as it turns out I learn my co-workers’ names on a need-to-know basis, bc if I don’t need to know them, why expend the effort (I’ll get them wrong anyway w/o context)
I figured out in my early 30s that my entire use of English is structured around never getting to a point in any sentence where using names would be appropriate, in part just because of how badly I fail to learn names and how difficult it is to recall even the ones I know. It takes me about a year to learn a name fairly reliably, assuming I’m working with/socialising with them on a regular basis. If I only meet/work with them occasionally, I just don’t.
Before the memory meds, I couldn’t even remember a name long enough to repeat it back to you. Now I can! And I learn names more quickly. But it’s still really hard.
Masumi
Same here! And I’m pretty much face blind too – even if I really like a person, it’ll take me a few encounters to reliably recognise them. Which makes the whole ‘finding friends’ thing kinda hard.
Embarrassing story time: once we had a French exchange student in my lab, who sat in my room actually. There was also a French girl in my Chinese class. I occasionally talked to both (yay trying to be social!).
Half a semester in, I told lab!girl a story. She was like “yeah I know, you already told me that earlier in Chinese class”.
I truly hope she didn’t notice and just thought I’m forgetful about what stories I tell o.o
I take a neuroreceptor precursor called Deanol which is only effective in rather rare cases where you have very specific metabolic production issues. (I also can’t be a vegetarian for possibly the exact same reason, but definitely for similar reasons in that my body can’t synthesise all the amino acids it needs, same as housecats. There are two rare but known genetic reasons for this; guess who appears to have BOTH lol)
Anyway, in the US it’s OTC and marketed it as an anti-wrinkle product, but that’s not actually a thing, it’s just nonsense. But if you’re in the States and want to try it, don’t look for Deanol, look for DMAE, which is the name used when they want to market it was a “smart supplement.”
Um… oh, right. Do you understand time? If you do, it’s less likely to help.
AT 73, I get to say, “Uh, Sorry, I’m having a senior moment and am blanking on your name.” Unfortunately, this is completely believable because just last week my mind refused to produce the name of someone that’s been a good friend for 50 years.
Any day now you’ll see a “Damn you, whatchurname that writes this comic!”
Yet_One_More_Idiot
Damn you!….erm…William? xP
Chronos
I’ve woken up and completely forgotten my name several times. It happened the first time no later than when I was 26. Whenever it might seem like I should know someone’s name, I point out that little tidbit. Works alright for me.
Miri
I was hanging out with my little sister once when I was a teen trying to remember how old I was. I was pretty certain I’d turned X, might have turned X+1, and had a nagging feeling I was older than that. I asked the kiddy. I was X+4, from memory. I can’t remember what X was though – maybe 13…
My husband routinely guesses his age wrong too though so I assume this is reasonably normal now we’re in our later 30s at least so I’m going to assume I was precocious ?
Plain Marie
All last year, I was remembering my age wrong. I was confusing it with my husband’s age, which I also misremember. Usually, I have to do math to remember. I guess at some point, they all blur together. So I’m like errr what year is it? So then, …..
Yet_One_More_Idiot
My aunt once misremembered her age, confusing it with the age of my dad (her younger brother).
They’re 10 years apart. xD
Clif
Forgetting your age is completely reasonable. They keep changing it on you every year.
Dr. T
My issue is that as a college instructor I get an entire new batch of names in my head and they completely replace the space in my grey matter that previous names filled, so I fully explain forgetting people’s names as that occurring.
Stifyn Baker
Yes, I’ve found over the years that as new cohorts of students arrive, their names overwrite the names of the cohorts that have left. So I’m in complete agreement on this one.
Saida
I used to have a teacher, who would only greet in the hallway the students he was teaching that year. So he wouldn’t greet you, even if you had been his student the previous two years. Maybe he had a similar thing going on!
There should be quarterly “name amnesty” days in work places where every 3 months everybody wears nice big clear name badges!!
It makes it especially bad that everybody seems to know who I am!
Emmy
This is such a great idea! I might actually suggest this at my job.
Leadsynth
Seeing names written down definitely helps. I communicate with my coworkers mostly by email, so I know all their names. But there are a few last names I’m really fuzzy on how to pronounce.
marcus erronius
My workplace has a wall dedicated to photos and names of co-workers. I casually saunter by it at least once a day to remember a name. It’s also a nice reminder that my co-workers have faces (masking is still mandatory)
We had a high turnover rate at work and I had a standard 6 Month rule for new hires. If they lasted that long I would remember their names. I didn’t like to get attached to seasonal help either.
I just got dumped with 22 new seasonal workers, who I may or may not ever work with again after last week. Ive figured out who the two senior workers are and their names, the rest of them I have no clue and no inclination to try and learn.
khn0
I promised myself to not read the comment section and I fail again.
I’ve been in the position of having regularly new places to work, as seasonal or short contract or short time worker. It’s extremely unpleasant to be me with “you’re not going to be long enough here to be bothered to be treated as a normal human”. It’s like if as I worked sub teach I wouldn’t learn the name of a new kid because he was a carny kid, or in transition to the foreign language section. Nobody ask you to get it right, but ask for a name and *try*.
Now really I have to go and stop reading this part as I do out of habit.
StClair
Case in point: I went back and forth a couple of times on whether I should spend some of my finite time and effort responding to you, because there’s a fair chance you might not ever read it. And if not, what’s the point?
(It was thinking of those who definitely will that nudged me over the line.)
Similar experience at my last job, with utterly ridiculous turnover. If someone stayed around long enough to get their official uniforms (with name tags), I’d make an effort to remember their name. Until then, they were just “new guy”, although I would make an exception for people I was training.
I’m pretty bad with names too. Biggest problem is, I might see somebody every day, but they will of course only introduce themselves once. So you really only have that one chance plus whenever you hear somebody else calling them by their name to learn.
My brain does that constantly… but it’s very unhelpful.
“Being introduced to a new person. I’ll probably never see them so no need to remember their name.”
“Oh, look, it’s that person I was introduced to yesterday, whatshisname?”
“I’ve seen this dude three days in a row, clearly we’ll be working together regularly. I’ve been calling him ‘hey you’ for three days; I NEED to know his damned name! …but we’re already past the introductory period and it’s way too awkward to ask now. I need to hover around other conversations like a spy and hope someone else addresses him by name… How do I keep getting a reputation as a creepy guy again?”
Remembering nuanced things like the names of Transformers or voice actors for Xiaolin Showdown or Teen Titans characters is much more important than a replacement’s name.
Yes, this tracks. When people compliment me on my memory because I’ve just recited an entire passage from a Discworld novel, I reply “Yeah, now ask me if I’ve had lunch”.
They probably didn’t have the best first impression given the psychological ‘dunking’ on everyone they did at the RA meeting. Even if Ruth specifically asked for it, it did come off as rude/presumptuous to assume it about strangers even if they were mostly? right, even if it’s a harsh truth someone needs to hear, from someone who wants to be a therapist, usually that kinda talk would be done in private and (hopefully) without judgement
Also, lately a lot of Amber’s coping mechanisms have been deeply rooted in the “I am already unrepentant garbage, so it’s immaterial that I would be this devoid of basic social grace, because I Am A Goblin and thus it’s just easier to accept that being this way is normal and put in zero effort whatsoever,” school of philosophy. It was always kind of a problem, but it has definitely metastasized since all the cool trauma has gone down.
212 thoughts on “Extraneous”
Ana Chronistic
as it turns out I learn my co-workers’ names on a need-to-know basis, bc if I don’t need to know them, why expend the effort (I’ll get them wrong anyway w/o context)
Mr. Random
I get by way too long with just “hey, how are you?”
Dara
I figured out in my early 30s that my entire use of English is structured around never getting to a point in any sentence where using names would be appropriate, in part just because of how badly I fail to learn names and how difficult it is to recall even the ones I know. It takes me about a year to learn a name fairly reliably, assuming I’m working with/socialising with them on a regular basis. If I only meet/work with them occasionally, I just don’t.
Before the memory meds, I couldn’t even remember a name long enough to repeat it back to you. Now I can! And I learn names more quickly. But it’s still really hard.
Masumi
Same here! And I’m pretty much face blind too – even if I really like a person, it’ll take me a few encounters to reliably recognise them. Which makes the whole ‘finding friends’ thing kinda hard.
Embarrassing story time: once we had a French exchange student in my lab, who sat in my room actually. There was also a French girl in my Chinese class. I occasionally talked to both (yay trying to be social!).
Half a semester in, I told lab!girl a story. She was like “yeah I know, you already told me that earlier in Chinese class”.
I truly hope she didn’t notice and just thought I’m forgetful about what stories I tell o.o
Adam Black
memory meds? which ones
Dara
I take a neuroreceptor precursor called Deanol which is only effective in rather rare cases where you have very specific metabolic production issues. (I also can’t be a vegetarian for possibly the exact same reason, but definitely for similar reasons in that my body can’t synthesise all the amino acids it needs, same as housecats. There are two rare but known genetic reasons for this; guess who appears to have BOTH lol)
Anyway, in the US it’s OTC and marketed it as an anti-wrinkle product, but that’s not actually a thing, it’s just nonsense. But if you’re in the States and want to try it, don’t look for Deanol, look for DMAE, which is the name used when they want to market it was a “smart supplement.”
Um… oh, right. Do you understand time? If you do, it’s less likely to help.
Paradox
That’s exactly how I interact with my identical twin cousins
I don’t know which is which, so I just never use names
Meagan
Ive done that but then it gets to this point where it seems like too much time has gone by for it to be OK to ask.
Clif
AT 73, I get to say, “Uh, Sorry, I’m having a senior moment and am blanking on your name.” Unfortunately, this is completely believable because just last week my mind refused to produce the name of someone that’s been a good friend for 50 years.
Any day now you’ll see a “Damn you, whatchurname that writes this comic!”
Yet_One_More_Idiot
Damn you!….erm…William? xP
Chronos
I’ve woken up and completely forgotten my name several times. It happened the first time no later than when I was 26. Whenever it might seem like I should know someone’s name, I point out that little tidbit. Works alright for me.
Miri
I was hanging out with my little sister once when I was a teen trying to remember how old I was. I was pretty certain I’d turned X, might have turned X+1, and had a nagging feeling I was older than that. I asked the kiddy. I was X+4, from memory. I can’t remember what X was though – maybe 13…
My husband routinely guesses his age wrong too though so I assume this is reasonably normal now we’re in our later 30s at least so I’m going to assume I was precocious ?
Plain Marie
All last year, I was remembering my age wrong. I was confusing it with my husband’s age, which I also misremember. Usually, I have to do math to remember. I guess at some point, they all blur together. So I’m like errr what year is it? So then, …..
Yet_One_More_Idiot
My aunt once misremembered her age, confusing it with the age of my dad (her younger brother).
They’re 10 years apart. xD
Clif
Forgetting your age is completely reasonable. They keep changing it on you every year.
Dr. T
My issue is that as a college instructor I get an entire new batch of names in my head and they completely replace the space in my grey matter that previous names filled, so I fully explain forgetting people’s names as that occurring.
Stifyn Baker
Yes, I’ve found over the years that as new cohorts of students arrive, their names overwrite the names of the cohorts that have left. So I’m in complete agreement on this one.
Saida
I used to have a teacher, who would only greet in the hallway the students he was teaching that year. So he wouldn’t greet you, even if you had been his student the previous two years. Maybe he had a similar thing going on!
Ana Chronistic
I sometimes talk about artists by the name of their comic, just bc I don’t know if *who I’m talking to* remembers who it is
my spouse remembers Willis, tho, bc he’ll laugh and call him “Wesley Willis”(??)
Miri
There should be quarterly “name amnesty” days in work places where every 3 months everybody wears nice big clear name badges!!
It makes it especially bad that everybody seems to know who I am!
Emmy
This is such a great idea! I might actually suggest this at my job.
Leadsynth
Seeing names written down definitely helps. I communicate with my coworkers mostly by email, so I know all their names. But there are a few last names I’m really fuzzy on how to pronounce.
marcus erronius
My workplace has a wall dedicated to photos and names of co-workers. I casually saunter by it at least once a day to remember a name. It’s also a nice reminder that my co-workers have faces (masking is still mandatory)
Tarpo
We had a high turnover rate at work and I had a standard 6 Month rule for new hires. If they lasted that long I would remember their names. I didn’t like to get attached to seasonal help either.
ktbear
I just got dumped with 22 new seasonal workers, who I may or may not ever work with again after last week. Ive figured out who the two senior workers are and their names, the rest of them I have no clue and no inclination to try and learn.
khn0
I promised myself to not read the comment section and I fail again.
I’ve been in the position of having regularly new places to work, as seasonal or short contract or short time worker. It’s extremely unpleasant to be me with “you’re not going to be long enough here to be bothered to be treated as a normal human”. It’s like if as I worked sub teach I wouldn’t learn the name of a new kid because he was a carny kid, or in transition to the foreign language section. Nobody ask you to get it right, but ask for a name and *try*.
Now really I have to go and stop reading this part as I do out of habit.
StClair
Case in point: I went back and forth a couple of times on whether I should spend some of my finite time and effort responding to you, because there’s a fair chance you might not ever read it. And if not, what’s the point?
(It was thinking of those who definitely will that nudged me over the line.)
Wizard
Similar experience at my last job, with utterly ridiculous turnover. If someone stayed around long enough to get their official uniforms (with name tags), I’d make an effort to remember their name. Until then, they were just “new guy”, although I would make an exception for people I was training.
Michael Lanting
I’m pretty bad with names too. Biggest problem is, I might see somebody every day, but they will of course only introduce themselves once. So you really only have that one chance plus whenever you hear somebody else calling them by their name to learn.
Hinoron
My brain does that constantly… but it’s very unhelpful.
“Being introduced to a new person. I’ll probably never see them so no need to remember their name.”
“Oh, look, it’s that person I was introduced to yesterday, whatshisname?”
“I’ve seen this dude three days in a row, clearly we’ll be working together regularly. I’ve been calling him ‘hey you’ for three days; I NEED to know his damned name! …but we’re already past the introductory period and it’s way too awkward to ask now. I need to hover around other conversations like a spy and hope someone else addresses him by name… How do I keep getting a reputation as a creepy guy again?”
Ray Radlein
“Okay, Extraneous Mike”
brionl
New Mike,
New hoo hoo hoo Mike
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UIKGV2cTgqA
Josh Spicer
Remembering nuanced things like the names of Transformers or voice actors for Xiaolin Showdown or Teen Titans characters is much more important than a replacement’s name.
Grayfinity
Oof. Gonna need a Burn Heal for that one.
Daibhid C
Yes, this tracks. When people compliment me on my memory because I’ve just recited an entire passage from a Discworld novel, I reply “Yeah, now ask me if I’ve had lunch”.
Daibhid C
…That kind of works as a reply, but wasn’t actually meant to be one.
How This Comments Section Works is another thing that you’d think I’d remember, but don’t…
Mr. Random
….. booster?
jeffepp
…Gold
And Blue Beetle.
Clif
Backup Mike.
Yet_One_More_Idiot
…boost….errrr
…vaccination? lol
Clif
booze errr
drunkee? lol
boom errr
old fart? lol
etc.
Doom Shepherd
Solid Rocket.
Deanatay
That’s the GoG/Metal Gear crossover character, right?
Mr. Random
Either that or a porn parody for… either of them really.
StClair
Not wrong.
Cyntalan
Agreed.
Schpoonman
Imagine insulting Booster like that, what the fuck.
anon
They probably didn’t have the best first impression given the psychological ‘dunking’ on everyone they did at the RA meeting. Even if Ruth specifically asked for it, it did come off as rude/presumptuous to assume it about strangers even if they were mostly? right, even if it’s a harsh truth someone needs to hear, from someone who wants to be a therapist, usually that kinda talk would be done in private and (hopefully) without judgement
Throwatron
Also, lately a lot of Amber’s coping mechanisms have been deeply rooted in the “I am already unrepentant garbage, so it’s immaterial that I would be this devoid of basic social grace, because I Am A Goblin and thus it’s just easier to accept that being this way is normal and put in zero effort whatsoever,” school of philosophy. It was always kind of a problem, but it has definitely metastasized since all the cool trauma has gone down.
Clif
Insult? That’s a rare complement.
I mean, there’s a reason it’s rare, but still.
Schpoonman
You always have the worst takes, nice to know you’re staying regular.
milu
you do realize Clif’s comments are pretty much always tongue-in-cheek?
jimbotherisenclown
I mean, Booster is the most horrible person in the main cast, just like Mike was. So, from an in-universe level AND a meta level, Amber is right.
Grayfinity
Imagine your whole existence is summed up as being a replacement for someone else. It’s bad enough everyone forgets you exist to begin with.
Wizard
Mike’s assholery was somewhat amusing, albeit more so in the Walkyverse settings. So far, Booster mostly just strikes me as annoying.
Lan
Exactly, why insult Booster by reducing them to Mike’s replacement when there’s a bounty of others
True Survivor
When the gang finally drives Booster over the edge it is going to be terrifying.
Clif
Look how long it took for them to drive Joyce over the edge. And yeah, it was terrifying, but life goes on.
Bryy
The Gang Destroys Booster.
Needfuldoer
I got you.
https://www.iasip.app/60cna2znIkykqFviUvl_ug
True Survivor
*clap clap clap*
Clif
You know, there’s an art to writing that kind of music.
Suet
Careful, if Booster‘s Replacement Mike, I am not inclined to visit another wake.
There should be no lightbulb above my head, considering yesterday.
Nono
Why would Amber be here, huh. She’s definitely not wanting to see Walky, so she’s… here to see Booster???
Clif
No reason to be there to see Booster, so she must have unfinished business with Walky.
Grayfinity
Perhaps. Forgive me if I’m wrong but I think Walky’s the only one she’s close (enough) to that is still willing to talk to her.
Ethan’s got those terra shields up. Amber’s got all the social grace of a hikikomori.
Nono
There’s Joe.
Clif
Annoying brothers don’t count.
Rabisch
I hope her annoying brother Joe will become more and more important for Amber.
Cattleprod
Silverbolt and Silverbolt’s friends #1-4. And sometimes Alpha Bravo and Powerglide.
pdp15