123

Best
Posted on December 9, 2010 by David M Willis

123 thoughts on “Best”

  1. Jen Aside

    BRING OUT THE PROSTITUTES

    not ones from Walmart, tho

    1. Milosh

      Sorry, no choice. Walmart’s low prices have run all of the small, family prostitutes out of business.

      1. R

        And they’re all cheap and made-in-China?

        1. Fusebox

          Full Metal Jacket flasback

          “Me soh horny, me love you long time…”

        2. Nathan

          No, no! Joe get you numba one fuckee. Five dolla each.

        3. Malph

          Those are the best kind of prostitutes.

        4. Malph

          Also, inb4 Mike.

        5. wnderjif

          thats just disturbing, cause sex slaves form china and all countries really does happen..

        6. Malph

          The mention of that made my avatar sad.

        7. R

          I put cheap first, just so that would conjure an image of manufactured fake people. Like cheap RealDolls.
          China also has horrible human rights violations in the manufacturing plants, working their workers beyond what is safe and sane. I’m very glad I had the privilege to be born into a financially secure family in an industrialized country.

        8. Joebo

          @ Malph your avatar is always sad. It’s Emo RobinĀ®

        9. Malph

          ^ I meant to put sad(er), but I caught the mistake a second before it posted.

        10. Hinoron

          “…really does happen”.

          True… about 1/100,000th as often as claimed by the media sensationalists who want you to donate money to their “cause.”

    2. Twigs

      I think Walmart only has male prozzies. You need to go to Zellers for the female ones.

  2. Qaxis

    Danny doesn’t seem to opposed to this, somehow.

    1. Matt

      He is a red-blooded American male. He’s got reservations, but you know what they say, any port in a storm.

  3. Fissioninferno

    Whores are people too.

    1. jaredTSF

      No they’re not

      1. David Herbert

        Yes they are. Sad, slutty people.

        1. Amurana

          Some people REALLY like sex, and if people are going to pay them for that, then more power to them. ^_^

      2. Lokitsu

        Actually whores are your mom.

        All whores, we cloned her.

      3. Rodrigo

        They are a kind of undead, like vampires and Mike. Live in the outside, dead inside.

    2. Jenny Creed

      They sure are. I like to call them whores because I don’t think there’s anything wrong with being a whore. Although they like to be called sex workers so we probably should call them that.

      *The more you know*

  4. Cassidy

    What did Joe leave to get?

    1. Noones

      Looks like a shower basket.

      1. Pagannerd

        SHOWER SCENE!

        Willis, if you give us the fanservice this is so clearly setting up, I shall build a temple to you. It’ll have statues of you in dramatic, imposing configurations, everburning lanterns and everything.

        1. Dana

          I don’t know what you had when you first posted that comment, but it doesn’t quite work with a Joe one.

  5. R

    When I read this first I said out loud “Oh dear.”

  6. Drpepperfan

    You can be my Wingman any time.

    1. Cratacon

      Bullshit, you can be mine.

  7. JackNapier

    Joe is the best friend EVER

  8. lifeless1

    I hope Joe never puts on pants. :3

    1. JackNapier

      And thus Willis made it so, and the readers saw that it was good.

      1. Shardok

        I’ve a friend that never seems to put on pants or a shirt at his house, despite having company over…

      2. Shardok

        Oh, and as my avatar commands it.

        He’d go pantsless for you for only a nickle.

  9. jaredTSF

    How come none of my friends pay for prostitutes

    1. jaredTSF

      oh hay, my avatars back

    2. Maark30

      Who says he paid????

    3. JackNapier

      Because they’re smart.

    4. CJ

      They clearly aren’t your friends.

      1. Shift

        “Friends don’t let friends graduate high school with their virginity. Be a friend and by a hooker.”

  10. Joebo

    Now we know why Joe didn’t bring up prostitutes yesterday when talking to Dorothy about Danny, because he’d already tried it.

    1. Malph

      You have let me down. You have the Mike avatar and haven’t already made a crack about someone’s mother.

      1. Joebo

        I don’t have to bring up anything about anyone’s mother. Your mind does that for me. Bwa hahahahahaha!

        1. Viktoria

          Poor, at best. Try this next time:
          “I talked about prostitutes already, so your mom was mentioned.”

  11. Cha

    Well, I’m not sure who rubbed off on who, but it seems that across universes, Robin and Joe have an affinity for prostitutes.

    1. JackNapier

      Hey, prostitutes are a universally-accepted solution for most problems.

      1. Shift

        Unless you’re of course you hold public office or have any sort of celebrity status… Or you’re in the clergy… or school teacher… or a parent who is caught in a sting.

        1. JackNapier

          Being caught is not part of the solution.

        2. Shift

          So you’re admitting that’s one problem that prostitutes can’t solve.

    2. Joebo

      “who rubbed off on whom“

      1. Cha

        I’m taking AP English. I will kindly flip certain grammatical rules off happily, as a consequence. :’D

    3. dethtoll

      heh, “rubbed off”

      1. dethtoll

        oh what i got a mike icon

        1. Pagannerd

          Clearly, the Avatar Deities favour you.

          (Also, your response should obviously have been “I rubbed off on your Mom.”)

        2. Kernanator

          No, I did. For a nickel.

  12. Bickendan

    Ooh, a Noodle Incident!

  13. Pingback: Tweets that mention Dumbing of Age - Best -- Topsy.com

  14. RickZarber

    I’m liking this Danny and Joe-centric week. It feels right.

  15. Jen Aside

    So which “hot chick” is he going to see in the lobby?

    …FAZ.

    1. Joebo

      I want this to be true!

    2. zuche

      Good shot.

    3. jaredTSF

      MAKE IT SO!

  16. shovels

    I hope they only see Dorothy in the lobby, oh yeah šŸ˜€

    1. Joebo

      I also want this to be true!

      1. Pagannerd

        What don’t you want to be true?

        1. zuche

          That thing about the cat and the isotope in the box, probably.

        2. Joebo

          The cat is neither dead nor alive!

  17. Steven

    Joe’s gonna find Danny some hot chicks and then he’s just going to… let him HAVE them? I somehow find this difficult to believe.

    1. zuche

      Not them. Just one. Joe will be keeping the others on the bus for himself.

    2. Wackd

      That was my first thought upon reading this comic.

  18. bramblepatch

    …and that’s when I bought the horse a prostitute.

    1. ME

      I love this guy!

      1. Scullwah

        in retrospect, this might not be the ideal audience for that story

        1. Heather

          Appropriate icon.

        2. Shift

          Since when?

  19. Beachfox

    Joe Butt!

    That is all.

  20. Shift

    Another…? Can we find out what happened there exactly? And second: I bet Joe got her on discount thanks to repeat business.

    1. Plama

      That seems unlikely, knowing Joe’s history. All the ladies enjoy Joe’s company voluntarily.

      1. Shift

        Don’t be so sure. You’re making the incorrect belief that only desperate people who no one else will voluntarily want to have sex with, have sex with prostitutes. And he belief that Joe has standards.

        I mean, do you know how many smart, handsome and charismatic men who can have any sort of woman, have been caught with hookers? Just look at Hollywood Celebrities.

        Joe a 100% sexually driven person. He’ll have sex with any and all woman, regardless of age, personality or occupation. Sure, I’ll conceed that most of his sex life has been with girls who were more than happy to volunteer their services free of charge (at least that’s what we’re ASSUMING in this comic. Remember, alternate-universe. For all we know, in this universe he’s actually a virgin who just talks big).

        But considering how blase Joe is regarding emotional connections, as opposed to physical ones, he could easily be one of those kinds of guys who’ll have sex with a prostitute, solely because he gets to have sex. It could easily be a check-list of woman who he wants to do before he dies.

        Also, he’ll probably think the bragging rights to that are like a man’s badge of honor.

  21. Dahlia

    BWAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!

    Nice one, Joe! (I somehow wouldn’t put that past him)

  22. Noxx

    If he was thoughtful enough to spring for a hooker, what’s there to apologize for?

    1. zuche

      Never buy a gift the recipient is going to hate, such a pet tarantula for someone with arachnophobia or a copy of Lex Luthor’s autobiography for that Clark Kent guy.

    2. Lokitsu

      Are you sure he PAID for the prostitute?
      Because nothing would piss me off more than a friend picking up a prostitute for me and then leaving me with the bill.

  23. Randonimity

    Was that hooker before or after Dorothy came into the picture?

    1. JK9000

      Surprise Twist: Dorothy WAS the hooker!

      1. Pagannerd

        (… Slow, astounded applause.)

      2. Shift

        Well how else is she going to put herself through an Ivy League school?

        1. MLEst1

          Every good Ivy League-er knows that you can’t let others run your life. Dorothy wasn’t the prostitute- she ran the ring.

        2. Shift

          Yeah, but she’s not an Ivy League-er yet, so…

  24. aydr

    You know who’s gonna be in the lobby?

    Dina. (Why she’s out of her room I don’t know. Dinosaurs in the lounge?)

    1. Feenyksfyre

      Clever girl.

  25. Heather

    Am I the only one who thinks panel 3 is kind of adorable? (Granted I’m kind of a friendship/bromance sap). Awww Joe, you’re almost kind of nice in more than simply looks and fanservice.

    Granted Danny might not appreciate as much as you might want him to given the fact you still haven’t put on trousers and are topless.

    (Or maybe he does… dang it the weirdo shipper in me howls for this!)

    1. Pagannerd

      Given Willis’ track record of filling up his casts with gay, you may not have to wait too long to get your wish.

  26. Noel Schornhorst

    Am I alone in thinking Joe would sound like Patrick Warburton?

    Also, Danny should see only Ethan when they go down to the lobby!

    Ooo! Or Mike (who in his assholery and foresight, forced all the girls out of the common area).

  27. Emily

    Joe in that final panel nearly killed me. The look on his face is so fantastic.

    1. Roborat

      FAAAAAACE!

  28. Raistandantilus

    Not enough, Joe. Clearly, not enough.

  29. The A.D.D. Kidd

    Ah Joe, you haven’t changed/reverted/??? much from the other comics, have you?

  30. Richie9999

    I wish I had a wingman like Joe.

    1. Shift

      I wouldn’t recommend it. Joe’ll probably lure all the woman in, and then realize he has a chance with them, and thus will go home with them all, leaving you behind. Joe has that “every man for himself” air about him.

  31. sarpiedon

    Ahm a little scared about who Joe’s gonna pick up in the lobby.

    1. sarpiedon

      ACK! Im Roz!

      1. zuche

        Smile for the webcam?

  32. agentksilver

    All the homosexual innuendo about Dan wanting Joe to put on pants, and here we have this image of Joe crouching over Dan, and nothing? Nothing? Come on, DoA readers! Even I saw this one and I’m not usually one to read homosexual subtext in anything.

    1. agentksilver

      By “innuendo” I mean “outright saying it.” I’m not sure why I called it “innuendo.”

      1. zuche

        Don’t worry about it. Even innuendo gave up being subtle a long time ago.

  33. Loki

    I love Joe’s indignation in the last panel.

  34. dchorror

    I don’t see how Joe would be a good wingman. It seems like they’d go out, and everyone would go to Joe.

    Danny just doesn’t have a lot of charisma right now.

    1. agentksilver

      He’s got to punt the fuglies somewhere.

      1. dchorror

        Doesn’t that go against finding Danny a hot girl?

        Also, with the betting who will be down there, I’m going with Joe and Dorothy having arranged for Joyce to be there.

  35. katie01

    …Never change, Joe. Never change.

    (Also: Dammit, Willis, why are you so awesome? I just spent six hours archive-crawling Shortpacked! and I really don’t need to follow anymore webcomics.)

  36. Aetharion

    whoreswhoreswhoreswhoreswhores

  37. Roborat

    Heh, I heard Patrick Warburton’s voice in the last panel. I see I was not the only one. Also, love the FAAAAAAACE that Joe makes.

    1. dchorror

      Now I hear it. I don’t know how good that is.

      1. Pagannerd

        I honestly don’t know why, but in my head, Joe sounds like the voice of Chef from South Park.

        This is probably a sign of a grave mental defect.

  38. HMRC4EVR

    If Joe is Danny’s wingman, then Dan’s Mavrick and Joe’s Goose.

    And we all remember what happened to Goose.

    Or would Joe=Iceman, and thus his assholeness be suddenly explained??

  39. Jacob

    It just occurred to me that this girl he’s going to try to get him is Joyce…

  40. Zem

    MANLY PICNIC.

  41. Kernanator

    This sounds like the greatest untold story, involving the prostitute, Silly String, a car chase, and a small fire.

  42. Evan

    “And thats when I tried to buy the horse a prostitute.”

  43. Daniel

    I love Danny, maybe because I am a Danny.

  44. RandomPerson12

    Joe probably waited to apologize until after he had sex with the prostitute.

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