174

Choosing
Posted on May 15, 2018 by David M Willis

174 thoughts on “Choosing”

  1. Ana Chronistic

    shun the troof on Garbage Roof

    1. Pablo360

      It’s not denial if you admit you’re doing it

      1. Knuf Wons

        But it’s still pretty trashy.

        1. Annonymouse

          Reduce Reuse Recycle – We aren’t going to be able to reduce this amount of trash. Reuse? Sure, have been doing this for a while but it is getting kinda tired and really worn out. So how do we recycle this?

  2. AnvilPro

    They’re too perfect for each other

    1. Bagge

      Hey! We don’t want to hear that kind of language on Garbage Roof.

    2. Doctor_Who

      Can we call the ship the “Garbage Barge”?

      1. Bagge

        …Yes. Yes we can.

      2. Reltzik

        I’m already calling it the S.S. Garbage Scowl, but you do you.

        1. King Daniel

          Why not…the GarBarge?

        2. Woobie

          That garbage theme song is running in my head now, dammit.

        3. HeySo

          The Gar- wait for it, it’s going to be Amazi– Barge.

      3. LookingIn

        I don’t know about you, but that idea sure does stink!

        Actually, it’s a good nickname.

      4. Liquid Len

        This garbage barge?
        https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=t_AzU_k9ysI
        đŸ™‚

        1. Ryek Hvek

          https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=M9WulVrsS0A

  3. Saaaam

    All the more reason to continue to shatter his jaw! Violence solves problems!

    1. Doctor_Who

      Didn’t Vaarsuvius of Order of the Stick say something along the lines of “As the radius of the fireball increases, the number of problems it can solve approaches zero”?

      1. Doctor_Who

        *CAN’T solve, dangit.

        1. Deanatay

          Yeah, they’ve changed their attitude on violence lately, though.

        2. Liliet

          I like to think V would make an exception for personally Blaine

      2. Delicious Taffy

        V is just smart that way.

    2. Shen Hibiki

      Violence. If it’s not solving your problem, is ’cause you’re not using enough if it.

      1. darkgloomie

        What if your problem is angrily reacting to problems with violence?

        1. Nebby

          Well then, with enough violence you could conceivably remove all future problems from your life.

        2. Knuf Wons

          Especially with nuclear kamikaze strikes!
          …wait…

        3. SgtWadeyWilson

          Having second thoughts? That doesn’t sound like a Dalek…

        4. Deanatay

          darkgloomie: the number of problems an expanding fireball radius can solve APPROACHES zero, but never quite reaches it. Asymptotes are funny that way. Violence itself will always survive unsolved.

        5. Skeptible

          As that other joke goes; it’s close enough for practical purposes.

        6. thejeff

          Horseshoes, hand grenades and H-bombs?

  4. Pablo360

    Taking a break from all your worries sure would help a lot.

    1. Dean

      Wouldn’t you like to get away?

      1. cbwroses

        Some times you wanna go…

        1. foamy

          Where err’ybawdy knows your name.

        2. Fezzam

          This is the 4th time TODAY a comment chain has broken into cheers theme…
          Was there a marathon/anniversary I wasn’t aware of or something?

        3. Needfuldoer

          Check today’s strip’s alt-text.

          Though it’s never a bad time for Cheers or Frasier. Wings had its good episodes, too.

        4. Derek

          Yeah, like the Phantom of the Oprah one! Classic!

        5. PB

          And they’re always glad you came

        6. Charlie Spencer

          You wanna be where you can see people are the same

        7. Deanatay

          You wanna be where
          EVERYBODY KNOWS YOUR NAME!

  5. Bagge

    KEG STAND PARTY!

  6. Dafydd

    ♪Takin’ a break from all your worries sure would help a lot…♫

    I mean, um… *clears throat*

    You can’t save everyone, Amber. Let yourself save yourself first; you’ll be in a better position to help Faz then.

    1. Pablo360

      All those nights when you’ve got no lights,
      The check is in the mail;
      And your little angel
      Hung the cat up by it’s tail;
      And your third fiance didn’t show;

      1. Knuf Wons

        3 fiancé’s. That’s either a poor way to count relationships or you’re on The Bachelor.

    2. Friscovi

      It says right there on the airplane emergency card “Before you assist others, always put your oxygen mask on first”

      1. geno

        ^ That same line was in the new Worm 2 page today.

  7. Stephen Bierce

    *plays The Rolling Stones’ “Emotional Rescue” on the hacked P.A. speakers*

    1. Brotato

      Listen, can I just say, I really appreciate your consistent & dedicated comments? Because I do. They confused me at first, but you were one of the few really regular commenters, and it just… I’m glad you continue to be here, basically.

      1. Stephen Bierce

        Glad to be of service.

  8. Mordecai

    Aww, amber’s halfhearted reply…

    I wonder how this will end up

    1. Pablo360

      Walky will throw a toy at Blaine’s head, knocking him into a ravine, where he will be washed out to Lake Michigan

      1. Yumi

        Can it be a smaller lake? I’d hate to have to drain all of Lake Michigan before I can swim in it again.

        1. Delicious Taffy

          How about Carlyle Lake, in Illinois? Story goes, it was made over a cemetery, without moving any graves beforehand.

        2. King Daniel

          At least if Wikipedia’s to be trusted, the graves were exhumed and moved beforehand.

        3. Delicious Taffy

          Knowing Carlyle*, I suspect they moved some graves (probably from the big-name families), and the rest were left to get flooded. It would explain the stories, if you’re the superstitious type.

          *Got family there, and it’s ~20 minutes away by car.

        4. Emperor Norton II

          Just remember, every single drop of water we drink or use or eat (through the food it’s in) was once dinosaur pee.

          Every. Single. Drop.

        5. StClair

          We are all made of stars.

        6. Knuf Wons

          God I LOVE Carl Sagan. Best science show of all time.

        7. Pablo360

          By which you mean celebrities from the past.

      2. thejeff

        Wait. I don’t understand.

        Why is Walky courting Blaine?

  9. Passchendaele

    The anthem of Garbage Roof: “Woooooo Garbage Roof!”

    1. Marsh Maryrose

      It’s Garbage Roof, Garbage Roof
      Gotta go chill on Garbage Roof
      Everybody’s missing out on this sweet place, sweet place
      Garbage Roof, Garbage Roof
      Gettin’ high on Garbage Roof
      Everybody’s looking to escape some dumb shit

  10. Kernanator

    Garbage Roof seems to be losing its appeal.

  11. Jess

    The alt text hits hard tonight. So it goes.

  12. DailyBrad

    This is some real stuff Amber’s saying, and I’m proud of her for that. Like, I don’t agree that she is being selfish, but I think she’s apt in recognizing that it’s academic if Faz is blood to her or not.

    (It does seem he wouldn’t be, going by Willis’ saying that was Shortpacked-specific and that she is an only child, but that is an ask that goes back a bit, so I dunno if he was just not wanting to spoil things. Though if it was, he wouldn’t have answered it, probably.)

    1. Yumi

      It seems that Willis had forgotten he had ever posted that answer and has de-Word of God-ed it. He apparently said on Patreon that he changed his mind, so I now think it’s supposed to be uncertain whether they are blood related or not, or if Amber has other bio siblings.

      1. DailyBrad

        ah, duly noted, then.

      2. UniqueSnowflake2

        In any case, Amber wouldn’t know about Willis’s decisions. As far as the characters are concerned, there is no canon except what they actually observe.

        1. Jhon

          So anyone from a meta reality trying to judge -us- can take a long hike off a short pier.

        2. thejeff

          OTOH, Amber likely knows more than we do about the situation and so would be in a better position to judge – were it not for the meta reasons we have to suspect.

    2. Viktoria

      Yeah, airplane crash rules apply here. Help yourself, then help the child. Amber is hanging onto sanity by the fingertips of her blue gloves, she can’t be responsible for keeping Faz safe, too.

  13. space

    I believe Danny dating Amber would HORRIBLE in retrospect. Similar to Billie and Ruth’s…minus the suicide pact.

    1. space

      *Walky

      1. Ainara

        Why would Danny date Walky?

        :p

        1. SgtWadeyWilson

          Better question: Why would Walky date Danny?

        2. Delicious Taffy

          Danny’s decent looks, inoffensive presence, respectable penis, ukulele skills, stylish clothes, and cornbread charm, maybe?

        3. DailyBrad

          Yeah, like, I think fans have this perception sometimes of Danny as this loser, when that’s really not how he’s really been presented. He’s sometimes awkward, but not this social pariah people got it into their heads he was through exaggeration.

        4. Delicious Taffy

          You’re on the mark, there. I also notice a glaring deficit of respect for his entirely-adequate penis. How very astute of you to notice.

        5. SgtWadeyWilson

          Ehh… I don’t mind Danny as a person. He’s a little boring, sure, but not entirely unfun.

          I just don’t see him as Walky’s type.

          Also, I don’t really see why we’re judging people by their genitals, especially in reference to a person I’m fairly certain doesn’t have a working knowledge of the other’s. It just seems a little far-fetched to assume Walky’s going to see Danny’s dick and go: “Oh, hey, with that knowledge, he officially has enough qualities that make him datable!”

        6. timemonkey

          Personally I’d date the crap out of Danny. Danny is good boyfriend material. Wouldn’t touch Walky with a stick.

        7. Ainara

          I don’t want to see the words “Danny” and “respectable penis” in the same sentence ever again

        8. Schpoonman

          Don’t you talk shit about Danny’s penis. It is entirely respectable.

        9. Fart Captor

          The tiny ukulele is a bit much, though

    2. thejeff

      Why so bad? I guess if their entire relationship was garbage roof based, but I doubt it would be.

  14. Reltzik

    You’re randomly wooting and cheering for stupid things on the grounds of location-based team affiliation, AND you’re eating pizza, AND you’re in college.

    How the hell is beer not a part of this?

    1. cbwroses

      Because Jason kicked Walky out of the bar.
      Which reminds me, I wonder if he’s still there mixing drinks.

    2. timemonkey

      Because beer is gross and sucks?

      1. cbwroses

        That too.

      2. JessWitt

        I’ll drink to that! (Margarita, please.)

    3. DailyBrad

      Amber’s not a drinker. Recall Joyce’s party, where she got angry at Danny for drinking on the grounds it was illegal.

  15. space

    All for the ship name to be “Wamby” say AYE!

    1. Delicious Taffy

      He’s gonna put his Wamby in her O’Malkerton.

    2. cbwroses

      I like Reltzik’s suggestion of SS Garbage Skowl

      1. Reltzik

        That typo’s a “thing” now, isn’t it.

        ….

        *sigh* Okay, Skowl it is.

  16. miados

    I need a garbage roof

  17. newllend(henryvolt)

    Sounds like a completely similar yet opposite situation to Ruth’s problem with her Brother.

  18. nlips

    This is surprisingly healthy for both of them. Those bad, selfish, depressing feelings and thoughts need to be said out loud. You can’t change problems you won’t admit to being a part of.

    1. newllend(henryvolt)

      It’s also kind of cool that Walky has pretty much found a good friend to just chill and relate with. I mean he has other friends but I’ve yet to see him get this comfortable around anyone else besides his own girlfriend and recently acquired mentor.

      I mean there’s Bellie who I thought her and Walky have always had a good friendship going no matter in what setting ( to her own dismay) but it seems the two of them haven’t had a lot of time to bond since they started college since Billie’s been dealing with Ruth the hole time. Then there’s Joyce and despite them being cool she still can barely stand him and Joe seems to prefer a certain kind of company. So right now this is the best friendship either one of these two have going right now.

      1. cbwroses

        True.
        As an aside, your comment reminds me that they both have “siblings” they could hopefully be as comfortable with as they seem to be with each other, but the inability to get comfortable with said siblings is just one of the varied reasons they feel they need garbage roof.

        1. Kim

          Oooo! Good point!

        2. Jhon

          Garbage roof. It’s liberating. Nobody judges you. Because everybody there is garbage.

  19. Johan

    Off topic but does Carla do flat track or banked derby?

    1. BBCC

      Neither. Carla’s not in roller derby. Not sure about Malaya or Marcie though.

      1. Friscovi

        But I agree with Sal, Carla should totally do roller derby.

      2. Johan

        Which one do they do?

  20. Cass

    Lol, Amber angsting makes me feel the tiniest bit guilty about the fact that I usually forget my own half-brother even exists, but I doubt he considers me family any more than I do him regardless of blood.

    1. Yumi

      I feel that. Basically the only time I talk to my half-brother is when I happen to be in the room when he calls our dad and our dad puts him on speakerphone.

  21. BBCC

    Oh, Walky. Oh, Amber. Oh, garbage roof.

  22. HMH

    garbage roof is grand

  23. Wright

    Considering that Walky never even wrote to his sister in the years that their parents stuck her in boarding school, he’s not too far away. It’s convenient to leave others in their misery if they’re far away and it’s hard for you to do anything.e

    1. cbwroses

      It’s been a long time, but was that something that was established?
      And was it that he didn’t write her or that they didn’t write each other? Because mutual dickishness towards each other is slightly better than one sided dickishness.

      1. Wright

        It’s like literally the first exchange that the two have, though I suppose Walky does say that they haven’t talked *much* in five years. But it’s kind of clear from the first time that Walky goes up on Garbage Roof by himself to eat cookies that he never thought about Sal’s pain much. When he talks in panel four, he speaks from experience.

        He was raised the Golden Child, and has his own problems to deal with. As a fellow golden child, I can relate. One of those problems is a rose-colored view of the past and a difficult time internalizing the suffering of others when you were treated well. Another is a tendency to freeze up when confronted with failure, which is probably where math problems come from.

        1. BBCC

          Walky also said on those DoA twitters Willis made that he hasn’t seen her since then, so any correspondence was likely short and limited – possibly as simple as ‘Hey sis, hope you’re doing okay’ every so often.

        2. thejeff

          Which is so weird to me. Boarding school sure, but year round boarding school? No summers? No holidays?

          If their parents blotted her out that much, was writing to her even allowed?

    2. cbwroses

      “Haven’t talked much” and “never even wrote to his sister” are two very different things.
      Especially when the latter implies she wrote to him and was ignored.
      Hence why I asked about it.
      I was not questioning him being the favorite. But that’s a dynamic involving the parents. Them not writing each other is a dynamic involving just them.

    3. DailyBrad

      In Walky’s defense, he made a point of saying that he was going to try to be a better brother, both to Sal and to Billie. (Though, I wonder some about the nature of their relationship. I know Walky considers her a sis, but she also drunkenly hit on Sal, so I don’t know if she either doesn’t consider the dynamic that, or if it is exclusively with Walky and Sal is not a sister to her.)

  24. Keulen

    I have a feeling the alt text is a song reference, but I don’t have a clue what it is.

    1. newllend(henryvolt)

      It’s the theme song to “cheers” the old sitcom.

    2. Marsh Maryrose

      I had to google it myself. Seeing as that particular sitcom ended in 1993, you might be too young to have heard the whole theme. Or like me, you might be older but have been TV-challenged during those years.

      1. Miri

        Repeats showed a good decade longer or so over here…

      2. Keulen

        Ah, that explains why I wasn’t familiar with it. I was four years old in 1993.

  25. Keulen

    Walky and Amber get along so well, and yet for once I just can’t ship them. They seem to be much better as garbage roof buddies than anything else.

    1. cbwroses

      He threw a toy at her head. You must ship them. That’s the rule.

      1. Pat

        No he didn’t.

        1. King Daniel

          Yes he did. He literally threw a toy at Amber’s head. It was the last scene they were in together before this one now, even:

          http://www.dumbingofage.com/2017/comic/book-8/02-this-is-the-way-that-we-love/simpler/

        2. Pat

          Well huh. I do not remember that.

    2. DailyBrad

      I could maybe see Walky and Amber as a thing, but I don’t know. It hasn’t clicked for me, exactly.

      Has it been established, by the way, if Amber is aware of Walky and Sal being siblings? I would imagine maybe, given she no longer has this hate boner for her, and she’s also had time to do her homework on Sal, anyway.

  26. vlademir1

    @AltText and various comments above: here

    I have an MP3 of the original version on my phone I play semi-regularly at work for… reasons.

  27. Side One

    It’s a truly sad day in a young person’s life when they realize that they are completely human and that whole “People are basically good” philosophy goes against reality.
    GARBAGE ROOF!!

    1. BBCC

      Eh, I’m 22 and I still think most people are mostly good. I’m not sure if that’s optimism or naivety, but it is possible to keep it.

      1. DailyBrad

        I don’t think it’s something that is inherently naive. Obviously, some of this is relative, but if humans generally sucked, then there’d be nothing worth giving a shit about when bad things befell them. It’d just mean less trash out there.

        1. SgtWadeyWilson

          Having been there and back again, I kinda miss hating everybody. It was an oddly easier and less stressful existence believing that anybody that appeared good was working against their inherent nature.

          Now I tend to think that the: “nobody starts out good or evil, just innocent and neutral, then life happens” version sounds the most right.

      2. Sam

        Literally same. Some people are literal dumpster fires, but most people are good people just trying to get through life.

  28. vlademir1

    Now appropos to nothing in the comic and only because I know many here will have watched “Can’t Go Back” and “A Single Pale Rose” by now…
    Holy damn…
    Just damn…
    I called both those reveals quite a while ago (like when the topic was first broached eons back), but holy hell…
    Also, that damned magnificent song…
    I don’t want to invite public spoilers here, for obvious reasons, but I had to get that out of my system somewhere other people who would understand frequent.

    1. BBCC

      I completely understand and also that song was amazing.

    2. Delicious Taffy

      I’m just glad they finally dropped the bombshell, because now we know that 1) Pink Diamond is a total babe and 2) the creators aren’t afraid to show some teeth.

    3. Sam

      I understand too. It was amazing.

      1. NickG

        Spoilers! We’re only halfway through season 4 of SU in the UK, and I’ve been trying hard to avoid too much info on this.

        1. Delicious Taffy

          Garnet is a fusion of a Ruby and a Sapphire. Also, Steven fuses with Connie at one point.

        2. Inahc

          Dude, not cool, there are other people reading that probably aren’t that far yet. Granted it’s hard to find out the show exists without those spoilers, but that’s no reason to make it even harder.

        3. Delicious Taffy

          Sorry. I don’t understand why people are so intent on making every single minute detail of the show a state secret, though. I’ve gotten shit for saying Steven’s weapon is a shield, before. This is all Season 1 stuff.

        4. King Daniel

          The first thing, at least, was only revealed in the Season 1 finale, though – things that happen in a finale are generally considered spoilery a lot longer than something that takes place earlier in a season.

          No idea what that one person on your case for talking about Steven’s shield was on about, though; I mean, the shield is unveiled in the first episode of the entire series, so unless someone is watching out-of-order…

    4. Inahc

      đŸ™‚ for me it was a weird mix of “holy shit I called that” and “no way, I was sure that theory was nonsense”. But mostly I was preoccupied with the non-plot bombshells.
      I’m hoping it’s up on Mark Watches soon so I can talk about all the spoilery spoilers there đŸ™‚

  29. Rabid Rabbit

    Interesting art. In the first three panels, I feel like Amber’s drawn much older than usual, in the sense that you can see how she’ll look in middle age. She is really is growing up! Well, while remaining short.

    1. King Daniel

      I mean, we already kind of got to see an older Amber in Shortpacked! (from early-twenties to late-twenties-early thirties over the comic’s run, if I recall correctly), but yeah, I can definitely see what you mean. Especially since Shortpacked! Amber had longer hair.

  30. Chris Phoenix

    Yeah, Amber, and here’s the real sucker punch:

    There are parts of the world where the infant mortality rate is 10%. And you, and I, and 99.9% of the people reading this comic, are doing basically nothing about it.

    1. Delicious Taffy

      I can barely keep myself functional, most days, between crippling depression, debilitating autism, ADD, and other various issues. Infant mortality rates, let alone those of far-off countries, aren’t exactly a priority.

      1. Jago

        I think that was the point Chris was trying to make. Most people have their own problems which are and should be their priority.
        Especially people with psychological issues like Amber. She needs to think about herself more and needs to learn that it’s okay.

    2. Eldritch Gentleman

      Well the problem is that Faz isn’t some far away kid from a country you’ve never heard of. He is her step maybe half-brother and he is living through the same hell she had to live through. Amazi-Girl was probably partially an attempt at making herself feel less powerless, becoming someone who can Do something. But here she she knows what might be happening to Faz and feels powerless to stop it even though she Knows that Hell from personal experience.

  31. DrWattson

    RE: The alt-text:

    “Sometimes you want to go where everybody knows you’re trash.”

    1. PB

      Thank you for this. XD

  32. BenRG

    There is an increasing likelihood of Walky and Amber doing something stupid.

    1. Bagge

      Isn’t one of the big ideas with garbage roof NOT to do things?

      1. BenRG

        No, only not to do smart things. Stupid things are okay; indeed, they’re practically a membership due!

        1. Clif

          Stupid things are okay. You mean like garbage roof affair?

  33. Tacos

    WOOO! GARBAGE ROOF!

    1. Dana

      GARBAGE ROOOOF!

  34. Jago

    Yeah but his Mom’s responsible for him, not you, Amber.

    1. BenRG

      It isn’t possible to convince Amber that every bad thing that happens to people in her sphere of contacts isn’t her fault.

  35. Vulcanodon

    Not clear what, exactly, she could do about it. Blaine probably could bluff his way through a child protective agency interview, then take it out on Faz. But something bad is surely happening.

    1. BenRG

      Maybe the time has come for Amazi-Girl to make sure that, this time, Mr O’Malley doesn’t come back. Amber is in dark enough a place right now where the right (or wrong) stimulus could convince her that she’s a monster enough that she’d accept life in a secure facility in exchange for doing one last good thing before everyone sees her for the monster she truly believes herself to be. Destroying the myth of Amazi-Girl would be a bonus in her eyes right now.

      1. thejeff

        Or Amazi-Girl could really take on the role of a street level super hero and dig up evidence of Blaine’s mob crimes and leave him tied up on the steps of the police station with the evidence pinned to him. đŸ™‚

        1. Eldritch Gentleman

          To be fair though, would that evidence fly in court? I mean, wouldn’t it fall under unlawfully acquired evidence?

        2. thejeff

          IANAL, but my understanding is that if I obtain evidence illegally and turn it over to the police, they can use it. They can’t get it illegally themselves (and couldn’t hire me to do so.) Of course, there could be all sorts of questions about the authenticity of the evidence and I could certainly be busted for anything illegal I did to get it.

          Probably better, if less genre appropriate, to stalk him until the appropriate moment when he’s committing a crime or surrounded by evidence and call the cops on him them. Less questions when the cops find him hanging out with the boys in the meth lab or whatever it is he does for the mob.

  36. SlothfulCobra

    Amber, you got like a speck, you might wanna, y’know

  37. Zee

    Sometimes you gotta go where people kinda know your name!

  38. Ziggy

    Amber and Walky! Ship it! Ship it! What happens on the Garbage roof, stays on the garbage roof.

    1. C.T Phipps

      I ship it!

  39. Shawn Levasseur

    Garbage Roof: Where everybody knows you’re lame!

  40. MutantSentry

    …damn wish I had any talent for lyrics, I feel like we need a Dumbing of Age filk to the Cheers theme about Garbage Roof….

    1. PB

      Your wish is my command! Just gimme a minute.

    2. PB

      ♫ Making the grade and having mental pain takes everything you’ve got
      Shirking the pressures of friends and loved ones sure would help a lot… ♫

      ♫ Wouldn’t your feelings like a break? ♫

      ♫ Sometimes you wanna go where everybody knows you’re lame!
      And they don’t judge that you came!
      You wanna be where people see
      That everyone shares the pain
      You wanna be where everybody knows you’re lame!
      You wanna go where people know
      That all our sh*t smells the same!
      You wanna go where everybody knows you’re lame… ♫

      1. PB

        (Thanks to Shawn Levasseur for unintentional inspiration)

      2. Marsh Maryrose

        Bravo!

  41. nothri

    I feel like Amazigirl should maybe hold out for better than the Garbage Roof when claiming her version of the Fortress of Solitude/batcave/avengers manor.

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