96

Huffs
Posted on June 6, 2020 by David M Willis
Wack'd's Best Dumbing Of Age Character poll continues through Round 2! The second half of Round 2 is today!  That's the right-hand-side of the board, featuring Becky vs Jacob, Sierra vs Carla, Billie vs Dorothy, and Sarah vs Sal!  Some of these are getting a little tough.  Yesterday made me choose between Amber and Ruth and I had a BSOD.

96 thoughts on “Huffs”

  1. Ana Chronistic

    “…for a nickel! *sob*”

    1. carl320

      This nickel is for Mike!

    2. King Daniel

      No, that’s something else done for a nickel. 😛

    3. Stephen Bierce

      “What’s in YOUR change purse?”

    4. Hex Hornet

      *Pours some nickels out on the curb*

      1. Abbe_Faria

        Toss a nickel to your Mike

        1. AGV

          Oh valley of dumbing

        2. Deanatay

          When a humble Dan
          Graced a ride along
          With Michael of Warner
          Along came this song

          When Amazi-Girl fought
          A silver-tongued Blaine
          His army of dads
          At her fists they did revel

          They came after us
          With masterful deceit
          Broke down our Joyce
          And kicked in Amber’s teeth

          And while the Ball-Peen
          Minced Toe-Dad’s meat
          And so cried the Warner
          He can’t be beat

          Oh, toss a coin to your Warner
          Oh college of dumbing
          Oh college of dumbing, oh

        3. Abbe_Faria

          *claps* Beautiful <3

  2. Passchendaele

    your mom huffs butts in heck

    1. NinjaMaid

      That’s her right as a consenting adult

    2. FacelessDeviant

      Nickelodeons The Exorcist?

  3. Mra

    Y’know, now that they got the door open, Blaine is gonna have to stop eventually. They could just bolt out the back as soon as he stops, with his injuries it wouldn’t be difficult to outrun him, and as for him facing consequences, the police could just put a BOLO

  4. Yotomoe

    Hey, Stacy is a grown woman and she can huff butts with other consenting adults and shouldn’t be kink shamed.

    1. Kyrik Michalowski

      Even if they happen to be creepy and a known cheater, not that I’m pointing out someone in specific. *coughs*

      1. Rabid Rabbit

        But he and Stacy have done stuff you couldn’t believe. https://www.dumbingofage.com/2017/comic/book-8/01-face-the-strange/disengage/

      2. AGV

        At least he’s somewhat of an improvenent over Blaine (very low bar, I know)
        And as long as nobody gets hurt

        1. JBento

          I mean, it’s an IMMENSE improvement over Blaine, come on. Of course, that IS because the bar was, as you pointed out, set incredibly low.

    2. Rose by Any Other Name

      What can I do?
      Time will unbind our memory glue
      And I’ll be as nobody-ish as all of you
      So don’t care about a thing now
      Like a trash bag when it’s windy out
      Like a butt that has a face
      Dutch boxing up the palace
      Yeah, girl, it stinks

  5. Kyrik Michalowski

    Don’t worry guys, I’m sure that Mike is spiteful enough to become a ghost if he dies. So he’ll be able to torment you for plenty of time. The only question is, what would set Mike’s soul at peace to get him to leave?

    1. Lumino

      Mike Warner for Force Ghost.

    2. Mra

      He is too spiteful to die, after all if he comes back as a ghost he might not be able to interact with physical objects, then how will he draw penises on peoples doors or swap them with sharpie. He has to live so he can annoy more people.

      1. King Daniel

        What if Mike goes meta and dies so he can annoy the audience?

        1. Kyrik Michalowski

          It would fit in with his principles.

        2. Needfuldoer

          So we just start seeing him pop up in between the comments?

          Maybe he’s the one who moves the page all over the place as the ads load in!

        3. Delicious Taffy

          Oh, you get that, too?

        4. Needfuldoer

          Yup. The main page fidgets for a moment right before the top banner loads, and the whole right column jumps up and down when the ad above the poll cycles.

          Still leaving ads turned on, though.

      2. Khyrin

        >He is too spiteful to die.

        He may still need to pay service to the laws of physics and spend a few years timesharing while his mortal form regenerates.

      3. He Who Abides

        I dunno, Sung-A could set up two entire series of puzzles in her high school post-demise. Don’t count ghost-Mike out yet.

  6. Hex Hornet

    Mike wouldn’t have said “huffs”.

    1. Norah

      He probably wouldn’t have said “butts” either.

      1. ValdVin

        Well, Joyce is a mild-mannered Christian woman, whose superhero name is Holy Heck, so that’s to be expected.

  7. Dante Shepherd

    Dang, that is some timely narration.

    1. Undrave

      Becky for President

      1. Hex Hornet

        Hey! That’s Dorothy’s job!

        1. Minotaur

          You’re only supposed to be president for 8 years (fingers crossed), so there’s no reason they can’t both be president. Except systemic sexism and homophobia….

        2. JBento

          Also, Dorothy would make a terrible president because she has a tendency to compromise so she can get everyone’s approval. Republicans have nothing of worth to add to either legislation or discourse.

        3. Needfuldoer

          A Keener presidency would probably end up looking like Carter’s. She’d surround herself with competent (though cunning) advisors, bend over backwards to try and please everyone, then get steamrolled by a charismatic, self-serving, destructive successor after one term.

        4. Deanatay

          So, you’re saying Keener/McIntyre 2040!

        5. Needfuldoer

          The President has to be at least 35 years old, so Dorothy’s eligible 17 DoA years in the future. At 66.67 real days per DoA day, that would put us somewhere around the first quarter of 3153.

        6. Deanatay

          I’d say Keener/McIntyre 3156, then, but there probably won’t be a Presidency to run for by then.

        7. Needfuldoer

          Maybe the office could evolve into Earth’s top representative to the Federation (or DOOP).

  8. Chris

    DoA book 10: Your Mom Huffs Butts

    1. Keulen

      DoA Book 10: It’s… Been A Long Day

  9. DailyBrad

    Joyce is right, of course, but I am sure Amber would still like one more “god damn it, Mike” for the road.

    (Thanks everyone for the happy birthdays yesterday!)

    1. Kyrik Michalowski

      He might be an asshole, but he still helped to try to take down Blaine. He may have even been aiming to kill him with that whole falling off the building thing.

      1. Regalli

        Mike was definitely an asshole, but if he died he did so after realizing the degree to which he had been an asshole and taking at least one step to try and rectify it.

        I really do hope Mike lives, though, redemption equals death is played out. Realizing you now have to deal with all these people who are calling you on your past assholitude and you can’t just asshole back at them is way more fun to watch.

  10. Sirksome

    We still debating on the whole Mike is dead thing? Cause the fact that Blaine said he is immediately disqualifies it for me. He’s alive and fucking someone’s mom right now on his hospital bed.

    1. Regalli

      Honestly I figure Blaine has no fucking clue either way. Hoping Mike’s alive, in bad shape, but conscious enough to at least make sounds of clear acknowledgement to Ethan. (Preferably more, but it’s early and he probably still needs a lot of sleep.)

    2. King Daniel

      Even if Mike’s alive, he was in bad enough condition when we last saw him (after he threw himself and Blaine off a building) that I’m willing to predict now that – barring a timeskip longer than any we’ve had in the comic to date – we won’t see him leave the hospital until the real-life one-year anniversary of the fall.

      For the record: that’s 7 January 2021, over seven months from now. It has currently been just over five months since we saw Mike last, barring Amber’s flashback of the aftermath and her hallucinating his presence since.

      1. Masumi

        I once got hit by a tram, hit the ground some 10 m further downroad, headfirst. Was out of the hospital 4 days later. You *can* be incredibly lucky.

        1. Azhrei Vep

          What little we saw of post-fall Mike did not look incredibly lucky. Just … lucky enough to survive.

    3. Needfuldoer

      Mike is dead. He was replaced by a doppelganger in 1966.

  11. Regalli

    On the subject of the character poll, I just realized after voting for Carla in the Carla vs Sierra bracket that yeah, Sierra hadn’t had as much screentime lately… because her last line was in April 2019 and her last appearance before that was a year earlier, so, vote Sierra! Show support for her! (I miss her.)

    1. Ryek Hvek

      Sierra Missed ??

      1. Captain Oblivious

        Bravo

    2. SuperZero

      Her AC’s not that high. You must have a terrible attack bonus.

      1. Deanatay

        Regali’s probably a wizard with low Dex.

  12. Treita

    The amount of recent deaths in my life has made this a little difficult, but there’s also hope here. Family worth having, friends that stick together and support each other, weakness turned to strength, the strong showing vulnerabilities, it’s beautiful.

  13. BBCC

    Damn, Becky, way to speak to the way I’ve felt since 2014 or 15 at least.

  14. butts

    joyce’s mom does huff butts, it’s true

  15. clif

    Alt text – for a Nickel.

  16. cartoogle

    Not serious, but it feels like we’ll still be in this van come July, and Mike will still be Heisenberg Mike, neither living nor dead.

    1. cartoogle

      Good lord, the kidnapping happened in March. We’ll still be in this van come September.

      1. Rayndel

        Good news! The end of this storyline is July 23rd, per Willis.

        1. NinjaNick

          I thought it was June.

        2. Rayndel

          So it is. I don’t know how I misread that last night when I went to double check. . My apologies.

        3. Needfuldoer

          June 23rd.

        4. sharktrs

          How in the hell is Willis going to be able to wrap this up in two weeks?

        5. Needfuldoer

          We’ll probably see the kidnapping resolve by then,and we’ll have the whole next arc (which lasts into September) to deal with the fallout.

          I suspect Mike’s fate may not be revealed until the next chapter either. That was the big cliffhanger from the last chapter.

      2. Ryek Hvek

        Time stretching may have reached a peak during the epoch of radio soap operas, as one character spent 17 days in a revolving door having flashbacks.

  17. John

    Actual last thing Amber said to Mike (on-panel, anyway) seems to be here: https://www.dumbingofage.com/2019/comic/book-10/01-birthday-pursuit/technically/

  18. NinjaNick

    Yeah, the peeps in charge…are jerks, specifically in D.C.

    1. Chris Phoenix

      Depends which peeps. The mayor of DC just painted BLACK LIVES MATTER across the entire street, several blocks long, right outside the White House where the protesters were. https://www.nbcnews.com/politics/politics-news/d-c-mayor-bowser-has-black-lives-matter-painted-street-n1225746

      And renamed that section “Black Lives Matter Plaza” for good measure.

      1. MW

        Performative support isn’t the same thing as genuine solidarity, though. Muriel Bowser is honestly fucking terrible – even a brief stroll down her Wikipedia page shows as much – and she shouldn’t be applauded for what amounts to a cheap PR move when the vast majority of her efforts seem to be going towards enriching her donors instead of actually helping her constituents.

  19. Bagge

    Well, Becky is certanly earning everything Robin pays here. These tweets might well put Robin back in office.

  20. abysswatcher1993

    The peeps in charge are still peeps. They can die, and to avoid them being replaced by another that is worse the laws must change. Sometimes you have to burn the law for the sake of law.

  21. BenRG

    Amber may feel guilty that she never made her peace with Mike but Joyce is right that it is fundamentally very difficult to make peace with a man who is reflexively an asshole and could seemingly never bring himself to be nice for any sustained period, even though his last acts seem to have indicated that there was a good man hiding within him all along.

  22. Arianod

    Fair’s fair.

  23. Keulen

    The peeps in charge have been pretty bad for a long time, unless you’re rich and/or own a big corporation.

    1. CJ

      When I think back how shocked we were there n the 80ties about that cowboy, I start lo laugh and laughs and laugh.
      There were a few people that tried to do better in between, but life is just f**** complex, and rarely you get things moving without compromising.
      Or, you act like the current potus and things move in a totally random way where ever the mood takes him, and some people still think he’s doing a great job because something/I> moves.

      1. JBento

        “rarely you get things moving without compromising.” This is MOST DEFINITELY not true. Republicans haven’t compromised in years and they’ve been getting everything they want EXACTLY because they don’t compromise.

        1. Needfuldoer

          Because they know the Democrats will eventually cave in exchange for a few table scraps.

        2. JBento

          Democrats never saw a spine they weren’t allergic to, true.

        3. CJ

          hey, no Obama bashing, please.

  24. bibulb

    I’m in such a state right now that I found that last panel honestly comforting.

  25. Rabisch

    Becky is really great. Her tweets are so powerful!

  26. DarkoNeko

    it’s been a haaard day’s night. And I’ve been working like a dawwwg

  27. Insanenoodlyguy

    I mean, I feel like Amber’s Mom and Joe’s Dad would both be down to try a lot of things together…

    This needs to be the next slipshine, Willis! We need an actual “Amber’s Mom Huffs Butts” comic!

    1. Rabisch

      I totally agree with you for the urge of this Slipshine.

  28. Saucy Jack

    Joyce seems oddly calm here for a kidnapped person who just supermanned someone from their death via flying off the top of a speeding van driven by a maniac with nothing to lose.

    1. Kazuma Taichi

      Could just be all the adrenaline keeping her mind somewhat focused.

    2. Sombrero

      She’s not calm, but exhausted (scrubs narration dixit).

  29. Kazuma Taichi

    Don’t know why it didn’t hit me until this strip, but the tweets in this strip kinda resonated with how things kinda are going on irl right now. Strange moment to end up topical, how that timing worked out is just….I don’t really have a word for that feeling.

    1. Booker

      Was just thinking the same thing. But like…isn’t it funny how stuff sometimes just works like that?

  30. InTheory

    I’m loving the “Watchman”-style story-telling with Becky’s very personal thots overlaying the action she’s referring to.

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