251

Condition
Posted on September 9, 2011 by David M Willis
Tomorrow is Dumbing of Age's first anniversary, so you get a Saturday strip!  It's not gonna be a special strip or anything, just what would have been the next strip anyway, but, woo, Saturday strip! See y'all tomorrow, for reals.

251 thoughts on “Condition”

  1. Jen Aside

    Those ain’t the apples, Joyce…

    1. Rikushadow5

      The apple is my penis?

      1. Fauxlosopher

        This appeared as a moral dilemma…

        1. Hanii Puppy

          …’Cause at first, it was weird, I swore to eliminate…

        2. Clay

          … the worst of the plague that devours humanity?

        3. TheGrammarLegionary

          It’s true, I was vague on the how, so how can it be…

        4. Scott M

          …that you have shown me the light?

          I know, this is half a year old already (and the comic’s more), but that phrase was just hanging there. 😉

      2. Sili

        Then what’s the hammer?

        1. fizzywafflezsuperstore

          The hammer is the apple.

    2. wandering meme

      Oh…this can only end in tears…

      1. David Herbert

        Hopefully she’ll invite Billie instead.

        1. Björn

          Or Sal.

  2. MM

    Oh, Joyce. I mean, I’d totally play Apples to Apples with her (and no, that’s not innuendo), but Dorothy may need to track down Billie instead.

    1. hotsauce

      It is now!

      1. MM

        Damn this Joe gravatar.

  3. Jetpack Monkey

    Apples to Apples really is the best.

    1. Undrave

      EFF YEAH!!!

    2. MichaelHaneline

      APPLES TO APPLES! I’ve misjudged Joyce this whole time! She really IS cool!

    3. Croaxleigh

      Truth.

    4. arjay2813

      the first, and so far only time i’ve played Apples to Apples was with some friends, at first it was okay, then it got boringish, then everyone got drunk enough that it was awesome (nice Mike drunk)

    5. fizzywafflezsuperstore

      But what about CAH

      1. fizzywafflezsuperstore

        Woot!
        I did a HTML

  4. taekwondogirl

    Joyce parties sound like the parties I go to… 😐

    1. NCP19

      What’s wrong with Sprite and Apples to Apples parties?

      1. Plasma Mongoose

        What about the Mountain Dew and Uno? 😛

        1. John

          Sunkist and Catan.

          Though Dew will do in a pinch.

        2. Daeva

          Mello Yello and Munchkin?

        3. Izzy

          sierra mist and Blackjack!

        4. Bill M.

          Dr. Pepper and Bunco!

        5. Shade

          Coca-Cola and DnD!

        6. Plasma Mongoose

          I always heard it is supposed to be Jolt Cola with DnD.

        7. George

          Cream soda and World of Warcraft!

        8. Corvid

          Vault and Ticket to Ride!

        9. Hannover Fist

          Four Loco and Warhammer 40K

        10. Boringamus

          Did you say Mello Yello and Munchkin?
          Holy crap, BEST PARTY EVER.

        11. Locke

          Root Beer and Risk

        12. Jamal K.

          Pfft… Root beer and monopoly…. then again, root beer goes with ANYTHING >_>

        13. lauren

          Kool-Aid and Pass-Out

          (And no, that wasn’t to be funny, that’s actually what my friends and I did when we were about elementary school age.)

        14. Plasma Mongoose

          Didn’t they play that in Jonestown?

        15. lauren

          Good point. But I bet they didn’t have Purplesaurus Rex

        16. FlyingFish

          Guinness and Guillotine.

        17. Valdrax

          Double Cola and Agricola.

        18. Fauxlosopher

          All of these options at the same time.

        19. Random Webcomics Junkie

          Win.

        20. wandering meme

          Mountain dew = burning pee. Also, it goes better with xbox360.

          In which case Amber would totally be there!

        21. nothri

          Drinking and making fun of bad movies is the perfect saturday night.

        22. Bill M.

          That Billie avatar makes me think that’s her typical Saturday night…

        23. TheCerpent

          I once got a hangover from drinking Mountain Dew. Worst hangover I ever had. Dry mouth, gritty eyelids, splitting headache…

      2. Thor

        Anyone who doesn’t like Sprite and Apples To Apples is a godless Communist, and not the good kind!

        1. Kirby

          And this comment makes me suddenly wish there’s a janitor somewhere on campus that looks suspiciously like Ronald Reagan. >_>

        2. Hannover Fist

          Or Scruffy.
          http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WekY-KC0pVA&feature=related

        3. Daeva

          Both of them, and they’re BEST PALS.

      3. taekwondogirl

        Nothing I thought, but I don’t want to be compared to Joyce until she gets some character progression. :p

    2. Jackson

      Ain’t no party like a Joyce Brown party ’cause a Joyce Brown party got boardgaaaames!

  5. Mkvenner

    Bring her. >:)

  6. Plasma Mongoose

    How do you like THOSE apples Dotty?

    1. Rikushadow5

      *rimshot*

      1. Plasma Mongoose

        RIMSHOT!!

  7. Doctor_Who

    I’d question why she has those things with her in class, but the only possible answer is “It’s Joyce.”

    1. tdm88

      Yeah was she just…carrying those things around in her bookbag? Just in case?

      1. Plasma Mongoose

        Maybe Joyce was a Girl Guide; ALWAYS PREPARED!

      2. Wizard

        Joyce is just a party animal.

  8. Sandimas

    Good for Joyce- both of those things are important at college parties!

    … of course they both need gin added first, and Joyce probably isn’t anticipating that…

    1. Jacob

      But if you put gin in apples to apples, the cards would get soggy!

      1. milk experiment

        In my head, your comment was in Joyce’s voice. 🙂

  9. Ragnal

    Yeah, I totally read that last panel in Pinky Pie’s voice.

    CONFOUND THIS FANDOM.

    1. Andy

      What has been heard cannot be unheard! Joyce will forever sound like Pinkie Pie!

      …Who’s Twilight Sparkle, then? Danny?

      1. Cha

        Dorothy, duh!
        Sal is Applejack because ACCENT. Fluttershy is Dina, Rainbow Dash…Roz/Robin, and Rarity- well, I don’t think there’s anyone (yet) in DoA or SP! who really works for Rarity.

        /ramble

        1. Rikushadow5

          Sal = Applejack.

          This is canon now.

        2. James Rye

          ^I agree.

          I´m just waiting for the strip to show that Walky despite dislinking all the *girly* stuff is actually a closet brony. XD

        3. Historyman68

          Walky is clearly Spike.
          Is Joyce’s friend from home Princess Celestia?

        4. Kintrex

          Wasn’t that ALREADY shown?

        5. MM

          No, that was Danny.

    2. Starline

      ME TOO. Damn those ponies.

      1. Jillian

        FANART. Now. ALL OF YOU GO.

    3. Undrave

      OH man Pinkie would ROCK at Apple to Apple! She’d be hard to beat! Plus I’m sure they got that game over at the Sweet Apple Acres farm.

      1. Ragnal

        “Consarnit, Pinkie Pie, ya beat us again!”
        “Eeeeeeeeeeyup.”

  10. The Sound Defense

    I was trying to think of a comment, but I just let out a huge sigh instead. Joyce, Joyce, Joyce.

  11. Shay

    …… it’s going to be a sex toy party, isn’t it?

    1. Plasma Mongoose

      Just what Joyce needs. 😀

    2. Undrave

      Oh that would be comedic gold!

      1. Rikushadow5

        Remember the “Hair Curlers” back in the original ‘verse?

    3. Charles RB

      It’s either a sex toy party or it’s _exactly_ the sort of party Joyce thinks it is & Roz has a side to her we don’t know about…

      But probably the first one

    4. Bill M.

      I doubt it. Remember, Dorothy would need to track Roz down at the party to get the interview. In most parties like that, the hostess keeps it to one big room.

      1. Bill M.

        I wish I could remove my previous comment. I just realized what party it is. It’s her big sis’ “Value of Family” event. Remember, she promised to kiss girls on stage if she went.

  12. meanderling

    I really wonder what it’s like to play Apples to Apples with someone with a *clean* mind…

    1. artemi

      That… would actually be a totally foreign experience for me. Good call!

    2. insomniac

      That’s just craziness.

      Wait. Do you mean “clean mind” like “not obsessed with sex” or like “sober?”

      Either way. Madness.

    3. Corvid

      The Helen Keller card is the only possible winner here.

  13. Ridureyu

    Joe: “One more condition. FIlm a sex tape. With Joyce.”

    Mike: “And send it to her parents.”

    1. Plasma Mongoose

      I approve this endeavour.

  14. Andy

    Is anyone else rather disturbed by what Roz is doing here?

    1. Daeva

      Meh, a little bit. I’m still trying to decide whether she’s being arrogant or simply inviting here…

    2. Ridureyu

      Well, she’s not perfect. Roz may have some good points, but she’s teetering dangerously close to “All others must be converted to my lifestyle!”

      Which means that she, like everybody else in this comic, certainly has faults. It’s nice not seeing a clear author-avatar-of-perfection, isn’t it?

      1. Kep

        I wouldn’t say she’s trying to CONVERT her… I think she’s just trying to give Dorothy a taste of what her life is like. Dorothy’s obviously a bit grounded, and she may not know what she likes until she tries it. And you know what, if she decides she doesn’t like it, I bet Roz would just shrug it off and say “Okay, you tried. So, interview?”

    3. wandering meme

      More than a little. Should be ok though, as long as joyce isn’t invited…

      …gonna be a shame about that.

    4. Charles RB

      I’m assuming Roz just wants to see if Dorothy can “get it” (yo yo) before she opens up. But the “out of your shell” comment is a telling one, cos has Dorothy actually been in a shell? Roz just seems to be assuming that one

      1. Andy

        It’s not necessarily a bad assumption, though, given Dorothy’s judging of Roz. On the other hand, judgement is not always a conscious thing indicating someone is in a shell.

        1. Random Webcomics Junkie

          The mere fact that it’s NOT conscious, that it didn’t even occur to Dorothy to see it in any other way, is a bit telling. I don’t think Roz is far off in thinking that Dorothy’s views are probably mostly mainstream and unexamined.

  15. Bickendan

    Joyce… :ohboy:

    1. Bickendan

      Fun fact: Using bbs code for smileys here gives me fail x.x

      1. Cha

        HTML is what you have to use here. (I always miss BBCode here…)

  16. Scoot

    Oh Joyce <3

  17. Pivitor

    I’m 24 and I think Joyce’s party sounds like a lot more fun. Just me though.

    1. iSaidCandleja-

      Both can be fun at any age, depending on who else is at the party. I know I’d like to play apples2apples with Joe and Mike.

      1. Fauxlosopher

        Not everyone has to get hammered. Back before I was 21, I was the party sober dude, and the house rule was to not do anything I said not to do, because I was sober and therefore the best measure of whether or not they’d regret something the next day.

        Because of that experience, I never pressure anyone to get slashed. If they want to be sober, that’s fine with me, because they get what they want and they can keep me from being a doucherocket.

        Joyce would be ideal if she didn’t have that thing about… Hanky-Panky, was it? And everything else that ever was or will be an affront before God? Make out with a dude in the back of his girlfriends car while she’s driving ONE TIME and you just never live it down….

      2. Valdrax

        I doubt Roz’s party would be as good for the 10 and under crowd, though.

  18. SDHero

    I think this is the best punchline of a DoA strip to date. I seriously laughed uncontrollably for a minute or two..

  19. Daeva

    Huzzuhbuh–how the–Where did she get those!?

  20. iSaidCandleja-

    I advise all college freshmen to go to their first party as Jane Goodall. Otherwise you might do something you’ll regret, and that can just be awkward. Not as awkward as the hotel room after prom, but close.

    1. Kernanator

      Yeah, well, nothing could be more awkward than that.

      1. Corlanthis

        My “Hotel Room After Prom” consisted of myself, my friends, and Risk.

        …and our dates, going “Wait..what?”

        1. Kernanator

          Sounds like a fun, but awkward, time.

  21. NF

    Yes yes yes!!!

  22. Janette

    Joyce sure knows how to party it up!

    Well, that’s how I do it.

  23. Cha

    …I think Dorothy needs to hunt down Billie. But I have the funny feeling she’s gonna grab Joe instead, because she knows for sure that he’ll come. Or maybe she’ll wind up taking them both.

    Gotta admit, Joyce at a party would be hysterical. (And Apples to Apples is the best game ever… I once got a card that said “Leather and Lace” and we couldn’t stop laughing, because I got “Rough and Ready” with that card. XDDD

    1. Fauxlosopher

      It’d be Billy’s old stomping grounds. She’d fit right in, and could probably give Dorothy pointers on A)avoiding d-bags and B)dressing right.

  24. Wackd

    For some reason, the first time I read this strip I thought Dorothy was Leslie.

    I need to start sleeping more.

    1. ryan

      /envisions composite dorothy

  25. Teowulf

    Joyce reminds me of myself my freshman year. Though I wasn’t so naive (I just really liked Sprite and Apples to Apples. Still do).

  26. Jimmy

    Aw man I would actually rather go to Joyce’s party with Apples to Apples. I love that game! I don’t know if that’s funny or sad.

    1. Digidestined of Trust (Tim)

      It is an awesome game! It’s the only game I really know that has both the original version and a Bible version.

      1. KJ

        What about Settlers of Canaan? (Which is what I always called the original version anyway.)

        1. Ancestral Hamster

          Wait, Settlers of Catan has a Bible version? (Checks BGG and is relieved to find its a joke.)

          Anyway, I prefer playing Settlers with the Cities and Knights expansion.
          http://www.boardgamegeek.com/boardgameexpansion/926/catan-cities-knights

          And for those people (like me) who have never heard of Apples to Apples: http://www.boardgamegeek.com/boardgame/74/apples-to-apples

        2. Valdrax

          It’s not a joke. “Settlers of Canaan” is real.
          There’s also a Mormon variant, “Settlers of Zarahemla.”

          I’ve seen both in stores before and debated buying them to see if the mechanics were any different. Both can be found (with detailed pictures) on Board Game Geek.

          FYI, there’s also a Biblical variant of “Carcassonne” called “Ark of the Covenant.”

        3. Ancestral Hamster

          Okay, I stand corrected. They are listed down at the bottom under “Licensed Spin-offs”.

      2. Daibhid C

        Guess which version Joyce has?

    2. Tobias

      Apples to Apples is indeed awesome- I’d take Joyce’s party over Roz’s any day.

  27. Digidestined of Trust (Tim)

    Oh man, Joyce, she has no idea….. *Trying to be a voice in Joyce’s head* Don’t do it Joyce! It’s not what you think!

    1. Daeva

      Do it, Joyce! Those people NEED to realize the glory of Apples to Apples!

  28. Romanticide

    This will be fun…
    I never say no to sprite… but apples to apples… never heard of it O.o

    1. Random Webcomics Junkie

      Best party card game that doesn’t involve getting naked. Well, usually it doesn’t.

  29. Digidestined of Trust (Tim)

    0 o 0 Never heard of Apples to Apples?!?! It’s only the funniest game in existence.

    1. Plasma Mongoose

      I have near heard of it either.

      1. wandering meme

        I’m gonna look it up on wikipedia. And xbox live.

    2. Romanticide

      Nop, never, another posibility is that in spanish it has another name though… but I doubt it.

  30. begbert2

    Unless this party is a political rally, Roz looks to be shooting herself in the foot. Unless she *wants* Dorothy to write about “Roz, the drunken slutty party girl” rather than “Roz, who’s making a considered political counterstatement against the ideology her sister is pretending at”.

    1. artemi

      Oh ye of little faith, you can’t possibly believe that after all this set up Willis is going to go all PREDICTABLE on us, do you?

      Of course, this could be the time for Willis to go all out on the fan-service, too… *shrug*

      1. artemi

        Though… upon further thought (and a bottle of booze later), I wonder if Roz is planning on going to the Robin-thing after all.

        Crazy little sister showing up to a family friendly even with her two ‘lesbian’ friends…?

        Unlikely, i suppose.

        1. Wix

          … I predict that the judging girl might end up in a bed with somebody she doesn’t know, drunk and confused.

    2. iSaidCandleja-

      All that’s needed is a normal party sponsored by a group with political interest. GLAAD might be too obvious of a choice, but I suspect it is whatever group that produces condom hats.

    3. Shifty

      Why do you automatically assume she’s going to be a drunk slut party girl? Roz is a slut, but there’s nothing to say she’s drinks or that she’s going to be acting like and over the top sex-fiend. Remember, her big schtick is that she believes in sexual rights and safe sex. She might end up passing out condoms to those who intend to have sex and hang out with friends.

      1. Plasma Mongoose

        *imagines condom parties disturbingly similar to being like Tupperware parties*

  31. T Campbell

    Oh yeah. This can’t miss.

    1. Thor

      I can’t tell if you are being sarcastic or sincere, and why in either case.

  32. shoeboxjeddy

    And here’s where Dorothy discovers she LOVES partying. Bye bye Harvard! 🙂

    1. Daeva

      Nonono, y’see, Dorothy’s too driven to let Harvard slip out of her grasp THAT easily.

      With her newfound appreciation for partying, she’ll just study all the harder WHILE she parties, and when she gets into Harvard, she’ll set about turning it into the global #1 party university!

      1. shoeboxjeddy

        Nah, when focused people implode, they implode BIG. Ruth in Roomies style. I have hopes Willis does use this to put a crack in Dorothy’s armor because I don’t find her interesting at all yet. No I’m not saying she has to be an alky for me to find her interesting, just that a weakness or too (other than being bad at breaking up with people) would be nice.

        1. Daibhid C

          Her armour *is* her weakness — she’s as unable to connect with her fellow students as all the others.

      2. G.S.Mercs

        I might be wrong, but I was pretty dang sure Dorothy had her ehart set on Yale, not Harvard…

    2. Charles RB

      Or she finds out she really hates parties but does have a crippling addiction to Apples to Apples

  33. Doom Shepherd

    Socialize?!?

    “This isn’t an interview. This is blackmail.”

  34. Dierna

    Yay sprite!!! But what the heck is Apples to Apples??? Some sort of board game???

    And that Sprite looks like it’s Sprite Zero… *lol*

    1. Noel Schornhorst

      Apples to Apples is a great card game. It’s incredible fun.

      Also, is it bad that Joyce’s idea of a party *always* appeals to me far more than Roz’s?

      1. iSaidCandleja-

        I wouldn’t call it a card game, it is more of a word game that uses cards.

        1. Noel Schornhorst

          You’re right, of course. I haven’t played in awhile– a problem that will hopefully be remedied soon! 😀

      2. Scotty Van

        Joyce’s idea of a party actually meshes well with that of MANY sex-positive people I know. 🙂

    2. Lee

      Basically, each participant gets maybe seven cards, and each have a noun, like “The electric chair” or “Hillary Clinton.” And then a card with an adjective is put in the middle, like “thoughtful,” or “shiny,” and you put down whichever noun is best described by that word? And the judge for that round picks their favorite one.

      It’s very fun. I think I would enjoy a party hosted by Joyce.

      1. artemi

        The trick to the game is that since the judge is the one which decides the winning card, it changes completely depending on who’s judging and what mental state they are currently in. Some people want stuff that fits correctly, like “Apple” and “red”. Others want random stuff like “Black Hole” and “cuddly”.

        Around here, we have to near ban the celebrity people; Hitler always come up with some good descriptions.

        1. TheCerpent

          Sean Connery always wins. Always.

        2. Scotty Van

          Connery? Heh. Every game I’ve ever played has used “Helen Keller” (if the deck has it) as the official game-ender, because nothing can beat it and nothing can top it.

        3. Bill M.

          Whenever I play, I always end up having used my ideal card 3 rounds ago when I had nothing that really matched in my hand, or getting the ideal match right afterwards.

  35. Daggart

    …It’s Amway, isn’t it?

  36. Kernanator

    Oh man, this is going to be like a train wreck. With blackjack! And hookers!

    1. Plasma Mongoose

      A very strange train wreck indeed…

      1. Kernanator

        Exactly.

    2. ryan

      that sounds like twin peaks

      1. Plasma Mongoose

        When I think of Twin Peaks, I think Glad Wrap.

  37. Lee

    Woah, it doesn’t feel like this strip has been going for a year already.

    Also, no white button up shirts at Roz’s sexy party? 🙁 Aww.

  38. Locke

    What could possibly go wrong?

  39. Honey-Flash

    Oh… Joyce, I don’t think it’s that kind of party, dear…

  40. turkishproverb

    Am I the only one who wants Joyce to wake up with Robin? Just for the WTF moment?

    1. artemi

      “Breaking News: Local Gender Studies Teacher Murders Student!”

    2. Fauxlosopher

      I could see this happening. Unfortunately, it would break Joyce in the absolute worst way. And it would only happen by way of mixed drinks. Like being told a White Russian is chocolate milk.

  41. Twinsnake

    Roz knows how to drive a hard bargain.
    And oh boy is Joyce in for a schocker.

    1. artemi

      By a shocker, do you mean The Shocker?

      …oh dear…

      1. shoeboxjeddy

        Oh God, not a 2nd tier Spider-Man villain!

      2. Romanticide

        *dies*

  42. Beacon

    I don’t think this is your kind of party, Joyce.

    PS: Has the Shortpacked site been crashing anyone else’s browser the past couple days?

    1. Wix

      It did to mine earlier on a single visit, and it’s because everybody’s going to the website (I think.) Seriously, the last few comics have been so… So very ‘ZOMG’ that everybody is going to the page multiple times a day. Last I saw, he’s pushed past 700 (though my memory might be fuzzy) comments on Shortpacked within the last few hours alone.

  43. jay

    apples to apples parties are the best parties

    especially if there’s pot

  44. Steven

    Joyce goes around happily assuming other people follow at least the same basic groundline of the world she lives in and every other comment says “I really hate Joyce here.” Roz basically deals out ultimatums to people telling that they’re going to see her world and they’re going to have to change themselves to do it, and not a peep.

    1. artemi

      …The hell? Go, right now, and hit Ctrl + F, type ‘Joyce’, and go down the list.

      The primary comment on this ENTIRE PAGE is “I Love Apples to Apples!”.

      I… don’t even see where you are getting this idea.

      1. Steven

        Not this comic, all the others were Joyce expresses her views.

      2. Plasma Mongoose

        Artemi, I must thank you for that Ctrl + F thing, I never knew about that feature before now, it would make locating things so much easier.

    2. shoeboxjeddy

      To be fair to Roz, she doesn’t say that Dorothy has to change. Instead, she says she will have to attend a party, participate in the activities present at said party, and dress appropriately. Dorothy could easily do all of those things, and then write a scathing article the next day, her perspective completely unaltered. Your histrionics are so unnecessary.

      1. Steven

        She has to compromise herself, temporarily, in order for Roz to accept her at her party. At the same time she says “don’t judge me.”
        Also I hate drama in both the conventional and theatrical sense, so I stated only what I observed.

      2. Daibhid C

        Lets suppose that Roz wrote an article for the school newspaper saying Dorothy was an uptight whiner who didn’t know how to have fun. And then apologised to Dorothy, and offered to write another article that was more supportive.

        And lets suppose that Dorothy says “Only if you come to a study group with me. And wear something sensible.”

        Dorothy looks like a self-righteous jerk in this scenario, doesn’t she?

      3. Valdrax

        Did we read the same strip?

        Roz told her that she needs to step “out of [her] shell,” experience the world the way she does, as a participant in whatever activities she thinks Dorothy is currently too uptight for. Oh, and she needs to abandon her sense of fashion too, at least for a night.

        What part of that implies that Roz doesn’t demand that Dorothy change before the event nor expect her to be changed by it after? Roz is being high-handed because she has something Dorothy wants, and she’s not afraid to exploit it shamelessly.

        1. Plasma Mongoose

          Journalist + Stuck in their shell = Poor journalist.

        2. Valdrax

          Yes and no. A journalist needs to be an observer and not a participant for objectivity. Roz isn’t really looking for a journalist — she’s looking for a PR outlet.

    3. mischugenah

      This is what I keep thinking. Roz is an incredibly self-righteous little prick, in many ways worse than Joyce. “You have to play my game by my rules or you’re just another shallow clod.” is basically her mantra.

      1. Daibhid C

        And lets not forget that this is Dorothy offering an olive branch to Roz, and Roz putting conditions on it…

        1. invisiblemoose

          Actually Roz is doing Dorothy a favour. This is for a story, remember? Roz is putting conditions on the favour. At any time Dot can go “Yeah, fuck this” and do her own thing.

        2. Valdrax

          Not like Roz isn’t getting something from this too. She wants and needs publicity, both for her message and for her own “living in her sister’s shadow” reasons.

          Either way, it’s not cool to demand someone bend their ethics in exchange for even a pure, one-sided favor.

        3. Random Webcomics Junkie

          Ethics haven’t entered the picture yet. Roz hasn’t asked Dotty to do anything Dorothy believes to be unethical – what she’s asked for just requires Dorothy to spend some time with people she’s uncomfortable being around, in a situation she’s uncomfortable with. SO FAR there’s no indication (other than the fact that Roz is Roz) that Dorothy will be asked to do anything unethical tonight.

  45. Fauxlosopher

    Shut the fuck up, Roz.

  46. DanThe57

    I love apples to apples…

  47. Rokk

    First time commenter. Just saying, Dorothy should take Walky. It’d be a world of awesome. She did already say they were friends, after all…

    1. Undrave

      That possibility just hit me as well o.o

  48. Kirby

    I want to play Apples to Apples now. >_> That, and I’m fairly sure that even playing ~that~ game right we could manage to break Joyce’s brain.

    Bring a friend… Swingers party? Future Pornstars of America meeting? A gym? An empty building? Robin’s meeting?

  49. Animal

    Ah, Joyce.

    Don’t drink, don’t smoke,
    What do you do?
    Don’t drink, don’t smoke,
    What do you do?
    Subtle innuendos follow.
    Must be something inside.

  50. Jabberwocky

    Sprite and Apples to Apples actually sounds like a pretty fun party.

  51. Alexx

    Awwww shit, yo. You bring out the Apples to Apples and things are gona get LOUD.

  52. Dream State's Author

    You know she carries both those things around at all times. Just waiting for an excuse.

  53. Phillip Wilde

    I love how Joyce just happened to have taken that stuff to class with her on the off-chance someone would invite her to a party.

  54. Seloa

    she can come to my party! that’s what it usually consists of anyway….only with more alcohol. lol

    1. Kernanator

      Drunken Apples to Drunken Apples? Sounds like my kind of party!

  55. Ravux

    Er uh, well it’d be an opening up experience to Joyce! But uh, I don’t think it’d be smart.

    1. Aydr

      Oh, she’d open up alright…

  56. Far

    Take Mike and tell him “anyone touches me without my permission, you twist their arm off.” But then no plan survives first contact.

  57. Redpossum

    Oh, now that last panel has real potential. Pour that little Christian girl full of tequila, teach her to play hide-the-sausage, and watch the whole context of her college education change…

    “No, you’ll like it. It’s cactus juice!”

    1. Valdrax

      ‘Cause shame, date rape, and beliefs broken through lies and intoxication are the stuff happy lives are made of.

      1. Redpossum

        You could stand to lighten up a little bit.

        This is, after all, just the comments section of a webcomic. It’s not real life. Nobody gets hurt, because the people are not real.

        1. Random Webcomics Junkie

          Yeah, but the whole point of nuanced characters is that we empathise with them. That would be a shitty thing to have happen to the character, and we’d empathise with that. Most of us would have a hard time respecting the other characters who took part in abusing her.

  58. Eri

    Sprite goes really well with Vodka!

  59. Ryanwoofs

    Sadly, I think the yearly Eroticon party stopped happening in Bloomington shortly before I left a few years ago. Though, maybe not in the DoA universe…

  60. ALostProphet

    And Dorothy is swayed. Just like that. Sorry but this is my tipping point for DoA!, this storyline just irks me too much. See y’all on SP!

    1. gaspacho

      do you hear that? It’s the sound of nobody giving a shit!

      1. ALostProphet

        I mean DoA!Roz, as in she’s getting unlikable

  61. Mr T L Wolf

    Great, now I’m basically Joyce. That would be me at a party. Except it’d be sparkling cider.

  62. HMRC4EVR

    Am I the only one thinking this is going to be something of a ‘clothing optional’ party?

    And just for ther record–RC and old school tablletop BATTLETECH with armor sheets, rolling with 2d6 and fighting over if shooting down at someone gives a -1 to hit!

    1. Plasma Mongoose

      BATTLETECH? Crikey, I haven’t played that game since Magic: The Gathering took off.

  63. Sili

    It’s been a year already?

    Time for you to bring out a new collection. I found this place through the bookmark in the last one.

  64. Jackson

    im guessing this is gonna be a slut walk (this is a real thing…wikipedia it b4 you decide to randomly yell at me)

    1. Valdrax

      That would probably be the best possible outcome. Everything Roz said above would make sense without her being a total ass — just a tease — and it would fit well in her portfolio of interests.

    2. 47

      The more I think about it, the more I like this idea.
      It’s definitely something Roz would care about, and it would be something to provide context for the article.

      Though it would also be funny if it wound up being Robin’s rally.

  65. 47

    I have to say it: just how oblivious is Joyce?

    They’re still in the classroom, so she probably saw Roz talking to Dorothy. In fact, since I highly doubt Dorothy asked her, she heard Roz ask her. And probably the whole conversation.
    She was there for the class and got into a fight with Roz (more Roz arguing with her after the “flower” analogy, but w/e), so she has an idea of Roz’s worldview and thoughts on sex and sexuality. Does she really have no clue about what a Roz party might entail?

    Though she could be that eager and willing to withhold judgement, perhaps.

    1. Steven

      Joyce wants to see the best in everyone it seems. Way more than she originally did in the original Walkyverse. It seems like she’s already forgiven Roz for their argument and just wants to be friendly. I have to re-iterative what Sarah said, because it is the extent of my feelings as well: “You’re a good kid, Joyce, and I’ll be sad when the world breaks you.”

  66. AckAckAck

    Long time reader, first time commenter.

    I just want to say I hate Roz with all my heart. She try to make other people respect her decision and yet she want to drag everyone else to her lifestyle?

    Hypocrite.

    Really, I try to respect other people decision and leave them alone, but I know some people that act like Roz and and try to drag others to their lifestyle and when some people do involved and having problems they simply bail out and leave the guy/girl dragged in it having mental stress and have to handle the problem by themselves.

    I prefer Shortpacked’s Roz, at least she do it with people that willing and not turned into flaming idiotic activist like that.

    Sorry for the rant, but yeah, I have friends (or used to be friends) just like Roz.

    And sorry for the English, it’s not my native language.

    1. Aydr

      I just want to say, great icon.

      1. AckAckAck(Bizarro Roz)

        Ahyuck, I saw that too, love the irony of it.

        Maybe I should change my name to Bizarro Roz.

        There, done.

    2. Charles RB

      “I prefer Shortpacked’s Roz, at least she do it with people that willing”

      Shortpacked Roz didn’t give two shits when Jacob said no, so DoA Roz is actually in the lead here – Dorothy could just not turn up.

      1. AckAckAck(Bizarro Roz)

        I stand by my opinion, she still boning Jacob because she know deep down he still want to do it.

    3. Bill M.

      “And sorry for the English, it’s not my native language.”

      You type it better than some people who’ve used it all their lives.

      1. AckAckAck(Bizarro Roz)

        Thanks, I realize some grammar mistakes there, oh well, thanks for the assuring me, I will try harder to use better English.

    4. Drake

      Now that’s true. Roz’s shaping up to be a complete hypocrite, of a type that rather abounds in real life.

      “Everyone should be free to do what they want with their bodies! As long as what they want is the same thing I do, though, otherwise, man, they’re SO stupid”

  67. MarcinMN

    Go do a story on Amazi-Girl, Dorothy. Do not feed Roz’s insatiable appetite for attention. :p

  68. AckAckAck

    *Look at the avatar given to me*

    Oh the irony, maybe I turned into bizzarro Roz from another dimension.

  69. Shifty

    Taking Joyce to a college party where there is most likely going to be booze, sex and other forms of debauchery. Oh, yeah, this should be entertaining…

    And where was Joyce hiding those?

    1. Plasma Mongoose

      The same place she hides her tracts.

    2. Digidestined of Trust (Tim)

      If she’s anything like she was in the Walkyverse, she should be able to control the alcohol from effecting her.

  70. Jack Faire

    Given the connections me and my friend’s come up with when playing Apples to Apples we would scar poor little Joyce’s brain.

  71. carcinoGeneticist

    Calling this one- Joe is somehow going to land himself at this party, and there will be girls making out.
    His motions for sloppy makeouts seen here http://www.dumbingofage.com/2011/comic/book-1/06-yesterday-was-thursday/compete/ will not be in vain.

  72. gaspacho

    Wow. Just when you think Roz is politically motivated she shows her drive for attention.

  73. gaspacho

    Maybe she’ll bring walky. I have no idea why, but I just think so.

  74. TeddyMarinaro

    You do know that there is Apples to Apples: Bible Edition. It is friggin hilarious!

  75. Ian

    My theory: the party is the rally, Roz is going to pretend she’s in a lesbian polyamorous threesome with Dorothy and “a friend”. And now Billie AND Joyce are showing up. Fuuuuun.

  76. Pingback: Luke Surl Comics - 489 – Para-trooper
  77. Pingback: Luke Surl Comics - Blog: 2011 Webcomic Roundup

  78. Kiggy

    Is Joyce related to Ned Flanders?

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