292

Missed
Posted on February 28, 2014 by David M Willis

292 thoughts on “Missed”

  1. The Meek Ninja

    Two sides of the same coin. The yin and Walky.

    1. Jen Aside

      Win and Wang?

      no wait that’s the same side

      1. ZORK

        More like the Weenus and the Wang?

        1. anonymous

          But the weenus for the win. I love my elbow underside!

        2. Jen Aside

          True (awful) story: There was a mass outrage over things our class had printed in our high school senior yearbook [in Conservativeville, Bible Belt]–for instance, two girls talking about scratching one’s wenis.

          [fwiw, a bunch of our class complained, “I can’t believe they were offended over this… and not THIS!”]

        3. WordSmyth

          Wouldn’t that be the outside of your elbow? It rotates and changes position so it only really has an inside and an outside.

        4. Cthulhu21

          Redundant yet funny

    2. Doctor_Who

      I’m just saying, if the last panel of today’s strip had been the last panel of “Walky Performs a Sex”, it would have altered the entire thing.

      1. jbear

        yes. i haven’t read it but yes.

  2. Tunaro

    Oh, Walky, you embody everything right about college.

    1. jaimehlers

      Actually, he embodies everything that’s wrong about college – speaking from the perspective of someone who ended up going back to college because of a lackadaisical attitude the first time around.

      Oh, I didn’t exactly do badly that first time, I just got tired of the whole thing and dropped out. Then I found out just how much it sucks to work food service, factory jobs, and paper routes to try to make a living.

      Honestly, I think we’d do much better if we had a “live on your own” period, say from 18 to 20. Having to get a job to try to pay the bills, and more importantly keep it, and discovering just how tedious most unskilled labor really is, would go a long way towards improving the perspective of people who eventually did go to college.

      To be blunt, unless someone gets jerked up short by the requirements of real life, they’re not going to realize how important college really is.

      1. Toes14

        jaimehlers – I had a similar situation to yours. It taught me an important lesson that waiting tables & working as a bank teller was not what I wanted to do in life. That lesson and a renewed work ethic with better medium & long range goals served me very well in the 25 years since then.

        Some people just learn better & receive more motivation after being ‘slapped around by life’ a little bit.

        1. Tachyon

          Then there’s my situation, which is just the opposite – I’ve had less motivation to “aim high” since attending college than I ever had before.

          This is now my 7th year attempting to figure out just how to get where I’m going when I finally “grow up”, as I’ve changed my major several times despite getting pretty uniformly high grades in most subjects. I still have to complete my 8th year, and though getting the grades is not a problem for me, staying in school is still going to be difficult.

          By now, I’ve found that classes are dreary and repetitive, the lessons they teach are roundabout when they are not redundant, and from what I’ve seen “academic achievement” at the community college level apparently only goes so far: when I’m done, all I’ll have is an Associate’s, probably several thousand in student loans to pay off (I have yet to take any out, and even so that would not be so bad compared to University costs, but it’s still a lot considering I’m poor and unemployed), and a job search to commit myself to completely.

          That last part is the real kicker, since what I’ll wind up with after my 8th year will still be entry level jobs. I started taking higher education seriously after about my third year out of high school, so as you can imagine, I’m oooooooooolllld. And that does not bode well for employability at that level of employment.

          I guess what I’m getting at is that it’s easy for people who experience eventual success to say that they merely got slapped around by life, but from the looks of things there are some people life intends to take a big dump all over after it’s done slapping them around.

  3. Wonder Wig

    I am a bronze god.

    1. Aizat

      I am a biotic god.

      1. metroidwave

        I am the cheese

        1. Tunaro

          I am Spartacus!

        2. Aizat

          I AM A MAN! -punch-

        3. Bill

          I am a caramel god.

        4. Aizat

          I AM THE ONE WHO KNOCKS!

        5. GoSpeedRumpist

          I am a man of constant sorrow

        6. Accidental

          I’m BATMAN.

        7. Jeff K!

          I am the revelation! The Tiger-Force at the core of all things! When you cry out in your dreams it is Darkseid that you see!

        8. Opus the Poet

          I’m a guy with a bicycle. I don’t get gas very often, I use Beano.

        9. ProfNekko

          IM THE DUDE DISGUISED AS A DUDE DISGUISED AS ANOTHER DUDE

        10. ShaggyDonahugh

          I am He Who Walks Behind

        11. Bill

          I am Vinz Clortho.  I am the Keymaster.

        12. Van Jealous

          I y’am what I y’am!

        13. Gamaran Sepudomyn

          I am Godzilla!

        14. kozimek

          I am a velociraptor.

        15. Farmer_10

          I AM THE WINTERBORN!

        16. Kryss LaBryn

          I’m actor Troy McClure.

        17. ComMac

          I’m Jacks inflamed sense of rejection!

        18. Tenn

          I’m just zis guy, you know?

        19. Mo

          I am a rock! I am an iiiiiiisland!

        20. MatthewTheLucky

          It’s a-me, Mario!

        21. Just Cheeto Dust

          I am the cream!

        22. Dragonfire

          I am the walrus!

        23. Turbo Sexaphonic Delight

          Koo koo kachoo!

        24. Kamino Neko

          Goo goo ga joob.

          Koo koo kachoo was Mrs Robinson.

        25. Tenn

          @Kamino Neko: I now consider you an awesome person. ^_^

        26. Dibullba

          I am the terror! I am the night!!!

        27. Betty Anne

          I am the terror that FLAPS in the night!

        28. Ancestral Hamster

          “No, I’m Spartacus!”

        29. Kinoko

          “I’M BRIAN BLESSED!”

        30. Jammy

          And I’m Javert! Do not forget my name! Do not forget me!

        31. TCS

          I will not be forgotten! I am King Irrelevant!

        32. datbootydoee

          24601~

      2. derick

        *Nudge*

        1. Aizat

          But…great wind…biotic god.

        2. Ancestral Hamster

          DUDE! Stop breaking wind! :p

    2. etybolik

      I am a caramel god.

    3. abitoflunacy

      I am Inigo Montoya. You killed my father. Prepare to die.

    4. Tsakta

      I am the terror that flaps in the night!

      1. Saburo

        Me Bizarro am perfect imperfect duplicate!

      2. Betty Anne

        Dammit. I should have read this far downthread before I replied to the person above. XP

      3. xKiv

        I AM ERROR!

    5. Roborat

      What, nobody is Batman?

      1. Jaxx Sentinel

        I am Murloc

    6. Malebranche

      I AM LIKE AS UNTO A GOD

    7. Animal

      I am the guy your mother warned you about.

      After I banged her.

      For a nickle.

    8. AdinaLaura

      I am Lord Voldemort

    9. Cragalanch

      I’m the best, around! Nothin’s ever gonna bring me down!

  4. Odin

    Chalk up +1 for opposites attracting.

  5. Quatoria

    Wow. This is even worse than jean pajamas.

    1. Levi

      PAJAMA JEANS ARE AWESOME. WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT. PAJAMA JEANS ARE AWESOME.

      1. MrPotamus

        Your gravatar would argue differently

      2. Sambo

        She said jean pajamas. Pajama jeans are awesome. Jean pajamas would just be AWFUL. *shudder* can you IMAGINE it?? Joing to bed wearing a shirt and pants made out of JEANS!

        1. Quatoria

          yesssssss

  6. Doctor_Who

    I relate to Walky so much in this strip. This discovery my freshmen year was a life-changing revelation.

    I didn’t have a cute blonde in bed next to me when I had it, though, so Walky has me beat.

    1. David Herbert

      Yeah, same, I loved that I could skip class without consequence since my college didn’t really care as long as you passed the course.

      1. David

        The thing about the “no consequence” is that if you are a “get everything without having to learn” type, that does not transform into “get everything without even hearing about it”.

        1. Kevin

          I have a professor this quarter who goes so far off on terrible extended analogies and minutia he doesn’t include in homework or exams, I can cover 2 hours of lecture material in 5 minutes of flipping through his slides on my own time.

          The best part is every single thing he is teaching us is review, so that 5 minutes usually isn’t necessary.

        2. Daibhid C

          Yeah, I remember feeling much the same as Walky when I came to the realisation that I could miss classes.

          I also remember feeling much the same as Dorothy when I realised I was going to fail everything because I kept missing classes. (Well, that and it turned out undiagnosed dyscalcula and physics aren’t a great mix. But I think I could have worked past that if so much of the coursework had been completely absent from my record.)

    2. Yotomoe

      Walky has everyone beat. He fucking turns more lemons into lemonade than Christ.

      1. Plasma Mongoose

        I didn’t know that Jesus was in the lemonade business, they must have skipped that factoid in Sabbath School.

        1. Doctor_Who

          Turning lemons into lemonade was one of his less impressive miracles. Especially since someone in the audience had to provide water and sugar.

          Still beats pulling a drachma from someone’s ear.

        2. Opus the Poet

          Yeah, it was what he did before doing the wine thing for the adults at that wedding. Lemonade for the kids and wine for the adults, but the guy that wrote the version everybody remembers didn’t give a crap about the lemonade because he wasn’t a kid.

        3. Roborat

          Yea, they skip over that, because the method of fucking lemons to make lemonade squicked everybody out.

  7. Yotomoe

    Even if we hadn’t seen Walky’s parents this would have been a dead give-away that Walky’s mom isn’t black.

    1. KevinGriffin3CD

      Dammit Yotomoe, stop being casually racist.

      1. Sageress

        Either be racist overtly or not at all.

        1. Sensedog

          I laughed at Yotomoe’s joke. Hey now, everyone is a little bit racist.

        2. Yotomoe

          I’m a little bit Racist, and I’m a little bit social justice…
          Don’t remember the rest of the lyrics.

        3. Leonou

          Yeah I really hate this song.
          Instead of meaning “everyone has unconscious stereotypes and should be aware of it to be able to improve themself”, it ends of like “well everybody is prejudiced, so it’s no big deal”.

        4. Kevin

          I thought Sensedog was referencing the Avenue Q song, but I have no idea what Yotomoe is referencing, but you seem like you’re referencing the Avenue Q song. If you are, I think the latter meaning you provided was the intended meaning.

        5. Leonou

          Yes I was talking about Avenue Q. And this being the intended message is what makes the song terrible.

        6. Yotomoe

          I’m just singing “I’m a little bit country” with a bit more modified lyrics.

        7. icepyrox

          I dunno if being the other side of the coin makes it terrible. What you want is the message that we should be aware of our actions and not be offensive. The given message that we shouldn’t walk around with a chip on our shoulder because we’re all human isn’t a terrible message either.

        8. Sensedog

          Exactly. Thank you.

      2. Lucas

        Perfect thumbnail pic for that comment

      3. AgentKeen

        The dress code calls for at least business-casually racist.

        1. Thasvaddef

          KKK robe with the top button undone?

        2. Kamino Neko

          Bottom button, you philistine!

          Priorities, yay!

      4. Badeyes

        Racism demands formality dammit.

    2. Idon'tcarenomore

      Reality strikes. And gets delayed reactions on two different reactions.
      Love it.

      A bit confused by the ‘you can tell Walkys mother isn’t black”, comment.

      What the Hell does’ that mean anyway. That only black mothers scare their kids into going class and white mothers don’t care…or what?

      1. Yotomoe

        It was mostly a joke. If Walky was half Asian I would’ve said the same thing probably.
        And typically other races push education more because we can’t afford to go ass-backwards through life so yeah :P.

        1. Plasma Mongoose

          Yotomoe does the racism so we honkies don’t have to. 😛

        2. Idon'tcarenomore

          Yotomoe you are so full of yourself. Ya poor you, you gotta pay for your college.
          Well, I’m white female and paid for my college while I worked 2 jobs and raised my daughter. Took me 6 years for a 4 year degree. But I would do it again. And I pushed her to go to school while she was young and not waste it as I had done. Waiting doesn’t help.

          Get over yourself Yotomoe. Asians and Blacks are not the only people in this country who want, and push their kids to get decent educations.

          In case you hadn’t noticed, it is getting poor out here for everybody…except the 1%.

          Funny how most of your ‘jokes’ seem to have a wee bit of a racist tinge to them. Or aren’t they, because you’re a minority? I got a feeling if I made that joke, I’d surely be told off for it.

        3. kelticat

          Technically, we are a minority due to that little double X-factor(oh how I wish I had mutant powers).

        4. David Willis

          Man, please don’t turn this into a “howcome black people can tell jokes about black people and I can’t” thing.

          also please learn how to thread your responses properly, it’s kind of annoying to always have to edit your stuff back into the conversation

        5. Yotomoe

          I’m sorry that that happened to you, but you must understand. I tell jokes a bunch.
          ANYWHOZLE, I know that they’re not the “only people” who struggle in a down economy. I said it’s more common for other races to push harder. Not that white people are lazy. I don’t know why you’re being so defensive. I’m not even being very racist. It’s more of just an observation I’ve made over my short life. I’m sorry for what I said, not because I think I’m wrong but how my words made you feel.

          I’m by no means starting a pity party for myself. I’m very lucky to be allowed the opportunities I have and I’m sorry that you haven’t been allowed the same.

        6. Kateastrophe

          Yo, I am also a white female who has fought for my education, and if I had a dime for every “but white people also struggle” post I’ve seen on the internet, I’d be in the 1%. No one is saying that no one but minorities struggle in education or in life – but as white people, our suffering is not reinforced by ubiquitous stereotypes and societal expectations like minorities are. Your individual experience, or mine, does not equal the disadvantage of oppressed groups or negate their trials.

          So, at the risk of sounding rude, I don’t think it’s Yotomoe who needs to get over themselves.

        7. Shadlyn Wolfe

          Also…Yotomoe makes, I dunno, about 1,000 funny, not-racially-tinged jokes PER COMMENT THREAD. I think his ratio is pretty secure, even if this one were offensive (and that’s a debatable question with point of view stuff involved.) So on the most basic level, before we get to the actual offense question, your math was just wrong.

        8. Jen

          So bringing this into a bigger issue, some seem to be justifying Yotomoe making a racist joke because not all his jokes are racist. But how does that negate or lessen the racist joke?

          Putting it another way: If a man doesn’t sexually harass 99% of the women he knows and treats them well, how would that make it okay that he harassed 1%?

          Or those doctors that did the horrible syphilis experiments on blacks. They were likely fine upstanding citizens in other contexts, but that doesn’t excuse what they did to the unwitting participants of their case studies.

          So, getting back to ratio of racist jokes per non-racist jokes, I’d really like to hear the justification for “racist jokes are okay, as long as I have a really small ratio of them compared to other jokes.” In my opinion, if the joke is intrinsically racist or not acceptable, it’s proximity to non-racist jokes doesn’t make it better. But maybe someone will convince me otherwise?

        9. Yotomoe

          Not to incriminate myself any further but…IS my joke really racist? Or is it racial. Because there is a difference. That difference being I’m not putting down any race. I’m just pointing out something “In my own personal experience” certain races do more than others. I have a black mom, and have friends with black parents that are very dead set on their children not missing class and doing their best and enforce it very strongly. How come when I point this out, people immediately think “He’s saying white people are lazy!!!! OH MEH GURD WHAT A RACIST”. Just because I brought up race doesn’t mean it’s racist. Asian people tend to use chopsticks more than black people. Mexican people tend to eat more tacos on average than Englishman. I don’t think any of these phrases are racist. They’re just astute observations I was using to tell a joke. A joke that literally AT IT’S POSSIBLE WORST equates to.
          “Have you ever noticed white people talk like this? But Black people talk like THIS?”
          I mean Really? Are we now to a point where we can’t even be proud enough of our own races that we can’t even take a joke? A joke that’s not even about you?
          Also are you comparing me saying “Black moms are more strict” to sexual harassment and syphilis experiments? Jesus, I seem like the anti-christ. While I’m not Kicking babies and poisoning drinking water I settle down and enjoy my most devilish deed. Making a culture comparison joke in a thread of a comic about college students who are dumb!!!! BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!

        10. Gold

          I love social progressives. The self-cannibalism keeps the movement small and ignorable.

        11. Jen

          Yotomoe, I was using your joke as an example of a larger issue. No, you what you said is obviously not at all on the same scale as the other examples I used, I was just using those as illustration.

          But, yes, it was a racist statement. You were making a behavioral judgement based on race alone. Whether or not that behavior is a positive or negative behavior does not have any bearing on the statement’s racism. Also, even if a behavior statistically does happen a lot in a certain race or culture, it’s still a racist statement.

          For example, “Asians are good at math” is a racist statement. This applies even though it seems like a generally positive statement and it would still be racist even if you did a statistical analysis of all races and Asians tested better at math than other races.

          And I’m sorry but I don’t see how you making a judgement about racial behaviors based on your own personal limited experience isn’t racist, especially when others have written contrary statements to what you wrote.

          You wrote ” I have a black mom, and have friends with black parents that are very dead set on their children not missing class and doing their best and enforce it very strongly. ” This is done by a lot of moms, in so many different races and cultures, why do you assume race has anything to do with this behavior? Like my friend Nat often says in circumstances like this, “Why’s it gotta be black?”

          And I never said that your statement implied anything about white people. A statement can be a racist statement without automatically implying the opposite behavior in a counter group. I am looking at the statement as a standalone statement, without any assumptions regarding other cultures or races.

          I also think you are assuming a certain level of emotional involvment on my part. Yes, I think the statement is racist, but I’m not sitting here thinking “OMG!!! WTF?!?! HOW CAN HE BE SO RACIST!!! The jerk!!!” Nowhere in anything I wrote was there anything written with poor grammar or internet trolling or flaming language. I am completely unemotional about what I’ve written, I’m just trying to have a logical debate/discussion. I believe you are overreacting emotionally to what I wrote and taking it more personally, instead of objectively looking at what you wrote and what others wrote and weighing all the statements to see if they have any validity.

        12. Jen

          Also, you failed to address the actual issue I was bringing up, which was “do percentages make racism okay?” Which I brought up because it was stated that since most of the jokes you make aren’t racist, than a racist joke is okay, which seemed like an odd assertion to me.

        13. Yotomoe

          I still refute that the joke I said was not racist. It was Racial. And that’s not the same thing. I am not gonna act like all humans of all races all act the same. We are different in some ways. I have no malicious intent behind it. I think people are much too sensitive about stuff like race and as soon as Race is brought up people immediately have their red flags triggered. I’m very proud of being a black person and enjoy speaking positive stereotypes of my race.

          On the issue of the percentage thing…uh…It depends? It’s all about intent. It also depends on the severity of the racism in the joke.If someone who normally tells PC jokes says “Well he stole that because he’s black and black people steal!” then I’ll be like “Well that’s kinda mean.” I try my best to at least be positive when I do do racial humor. But even then I may cut him a break if he doesn’t legitimately believe that and I know he doesn’t. But I will probably retort with something at the same magnitude he did.

          I’m not gonna act like I’m some sort of person who’s always politcally correct. I don’t even feel like I need to be. I know I’m a good person and if you have to hate me because my humor doesn’t align with yours, I will allow it. I believe all races are created equal, men and women deserve equal rights, LGBT should have equal rights, That sexual abuse is a serious issue, That we should save the planet, and that most of the world’s problems are caused by humanity.

          I am 19. I don’t really want all the pressure of the world on my head all the time. I don’t want to half to be walking on eggshells evertime I say a sentence. So I’ve decided. I know I’m a good person. I would rather be hated by people for being a “racist” than stressing out about another thing. I really wanna keep my hair when I’m old and I’m already so stressed out by just the internet.

          In conclusion. I didn’t mean to be racist. If you think that’s racist I’m sorry. Not for my comment but for how my comment made you feel. It’s cool if you don’t like me. I still will.

        14. Proteus

          Jen, I have to say. I don’t think you have the proper definition for “Racist” or “Racism”. In one of your replies to Yotomoe, you said “You were making a behavioral judgement based on race alone. Whether or not that behavior is a positive or negative behavior does not have any bearing on the statement’s racism.”

          But that does, in fact, have bearing on whether it’s racist. According to dictionaries, Racism is the belief that race determines qualities and because of those qualities that one race is superior, or it has to do with prejudice and/or discrimination against a race/races. A positive statement about a race cannot be racist, unless it’s clear that it was said because the person believes the race mentioned to be superior. Because a positive statement about a race is not discriminatory or prejudiced.

          I believe you have somehow mixed up “racism” with “racial”. Racial deals with the qualities of a race, while racism is, in general, the hatred of a race. So, no. “Asians are good at math,” is not a racist statement. If documented to be true, it is a factual racial observation. If it is not proven, then it is a stereotype.

          I think the problem is that as soon as race is mentioned, people immediately jump to “racist”/”racism” and the meaning of the word has been lost on and because of these trigger happy people. We can talk about races and their behaviors without being racist.

        15. Jen

          I never said I hated you or even that I disliked you. As I stated before, I’m not emotionally involved in this and I’m just trying to have a rational discussion with you. To hate someone I’ve never met over a minor comment they made over the internet would be highly irrational. You are taking my one assertion, that you are making racist assumptions, making broad generalizations and coming to conclusions based on them that have nothing to do with the actual reality of the situation.

          Which is the same thing you’re doing with your racist assumption that “black moms do X”. It’s not just black moms who want their kids to succeed but you’ve stated that in your experience it’s black moms who do this. Are you comparing this to any other cultural or racial group? Are you comparing this to black moms in other countries? Why do you assume that it’s their blackness that is the deciding factor in the fact that they want their kids to succeed? You’re taking a very limited sample (people you know and whose mom’s you’ve interacted with) and making generalizations to an entire race. Also, do you have any black friends whose moms don’t push them? Did you do any statistical analysis to actually compare the two numbers or do you just assume that the moms who don’t push them are going against their natural racial tendencies?

          Also, I would be hard pressed to find any trait that is true of all people of a particular race (even skin tone), so any assertion that a race does or doesn’t do something is racist. Calling it “racial” and not “racist” to me seems as if you are trying to put a politically correct spin on justifying making racist comments and jokes. And I’m not saying that jokes that rely on stereotypes can’t be funny, but I still realize that the funny joke that relies on a stereotype is racist an overwhelming percentage of the time.

          It seems a lot of the traits you term as “racial” have nothing to do with race. Overall, they seem to have to do with specific subcultures of specific people in specific countries and places. To use an example from a Radio Lab broadcast on NPR, at a certain point, doctors in this country believed that it was a racial trait of black men to have more heart issues than white men. This seemed to be backed up over and over by the patients they treated. However, when some researchers actually decided to look at heart disease in blacks and whites in various countries and they discovered that it wasn’t race that was the issue, it was diet and that in some countries, the black men actually had better heart health than white men because the black men were eating healthier. So do see how a trait they thought was legitimately based on race was actually just another racist assumption?

          By calling certain traits “racial” you are limiting and generalizing people into certain characteristics and forcing them into statistical groups instead of acknowledging them as individuals who have individual traits and characteristics, which to me is racist. Honestly, I feel like you saying “it’s not racist, it’s racial” is absolutely no different than the comment, “I’m not racist, but…”

          You stated that you are 19. Are you in college? If so, I strongly recommend taking some classes in cultural studies, racism, women’s studies, etc. and some sociology classes that focus on different cultures. I think they will help you develop some more awareness of racism, stereotyping, etc. and perhaps help you not make extreme conclusions that you generalize to entire populations based on small numbers of anecdotal accounts.

        16. Jen

          Proteus, I disagree with you and the reality of racism encompasses a lot more than a short dictionary definition. And a seemingly positive statement about someone based on race is still racist. I think I addressed some of your specific comments in my latest response to Yotomoe, so to avoid redundancy, I’m not going to repeat them in a direct comment to you. 🙂

          Though one point I will reiterate is the concept of race versus culture. certain cultures in certain countries do often share certain traits. However, these traits really aren’t racial, they are cultural. Also, many of these cultural traits are not exclusive to that culture and are exhibited by many other cultures, so you very often can’t make the assumption that we know someone’s race or culture based on one trait (like yotomoe’s “we know Walky’s mom isn’t black”). And since in this specific case, he is making an untrue assumption based on race, I think that is one step closer to passing your definition of a racist stereotype.

        17. Yotomoe

          Yeah so no. It’s not skin color that would make a black woman more focused on educating her child. It’s the role african americans have in society. Every generation prior to mine have suffered some serious racism against them and had to struggle to get even the most minimum wage of jobs. I’m not trying to imply being black inherently makes one push their children more as is their role in north American society.

          The reason I feel this way is cuz I’m from the south. I have been nonstop bombarded with “Cuz you’re black” jokes that don’t even make sense. But I definitely don’t let any of those stereotypes or generalizations hold true for me. I’m just proud of who I am. I like being able to say some positive things about my people sometimes, ya know.

          Also I don’t “make extreme conclusions that you generalize to entire populations based on small numbers of anecdotal accounts.” I just like joking. I’m not 100% PC all the time. That’s just not the kind of guy I am. I don’t believe half of the stuff I say to be true. I’m just young and DONE with being stressed out about pleasing people all the time. If you don’t like my humor, I’m sorry. :T *shrug*

        18. rachel

          booya

    3. Jessica

      Yeah, my (black) mother got on my case for missing class even when I was working on my Master’s.

      1. Opus the Poet

        You know you got about the whitest avatar in the comic to go with that statement, right?

        1. Yotomoe

          Sierra is effectively Joyce’s black mom, if not her Black big sister.

        2. Yotomoe

          Sarah, Dangit. I’ve failed!

        3. fudo81

          It’s OK. We all know that Sierra is on your mind all the time.

    4. hetellek

      Insert one of the longest, narrowest arguments ever below.

  8. Vael

    Damn it Walky.

  9. shadowcell

    the most beautiful moment of college is the moment when you realize this

    eventually the realization kicks in that this means you have to actually motivate yourself to get out of bed and go to class, but until then, all is happiness

  10. andrew

    That was my reaction too xD

  11. Aizat

    Really?

  12. rakketykid

    Literally the exact way I found out I could skip class…and eventually college

  13. tlaurence

    A chocolatey, chocolatey god

    1. Opus the Poet

      Caramel god, get it right 😉

  14. Phil

    And so, the good ship Walkathy encountered its next perilous challenge!

  15. Maveric1984

    Dotty makes the same noises when she’s having sex that she does when she’s freaking out.

    So does that mean she’s freaking out during sex?

    1. Aizat

      Or she’s a screamer.

      1. Yotomoe

        Maybe irreperably late for class is her fetish.

        1. Glacirus

          Or just generally tossing responsibility out the window. I mean, she was studying when they went on the Amazi-Girl chase.

  16. newllend

    Yoda voice ~The God of free will he is.

  17. Mr. Random

    And. There it is.

  18. Otera

    now, will Sal tell their mother about this in an attempt to make Walky less perfect in her eyes?

    1. Just Cheeto Dust

      She’ll have to stop thinking about Joyce and strap-ons first.

      1. Yotomoe

        You know we all can’t stop thinking of that.

    2. newllend

      I dont think she that petty

      1. Dean

        I don’t think anyone’s petty enough to stop thinking about Joyce and strap-ons. I know I’m not.

        1. ocbrad1

          Definitely not!

  19. Leon

    Hope you enjoy paying your own tuition, Walky.

  20. LiamAldam

    Yeah, that realization totally occurs.

  21. Aizat

    The last panel: Dorothy just realized that her life is going on a downward spiral.

    1. Ancestral Hamster

      So much for her political ambitions …

    2. begbert2

      This is when she realizes that that bullshit excuse she used to dump Danny with is actually true – she *can’t* juggle both school and a boyfriend!

  22. ridtom

    I AM THE CARAMEL GOD!!!

  23. Plasma Mongoose

    Slacking of Age

    1. Aizat

      Age of the Slackers, man.

      1. newllend

        Long live the slackers, I should be working on my work for algebra class tomorrow but fuck it I’m already haft way done

        1. Arkantos

          Is it bad that I read everything you say in the 4kids voice of Monkey D. Luffy? And that it all sounds very angry for no apparent reason?

    2. vlademir1

      So PHD with Willis’ characters?

      1. Plasma Mongoose

        Well it is this comic at least.

  24. Alexander the adequate

    Wow. You guys totally called it. Props to you.

    1. Plasma Mongoose

      A lot of college kids read this comic and the “I can afford to miss classes” trope is a common one.

  25. Gram91

    I’m betting Mike takes care of that statement.

  26. Keroshino

    Oh-oh, Walky has become self-aware!

  27. William

    This is the revelation that killed my academic career.

  28. Kafloo

    Thank you for posting the ending of her speech bubble in the alt text Willis. I would have spent hours trying to guess it if you hadn’t.

  29. theskeuomorph

    Yeah, this isn’t a good realization. I should know ^_^

  30. John Madden

    Ahahahahahahahaha

  31. astraea

    I think I may be the only one who relates to Dorothy here – I still feel really guilty if I miss, or even fall asleep in, class, even when I make the conscious decision not to go due to work for another class, and I’m a college senior.

    1. kurodansei

      You are not alone.

    2. luxlucis

      Definitely you are not alone, today was my first time purposefully missing a class and the only reason I don’t feel guilty is because it Italian 1 and, is the only class I have this say and I got a good grade on my midterm.

    3. Mo

      I love how both of the affirmation responses here have Dorothy avatars.

  32. bob99938

    walky is totally how I was freshman year

  33. Pureed Madness

    Dorothy and Walky have reached a new point in their relationship. This is good. This relationship is going places. One of those places, however, will not be class.

  34. GoogerGeiger

    Walky looks so much better with sclera.

  35. Idon'tcarenomore

    Or maybe they are reaching the end of the relationship unless Dorothy schedules their goof off time.

  36. Locke

    NO WALKY, DON’T DO IT, IT’S A SLIPPERY SLOPE

  37. Oliver

    I didn’t know Walky was Omastar. I guess it’s canon now, praise helix…

  38. VizardJeffhog

    Dorothy’s taking it better than I thought she would.

  39. Randomguy

    I really don’t get Dorothy. Some of the smartest people at my university skip the large majority of their classes ’cause they’ve got the discipline to learn all the material from the textbook.

    1. begbert2

      She’s not all that smart; she’s just a studyoholic. A good studyoholic can imitate a natural, easy learner, but only if you ignore the hours and hours of studying they put in behind the scenes to claw their way up to that level.

      1. Betty Anne

        Thank you. I was one of those “studyoholics” from the time I was in Kindergarten (my mom enforced it until I graduated high school, and it stuck with me as a result). Most of my peers simply assumed I was a “genius” and that I never went to parties or anything because I was a “nerd,” not because I lived in books for the majority of my life.

  40. Yotomoe

    I’ve never skipped a class. I’m paying through the fucking nose to go to college. Not going to class is like me throwing my PS3 in the garbage.

    1. Sageress

      Hey now. One is throwing away your future, the other is missing a class.

      1. Aizat

        What’s the difference?

        1. newllend

          You won’t be able to play Battle field and Call of duty anymore

        2. Aizat

          Never been a fan of FPS. So, not my problem.

        3. newllend

          So are you a sports or fantasy kind of guy

        4. Aizat

          RPGs are my thing.

        5. begbert2

          I’m fond of rocket-propelled grenades too! And the best part is, with the proper application of them, people stop asking you about your college GPA!

        6. Kevin

          I almost got kicked out of college when I talked about my college Grenades Propelled by Afterburners.

      2. Yotomoe

        Well throwing away my PS3 isn’t throwing away my future. Just a lot of money.

    2. Kelly

      Skipping classes wasn’t my thing, but whether or not I was paying never had any effect on me not doing my homework. But then I think my brain’s reward/punishment system is disconnected in general.

    3. Seerow

      My experience is you pay about 50% for the class and 50% for the piece of paper.

      Or maybe I just had really bad luck in half of my classes feeling like worthless wastes of time being taught by professors who gave absolutely 0 effort. (I literally had one class where it took a month before we were given a syllabus, 2 months before we were given a reading list, and in the end were given a grade based on a 1-2 page “essay”, which I assume everyone who bothered to turn in something with their name on it got an A on).

      1. Deathjavu

        You pay 75% for the paper, 25% for the structure you’re too lazy to make yourself. All information is available on the internet, college is superfluous other than poor self-management and confirmation that you can do a lot of repetitive work for employers.

        There was an SMBC about it a while ago http://www.smbc-comics.com/?id=2729

        1. Kryss LaBryn

          In the Canadian military you *must* have a degree in order to enter as an officer. Doesn’t matter what it’s in, but you need a degree.

          The awesome part, though, is that if you don’t have one and want to be an officer, they’ll not only pay your way through college, they’ll also *pay* you to attend. We looked into it very closely a couple years ago before my husband enlisted as a non-comm; the main reason he didn’t go for officers is that he prefers to be doing the work rather than managing; and it would have been two years away from us instead of six-nine months in Basic and subsequent training.

          I’m still kicking myself for not enlisting twenty years ago (when I would have met the physical requirements and didn’t have young kids to look after), but I thought for some reason that the death rate was still the same as during WWII (apparently I was an idiot), instead of being roughly equal to the number of snowmobilers killed in accidents in the back country during a similar time period (about 150 people died in BC over 10 years; a similar number have been killed in Afghanistan over the past decade. I guess when they were telling us the horrific death tolls in the World Wars, they failed to mention that IT’S MUCH BETTER NOW).

          I’m fortunate enough to have built up enough experience with the technical side of computers over the past decade that my lack of official training doesn’t really matter for the most part; but I’m still an idiot for dropping college and I feel it every time I have to check off “Some college or post-secondary education” (let alone when I apply for a job).

      2. begbert2

        I paid 10% for the education, 90% for the paper. And then I got hired away before I actually got my degree, and haven’t looked back. Yeah, so not a total waste of money, but…

        1. Yotomoe

          It’s all about that little piece of paper. If it wasn’t for that I would definitely be self-taught.

        2. Bill

          I like that idea.
          Then you would have no one but yourself to blame.

    4. Kevin

      I used to play all the way through every game I bought, no matter how terrible, because I had paid good money for it. Eventually I realized playing a game I didn’t enjoy for the sake of playing it was wasting time as well as money.

      On the other hand, I ended up getting into the habit of video game ADD and moving on to a new game before I finish my current one even if I like it.

  41. Sageress

    Hey this isn’t related at all but I still don’t know how to set my own avatar somebody help.

    1. Just Cheeto Dust

      What’s the exact problem?

    2. Plasma Mongoose

      First of all, you need to visit https://en.gravatar.com/ so you can set up a Gravatar account and once you done, that, you can upload a picture of your choice.

      1. Just Cheeto Dust

        I think you have to be careful about what avatar you use, though. I tried to use a picture of Duckman (crotch-thrusting) that will not show up on this site.

        1. Plasma Mongoose

          I know that Willis’ comic sites only allow G rated gravatars.

        2. John

          Which is kind of hilarious given the, y’know, hardcore pornography he’s selling.

        3. David Willis

          *on another site*, man! Google Adsense kicks your ass out of its ad network if you got pornographic images, and I kind of like eating!

        4. Leonou

          Yeah, about that; I know you don’t want to get Patreon right now because of the incoming Kickstarter, but would you consider switching from add revenues to patronage revenues in the future ?
          That way you’d get rid of the Google Adsence moral order.
          And we’d get some sweet looking panels !

  42. wynne

    I really hope they don’t break up over this.

  43. kelticat

    Walky’s mom won’t yell at him…until the end of the semester, when he has low grades in all of his classes and puts her dreams of med school at risk.
    The upside is that Sal will, for the first time, get better grades than her “genius” brother, thus proving that she is not dumb.

    1. timemonkey

      The guy doodles during class and doesn’t study. Skipping the occasional class isn’t going to hurt him.

  44. AgentKeen

    No, no Walky, don’t give in to the dark side. It leads to completely bombing tests and wasting the money of whoever is paying for this (I’m guessing the Walkertons).

    And, even if you can get by without trying, you’re supposed to be trying to try.

    1. Plasma Mongoose

      The thing is that many students who coasted through school while managing to score As often end up doing badly in college as they never got into the habit of studying.

      1. vlademir1

        Pretty much. Some of us learn to adjust to having to study and eventually get those habits, others of us end up dropping out.

        1. begbert2

          And then there are those of us who could pass 95% of college classes without studying anyway. It all depends on what tier of insufferable genius-hood you’ve achieved.

        2. Steven

          Or how low-level the underachieving student’s school is. A person who isn’t dumb as bricks, put in a simple enough environment, can easily be deluded into think they’re a genius. Congratulations coasting MIT, because then that may very well be true; continue on coasting at William & Mary or lower, and you’ve probably just unlocked the minimal-effort techniques of a low-level scavenger.

        3. Arkantos

          Well aren’t you just a ray of sunshine?

        4. MichaelHaneline

          Doesn’t mean he’s wrong.

        5. begbert2

          Oh, I’m well-aware that I went to a state school that allowed anyone in, and that the fact that many of my classmates were at times horrifyingly dim helped propel me on my way. But the fact remains that there’s an undeniable middle ground between “having to study” and “dropping out”, which I maintain exists at every level of college education, not just the easy places.

      2. Deathjavu

        Wouldn’t know anything about that, drinking on a thursday my 6th year of college after having skipped class again today. Nope. Nope.

        *takes another drink*

      3. Roborat

        Yup, saw that first hand, I sailed through high school, hit the wall first term in university, and luckily learned to study quickly enough to manage to pass and continue on and eventually graduate, took an extra year to do so, however. My best friend, on the other had, the smartest guy I know, borderline genius, breezed through the first 2.5 years, hit the wall, and ended up quitting. He went the technical route, and ended up being an electrician, later switched to electronics tech, and finally an automotive tech.

  45. Alex Stritar

    Love how different their reactions to the first missed class. Gotta say, I think we’ve all had Walky’s moment of realization.

  46. Gram91

    Only once have overslept when I had classes, and I still missed only half.

  47. Lizardizzle

    Dorothy is going to spend the next few “free” hours catching up on what she missed, meaning no Walky-on-Dorothy action for some time. Meanwhile, Walky will discover his new power and skip classes for AT LEAST a week.

    This won’t end well. Dorothy will scold Walky.

    These are guesses.

    1. Plasma Mongoose

      Oh yes, Dotty will scold Walky like a hot cup of coffee.

      1. begbert2

        I hope you’re not implying that ‘scold’ and ‘scald’ are the same word. Regardless that confused me enough that I interpreted your sentence as a Grand Theft Auto: San Andreas reference, with the thought, ‘but they just already did that!’

        1. Plasma Mongoose

          So this is what I missed out by not having any further education than Year 10, I never realised that scold doesn’t also mean scald.

        2. Kryss LaBryn

          Which is also different from “skald,” which is a Viking bard. 😉

        3. Barf Ninjason

          My ex-wife was for a long time convinced that there was a word “fien” that meant desperately wanting something you’re addicted to. She was flabbergasted to find out that that’s just a mishearing of “fiend” in one of its admittedly weirder contexts.

  48. Kernanator

    Don’t do it, Walky! You’ll start out skipping class, then you’re robbing liquor stores and selling crack and running over school kids with your car!

    1. Yotomoe

      Walky, this comic can’t handle anymore Angst! It’ll implode on itself like some sort of Angst Supernova!

    2. newllend

      Thats not true you don’t see Sal skipping class and shes ALREADY done 1/3 of these things.

      1. kelticat

        My guess is that Sal learned the consequences of skipping from the boarding school that she was sent to.

        1. Just Cheeto Dust

          A paddlin’?

        2. Clif

          It was a boardin’ school.

    3. timemonkey

      Relax, this is Walky, not Sal.

    4. Mo

      Also, don’t download this song.

  49. Zuzi

    That last panel’s dialogue couldn’t POSSIBLY be misconstrued for sex…

    1. Yotomoe

      The room next door there’s a girl thinking “I’ll have what she’s having”

      1. Plasma Mongoose

        Just before realising that she too has just missed her first class…

        1. Yotomoe

          And now she is indeed having what she’s having.

      2. Bill

        The room next door contains Dina and Amber, remember?

        1. Plasma Mongoose

          Which makes the idea that they too have missed classes all the more plausible.

        2. Clif

          Though possibly not under the same circumstances.

  50. etybolik

    This was the best realization I’d ever had. I could skip classes and chill or whatever? Fuckin’ A!

    Then I kinda went a little overboard with it…

    1. Glacirus

      I know those feels….

  51. Idon'tcarenomore

    Or banned of the boards…counting 10, 9, 8, 7….

  52. Triniking

    I thought that E was an F at first… but never mind that.

  53. Aras

    For some reason, Walky’s face reminds of Road to El Dorado…

  54. Opus the Poet

    I’m doing a bit of an experiment to see if my gravatar changes when I use my alternate e-mail addy.

    1. Opus the Poet

      Yes, my alternate addy avatar is Mike!

      1. Bill

        You could probably upload the same avatar of you standing alongside the ‘bent to the other email addy as well.

        1. Opus the Poet

          Just checking to see what DoA set it to when I went with the alternate.

      2. Lizardizzle

        Holy crap, I know you! You comment on Bikeyface all the time! I never really comment there, but I do read them…

  55. Bran

    Did Walky just reference Community? 😀

  56. Brendan

    The word of the day is “contrast”.

    1. Sambo

      My thoughts exactly. That last panel is perfect 😀

  57. John

    I think Dorothy’s just realized that she slept with the antichrist.

  58. Deathjavu

    Oh man, Randall Monroe is cutting in on Willis’ turf: http://xkcd.com/1336/

    1. Bill

      Maybe, but I think that this will just give Hasbro (or whoever owns the rights nowadays) some new ideas.  Mecha-insects, anyone?

      1. Kajhera

        Considering the Transformers I own are a praying mantis, a Hercules beetle, and a lobster …

      2. begbert2

        Hasn’t that sort of already been done, like thirty years ago?

  59. Crumplepunch

    Quick, someone switch the dialogue balloons!

    1. Crumplepunch

      There.

      https://www.dropbox.com/s/ky6jsa8md9ikias/DOAPrimal.png

      Completely out of character, but it made be giggle like a lunatic.

      I should probably see someone about that.

      1. begbert2

        Heh, it didn’t look out of character to me; Dot just had a random non-sequiter thought and decided to express it. And Walky’s just yelling with joy (I imagine him as sounding something like the Kool-Aid Man here).

      2. Lizardizzle

        That Dorothy is scaring me. D:

      3. Roborat

        That actually works too.

  60. timemonkey

    I realised I could skip classes in college before I even graduated high school. I never did though. Went to the wrong class once but never skipped.

    1. Opus the Poet

      Who hasn’t had a rough night and walked into the wrong class at least once in their college career?

      1. timemonkey

        Nah, it was the middle of the afternoon, I just looked at the wrong day on my timetable. Confused the crap out of my teacher though.

  61. Chase the Ace

    I’m Walky in this scenario.

  62. thinkingofthechildren

    You have just made incarnate, in comic form, the most lamentable moment of my college career (not that I had a hot post-coital probably-bottomless chick in bed next to me in my case)

  63. Nevermaker

    That third panel was literally me the first time I missed a class in college.

  64. Merle

    WALKY NO

  65. Jehosaphat

    Walky looks like an evil genius in the last panel.

  66. Shariku Onikage

    And that was the moment Walky became a man.

    No, not the moment the night before. This moment, right now.

  67. ajm5007

    Just wait until he realizes he can have any cereal he wants, any time he wants.

    1. Plasma Mongoose

      That’s why Riley plans on going to college after all.

  68. Double M

    Walky is a god, so hurry up with his damn croissants!

    …that moment when you’re alone in making a Kanye joke.

  69. Tyce

    Something about Walky’s face in panel 1 makes me think he’d be a gorgeous drag queen.

    1. Plasma Mongoose

      Well we already know that if he grew his hair out, he could pass for Sal.

  70. The Candyman

    If Walky is a god, does that mean they’re going to have to bring back Enterprise?

    1. Maveric1984

      No, it means Gozer isn’t going to kill him

      1. Clif

        Who would kill the god of slack. (If you’re a subgenus, don’t answer that.)

  71. Tenn

    Welp, that’s at least two new avatars.

  72. man in black

    Opposite ends of the spectrum there

  73. Black

    Honestly, I don’t think she’s been told about George W Bush and how he became president even being as fucking stupid as he was. If George W could become president, I really don’t think she’s gonna need to worry about straight A’s and perfect attendance.

    1. timemonkey

      But she’s not a guy with a dad who was president.

    2. David Willis

      I think she’s shooting for “better than Bush Jr.”

      1. Black

        To be fair, my dog would be better than Bush Jr. It really doesn’t take much effort.

  74. Omnithea

    The last panel will be reused in fifteen years when they find out they’re about to become parents.

    1. Clif

      Except 15 years in comics time is …

  75. Yet-One-More-Idiot

    I bet at some point after this, Dorothy is gonna have a pregnancy scare. xD

    Also, nice touch giving both Dorothy and Walky slightly pinkish eyes because they’ve literally just woken up. 🙂

  76. The Candyman

    Cut to next panel, where Dorothy is yelling at Walky for skipping class. 😛

  77. Clif

    Jen, for some reason it wouldn’t let me do a reply.

    The answer to your question, “do percentages make racism okay?” is no. Hell no, and obviously so. Intent and probable reaction do have something to do with it though. As a white guy whose white mother would have had some deeply sarcastic things to say if she knew how many college classes I skipped, I certainly felt no insult from his joke. And I think it’s clear he had no harmful intent. So why get all serious about inconsequentials?

    Of more consequence, do I understand you as saying that any scientific study of cultural differences is inherently racist? (disclaimer – I may do some research in machine learning).

  78. JA

    Careful Walky…with great power comes great responsibility.

  79. OmegaDez

    WHOA
    Walky looks weird with… non-beady eyes D:

  80. nothri

    Little known fact, this is EXACTLY how the egyptian pharaohs got started.

  81. rachel

    WALKY’S FACE PANEL TWO AAAAAAAAAAAAGGGGGGHHH UNCANNY EYEVALLEY

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