303

Joke
Posted on May 14, 2015 by David M Willis

303 thoughts on “Joke”

  1. Ess

    This whole situation gets continuously more awkward. At least there’s no actual laugh track in this one…

    1. sps48

      Are you allowed to post first?

      1. Cheryl

        Glitch in the matrix

      2. nothri

        Actually we encourage it. We aren’t fans of so much mass Jen Aside around here, yet it keeps happening.

        1. Clif

          Speak for yourself.

        2. Khrene

          Appropriate avatar is appropriate.

      3. Jen Aside

        look, someone else can figure out the timing sometimes, it’s statistically probable

        and what “mass” Jen Aside, I post like twice a day on average

        1. hitmonkey

          It’s a pun base don Jen Aside sounding like genocide.

        2. Jen Aside

          do you know how problematic it is trying to stifle a laugh in the Holocaust Museum because the video says Jen Aside was responsible for the deaths of millions

        3. Mitsukara

          That’s okay, you have your own City Zone that wasn’t actually in Sonic 2 ’cause they cancelled it during production.

        4. Jen Aside

          because Sonic Team can’t finish a game

  2. Jen Aside

    haha oh Mary you sad sack of irony, you’d just end up with a room full of lesbabies instead

    1. Stephen Bierce

      Nah. Just litters of cats.

      1. TrueVCU

        Same thing

        1. Renshear Blade

          Calicos!

        2. yomi

          Lesbian cats?

        3. Kennerly

          No loves pussy like a lesbian cat.

        4. Screwball

          Naa, litters of cats aren’t lesbabies, they’re furbabies…

          Yeah, I actually can see Mary turning into a crazy cat lady…

    2. Ess

      Immaculate birth, then? You’d think that’d be the kind of thing Mary would be supportive of.

      1. Rycan

        Immaculate conception? Mary? I don’t think she’s THAT conceited.

      2. Rich

        Meh, just need a Shortpacked crossover and a technology loan and they’re good to go.

        1. Rich

          Ye gods, thinking about it, who gets the DNA recoding for superspeed to accelerate the pregnancy there? Roz’s gene’s are closer to Robin’s, but Becky – can you imagine a more hyperactive Becky? The mind boggles. Impulse would tell her to tone it down a notch.

    3. Doctor_Who

      They come in threes, too.

      1. ninja_jesus

        Hah, threes.

    4. LeslieBean4Shizzle

      I haven’t been in a room full of lesbians since… hm. How many lesbians do you need to be considered full?

      1. Dean

        One. As long as it’s a small room, or a large lesbian.

        1. LeslieBean4Shizzle

          Then I haven’t been in a room full of lesbian since… five minutes ago.

      2. Plasma Mongoose

        Metric or imperial lesbians?

        1. Geo

          Imperial Lesbians? Somehow that seems like a whacked out 70s, sci-fi porn plot.

        2. Barf Ninjason

          TAKE MY MONEY

        3. espanolbot

          Hm, didn’t they announce that the first canon gay character in Star Wars was a lesbian that worked for the Imperials in some capacity? Though I may be remembering it wrong.

        4. Drunken Nordmann

          I googled it and from what I found it was less “announce” and more “speaking about a character who happens to be homosexual”.

        5. Kaoy

          And “canon” is a bit of a stretch, since she is a EU character and a fairly minor one, or so I am informed. Starwars EU has always been extremely lukewarm about canon things; Han Solo would have had to have been on a half a dozen planets at once if everything was solid.

        6. LeslieBean4Shizzle

          Well, that depends on what you want to do with your lesbians.
          If you need your lesbians to be regular and easier to use mathematically, then metric is the way to go.
          If you want your lesbians to be ostentatious and provide an aristocratic air to the room, then you need to go with Imperial.

        7. DarkoNeko

          I always found hilarous that “the country of Freedom” uses *imperial* units.

        8. Agemegos

          It doesn’t, really. The Imperial system of units was adopted in the UK after American independence, and was never used in the USA. America uses the US Customary system of units, which is basically a simplified version of what the UK used before it changed to Imperial in 1820-something.

          In the Imperial system, a gallon of water weighs ten pounds, not eight-and-a-bit.

        9. Jen

          Seriously? That’s fascinating. I need to go read up on the US Customary system of units. 🙂 (I’m am actually serious here. This is not sarcasm)

        10. No Name

          I have heard that Canadian gallons have five quarts for some reason.

        11. Clif

          Canada gallons are on the imperial system so they are 4 Canadian quarts or 5 US quarts. Frankly, I think it’s so the Canadians can get more mileage out of their pints.

        12. DarkoNeko

          My poor european heaaad x_x

        13. No Name

          @Clif
          Well, leave it to Encyclopedia Brown to over-simplify things to get a conviction, as usual.

        14. Rich

          Hey, Jimmy Carter tried to get us to go metric way back when. I was all for it, but I was also in elementary school at the time so my opinion wasn’t exactly a concern to politicians.

        15. brionl

          Where are all those spherical lesbians of uniform density?

  3. Doc

    Wait…

    Wasn’t Mary the one that got pregnant in Roomies? Irony.

    1. madock345

      Someone doesn’t read the alt-text ^_^

      1. Doc

        You’re right!

        Alas, my memory makes an arse of me yet again!

    2. John

      No baby was ever in evidence, so my personal headcanon is that she didn’t puke because she had morning sickness; she puked because Billie punched her in the frickin’ head and she got a concussion, and the Roomies! characters are idiots.

      I think that got Jossed later, but I’m sticking with it.

      1. Dreadhawk177

        In need of a linky…

        1. John

          I’m assuming you mean for Billie punching Mary in the head, because everyone wants to see that.

          It’s a different Mary in a different universe, but close enough.

        2. Cow

          I haven’t used HTML in a long time, so I’m not even gonna try.

          http://www.itswalky.com/chapter/coming-up/

          That’s the start of the chapter.

          http://www.itswalky.com/comic/heres-your-textbook/

          That’s the start of the shitstorm that leads to…

          http://www.itswalky.com/comic/ive-overcome-my-problems/

          Billie clocking Mary. Mary then falls to her knees, pukes a little bit, and everyone starts calling it morning sickness, because everyone in Roomies is just a little bit retarded.

      2. Doc

        Actually, in the walkypedia page on her (http://walkypedia.wikia.com/wiki/Mary_Bradford) it states she got pregnant at a party, but got an abortion. She did get married and pregnant though later.

        1. John

          She was presumed pregnant at the end of Roomies!, because she puked after Billie punched her in the head. She did not have a baby after that. I don’t remember whether it was ever actually confirmed in-strip that she actually was pregnant then, or if it could have just been the Roomies! characters making stupid assumptions, and the old IW! archives are too much of a mess for me to feel like trawling through to figure it out.

        2. Carriethedragon

          I thought it was stated in a later It’s Walky! strip that she got an abortion, but I can’t find the strip.

        3. Wack'd

          It happened in Is a Song Forever?, which last I checked was up on the Shortpacked! site but I can’t find it anymore. It was basically a miniseries that showed the Roomes! cast graduating.

        4. Sir Robin

          It’s in the second Roomies book

        5. mxjosh

          I’m pretty certain David has confirmed multiple times that she puked because she was pregnant

        6. Cow

          Willis’s commentary on a recent It’s Walky! strip that she was preggo.

        7. No Name

          And besides, even if they were being illogical, Mary didn’t do anything to dissuade then of the idea and acted as if she was, in fact, pregnant. I assume Danny just made a vindictive shot in the dark, and it managed to hit home.

        8. John

          I wasn’t exempting Mary from the set of idiot Roomies! characters making stupid assumptions. I mean, as far as we know, she had no more evidence that she was pregnant than Danny did. It’s not like we saw her pee on a stick or anything.

          I just really hate the “she’s a dirty sinner who must be punished with an unwanted pregnancy” vibe about the whole thing.

  4. Kernanator

    I don’t understand why Mary doesn’t have more friends. She’s so pleasant!

    1. Plasma Mongoose

      Mary Mary, she’s quite contrary…

      1. JessWitt

        Mary, Mary, such a jerk.

      2. Screwball

        How does her garden grow?

        (Hydroponics lab in a specially selected house, complete with foil covering over the windows…?)

    2. Doctor_Who

      A little ray of sunshine…in that it hurts to look at, burns your skin, and prolonged exposure can give you cancer.

    3. Yotomoe

      She’s a devout christian! She already has the 3 best friends she’ll ever need!

      1. podian

        She’s not a devout christian, she’s a devout jerk.

    4. Jen Aside

      she’s like the oldest young person, even older than Sarah!

      now get off her lawn

  5. Kris

    Hey it’s Mary!….she’s important…..maybe….not really…….no one likes her.

  6. Sionyx

    If it’s been previously shown that Roz and Mary are roomies, I missed it. Once I stopped laughing, my only thought was “Poor Roz!”

    1. madock345

      It’s the perfect sitcom setup.

      1. Pantheon the Mantheon

        One is a sexually liberated liberal, the other is a (probably) sexually repressed conservative Christian. When you put them together in one room in college, both get highly opinionated! Ladies and gentlemen, “Two Unnecessarily Judgmental Girls” starring Roz (applause to her smiling face) and Mary (Absolute silence and one guy in the back yells “boo, you suck” to her evil smirk)

    2. Questionor

      my reaction was “Wait, they’re roommates?! how did I miss this?!”

      1. Doctor_Who

        I recall Mary complaining about some of the stuff Rox put in her roommate agreement.

        1. Questionor

          yea I found this http://www.dumbingofage.com/2013/comic/book-4/01-the-only-dope-for-me-is-you/monsters/

        2. neeks

          i somehow read the link to that as “the only dope for me is you monsters”

    3. Jason

      It’s been pointed out at least twice before (1, the Joe bangs Roz storyline, and 2, the Family Weekend when Riley visited).

    4. Catullus

      There have been a few prior mentions (for instance, this strip and the one that follows it.)

    5. John

      We’ve known for a while.

      There was also the bit where Mary was sitting in the hall in a frump because Roz had her monstrous little sister in their room. Which is an obvious indication that Mary is pure evil, because how could anyone hate Riley? She just wants cereal!

    6. Lord Stoneheart

      I don’t know when it was first shown, but when Riley visited it was definitely shown. Mary refused to stay in the room because of how monstrous Riley is. With her cereal eating, and Animal Crossing playing. That’s probably steps on some pathway to Satanism.

    7. jpic89

      It’s a perfect pair though, when you think about it. The poster-child for bad Christians rooming with the poster-child for bad atheists.

      1. Lord Stoneheart

        Roz is an atheist?

      2. Rutee

        Nnnno, Roz is not the poster child for bad atheists. She’s considerably less terrible than r/atheism, or Dawkins.

        1. Dean

          She has never once worn a fedora.

      3. No Name

        I’d say Roz is the poster child for bad liberals. I think she still identifies as Catholic to some degree (which just makes her relationship with Mary that much worse), but I don’t know for sure.

      4. invisiblemoose

        Roz is not an atheist.

        1. Amazistool

          What makes you so sure?
          I don’t think Roz being religious was shown in the comic.
          On the other hand she depreciates Joyce’s beliefs as superstitious, fear-mongering garbage.

        2. No Name

          She deprecated the “lust is sinful” aspect of her beliefs, not the “invisible sky wizard” aspect. Further, just because you don’t flaunt your religion doesn’t mean you don’t have one. The only way to be sure someone is atheist is if they say they are, and Roz hasn’t.

        3. jpic89

          Fair enough, but I’ve never met someone who ripped into someone of faith the way she did Joyce for any aspect of the church that wasn’t an atheist.

  7. DanMan9820

    I don’t understand why Mary gets constantly shit on (both in this universe and the Walkyverse). I get that she sucks, but it seems a little extreme.

    1. Safaftsa

      Well, Mary has shown herself to be antisemitic and homophobic, the latter to the extent that she is passive-aggressively trying to destroy Billie’s friendship with Joyce and Ruth’s career.

      1. JessWitt

        She’s antisemetic? Refresh my memory, somebody with some choice strips.

        1. Lord Stoneheart

          I can’t easily link to strips on my phone, but in the Choosing my Religion chapter, Mary talks about how she agrees with the sermon about how the Jews missed clues about Jesus as the messiah in their own scripture. Dorothy points out how condescending it is.

          As for general Mary hate, some of it’s probably leaked over from the other universe. But even in the Dumbiverse she’s been judgemental and antagonistic to pretty much everyone. And hasn’t shown any positive traits really.

        2. JessWitt

          Yeesh, douche chills.

        3. HereYouGo

          The relevant conversation is around hereabouts:

          http://www.dumbingofage.com/2012/comic/book-2/02-choosing-my-religion/feet/

        4. Gamaran Sepudomyn

          That’s not so much antisemitic talk as much as general arrogant douchebaggery.

        5. Lord Stoneheart

          No reason it can’t be both. It assumes that if the Jews really knew how to interpret their scripture, they would be Christians. Its basically saying Jews are only Jews because they are clueless. That’s pretty anti-Semitic.

        6. Gamaran Sepudomyn

          My point was that she’s not so much specifically antisemitic as much as generally rude, arrogant and a bongo.

        7. Lord Stoneheart

          Well okay, I’ll concede she’s not about to join up with a Neo-Nazi group. But my point is that is that it’s not a stretch to call her an anti-Semite considering what she said. It might not be a deep seated hatred, but there’s certainly a disdain for them, even if it’s only “They aren’t part of the same group I am, which is the best because I’m the best.”

        8. DarkoNeko

          Hm, I think it’s more about the classical “MY local church is right, all the others are wrong” trip. The smaller the community, the hardcorest they’re about about it ?

        9. Amazistool

          But that’s a real stretch, isn’t it? All that Mary said in the strip that “HereYouGo” linked was “I wanted to have a serious discussion on today’s service”. She actually said “I thought it was a pretty good service” in the strip immediately before that, but she never specifically talks about that sermon.

          It was Sierra who admits to like that sermon, so your logic should make Sierra the antisemite, not Mary!

        10. Amazistool

          Just to avoid possible confusion: I am replying to Lord Stoneheart.

        11. Lord Stoneheart

          Hah, I forgot it was Sierra who specifically brings up that part of the sermon. Though Mary does defend the sermon when Dorothy brings up her problem with it. (This leads to the “What kind of Christian are you?” “Non?” part.

    2. quix

      She’s yet to haven shown redeeming features or even a background that lets us empathize with why she’s a villain. I think she’s supposed to be the counterpoint to Joyce on the opposite side of the love/self-righteousness spectrum of extreme religiousness, but she’s a side character so she hasn’t got the development Joyce has.

      1. Fish

        It is nice to see “there are multiple ways to be christian”; many stories don’t have enough characters do to this well for any group. On the same leaf, its nice that Roz and Dorothy provide “there are multiple ways to be liberal”.

    3. Smiling Cat

      It’s because she’s a bongo.

    4. nothri

      She’s trying to break up my gravatar. Therefore, she needs to be launched into the sun.

    5. DarkoNeko

      Because the author uses her tht way ™

  8. Plasma Mongoose

    Mary may not be exactly my favourite character but I can get behind that plot idea.

    1. newllend(henryvolt)

      …keep talking I’m curious.

      1. Plasma Mongoose

        If it results in Roz having Becky’s gayby, I’m all for Mary’s idea.

        1. newllend(henryvolt)

          Aaaaand new ship, let’s see how far this one goes.

  9. Rani

    Mary Delenda Est

  10. ChocolateRat

    I love how both Becky and Roz say no at the same time, made me laugh.

    1. Plasma Mongoose

      Is that a new ship being launched?

      1. ChocolateRat

        I could see their interactions being fun, so despite Roz being straight, I’m open to the shipping.

        1. Wack'd

          Is Roz straight? Is this a thing we know for sure?

          I mean, we know she’s into dudes, but that just means she’s not gay.

        2. David M Willis

          http://www.dumbingofage.com/2011/comic/book-1/06-yesterday-was-thursday/out/

          http://www.shortpacked.com/index.php?id=1812

        3. Screwball

          The HMAS Just Becroz. takes a fatal torpedo to the stern. And yet, we can still see some crew & passengers trying to keep her running, Hoping it’ll pull through…

          XD

        4. Wack'd

          I’m slipping in my old age!

        5. Plasma Mongoose

          According to canon, Roz is willing to make out with other girls but draws the line at lezzo rumby-pumpy.

        6. Em

          I think she’s only willing to make out with girls if it annoys her sister.

    2. Rich

      Roz has her an off-campus party tonight too, and Mary isn’t welcome there either.

      1. ChocolateRat

        That is true, I hope Roz would show up to Joyces party though, to see them reconcile.

        1. Rich

          Could happen, she might make a cameo appearance before heading into town if the timing works out. Joyce’s party starts at 9PM, that’s early-ish for Saturday night.

  11. Catullus

    I can’t say I expected Roz on the invite list.

    1. newllend(henryvolt)

      Didn’t expect that either but here you go.

      1. newllend(henryvolt)

        And if Mike can get on the list then anything’s Possible

        1. chris73

          Unless you’re Joe

        2. DarkoNeko

          Or Mary.

    2. Smiling Cat

      I assume she’d be on the invite list for the same reason Mary isn’t.

  12. Rich

    Confirms Mary not being on the invite list.

    1. Yotomoe

      She’s on the only invite list that matters. Jesus’

      1. Opus the Poet

        I’m pretty sure Jesus has her on the “if nobody else wants to come” list.

      2. Smiling Cat

        Only ’cause Jesus is a chill dude. It takes a divine level of patience to deal with Mary’s shit.

        1. Rich

          Once you’ve been nailed to a cross most things kind of pale in comparison.

        2. saltchocolate

          Hanging out with Mary — not as bad as crucifixion!

        3. Smiling Cat

          Only slightly worse than being whipped!

        4. Rich

          Some people pay good money for that, you know.

        5. fogel

          Which DoA character is most likel6 to become a dominatrix for fun and/or profit?

  13. SUGauthor

    I do not want the end lesson of Roz’s arc to be that she was justified to attack Joyce. This is making me apprehensive.

    1. Em

      Wait what?

      1. SUGauthor

        I don’t see why Joyce would invite Roz unless she decided that her verbal assault was justified, which it very clearly wasn’t.

        1. OnnaStik

          Or Joyce is trying to take the high road and feels that, even though Roz said some crappy things, she’s not actually dangerous to have around?

        2. SUGauthor

          She’s not dangerous to have around, but that doesn’t mean she’s good to have around either, isn’t the whole point for Joyce to have a good time?

        3. OnnaStik

          I think the idea is that either the olive branch of this invitation will chill Roz out, or else she just won’t come, so it’s… not exactly win/win, but at least win/not-be-any-worse-off.

        4. segnosaur

          While Roz did take things way to far, there was at least a kernel of truth to what she was saying… Joyce may not have been out there protesting against the gays with the Westboro Baptist crowd, but she did say she “hates homosexuality”. Its that type of attitude that allows anti-gay discrimination to continue.

        5. Jon

          How do you come to that conclusion? There are shades of gray, in case you forgot?

        6. Rich

          Must…resist…terrible…BDSM…erotica…reference…

    2. TSB

      In this strip, Roz is going on about how Joyce must be joking or trying to trick her, when actually her presence on the list is a sincere indication of trust and goodwill. She’s making a fool of herself. And recall that Roz got kicked out of class for that outburst, by Leslie, who is always portrayed in the highest esteem.

      Willis is clearly portraying Roz as arrogant and needing to learn to be more thoughtful and empathetic. As someone who really likes Roz, is impressed with her activism (for a college freshman), and feels very sympathetic towards her for being angry towards Joyce, I think it’s good characterization and a necessary step for her that will help her be a better person.

      1. invisiblemoose

        Hear hear.

      2. DarkoNeko

        Assuming she cancels her other plans for the night, then.

        1. No Name

          She doesn’t have to, she just has to show up, talk to to Joyce, then leave. We’re not even sure there’s a schedule conflict.

        2. DarkoNeko

          Hmmm.

      3. Ibaimendi

        I love this. Immediately after Becky says that Joyce trusts Roz, Roz proves herself trustworthy in a small way, by denying to Mary that there is a party. She’s picked up on the fact that the party is invite only and Joyce is trying to be careful. And, she protects her. Roz isn’t *nice* but in this comic she is doing the right thing for the sake of someone she really doesn’t even like.

    3. Cat

      after figuring out that something bad probably happened to Joyce at the Ryan party, Roz gave her the number to a support group. despite her outbursts due to their conflicting world views, Roz has shown kindness to Joyce in the past and I think Joyce appreciates that and views her as a trustworthy person because of it.

    4. Smiling Cat

      Roz’s assault was spiteful and hurtful and put bongoing out a fundie over actually helping her to a greater understanding. Doesn’t mean that it couldn’t have a positive effect or show Joyce to a potential ally that could help her and Becks.

  14. Jason

    It’s pretty surprising she’d invite Roz, considering the tongue-lashing she got in class earlier in the week.

    Points up for Roz, points down for Joe.

    1. Tribbly

      It’s more surprising since this is like the same freaking day by DoA’s timeline, if I recall.

      1. SUGauthor

        No this is the next day.

        http://www.dumbingofage.com/2015/comic/book-5/03-the-butterflies-fly-away/forthright/

    2. Yotomoe

      Becky would be intrigued by your choice of words, Jason.

      1. DarkoNeko

        Kinky.

    3. Jen Aside

      Joyce: “Wait, no, not her! Who was I thinking of… Riley! Yeah”

  15. Keroshino

    Ech! I was hoping we would never have to see Mary again…silly me. 🙁

  16. Yotomoe

    Y’know. Unless Roz just decides to raise her baby in your dorm. Did you even think this through, Mary!?

    1. Plasma Mongoose

      Babies or even gaybies are noisy critters at night.

      1. Rich

        Babies. Noisier than hamsters, and nowhere near as cute.

    2. newllend(henryvolt)

      And since your the one who jinxed her your going to haft to help raise it, feed it, give it baths and take it on walks.

      1. Rich

        Is that how it works? I missed the part about jinxes being a leading cause of pregnancy when I got The Talk, and I had no idea they made you responsible for child support.

  17. brumagem

    Roz stop pigeon-holing Joyce. Mary (and half the other “Christian” characters) stop giving Christians a bad name.

    1. Yotomoe

      Pigeon-holing sounds pretty kinky!

      1. Plasma Mongoose

        Sounds like what X-rated Bert from Sesame Street might be into.

        1. chris73

          That might be the funniest comment I’ve read on this site

        2. boomwolf

          Hey, it’s called “Doin the Pigeon” for a reason.

      2. boomwolf

        That put an image in my head that will take a good long while to remove… that might’ve come out wrong.

    2. Lord Stoneheart

      None of the other Christian characters really act the same hateful way as Mary does. Joyce and Becky’s beliefs can hurt others but they aren’t hateful like Mary.

      1. brumagem

        Becky’s dad, Joyce’s mom (Joyce’s dad is borderline). They cancel out the reasonable ones like Sierra and Joyce.

        1. Lord Stoneheart

          Oh right. Forgot about parents. The wonderful, wonderful parents. I was more thinking of Sierra and Agatha. And I’m pretty sure Billie and Danny also identify as Christian.

    3. Smiling Cat

      Give Roz a bit.

      1. Gamaran Sepudomyn

        And she’ll take a bongo?

        1. Smiling Cat

          no, no, give her a bit and you’ll see why Joyce wanted her there.

  18. TrueVCU

    I’m starting to think Becky is just inviting ppl on her own recognizance, because Joyce’s feelings < bongoIN' PARTY WOOOOOO

    1. Wack'd

      Oh hey, the *itch filter is still on. Neat. XD

      1. barefootbiker

        It’s also been retroactively applied to older comics, which is awesome. I just clicked one of the above links to comics with Mary in them and “bongo” is absolutely everywhere.

        1. TrueVCU

          Oh thank god, I thought I just had idiot fingers

    2. brumagem

      But … she has a list. Made by Joyce. The whole reason for this party is FOR JOYCE.

    3. David M Willis

      *becky, onpanel, literally points to a list of names crafted by joyce*

      “ASSHOLE BECKY’S JUST INVITING WHOEVER, THAT JERK”

      1. DarkoNeko

        BECKY IS LITTERALLY SATAN.

        1. tim gueguen

          Well, her hair is red, and she is wearing a red jacket. Missing the pitchfork, and Satan wouldn’t be caught dead wearing white shorts after Labor Day.

        2. Deanatay

          But, it’s not even Memorial Day. Still safe!

      2. Rich

        Silly Willis, the note isn’t legible to the readers. Plenty of room for Becky haters to claim she’s just making stuff up. That could be a grocery list for all they know. 🙂

        1. Leorale

          Even if it was legible, Becky could have still mind-controlled Joyce to write the names that Becky wanted! For some reason! That fiend!

  19. newllend(henryvolt)

    I was about to give Roz a chance till she said that smart ass comment but if she’s going to be like that then Fuck 2/3rds of everyone in this strip.

    1. Plasma Mongoose

      It’s not like Roz and Joyce ever really got alone…

      1. Someone

        Do not want them to get alone?

        1. Plasma Mongoose

          alone along

        2. Someone

          I knew what you meant, I was making a joke about the spelling error.

      2. newllend(henryvolt)

        True, I’m just thinking “Roz at least try why don’t you.”

        1. invisiblemoose

          Funny, I’m still waiting for people to give Roz a chance.

        2. newllend(henryvolt)

          I will try, I didn’t have that much of a beef with her till now SO I WILL TRY.

        3. timemonkey

          Lot’s of people gave Roz a chance. She was actually pretty well liked for several years until recently. That’s likely why they got so mad, they actually liked Roz so her words and actions angered them even more.

    2. Rycan

      What do you do with the remaining 1/3 of everyone?

      1. No Name

        Fudge ’em.

    3. Smiling Cat

      It’s hilarious how a commenter can kneejerk write Roz off like that because of her own kneejerk reaction. Life imitates art!

      1. Gigafreak

        Well, if I had to deal with Mary all day every day like Roz does, I think I’d probably react to Joyce’s invitation with similar suspicion.

  20. boomwolf

    Ah Mary. So good to see your pleasant visage again… nope couldn’t type that out without getting sick to my stomach. And Roz, c’mon, give Joyce a chance. Dame is trying at least.

  21. Romanticide

    Is kind of instictive the aversion to Mary at this point it seems?

  22. ArtieKrap

    dammit willis I laughed so hard I scared everyone in the house

  23. Isaac Rader

    …So she trusts the girl that spent most of class demonizing her more than Joe. I think Joyce may have forgiveness problems.

    1. Plasma Mongoose

      But Joe is a sex-mad guy from Joyce’s POV so…

      1. Someone

        Lets hope Joe gets a chance for redemption at some point, perhaps Ryan will show up again so Joe can punch him in the face.

    2. Wack'd

      Roz also offered Joyce access to a support group in the wake of her assault–and, lest we forget, the point of the party is so that Joyce can socialize in an environment where she feels safe. She may think Roz is a jerk, but she knows her heart is in the right place, and ultimately that’s what matters.

      1. Rich

        Has the invite list specifically included everyone who knows about Ryan’s assault on Joyce?

        1. Lord Stoneheart

          We don’t know if Sal is invited yet/ but we can probably assume, because Joyce thinks that Sal is the coolest. She probably also wants to invite Sal’s motorbike as well.

        2. segnosaur

          Actually I don’t think Roz knows the details. The first time she referred to the party she mistakenly complained about someone “making a scene”, but it didn’t sound like she knew the nature of the problem. And later, when she was talking to joyce about it, she said (to paraphrase) “If something bad happened here’s someone to talk to”.

          Of course, it doesn’t mean she didn’t find out more about it later.

    3. winter

      Joyce is attracted to Joe, in a physical sense if in no other way.
      She is not attracted to Roz.

      I think I would feel less safe around the girl who demonised me and condescended to me, but since Joyce was cripplingly afraid of her own sexuality even before she was unfortunate enough to be sexually assaulted, I get where she’s coming from. It has less to do with who Joe and Roz are and more to do with who Joyce is.

    4. Kamino Neko

      She trusts the self-righteous loudmouth who nonetheless helped draw the roadmap of her own moral awakening over the asswipe whose last act in Joyce’s presence is to lament that the gender studies class was talking about real problems LGBT people have rather than his pornographic lezzy fantasies. Hardly a priority problem.

  24. OnnaStik

    I’m amazed by how many people never overdid anything in their college years. At least, I assume they didn’t, because otherwise I’d be forced to assume that some of this Roz-hate may be slightly hypocritical.

    Me, I’m looking forward to seeing her learn better.

    1. invisiblemoose

      Yusssss, I had a feeling Roz would be on the list, I’m thrilled it happened on my birthday.

    2. newllend(henryvolt)

      I want to give every character at least a chance(sounds like a fruitless effort I know) but there are some things some of them do that just pisses me off.

    3. Smiling Cat

      You ever see one of those optical illusion things and count how many people claim that it didn’t fool them? Everyone’s superhuman in every way when they think nobody can prove otherwise.

      1. timemonkey

        I have never been able to see an optical illusion, ever. It makes me sad.

    4. Animal

      I graduated college almost thirty years ago, and I’m still overdoing every furshlugginer thing I can.

    5. timemonkey

      I was more of a Dorothy/Sarah type. Stay quite, learn, keep to myself.

  25. Architex

    Alt-text makes everything better.

  26. Resulli

    Fukkin’ Mary. lol

  27. luxlucis

    Man, Mary’s eyes are like a window to the devil’s soul.

    1. DarkoNeko

      So are your avatar’s 🙂

  28. advancecasette

    they should stuff her in a locker

  29. Bagge

    Awwwwwwww. Roz in panel two

  30. Idon'tcarenomore

    Happy Birthday Invisiblemoose.

    I’m trying to make up my mind if Becky is the worst or the best possible choice to be handing out invites.

    1. timemonkey

      Considering she’s suppose dot stay out of the hallway and avoid attracting attention to herself I’d say worst.

  31. Random832

    Okay, right now, Mary believes Becky is a student. Tomorrow we will see if Becky is smart enough to not correct her.

  32. Torra

    hahahaha I love Mary. Love to hate Mary, anyway.

    I love how the synchronised no there, genuinely made me laugh. Plus nice one Joyce for being forgiving enough to invite Roz to the party despite their differences. If it was me, she definiately wouldn’t have been invited

  33. nothri

    Mary is a bitter maam, bitter maam, bitter maam,
    Mary is a bitter maam, who’s heart is black as coal.

    1. No Name

      And everywhere that Mary went, Mary went, Mary went,
      And everywhere that Mary went, she was a hardened troll.

  34. Archivist

    Oh, wow. Did we know these two roomed together? Because of COURSE these two room together.

    1. DarkoNeko

      Yes.

      1. Gigafreak

        Here’s a link to one of the pages where it is brought up.

        http://www.dumbingofage.com/2013/comic/book-4/01-the-only-dope-for-me-is-you/monsters/

  35. Zaidyer

    Poor Mary. All we ever learn about her is that she’s a selfish elitist snob in any universe, and her “punishment” in the original is that ever-distasteful evangelical canard of unwed pregnancy. Everyone else gets to learn and grow and change, but Mary just stays evil no matter what happens to her.
    I don’t like it. I don’t believe anybody can be that far gone. Something’s got to give.

    1. winter

      I think some people might, sadly, be that far gone, but I don’t think Mary is yet. And in Willis’ own words, “whoops now mary’s important”. I think we’ll be seeing more of her, and from some different perspectives too. I’m not the only one either. There have been some… interesting… theories regarding the wristbands she always wears, theories I find quite persuasive, given what we know about Mary. I don’t think I’ve ever seen somebody spit out so much venom without swallowing even more of it.

      1. DarkoNeko

        Important, in that she already has the potential to snitch on Billie/Ruth, and… soon, Becky ?

        1. winter

          That was the way he meant it, yes. But I will be disappointed if Mary doesn’t become important in other ways to.
          She may never be a likeable character, but I hope we at least get some deconstruction of the fact that, as much as she is angry at everyone else for failing to live up to her standards, she’s got to to be just as angry at herself for failing to live up to them.

    2. Adam Black

      Not exactly.
      You are recasting Roomies Mary by how she turned out, not how she was originally intended.

      I think I read somewhere that she started out as Willis perfect Christian woman, Pretty, nice, moral, upright ( uptight ) etc. Then near the end he realized she represented more what he hated, and then he revealed her to be spiteful, lying , manipulative and two-faced.

      So her character arc was one of negative growth.

      This Mary starts off with all her negative traits and viciousness up-front and center, and is practically a 2-dimensional caricature of the original. I am hoping DOA Mary has enough growth, just to be a better villain.

      Nevertheless character growth and human personal growth is not the same thing. She grow as a character without “salvation” . Human Growth is something that you get because you somehow deserve it. Not every Willis character grows. “Faz” doesnt. Neither does Ambers Dad,Beckys Dad, Head Alien, … actually lots of characters.

      The other Mary was more calculating, and had a better developed personality as a cover. This one is too impulsive to keep up a mask for long.

      1. DarkoNeko

        Heyn Faz learned to wrestle lions !

        1. Rich

          Badly.

        2. winter

          He killed it and repurposed its hide as a snazzy outfit. How much better can you be at wrestling lions?

      2. SDGlyph

        I’m not as well-up on the Walkyverse as the Dumbiverse – was there any indication that Mary mellowed toward the end, recognising that she’d made her own mistakes? Did she take the I-guess-we’re-all-human-after-all route or the double-down-in-spite-and-self-loathing route, I mean. Or just stay as a byword for purity-culture hypocrisy and fundie intolerance?

        1. timemonkey

          She decided bad things happened to people because they deserve them.

  36. Kitschensyngk

    I could see Mary and Roz adding some unwanted friction to this party, for completely opposite but not dissimilar reasons.

  37. Zaxares

    I’m… honestly surprised that Joyce would invite Roz. Especially after how they parted the last time they spoke. But, guess I’ll see what happens next!

  38. airyu

    I hope Becky and Roz become pals~

  39. Skai Cyan

    Just how the hell big is Joyce’s room? Even if they used Billie and Sal’s room (with the half bath being the most awkward hallway ever), it still seems like they over invited for this thing.

    1. Rich

      If you can’t fit a dozen people in a dorm room with loft beds, you’re not trying very hard. So far they’re at what, ten, and at least two of them probably won’t show.

      1. Nono

        Joyce, Becky, Dorothy, Walky, Ethan, Jacob, Amber, Dina, Roz, Sarah, Billie, Sal, possibly Danny.

        That’s at least 12 people, possibly 13. My guess is that Sierra might be invited by virtue of being Dorothy’s roomie, but she’s generally a non-entity in the comic anyway.

        1. Rich

          Assuming Billie and Sal get their invites and actually show up, that’s about a comfortably full room. Sierra’s probably out, if she was getting an invite Becky would have asked Dorothy to relay it the same way she did with Walky. If some of the dodgy ones (Mike, Roz, whatever other surprises pop up) show up they might be legitimately crowded, but this is a dorm party. People will wander in and out as the crowd hits critical mass, and couples (which the list is light on) will drift off for some privacy as the night goes on.

        2. segnosaur

          Remember, Sierra has an on-going relationship with Joyce independent of Dorothy… they go to the same church. So it would make sense she would be invited.

          Perhaps Becky ran into Sierra off-panel.

        3. Nono

          “Sierra has an on-going relationship with Joyce independent of Dorothy”

          This is relevant to some people’s interests.

    2. Bill

      It will undoubtedly spill into the shared bathroom, possibly into the connecting room (occupied by, if memory serves me, Billie and Sal; and it wouldn’t surprise me that they are both on the invite list as well), and out into the hallway.  Ruth will of course be attracted to the commotion but become distracted by Billie.  No problem.

  40. DarkoNeko

    Roz isn’t big on trusting, eh.

    1. DarkoNeko

      And no, I haven’t forgotten a “h”

  41. KSClaw

    Go away Mary.

  42. Reaver

    You know the more angles I see Becky’s hair at…..

    I really fuckin love it, Willis I am in love with how you drew her hair in this strip!<3

  43. Kraken

    Interesting contrast to Joe, Joyce must know Joe wouldn’t ruin or crash a party if uninvited but might try to show up if he just heard fun stuff going on, while Mary would actively ruin or narc out any party so she has to be kept in the dark.

  44. prime_pm

    Roz’ hair isn’t puffy in the last panel.

    1. Bill

      Yes it is.  It’s just that Mary and Becky have both crowded in and obscured some of the puffiness.

  45. OmegaDez

    Sometimes, I wonder why Roz became such a minor character… She has a nice design.

    1. DarkoNeko

      She’s bidding her time… until..

  46. Bill

    Is there like an up-to-date ‘rooming chart’ that tells who is roommates with whom and which pairs of roommates share connecting baths?  We know Joyce and Sarah share the bath with Billie and Sal, and Dorothy and Sierra share the bath with Dina and Amber, but how about some of the others, like Walky and Danny and Ethan and Jacob.

    Something like this would, by the way, be an interesting and usefull addition to the Walkypedia.

    1. zach

      Danny and Ethan share the showers.

      Headcanon: Splush!

    2. Lord Stoneheart

      We know roommates are Joyce+Sarah, Billie+Sal, Amber+Dina, Sierra+Dorothy, Rachel+Other Rachel, Mary+Roz. (Actually the only one on the girls side who I don’t think we know the roommate of is Agatha). On the guys side there’s Mike+Walky, Joe+Danny, Ethan+Jacob (Possibly Ken+Arnold?). As far as half baths Joyce+Sarah and Billie+Sal are connected, and Amber+Dina and Dorothy+Sierra are connected. As RA Ruth has a single, and Carla has the other single. For the guys side the RA is probably the same guy as the nameless trekkie RA from the Walkyverse, though we only know that through an offhand remark from Ethan. I think that covers all the characters we know. (Oh and Marcie lives somewhere off campus)

  47. Bill

    Hey look everybody!!
    A Dumbing of Age quiz on Sporcle!!!

    1. Bill

      Oops …. let’s try that again.
      A Dumbing of Age quiz on Sporcle!!!

      1. Bill

        OK — cut-and-paste this link:
        http://www.sporcle.com/games/BossMonster/spider-car-is-not-an-answer

        1. Bill

          Cut-and-paste the above link — then, after ‘BossMonster/’ add the word ‘spider-car’ so that it reads ‘spider-car-is-not-an-answer’.
          And if this doesn’t work, then I give up.

  48. Bill

    Willis, is there some reason your website continues to delete the word ‘s-p-i-d-e-r-c-a-r’?

    1. JBento

      I could be wrong, (I came late to the webcomic and had to archive binge to catach up, so I skipped the comments on a lot of strips) but I believe it’s because some time ago people sort of went hogwild claiming that everyone and everything was the aforementioned’s super-hero’s secret identity in every strip, and Willis got fed up with it, so now there’s no, er, arachnomobile for anyone.

      1. JBento

        Why is there no Edit function? I have a typo on that post! A TYPOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!

        1. timemonkey

          And now everyone will see it!

      2. Deanatay

        At least it doesn’t become ‘bongomobile’.

  49. Animal

    After all the jacks are in their boxes,
    and the clowns have all gone to bed,
    you can hear happiness staggering on down the street,
    footprints dress in red.

    And the wind whispers Mary.

    A broom is drearily sweeping
    up the broken pieces of yesterday’s life.
    Somewhere a Queen is weeping,
    somewhere a King has no wife.

    And the wind it cries Mary.

    The traffic lights they turn blue tomorrow
    And shine their emptiness down on my bed,
    The tiny island sags downstream
    ‘Cos the life that they lived is dead.

    And the wind screams Mary.

    Will the wind ever remember
    The names it has blown in the past,
    And with this crutch, its old age and its wisdom
    It whispers, “No, this will be the last.”

    And The Wind Cries Mary.

  50. Jack

    Willis has been building up to this party for almost a month now. Anyone else got a really bad feeling about this?

    I am really hoping nobody dies.

    1. Spork

      I’m expecting the party to be very awkward and I’m afraid that it’ll happen.

  51. Bagge

    I dunno… Somehow I expected more from the commentator field when Roz and Becky finally met, given how much FORUM RAGE both of them have manged to inspire on their own. It seems like we have all mellowed down a bit the last month.

    Good riddance, I suppose.

    1. JBento

      I think everyone was readying their hatespews, but then Mary showed up, and that hatred soon dissipated before the loathing everyone has for her.

      1. No Name

        You don’t think Willis planned this, do you?

        1. JBento

          I wouldn’t put it past him. The PornLord is wise in the ways of the hatedom.

  52. Deanatay

    You know, if the person who decides room pairings were truly evil, he’d pair Mary and Sarah.

    It may not SEEM evil – they’re both misanthropes, both non-partiers who appreciate being left in peace and quiet. I’m sure they’d get along…

    At first…

    1. David M Willis

      I would *never* pair up Mary and Sarah in a room! Roomies? Them? Ha! Not in this universe, pal!

      1. J Kelly

        hi!

      2. Deanatay

        *sigh* they’ve been paired up together in a previous comic, then? I should have known… Damn you, irony (and Wills)!

        1. Kamino Neko

          Mary was the new Joyce.

        2. Mitsukara

          That’s a pretty raw deal.

    2. Smiling Cat

      Mary would constantly chastise Sarah about Other Jacob. Sarah would always wonder why Other Jacob was never where she remembered leaving it…

      1. Kamino Neko

        You think she’d touch it more than once, rather than using that one time to move it somewhere that she could publicly smash it?

        1. Smiling Cat

          No no, she wouldn’t smash it. If she did that she couldn’t keep chastising Sarah about it, or using it herself when Sarah wasn’t around. (Mary is a hypocrite.)

  53. Tenn

    Suddenly, Mary is voiced by Alan Rickman.

    “Misssss McIntyre… Trying to organize a party, are we? Ten points from Lesbiandor.”

  54. MiaKitty

    Am I the only one thinking ‘Excellent, Mary assumed Becky is enrolled even though she has never seen her before this past weekend. We are in the clear.’

    Becky, just keep going to classes with Joyce and pretend like you’re studying sometimes. You’ll be fiiiiiiine.

    1. bunivasal

      My friend’s roommate did that in college… except she pretended for everybody. Even my roommates! They didn’t realize she wasn’t actually a student until she stopped paying rent and they tried to get a stop put on her grades until she contributed… and there were no grades to stop.

  55. GollyGamma

    Roz is the best character in this strip. No doubt.

  56. The Wizard

    Random comment.

    1. Amazistool

      Random reply.

  57. Rheios

    Curse your alt text Willis! It beat me and everyone to the punch. A sick reversal of sentence structure to what Mike was doing to Joe’s face. (punching him to a beat. I am oh so very witty. *eyeroll*)

  58. Onion

    HOW ARE ALL THESE PEOPLE GOING TO FIT COMFORTABLY INTO A SINGLE ROOM

    Okay I just needed to get that off my chest.

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

*

*

*

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.