275

Terms
Posted on October 3, 2017 by David M Willis

275 thoughts on “Terms”

  1. Ana Chronistic

    “well NOW ah wanna lose Marcie’s friendship JUST TO SPITE YOU”

    …nah, Malaya’s got Sal’s number alrighty

    1. Mr D

      Okay seriously do you have your comment pre-written and just copy-paste it the second the comic is up?

      1. Chronos

        Nah, just a working time machine.

      2. MatthewTheLucky

        Patreon.

      3. Cholma

        Silly Mr. D! Ana’s got one of those gold stopwatches that ACTUALLY STOP TIME. As soon as the comic posts, she stops times and then takes an hour or so to carefully craft the perfect comment. Duh.

      4. Spencer

        I think he’s a patron.

        1. Spencer

          She* Oh jesus I’m really sorry.

      5. Bagge

        Ana lives on a remote mountain and has to walk uphill ten miles in snowstorm while fighting carnivorous jaks every day to reach a crappy old windows 3.7 computer connected to a buggy satellite phone… and STILL gets the first comment.

      6. Needfuldoer

        She’s got a counterclockwise watch and a clockwork maid, so she gets even more extra adventures at Rollover than we do.

        1. Neeks

          Kol reference?

      7. Ana Chronistic

        it’s the power of spite

        also HAXX0RZ

    2. Frost Magi

      Ana Chronistic is my super duper fast twin. I’m the super slow one. This is why she has the first comment all the time and I typically have the last comment. Fact.

  2. AnvilPro

    I don’t know why, but I find this Malaya way more tolerable than Shortpacked’s ever was

    1. timemonkey

      Because she’s not stuck at a job she hates, being pestered by idiots obsessing about things she’ll never care about? That’d make anyone less pleasant.

      1. Spencer

        There was also that time she forced herself onto Ken.

        1. NubeTrasnochada

          To make her ace girlfriend jealous.

      2. Shade

        Eh, even when she wasn’t working she was pretty bad. Malaya might have an attitude here but there’s certainly more consideration for people shining through.

        1. thejeff

          Where?
          There’s consideration for Marcie, but that’s all I’ve seen. Even in SP!, Malaya could be considerate to the few she was close to – to Leslie first, then Ultra Car. The pattern seems to hold here.

        2. timemonkey

          She was also living with a guy who kept hitting on her even though she wasn’t interested.

        3. Spencer

          That guy she forced herself onto like a raging creepass.

          And then it was played off like a joke later.

        4. Spencer

          And I already said that today. To you specifically, even.

          Yay me.

        5. timemonkey

          And did I disagree with that being gross? No I did not.

        6. Spencer

          No, sorry, I was admonishing myself for bringing it up twice.

  3. Mr D

    Somebody remind me why marcie adn sal are arguing?

    1. Derek

      Sal might have cost Marcie her job as security because she “started” a fight with Amazi-girl and Ryan

    2. BBCC

      Sal was involved in a fight where Marcie worked security and it’s heavily implied she was fired.

    3. Spencer

      Sal looked like she was starting a fight with Amazi-Girl (when she was stalking her like a lunatic), and then jumped in to save her when Amazi-Girl was getting her ass kicked.

      To Marcie it looked like Sal was just jumping into fights willy nilly, and it most likely cost Marcie her job.

      Really it’s more Amber’s fault than Sal’s.

    4. Marsh Maryrose

      It kinda began when Marcie started hanging with Malaya, which irritated Sal until Marcie told Sal about her interest in Malaya.

      But the major incident was when Sal got involved in a fight at the DeSanto campaign event where Marcie was working in a rent-a-cop job. From Marcie’s point of view, everything began with Sal confronting Amazi-Girl, and even though we readers know things got more complicated, that is kinda true.

      1. Hielario

        I always find unbelievable that regular people are willing to screw such assholes.

    5. Bagge

      I also think there is an underlying issue of Sal wanting thing to stay the way they have always been, and Marcie, perhaps, wanting to do shit.

      Marcie works multiple jobs, she has several room mates, she joined roller derby… while Sal insist that she doesn’t become friends with any of the people she meets there.

      I don’t know how MUCH of an issue it is, but I think we will soon find out.

    6. Marsh Maryrose

      I love how, when the comic first goes up, an early question can get half a dozen answers, each independently written.

      Some day, that early question will get the full Rashomon treatment, and that will be the day the comments section explodes.

      1. ValdVin

        Sal: “Ah lost a glove”
        Marcie: “You lost a comb”
        “A tenor sang”
        “A baritone…”

        And things deteriorated from there.

        1. merbrat

          “Ah, I remember it well”

      2. Jon Rich

        Full Rashomon treatment?

        1. Delicious Taffy

          From what I recall, “Rashomon” refers to a specific variant of backgammon. Having never played backgammon, I couldn’t tell you anything about the rules. I also seem to recall a film named after it, so you might give that a look.

        2. darkgloomie

          The “Rashomon plot” or “Rashomon style” is when the same event is recounted by multiple characters, each with their own unique and slightly inconciliable version of the story.

          So called for the Akira Kurosawa movie “Rashomon” which pretty much codified the trope.

        3. Ntrovert

          Rashomon may not even be Kurosawa’s best film, but if you haven’t seen it, you really should.

        4. Kryss LaBryn

          That was my favourite X-Files episode. Remember that one? With the sheriff Mulder said was a total doofus and that Scully was totally throwing herself at? And that Scully said he was handsome and charming but that she was keeping it professional, unlike Mulder, who was being a complete loon?

          Season 5, episode, 12, “Bad Blood”. You can probably find it online; it’s hilarious.

        5. Gecko

          Scully: “And then you… Overreacted.”

          I like how they mix in some actual old vampire lore, like their compulsions around seeds and shoelaces.

          (as long as I can ignore Mulder’s scaring Scully with the dangerous lesbians in prison at the start, that’s one of the best comedy episodes.)

        6. Spencer

          I ran into the same problem recently. Watched some old Nostalgia Critic episodes and it was packed with jokes about trans women.

          It’s sad that I used to religiously follow that guy.

        7. Gecko

          yeah, I feel you… I watched the old NC ep about NickComs last week and he went on and on about the fact he couldn’t tell if some of the kids were boys or girls, made such a big deal of it. He just wouldn’t let it go!… :/

          Rewatching stuff now that I’ve had some personal development and built some actual self esteem can sort of break my rose-colored glasses. I sat down to re-watch Blossom and got through about two and a half ep before Six’s recurring “it could be worse; he could be gay!” joke / catch phrase got old.

          (anyone with me in the headcanon Six had a secret crush on Blossom and was incredibly conflicted over it all along? because that would help. especially if someone writes a fic on it that ends with them realizing they literally should “marry their best friend”.)

        8. Mr D

          How did we get from “what happened to Marcie and Sal” to “Nostalgia Critic is Satan”?

        9. Makkabee

          The Six thing is disturbing but sadly not at all unrealistic. There was an awful lot of casual homophobia among tweens and teens during that era. I think it’s better now among the teenaged set. When I was teaching I still saw some casual homophobia, but also a fair number of students who were comfortable with being out, and who felt safe doing it.

  4. BBCC

    SO CLOSE Malaya, and now you must die for the last comment.

    Also, suuuuuure, Malaya, you’re super duper secure about Marcie. That’s why you felt the need to bring that up, unprompted.

    1. StClair

      Yyyyyup.

    2. Reltzik

      That’s not insecurity, that’s just her getting yet another compulsive dig in on Sal.

      1. Emperor Norton II

        …And where does this compulsion stem from, if not insecurity?

        1. Spencer

          Being Malaya.

        2. Emperor Norton II

          Well, I believe that a lot of Malaya’s being is about overcompensating from her insecurity underneath.

        3. Bagge

          That’s how I read her too.

        4. Spencer

          Malaya’s too busy being better than everyone to have self esteem issues.

        5. Reltzik

          Realizing she can push anyone’s buttons and pushing everyone’s because she can?

        6. Emperor Norton II

          So being an asshole, then.

          Not sure that’s any better.

    3. Mr D

      To so what does BBCC stand for?
      I mean, there is an extra C to the USUAL abreviation.

      1. BBCC

        They’re both nicknames I’ve gone by on different sites.

      2. DinaWho

        Not going to lie, I’ve had the same thought (it’s not Children’s, because CBeebies indicates the second C goes on the front in that case)

      3. Sporky

        “‘Come to Homer’s BBBQ. The extra B is for BYOBB.'”

        “What’s that extra B for?”

        “That’s a typo”

  5. MM

    Malaya’s trying. Very, very trying.

    1. Revil Fox

      This comment isn’t getting the proper amount of love.

    2. Bagge

      *golf clap*

  6. Stephen Bierce

    *plays “Stop Draggin’ My Heart Around” on the hacked Muzak*

    1. m-m

      Drops the next quarter in for “Don’t Stand So Close to Me” by the Police

      1. Chronos

        Instead, you get “Heartbreaker” by Pat Benetar.

      2. Needfuldoer

        Okay, I can see how that would be appropriate for Sal and Jason, but not for any of the relationships between the characters in today’s comic (beyond the refrain).

    2. Marsh Maryrose

      I was going to say, “He’s not dead yet!”, but apparently the once-premature announcement has become true.

      The song of his that always plays in my mind whenever I’m in a long line is, of course, “the wai-ai-ting is the hardest part.” For road trips, it’s always, “running down a dream.”

  7. Dave Van Domelen

    Yeah, Fuckface is likely to eat the word balloons if they get too close.

    1. Doctor_Who

      Word balloons taste like crickets. Fact.

    2. begbert2

      Meh, word balloons are beneath him.

  8. Reltzik

    Word balloons would fuck with fuckface’s face.

    1. Bagge

      Bravo.

    2. Marsh Maryrose

      Point of style. Shouldn’t that be, “Fuckface’s FAAACE!”?

      1. Reltzik

        No. Look where he’s sitting. He gets in the way of caps.

        1. Ryek Hvek

          the iguana sneers at anyone’s feeble caps

        2. Jamie

          Do we need a Danny/Malaya showdown now?

        3. SgtWadeyWilson

          No, just a New Danny’s hat/Fuckface showdown.

      2. Schpoonman

        FuckFAAAAACE.

    3. Deanatay

      Fuckface has spines on his back. And when balloons meet spines…

      “POP*

  9. Derek

    I’m curious to learn how much sign language Malaya has learned and whether she’s romantically interested in Marcie. So far I don’t think she’s caught on the her crush

    1. Remmington Steele

      Is Sal being set up for the big reveal on this?

  10. Delicious Taffy

    First things first: I’m a jobless guy from Illinois, with just about nothing to my name. What can I do to help the victims in Vegas? It seems like I really should do something.

    1. BBCC

      Donating money to hospitals is helpful if you can!

      Spreading information is always helpful.

      On the more political, conceptual level, call your reps about universal background checks and ask them to block the bill unbanning silencers. Call even if you don’t think they’ll listen, because they DEFINITELY won’t if you don’t call.

      1. John Merklinghaus

        Google “Find Your Representative.” Put in your zip code. Spend a stamp to write them. a postcard stamps on a 3×5 card is economical and carries more weight than a phone call.

        1. Delicious Taffy

          This helps. My phone has no service, but I have plenty of paper and pens lying around.

        2. BBCC

          Normally attending meetings is most effective, then phone calls are actually the most effective, but failing that, email or letters are next (but include your whole address including zip or it’ll be junked). Failing both, there are websites to help fax your reps. DO NOT try social media. It’s worthless at the federal level because there’s simply too much of it.

          And never try contacting a rep who isn’t yours. They’ll say they listen for PR reasons, but they only care if you directly vote for them.

          itstimetofight.weebly.com has scripts if you need them for your letter.

    2. 10LettersIsTooLong

      If you’re healthy enough you can donate blood. Also, most blood donation places will give you coupons for free food, so that’s a perk if you’re hurting for money.

      1. BBCC

        Keep an eye on the news though – if too much blood gets donated, it can end up wasted.

        1. Delicious Taffy

          Personally, I’d rather donate the blood and find out it was tossed out as excess, than not donate and find out there wasn’t enough. It’s only a pint to me.

        2. BBCC

          Fair enough. Be sure to get checked for things like anemia first then!

        3. Delicious Taffy

          Good idea. My girlfriend’s been trying to get me into a hospital for a while, so I guess she wins this one. If I can manage the trip, I’ll be sure to get that sort of thing checked.

        4. BBCC

          I only say because, unless it’s an absolutely 100% ‘this person is actively bleeding out right here right now’ type thing, I’m not supposed to give blood because I’m anemic.

        5. Localvigiliante

          Plasma also can be donated, and it is useful. I do recommend getting yourself checked for anemia because it can make you feel subtly crappy.

        6. BBCC

          Also platelets! Lots of blood units really.

        7. thejeff

          In my experience the Red Cross checks on site for anemia – or at least for low iron content. As well as blood pressure and some other basic stuff.
          You can just go without a hospital trip first. Not to dissuade you from going to the doctor if you need a checkup.

          As for it being wasted, there’s sometimes excess after big tragic events, but there’s always a need. And once you’re on their list, they’ll keep reminding you when you can donate again. 🙂

      2. begbert2

        I’m healthy enough, I think, but every time I’ve tried to give blood they were unable to find an artery with enough blood pressure to feed the fire hose they stick in you and eventually gave up and sent me away without a cookie.

        1. BBCC

          Try drinking lots of water before you go. It makes it easier.

        2. begbert2

          I’m aware of this tactic – I actually have to do it in order to get blood drawn at the doctor’s office using ordinary little-bitty needles. It didn’t work when I tried it for the blood drive though. My arteries/veins/whatever are just too small/wimpy/whatever to play nice.

        3. BBCC

          That sucks. In that case, giving money to the blood bank is always a good alternative!

        4. DinaWho

          I’m pretty sure they draw from a vein, not an artery.

        5. ruhrow

          They definitely draw from a vein. And it can help if you hydrate a ton before you go…if you are dehydrated, your veins can be more flaccid and harder to find. And for the record, they should give you a cookie either way. I’ve never been denied a cookie if they got to the point of trying to stick me.

    3. Vulcanodon

      If you can give blood, there is a short-term need. Alas they don’t want my blood anymore. Some protein in it they don’t like.

      1. thejeff

        If you can give blood, there’s a long term need too.

    4. Ed Rhodes

      Have you donated blood? Some Red Cross facilities are actually turning people away because they have enough for the moment, but yours might not and blood doesn’t keep for very long so they’ll need some soon.

      1. ruhrow

        I go every 2mo, if possible. Disasters are good prompts to get people thinking about donating, but the most useful thing is to have a consistent supply before it’s needed.

  11. BBCC

    Sal looks ready to cry in the first panel and then the next she just reminds me of Walky making goo goo eyes at Dorothy.

    1. Chronos

      Welp, I can’t unsee that, now.

    2. McBogue

      It’s not goo-goo eyes, it’s the patented Walkerton “I’m feeling emotions I’m not sure what to do with” face.

    3. Schpoonman

      They are twins.

    4. King Daniel

      Soon she will throw a toy at Marcie.

      The toy will have a paper attached, saying, “Let’s be friends again?”

      1. Gwen

        That’s because Sal has better communication skills than Walky.

  12. Rabid Rabbit

    Dina will prove jealous of Malaya having a real almost-dinosaur hat.

    She will respond by listing Fuckface’s entire evolutionary genealogy back to the Jurassic age.

    1. King Daniel

      Puh-lease.

      Dina would never consider an iguana an almost-dinosaur when there are perfectly good dinosaurs lurking just outside the dorm windows.

      (plus iguanas aren’t really “close” reptilian relatives of the dinosaurs…you want crocs for that)

      1. ValdVin

        Yeah, that’s another conversation which would end with Dina shoving a Wikipedia printout under the door for Malaya to read (or ignore).

  13. Optimal Optimus

    1) Will we ever see Marcie without her glasses?

    2) Will we ever find out why Marcie can’t/won’t speak?

    1. Spencer

      Can’t speak, yeah. She’s mute, but used to be able to speak.

  14. Derek

    Dear Willis please disable the Diesel advertisement from this page, it’s an auto-play video that makes the page jump around (making the comic and the comments unreadable) and one cannot mute the sound

    1. Spencer

      I too have been getting weird disruptive ads from time to time.

      1. Shemp53

        Me too. Quite annoying, actually.
        It doesn’t happen with the browser on my Kindle Fire though, but then I can’t view the hovertexts. Unless someone knows how and wouldn’t mind sharing the information.
        (I’ve had the hovertext show up, but very rarely, and I don’t know why or how.)

        1. Gwen

          If it’s like my iphone, to the right of the “latest” button, there’s another invisible button.

        2. Shemp53

          Sunnuvabongo… (if that’s the term here) that works! Muchas Gracias!

  15. Jordan

    Malaya, you’re not wrong, you’re just an asshole.

    1. Fart Captor

      Um, excuse me, but she’s not just an asshole

      She also has an iguana on her head

      1. MatthewTheLucky

        Iguana’s are +5 to character nuance.

        1. Chronos

          and +5 to character nuisance!

        2. MatthewTheLucky

          Hey-o!

      2. Jamie

        Does that make her an asshat?

        1. begbert2

          Technically it makes Fuckface an asshat, in the same way that that big glove thing is a catcher’s mitt.

          And you know what? Fuckface don’t care. He’s above that.

        2. Roborat

          Well, he is pretty much above everything except the ceiling.

  16. Passchendaele

    Yeah, just get it all out there, Malaya, prove your superiority. :p

    …Honestly, I’d normally say her mentality is the product of some deep-seated insecurity, but this is malaya, so I’m actually unsure if it’s that or she’s just blunt/confident.

    1. Joyous ☿

      She strikes me as the type of person who thinks she can get away with anything cuz she’s pretty

      1. coru

        That was pretty much the entirety of her personality in Shortpacked!

  17. Keulen

    Goddammit Malaya, you were almost not being a jerk for a moment there.

  18. m-m

    Three women of color with wildly different personalities and characteristics centered in a piece of media!!! This makes me really happy… even though Malaya makes me snarl.

    1. Sporky

      While Shortpacked was still running, I eventually learned to like her… because there really isn’t much of an alternative. I guess that’s like Stockholm whatever or something.

    2. missilentmurmur

      Makes me wonder, (I know it’s not the case here, but) does the Bechdel test change when the cast contains bi and lesbian people? I mean, if the only thing portrayed that they care about were their love interests, wouldn’t it be somewhat similar? Illuminate me, please

      1. Dusk Rain

        It’s about them talking about something other than a man, so two sapphic women talking about a female (or at least some flavors of nonbinary!) love interest should pass. Incidentally, this scene also passes the POC Bechdel Test which is the same thing except replace men with white people. And that is awesome, but I still hate Malaya.

      2. bhtooefr

        No, because the point of the Bechdel test isn’t about romantic relationships, it’s about female representation. (And, in fact, given that the person who created the Bechdel test is a lesbian, and she created it in LGBT media… a sapphic relationship being depicted is very much within the spirit of the test.)

        1. missilentmurmur

          Never mind then. I thought the spirit was to represent women as not being single minded, but it seems I was wrong.

      3. thejeff

        Topic isn’t important, as long it’s not a man.
        Yesterday’s strip passes, since it’s two named women talking about an iguana. 🙂

        1. begbert2

          Except I’m reasonably confident it’s a male iguana…

        2. BBCC

          I don’t think animals count.

  19. Victor Riley

    She starts to show glimmer of coolness and decency… aaaaaand then ruins it.

  20. TheAmazingKMan

    Take the compliments where you can get them, Sal. Even if Malaya does screw them up one sentence later.

  21. MapleAmber

    I so badly want to like Malaya but man she can be jerkfacey. Also, I miss Sal and Marcie being on friendly terms.

  22. JessWitt

    As much as I want Fuckface in the favorite character poll, it might disrupt the results like crazy.

  23. Kernanator

    I dunno, that sounds like something someone who is threatened by their friendship would say.

  24. newllend(henryvolt)

    “Friends” pfffft hahaha, so I guess Marcie STILL hasn’t made a move yet.

    1. Fart Captor

      To be fair, it’s a rather scary move to make :/

      1. newllend(henryvolt)

        Fair, especially since I have a good Idea how it’s going to go.

  25. Bagge

    Malaya is SUPER-not-threatened by their friendship.

    Wow. After a morning of Malaya pushing ALL of Sal’s buttons, Sal still managed a “thank you”. That’s really good, and perhaps an indication that they WON’T rage-murder each other within three days.

    1. Sunny

      Maybe they would start getting along better if they really did get into a physical fight. Just get the aggression out, see how strong the other really is, spend a week wincing at every movement as the briuses heal, it could be a bonding experience.

      1. Bagge

        On one hand, I don’t approve of it as a healthy system for conflict resolution between room mates.

        On the other hand, it DOES sound like something Ruth would suggest.

  26. MatsuoTanuki

    Why do you feel the need to continuously poke the bear Malaya?

    1. Danni

      its just what she does best :/

  27. Goki

    Damn it Marcie, don’t you realize your “relationship”with Malaya and distancing yourself from Sal has killled your likability in the polls? No one likes her and now less people like you! Sal might not be my fave character, but she has some cool traits (loyalty to friends, cool, an on purpose jerk only when provoked), but Malaya is about as cuddly as a cannonball wrapped in sandpaper, and has a personality to match. You seriously chose the wrong girl.

    1. BBCC

      Malaya has nothing to do with why she’s mad at Sal.

      1. coru

        Well, there was a certain amount of tension already starting up because Sal doesn’t like Malaya and was feeling left out by Marcie’s ‘straying’ affection. Marcie was being pressured to be the same friend she had always been and trying to balance emotionally supporting Sal (who refuses to get other friends) with having her own life. That fight at the rally probably felt like Sal was sabotaging Marcie’s job out of the need to control her, rather than because of the bizarre Amazi-girl weirdness.

        1. BBCC

          That’s a fair reading! I took it as a past agreement about Sal not fighting being broken, though the tension about Malaya couldn’t help.

  28. Josh Spicer

    Yep, just fuck right off. Go right to Ruth and be like “Fuckface”.

    Wait, hold on…

    1. ValdVin

      “Ruth, that new roomie has a fuckin’ iguana!”
      [Flat what.]

    2. FacelessDeviant

      I think Ruth might not act on that. Since she doesn’t want to be R.A.

  29. KSClaw

    Why do I imagine there being shenanigans involving Dina getting a hold of Fuckface?

    1. newllend(henryvolt)

      Dina: Trade you a hat for a iguana.

  30. Stella

    Re: character polls, always interesting results. Dina reigns supreme again!

    But, I cannot, for the life of me, figure out why Mike always manages to make the top 10. Was he just, like, more interesting in the broader Walkyverse and there’s some residual affection here or something?

    Because if not…I mean, Mike is just kinda one-note, isn’t he? He’s boring. He’s an asshole, but not a particularly funny asshole (like Malaya [who irl I’d be *so done* within ten minutes but in a story is hilarious]), or one with hidden depths and complicated motivations (Carla, Ruth), or even an asshole who nevertheless makes a really solid point in a memorable way (Rachel).

    DoA is an excellent ensemble cast with a broad range of heroes, anti-heroes, antagonists, opportunists, and straight-up villains. Is Mike genuinely a more interesting character to read about than Leslie, our fellowship’s would-be Gandalf? Or the mysterious, assertive, unnaturally cool Marcie? Or the chaotic good antagonist to both Dorothy and Robin, Roz DeSanto?

    Friiiiig Mike. He’ just flat and boring. Pass.

    Fully support queen Dina, lord of the polls.

    1. Dellaran

      Well, Mike *is* more interesting and nuanced in Shortpacked!, so there might be some crossover appeal. Here he’s kinda two-dimensional.

    2. Renshear Blade

      I’ve wondered that as well.
      Mike has not been around enough to show his true power.
      I am sure it’s his badassiness (pretty sure that’s not a word) from the past, as he was quite hardcore.

    3. Needfuldoer

      He demonstrated his redeeming qualities a lot more in the old continuity.

      1. timemonkey

        Like saving the world and Joyce’s life.

    4. Jamie

      The poll says “favorite” not “most interesting”. I enjoy Mike’s presence. I have an inner Mike, which is not a good thing, but is nevertheless a true thing. By watching Mike operate, it lessens my impulse to act Mike-ish in real life, and that’s important to me.

      Mike operates, weirdly, as a kind of subconsciousness for the strip itself. Which is a metatextual wackiness that I enjoy because it’s interesting as a writing technique. His assholery is basically superhuman when read with a Watsonian lens: the timing and accuracy of his jabs are impossibly perfect: but when you read it with a Doylist lens, Mike shows up in DoA when the story needs a specific kind of catalyst. The specific throughline of Joyce+Mike is a kind of Man versus Nature story in, fascinatingly, a college dorm story. Joyce’s contentions with Mike are the same kind of contentions you see in a story about a guy surviving in the dead of winter. It’s not a human drama, there. (Same with Amber+Mike and Walky+Mike and even Dorothy+Mike.)

      He’s a complete asshole when you read him as a person, because his actions are overwhelmingly unjustifiable. But if you read him as, say, an earthquake, you remember that earthquakes don’t justify themselves. (Contra Malaya, who is very clearly a person, but still an asshole, and here she’s performing Mike’s role between Marcie and Sal.) Earthquakes happen, and then you tell a story about the real characters picking up the pieces. (Blaine and Toedad also served this role: not exactly good company: but the difference is that Blaine and Toedad tried to justify themselves which made them people, which ultimately made them indefensible. Mike doesn’t offer any justification, in DoA, and it makes him inhuman because you can’t empathize with him. It’s the difference between being on fire, and being set on fire. Also, he acts and then generally lets the consequences play out, rather than trying to control the outcome.)

      So, yeah. He’s definitely flat and boring. And somehow, Willis takes that and turns it into a good story. That is what fascinates me about Mike.

      Aaaaaand I’m pretty sure I’m the only one who feels that way.

      P.S. Anyone who can pull off this stunt gets an A+ in my book pretty much as long as I feel like it.

      1. Dusk Rain

        As a Mike fan, that was the best analysis of him I’ve seen.

      2. fogel

        Cool analysis.
        Some time back I suggested that Mike is like several Shakespearian characters (eg the fool in Lear) & what’s fascinating to me isn’t Mike, it’s how Willis crafts & uses him.

        1. fogel

          Mike justified his existence forever right here.
          http://www.shortpacked.com/2013/comic/book-15/01-about-face/theliewetellourselves/

      3. Stella

        That’s actually pretty interesting. I’ve never thought about it that way. Not sure I agree, necessarily, but it’s also not a perspective I’ve considered.

        It is odd because, of course, I (like most readers, probably) perceive the characters both as people and as agents in the narrative, so it’s interesting to hear how an idea can be pushed down the balance one way or the other.

        Intriguing idea there.

      4. Stella

        Ah, also, re: “favorite” vs. “most interesting.” To me, in a story, they’re usually the same, or, at least, there’s a high level of overlap between the two.

        The exception for me is villains. There are villains whom I love to watch and see what they’ll do next (springing to mind: Azula from Avatar, Professor Umbridge from Harry Potter, Echthroi from Wind in the Door); in some series, the villains are more interesting than the heroes. But I almost always favor the heroes and root for them. Unless it’s a “gray vs. gray” moral universe, I can’t root for people who do terrible things when they face people who generally don’t.

        In DoA, I think it’s notable that three of the four top faves are the most unilaterally morally good people in the strip *as well as* being dynamic and relatively nuanced. Joyce is a phenomenal protagonist in that regard, as is Dina as foil.

        Like any great foil, Dina has some similar peculiarities to Joyce. Both Joyce and Dina are sensitive and appreciate their respective routines and narrow senses of style. Both love Becky and are willing to fight to protect her. Both are enthusiastic about the subjects they love.

        So the similarities draw out the contrasts and highlight them. Dina is more reserved, less outgoing, more thoughtful, more scientifically curious. This highlights the ways in which Joyce isn’t. She takes different paths when presented with a similar fork in the road.

        Generally, a foil and a protagonist will need to go on an adventure together in order for the protagonist to complete a character arc. Frodo’s foil is Golem, the one who could not carry the ring, who was necessary to complete the story. Aang’s foil was Zuko, and eventually it was Zuko who taught Aang firebending.

        So, I really hope Dina and Joyce have an arc together! Their instant dislike of each other playing out against their mutual love of Becky while they pursue a common goal. Plus, it’d be like a mirror to the Malaya / Marcie / Sal relationship evolution going on right now.

    5. fogel

      I think it’s not possible to completely view each verse of the Willis multiverse in isolation. It’s not like information can’t travel from one to the other. For me it’s one of the most interesting things about the Willis Multiverse.

      1. Stella

        Personally, I’ve never read Shortpacked!, so I guess it’s pretty easy for me to view DoA in isolation, ya?

      2. davidbreslin101

        Think you’re right, there- definite cross-universe opinion bleed going on. I discovered DoA and Shortpacked around the same time (a few months after DoA started), and it was just bizarre to see how strongly people reacted to a “new” character who hadn’t done anything yet… still haven’t read that much of It’s Walky, but I have a fair ideas of the various character arcs in it.

        Here’s a thought- when we have an unjustified liking or disliking for someone in real life, maybe it’s ‘cos of what they did in the next universe over…. I’m off to start a cult about that right now.

    6. ArcaneDarkness

      I do not see Mike as boring. He is kind unidimensional here, but I very like the asshole character that bullies others with unconvenient truths. Mike is a Zen master of assholery and I really appreciate seeing his works, specially when he gets people without any physical violence or lie. Would not mind seeing more of him.

    7. Ronnie

      See, I’m the opposite between Mike and Malaya. I can’t stand Malaya because she’s too real and that keeps me from being able to laugh at her and makes me just want her written out of the strip, preferably by way of violence. Meanwhile, Mike is removed enough from how actual people work to be in the realm of the cartoonish, and therefore he’s more funny.

      1. Stella

        That’s interesting; I can appreciate that I think.

    8. Spencer

      I like the part where he told Amber she was doomed to become her abuser and then completely without irony she went and proved him completely correct.

      A+ storytelling.

      1. thejeff

        Well other than her being pushed (partly) by that and her not actually becoming her abuser, sure.

        Good storytelling perhaps, but doesn’t make me like Mike.

        1. Spencer

          Besides the part where she abused Danny, screaming in his face and calling him a failure of a partner, and then gaslighting Dorothy into turning against him.

        2. Emperor Norton II

          Screamed at Danny… for about five seconds. Lost control for five seconds.

          And then realised what she was doing. And then started beating herself up over it.

          Which is something Blaine never did, because he doesn’t give a shit.

          And when Dorothy asked her about it, she was putting herself down, not Danny.

          Which is something Blaine would never do.

        3. Spencer

          Uh no?

          Because he was near Sal she lost her shit on him, didn’t bother explaining a thing, and then browbeat him and blamed him for failing her. Then she told Dorothy she should “have a talk with him” because he lost the faith. She was explicitly setting Dorothy up to go browbeat Danny some more. Doesn’t matter that it failed, she still tried to turn Danny’s friends against him (and lowkey doing the same with Ethan and that “persona non grata” bullshit).

          And she’s been a prick to him every time he’s reached out to her, which she hasn’t even bothered to do even to apologize for her abuse. No instead she called him and idiot when he tried to help her and told him to fuck off so she could play her stupid video game with Sal.

        4. Spencer

          I don’t know why I say this shit if I just end up feeling bad about it later.

          IDK Amber pisses me off so much but I feel like saying this I’m shitting on actual abuse survivors, the way I felt when everyone was going “OMG AMBER IS SUCH AN ABUSER” last year.

        5. Spencer

          Christ I’ve got a lot of cognitive dissonance going on.

        6. Inahc

          “I don’t know why I say this shit if I just end up feeling bad about it later.”

          because you have some very strong feelings you haven’t managed to process yet?

          *hugs*

        7. Spencer

          You’re really nice, but it’s not fair that I keep freaking out and groveling over it later. To me or anyone else here. The idea that I might make someone else as miserable as this place made me last year scares me.

        8. Inahc

          can you afford to direct this stuff at a therapist instead?

          also https://captainawkward.com/2017/10/03/guest-post-14-free-and-low-cost-mental-health-resources/

        9. Spencer

          Yeah I’ve got a lot of mental health professionals lined up right now. Thanks.

        10. Inahc

          ugghhh why do we even *have* a mary gravatar?

  31. Danni

    malaya will never learn not to put her foot in her mouth

  32. Renshear Blade

    M: Here’s a giant piece of tasty cake!
    S: Wow! thank you very much!
    M:*drops cake on the floor*
    s:*rage building*

  33. Rukdug

    That is a very content looking iguana. I have only before seen cats look so comfortable and commanding on a human’s head.

  34. BenRG

    It’s kind of a complicated equation for Malaya. She doesn’t like or respect Sal but Marcie’s happiness is clearly important to her. So, she’s willing to go the extra mile to facilitate some kind of reconciliation between them for Marcie’s sake, no matter how much Sal personally offends her.

  35. Bagge

    Malaya’s last comment remind me SO MUCH of both Carla and Becky. “Don’t mind me, keeping up an appearance here, not feeling insecure or anything…”

    http://www.dumbingofage.com/2016/comic/book-6/03-when-god-closes-the-door/guilttrip/

    http://www.dumbingofage.com/2017/comic/book-7/02-everything-youve-ever-wanted/bridges-2/

    1. the final pam

      Yeah! Or, like, Victoria from Life is Strange. “BTW WE’RE NOT FRIENDS”

  36. Yumi

    I wonder what it is that Malaya likes about Marcie.
    Not that Marcie doesn’t seem cool and likeable, but Malaya certainly doesn’t seem to like many people, so I wonder what it is about Marcie that appeals to her.

    1. Bagge

      She, cool, likeable, they share interests and she has spent a lot of time hanging out with Malaya (not necessarily for the reason Malaya thinks, but even so). What’s not to like?

      The progress, as far as I see it went from “That cool roller derby chick”
      http://www.dumbingofage.com/2014/comic/book-5/01-when-somebody-loved-me/fun-2/

      To “This cool chick who takes time to bond with me”
      http://www.dumbingofage.com/2015/comic/book-5/02-threes-a-crowd/dontcare/

      To “It’s fun to hang out together”
      http://www.dumbingofage.com/2015/comic/book-5/02-threes-a-crowd/classes-2/

      To …whatever Malaya thinks this is
      http://www.dumbingofage.com/2015/comic/book-5/03-the-butterflies-fly-away/nuzzle/

      Of course, it doesn’t hurt that Sal doesn’t like them hanging out
      http://www.dumbingofage.com/2015/comic/book-5/03-the-butterflies-fly-away/embed-2/

      Or that one of the first times they met they got into dangerous rebel street hijinks in a parking lot.
      http://www.dumbingofage.com/2014/comic/book-4/03-up-all-night-to-get-vengeance/beforesunrise/

      1. ValdVin

        Interspersing the more obvious bit which had to be idiomized to Sal, in a few strips.here:

        http://www.dumbingofage.com/2015/comic/book-5/03-the-butterflies-fly-away/hitthat/

        1. ValdVin

          Ugh…I edited out the bit where I wondered how close Marcie was on making the intention of that strip I linked known. Malaya has to have picked up,some inkling by now, right?

    2. fogel

      Using Marcie to fuck w Sal?

  37. Pidgey

    That iguana knows things

    1. BenRG

      The iguana knows everything. Including things that he would prefer to be able to scrub from his memory.

  38. Cmd1095

    Damn it Malaya, you make a peace offering and then you try to provoke Sal again -_- you’re terrible at this

  39. Eldritch Gentleman

    It’s like Malaya has this irresistible urge to completely ruin any nice thing she does…

    1. BenRG

      As others have said, there seems to be a lot of insecurity about her.

      1. Eldritch Gentleman

        Now that you mention I can’t help but remember the speech Yondu gave to Rocket in GotG 2. Just a little bit of love…

        1. BP

          I really want a moment like that in this comic now…

  40. Arianod

    Wait. Could… Malaya have a heart after all?

    …nah. Impossible.

    1. Bagge

      Her panel 3 piece of advice is nice and helpful enough.

    2. BP

      An itty-bitty one, but it is there.

      1. Arianod

        Hmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm…

  41. fogel

    Malaya or Mary: discuss.
    (Who is the bigger fuckface?)

    1. JasonAW3

      The Iguana!

    2. Fart Captor

      Malaya might be abrasive, but to my knowledge she’s never misgendered or blackmailed anyone, or tried to hide that someone was suicidal just so she could continue blackmailing them, then get pissed when that person’s girlfriend dared blame her for those actions.

      So it doesn’t really seem like much of a contest

      1. ValdVin

        Malaya has never pulled an “I’m taking over in a power vacuum” move to cover her own dickishness or bigotry, either. The foursome of Malaya, Carla, Sal and Marcie all have a certain disregard for authority.

        Will we find out why Malaya does?

      2. fogel

        Mary is for sure more evil. But bigger FF? But she’s not actually very effective is she. Malaya arrives and is fucking w rveryone, incl both Ruth & Sal.

    3. Creativerealms

      Mary. I actually liked Malaya for the first time when she met Mary. Of course once Mary left my hatred for Malaya returned.

      1. Joyous ☿

        Honestly I enjoy her abrasive personality when it’s met with someone who plays off that persona well (Carla), or who’s a human-sized pile of garbage that needs to face someone who’ll cross lines and push buttons without getting invested enough to gratify them (Mary)

        I rlly rlly want to watch more of that and keep her away from Sal tbh!

  42. Ryek Hvek

    Well played, Malaya. Now bring on some crickets.

    1. Bagge

      You have the best gravatar

      1. King Daniel

        Of course, considering that Fuckface is an herbivore (like all iguanas), I’m sure the crickets are merely for friendship purposes.

        Also, seconding the gravatar. How could it not be the best when it depicts the best character of the Walkyverse?

  43. Playmaker

    Is it strange that I think Malaya is nicer here compared to her time in Shortpacked?

    1. Playmaker

      Of course I get that guy for my Gravatar……. hopefully this is better

    2. Arianod

      Nope, not strange: DoA Malaya has been slightly, but consistently, less hateful than the original SP! Malaya.

      Also, DoA has Mary. Mary makes almost anyone else look better by comparison.

  44. JasonAW3

    Love the Iguana!

  45. Roger Sterling

    Marcie is the biggest, most gratingly annoying shit-stirring heel since Stephanie McMahon.

    1. Roger Sterling

      Shit I meant Malaya.

      1. AlexDenton

        lol that was weird for a sec XD

  46. Geno

    Wow Malaya did a good thing. On purpose! Is this character development?

    1. thejeff

      Malaya seems very focused on particular individuals and at least pretends to be completely uncaring about others. Marcie is one she focuses on, so her doing good things for Marcie isn’t surprising.
      She’s not doing it for Sal. Unless she is. Her relationship with Sal seems more complicated than “doesn’t care”.

  47. BP

    I’m glad Marcie’s back, I missed her.

  48. Danielle

    I know Malaya doesn’t like Sal, but considering they now have to room together she should really lay off all the name-calling. Like it’s so over the top and unnecessary and just makes her seem like a total bongo like – Malaya you’ve figured out their friends and you know that Marcie moved here to be with Sal and yet you’re all ‘haha we are better friends, suck it’

    1. timemonkey

      Considering Sal has called her a cumstain and attacked her Malaya’s behaviour is not unexpected.

  49. Megan Rivera

    Fuckface is adorable and I love his side-eye in the last three panels. Malaya is the most intensely dislikeable character in this comic strip…I actually dislike her –more than Mary– for some reason and I have no idea what that says about me.

    1. Spencer

      You might just lack the lived experience to get angry over someone like Mary, whereas Malaya ticks the boxes for you.

      I’m in that boat, where she’s kind of a cardboard cutout for me but there’s other commenters who swear up and down that Mary is exactly the kind of person they put up with, and I believe that, but because it’s second hand to me, whereas I can get super angry over Ruth, Amber and Mike because of my lived experience.

  50. Tenchan

    Well of course you can’t cover fuckface with word balloons. He’s the true star of Dumbing of Age!

  51. DarkoNeko

    One step forward, two steps backward

    1. BBCC

      Quick, like a turtle, lie on your back!

      1. SgtWadeyWilson

        Sadly, DarkoNeko miscounted steps, so we’ll never make it past those traps.

        1. BBCC

          Damn! Oh well, we tried.

  52. Leon

    Is it wrong that I kinda like Malaya?

    1. coru

      Yes.

    2. SgtWadeyWilson

      Nope.

      1. Reltzik

        ….. while I love Wadey, Deadpool might not be the best person if you’re looking to consult a moral compass.

        1. SgtWadeyWilson

          Awww, you love me? You’re great too, Reltzik.

          …and you’re probably right about that moral compass thing.

    3. Spencer

      Maybe.

    4. Lapin

      Malaya is absolutely /delightful/ and there is nothing wrong with liking her, especially when you realise she’s surrounded by some very extra sort of people. Her entire attitude is basically “You all are like, up here, and normal people are way down here, I’m gonna need you to calm the fuck down before we interact.”

      This does has downsides, in that Lucy is a cheerful, sweet person, but again “way up here”, so she probably instantly got on Malaya’s last nerve, because she’s just Too Much. Malaya likes quiet, independence, and gets really pissed off when she thinks she’s seeing pretentiousness.

      Now, she has read Sal wrong, but Sal has read her wrong as well. Sal has genuine trauma, but knows she gives an impression. She expected Malaya to actually be someone who would submit because Malaya comes off as fake-tough. Malaya thinks Sal is trying too hard to be cool and mysterious.

      In reality, Sal is secretive because she’s insecure, and doesn’t know what to do when she can’t impress people into leaving her alone, and Malaya isn’t fake-tough, she just genuinely doesn’t give a fuck.

      Them living together might give them both some better insight into one another.

      1. Stella

        I wonder if liking Lucy plays much into disliking Malaya?

        Especially since, in some ways, Lucy is like Joyce, and if people didn’t like Joyce at least a little, they wouldn’t be here. Lucy is cheerful! Friendly! Thoughtful!

        And Malaya is mean to her basically for no reason.

        As a character, I like Malaya. But, irl, if she lived in my dorm when I was in college, I’d avoid her. I have a lot of Lucy-esque friends, and frankly I’m a bit sensitive when other people dislike me too. That’s why I’m trying so hard to be friendly goshdarnit!

        Anyway, nothing wrong with liking Malaya. It just kinda sucks for some types of people to be around her.

  53. davidbreslin101

    Friendship. It’s a zero-sum game!

    1. Jhon

      For some people, maybe…

  54. Spencer

    Man, between the shooting, the handling of Puerto Rico and the sheer gall thrown at the mayor of San Juan, and more Republican hypocrisy about abortion all in the same few days, I feel sorry for those south of the border.

    I don’t know how Americans holds up. I’d be going crazy if I lived there.

    1. Jhon

      Let me tell you a secret…

    2. Delicious Taffy

      Are you kidding? America is, uh… It’s great. Yeah. Greatest country on Earth, don’cha know. Just really fantastic, all ’round. Something for everyone, hereabouts, so anyone can prosper with a little persistence.

      Incidentally, I hear Ireland’s got some nice scenery. Anyone know what it might take for a fella to, I dunno, move there? Just speaking hypothetically, of course. After all, America’s being made…great…again, now that our… Nope, can’t keep up the façade.

      This Yank’s on the first boat out of here, soon as I can afford it.

      1. Reltzik

        Yeah, America’s Greatening isn’t something easy to stomach.

        …… buuuuut Ireland’s got blasphemy laws. Maybe set sail for a free nation instead?

        1. BBCC

          I’d offer Canada, but we have plenty of our own bullshit to deal with (*pointed glare at racism nobody will acknowledge*).

        2. Delicious Taffy

          Blasphemy laws? What, so I can’t walk around shouting “Jesus was a loser!”? Fair trade.

  55. Vi

    I really hope Sal and Marcie do fix things, especially because I do trust that Marcie misses her… Also, I highly doubt they’re better friend than Sal and Marcie, who had been BEST FRIENDS FOR YEARS. Malaya don’t be a bongo.

  56. Liliet

    oh my god Malaya you dork you

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