165

Friendly
Posted on March 17, 2018 by David M Willis

165 thoughts on “Friendly”

  1. Doctor_Who

    Since Mary’s been more cheerful lately, Carla’s going through meanness withdrawal. I’d suggest introducing her to Mike, but he’d probably be a perfect gentleman out of spite.

    1. Reltzik

      …. okay, I’d ask how Doctor Who got in before Ana Chronistic, but the answer is that one of them’s obviously doing time travel correctly.

      1. Durandal_1707

        The reason DW doesn’t usually manage it is because he keeps screwing up his piloting and ending up at the Battle of Hastings instead.

        1. Jess

          Davis Willis or doctor who?

        2. Doctor_Who

          Fun Fact, William the Conqueror once confided in me that he was actually known as William the Flatulent due to suffering from a delicate stomach. The entire Norman conquest of England was just so he could get a reputation for something else.

        3. C.T Phipps

          Given what we know of the Normans, that’s entirely possible.

        4. Stellar

          Fun fact, when he conquered England, William the Conquerer was known as Guillame Batarde. William the Bastard. The two were interchangeable.

          It was only changed a couple generations later to legitimise his dependents. The English put a lot of stock in that. The Germanic Normans, not so much.

        5. pdp15

          http://tinyurl.com/y7668xdf

          “On ‘is ‘orse, with ‘is ‘awk in ‘is ‘and!”

          Classic Stanley Hollaway poem.

        6. pdp15

          (correction)
          Marriott Edgar poem recited by Stanley Halloway.

        7. merbrat

          I somehow misread the name as Sterling Holloway.
          Read the poem in Winnie the Pooh’s voice.

        8. Delicious Taffy

          That reminds me. Winnie the Pooh and the I’m Not Crying, You’re Crying is coming soon to a theater near you.

      2. Ana Chronistic

        the correct answer is Friday is date night and I usually have the itis by update time

        1. GreatContagion

          Heh. Heheheh. Itis…. toward the end of date night huh?

  2. Ana Chronistic

    LOVE TRIANGLE

    with the obtuse angle tryna jump ship

    1. Lux

      That’s exactly what I thought 😀

      1. Lux

        … that emoji looks horrifying.

    2. Dana

      Yup.

  3. Pan

    Call me a bad girl Malaya!

    1. C.T Phipps

      While possibly a sign of attraction, I think Carla just knows that utterly defuses Malaya.

      1. Joe Helfrich

        With that lip bite?

  4. Well_Played

    So it begins…

  5. spriteless

    Aww Carla needs a kismesis.

    1. Delicious Taffy

      But…she can’t cheat on Mary like that.

      1. Delicious Taffy

        For the record, this is a joke. I only really ship Carla♦Joyce, and Carla♣Ruth/Billie.

        1. Deanatay

          But, Carlaya!

        2. Dark

          …What.

    2. Poskie

      Yeeeeees.

  6. DailyBrad

    Okay, I retract my complaint about Marcie yesterday, sounds like she’s at least trying here.

    Also, Carla, you kinkster.

    1. TrueVCU

      Agreed

    2. Fart Captor

      I maintain that if Marcie has decided she no longer wants Sal as a friend, she had no obligation to do this.

      I am honestly a little weirded out at how so many people seem to have it in their heads that Sal and Marcie’s past friendship would somehow overrule Marcie choosing to cut Sal out of her life, and not standing up for her made her a horrible person. It’s not as if Marcie had stood by and watched while Malaya was trying to murder Sal.

      In my opinion, standing up to protect the feelings of someone you feel has hurt you bad enough that you never want to speak to them again falls clearly into the category of “a nice thing to do, but completely optional”, regardless of any past history.

      1. C.T Phipps

        Well, in this case, Sal is a lifelong friend who has not done anything to lose Marcie other than get in a fight where circumstances went utterly out of control and involved chasing a rapist.

        1. Zerkai

          No. Sal very clearly stated a fight at a rally Marcie was pulling security at. She yanked Amazi-Girl down from her ledge into a fall because she was annoying her and caused a the whole fight and the crowd Marcie had to deal with, she probably got in trouble because of it too.

        2. BBCC

          AG was stalking Sal. Sal yanked her out of her hiding spot, but after that she did not touch her. And Marcie knows that AG was stalking Sal because Sal said out loud that AG had been following her all day when Marcie was right there. This isn’t even the first time AG’s stalked Sal with the intent of getting in a fight, and Marcie knows that too because she was THERE the first time.

          The only actual fight that happened was with Ryan and Ryan started that one.

        3. Inahc

          Marcie tried to stop sal and AG (because that’s her job) and Sal told her it would take “two seconds” to finish it. She was fully intending to get to physical blows, and then AG spotted “Ryan”.

          Regardless of who counts as “starting it”, sal brushed off her friend’s attempts to de-escalate and seemed completely oblivious to the fact that it was her friend’s whole job to stop fights from happening. That’s pretty damn … I forget the word but “stupid” is close :p

        4. Fart Captor

          Yes, and the fact that Marcie’s decision was based on a misunderstanding makes it very tragic. She still has every right in the world to make that decision.

          If you feel the need to cut someone out of your life, you are not required to give them a trial first. You don’t have to be “fair”, or let anyone else dictate how many second chances that person deserves based on how long long you’ve known them. If you feel they’ve done enough harm that you need them out of your life, that is your decision and nobody else’s.

          I’m really glad she seems like she hasn’t decided to burn that bridge entirely, but she would not be a monster simply for choosing to do so.

        5. BBCC

          Marcie doesn’t know that. And even if she did, it’s not unreasonable to be upset your friend’s actions got you fired, even if their actions were totally correct.

        6. Inahc

          Eh, AG and Sal were both making complete asses of themselves until “Ryan” showed up.

        7. Inahc

          And for reference, here’s where the AG/Sal fight starts. http://www.dumbingofage.com/2016/comic/book-6/04-it-all-returns/puppy/

      2. BBCC

        And heck, even if she STILL considers Sal a friend, she is still very angry with her, feeling betrayed, and does Not want to talk to her right now. That’s still not a headspace very conducive to telling Malaya to knock it off – that’s more like a headspace that’s going to lead to venting about things Sal’s done that have annoyed her before.

      3. Jay

        I again direct you to malaya’s conversation with sal a chapter ago, marcie still cares for Sal they’re just having a spat rn.

    3. CJ

      While I don’t think Marcie’s obligated to say something, I do avoid people who keep on ranting about another person with no real reason. Malaya accusing Sal of being phony definitely falls into that category.

      And now she says he reason was being supportive? wtf
      I’m not sure about Carla here, is she really into being called names by Malaya or did she just guess it would be the fastest way to get Malaya to shut up?

  7. AnvilPro

    I like how in this universe Carla is the one who is really forward about being with Malaya, I could actually really like them in a relationship this time around

    1. Cholma

      Look at her bite her lip! Perhaps she should check & see if the campus has an “Argument Office”?

      1. MatthewTheLucky

        No she shouldn’t!

        1. Stellar

          *Ding* Thank you, that’s it.

        2. Cholma

          Dammit, I could’ve replied before you, but I got caught up watching the skit again! It’s addictive!

        3. Stellar

          No, you couldn’t.

        4. Cholma

          Yes, she should!

        5. Proxiehunter

          This isn’t an argument it’s just contradiction!

        6. Inahc

          No it isn’t! 🙂

  8. Joey245

    Carla’s face in panel 4: perfection.

    1. Joey245

      Shoot, I meant panel 5. I can count, guys, I swear.

      1. No Name

        Of course you can count, you just count like a computer.

      2. Stellar

        More interested in Marcie’s face in the final panel. Death beam

  9. Reltzik

    …. wait, is it that Carla likes people being mean to her (probably) or that she would rather spare Sal the meanness (possibly, if Cerebus’s crush-ship holds water), or both?

    1. Mordecai

      So…what does this mean for Mary?

      1. Shade

        Probably nothing, she had no where near that kind of response to Mary.

      2. BBCC

        There is a difference between ‘mean’ and ‘bigoted’. ‘Go step on a lego, you insufferable jackass’ is mean. ‘I’m taking you to the boy’s dorm where you belong’ is bigotry.

        Mary’s pretty squarely the latter, while Carla seems pretty amused by the former.

      3. Reltzik

        There’s mean, and then there’s hostile, and then there’s hate crime.

    2. Shade

      She clearly like Malaya doing it to her.

  10. Passchendaele

    Haha Malaya’s oblivious to the both of them, isn’t she? This will be *perfect*.

    1. spriteless

      In Shortpacked she was pretty… aromantic? …asexual? …somewhere on the gray rainbow. She got in relationships because she thought that was what you do to see if they work, not because she felt attraction. Then she got in a relationship with a robot who didn’t do the smoochy stuff, just skipped to the end, and was pretty happy. Then they watched movies together, and it was the least assholish thing either ever did.

      1. Dana

        She identified as a “homoromantic asexual trans-chassis woman”. http://www.shortpacked.com/index.php?id=1994

        1. the final pam

          That was Carla, not Malaya. spriteless is talking about Malaya.

        2. GoblinScribe

          Malaya was implied there to be demi—”I’m attracted to whatever she is.”

        3. the final pam

          I know.

        4. Dana

          Ooh, sorry, misread. Malaya was Ultracarsexual. 🙂

  11. BBCC

    Awwww, I love these two, whatever universe.

    And Marcie is adorable, but that’s nothing new. That’s just an unspoken truth.

    1. spriteless

      I see what you did there.

      1. BBCC

        Pffft! I completely missed that.

  12. Shiro

    …I was totally gonna say something about the nature of friendship and don’t diss your friends’ friends even when they fight but now I’m more concerned about Carla, is she okay?

    I mean if she’s being sincere and not mocking right now, it looks like she’s better than okay, but…

    1. Mr. Random

      Someone hasn’t read Shortpacked!.

      1. Shiro

        Probably, but that someone ain’t me 😛 Just the sudden switch from “I’m concerned about your friendship” to “yes call me a bad girl” is…jarring

        1. Emperor Norton II

          My first reaction to that particular frame was an optimistic one, thinking it was classic Carla.

          Like, we all know that Carla cares about the well-being of other people in general, and we know that she hides this as much as she possibly can because she has to live in an armored shell lest people exploit this to attack her.

          So I was thinking that this was Carla’s way of making Malaya tone it down on Sal, but without appearing to care about Sal in any way. If nothing else, at least Carla seems to trust Malaya to only be mean to her in non-bigoted ways. Which to Carla is like a mild gentle summer rain compared to the torrents she’s had to endure.

          But…

          …There’s something about her expression in that panel that I somehow feel doesn’t really match up with that particular interpretation, so the probability of me being wrong here is even higher than usual.

        2. Kannen

          What? A chance that his highness the emperor of the internet might be… wrong? Impossible!

          But seriously though, I agree that Carla’s expression seems rather, well, intense for her to just be joking around as usual.

  13. Some1

    I’m starting to get worried about Yumi. Normally I wouldn’t notice, but my guilt has fixated me.

  14. Kyrik Michalowski

    Well I’m glad that Marcie is asking Malaya to be nicer even if it’s not the same thing as stivking up for your friend. Granted, I also don’t know how long ago the incident with Amazi-girl was, so she could still be ticked about that. Either way, here’s hoping Sal and Marcie continue to be friends, with or without Malaya in the equation.

    1. cbwroses

      I think it’s been over a week since that was a day or two before Amber stabbed Ryan, and then we skipped a couple days, and it’s been a couple of days since the skip.
      I don’t think it’s been two weeks though.

      1. McBogue

        The Sal-AG incident was 9 days ago.

        1. cbwroses

          Cool. I was right, in a vague sense. I vaguely raise my fist in the air in celebration.

  15. Tacos

    Oh I see where this is going…

  16. Doom Shepherd

    Next time, on “Everybody Loves Malaya”…
    “Wait…if she’s here…then that means… OH, BOY…”

  17. klj

    Oh my gosh, Carla’s face in panel 5. (I mean, same…. but that’s irrelevant.)

  18. Keulen

    Despite their relationship in the Walkyverse, I somehow didn’t expect this from Carla here.

  19. Regina Phalange

    “I hate Sal on a personal level for these specific reasons that *personally* annoy me about her.”
    “Whoa, I mean, you could be friendlier to her….”
    “Oh, yeah, totally, I was only saying those things because I’m trying to be supportive of your fight with her.”

    …And Malaya’s calling Sal fake? Relatedly, is there supposed to be a cosmic sort of comedy in the fact that apparently everyone loves this girl?

    1. BBCC

      I don’t think that’s the ONLY reason Malaya doesn’t like her, but considering the situation, the irony is delightful.

      And as much as I adore them both, Marcie and Carla aren’t really representative of the strip as a whole.

      1. Clif

        Well, at this point, Marcie wants her for her body and Carla has a crush that just struck Malaya as kind of wierd. But it’s early days yet.

    2. cbwroses

      Yeah, I don’t think her “beautiful pissiness” needs any excuse to be aimed at anyone.
      Personally, I think they both have legitimate reasons to dislike each other. However, I also think Malaya has some illegitimate ones as well that, combined with her self described attiude, makes her much more unlikeable to me.

      1. Regina Phalange

        Totally agree. It’s always been legitimate that she and Sal just don’t like each other–but from what I’ve seen, Sal’s been pretty honest with herself and others about why. Here, I feel like Malaya is almost implying that the only reason she said what she said last strip–and the only reason she hasn’t been nice to Sal in general–is to support Marcie, which is just…….so clearly not true. And as long as she’s denying to Marcie that she acts the way she acts simply because she doesn’t like Sal, the more she’s dangling hope that she and Sal can coexist in Marcie’s life when they reconcile.

        1. Clif

          Marcie and Malaya have a degree of honesty in their relationship which is amazing.

          Which is to say, almost none.

    3. Nope

      To be fair it seems like just two people like her, the rest only like Fuckface.

  20. TheKelliestKelly

    I may not like Malaya, but I appreciate the level of self worth she displays here. And I’m glad Marcie confronts the hostility Sal and Malaya have for each other on both sides

  21. C.T Phipps

    Again, I’m really hoping Malaya and Marcie get together. I mentioned yesterday Malaya and Leslie’s date in the SP! continuity ended with Malaya saying she’s not gay and that would be awful but I hope that won’t happen here.

    1. the final pam

      I mean, Malaya did end up dating Carla, so she’s queer to some extent. Really, I think what happened was that she just wasn’t in love with Leslie or at least didn’t feel a spark, but she thought she did. And then Malaya made the blunder of “oh I didn’t feel anything, guess I’m not gay!” which happens to a lot of people.

  22. C.T Phipps

    Malaya: What I mean, Marcie, is that Sal hates me and I don’t put up with crap from people who hate me because I can totally take her.

    *Sal and Malaya get in a fight, the much-much smaller Malaya kicks Sal’s ass*

    1. BBCC

      Malaya’s like an inch shorter than Sal at most. She’s not that tiny.

    2. cbwroses

      I wouldn’t be surprised if Malaya did kick Sal’s ass, just because it would be a bit unexpected, but considering that Sal claims to have never lost a fight, that Marcie is the one who holds her back, and that she actively complained while drunk that she doesn’t get to fight because Marcie keeps her in check, I doubt it.
      I’m actually really hoping to see them fight so we can finally get it over with.

    3. brasca1

      Amazi-Girl took her down easily enough. I think Malaya is an even bigger poser than she thinks Sal is.

      1. Some1

        Someday I kind of want to redo the tournament battle, but remove all the special powers and dragon ball z jokes, and just examine which character would actually win.

        1. Needfuldoer

          Mike would at least make it to the final four. Mean snark is a ranged weapon he can use outside melee range.

      2. the final pam

        Amazi-Girl also took self-defense classes and regularly gets into fights. Not saying Malaya doesn’t overestimate how tough she is, but AG has gotten into several fights and seems to be extremely strong, taking on numerous enemies with very little trouble at all.

        1. cbwroses

          True. But if we assume Amazi-girl knows how to fight, we should also acknowledge that she praised Sal’s ability to fight when they teamed up against Ryan and the other guys.

    4. Nope

      And then Malaya wakes up from her dream, but she wakes up next to marcie which is pretty sweet

  23. Pogo

    Ohhh competition

    1. Clif

      Over the oblivious.

  24. Larkle

    Oh, good. I’m glad that Marcie is still sticking up for Sal after all. I really hope that their friendship mends.

  25. Mackabre

    I love Marcie in the back of the last panel like “Carla I’m gonna need you to chill “

    1. cbwroses

      Yeah, I’m wondering if she’s going to act as aggressively towards Carla now as she did towards Lucy(?) when all she did was be very friendly towards them (and unknowingly intrude on a potentially/hopeful romantic moment for Marcie).

  26. stoodmuffin

    YES YES YES MAKE IT HAPPEN oh wait Marcie

    1. stoodmuffin

      Like, I get M was, maybe, misplaced bongoy. I am glad she has a heart, butttt IDK. But like Willis you’re fucking with me confusing my ships LIKE I.

      Man IDK.

      1. stoodmuffin

        I was ready for Carla and Malaya but MARCIE I JUST IDK

  27. newllend(henryvolt)

    No really Carla what’s your deal ?

    1. BenRG

      Yeah, suddenly I’m very worried about that question.

      1. Clif

        I thought Carla’s deal was kind of obvious.

  28. Sporky

    I don’t know what it is about Malaya, but man, the ladies love her.

    1. Needfuldoer

      There must be at least a couple things…

    2. Emily

      She’s surrounded by people with phenomenally poor judgement.

      1. Clif

        Point.

  29. brasca1

    Looks like a love triangle is emerging… and it’s unrequited for 2 of the 3 involved.

  30. Goki

    Welp, now we know Carla’s Kink…

    (Seriously though, Marcie, Carla, you can do so much better)

  31. Synnerman

    Uh oh, Marcie and Carla throwdown!

  32. Alex Boston

    Does Malaya somehow give off cocaine-induced pheromones or something? She makes Veronica Lodge look thoughtful and empathetic.

  33. Koms

    Called it.

  34. DarkoNeko

    Someone’s awakening to the dazzling world of Masochist.

    1. Zaxares

      Mmm, I would say that based on that one-line response, Carla might be turned on more by degradation/humiliation rather than masochism. Which, given her history, is honestly a bit surprising to me. Then again, I HAVE known submissives who use their submission as a sort of way to “take control” back from past sexual trauma such as rape, so perhaps this is something similar.

      1. Zee

        Wanting to be humiliated is masochism. The word doesn’t just apply to pain

        1. Zaxares

          That’s fair enough from an academic standpoint. But as someone in the kink scene, we often find it handy to be more specific and categorize humiliation/degradation as its own separate kink, since we do have people who are into it, but are not into actual physical pain. (Or vice versa.)

  35. PB

    …. I still ship it. <3

  36. Zellgato

    ..>Does everyone wanna bang her?

    1. PB

      I don’t. Most demi- or ace people probably don’t. Mary doesn’t. Malaya’s attractive to a few specific types of personality, I think.

  37. BenRG

    Panel 5 is wrong in so many ways and could the precursor of even more terribly wrong things. Is Carla really the sort of person who wants to be abused?

    1. Inahc

      There’s a big difference between abuse and kink. I don’t know if Carla knows the first thing about how to go about such things safely and responsibly, but, she at least seems capable of speaking up if she’s not having fun any more.

      That or she’s joking. But that doesn’t look like a joking face to me 😉

      Aand now I’m gonna have “sweet dreams are made of these” stuck in my head all night.

    2. Joyfulldreams

      It is called being kinky, my friend. 😛

  38. bleepbloop

    Malaya seems to be painfully straight and these poor girls have no idea.

  39. Torra

    Glad to see all the Marcie bashing yesterday turned out to be a moot point after this one strip, though I think that even if she didn’t call up Malaya on it, it would still be perfectly OK. When you’re pissed off with people you’re not going to rush to their defence.

    Also, Marcie in that last panel omg.

    1. Jago

      I don’t know about anyone else, but even if I were mad at my friend, I’d still hate when people talk shit about them behind their back. That’s just a big No for me. But I’m particularly sensitive about that kinda stuff.

      1. timemonkey

        Well, Malaya also talks shit about Sal to her face. After Sal insulted her, threatened her and they got in an actual fight then Marcie’s probably glad they’ve downgraded to shit talking.

  40. Bagge

    Still needs more fuckface.

  41. Emoroffle

    So I see Carla is The Stalker basically.

  42. bryy

    That alt-text is amazing.

    1. Clif

      True story. I have no idea who Christine Love is.

      1. McBogue

        https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Christine_Love_(writer)

        I recall that Willis made a hovertext reference to Ladykiller In A Bind not too long ago.

  43. BrokenEye, the True False Prophet

    “Practicing for roller derby”? Is that what they’re calling it now?

    1. Clif

      Ever since Roller Derby was invented.

  44. Dutchtica

    Look if this doesn’t end in a polyamorous relationship, I’d be surprised

  45. Jago

    “Marcie’s always straight with me!” …well, she probably uses the most basic speak with Malaya, because Malaya doesn’t understand sign language that well.

  46. Buli-Buli

    What happened to “Shoves are not love!”?

    1. Deanatay

      That’s ‘Shoves is not loves’. And it’s apparently slander that turns Carla on, not battery.

  47. Wright

    Sorry, Carla, but this version of you doesn’t have a gigantic extend-o arm that bursts from your chest. That’s Malaya’s kink.

  48. wakeangel2001

    everybody loves Malaya, she may be a bongo but she has a refreshing honesty…plus she’s hot, that helps

    1. Deathjavu

      She’s lying blatantly in panel 4, IMO…

      1. thejeff

        Well, she’s certainly been pushing the same basic line about Sal since before Marcie was pissed at her, but she might well have been ramping it up because of Marcie’s anger.

        1. coru

          She’s using Marcie’s anger as an excuse to ramp it up

  49. Kazumi

    Raise your hand if you read the alt-text as “Christian love” at first?

  50. Smooti

    A dangerous game you’re playing here, Willis, cuz if these three end up in a poly triad that’s it!!!!! I won’t care about any other relationship in this webcomic, the perfect one will already exist!!!

  51. 21apathy

    So uh does Carla wanna be kismesis with Malaya?

    1. C.T Phipps

      I still say it’s Carla loving to screw with Malaya….as well as kisses.

  52. emmavoid

    I really want Carla to be happy <3

  53. C.T Phipps

    Alas, Carla and Malaya can never have a relationship because Carla has dreams of uploading her consciousness into a car’s computer network to achieve transcendence.

    1. Zach

      It’s ok. She respects ‘drive’, and ambition!

  54. starkruzr

    So like, Marcie isn’t deaf, right? Or even hard of hearing? Do we know why she can’t talk?

    1. Agemegos

      Correct. No, we don’t.

  55. Josh Spicer

    Carla, I want you to be happy, and I appreciate you being more open, but girl…

  56. Dave

    Carla has ruined Malaya’s…Malayaninese.

    Carla is a treasure.

  57. Woobie

    Carla is now Cheryl.
    (from Archer)

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