was-stunned-by-the-business-fast-food-ceo-says-profits-soared-after-minimum-wage-hike/

      that’s about all i know

  21. newllend(henryvolt)

    Respect my authoritah

  22. Some1

    I’m going to see if I can clear somethings up and make everyone happy (except assholes)

    1. Skating in a dorm is disruptive and kind of shitty

    2. This doesn’t make it okay to be transphobic to the skater, nor is it okay to destroy her skates.

    3. Carla should go outside and Mary should stop being shitty and a bigot

    1. Pigeon Pollyx

      Good call

      1. Some1

        To tell the truth, I would probably hate Carla if I lived in that dorm, I hate Mary way more when seeing the big picture, but as a straight male she would probably leave me alone for the most part (I would probably try to stop her if I knew what was going on though) But Carla’s skating would drive me insane.

        Plus Carla would make a good worthy opponent.

        1. Emperor Norton II

          I don’t think she’d consider you a worthy opponent, though.

        2. zoelogical

          idk joyce isn’t really on carla’s level but carla’s still playing

        3. Some1

          I was thinking of saying what I’d actually probably do (which would probably be calmly asking Carla to stop, and flipping her the bird when she refuses) but it’s too late for that, so let’s say screw morals…

          1. I would coat my hand in play dough, saying that I’m working on an art project, and offer her a hi-five

          2. I would then make a mold of her index inger and thumb…giving me access to anything that can be unlocked with those.

          3. I would be her a cheap but new looking pair of pants (with Ultra Car on them) “because we’re friends” but cut a slight phone sized hole in all of the pockets, so that the phone will only drop out when she’s moving quickly.

          4. I would calmly wait for her to not notice her phone drop out while she’s skating.

          5. I would pick up her phone and unlock it, before she can turn around and notice, giving me the chance to change her text settings so goddess automatically becomes butt sniffer.

          6. I would relock her phone, hand it back to her, saying she should be more careful, and destroy all the evidence.

          7. Then I would torch her house and murder her parents.

        4. Delicious Taffy

          See, 1-6 are just good fun. #7 puts you above every villain in the story so far.

        5. Some1

          That’s the joke.

    2. Reltzik

      4. It’s super-unsafe to skate down the dorm hallway backwards so fast that it produces speed lines when you (obviously) can’t see who’s standing right behind you.

      1. BBCC

        That is pretty much why skating in the halls is against the rules, since Willis has previously said it’s actually not that noisy skating on the carpet there.But Mary’s a curtain twitcher, and I’m pretty sure we should all know that by now.

        1. ValdVin

          Curtain twitcher? Never heard the term. Is it a la Respectable Street, the XTC song?

          “It’s in the order of their hedgerows
          it’s in the way their curtains open and close
          it’s in the look they give you down their nose
          all part of decency’s jigsaw I suppose”

        2. BBCC

          Pretty much – the folks who have to go check any audible noise outside their doors, at all, ever, and be a prick about how it’s a ‘nuisance’. They’re especially annoying in a shared living space like apartments, dorms, etc. where you’re not actually entitled to silence 24/7, but they like to pretend they are.

      2. Bicycle Bill

        I was going to say the same thing, more or less.  Skating in the hallway, even forwards, could maybe be overlooked; but skating backwards is just an accident looking for a place to happen.

        1. Emily

          Even going forwards you run the risk of someone simply opening a door close enough that you have no time to react.

    3. Tarmaniel

      Considering how often this gets referenced, I can’t help but wonder what level of meltdown I missed out on by not having been reading this comic yet during that plotline.

      1. BBCC

        TERFs. So many freaking TERFs.

        1. ValdVin

          (Hitting invisible like button.)

      2. rectilinearpropagation

        Pretty much the HIGHEST level meltdown. Way too many people showed up in the comments to demonstrate how much they disagreed with point #2.

        1. thejeff

          To be fair to the initial wave, the incident started out as a fairly innocent prank war and there was no indication at the start that Mary knew Carla was trans. It was reasonable at that point to think that “Mary was just trying to study”, though there were plenty of indications for the close reader that Mary was the kind of sneak/curtain twitcher who would likely overreact to any minor disturbance.

          When she, very coldly and deliberately, made the transphobic attack, it became clear that had been her motivation all along. Some posters may have been too caught up in their positions to see how the new info changed the argument. Others, of course, may simply have been transphobic.

          Those still arguing Mary’s case though? She’s the villain. You might want to think about why you’re on that side. Even as a “devil’s advocate”.

        2. Clif

          Down with anti-skating fascism.

    4. Kamino Neko

      One minor correction…

      1. Skating in the halls is dangerous and kind of shitty.

      Aside from that, agreed with what you say.

      1. Emily

        Why not both? It’s dangerous and disruptive.

        1. BBCC

          Because it’s not actually that loud, as evidenced by the fact nobody’s complaints about it are based on noise except Mary, who thinks that people having a quiet conversation down the hall is disruptive.

        2. Halpful

          Or the people it bothers are too shy/conflict-avoidant to say anything more direct than Joyce’s “I don’t think you’re supposed to be skating in the halls”. Or they’ve seen how little she cares about rules and don’t see the point of wasting time trying to get her to care.

          Heck, you’ve made this comment two or three times and only now am I saying anything. When I was Joyce’s age, if I’d lived in a dorm I’d just be curled up in my room waiting for the noise to stop so I could think again. :/ I did not have Dina’s amazing capacity for words or self-awareness back then, and high school had taught me that if you ask someone to stop doing something, they’ll do it more just to spite you. 🙁

          …wtf, firefox doesn’t remember my email on this computer. I’ve long since forgotten what I used for this account. no gravatar for me.

        3. Halpful

          my reply appears to be stuck in moderation (with the wrong email address), but no, people not complaining doesn’t necessarily mean they’re ok with it, just that directly complaining doesn’t seem worthwhile to them.

        4. BBCC

          People being too quiet to say anything is a possibility, but we’ve met most of the girls on the floor, and the only ones I can think of that might fit that are Dina and Amber.

          Regardless, Willis has said that her skating on the carpet isn’t actually that loud.

        5. Halpful

          oh, ok 🙂

        6. BBCC

          Hey, it’s no big deal. Like I said, it’s a valid possibility generally speaking, but in this specific case, it doesn’t seem to be true.

      2. thejeff

        Meh. From what I remember of college, it’s pretty far down on the list of “dangerous or disruptive things done in hallways”.

    5. Marsh Maryrose

      I don’t understand why Carla wants to skate in the halls (apart from getting to the outside from her room and vice versa). Skating on carpet is like running in knee-deep water.

      Plus, hallways are confining. The whole point of skating is freedom.

      1. Kamino Neko

        It’s indoor-outdoor carpet, if it’s anything like any dorm building I’ve been in. It’d be no harder to roll on than slightly bumpy concrete.

      2. thejeff

        Because she’s a mother fucking goddess on skates and she wants to skate everywhere. 🙂

      3. Cerberus

        Because it’s breaking the rules but in a relatively harmless manner and she’s a reflexive anti-authoritarian.

    6. smylietron

      No, noooo, it’s a well known fact that you can’t criticize Carla’s behavior without automatically validating Mary’s.

  23. Shiro

    Bisexual haircut! 😀 I didn’t know we’d be seeing it so soon. Ruth looks good.

    1. Dana

      I think if there were such a thing as a bisexual haircut bi invisibility wouldn’t be so much of a problem. The experience I draw that opinion from may be unrepresentative though; the most bi person I know has hair down to her butt.

      1. Shiro

        I give you: the bisexual haircut

        1. Kamino Neko

          Hmm…Korra and Max, yes, but I don’t remember Marceline showing any interest in guys. Or anyone aside from Princess Bubblegum, for that matter.

        2. Shiro

          Don’t remember Marcie’s ex boyfriend Ash that she kicked in the balls for being an abusive asswipe?

        3. Kamino Neko

          OH! No, I completely forgot about him, somehow. *slinks off embarrassedly*

        4. Shiro

          It’s okay! He was way early on. I just remember him vividly because that moment where she kicked his ass was SO cathartic for me. 😀

        5. Kamino Neko

          Yeah…when you reminded me of him, I remembered the episode, and I had a similar reaction when I watched it.

        6. Needfuldoer

          Indeed.

        7. ValdVin

          Tedd from EGS has had that haircut, but he’s built a gender transforming ray gun and enjoys using it on himself. Where does that place him?

          Thing is, I’m reading it (chronological order) and I’m only up to 2006. I really don’t know what happens next.

          http://static.tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pub/images/d6e1f6e5e0d233890eea236ed6854ec6.png

        8. Roborat

          Oh, you are in for a fun ride, that is a very good webcomic.

        9. Clif

          Agreed.

    2. Twirls

      Slander!
      The bisexual haircut is the undercut!

      1. Hera

        But I don’t want to cut my hair… :'(

      2. Shiro

        I was going to get one of those for ages, but then the alt right ruined undercuts :/

        1. Hera

          Why are you giving them power over you?
          Your hair, do what you want with it and don’t let ding dongs influence you!

        2. Li

          Not wanting to make anyone around you think you might be a Nazi isn’t really letting Nazis influence you.

        3. SarahSaur

          Wait are undercuts popular with white nationalists?
          (I live in a different country && Mostly spend time with relatively progressive folk – very little interaction with white nationalists. and certainly not american white nationalists, seeing as i am not in america — So this is a totally sincere question, I had not realaised they had stolen the look)

        4. Deviant

          White nationalists yes, but also people who are into synth subculture, hipsters and members of the brotherhood of steel.

    3. Cerberus

      She looks good in the bisexual haircut!

  24. Keulan

    You will respect Ruth’s authoritah!

  25. pl0x

    The haircut is awesome and I love it. Yes to haircuts!

  26. Fart Captor

    Carla makes some of the best faces. I love how expressive she is.

  27. Rummel

    As someone who skates super frequently, Carla is a magician for being able to skate so well on carpeted hallways. A+ job, Carla.

    1. MatsuoTanuki

      I do not envy the poor janitor who has to scrub out whatever skid marks she makes…

  28. Yotomoe

    Snitches get Stitches where I come from.

    1. Reltzik

      1. Carla doesn’t shank. She reprograms your phone’s ringtone.

      2. Carla kinda realizes that she deserves what’s coming to her, because she’s relapsed into a childish “Billie’s a tattler” mode rather than justifications.

    2. Fart Captor

      Where Ruth’s from they get smooches. :3

      1. Bagge

        Yes.

        “Smooches”.

        Don’t let Joyce know anything else they are doing, OK?

        1. Emperor Norton II

          *whispers very quietly*

          They get smooches on their vulva.

        2. Bagge

          Joyce: “IS THAT A THING????”

          Becky: “IS THAT A THING???”

        3. Reltzik

          …. I need to see faces for this dialogue.

        4. Needfuldoer

          Probably something like the last two panels of this one.

        5. Bagge

          Yes, I think that’s about right.

        6. Bagge

          Here is another candidate

          http://www.dumbingofage.com/2015/comic/book-5/03-the-butterflies-fly-away/applestoapples/

        7. Kamino Neko

          … Man, now I’m remembering the plot thread in Mononoke Academy about ‘lower kisses’…

        8. Bagge

          …this is one of those times I have to make hard choices about what will and will not show up in my search history, isn’t it?

        9. Kamino Neko

          Heheh. Yes, yes it is. It’s actually Mononoke Girls Academy.

        10. Roborat

          Yay, a new comic to read, off to the internets.

        11. Roborat

          Well, that is an interesting comic, just read the first chapter. Thanks for the new comic to read.

        12. Kamino Neko

          Happy to help. (And the first chapter’s last page is what really sold me on it. Ah, Pero.)

  29. Tacos

    Well Ruth’s new haircut looks nice.

    1. Bagge

      It sure does!

  30. crys

    shutting down those speed lines with a single hand… impressive 😛 ruth’s haircut looks very nice imo! though i have a thing for bangs + bobs… rachel comes to mind.
    i’m kind of annoyed at carla for “your dumb girlfriend” (but having trouble pinpointing why)

    1. Reltzik

      Because Billie’s still salty with Carla on the topic of Ruth for outing her outing them getting Ruth fired and sent home getting Sir Grampus called in to make Ruth’s existence hellish.

      1. Reltzik

        ….. erm, imagine that I didn’t strike-out that last one.

    2. rectilinearpropagation

      The general assumption that Ruth is going to be a pushover now?

    3. thejeff

      But also, because she’s Carla, an opportunity to refer to them as girlfriends because she’s happy she can openly do that, wrapped up in her snarky asshole disguise.

  31. rectilinearpropagation

    I fully expect Mary to show up grinning.

    I mostly expect Mary to also say something transphobic since she was convinced that Ruth attempting to defend Carla was a charade.

    1. Hera

      I want Carla to be the RA just to see Marys reaction.

  32. Tomas

    “So bullies never change, Rachel? Look at me now! I got a new hair style! Check and mate!”

  33. Delicious Taffy

    DAMN, Ruth. I saw a couple of images with the new ‘do, but that jersey makes it work.

    1. Delicious Taffy

      Re: Carla –
      UNDERSTAND UNDERSTAND
      UNDERSTAND UNDERSTAND
      UNDERSTAND UNDERSTAND
      THE CONCEPT OF LOVE (UH!)

  34. Jesse

    Her fringe makes it look like she has a box on her head.

  35. Tomas

    “Immigrant Song” plays on the hacked Muzak.

    Was this written before the Thor teaser dropped, the one with Hela catching Mjolnir with one hand?

    1. MatsuoTanuki

      Willis says somewhere that he has at least three months worth of strips ready at all times, so I feel safe saying that’s a yes.

      No surprise really, I’d be shocked if there isn’t a trope for casually catching a seemingly unstoppable object.

  36. Emperor Norton II

    So yeah, I’ve been more or less pretty absent in the comment field the last few months. And no real reason either: I’ve been cowardly withdrawing from the world to play video games (mainly FF X/X-2, the Kingdom Hearts remake, and the latest Zelda game) . Just goes to show how lucky I am, being able to do just that so easily. Feel free to slap me for this and not being there for someone who could have needed it (and I know at least one person who’s needed it). Oh, and also watching RuPaul Drag Race thanks to my wife. Bongos be fierce!

    So, to repent for this, I have no choice: I must do the long-ass recap comment, talking about both strip development and comments in my absence.

    So, starting from the horribl super-asshole called “sir” (without earning it), we now have Ruth and Billie both ready to lash out on people that doesn’t deserve it. Well, mostly doesn’t deserve it. In the comment field for the strip “funk”, people argue about mansplaining. And ScarvesandCelery manages the impossible, to start with “I know I’m going to get a lot of hate for this […]” and proceed with a well-thought out post that nobody hates. They talk about how neither Walky nor Billie are doing anything to root for in that strip.

    Meanwhile, Joe is, once again, being fucking Joe. And everybody loves Rachel for shutting him down. Goddamit do we all love Rachel for shutting that piece of shit down! In the comment field, Robot Hugs gets referenced. Why this does not happen every single strip, I don’t know. Maybe I should make an imperial decree or something.

    Ruth tries to make things better… And Rachel is again unleashed, making sure to tell Ruth that this isn’t some sort of movie or sit-com or something where everything gets solved in five minutes near the end. Harsh, harsh words… Yet also necessary, not only for Ruth, but also for Robin. I mean, I disagree that redemption is simply just a story, but it does take a lot of time and real effort for it to be meaningful. A LOT! In the comment field, a lot of argument goes on about what is going on in Rachel’s head. In the end, everyone agrees to still hate Mary.

    Next, Bec-

    …

    …

    …

    Sorry, I just died and had to be resurrected.

    Because Becky and Dina are so fucking ADORKABLE! More adorkable than the thought of Adore deLano and Jinx Monsoon having a little ki-ki chat where they sit in chairs next to a pond with ducklings in it! In the comment field, Bagge is squeeing so loudly that it pops everybody’s ear drums. Don’t ask me how that’s even possible. It just is. Shut up. No, -you- smell!

    I also learn several new terms for when someone stops a female from acquiring an intimate relation (not necessarily sexual, but definitely intimate) with someone they like. I end up liking “clamjam” the best.

    Next…

    next..

    next…

    Holy. Shit.

    I can’t. I just can’t.

    OK, deep breath…

    OK, so here is the thing: Remember way back when Amazi-Girl told Sal that she wears the mask to protect Sal from “her”? I remember writing back then that I thought of AG as the persona Amber created because she wanted a -controlled- outlet for the violent tendencies in her. Someone who had a certain peculiar set of rules that they follow. Someone who would fight to neutralize the opponent (preferably with flair and showmanship), not to actively hurt them.

    (Now, AG is obviously more than just a persona these days, but I do think that’s how it started.)

    This… is Amber without those controls. And it’s so sad to see. Not because of gashface, because I don’t really care much about that thing (yes, gashface is only a thing to me). But because this is something that helps Amber downwards in her spiral of self-hatred and depression. And when she finally hits rock bottom… she might not survive it.

    Next, Danny’s playing the ukulele!

    Wait, what?

    OK, that was one hell of a whiplash moment right there. Willis, I’ll send you the bill for my neckbrace.

    In the comment field, tomfoolery and shenanigans is happening. And people agreed that the ukulele is good. I think. It’s getting a bit late, and my brain’s getting mushy here.

    And then there was more Carla. And Cerberus rejoiced, which is good, because she has precious little to rejoice about as it is. Especially since Carla and Joyce are continuing to bond. It’s slow, but it’s happening.

    Elsewhere in the comment field, someone else is asking for clarification on a subject, specifically mentioning that they have been burned by Google before, so they are wary of trying it.

    They get told to google it.

    OK, pet peeve coming up here: Don’t be motherfucking snarky when someone genuinely asks about information! Really, just don’t. First of all, not everything is easily googlable. Certain issues in particular, you’re bound to get a whole lot of misinformation on that first page. Better to ask people you somehow trust to a certain extent.

    Secondly, this XKCD strip. This is the XKCD strip I have linked to more than any others (even more than the “someone is wrong on the internet” strip). Someone being ignorant (as in lacking specific knowledge) and wanting to fix this is a cause of celebration, because that means we get to teach them something new!

    Thirdly, and this is important: We learn better through social interaction than through googling. When we google stuff, it’s usually things we only need to know for a short while, then forget about it. When we talk about things, we retain that knowledge better.

    Fourth: We also become better humans through more social interactions. Because that means we keep getting reminded it’s not just about us.

    Anyway, where was I?

    Oh yeah, Becky’s being more adorkable. Well, that’s rather obvious, isn’t it? I’m afraid to read the comment field in case Bagge’s squeeing so loud that my kneecaps burst.

    And finally, Ruthless… is back. And now we are going to wait and see if she’s really changed, or if Rachel was right, and she was making a story.

    But one thing is certain: Billie and Ruth are still together. And anyone who doesn’t have Howard as a hostage should be afraid. Very, very afraid.

    1. Hera

      Now I at least know there isn’t a word count. oO

      1. Emperor Norton II

        One time, I did a long-ass comment with lots of links. I did mention that none of those links were to shitty websites such as 4chan or bad porn or anything; and I think Willis believed me, because that one got approved almost immediately.

    2. Reltzik

      You missed the most important part in the comments section.

      As of 6 days ago, Daniel has capitalized on the power vacuum in the wake of your absence, usurped your authority, is now styling himself as Emperor Daniel, and is issuing decrees under that title.

      (I can’t seem to link the post number to that, because it’s not a top-level comment, but just go back to the June 6 comments and do a find for “usurp”.)

      …..

      WB.

      1. Emperor Norton II

        Let’s just say that this Daniel is currently an honoured guest in one of the best suites that I have to offer.

        1. Emperor Norton II

          An offer he found himself strangely incapable of refusing…

        2. Emperor Daniel

          I can neither confirm nor deny that this has occurred to my person.

    3. Bagge

      The emperor is back, the emperor is back! *Bangs pots and pans*

      Hey, we have some royal business for you to handle. There are more than 342 lol-cats that need attention, and there is some shit with the DNS server. No, I don’t know which server. What do I look like, an emperor?

      Anyway, isn’t Becky just THE BEST???!!!! *SQUEEEEEEEEE*

      1. Emperor Norton II

        Only 342? I can do five hundred just between brunch and lunch. No big matter.

        Oh, and is it that DNS server or this DNS server? I used to force my captives to check this have people willingly help me take care of that stuff, but it seems they all left, as all I can find are skeletons in their dungeon cells spacious rooms… I’m assuming they are all playing some practical joke on me. Anyway, I’ll see if I can figure out what’s going on. Maybe the VPN is playing around with the IP protocol and reversing polarities or something.

    4. BBCC

      YAY! You’re back! <33333

      Welcome back, Your Majesty.

    5. Shiro

      Welcome back!

    6. SarahSaur

      Glad you are back! Was actually on the verge of asking if anyone knew where you were!

      1. Emperor Norton II

        Awww, that’s so nice.

        And a reminder that just in case something should happen to me, I should probably have a way of making it known to people in here. After all, you’ve earned that after having to see me making novellas out of a single word or posting about 40 links to Dina strips just because Dina is the best.

    7. Cerberus

      *hugs* Welcome back!

      1. Emperor Norton II

        *superhugs back*

    8. Clif

      Glad you’re back.

    9. Delicious Taffy

      I can’t help it if Google is unreliable.

  37. NoOneLikesRobin

    God, Carla would be exasperating to hang out with in real life. I enjoy her in the strip, but every time she shows up I can’t help but think to myself “nobody would like her if she was on my dorm hall”.

    1. BBCC

      Implying people who aren’t Sal (and Joyce, but Joyce likes everyone but Mary, so she doesn’t count) on this floor like her?

    2. Shiro

      Really? Because I can think of several “loveable assholes” that are much more irritating than Carla that are beloved by my friend circles.

      Granted, those are all dudes. It seems girls have less leeway to be “loveable assholes”–but that’s probably a contributing factor to why I like Carla so much, she flips the double-bird to ALL the entrenched social standards.

      1. StClair

        I (personally) know a couple of girls who definitely fit the description.

        But in general, yes, I do have a low tolerance for the type.

      2. Cerberus

        And trans people are allowed zero room to be lovable assholes, so yeah, I’m loving her being that full of confidence.

    3. Kamino Neko

      There’s a lot of characters I love in various media, that I know I wouldn’t be able to stand in real life. Carla’s one of them. Mostly because as a character, I get to see past her asshole costume a lot more than I would IRL.

      1. NoOneLikesRobin

        I think this is part of it, yeah. We know who Carla is, we know what she’s gone through, we know where she’s come from, so we have a more three dimensional view of her.

        Whereas if you were actually living on this hall and had to deal with narrowly getting knocked over just about every day and your main interaction with this person was always a “fuck the rules and fuck you” contrarian attitude, you’d probably find yourself thinking real quick “All right, we get it, you want attention. Maybe just try acting normally for a day, see how it works out”.

        But she’s fun to read about. As are all the assholes in the strip. I think that’s kind of the point: College kids are kind of dipshits, people you roll your eyes at and go “okay, whatever”. It’s a wonderful journey to watch them slowly learn “oh, maybe I shouldn’t be a fucking asshole all the time”.

        1. thejeff

          And yet, that’s not how people on the floor react to Carla. Which may be a sign that her asshole routine is easier to see through than you might think.

          Maybe her skating isn’t as dangerous as it seems either – though the speed skating backwards is probably a bad plan.

        2. NoOneLikesRobin

          From my own experience, going high speed through an area where people don’t normally expect high speeds to occur is generally a bad idea. Especially backwards.

    4. Liliet

      I know I would probably find Carla to be very fun to live around. Skating noise is worth knowing that there currently is someone skating in your hall :]

      I just… really really like the very Chaotic Good principle that Carla lives her life by.

      1. Emily

        I mean until you come out of your room and they slam in you and give you a concussion, sure.

        1. NoOneLikesRobin

          I mean yeah, this is really it. A hall skating rebel that says “fuck the system” every day is cute and all until you’re late for class and carrying a binder with your project/essay in it and some coffee or something and she slams into you, spilling it all over your papers and your shirt. Then it dawns on both of you “oh, right, a lot of rules are there for a reason”. Fortunately, the DOA cast lives in a world where that kind of thing doesn’t happen unless it’s time for a specific character to experience some growth, so we get to enjoy our chaotic good skater for now.

    5. Deviant

      I’m pretty sure that Carla’s behavior comes from having noone to hang out with. Notice that she is by herself most of the time in this comic.

      I think she may not have any friends, she’s trying to get peoples attention :C

      1. Emperor Norton II

        And the reason she has no one to hang out with is mainly because she is a transwoman. I.e. subject to a hell of a lot of horrible bullshit from people around her, adults and kids alike. At best, this bullshit is misguided. At worst (and more often), it is plain evil. And she’s probably learned that “allies” are often unreliable as hell and most likely won’t have your back when you really need them to, so she’s not easily hanging out with them either.

        Her behaviour is in fact armour. It’s deflection from people trying to hit her with that bigoted bullshit. By trying to get a reputation as an a-hole, she will instead be hit by that… And those hits won’t hurt her to the core. After all, it’s not who she really is, so how can it hurt her? It would be like Jack Gleeson being hurt over people talking about how mean Joffrey is.

        Plus, like most LBGQT teens, her faith in authority is pretty much non-existent, because said authority has time and again shown to be a major part of the BS, instead of stopping it. For someone like me, the laws in the country I live in mainly exist to protect me. For someone like Carla, they don’t. Either by anti-bigotry laws not being properly enforced, or by horrible lawmakers outright trying to discriminate against her. I wouldn’t end up trusting authority much either if I was her.

        BUT

        It’s also very clear that it is all armour, it is a facade. Because when the chips are down and you need her help, Carla will motherfucking have your back! Sure, she’ll pretend she’s not doing it, or pretend she’s doing it just to feel superior, etc…. But no matter how much she protests, she will still help the best she can. She just can’t afford to show vulnerability, because she’s already experienced too many times how the -real- bastards out there will pounce on any sign of weakness.

        1. Deviant

          I wasn’t attacking or criticizing Carla or people in her situation.
          I was observing that she actions seem to come from loneliness.

          I relate and emphasize with her, having had a bit of experience with that stuff myself during my school years. Not even close to the extent that a lot of LBGQT-people have gone through though.

        2. Emperor Norton II

          Oh yeah, I could have been more clear on this: I agree that she is lonely. I just wanted to expand on why she is lonely. And that the reason she is lonely is one shared by far too many people out there.

          Apologies for not making this clearer. And yes, I too can relate, but only to a certain extent. I was simply “weird kid”, that got semi-regularly bullied; not systematically targeted with the hopes of having me kill myself.

        3. NoOneLikesRobin

          I think it’s a vicious cycle. She’s been stabbed in the back and had barbs slung at her because of who she is all the time, which causes her to throw up this “fuck you” armor, which does her no favors when it comes to friends. People like that tend to quickly devolve into “I don’t need friends” mentality, which is really sad because yes you do, mental health-wise. Hopefully we see Carla melt a little bit and get some really true friends that stick by her.

        4. thejeff

          Except she melts all the time – she just keeps up the facade while helping. Opening up to Sal. Patching up Amber. Checking up on Ruth for Billie.

          Carla’s really bad at being an asshole.

        5. Deviant

          Perfecting shower slippers for Joyce 😀

        6. NoOneLikesRobin

          By “melts” I mean her facade. We know Carla’s a good person deep down. Hopefully Carla gets to a point where she feels she can go “Oh, I don’t have to have this armor on ALL the time, there are people who I can be myself around”.

        7. Cerberus

          Yup, the whole thing creates a double-bind. She cares what others think of her and wants to do rights by others, but is scared if she is kind and helpful she’ll get beaten again and that the only way to avoid it is to play up being a rebel grrl.

          So yeah, she cloisters herself inside for safety and to rest from the transphobic violence, but that’s also super lonely, so she finds avenues for connections that she deems safe. Whether that be skating through the halls were everyone can see her but she can skate away quickly from any danger or hanging out with Sal and the crew late at night where there’s unlikely to be anyone around.

          Honestly, I find her duality fascinating. She tries to own the exact things she’s scared about as almost a challenge to the world to come at her. “Everyone will hate me, if I’m not the perfect girl”, so I’ll play up a rep of being an asshole brat. “I’m worried my height or body shape clocks me and that might lead to violence”, so I’ll ride on skates that make me ever taller and wear short shorts and high skirts…

  38. Bagge

    You fool around
    You are stopped dead in your tracks
    You turn around
    You see Ruth.
    She sees you

    *Common Clark wing nightmare*

    1. Kernanator

      I hear that if you say “Ruthless” into a mirror three times at midnight, she comes out of the mirror to rip out your femurs.

      1. Bagge

        True story. Happened to Jane…. Oh, you don’t know Jane? EXACTLY

  39. Bagge

    LEAKER! #Sad

  40. Rukduk

    Does anyone else read Carla’s expression in the final panel as being slightly impressed?

  41. Reltzik

    You missed the most important part in the comments section.

    As of 6 days ago, Daniel has capitalized on the power vacuum in the wake of your absence, usurped your authority, is now styling himself as Emperor Daniel, and is issuing decrees under that title.

    (I can’t seem to link the post number to that, because it’s not a top-level comment, but just go back to the June 6 comments and do a find for “usurp”.)

    …..

    WB.

    1. Reltzik

      ….. this was supposed to be a reply to Emperor Norton. Blargh, reposting that back up there. Sigh. Times like this, I wish we had an edit button.

      1. Emperor Norton II

        We graciously forgive you, if only because We love getting attention, and the more comments about Us, the better.

        1. Some1

          I will destroy you! I will also destroy Emporer Daniel! I will not rest until this comment section is a democracy (Willis is pretty much God here so he doesn’t count)

        2. Emperor Norton II

          We will allow this, if only because We are, after all, emperor of All of Internet, and as such, one tiny little comment field playing at democracy does not bother Us in the slightest.

        3. BBCC

          Speaking of – Your Majesty, Reddit and 4chan are still cesspits. What is your government planning to do about them?

        4. Some1

          As much as I hate 4chan, they could be useful.

          Look you have to make some dark choices when fighting what I assume is a hive mind that controls the internet.

        5. BBCC

          …..Do you REALLY want to see the kind of democracy 4chan and Reddit would build?

        6. Some1

          I like Reddit! 4chan is more like teaming up with Russia to stop the Nazis.

        7. BBCC

          Teaming up with Russia didn’t end well after the Nazis were stopped though. See the Cold War.

        8. Reltzik

          …. so in this metaphor, who are the Nazis that 4chan’s willing to team up against, again?

        9. Reltzik

          Because if it’s Emperor, I’d question whether the cure is worse than the disease.

          I mean, his rule is so light we don’t even notice it in day-to-day life. He’s less an evil overlord with an iron fist and more of a modern British royal.

          ….

          …. so forget allying with the Soviets. I guess the real question is, are you committed enough and capable of enough moral compromise to team up with the paparazzi?

        10. Hera

          “Democracy, Imagine you are in a club and you and all the psychopaths there decide to vote on what to do, you vote for listen to music and talking, everyone else votes for raping you with switch-blades.
          That’s democracy.”

          Paraphrasing a much longer thing.

        11. thejeff

          @Hera: As much as I disagree, I can’t not approve of Spider Jerusalem quotes.

        12. Eldritch Gentleman

          @BBCC
          I don’t know… Cold War boosted technological progress. Did not result in genocide of the ethnic groups and never really erupted into a Hot war which would have cost Humanity majority of it’s population.

          So yeah allying with Russians wasn’t THAT bad.

        13. BBCC

          The Soviet empire committed a lot of attempted genocide actually. The big one off the top of my head is the Crimean Tatars.

          It also led to a lot of senseless proxy wars and the US meddling in democratically elected governments that were too socialist or too communist for their liking, which ended up biting them in the ass a couple decades later.

        14. Clif

          Still Better than nukes which is how WWII ended. Defeating Hitler without Russia to bog him his forces down was problematic.

        15. BBCC

          Teaming with Russia was better than the alternatives, but it doesn’t mean the fallout ended well.

        16. Some1

          You think my rebellion stops here? The hive mind will fall and you will fall with it!

        17. BBCC

          I for one welcome the return of our (mostly) benevolent imperial overlord!

        18. Emperor Norton II

          Hmm, I need to work on my hive mind program; that “(mostly)” was not supposed to be there…

        19. BBCC

          And the fact you say that is why it was. 😀

        20. Emperor Daniel

          I will also team up with you to defeat this “Emporer” Daniel! Such a title is a travesty against good spelling!

  42. MasakiSayz

    I just wanna say that I love Carla.
    She’s not what most call the “best” character, she has a hard time being emotionally honest/responsible sometimes, and seems like the type to display affection through light teasing rather than directly (Not referring to the Rube Goldberg machine incident, this is just something I’m guessing at from her behavior) but she’s my favorite.
    More Carla would be the only thing Willis could do to make me enjoy this comic more.

  43. Mendel

    Actually, this explains why Mary was being nice to Carla: Carla skating in the halls means Ruth fails at being a RA, which is what Mary wants.

    A couple of people commented that Mary was focused on Ruth and Billie, but nobody spotted that connection.

  44. Eldritch Gentleman

    Time for some calm, cool-headed justice to be served.

  45. BenRG

    Seriously, Carla? No-one can text that fast. I think that the real cause is a bit closer to home, specifically the fact that you were being loud enough to wake the dead. Ruth would have to been co not to have heard you racing back and forth!

    Now, I think that you should focus on more important things like explaining to your ever-smiling and friendly why you thought it was cool to diss her girlfriend!

    1. BenRG

      That sound have read “would have to been comatose” by the way. Darn Flash Player adverts causing the site to hang every few seconds!

    2. Bagge

      Oh, they have an app for Carla Warning. All you have to do is press a button to alert the RA.

      Carla developed it. It’s good for her reputation, see.

      1. SarahSaur

        Perfect.
        (I think I have a comment in moderation saying the same thing but with the wrong email address)

    3. Kamino Neko

      The only one being noisy here is Billie.

      Carla is just being careless and likely to cause an accident.

  46. Carms

    I love Carla, and I think I like her better when she gets appropriate consequences for her actions. Let to run rampant she’s a menace, as a target for transphobia-motivated vengeance she’s a locus of angry, but I’m anticipating something reasonable and sensible for her to bounce off here and that just mkes it better =D

  47. Danni

    ruth’s expression was me today at work

    1. Kamino Neko

      Was me every day at work at my last job, for the last year or so before I quit. (In the middle of a shift. It was that terrible a job.)

      1. Danni

        fuck that sucks!

        1. Kamino Neko

          Yeah, it was…yeah. After I quit, he claimed he fired me. He was a gem.

  48. Danni

    fuck that sucks!

  49. Reltzik

    ……

    Okay, time for me to be serious.

    ….. what do you mean I’m exceeding my quota of late? Okay, here, FINE, I’m talking to an imaginary critic! Does that fulfill my silliness requirement? No? TOO BAD, I’M GOING TO TALK SERIOUSLY HERE!

    Billie’s been acting as Ruth’s second-in-command or assistant for a while now. Picking up her slack, running errands for her, letting her know of brewing problems, looking out for her mental health in small ways and large, reminding her of tasks and pushing her to do them, communicating displeasure and aggression towards those that Ruth wants to but can’t…

    … and I have to wonder, just how much is that an inappropriate and/or dysfunctional relationship given their romance?

    I mean, okay, things are working fine just now. (… actually no, the two are many kinds of messed up, but this part’s working fine.)

    But what happens to their working dynamic if they have a big fight? If they break up? Not even asking about the emotional level here, but will Ruth’s job performance suffer from the vacuum when that assistant gets moved to a different floor? How many different ways are the romantic entanglements going to sabotage Ruth’s ability to do her job?

    And isn’t Billie effectively doing unpaid work here? Not because she’s naturally bringing order to chaos — she didn’t before she got involved with Ruth — but because of their relationship? How much is she getting screwed over? (No, not like that. Well, yes like that, but other than that?) How much of her own separate identity is she losing by joining herself at the hip to Ruth?

    And how much is management going to look askance at this? Billie shouldn’t be wielding authority over a dorm wing on her own. She doesn’t have her own authority. She’s borrowing Ruth’s. She’s not abusing it yet, but she could, and that’s an authority that the college hasn’t vetted. (And given her DUI, probably wouldn’t approve if they had.)

    Ruth’s not supposed to be wielding authority over Billie, and yet she has to give instructions every time Billie needs correcting on how to do the job, like at the floor meeting. The “assistant” position demands that from time to time.

    Mary gets to use the relationship as a weapon to continue terrorizing Carla. (I don’t know what she has planned after their most recent encounter, but still. Mary.)

    If the RM (or someone more alert) gets wind of that, what kind of hammer will they feel the need to bring down?

    I’m not disapproving of their relationship. It’s troublesome on some levels but seems to be good for them both on many more. But looking at it from a power-dynamic standpoints, in terms of inappropriate fraternization and lines of authority, there’s SO MANY PROBLEMS and so many of those are on display here.

    1. Emperor Norton II

      I don’t know about you, but whenever I state it’s time to get serious, I often end up being even sillier for a while. Am I so anti-serious, I don’t even listen to myself when I say I should be serious?

      1. Hera

        So you are in effect violating an imperial decree? (Even if it’s your own)

    2. Fart Captor

      I think we’ve already seen what constitutes as “the hammer” for Chloe. It’s one of those toy mallets that squeaks when you hit things.

      1. Clif

        Also we saw Billie solving RA type problems back when her relationship with Ruth was still in the abusive phase. What authority she wields has more to do with competent cheerleader problem-solver mode personality than with Ruth.

  50. BenRG

    You know, I bet that Ruth is going to be quiet, reasonable and even somewhat sisterly and friendly to Carla, gently reminding her that she could cause an accident and that she needs to think before she acts. That will only reinforce Carla’s fear that she’s woken up in either the Bizarroverse or in The Twilight Zone.

    1. Eldritch Gentleman

      She’ll be too weirded out to even argue back.

    2. Vulcanodon

      “Submitted for your consideration: Carla Rutten. A young woman about to skate directly past her expectations into an interaction she never saw coming…”

      1. Clif

        No-one expects – the femorless zone.

  51. Eldritch Gentleman

    Wait… that shirt… those red hair… ho boy. Ruth is about to unleash Unlimited Blade Works on Carla XD

    1. Delicious Taffy

      I support this concept.

    2. Teh Jammah

      Your femurs are the bone of her sword…

  52. DarkoNeko

    finally.

  53. BenRG

    Am I the only one who thinks that Carla delivered that last line in a sweet little girl’s voice? “Biwwee’s a tattler!“

    1. Bagge

      You are not the only one that think so NOW, no. Now when I read it, I completely agree on it.

      In fact, I think she does her best Joyce impersonation.

  54. Plutoniarch

    It’s good to see that some things never change.

  55. JasonAW3

    Ok, this is all fun and games with Carla, Billie and Ruth, but…

    WHAT ABOUT AMBER, DORTHY AND RYAN?!?

    1. chris73

      And Danny and Joe

      1. Clif

        And Walky and Jason.

        1. Jhon

          And Malaya and Lucy.

  56. Scar Man!!!

    New hair?

  57. Halpful

    aha, found the right email address, I think.

  58. C.T Phipps

    Carla gets her femurs removed and has to have her brain patterns transferred to a crime-fighting car!

  59. DashingDeinonychus

    Question: if Carla had kept skating for a little while longer, would she have hit 88 miles an hour and gone back to the future?

    1. Reltzik

      That depends.

      Was she ever IN the future in her (subjective) past? If not, then no. You can’t go back to a time you’ve never been to in the first place.

      If so? Then… well, yes. Obviously. She would time travel into the future. Of course, she’d do that regardless of how fast she was traveling in space.

      1. thejeff

        Though how fast she travels into the future does depend on how fast she’s moving through space.

  60. LrgShadow

    Yeah. But is Ryan dead?

    1. C.T Phipps

      Eh, who cares. Ryan is a minor plotline anyway! Back to antics! 🙂

    2. BBCC

      Almost certainly not.

  61. chiscii

    Ruth is a superwoman for stopping Carla on her tracks with a single hand but Carla is a fucking goddess for not faceplanting after being stopped on her tracks so far off her center of gravity

  62. BP

    Green eyes and a haircut … small good signs are still good signs. :3

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