114

Sorted
Posted on May 21, 2013 by David M Willis
If the Kickstarter reaches $42k by Saturday night, you get Sunday updates!  I mean, yeah, you'll get Sunday updates if we reach $42k afterwards, but they'll start later. there are some pretty awful cliffhangers coming soon that you probably don't wanna have to wait through a sunday for

114 thoughts on “Sorted”

  1. Plasma Mongoose

    Girl Boner ACTIVATED!

    1. Yotomoe

      In addition I summon my wet panties in defense mode!

      1. Plasma Mongoose

        She throws them at a wall; SPLOOGE!

        1. Rodrigo

          😀 LOOOL 😀
          You sir/madam are awesome!

    2. Animal

      Yup. Wet as October.

  2. The Sound Defense

    He also did 1000 bench presses.

    1. Yotomoe

      And had a bowl of Testoster-Os.

    2. AgentKeen

      His roommate’s exercise routine was very…. ‘encouraging’.

      1. Zach

        Can I ….borrow said roommate?

      2. Plasma Mongoose

        All those ‘push-ups’ and ‘pelvic thrusts’ really paid off. 😀

        1. Neospector

          If you don’t stretch you’ll get a cramp though.

    3. Cholma

      He’ll do press-ups and chin-ups
      Do the snatch, clean, and jerk
      He thinks dynamic tension
      Must be hard work
      Such strenuous living
      I just don’t understand
      When in just seven days
      Oh, baby
      I can make you a man

      1. Plasma Mongoose

        Rocky Horror?

        1. Pjotroos

          Course it is! Charles Atlas Song.

        2. james

          Whatever happened to Saturday night
          When you dressed up sharp and you felt alright?
          It don’t seem the same since cosmic light
          Came into my life, I thought I was divine…

          I used to go for a ride with a chick who’d go
          And listen to the music on the radio
          A saxophone was blowin’ on a rock & roll show.
          You climbed in the back seat, you really had a good time.

        3. DrunkenGator

          Off the table, you ham.

      2. Bill

        I can bring home the bacon, Fry it up in a pan,
        And never, never, never let you forget you’re a man,
        ‘Cause I’m a woman….. W – O – M – A – N

  3. ASmellyOgre

    Too bad Ethan doesn’t reciprocate.

  4. Raen

    Welp, that’s subplot’s over. Now Joyce can get over herself enough to realize what Billie actually said and freak out all over again.

  5. Sir Robin

    Damn you Willis, I don’t care if it’s your own creation, you have defaced a national treasure!!!

  6. Aras Pabedinskas

    I recognize him and yet at the same time, I say to myself “Who is this?”. Also, Billie’s impressed, that must be a good thing.

    1. Plasma Mongoose

      Impressed enough for her eyes to grow.

    2. Big Ninja Jim

      Not only impressed but her pupils are doing a sort of Pac man thing.

      1. AgentKeen

        Smitten Billie is adorable.

      2. Chronos

        I’m pretty sure those are meant to be hearts.

      3. Animal

        Dilated pupils; classic sign of sexual arousal.

  7. Plasma Mongoose

    NO ALT text message today Willis? I’m surprised.

    1. Sir Robin

      It’s there now

      1. Plasma Mongoose

        Damn he is quick.

        1. Ragnal

          He did that to me too the week before Ethan’s last comic when Drew’s doorway was sticking through his hair.

          Speaking of which, AH! What in the hell?!

  8. Greg

    Oh snap. Ethan is Aladdin.

    1. Greg

      Or Dick Grayson?

      1. Rikushadow5

        Why not both?

  9. Sir Robin

    Oh shit … is Mike smiling?!?

    1. Plasma Mongoose

      More of a neutral expression, which is still an improvement.

      1. Sir Robin

        I don’t know, that looks like a small grin to me

        1. berober

          IIRC, the last time Mike smiled in any continuity, he got married to Amber…

          Am I right in saying this and therefore he’s set to hatefuck Joyce in the near future?

        2. TacosForever

          I mean, why wouldn’t he be enjoying Joyce’s crisis of sexuality?

      2. Yotomoe

        Nuetral is smiling for Mike.

  10. Doctor_Who

    The good news is Joyce clearly isn’t a lesbian.

    The bad news is, Ethan might be.

    1. Doctor_Who

      Kidding, by the way. I actually kinda like it.

      1. saltchocolate

        I dunno. The hand on the back of the neck? For two panels in a row? Regardless, it/he is kinda sexy!

        1. Plasma Mongoose

          The answer’s simple, Mike put crazy glue on the back of his neck.

        2. saltchocolate

          Thus, the “smile” on his face.

  11. Kurai Seraphim

    Walky and Mike saw this first, hence the reactions in panel 1.

  12. Yotomoe

    Billies face in the last panel is great out of context.

  13. Kernanator

    Whoa there, Ethan. Don’t go all crazy with yourself.

    (Also, for some reason, it’s just hit me that Ethan is TALL.)

    1. Yotomoe

      Or erryone else is just short as sh.it.

    2. Baroncognito

      He’s wearing heels.

  14. kishimobot

    Man, I wish it was that easy :/

  15. SUGauthor

    But I liked the black watermelon eating his head…

  16. Ragnal

    Normally I’d complain about Ethan’s hair and wish it went back to normal, but…I don’t think I’d be any better than the G1 fans, would I?

  17. Zach

    I expect a hair cut the next, far off time we see him in Shortpacked!!

    1. David

      I wouldn’t!

      1. Raen

        The haircut or “the next far off time we see him”?

  18. RaijinK

    The new hairstyle looks naggingly familiar. It’s got that little spike hanging off the back like 2005 Ethan, but I feel like the rest of it was seen on another Walkyverse character, possibly with brown hair, that I can’t completely remember right now.

    1. Jen Aside

      It’s starting to remind me of Smallville, somehow =p

  19. bunivasal

    Lust. It’s lust. Glad we got that cleared up.

    1. thecanvashat

      Hey, that could be a purely Platonic blush!

  20. Plasma Mongoose

    To be honest, if the comic didn’t point it out, I wouldn’t have even noticed Ethan’s new ‘do.

  21. TacosForever

    Daaaaaaang. *wolf whistle*
    (Possibly this is exactly what Billie is doing in the comic?)

    1. Zababcd

      There aren’t enough notes there for a wolf-whistle.

  22. PainfulBuggery

    I see a future with those two. A future where he gets his freak on…and she watches.

  23. Nono

    I can’t help it, I think Ethan’s new haircut is hilarious.

    And I’m also getting the popcorn ready for Amber’s reaction.

  24. Maycroft

    after seeing that haircut I’d like to know the answer to that question.

    1. james

      lust

      Pure evil, sinful lust.

  25. TheKelliestKelly

    This reminds me of how I figured out I was bisexual. I saw a friend of mine in a bikini and I was like, “Okay, yeah, I’m definitely into girls, too.”

  26. Uniqueantique

    The longer I look at that haircut, the less I like it. Makes his head look lopsided. Front is nice, but the back is just too…something.
    And that is my comment on my favorite gay fictional character, which makes me wonder about me sometimes.

    1. Zababcd

      I’d like to see it from the other side.

      1. Zababcd

        … And to be clear, I was responding to the comment about the haircut, not the comment about sexual orientation.

  27. piemanpie24

    Billie’s face in the last panel is wonderful. That’s all I have to say about that.

  28. Chronos

    I don’t think she’s sure yet, Ethan. You’d better take off your shirt to remove all doubt.

  29. CRtwenty

    Boy Ethan you’re so fine you’re so fine you blow my mind hey Ethan! ~clap~ ~clap~ Hey Ethan!

  30. Felix Featherstone

    oh god. Mike looks like he wants to answer her question. Though I’m sure it’d be educational for her, Joyce would be scared for life!

  31. Mv

    After reading through Shortpacked! for the past week it’s weird seeing Ethan with a new hair style.

  32. Chase the Ace

    Finally! Ethan has a new hair style! I liked the old one, but it was just so…round….

  33. Bitstream

    I really am enjoying Joyce’s budding self awareness.

  34. Alexis

    I’m glad all that narrative build up for his hair cut has finally paid off.

    1. Aydr

      Seriously, most foreshadowed haircut ever.

  35. Melvin Schlock

    Dune Era Kyle MacLachlan ?

  36. Steve

    Ethan is missing the top of his head, isn’t he?

  37. Robin

    Okay, I haven’t pledged all my monies on the Kickstarter. I was going to, but then it turned I couldn’t: I don’t have a credit card and Amazon doesn’t want to accept my filthy European money. “Keep it,” Amazon said. “We don’t want your filthy European money. Come back when you have a real American credit card.” So I said: “Okay, jeesh. That’s not going to happen.” If I were able to pledge from my bank, I would have.

    … unless it’s one of those things were you can fill in your bank number and pretend it’s a credit card because, yeah that works fine, it’s a a whole international system don’t sweat it, in which case I’ll run to Kickstarter and try again. Is it?

    1. David

      I really have no idea!

      1. Robin

        It turns out I can’t. I’ll look into getting myself a credit card then.

        1. fudo81

          You definitely need a credit card; it doesn’t need to be American, though.

    2. Groove

      Could you get a credit card? Assuming you have a credit score above 0 then it takes like 10 minutes in a bank, and afterwards you can just keep it in a drawer.

      I’m always surprised when people say they don’t use a credit card for online shopping, it’s so much more secure.

      1. Layn

        I’ve tried once, but they wouldn’t give me a credit card because i don’t have a steady income. I usually just use Paypal or my debit card. Everyone uses debit cards around here

        1. xKiv

          When I set up Amazon for Kickstarter, Amazon gave me the option to use Paypal … (so Kickstarter asks Amazon for $$, Amazon asks Paypal for $$, Paypal asks VISA (not sure if this step happens) for $$ and then VISA asks my bank for $$.

      2. Robin

        I dunno. I’m Dutch. No-one uses credit cards here.

        1. Jen Aside

          Aww, I was gonna recommend buying one of those disposable CCs, but if no one uses them where you are, that might be hard to come by =/

    3. Layn

      That’s what i hate about Kickstarter. I WANT to give money, i WANT to contribute nad be a part of it. But Kickstarter just doesn’t give me a way to do it

    4. Patrick

      My HSBC Visa Debit card works fine for Kickstarter, personally.

      1. xKiv

        AFAIK, USA-based kickstarters can only be paid through Amazon, and UK-based kickstarters ask directly for card number.
        Debit card still work just as good as credit card, if you have it properly set up (not sure if that was “internet transactions” or what for me, and I had to set limits)

  38. Notebooked

    Dayung. I don’t know if it’s the hair cut or the shirt, but it makes him look more…muscular? (Or maybe that’s just the way he towers over everyone else oh my god Ethan how tall are you)

    1. CRtwenty

      All the emotional baggage he carries around has started to bulk him up. Also Ethan is pretty tall, but both Joyce and Billie are fairly short, so he looks like a giant in comparison.

      1. Notebooked

        Heh, yeah. And hm…the only one I can think of challenging him for tallness would be Jacob, and maybe Jason? Judging by Walky and Mike’s size compared to Joyce and Billie in the first panel (and accounting for the fact that they’re a bit further back), he still seems like he’d be half a head taller than Mike.

        1. John

          Joe’s about the same height, and maybe a little broader. And Galasso’s bigger than either of them.

          I think Willis’s style exaggerates height differences, because otherwise, given he recently stated Sal’s height (over in the Roomies! reruns) to be 5’7″, Galasso’s gotta be like eight feet tall.

    2. saltchocolate

      It also makes him look younger, though, which is a good thing. He was greying already on Shortpacked!, and I had a hard time seeing him as a college-aged dude over here.

  39. Wack'd

    Ethan’s head is kinda pointy.

  40. Björn

    Not the best haircut. But he really needed to lose the old one.

  41. TJ Baltimore

    I feel like Mike’s half-smile means that that is also whatever-you-don’t-want-him-to-be-sexual in this continuity, which to Ethan means “tempting to Ethan”. Are there perverse sexual lusts between Ethan and Mike in the future?

    Also, I would expect Ethan’s haircut to be more, I don’t know . . . fabulous? Something Caesar-cut-like with a flip in the front? With Ethan’s seemingly thick hair, it would be so hot! (How the heck is Ethan not attracting gay college guys?!)

  42. Mark Jones

    I’m amused by how long you’re dragging out the *reveal* of the cliffhangers. I have been expecting one for weeks and still… no cliffs.

  43. Miles Dryden

    I don’t get it; are we supposed to think that’s a good haircut? Because it looks awful. On Ethan, anyway.

    1. Jason

      I don’t like it either. At least in the 2nd panel, there’s something weird going on in the back. In the last two panels it looks better.

  44. vsophi

    I… hnngh.

    I’ll have to get used to this.

  45. Nik

    This chapter is now known as “The Hair Diaries”.

  46. Me

    I hate to break it to you, girl.
    But you could be bi.

    1. AgentKeen

      Well, yes, she could be… But I’m taking Joyce’s last comment to mean ‘Oh, so THIS is what lustful thoughts feel like when related to new hairstyles… Oh my….’ so at the very least, she isn’t lusting after Sal.

      Yet…

      1. Rikushadow5

        I give it 2 weeks. In comic time, of course, because then it’ll be the other side of this decade before it actually happens, meaning we’ll all have years to make more cracks about Joyce’s budding bisexuality.

  47. Robert

    Did ethan seriously part his hair in the middle? Is he a dunce or does he just not realize that he chose a douchebag hair cut?

  48. John

    *eyes Billie in the last panel*

    Please tell me that this is going to result in Billie trying to seduce Joyce’s gay boyfriend away from her.

    1. Charles RB

      We can but hope.

  49. FlyingFish

    It’s Hair Week on Dumbing of Age!

    1. Mr. Morningstar

      NO ONE’S HAIR IS SAFE

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