119

Usually straight
Posted on December 5, 2024 by David M Willis

119 thoughts on “Usually straight”

  1. Ana Chronistic

    It would be funny if literally EVERYONE ELSE ON CAMPUS BUT JENNINGSWORTH knows it’s Amber

    1. Taigan

      Given the alternative is JB admitting she was wrong, I think that’s a distinct possibility.

    2. JessWitt

      The last panel of DoA will be the dawning realization of this on Jennifer and she drops the biggest F-bomb in response.

      1. Reltzik

        I mean, that would be awesome to have preserved in perpetuity on the comic’s last page, but only if there was a way to fit Becky shouting that she’s a lesbian in there as well.

        1. pope suburban

          Jen yells “FUCK” real loud and Becky pops up to add “The ladies!” or something similar. Totes doable.

        2. pope suburban

          Omg best grav roulette for this. ?

      2. Needfuldoer

        It’s the last panel because the F-bomb speech bubble covers the entire comic for a week.

      3. Furie

        You really think the strip will go long enough to show 83 year old Billifer at Amber’s funeral?

        1. Makkabee

          Timeskip. We’ll see the same parking lot as the last one, and watch the silver-gray minivan disintegrating decade by decade in the post-apocalyptic hellscape of Indiana after the collapse of industrial civilization.

          Then we see an old woman once known as Jennifer, dressed in a mix of crudely tanned leather and ragged synthetic garments scavenged from the ruins of Bloomington and Indianapolis, arriving on muleback to see what’s left of the old college gang one last time…

    3. Lars

      And Daisy.

  2. darkoneko

    HAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA oh my god. Of course Ruth know too

    1. Nono

      Well yeah, Ruth pretty much called Amber out on it during the whole kidnapping arc. And I imagine she had her suspicions after Amber and Sal had their fight.

    2. Regalli

      Don’t quote me on this, but I think it might have come up during the kidnapping arc for Ruth to figure it out? Could be misremembering though.

      1. Sirksome

        Everyone’s remembering correctly. Even if Ruth wasn’t directly told this conversation makes it pretty obvious.

        https://www.dumbingofage.com/2020/comic/book-10/03-when-it-crumbles/effect-2/

        1. Tesset

          Wait, I read a little farther on this, and now I remember why this storyline has felt weird. Sal & Walky told Jennifer who Amazi-Girl is. Okay Jennifer…. >.>

        2. superglucose

          in the shock of shocks, it turns out JB doesn’t actually listen to anyone else

        3. Anna

          Oh shock and horror!

        4. Devin

          Jennifer’s journalistic instincts for sussing out what’s true and what isn’t appear to be as sharp as a bouncy ball.

        5. Daibhid C

          Yup, and Jennifer insisted that this didn’t make any sense because Amber was one of the kidnap victims. I think Sal and Walky just gave up at that point.

        6. thejeff

          It’s kind of funny people linking that strip to show how weird it is that she doesn’t know when the whole point of that strip was her rejecting the info

        7. clif

          Yeah. And Sal didn’t tell her who Amazigirl is, Walky did. And there’s the problem.

          In other news, I might not have gotten my popcorn’s worth earlier but this sequence is making up for it.

    3. HueSatLight

      Dorothy ratted out Amber/AG to Ruth. https://www.dumbingofage.com/desecrated/

      1. HueSatLight

        To be fair, some of that strip’s commenters think Ruth had already figured it out, and Dorothy just ratted on them fighting.

    4. Effie

      Ooookay. So Billifer was told AG’s real identity, and still refuses to believe it. Not the twist I was expecting.

      1. Cybersnark

        Also known as the Lex Luthor effect.

        1. Firseal

          The Daily Planet: Clark Kent is Superman.

          Lex Luther reads: Clark Kent is super, man. *Hmm, I’ve met him, he did seem like a decent fellow”.

  3. Sirksome

    Nice to know Ruh was looking.

  4. Nono

    Oh she really does still think it’s Sal.

    1. Doctor_Who

      Universal constants in Dumbing of Age:

      * Joyce will make hilarious faces

      * Walky will eat his weight in McNuggets weekly

      * Daisy will never get laid

      * Jennifer will be wrong

      1. Lars

        * Jason will make a Bernd das Brot face with every human interaction.
        * Robin will drive Lesley mad.
        * Carla, Carla, Carla, Carla, Carla, Carla, Carla

        1. Queezle

          That is a reference I did not expect to see today

    2. Thag Simmons

      dumbest girl alive, she’s great

      1. Deanatay

        Dumbest girl alive

        Acts like smartest

    3. Needfuldoer

      Grass grows, birds fly, the sun shines, and Jennifer is stubbornly wrong.

  5. NGPZ

    At this rate Jennifer ain’t never gonna be cut out for real journalism

    more like fuckin TMZ 9-9

    1. drs

      She can be the news announcer.

    2. Madock345

      No way, tmz are trashy but nobody breaks celebrity news faster. They would absolutely not tolerate this lack of aggressively invasive investigation.

    3. Needfuldoer

      As long as she can sit behind a desk while (mostly) reading a teleprompter and ad-libbing a bit, she can be an anchor.

      1. Thomas

        You mean she is a deadweight that can be tossed. Seems fair.

        Every ship she tried to commandeer so far has drifted, though.

        1. Needfuldoer

          It’s not quite as easy as it sounds, and AI slop certainly isn’t ready to do it yet. (Ever listen to that annoyingly chipper TikTok TTS voice for more than two minutes?)

    4. anon

      Given that daisy’s ‘in charge’ of it , i wouldn’t be surprised if it’s being run incompently or anyone even bother reading it

  6. TrueVCU

    And once again the day is SAVED by apathy!

    1. CrazyJ

      Even if someone directly told Jennifer who Amazi-Girl is she wouldn’t believe a geek like Amber is a superhero (despite it being pretty tropic to comic books). She latched onto Sal because Sal is cool and only cool people matter.

      1. Effie

        Someone did! https://www.dumbingofage.com/2020/comic/book-10/04-is-a-song-forever/whatnow/

    2. spriteless aunty

      Yaaaay!

  7. Yeet

    I wonder if jen’s gonna take the amazi-girl thing too far with sal and go through her things or whatever and end up getting punched

    1. Yeet

      actually far more likely she ends up making malaya think that sal’s been telling people that she’s amazi-girl to make herself seem cool

      1. sultryglebe

        So Malaya is one other person who doesn’t know. There’s probably a handful.

      2. Schpoonman

        Oh god, that is how those two idiots would shake this out.

    2. Bryy

      Of course she will.

    3. anon

      I think sal will just be confused and brushed it off. Or malaya trying to take credit, if it not somehow leading to her ‘investigating’ her roller derby team

  8. Bryy

    Good on you, Ruth.

  9. Suet

    Keyword: Usually.

    “Doing journalism” sounds wacky

    1. Cabbage

      She has done journalism before! https://www.dumbingofage.com/2012/comic/book-2/02-choosing-my-religion/notsure/

    2. Mark

      To me it’s the “on” that sounds wacky. These days it’s usually “doing journalism to“.

    3. anon

      nothing wrong with physical print but i’m surprised it wouldn’t just turn into some online news letter/update on the official site or so and ppl just sending in stories/tips and daisy/editors just sending through whatever’s approved

  10. Ty34er

    Just need Mary to be like, “What are you talking about? It’s Amber.”

  11. Jeremiah

    Oh Jennifer is gonna make a fool out of herself in front of Sal, more that she had already done multiple times in the past, and I can’t wait to see it. She is so sure she knows something and ready to reject the possibility that she might be wrong.

  12. HueSatLight

    She must be headed to Danny’s room, because Sal’s room is right next to Amber’s, and Sal’s has the right-handed doorknob, like the door behind Ruth.

    1. cbwroses

      Dorothy and Becky are the room next to Amber’s.
      They’re the ones who share a bathroom.
      I guess it’s possible Sal’s room could be on the other side and not share a bathroom, but I don’t THINK that’s the case.

      1. Aquila

        Sal’s room shares a bathroom with Joyce and Sarah. As far as I’ve figured (and remembered) it’s
        [Ruth] [Joyce/Sarah] [Sal/Malaya] [Dorothy/Becky] [Amber-mazigirl/Dina].

        There should really be a MAP somewhere on the site.

        1. Nono

          I don’t think we know where Joyce’s room is in relation to the rest of the hallway but I think Ruth’s is at the end, and shares a wall with Carla’s.

          We also know that Roz/Mary’s room is catty-cornered to Sal/Malaya’s (from when Jennifer lived there), and is in between Ruth’s and Sal’s, which means by definition it’s also between it and Joyce’s.

        2. Tan

          Ruth’s room is the one Roz&Mary’s is catty-cornered to. https://www.dumbingofage.com/2014/comic/book-5/01-when-somebody-loved-me/march/

        3. Tan

          When Walky was taking Booster on a tour of the wing, they passed by Rachel & Other Rachel’s room, then Agatha, Sierra, Mandy, and Grace’s before coming to Joyce & Sarah’s room. The next room visited was Sal & Malaya’s, then Dina & Amber, then Dorothy & Becky, then the singles at the end of the hallway. It is noted then that Carla’s room and Ruth’s room are both back near the elevators.

        4. Tan

          My best guess at the moment…. On one side of the hallway, starting from the elevators, is the Rachels, then Roz & Mary, then Joyce & Sarah, then Sal & Malaya, then Dina & Amber, then Becky & Dorothy, then the single. On the other side is Ruth, then Carla, then Agatha, Sierra, Mandy, and Grace in some combination between two rooms joined by half-bath. Then… There should be two more doubles then the single, but the only unaccounted person I can think of is Meredith.

          (my belief that Carla’s room is across the hall from Joyce & Sarah’s but closer than Ruth’s is when Amber ducked in there to change into her Amazi-Girl costume during the White Board Ding-Dong Bandit incident: https://www.dumbingofage.com/2014/comic/book-4/04-the-whiteboard-dong-bandit/peener/ )

          Dorothy was coming from Amber’s room when she ran into Jennifer.

          I have no idea how to make this gel that doesn’t amount to “It’s a joke in a webcomic, loosen up.”

        5. HueSatLight

          This is what I have for “minimal” room layout, because there’s actually “dozens” of rooms, but the story has a smaller cast than that.

          Sunrise side of hall:
          Elevator
          Showers
          Ruth
          Carla
          Agatha Guns / Sierra (officially)
          mystery double
          Joyce/Sarah
          Sal/Jennifer/Malaya
          Amber/Dina/AG
          Dorothy/Sierra/Becky
          Forbidden Single.

          Mary/Roz are across from the mystery double next to Agatha, cattycorner from both Ruth and Sal
          Across from Joyce are Mandy and Grace (and Sierra).
          Across from Sal are the Rachels.
          Meredith and her roommate (implied Bloodthorn) are in a right opening room.

          Sometimes doorknobs switch which side of the door they’re on, though.

          I hum the MST3K themesong when I work on my chart.

        6. HueSatLight

          https://www.dumbingofage.com/callin/ for Rachels’ room across from Sal.

    2. HueSatLight

      there are some nebulous areas, where the hall lengthens and shortens as art/story/forgetful author dictate. But the four main rooms are: elevators<- Joyce/Sarah – Sal/Jennifer/Malaya – Amber/Dina/AG – Dorothy/Sierra/Becky -> end of hallway stairs

      1. HueSatLight

        add “discourage strangers from showing up to where real college kids live”, to reasons for ambiguous layout.

  13. Kyrik Michalowski

    I can’t quite tell, but I think Ruth and Jennifer have a problem with each other.

    No idea where it all comes from :V

    1. Jeremiah

      It’s a mystery for this ages.

  14. Dana W

    They are not even the same height or build. How can an otherwise intelligent person be this intensely wrong?

    1. Bryy

      No, you don’t understand.

      She has to be right.

    2. John Campbell

      I have to say, I haven’t really seen any signs that she’s otherwise all that intelligent.

      1. Amelie Wikström

        She has some advanced specialized knowledge (re. partying too hard), but her brain runs mostly on a deep intuitive understanding of all the people around her (that is usually spectacularly wrong).

        1. thejeff

          According to Sarah, she commands a wealth of helpful knowledge pertaining to terrible and horrific things.

        2. Dana W

          I’m glad to see someone else i have that on common with even if they are fictional.

    3. jeffepp

      Remember who we are talking about.

    4. Jeremiah

      Let’s be honest, Jennifer intelligence is a very fluctuating thing, that changes depending on the topic and the person she is taking to and her mood.

    5. Thag Simmons

      I don’t know if she’s ever gotten a great look at her, for what it’s worth.

      Plus she’s at least a bit into the sunk-cost fallacy at this point

      1. Tan

        So there was the time Amazi-Girl physically carried Jennifer to the elevator and they had a brief conversation (though Amazi-Girl’s back was turned for most of it)

        There was also the time Amazi-Girl had broken into Jennifer+Sal’s room and Jennifer shined a flashlight directly in Amazi-Girl’s face. Not exactly the best lighting, and Jennifer was primed to think it was Sal at that time.

        And then at the party where Joyce got drugged, Jennifer was right there when Amazi-Girl announced herself and stood out in a brightly lit room. This one I shall link: https://www.dumbingofage.com/2011/comic/book-1/06-yesterday-was-thursday/assistance/ I guess to be generous Jennifer was distracted by Joyce’s state at that particular time?

    6. thejeff

      Sal is basically Batman. And Batman is a master of disguise.

    7. Dana W

      I didn’t mean to imply she was brilliant, but she is a passing grades college student, and she was a head cheerleader as well right? And they are usually vultures about body type and build. NO way you can see the two and think they are the same person. The person saying she is willfully ignorant simply to be “right” probably isn’t far from the truth.

  15. BBCC

    Yeah, don’t interrupt her while she makes this mistake, Ruth.

  16. JepMZ

    So she’s obviously wrong about this one, is she wrong about yesterday?

    1. John Campbell

      The only thing she got right yesterday was identifying Ruth.

  17. Reltzik

    I’m sure Malaya will set her straight.

    ….

    … when I typed that sentence 5 seconds ago, I meant “explain the facts to her”, but now I’m wondering whether it works with whatever pronouns Malaya is using right now. (Last I remember she was still vague on how she wanted to categorize itself.)

    1. Sol

      I think Malaya is cool with any pronouns, from what I recall when meeting Booster.

    2. Yumi

      “Works with whatever pronouns Malaya is using right now”? Do you mean with Malaya’s gender? Pronouns =/= gender, so it’s kind of unclear. Anyway, Malaya uses she/they/whatever pronouns and they transcend gender.

  18. IntangibleMatter

    How many people are even left on this floor who *don’t* know Amazi-Girl’s identity at this point?

    1. Bruno

      Just one.

      1. Needfuldoer

        And she’s just visiting.

    2. Slartibeast Button, BIA

      She needs one of those erase-everyone’s-memory-of-you spells, like in that movie.

      1. Mark

        They left it in a previous comic.

    3. Nono

      I’m not sure if people like Mandy, Grace, Sierra and the Rachels know. But they did know when Becky was in hiding so there’s probably some kinda grapevine.

      1. Mark

        In a college dorm? Noooo….

      2. Daibhid C

        Ooh, I betcha wondering how I knew,
        That AG shares headspace with you.
        You told half the people on this floor,
        So it’s no surprise it might have spread to more.
        You wear a disguise to hide your face,
        But Mandy knows and so does Grace,
        Don’cha know that they heard it through the grapevine.

    4. Yeet

      joe, jacob, maybe some other dudes? also booster most likely.
      probably some of the secondary characters in the girl’s wing.

      1. Daibhid C

        Walky told Booster Amber had multiple personalities as soon as they met her. Since Booster is annoyingly good at psychological stuff (if not knowing when it’s appropriate to shut up about it) I wouldn’t be at all surprised if they’ve formed a strong hypothesis as to who the other personality is.

      2. HueSatLight

        Since Amber hasn’t been arrested, Mary probably doesn’t know.

  19. Alongcameaspider

    I’m pretty sure Amazigirl could show up, prove she’s the real Amazigirl, and then take off her mask and Jennifer still wouldn’t realize

    1. Disastroid

      “Nice cosplay, dork.”

  20. Archieve

    on one hand Ruth was so close to calling out Jennifer for being wrong about amazigirls identity, on the other good for Ruth for finally walking away from Jennifer’s schemes.

  21. Pocky

    How is she so bad at this lol

  22. Sambo

    The funniest part about this is how Walky straight-up told Jennifer that Amber is Amazi-Girl

    1. Sambo

      https://www.dumbingofage.com/2020/comic/book-10/04-is-a-song-forever/whatnow/

      1. sultryglebe

        Sal’s amazing ability is being better at sniffing out bullcrap than Jennifer.

    2. Kyrik Michalowski

      Both being stubborn, and refusing to acknowledge info until absolutely forced to accept it is Billie’s/Jennifer’s specialty.

  23. Needfuldoer

    Ruth once again demonstrates why she’s my favorite character.

  24. Nevermaker

    JENNIFER I SWEAR TO CHRIST I WILL DRESS AMBER AS AMAZIGIRL AND PUT SAL NEXT TO HER AND FORCE YOU TO LOOK AT THEM

    1. Twilight of the Sandwiches

      Jennifer literally saw Amber dressed up like Amazi-Girl and it didn’t help

      https://www.dumbingofage.com/2022/comic/book-12/05-this-was-halloween/doesnt/

      I dunno what will at this point

    2. Needfuldoer

      She’ll just wonder how Sal managed to be in two places at the same time.

      “I’m seeing double, here. FOUR Sals?!”

  25. foducool

    still thinks it’s Sal, huh? XD

  26. Owlmirror

    Amusing notion:

    Jennifer confronts Sal: What were you doing at Maxwell Hall?
    Sal: Uh, hangin’ out?

    [Cut to blue panel of Sal seated just on the other side of the gargoyle grotesque, headphones on, staring into space
    Amazi-Girl wanders around to that side.
    Sal: You jumped down and climbed back up — Ah miss anythin’?
    Amazi-Girl: Nothing important. ]

    Back to present:
    Jennifer shouts: AH-HA! I knew it!
    Sal: WTF?

    1. Owlmirror

      Shit.
      Tagbork.

      Amusing notion:

      Jennifer confronts Sal: What were you doing at Maxwell Hall?
      Sal: Uh, hangin’ out?

      [Cut to blue panel of Sal seated just on the other side of the grotesque, headphones on, staring into space
      Amazi-Girl wanders around to that side.
      Sal: You jumped down and climbed back up — Ah miss anythin’?
      Amazi-Girl: Nothing important. ]

      Back to present:
      Jennifer shouts: AH-HA! I knew it!
      Sal: WTF?

  27. Michael Steamweed

    We got 4 great book titles there!
    1. Panel 1: Dumbing of Age: I’m doing journalism
    2. Panel 2: Dumbing of Age: Enjoy being usually straight with Amazi-Girl
    3. Panel 4: Dumbing of Age: Open your shirt a little wider
    4. Panel 6: Dumbing of Age: You know what, I don’t care

  28. Rabisch

    The question is whether Jennifer will be able to irritate just Sal or will she be able to make angry Danny and Malaya too in the same time. I hope to see her kicked out of a room again.

  29. Ophidiophile

    Jennifer: Dunning-Kruger incarnate.

  30. Poyo

    pretty much everyone knows who amazi-girl is i had completely forgotten jennifer still thinks its sal. and everyone already knowing makes this so much funnier

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