Although, to be accurate, it should be OLD roommate, otherwise we’re getting into Malaya’s childhood friends and that’s a rabbit hole no one wants to go down.
Jamie
Yeah, I was getting really confused trying to remember how Malaya was connected.
Doctor_Who
Meant to use ex-roommate, as that was in the Spaceballs quote. Messed it up slightly.
SebastainsTemple
space balls quote is “former roommate.” It doesn’t matter but I care.
Ah, time as old as time. Girl meet boy, girl hold boy hostage. Girl stabs girl. Girl hook up with girls brother.
Joking aside – while Amber’s love life is a clusterfudge of epic proportions, this is a very good way of addressing it. She tells Ethan what she feels and what’s going on. No freakouts or running away to be amazi-girl or anything.
As for what to do… I think she should buy Sal a “sorry I stabbed you”-cake.
That’s phrased a little awkwardly. How about this?
Girl meets boy, other girl holds boy hostage, girl stabs other girl, boy breaks up with girl, girl hooks up with other girl’s twin brother.
Actually, I’m not sure how much that helped.
I think we would need some sort of multicolored chart to make sense of it
TheStranger
Did somebody summon the Great Faz?
Michelle J. Caboose
Unfortunately, Faz is the chart-maker, meaning the chart would wind up being about his penis — and his desire to put it in anyone named on the chart. Possibly also would include his opinion calculation of the likelihood of it happening.
If this had been Something Positive, this would probably happen in tomorrow’s strip; because Dear Uncle Randy was once told something like “Most times, people doing things out of spite is stupid, but you’ve turned it into f***ing performance art”.
Mind you, the times Uncle Randy’s done something in his comic out of spite, the results are usually glorious to behold. Not many people have that gift.
Because we’ve somehow reached the conclusion that Amber is completely at fault and Sal’s never done anything wrong.
Not quite sure how or when that happened.
Sal should definitely apologize for the robbery but Bagge’s specifically referring to the stabbing here. Sal can’t apologize for stabbing Amber because so far as we know, she’s never done it.
Anyone else think it’s strange that the hostage incident gave Amber an anxiety condition and extreme trauma whereas Ethan seems to have gotten away completely unscathed despite the fact that he was the one actually taken hostage? Just seems weird.
I’m just saying, dude literally got held hostage with a knife and he’s like never said anything about it.
Agemegos
There are dimensions of personality and circumstances that modulate reactions to acute stress: personality, ego, social connectedness, behavioural skills, cultural views, …. And then there is dropping acute stress down like a fake cherry on top of a big creamy sundae of chronic stress.
Remember how Amber’s father reacted to the situation and treated her in its wake — that adds more layers of emotional trauma than a German chocolate cake.
As horrible as Ethan’s parents (particularly his mom) have been about his sexual orientation, we haven’t seen any indication that they weren’t supportive in the wake of the hostage crisis. I get the sense that Ethan was their golden boy until they found out he was gay.
It’s not a matter of being “well adjusted”. It just didn’t effect him as badly. Luck of the draw would be enough to account for something like that, but it could also have been that for Ethan, it was all over before it really registered that his life was in danger, while Amber was able to actually see the knife and Sal’s face, and she wanted to do something but didn’t know what, and was too scared to do anything even if she had.
But when it comes down to it could’ve been equally traumatic for both of them, and still had different effects in the long run
Inahc
Yeah, sometimes you get lucky. Sometimes you think you got lucky, and five years later the feelings show up.
We don’t actually know anything about how Ethan was treated after the incident or how he felt about it at all because it’s almost never been discussed. That’s what I find weird, that it’s this huge turning point for Amber’s character but seems almost irrelevant to Ethan’s.
Bladeglory
I’m saying that even if Ethan didn’t get therapy, it’s still better than what we know Amber got.
Kinoko
This is five years after the fact, too. Maybe Ethan was shaken up by it at first, too, but learned to move on and let it go? Amber’s clearly carried it with her and let it fester instead.
While the robbery was certainly terrifying in and of itself, I think the stabbing was far moreso. I think that was her first huge hint of what can happen when she snaps, especially with her father goading her like that. Without it, it might not have been QUITE as traumatizing. Add in that she had anxiety already and Ethan probably got therapy, plus Ethan seems less inclined to ruminate on things and more inclined to moving on (unless we’re dealing with nerd fights but that’s different), and I don’t think it’s surprising.
Well, “less inclined to ruminate than Amber” is a low bar, but sure. I think you’ve got it for the most part. Ethan was a complete non-actor in the situation, but Amber discovered a part of herself she hated and has blatantly never been able to deal with it.
PTSD generally happens when you can’t process it normally. That’s why there’s a relatively small, but extant, number of people who get PTSD from things like natural disasters or being the victim of a nonviolent crime, which people are usually able to access help and support for, but the rates skyrocket for domestic abuse and child abuse (because those things by definition tend to remove your access to support) and sexual assault (because our society is so monstrously fucking bad at not making things worse).
Hell, it’s why surviving someone trying to murder you is statistically less likely to scar you for life than your parents intentionally teaching you you’re useless. Everyone is different and every life and experience is different, but PTSD comes from not being able to heal.
Add another person that strongly shares this opinion. If Blaine hadn’t been a generally abusive asshole, and in particular being a real shithead after the situation, things would very likely have been much, much better for Amber.
And while Ethan’s mother is still generally in the “bad parents of DOA characters” camp, I think it’s not an unrealistic assumption that she at least would mainly be happy and relieved that her son was safe; and that she would have been expressing properly how that was the most important thing.
Regalli
Yeah, Naomi’s love is conditional, but that’s sadly still a step up from ‘active malice’. She’s a shitty parent but at least when it doesn’t pertain to his sexuality, she cares about his wellbeing.
I don’t think the incident gave Amber the condition, though. In the flashbacks dating to before the stabbing incident, we see some pretty solid evidence that Amber *already* had the condition—isn’t that why she was riding with Blaine in the first place, instead of on the bus with everyone else? If she hadn’t already had the condition, she wouldn’t have been at the gas station in the first place—and neither would Ethan. So she was already vulnerable before Sal even entered the picture. So she took it harder than Ethan did.
226 thoughts on “Pleasingly”
AnvilPro
Ethan tries his best, darn it
inqntrol
Unfortunately for both of them lick is not on their side.
Irredentist
The lick is strong with this one
Jamie
Is this good lick or bad lick?
Freemage
It’s the Devil’s Lick.
…
…
Band name! Dibs!
All-Purpose Guru
That’s the name of my Metallica cover band.
Damn, I’m old.
Batman
Nah ya not I used to know Blitzkrieg. I have actually fell asleep at one of their practice seasons.
Bunnyfufu
IM DEAD!
Doctor_Who
“I am your hostage taker’s roommate’s childhood friend’s new girlfriend.”
“What does that make us?”
“Absolutely nothing, which is what you are about to become.”
Lumino
Ethan has gone from suck to blow!
LazerWulf
Does that track?
“I am your hostage taker’s (Sal) roommate’s (Billy) childhood friend’s (Walky) new girlfriend (Amber).”
Yup. Sorry, please continue
LazerWulf
Although, to be accurate, it should be OLD roommate, otherwise we’re getting into Malaya’s childhood friends and that’s a rabbit hole no one wants to go down.
Jamie
Yeah, I was getting really confused trying to remember how Malaya was connected.
Doctor_Who
Meant to use ex-roommate, as that was in the Spaceballs quote. Messed it up slightly.
SebastainsTemple
space balls quote is “former roommate.” It doesn’t matter but I care.
Keulen
They’ve gone to plaid!
OnyxIdol
It’s always good to read a Spaceballs reference.
Stephen Bierce
*plays Sting’s “Love Is Stronger Than Justice” on the hacked Muzak–which has somehow achieved full operational capability again!*
Icalasari
Eh, still hit it
Batman
With a bus.
Bagge
Ah, time as old as time. Girl meet boy, girl hold boy hostage. Girl stabs girl. Girl hook up with girls brother.
Joking aside – while Amber’s love life is a clusterfudge of epic proportions, this is a very good way of addressing it. She tells Ethan what she feels and what’s going on. No freakouts or running away to be amazi-girl or anything.
As for what to do… I think she should buy Sal a “sorry I stabbed you”-cake.
Bagge
TALE as old as time, darnit!
AndieStardust
time as old as time…..song as old as song. bittersweet and strange, finding you are strange, learning you can’t song.
walky and the cheese
(tried too hard, but I’m not going to erase it, i spent five minutes on this dammit! someone please do better than i did)
Bagge
Not going to try to outdo that – that was awesome!
BarerMender
Time as old as time; time that old song sing. Count sweet time by the strange old oak whose branches sing the years.
Shameless
I laughed so hard at this. I can’t do better, and I write filks and parody consistently. BRAVO!
RicardtheDragoon
That’s phrased a little awkwardly. How about this?
Girl meets boy, other girl holds boy hostage, girl stabs other girl, boy breaks up with girl, girl hooks up with other girl’s twin brother.
Actually, I’m not sure how much that helped.
Bagge
I think we would need some sort of multicolored chart to make sense of it
TheStranger
Did somebody summon the Great Faz?
Michelle J. Caboose
Unfortunately, Faz is the chart-maker, meaning the chart would wind up being about his penis — and his desire to put it in anyone named on the chart. Possibly also would include his
opinioncalculation of the likelihood of it happening.Bagge
Can you imagine how obnoxious a storyline about Faz trying to ‘woo’ Amber would be.
thejeff
That would be ridiculous. Willis would never do something like that.
Emperor Norton II
If this had been Something Positive, this would probably happen in tomorrow’s strip; because Dear Uncle Randy was once told something like “Most times, people doing things out of spite is stupid, but you’ve turned it into f***ing performance art”.
Mind you, the times Uncle Randy’s done something in his comic out of spite, the results are usually glorious to behold. Not many people have that gift.
Bagge
Wasn’t that the story about how Malaya was created?
showler
Ethan’s entire life deciphering Transformers continuity has prepared him for this day.
Dean
Amber shouldn’t offer to cut the cake, though.
Kinoko
I giggle-snorted at this. Thank you.
Felian
Why does Amber have to apologize to Sal and not rather the other way around?!
thejeff
Because we’ve somehow reached the conclusion that Amber is completely at fault and Sal’s never done anything wrong.
Not quite sure how or when that happened.
BBCC
Sal should definitely apologize for the robbery but Bagge’s specifically referring to the stabbing here. Sal can’t apologize for stabbing Amber because so far as we know, she’s never done it.
David
A “sorry I stabbed you” cake will not do. She’ll need to play the bass in the band Sal is going to sing in. And she better learn to be good.
Emily
FYI Willis, tags say Ethan and Walky instead of Ethan and Amber
Arawn
Well, they say you are what you eat…
Keulen
Ethan’s actually talking with Walky disguised as Amber somehow?
David
What’s one more personality?
Irredentist
Anyone else think it’s strange that the hostage incident gave Amber an anxiety condition and extreme trauma whereas Ethan seems to have gotten away completely unscathed despite the fact that he was the one actually taken hostage? Just seems weird.
Viktoria
Nah, some people handle trauma very differently from each other.
I was going to make this longer, but really, that’s all there is to it.
Irredentist
I’m just saying, dude literally got held hostage with a knife and he’s like never said anything about it.
Agemegos
There are dimensions of personality and circumstances that modulate reactions to acute stress: personality, ego, social connectedness, behavioural skills, cultural views, …. And then there is dropping acute stress down like a fake cherry on top of a big creamy sundae of chronic stress.
Makkabee
Remember how Amber’s father reacted to the situation and treated her in its wake — that adds more layers of emotional trauma than a German chocolate cake.
As horrible as Ethan’s parents (particularly his mom) have been about his sexual orientation, we haven’t seen any indication that they weren’t supportive in the wake of the hostage crisis. I get the sense that Ethan was their golden boy until they found out he was gay.
missilentmurmur
what is a german chocolate cake like?
segnosaur
After you eat it, you feel like having some polish sausage, and french wine.
You’d also like some British fish and chips and some Russian Vodka but find that the kitchen was closed.
Fart Captor
Not really. She already had the anxiety and not everyone responds to trauma the same way
Irredentist
Well sure but you’d think he’d be at least a little put off by it. Maybe he’s just extraordinarily well adjusted.
Fart Captor
It’s not a matter of being “well adjusted”. It just didn’t effect him as badly. Luck of the draw would be enough to account for something like that, but it could also have been that for Ethan, it was all over before it really registered that his life was in danger, while Amber was able to actually see the knife and Sal’s face, and she wanted to do something but didn’t know what, and was too scared to do anything even if she had.
But when it comes down to it could’ve been equally traumatic for both of them, and still had different effects in the long run
Inahc
Yeah, sometimes you get lucky. Sometimes you think you got lucky, and five years later the feelings show up.
Bladeglory
Nah. Amber already had anxiety and social issues. Ethan probably got therapy while Amber got anti-therapy.
Ethan: “Everyone wanted Amber in therapy, but her dad refused. He wanted self defense classes.”
As usual, Blaine wins the Father of the Year award.
Blaine: “Just some stupid punk with a knife. A knife. She took your little friend and you hid in a corner and did nothing. Why am I not surprised.”
Irredentist
We don’t actually know anything about how Ethan was treated after the incident or how he felt about it at all because it’s almost never been discussed. That’s what I find weird, that it’s this huge turning point for Amber’s character but seems almost irrelevant to Ethan’s.
Bladeglory
I’m saying that even if Ethan didn’t get therapy, it’s still better than what we know Amber got.
Kinoko
This is five years after the fact, too. Maybe Ethan was shaken up by it at first, too, but learned to move on and let it go? Amber’s clearly carried it with her and let it fester instead.
BBCC
While the robbery was certainly terrifying in and of itself, I think the stabbing was far moreso. I think that was her first huge hint of what can happen when she snaps, especially with her father goading her like that. Without it, it might not have been QUITE as traumatizing. Add in that she had anxiety already and Ethan probably got therapy, plus Ethan seems less inclined to ruminate on things and more inclined to moving on (unless we’re dealing with nerd fights but that’s different), and I don’t think it’s surprising.
Jamie
Well, “less inclined to ruminate than Amber” is a low bar, but sure. I think you’ve got it for the most part. Ethan was a complete non-actor in the situation, but Amber discovered a part of herself she hated and has blatantly never been able to deal with it.
not someone else
PTSD generally happens when you can’t process it normally. That’s why there’s a relatively small, but extant, number of people who get PTSD from things like natural disasters or being the victim of a nonviolent crime, which people are usually able to access help and support for, but the rates skyrocket for domestic abuse and child abuse (because those things by definition tend to remove your access to support) and sexual assault (because our society is so monstrously fucking bad at not making things worse).
Hell, it’s why surviving someone trying to murder you is statistically less likely to scar you for life than your parents intentionally teaching you you’re useless. Everyone is different and every life and experience is different, but PTSD comes from not being able to heal.
Irredentist
Makes sense.
not someone else
…To put a finer point on it, now that i think about it:
Sal holding up the store was scary, but not the core of the trauna. Amber being told it was her fault, lashing out, and stabbing someone, though?
Think about what part of herself she hates more. It’s her anger (Amber), not the anxiety and reluctance to act (Amber).
BarerMender
It wasn’t so much the hostage situation that traumatized Amber as her father’s brutal shaming and what it drove her to do.
Needfuldoer
That’s what I got from it. Blaine’s anti-support afterward was the tipping point.
Emperor Norton II
Add another person that strongly shares this opinion. If Blaine hadn’t been a generally abusive asshole, and in particular being a real shithead after the situation, things would very likely have been much, much better for Amber.
And while Ethan’s mother is still generally in the “bad parents of DOA characters” camp, I think it’s not an unrealistic assumption that she at least would mainly be happy and relieved that her son was safe; and that she would have been expressing properly how that was the most important thing.
Regalli
Yeah, Naomi’s love is conditional, but that’s sadly still a step up from ‘active malice’. She’s a shitty parent but at least when it doesn’t pertain to his sexuality, she cares about his wellbeing.
Jon Rich
I don’t think the incident gave Amber the condition, though. In the flashbacks dating to before the stabbing incident, we see some pretty solid evidence that Amber *already* had the condition—isn’t that why she was riding with Blaine in the first place, instead of on the bus with everyone else? If she hadn’t already had the condition, she wouldn’t have been at the gas station in the first place—and neither would Ethan. So she was already vulnerable before Sal even entered the picture. So she took it harder than Ethan did.
FacelessDeviant